Chapter Text
Shen Qingqiu regretted that he specifically was chosen for this mission. He could have sent a senior disciple instead! But Yue Qingyuan insisted and there were only so many times he could complain and get away with it among the other Peak Lords. He knew to choose his battles wisely.
“If Liu-shidi would just STOP for a moment already,” he snapped, his patience quickly burning up.
Liu Qingge ignored him, focused on trying to track the direction the steps of the Wild Furred Elephant-Bear were coming from. He stormed between the trees with quick steps, seeming to not even look where he was going. Stupid. That was a recipe for a disaster, but who would listen to Shen Qingqiu? The peak lord of the peak of strategists?
Suddenly, they heard the loud trumping cry of the Wild Furred Elephant-Bear to their left. Liu Qingge was gone in a second, leaving only the flash of his sword being drawn behind.
Shen Qingqiu cursed and hastily followed. At least it would soon be over.
He took his next step and something clicked under his foot. Shen Qingqiu froze.
Oh no, fuck. He very much hoped it was not what he thought it was while he knew there was little chance he was wrong. After all, there were only little flora that ever clicked and only one that wasn’t located in the demon realm. What was a Sandy Ash Funnel doing here of all places?? They were supposed to be native to the Western Desert!
Taking a deep, calming breath, Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes and mentally reviewed what he knew about the Sandy Ash Funnel. For one, it was usually only found in the desert. Dried as it was in the hot climate, it was harmless and one of the main ingredients used in a strong cleansing tonic. It was especially popular among non-cultivators, if he remembered correctly.
Shen Qingqiu made a mental note to send word to Qian Cao to deal with the mushroom once he was back on Qing Jing Peak. If he got back.
During rain season though, one should stay away as far from them as possible. And... what the- had the mushroom just attached itself to his spiritual energy?
“Shen Qingqiu!”
Oh joy. The brute was back. Shen Qingqiu suppressed his irritation. He closed his eyes, taking deep, calming breaths. He was not dying because of that meathead if he had any say in it.
“WHAT are you doing just standing there. The beast is dead, now stop being lazy and go tell me what parts to bring back for Mu-shidi.”
Without opening his eyes, Shen Qingqiu replied toneless. “What this one is doing is trying not to die. This Qingqiu wouldn’t expect a brute like Liu-shidi to understand the concept of self-preservation.”
“If someone wouldn’t go and ruin his cultivation regularly, the Wild Furred Elephant-Bear would not be a danger.”
“And if someone could hold on to a damn piece of parchment, this one wouldn’t even need to be here!” The words exploded out from Shen Qingqiu. At the same time, a low buzzing started from the mushroom under his left foot, the tone barely noticeably getting louder. Oh fuck, that did not sound good.
Shen Qingqiu tensed up, tuning out Liu Qingge and just concentrating on his breathing. In. Out. In. Hold for a moment. And out again. He clenched his teeth. If he wanted to get out of this alive, he needed to swallow his pride and ask this brainless idiot for help (urgh), without it dissolving into a fight. A fight would kill them both right now. And he refused to share his grave with the Bai Zhan war god of all people.
“Listen closely, Liu-shidi,” he said through gritted teeth, “for this master will not repeat himself. This master is standing on a Sandy Ash Funnel. An active Sandy Ash Funnel that is linked to this one’s spiritual energy.” Shen Qingqiu explained as if talking to a child. “If it blows up, we will both suffer great – and this one really means great – injuries at best and probably die before someone finds us. At worst, we will both die instantly. So shut up, stop talking already!”
Miraculously, Liu Qingge listened and didn’t say anything to that. Shen Qingqiu could basically hear the accusations not thrown at him. He was almost surprised Liu Qingge hadn’t just jumped on his sword as soon as he finished talking and left him behind to save his own skin. Shen Qingqiu would have done exactly that. (Probably.)
Taking another deep breath, Shen Qingqiu continued, recounting what he knew about the damn mushroom. “Dried up, the Funnel is harmless. If it weren’t active, a simple heating talisman would be enough to neutralize it.”
Liu Qingge, arms crossed and with an angry frown on his face, murmured: “So it IS your fault you are in this at all.”
Shen Qingqiu ignored the remark, wrecking through his memory. Maybe…? No, that wouldn’t work. The Burning Fields Orchid? Hm, maybe.
Absentmindedly, Shen Qingqiu wiped a slight sheet of sweat off his forehead, not even noticing he was doing that.
Maybe if combined with the effect of the Greying Lotus…? One to break the spiritual connection between him and the Sandy Ash Funnel and the other to dry it up at the same time, before it could go off? Both were readily available in the gardens of Qian Cao and could be ground into a powder in a short enough amount of time.
That would mean he had to rely on at least one more person to get out of this. Shen Qingqiu hated the idea deeply.
He focused his gaze on Liu Qingge who, to his credit, hadn’t moved at all during Shen Qingqiu’s musings. Another wave of deep revulsion rolled through him, but he suppressed it before the Funnel could sense it. “This one needs shidi to fly back to Qian Cao. Tell Mu-shidi to combine the powder of the Burning Field Orchid with the Greying Lotus. Repeat what I just said.”
Liu Qingge uncrossed his arms and laid a hand on his sword instead, the frown on his face worsening. “Go to Qian Cao. Tell Mu-shidi to combine the Burning Field Orchid and the Greying Lotus.”
“Shidi will remember that. This one swears to come back and haunt shidi for the rest of his life if he dares to forget again.”
Liu Qingge had the gall to roll his eyes. “I will remember.”
Without wasting any more time, Liu Qingge drew his sword and stepped on it. Not looking back, he soon left Shen Qingqiu’s sight.
Shen Qingqiu was left behind with the sense that he made a mistake sending the brute away. Now that he wasn’t in immediate danger, why should he come back for the martial brother he hated the most, when not even his once-brother had? He didn’t even need to do anything, just wait. This was a prime opportunity to get rid of him without incurring the sect leader’s wrath.
Oh, Shen Qingqiu was so dead, wasn’t he?
Shen Qingqiu had a quick thought to just step off the Funnel and be done with it, but an annoying part of him still clung to life, still wanted to live after everything.
Some days, Shen Qingqiu hated this part of him more than he hated anything else.
Another low buzz came from the mushroom. Fuck. Deep breaths. Light thoughts. The sound of a jiejie playing the pipa, maybe not perfectly, but full of passion. The taste of tanghulu.
The buzz stopped and Shen Qingqiu sighed in relief.
The buzzing was bad, it had to be. Thinking back to every single book in the Qing Jing library about both plants and mushrooms, he couldn’t remember even one of them mention the Sandy Ash Funnel buzzing. Or connecting to someone’s spiritual energy, for that matter. Was it that nobody who found out about it had ever made it out alive to tell? If so, Shen Qingqiu strengthened his resolve, then he had to be the one to spread his findings, like any proper scholar should.
Okay, fine, he’ll have to start collecting his observations from scratch, if there was nothing to go off of. What could he say about the buzzing? The first time it sounded when he had lashed out at the brute, but calming down made it stop. The second time just now he didn’t utter any sounds and nobody else was around to either. He was just… feeling miserable? Huh. Was the mushroom reacting to strong emotions?
That was fascinating. If that piece of shit mushroom wouldn’t likely blow him to pieces, he’d quite enjoy observing it for real.
A short, warning buzz sounded.
Well, looks like it was sentient to some degree. Through the spiritual link it created, it probably read, or at the very least felt, his thoughts. And it obviously didn’t like to be insulted. Shen Qingqiu almost snorted. You know what, Funnel, fair enough.
Fine. It reacted to his emotions and thoughts. What about actual movements?
Shen Qingqiu carefully shifted his weight.
Nothing happened.
Maybe…? He made to lift his leg off the Sandy Ash Funnel and immediately it started buzzing again. Shen Qingqiu stopped. So he was still stuck here, but as long as he didn’t try to leave, he should be safe enough from being blown up. Well, that was at least something.
Shen Qingqiu decided to settle down for some light meditation for the moment, careful to keep his left foot on the Funnel. After the sword flight over to the mission side earlier that day, his qi reserves were too depleted for his own liking. Especially if he were to just sit around and wait for the near future. He of course had his emergency rations on him, but depending on how long it took for either Liu Qingge to return or for himself to find another solution, he may need to ration them out for a while. Inedia was such a useful ability to have.
***
Shen Qingqiu didn’t know how much time had passed when he heard the rustling of disturbed undergrowth. Instantly, he was on full alert. (As much as he could, anyway. He shouldn’t be feeling this weak…?)
The murmuring reached him before he saw the person coming in his direction… seeming to follow some small beast? Was that a Wild Furred Elephant-Bear baby? Gods, if he got out of here, he’d KILL Liu Qingge.
“Don’t. Come closer.” The sharp warning hung between them and the stranger looked up, finally realizing he wasn’t alone any longer. Almost unnaturally green eyes met Shen Qingqiu’s, widened in surprise.
“Oh, sorry. This one didn’t realize this clearing was already taken.” The stranger had a calm, warm voice. Like he was used to talk to animals easily spooked, Shen Qingqiu noticed warily.
“It isn’t.”
The Wild Furred Elephant-Bear baby came over, nibbling on the edge of Shen Qingqiu’s robes. Nope, absolutely not.
Shen Qingqiu pulled a fan from his sleeve and tried to push the small Wild Furred Elephant-Bear away without touching it, with mixed success. It stopped chewing on his robe, but now it had moved to his sleeve instead.
The stranger laughed. “It likes you,” he said with a smile.
“A rather bad decision, I hear,” Shen Qingqiu replied dryly. He sighed. “Would master…?”
“Shen. This one’s name is Shen Yuan.”
For a moment Shen Qingqiu considered if there was any connection between them but discarded the thought almost immediately. Shen was not an uncommon enough name for meeting another sharing it to be remarkable. “Right. Would master Shen take this thing away before it kills both of us?”
Without hesitation, Shen Yuan stepped closer and gently pried Shen Qingqiu’s sleeve from its mouth. “It wouldn’t do that. It’s just curious. I doubt the poor baby ever saw anything as exciting as immortal master’s fancy outer robes.”
“This one knows. The beast wouldn’t be the one doing the killing.” Now no longer occupied, Shen Qingqiu opened the fan and put it between him and Shen Yuan, fluttering it lightly while hiding his expression in the process.
A mask seemed to slip over Shen Yuan’s face, serious and professional. He scanned over Shen Qingqiu, his gaze stopping at Shen Qingqiu’s leg. Shen Qingqiu was overtly conscious of the path it took, could almost feel it like a featherlight touch. “Damn. Which one is it?”
“Sandy Ash Funnel.” Shen Qingqiu didn’t expect Shen Yuan to have heard of the dangers of the mushroom, rare as they actually posed a threat.
A surprised whistle escaped Shen Yuan. “Here? How did that even happen?”
“That’s what this one wants to know as well!”
Shen Yuan knelt down a few steps from Shen Qingqiu, absentmindedly stroking the Wild Furred Elephant-Bear still in his arms, his gaze on the mushroom. “I have never heard of them being anywhere other than the desert,” he murmured. “How do they even survive in this climate?”
Shen Qingqiu didn’t feel like the other expected any answer, the question seemed more like idle musing, so he kept silent, waiting carefully for what Shen Yuan would do next. He didn’t trust this strange man one bit. Strange men could be divided into two kinds: the dangerous kind or the harmless and just weird one you’d still rather keep a healthy distance of. Shen Qingqiu didn’t trust this kind façade to not hide something rotten behind it.
“What is master Shen even doing out here? The next village is at least a day away by foot and frankly, master Shen doesn’t look like he would survive a night out on his own,” Shen Qingqiu asked after a while, when silence fell between them.
“Hey, rude! Fair, but you don’t have to say it like that,” Shen Yuan protested.
Shen Qingqiu just gave him a Look. Unflinchingly, Shen Yuan met his gaze. “This one was actually looking for the Wild Furred Elephant-Bears. I heard there should be some around here.” He smiled down at the baby Wild Furred Elephant-Bear. “This humble cultivator is working on a comprehensive bestiary and couldn’t pass up an opportunity to take a peek at those guys.” Shen Yuan set the baby Wild Furred Elephant-Bear down beside him. “If this one may ask, how did immortal master end up here?”
“This one is afraid master Shen came all the way for nothing.” Shen Qingqiu focused on the small Wild Furred Elephant-Bear happily occupying itself with a flower it found a few steps away. “This one was sent with his shidi to take care of the Wild Furred Elephant-Bears.”
“Pity. Well, my schedule just got cleared, so I guess I can keep you company. That shidi of yours went to get help?” Shen Yuan turned around, facing towards Shen Qingqiu.
Shen Qingqiu nodded sharply. “If he knows what’s good for him,” Shen Qingqiu murmured. “Whatever, do what you want.” Shen Qingqiu settled back into some light meditations.
Rolling over, Shen Yuan rummaged through a qiankun pouch. He emerged with some loose parchment rolls and charcoal.
Shen Qingqiu tried to ignore the other, but his curiosity got the better of him. He watched as on the sheet of paper between them appeared the contour of the Wild Furred Elephant-Bear in a few strokes. An almost lifelike, but minimalistic sketch, with the flower and everything.
Once finished, Shen Yuan held the sketch up against the sunlight, squinting at it, before he turned it around. “What does immortal master think?”
Shen Qingqiu considered. The man was, surprisingly, pleasant enough company. He didn’t require his attention at every moment like his disciples did and neither did his presence irritate him like the brute’s had. So, he quelched his first instinct to trash it down with a few choice words and replied more truthfully. “Master Shen’s skills are not bad. This one looks forward to seeing your bestiary once it’s finished.”
A frown crossed Shen Yuan’s face. “That will likely take a while. I still need to crosscheck some notes with a few eyewitness accounts, but they are rare to come by. This one has been trying to get into the libraries of Qing Jing for months now, but that bastard of a Peak Lord keeps ignoring my requests.”
Oh, this was good. Amusement sparked in Shen Qingqiu. How far could he take it before Shen Yuan realized? “This one is pretty sure he can get master Shen inside the libraries.”
Shen Yuan’s eyes sparkled basically. “Oh, does immortal master work there?”
Shen Qingqiu snorted. “You could say that.”
“Is Shen Qingqiu really as bad as people say he is?”
“No, he’s way worse.”
Seeing the wide-eyed shock on Shen Yuan’s face, Shen Qingqiu quickly hid his smirk behind his fan.
Part of him, the part keeping track of his surrounding, made Shen Qingqiu aware of something, noticing something before he fully understood what he noticed. What was it? He mentally played back the last few minutes, from Shen Yuan’s sketch, to him teasing the other man, amused by the misunderstanding… There it was! His amusement. Quickly comparing it to the other instances… yes, the damn Funnel should have gotten off, that was an intense emotion alright. Why didn’t it?
“Immortal master…?” Shen Yuan asked hesitantly.
“Not now, I need to think.”
So, what was different this time? It wasn’t the intensity of his emotions, that was the most amused he’d been in a while. Was it because the emotion wasn’t linked to the Funnel at all? Maybe.
Or was it Shen Yuan somehow? Both previous instances were linked to his idiot of a shidi. So maybe they had to be directed at another person? Though that didn’t make sense eith-… Wait. Was it…? Ugh, could it possibly be that simple? Did the Sandy Ash Funnel only react to strong negative emotions?
Putting his theory to the test, Shen Qingqiu focused on the frustration he had been suppressing all day and how easily it could have been avoided if he just stayed in bed that morning. As if on command, the buzzing sounded, before Shen Qingqiu put his emotions back into a box where he wouldn’t need to deal with that.
Opening his eyes, Shen Qingqiu thought over what that could possibly mean. “Tell this one, master Shen, what do you know about the Sandy Ash Funnel?”
“Well.” Shen Yuan stood up to walk around the clearing while he thought. The Wild Furred Elephant-Bear looked up curiously at the movement. It quickly jumped up to follow Shen Yuan walking up and down. “They are a type of fungus that grows on the edge of the Western Desert. They are mostly used in constipation medicine, but also to help to clear up clogged meridians.” Shen Yuan thought again for a while. “The obvious of course, they become explosive if wet. But I don’t think I’ve read any more.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Shen Qingqiu murmured. “How come there isn’t any mention of the buzzing anywhere?”
That caught Shen Yuan’s attention. “Immortal master hears a buzzing coming from the Sandy Ash Funnel? Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure! Haven’t you heard it for yourself just now?”
Shen Yuan hesitated. “Immortal master, I don’t think the mushroom you stepped on is a Sandy Ash Funnel.”
Shen Qingqiu quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? Enlighten me then.”
Shifting from foot to foot, Shen Yuan doesn’t meet his gaze. “This one is quite sure the mushroom is a Glistening Sandy Deceiver instead.”
Shen Qingqiu blanked; he had never heard about such a thing. How had he not heard about something like that before? “What the fuck is a Glistening Sandy Deceiver?”
“This one is glad you ask, immortal master. It looks mostly like the Sandy Ash Funnel, as you realized, but it forms a kind of spiritual bond with its victim.” Shen Yuan looked expectantly at him. Slowly, Shen Qingqiu nodded. “Its main nourishment is the spiritual energy it’s sucking out of its victims. The nasty bit is that it uses that same energy as a defence to form the same explosive properties as its desert counterpart. But there is a… way to circumvent it.”
Shen Qingqiu glowered, tightening the grip on his fan. “Don’t make me ask,” he deadpanned.
Meeting his eyes, Shen Yuan came a step closer. “Immortal master… ah, that is weird. Can I ask immortal master’s name?”
Shen Qingqiu considered just saying no. Weirdly he got the feeling that Shen Yuan would accept that and move on. That’s what convinced him, paradoxically enough. “Shen Qingqiu.”
A beat of pause. “Like the peak lord?”
“Like the peak lord.”
Shen Yuan blushed a deep red and bowed hastily. “I’m so sorry, this one doesn’t really think Peak Lord Shen is a bastard and- “
“It’s FINE, get to the point already.”
“Well… how much does Peak Lord Shen trust this simple one?”
Shen Qingqiu lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Not at all.”
“Ouch. That will complicate things then.” Shen Yuan let his gaze wander towards the closest tree line, thinking.
Shen Qingqiu was really starting to lose his patience here. “Get to the fucking point, Shen Yuan!” His outburst was accompanied by the now familiar buzz of the apparently not Sandy Ash Funnel. Shen Qingqiu dared it to go off now, that would be the tip on top of the mess that was this moment.
The Not-Funnel buzzed louder as if it accepted the challenge.
Shen Yuan interrupted hastily, his words fast as if they couldn’t come out of his mouth fast enough now that the situation was turning more dire by the moment. “Peak Lord Shen won’t like it, but right now the Glistening Sandy Deceiver is strongly connected to his emotions. Negative emotions feed it and strengthen its explosive tendencies and in turn, positive emotions keep it more docile and calm. So, while overwhelming negative emotions drive the Glistening Sandy Deceiver into defence mode and to explode sooner, a surplus of positive ones should do the opposite and allow Peak Lord Shen to safely step off it.”
Shen Yuan’s theories were sound enough. Shen Qingqiu already noticed the mushroom’s link to his emotions himself as well as his waning spiritual energy ever since he had been stuck. “Pray tell, how does master Shen know so much about this Glistening Sandy Deceiver?”
Shen Yuan grimaced. “This one once read about them in a terrible book.”
“Oh?” Well, Shen Qingqiu needed to find this book once he was out of this. And what a feeling that was! He breathed a little more lightly now that he had outside assurance – questionable as it was – that that was indeed a real possibility. Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t call it something stupid like hope, but it possibly wasn’t completely off either. “What overwhelming positive emotions did master Shen read about in his book?”
Shen Yuan turned red, stuttering, and Shen Qingqiu got an inkling of what kind of book they were talking about. “Does master Shen’s book happen to be a yellow book?” He confirms, feeling a vein throb in his temple.
Shen Yuan didn’t say anything, but his shifting gaze, firmly avoiding Shen Qingqiu, was confirmation enough. “Just so we’re clear, this master will absolutely not dual cultivate with master Shen.” Shen Qingqiu ignored Shen Yuan’s sputtering. “Of course it couldn’t even just be a damn aphrodisiac,” Shen Qingqiu murmured darkly. “Once this is all over, I will ascend, however long it takes, and I will personally fight whatever god decided to create this fucking mushroom.”
Shen Yuan snorted, face still red. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
Another contemplative silence stretched between them, the only noise the small Wild Furred Elephant-Bear running around behind some critter. The wind played with Shen Yuan’s hair, almost braiding it like it was a child who was just learning how to do it. Something about the image held Shen Qingqiu’s attention. Maybe it was the way Shen Yuan didn’t seem to even notice it, like he was above such earthly things the way Shen Qingqiu pretended to be.
Or maybe it was just the fact he was the only other person in this damn clearing Shen Qingqiu must have been stuck in for several shichen now. What should he watch instead? The trees? (Shen Qingqiu already checked – they were all harmless Tranquil Ornamental Pines.)
Shen Yuan was the one that interrupted the rather peaceful silence. “I may have a plan,” he started slowly. “I assume it may be more about trust. Someone being vulnerable and trusting the other person not to use it against them. Dual cultivation would be a short cut – not that I suggest Peak Lord Shen do that of course,” he hastily added, feeling Shen Qingqiu’s gaze dig into him. “But I think the same could possibly be achieved through – well friendship. Closeness.”
Shen Qingqiu quickly took that in. He didn’t have friends, people tended to not like him. (The jiejies didn’t count; they were family.) So, the chances of success were basically non-existent. But then again, compared to the other idea Shen Yuan had… There clearly was a smaller inconvenience there between those two choices. It wasn’t really a choice, really. “Fine. Let’s try that.”
A smile brightened Shen Yuan’s face. Were that… dimples? “Great. Let’s start with our names. Call me Shen Yuan.”
“Shen Yuan.” Shen Qingqiu tried it out. It felt weird, calling anyone so familiarly.
Shen Yuan rewarded him with another small smile. “And may this one call you Shen Qingqiu?”
“Do whatever you want.”
“Thank you, Shen Qingqiu.”
It felt even weirder to hear his name said in a neutral tone, bordering on warmth. Shen Qingqiu shivered. The jiejies at the Warm Red Pavilion never called him Qingqiu. To them he was their Jiu-er or Jiu-ge. He left Shen Qingqiu at the door when he walked through the side door of the establishment’s kitchen.
Some of his fellow peak lords called him Shen Qingqiu, when it would be more appropriate for them to call him shixiong or shidi. It wasn’t just the disrespect he associated with that name, but the disgust they said his name in. The anger, the hatred. The guilt and sadness.
Shen Qingqiu barely liked his own name, but he never knew it could sound like that.
“What do you like to do in your free time, Shen Qingqiu?”
“I don’t.”
“... Do anything fun?”
Shen Qingqiu couldn’t suppress the eyeroll, leaning back into a more comfortable position. “I don’t have free time. Believe it or not, running a peak produces a lot of work.”
“And you have to do it all by yourself?” Shen Yuan asked unbelieving. “That doesn’t sound healthy. Don’t you have people on your peak that can help you shoulder the workload?”
“The classes that can be taught by hall masters already are and the actual administrative work is mostly done by An Ding. But the more senior classes? The correspondences that require the peak lord’s attention? The research provided for the other peak lords? The missions that require my personal services? Yes, Shen Yuan, I don’t have any free time.”
He wasn’t supposed to hear the “that can’t be right”, Shen Qingqiu was sure. It didn’t seem like Shen Yuan was accusing him of lying – a new one – but like he was surprised and didn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Huh. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know how to handle that. “I quite enjoy reading and playing the guqin, whenever I have the choice,” he offered. “Some parts of my job are more pleasing than others, the most senior guqin classes among them.”
“There you go. I’m glad it isn’t all as horrible as it sounds.”
Shen Yuan was not wrong – aside from moments here and there, Shen Qingqiu did not enjoy life on Qing Jing Peak.
“What is Shen Yuan doing then?”
Shen Yuan’s eyes brightened, shining at even just the thought of the things he loved. “Travelling, mostly. I’m working on putting together my bestiary and traveling through all kinds of places.”
More to keep the conversation going than from real interest, Shen Qingqiu prompted. “What is Shen Yuan’s favourite beast he encountered?”
Shen Yuan thought the question over for a while. “I’ll go with the Three-Striped Purple Anteater-Wyrm. It’s basically a purple noodle flying around and if you can earn its trust, it’s adorably cuddly. Wait.” Shen Yuan rummaged through his qiankun pouch, until he found what he was looking for. He held out the scroll to Shen Qingqiu who took it carefully. It showed a lively image of what could only be the Three-Striped Purple Anteater-Wyrm, sketched by a skilled hand and coloured in light shades of pink and purple.
“Shen Yuan has to send over a copy to Qing Jing once his bestiary is done,” Shen Qingqiu commented. The drawings alone would be worth it, but from the way Shen Yuan talked about the beasts he encountered on his travels as well as the way the small Wild Furred Elephant-Bear behaved around him, Shen Qingqiu suspected it could be an even more valuable treasure. Possibly one of the most precious in his extensive libraries.
“Of course, of course,” Shen Yuan waved off the demand of one of the lead scholars in the jianghu, not understanding its weight. “I’ll even sign it for you, Shen Qingqiu.”
They talked for quite a while. Shen Qingqiu steered the conversation towards Shen Yuan and both the beasts and people he met during his travels. Shen Yuan was happy to take the lead. And gradually, Shen Qingqiu started to relax. Not by much, just slightly. Enough to not block every single question Shen Yuan asked about his likes or previous night hunts. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t felt this comfortable in the company of someone other than the jiejies, especially not a man, in… ever. (There was no way he was sharing that; it came too close to something he didn’t want to think about yet.)
Shen Qingqiu hid his amusement behind his fan when Shen Yuan complained running into a cultivator driving away all the Giggling Ox-Fish – very poorly named, those creatures weren’t even fish, Shen Yuan informed him extensively – in the vicinity that couldn’t be anybody but Liu Qingge. Shen Qingqiu would pay quite handsomely to see Liu Qingge’s face when he heard what Shen Yuan had to say about him, considering the other was exactly the war god’s type. (Though Shen Qingqiu doubted the brute himself was aware of that.)
Eventually, the sun started to set, painting them in dimming colours. And they were still waiting for that useless Liu Qingge to return.
Shen Yuan suggested they eat something before night fell. Sheepishly he confessed to being a horrible cook. Not that Shen Qingqiu was surprised. It would have surprised him more if Shen Yuan wasn’t living on rations whenever he wasn’t close to a town or village.
“Lucky for Shen Yuan, this master’s cooking is decent enough.”
A quick glance down to the mushroom. “How would that work? A fire so close to the Glistening Sandy Deceiver would be unwise.”
An amused smirk crinkled Shen Qingqiu’s face. “This master hopes Shen Yuan can follow instructions.” He pulled a small bag of rice and other ingredients from his emergency stash.
Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t admit to it under threat of pain, but the ensuing cooking session, while ineffective, was actually fun. He never let Shen Yuan out of his sight, carefully observing every move while he brought water to boiling and put some of the rice in, stirring every now and then. Not holding the same threat of setting off the explosive, Shen Qingqiu took out one of his smaller knifes and cut a few vegetables into perfectly equal-sized pieces to top off their meal. Maybe that was a mistake, with nobody watching over the pot (who could ever think of keeping an eye on dinner, Shen Yuan??), but nonetheless they ended up with a perfectly edible, if slightly scorched, congee.
A warm feeling embraced him, though Shen Qingqiu started to feel the creeping coldness of his dwindling spiritual energy. Well, maybe a warm meal was a good idea after all.
While Shen Yuan put out the cooking fire and quickly cleaned away the rest of their meal, Shen Qingqiu noticed his hands shaking. He held one up, watching it tremble, the hand growing heavier the longer he held it there. So, that was the minimum amount of qi he needed to suppress the old pains, a detached part of Shen Qingqiu noted down, shivering slightly in the cool breeze. Useful to know. Not that he could think of a situation he might need such knowledge.
Shen Qingqiu quickly hid his hands in his sleeves when he heard Shen Yuan come back and settle down. The baby Wild Furred Elephant-Bear soon climbed into the other man’s lap, enjoying the ear scratches Shen Yuan absentmindedly gave it.
They sat in comfortable silence for a while when the first rain drop hit Shen Qingqiu. He looked up and was met with dark storm clouds. The kind that you didn’t want to be in if you could avoid it. The kind that, depending on how bad it got, could tear whole trees down and throw them around like small twigs.
Great. Just great. Of course his luck struck again, working overtime just to immediately bring him back down. How dare he have a decent time, considering he was himself?
Shen Yuan slid closer but didn’t touch him, rummaging through his qiankun pouch. Shen Qingqiu started to suspect he met someone who at least came close to being as prepared for every eventuality as he was. “Shen Qingqiu should conserve his spiritual energy. If Shen Qingqiu doesn’t mind,” Shen Yuan found what he was looking for, pulling out an umbrella. “We could share this.” It was a simple white paper umbrella, but it seemed to be strengthened with some talismans. Would it withhold the incoming storm? Who knew, certainly not Shen Qingqiu.
“Fine.” Even slightly less rain and wind would be better than nothing, he rationalized, now that he gradually couldn’t regulate his temperature like he usually did any more. His spiritual energy was sucked out faster and faster. It was close to torture to feel his qi disappear, now that there was so little left. It hurt.
Shen Qingqiu froze for a moment as Shen Yuan came even closer, so close Shen Qingqiu could feel the other’s body heat through the layers of their robes. But it was fine. It was just Shen Yuan. From what he had observed, he was far more likely to hurt himself than Shen Qingqiu. They were something like friends. Probably. Were they? And friends didn’t just randomly stick knives into their friends’ backs. Usually.
Another slightly wet weight settled on Shen Qingqiu’s tight before he could overthink it too much. The baby Wild Furred Elephant-Bear had laid its head down, roused from its nap by the quickly increasing rain. It, too, was probably just huddling for warmth and seeking shelter from the weather.
Carefully, Shen Qingqiu gave the small beast a pat on its head. It didn’t leave, even nuzzled a little into his touch. “Aw, somebody likes you,” Shen Yuan cooed.
Shen Qingqiu decided then and there that he would keep this small creature. His bamboo forest would be a suitable environment for it and if he raised it to not attack his disciples, who could complain? (If he also taught it to expel Yue Qingyuan or Liu Qingge whenever they set foot on his peak, that was just a bonus.)
As the rain fell and whipped the leaves and needles it plucked from the trees around them in an imitation of one of Shen Qingqiu’s signature techniques, Shen Qingqiu felt his head grow heavier. This damn mushroom with its damn spiritual energy sucking properties. He started to feel the nights he forewent sleep in the past weeks. Under normal circumstances, it would have been fine. Another night at the Warm Red Pavilion would probably have been necessary in the next weeks.
How much Shen Qingqiu yearned for normal circumstances.
“Shen Qingqiu? What do you need?” He couldn’t see him, but the worry in Shen Yuan’s voice was more than obvious. He had to look more horrible than he felt.
“This master is fine,” he tried to say, but it came out slightly slurred. He didn’t even fool himself.
“What do you need?” Shen Yuan repeated steadily.
Would withholding the information change anything? “Sleep, probably,” he gave in.
Shen Qingqiu felt Shen Yuan move beside him, could see his face now. “Then please do. Here, lean on me, so you won’t get too wet.” Shen Yuan held an arm up, an invitation, but didn’t force him closer. Didn’t make to touch him without asking.
That was what decided it for Shen Qingqiu. He leaned into the other man and felt the other’s arm go around him, holding him steady. It didn’t feel like a prison, like he might have assumed. Instead, Shen Qingqiu felt secure. Protected.
It didn’t take long for Shen Qingqiu to slip into unconsciousness.
***
Gasping, Shen Qingqiu thrashed awake, not knowing where he was and why everything hurt so much. A loud buzzing drowned out all the noise. It felt like it came directly from his skull, like it was everything. Shen Qingqiu thought he heard his name. Was it Qiu Jianlou? Had he gone too far again?
A touch on his cheek turned his head, made him look at another face. Made him flinch. Green eyes followed him, lips moving, but Shen Qingqiu didn’t hear anything. Why didn’t he hear anything?
Something cold swirled in him. His meridians were frozen. His meridians were burning. Were they even still there? Shen Qingqiu didn’t know. He didn’t know. Why was everything so loud? He curled in on himself, pressing his hands to his ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise.
A hand took one of his hands, enveloped it. Put it in something soft. His gaze followed it. Saw fur. It distracted him for a moment from the storm inside of him. The Wild Furred Elephant-Bear baby, he realized.
The nightmare began to lose its grip on him.
Now he started to make out the current of words that were still flowing around him. “Yes, well done, Qingqiu. Breathe. It’s okay. You’re okay. Just focus on the Wild Furred Elephant-Bear.” Shen Yuan was murmuring soothing nothings.
Shen Qingqiu grasped for it. Focused on the voice, the warm little Wild Furred Elephant-Bear under his touch. His breath evened out a little. The strange buzz barely quieted down, still there. The mushroom. Of fuck, that didn’t sound good. It sounded like it was close to explosion. Shen Qingqiu’s breath quickened again. He couldn’t stop it.
When Shen Yuan grabbed his hand again, he didn’t flinch away, still aware enough to know the touch was safe. “Qingqiu. Breathe. Qingqiu, do you trust me?”
Shen Qingqiu tried to think about the question. He really tried. But the buzzing drowned out his thoughts. Gods, he was so tired.
Shen Yuan’s grip tightened insistently. “I need an answer, please. Do you trust me?” The hint of desperation in his voice was poorly hidden. Did he even try?
Shen Qingqiu stopped trying to think and just followed his instincts. He nodded, the movement barely perceptible but clearly there.
“Thank you.” The whisper hung between them and then Shen Yuan was there, close, so very close.
His lips pressed against Shen Qingqiu’s, soft and careful, sending small, pleasant bolts through his body where there had just been only pain. It brought Shen Qingqiu to attention at once, fully aware. Shen Yuan was kissing him. That was happening. He should stop it, push him away.
Shen Qingqiu lifted his arms and pulled the other man closer, kissing him back and hoping Shen Yuan didn’t notice how clumsy he felt, still weak and inexperienced as he was. But Shen Qingqiu was determined to pretend until he gained the confidence. He didn’t want to leave this moment of warm and safe and Shen Yuan everywhere. It was so much better than he could have ever dreamed, if he ever dared to dream of someone he wanted close to him, who wanted him as well.
Their lips parted and Shen Qingqiu leaned his forehead against Shen Yuan’s, eyes closed, not wanting to leave the moment just yet. He felt the other’s warm breath on his lips, still sensitive from the kiss they just shared. What if it wasn’t real? If he just hallucinated the kiss, the closeness? Or if it was the Glistening Sandy Deceiver somehow? Shen Qingqiu didn’t think he could take it. Not now that he felt so opened up, like one wrong move was enough to crush him.
A soft exhale against his lips, before Shen Yuan whispered. “Qingqiu? How are you feeling?”
His mind clearing, Shen Qingqiu did a quick scan. The panic attack – he realized now that was what it was – had passed, broken through with Shen Yuan’s help. His meridians felt… low on energy, but surprisingly fine? He dug deeper. How…?
Shen Qingqiu looked down at his leg. His leg that was no longer stuck on the energy sucking mushroom it had been stuck on all day. “Did you know that would work?” He asked immediately, just to think better of it. “Of course Shen Yuan knew. That’s why he asked if this one trusted him.” The realization sat heavy in his stomach.
“I had my suspicions. But…” Shen Yuan took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you in that situation. The Glistening Sandy Deceiver was about to set off and I panicked. I thought we had more time and could properly work up to something that might work. And that I could at least ask for your consent, if nothing else worked.” Shen Yuan closed his eyes, pained. “I totally understand if you hate me now.”
That threw Shen Qingqiu. He blinked, but no, the words didn’t make any more sense. “I don’t hate you, Shen Yuan. I…” No, he couldn’t say it out loud that his feelings towards Shen Yuan were the complete opposite. That the problem was how he felt too much for a stupid, ridiculously kind man he hadn’t even known for a day, but that he was already dreading to separate from.
Something of the words stuck in his throat had to be written on his face. (Where had his fan ended up anyways? That was exactly why he carried it around!) Shen Yuan’s eyes brightened with warmth. “Yeah, me too.” He leaned closer, laying his head on Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder. “That was nice. Not what I thought it would be, but really, really nice.”
“Oh? Where this one’s skills so great Shen Yuan forgot how to speak at least somewhat eloquently?”
Shen Yuan choked on a laugh, pushing at him without any force. “Shut up.”
After a few moments of silence, Shen Qingqiu broke it, leaning his head against Shen Yuan’s hair. “At some point you have to tell me about this wise yellow book that has information not even found in the most obscure books of the Qing Jing libraries.”
“Absolutely not.”