Chapter Text
Berlin- June 24th, 1866
The Austro-Prussian war was ten days along. Prussia had allied with the Kingdom of Italy and led the rest of the German Confederation into war against the Austrians, with an imminent victory on the horizon. The Prussian forces had both numbers and organization on their side, and the war would draw to a close in only three more weeks. Despite the short duration of the war, losses already numbered in the tens of thousands on both sides, in part due to the oppressive summer heat. By the end of the war, losses numbered in the hundreds of thousands, many of those due to disease.
Dinner was a tense affair on Ludwig’s part. Gilbert prattled on about the latest drama on the front, none of which was of particular interest to Ludwig. Not when the ending of the evening had imminent consequences.
When he had finished with his kielbasa, Gilbert folded his napkin into the shape of a swan and rose from the table. Ludwig stared at the napkin with some apprehension. It did not bode well, in his opinion. It was difficult to convince Gilbert of anything when he was more in a mood for ‘japes’, as he preferred to call them.
“Not going to give me a goodbye?” Gilbert asked, already moving towards the door. This made sense, he had only agreed to visit for dinner. Ludwig’s wards would want to put him to bed soon. It seemed slightly ridiculous to him, seeing as he only looked twelve. Gilbert had been allowed to do many things at twelve that an actual child should not have been permitted to do, and he couldn’t see why it should be any different for him.
His brother and cousins insisted that a proper childhood could only benefit him, in the end. Ludwig did not know how much clearer he could make it that he did not want a proper childhood. He either wanted to be taken with when Gilbert left or to be stayed with. All things considered, he thought he was being rather flexible with his expectations.
There was little he could say to make Gilbert stay, and he was well aware that if he expressed concern outright he would likely be brushed off. For a fleeting moment, he wished he had Feliciano’s ability to make his feelings on a matter apparent, but then he was reminded of all of the times his friend had burst into tears at the slightest provocation and revised his wish. Perhaps just his ability to make his older brothers go along with his whims.
In the end, that was all this was. Gilbert was strong, a single lost battle couldn’t extinguish the Prussian spirit. That didn’t ease the fear in his heart, no matter how thoroughly the national advisers tried to reassure him.
“I’m coming.” He slid off of his chair, running to catch up with Gilbert in the entrance hall. His boots had been left by the door, and he began to lace them up.
Ludwig hesitated for a moment before deciding he had to say his piece. “Be careful.”
His brother grinned at him. When he was sitting to tie his boots they were around the same height. “Why, are you worried?”
Ludwig’s brow furrowed. He had thought that was obvious. He nodded.
For some reason, Gilbert laughed. “Don’t be. We’re going to win.”
“I know.” He could not stop his clasped hands from fidgeting. Again, he wished they were the sort of brothers who held onto each other. Perhaps that would be enough to make Gilbert stay.
Gilbert’s face softened, and he leaned forwards to place a hand on Ludwig’s shoulder. “I can see why you’re worried, baby brother. I am the sort of captain to go down with his ship, and that would bode poorly for the union.”
Ludwig glared. He could not tell whether Gilbert was being purposefully obstinate. “You are neither a captain nor a ship. You are my brother.”
This, bafflingly enough, prompted another laugh. “That I am. And perhaps not a very good one, if you’re so starved for company that mine is sufficient.”
The hand on his shoulder tightened, somewhat reassuringly. “I can have one of our cousins visit you, if you like. Would that be satisfactory?”
He fought to bite back the instinctual frustrated noise that tried to escape him. Usually Gilbert was the best at interpreting his pauses and succinct sentences, but tonight it felt as though he could convey hardly a quarter of what he felt.
Ludwig could not figure out how to arrange his words in a way that make Gilbert understand. He didn’t want just any company, he wanted his brother. He wanted him here, because here he was safe and Ludwig didn’t have to worry.
He could not say any of that, because it was childish. At twelve, he was too old for childish things.
“You are sure I cannot accompany you?” He asked, just for the sake of certainty.
Gilbert made a face that Ludwig couldn’t identify. “I’m sure. The war front is no place for a child. It’s safer for you to be here, even if it is…” He paused, casting his eyes towards the ceiling as he thought. “Isolating.”
“Alright.” He responded, leaning slightly into the hand that came to ruffle his hair. “You can send one of our cousins. Not Brandenburg. He’ll make me play cribbage with him and pretend to lose.”
Gilbert grinned at him, and Ludwig responded with a small smile of his own, slightly forced. He wished he could at least tell his brother that he loved him dearly without the words threatening to choke him.
He wondered if Gilbert felt the same. Though his brother was louder and perhaps brasher, he similarly spoke infrequently of emotional matters. Ludwig was almost sure that this did not mean that he didn’t have internal turmoil of his own.
His brother hesitated in the doorway, turning back for a moment with a softer, more fond smile. “You’re growing up very well.” He said, before turning the rest of the way and closing the door behind him.