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The night was quiet, save for the sound of waves lapping against the Merry. After the stressful day the crew had had at Little Garden, it was hardly a surprise that, following dinner, everyone had retired for the night—save Sanji who was on watch and Luffy who was finishing his last snack of the night.
Zoro had been the first to head to bed, his legs aching fiercely from where they had been cut—or, more accurately, from where he had cut them. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t his brightest moment, trying to cut his own feet off to escape from the weird wax cake. But, at the time, it had seemed like the only way out, the only way to try and save both Nami and Vivi. Something he had failed terribly at.
Biting back a small groan, Zoro rolled in his hammock, trying to get comfortable. The bandages that had been hastily wrapped around the wounds itched against his skin and every press to the gashes sent pain through him. It felt impossible to find a position to lay in that didn’t aggravate the wounds in some way.
Still wide awake, Zoro turned his head at the sound of the door to the men’s dormitory opening, a familiar figure in a straw hat slipping in. Soft steps padded across the wooden floor, stopping in front of Zoro as a hand tentatively reached out, brushing against his shoulder.
“Zoro?” Luffy said softly, still not very good at the whole ‘whispering’ thing.
Reaching out, Zoro caught the hand on his shoulder, fingers tangling together. “Finally done eating?”
A nod was his answer before the other was climbing into the hammock, his rubbery limbs splaying out across Zoro’s body. A stray foot collided with one of Zoro’s injuries as he settled, causing him to hiss in pain.
“Oops, sorry, Zoro,” Luffy said, moving the offending limb away. “I didn’t mean to kick you.”
“It’s fine,” Zoro grunted, the hand Luffy wasn’t holding gripping tightly onto the edge of the hammock as he did his best to ignore the pain.
When Nami had hurriedly stitched and patched him up before leaving Little Garden, she had told him that it was likely he had cut all the way to the bone. She was too nauseous at the sight of the injury to really look at it too closely and had hurried to stitch it up and then wrap it to avoid vomiting at the sight. With the pain that spiked with every movement Zoro’s ankles made, he could very well believe the cut went to the bone. Though he could still move them thankfully so he hadn’t cut the tendons.
“How is Zoro?” Luffy asked once he was comfortably settled atop Zoro, his arms wrapping beneath his broad shoulders. “Nami said the cuts were really deep.”
“I’m fine.”
Sitting up a bit, a frown appeared on Luffy’s face, just barely illuminated by the weak moonlight. His dark eyes almost seemed to glisten in the little light available, concern predominating them. Teeth just barely appeared from his lips, gnawing on the bottom one as he stared down at Zoro beneath him.
“Zoro is not fine.”
“I will be.”
A sharp exhale left Luffy, the hand that still held Zoro’s tightening its grip. “Zoro.”
Zoro knew that tone well. It was the captain tone; the tone that demanded to be listened to and obeyed. The tone of the man who would someday be king.
“It’s just a few cuts. They’ll heal in no time.”
“You tried to cut your own feet off, Zoro.”
Guess I can’t be too surprised that someone told him what I did, Zoro thought with a small sigh. It had really seemed like a great idea at the time. And Zoro was going to continue to maintain that had he been successful, he would have been able to take care of those Baroque Works bastards with no problem.
Luffy apparently took Zoro’s silence as an invitation to continue speaking. “Why did you do that? Why did you hurt yourself?”
“It’s not like I wanted to,” Zoro muttered, releasing his grip on the hammock when he realized the material was still clenched in his fist. “There just wasn’t any other way out of that stupid wax thing.”
“You could have waited for me, Sanji, or Usopp to show up. You don’t have to do everything you know.”
A small snort left Zoro before he could stop it, the sound loud in the quiet night. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the rest of the crew to help out—Usopp had been pretty instrumental in freeing them from their prison—it just wasn’t in Zoro’s nature to rely on others for help. All his life the only person he could solidly rely on was himself, others often falling short or simply leaving him hanging. Not to mention, he was who the crew relied on, who Luffy relied on. He couldn’t wait for other people. Not when his crewmate’s lives were on the line.
“Zoro.” The serious tone was back as Luffy’s free hand cupped Zoro’s chin, forcing his gaze upwards to meet Luffy’s. Even in the darkness Zoro could see the worried look on Luffy’s face, distress shining from his eyes as his gaze took him in.
“Nami and Vivi were relying on me,” Zoro finally said after a long minute of silence, his gaze still locked with his captain’s. “They told us that both you and Usopp had been taken care of and none of us knew where Sanji was. It didn’t seem like a great time to wait around and hope someone was going to appear and rescue us.”
Dark eyes continued to stare down at Zoro, silently taking in his words. After several long minutes Luffy sighed, his hand moving to cup Zoro’s cheek instead. Long fingers thrummed against his cheekbone as Luffy thought, his head tilting ever so slightly.
“I don’t like it when Zoro gets hurt.”
A pang went through Zoro’s heart at the words. He didn’t want to cause pain to his captain, it was the last thing he wanted to do. They both knew that sometimes in fights they were going to get hurt, it was inevitable. And while the injuries to Zoro’s ankles had occurred because of a fight, they were injuries he had inflicted onto himself. Because he was too weak to get out of that wax prison, his swing too weak to cut through the material that held him. Zoro needed to get stronger. He needed to be strong enough to cut through anything no matter the angle or momentum he had. He couldn’t let something like this happen again.
“Zoro.”
The sound of his name brought Zoro’s attention back to the present, Luffy’s face now hovering a few inches from his own. Concern bled from him, worry for Zoro seeping from his very being. A state Zoro didn’t like to see him in.
“I’m sorry,” Zoro said, using his free hand to run a thumb across Luffy’s cheekbone before cupping his cheek, mirroring the position the other had done to him. “It just—it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“It seemed like a good idea to try and cut your own feet off.” There was no emotion in Luffy’s voice as he spoke, his face impassive. Zoro knew him too well though to think that he was unaffected. The flatness of his tone was more akin to a deadpan, a silent disbelief. And yeah, he wasn’t wrong. Trying to cut his own feet off was definitely not one of Zoro’s finer moments.
Shaking his head slightly, Luffy tugged their joined hands over until they rested on Zoro’s chest. Reaching up, he caught Zoro’s other hand from his cheek and brought it down to join the others, their fingers entangling on that one too. “Zoro is stupid.”
As much as Zoro wanted to protest, Luffy wasn’t wrong—at least, in this scenario he wasn’t. It had been a really stupid thing to do.
“Zoro isn’t allowed to do something like this again,” Luffy continued, hands still clasped tightly to Zoro’s. “He’d better think of a different way to get out of a situation like that.”
“Of course, captain.” Zoro himself wasn’t looking for a repeat of what had happened today. Most pain he could ignore or work through, even the cut to his chest he had forced his way through. But these cuts were almost excruciating. They pulled and rubbed angrily with every step he took and seeped blood continuously, as if to remind him with every motion of his failure, of how he wasn’t strong enough to protect his crew.
“Zoro thinks too much.” Luffy’s voice once again cut into Zoro’s thoughts, pulling his attention back up to him. Even without speaking, Luffy knew his mind as well as his own. He knew Zoro would blame himself for the situation they had been in and would view it as his fault for not being able to free the others. “He’s perfect the way he is.”
Affection overshadowed the self-loathing Zoro had felt, its warmth spreading through his chest. Luffy, ever so inelegant with words, still always seemed to know exactly what Zoro needed to hear.
“Zoro is so strong.” The words were punctuated with a firm poke to his bicep, one of Luffy’s hands finally leaving Zoro’s to do so. “So brave. So dependable.”
“Luffy....” Part of Zoro still wanted to protest, to remind his captain that he had failed to keep Nami and Vivi safe. That he had let himself get captured and had been helpless to do anything about it.
“The best swordsman,” Luffy continued as if Zoro hadn’t spoken. “The most fierce fighter. The best first mate.” He paused, a grin stretching across his face. “And the best boyfriend.”
Heat flared across Zoro’s cheeks, red blooming in its wake. “Luffy.”
“My perfect swordsman,” Luffy finally finished, leaning down to lightly brush their lips against each other. “So strong and so perfect in every way.”
Grumbling under his breath, Zoro used his free hand to wrap it around the back of Luffy’s neck and pull him down for an actual kiss, their lips crashing against each other. They remained that way for several minutes, their mouths moving together in a surprisingly gentle kiss.
Finally pulling upwards, Luffy stopped Zoro with a finger to his lips, the digit stroking absentmindedly across them. “You’re perfect the way you are, Zoro,” he reminded him, his smile the small, more intimate one Zoro always loved. “I love that you always want to get stronger and be better, but you have to remember, not everything that goes wrong is your fault. Getting stuck in that wax wasn’t because you were weak, even that giant got stuck in it and couldn’t move.”
“I should have—“
The finger pressed more insistently against Zoro’s lips, cutting him off. “No. Zoro did what he could and more. I will never look down on a crew member for being unable to do something. Even I can’t do everything. That’s why we’re a crew. When one of us falters or needs help there’s others who can step in. Others who can do what needs to be done.”
Luffy pulled his finger away from Zoro’s mouth, combing it gently through his hair instead. “Nakama always helps each other out. You did what you could and me and Usopp took care of the rest. And then, when Usopp needed help, you were there to help him.”
Guilt still tugged at Zoro’s mind, but Luffy’s words had eased most of it. He still wanted to get stronger, strong enough to cut any substance no matter the angle he had, but he could at least let this situation go. In the end, they had all made it through with only a few scratches and burns to show for it. And sure, it had been close, really close after all, but they were all alive. So maybe, for now, Zoro could let it go. He could forget about the whispering in his head that said he wasn’t strong enough and focus on improving in the future—for everyone, not just to satisfy his negative self thoughts.
“Never do that again, though,” Luffy added, his fingers pausing for a second in his hair. “Zoro needs all of his body to become the world’s greatest swordsman.”
“Of course, captain,” Zoro agreed, giving the hand in his a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll be strong enough so that if something like this does happen again I can cut our way out of it.”
The smile on Luffy’s face grew as Zoro spoke, his eyes lighting up just the tiniest bit in the darkness of the dormitory. “Of course he will. Zoro is the best after all.”
Smiling back at him, Zoro gently tugged him downwards. He pressed a quick kiss to his lips before situating him against his chest. Drowsiness had been creeping into the edges of Zoro’s brain, reminding him that it was late and he was exhausted after their long day. With Luffy’s warm weight above him it was hard to hold it off, especially now that his chest felt lighter and free of guilt.
“I love you,” Luffy said around a yawn as he made himself comfortable against Zoro’s chest, careful not to bump his injured ankles again. “Mm, my Zoro. My perfect swordsman.”
Feeling the blush return, Zoro managed to say, “I love you too”, even as Luffy’s breathing evened out and he fell quickly into sleep.
Only Luffy knew how to ease the worry in Zoro’s mind, to gently pull out the guilt and replace it with affection. He always knew when Zoro—his Zoro—needed him; and he always came to him during that need, soothing away any doubts he had until Zoro could remember how loved and cherished he was.
And while the ache in his ankles was sure to not be going away any time soon, Zoro could feel himself slipping into sleep, his mind calm. He had done what he could and his nakama had done what he couldn’t. It was hard to accept that he couldn’t do everything, that there were times he was going to have to rely on the others, but Luffy was there to ease that pain, to make it easier. His captain relied on all of them, it wouldn’t hurt for Zoro to occasionally do the same.