Chapter Text
Bugs POV
“Ladies and gentlemen! With you tonight is the illustrious, supernatural, barely fathomable, the one the only, Bugs Bunny! Magician of the century!”
The stage alights with fireworks and smoke as the curtain is pulled. The same routine, the same script, the same pause for the audience’s gasps and applause, and yet- the great bugs bunny just can't seem to get tired of the faces of adoration in the crowd.
Something about performing just runs in his blood, in his creation. You couldn’t tear him from the stage if you had dynamite, a crowbar, or yelled fire. This was his domain.
And he never disappoints.
With a bow and a tilt of his white sparkling hat, dozens of doves emerge from the vanilla silk interior and soar past the mesmerized crowd and out the balcony from the casino’s lavish banquet hall.
He grins charmingly as feathers cascade around him savoring the people’s applause and yells of excitement.
“I am honored to welcome you all to the Warner Brothers Casino.” Bugs puffs his chest in pride. “You couldn’t find a better casino even if you traveled the whole globe.” He chuckles with the audience as he starts shuffling a deck of cards that came from seemingly nowhere.
“Believe it or not folks, I have something special planned for you today.” Bugs chatters through a microphone, circling the stage so he properly addresses the entire audience.
“That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! For one day only, Bugs Bunny, New York’s finest, will spend the day with one lucky person attending the casino here today as a celebration and thanks to our sponsors on Warner Brothers 101 anniversary!” The same assistant that did his introduction spoke up again for him from the edge of the stage.
Bugs thumps his left foot slightly peeved that the assistant interrupted him and is on the stage when he’s told him before to stay at the bottom of the stage. Whatever, he’ll complain to the Warner brothers next time he sees them and get a new assistant by saturday.
He munches on a carrot noisily as he waits for the assistant to finish his five minutes of fame. Honestly, there's nothing worse than an ambitious chump that can’t follow instructions.
“So not only will your whole day’s expenses be taken care of by the casino but you can take Bugs Bunny anywhere for the day! Staying in the casino is recommended but not required. There’s also the mention of what is restricted-” While the assistant finishes giving out the details about the surprise, Bugs Bunny takes this opportunity to scan the crowd and see if he recognizes anyone.
Below him, he recognizes some of the staff. Mostly, human staff that have worked at Warner Bros Casino(WBC) for over decades such as Darla, an esteemed employee who’s never gotten on Bugs’s nerves since her arrival 36 years ago (though her looks sure helped with that), and who was currently busy sweeping up broken glass near the bar.
On the other side of the banquet hall was Kevin, who arrived at the casino 27 years ago and works as the lifeguard. (Although, between you and me, he’s not in any shape to go diving with the way he gives that dessert bar more attention than his last marriage nowadays…)
There was only one toon, in the crowd below him, and that was Lola Bunny. Who was currently preoccupied with passing out drinks from a vintage silver tray that appeared to contain pink whitney and pina coladas. Although it was hard to tell for sure from the distance.
…
Originally, Lola was written as a tune into existence solely to be his romantic interest.
The casino, at the time, wanted a way to retaliate against their rival company’s mice couple to win over an audience of young adults. However, they failed. For whatever reason, Lola and Bugs just couldn’t seem to click.
“It’s like tryna have a conversation with a rampaging arena bull!” Bugs remembers his words of complaint to the writers while caressing his arm from where Lola struck it in their first encounter.
“Whaddya say?! Ya lousy jackass!” Lola leaped through the air in an attempt to strangle him but was quickly restrained by her developers and dragged away to be repainted.
As she went kicking and screaming he still remembers what she yelled back to him.
“Ya ever stopped to think why the bull wouldn’t wanna talk with ya?!”
…
Bugs looks down at the Lola in front of him right now. They gave up trying to write her into a toon that could love him ages ago but still…the amount of repaints and personality changes she went through leaves Bugs feeling guilty deep down everytime he lets himself think about it when he sees her.
They tried everything when trying to get her suitable enough to be his partner. The developers were relentless in their mission to make an arrangement between them work.
They tore out her will to fight, her strength, her screaming.
Each time they’d bring her in to meet with him something new was taken out. He could see it in her eyes, how they would get duller each meeting, less responsive… more like a doll’s eyes. It sent a shiver all the way down his spine and to the tip of his tail and then all the way back up to his ears.
Repaints aren’t exactly a walk in the park. No toon willingly goes out of their way to get one. The higher ups try to sell it as a way to get the toon more popularity though, so we deal with it like a human would a dentist appointment.
Lola’s repaints though? They never sat right with him. So he always makes sure his performance is never lackluster. If the audience loves him, then there’s no need to get a repaint. Ever.
He was lucky that during that whole trial and error with Lola he only got one repaint and it was just a slight altering in his design.
That wasn’t the case with Lola.
They ripped out her whole sense of self and tried taping in what they wanted her to be. It’s no wonder she is the way she is now. A complete airhead who doesn’t understand anything that is happening in the moment and a complete failure in the eyes of the Warner brothers.
Although Bugs is relieved that he isn’t in Lola’s shoes, he can’t help but feel responsible for how she turned out. Perhaps if he wasn’t so spoiled and arrogant in their first meeting and just put in more effort to get along with Lola, then there wouldn’t have been any need to repaint her.
Or maybe it’s because he knew that no matter how many repaints they did on Lola they’re plan was never going to work.. because he knew the entire time, it was never Lola that had something “wrong” with them..
.
.
.
“Uh.. Mr. Bunny?”
“Helloo?”
“Hm?” Bugs blinked out of his inner flashback to realize he zoned out on stage of all places!! How embarrassing.. ugh. His mind supplied for him uselessly. Crap. He didn’t listen to a single word his assistant was saying for the past five minutes.
He could feel his face grow flush as he stammered trying to bounce back from this one. He could feel the crowd’s eyes on him and for once he was thankful that the assistant started speaking again.
“Are your ears starting to fail you? I asked if you’re ready to begin the auction, Toon.” The assistant chuckled mockingly.
Alright I take back my thank you. Screw this guy. I’m so going to get his rear end fired come tomorrow. Bugs scoffed and tapped his foot on the ground again in a quick motion.
In an instant, the lights darkened and the screen above the stage that was previously filming Bugs Bunny during his show switched to a beige background with a t-chart that had nothing on it but 0$ listed.
Huh. What’s the money sign for? Bugs thought in his head as he looked up at the screen. Wait. Did he say auction??
The assistant out of nowhere rips off the plain gray robe he was wearing to reveal a charcoal vest and matching pants before pulling on a matching fedora and walking to the center of the stage. Definitively, making Bugs side step a few paces away.
Tch. I gotta hand it to him, I’ve never had an assistant with the nerve to shove me to the side of a stage until now. Especially one that’s only been around for two weeks. What was this guy’s name again? Rango? Santiago? About to be fired? Yeah. That one sounds about right. Wait a minute, isn’t there something I’m supposed to be focusing on instead right now?
“Alright, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time to begin the auction! The person with the highest bid gets the day with yours truly!” About to be fired boasts as he waves one arm in my direction, his hand doing a dismissive flick as a spotlight enlightens and temporarily blinds me.
An auction… I must be zoning out more than usual. I don't remember being debriefed on this. No that’s not it..
Bugs grits his teeth as his foot starts thumping the ground again. Assholes. They must’ve known I’d never agree to it. Selling me off to the highest bidder like a common animal. The nerve. As if I’m not already the highest profiter in this entire damn casino.
“ Let’s start the bidding at.. oh I don’t know.. one hundred thousand..?” Absolutely fired announces in a carefree voice.
The audience starts murmuring excitedly.
Bugs just sighs internally. I’m going to murder whoever’s idea this was like a 60’s wife who just discovered her husband cheating. More things are starting to make sense now. Like this suit I was told to wear today. Bugs looks down at his outfit, only to be momentarily blinded again because of how reflective the piece is in the spotlight.
Shimmering white and tiny crystals stared back up at him. Imagine his expression when the piece was delivered to his suite this morning with a note that simply read “wear it during your performance today.”
He assumed it was because it was the date of the anniversary of the Warner Brother’s founding but was it actually to make a bigger impression so one of these heavy spenders would pull more money out of their wallet??
All I hope for is that it isn't some insane fanatic of mine that wins this auction. If someone like that does win I swear Sam and Jack I will feign sickness till you lose twice the money for the days I won't perform than what you will earn in this idiotic auction.
“I hear 250k with number 55 over here!”
Bugs looks over to where number 55’s sign went up and makes eye contact with a burlish man with salt and pepper hair.
Bugs blinks for a sec thinking, okay maybe this won’t be so b-
But before he can finish his train of thought the man smiles with all his teeth revealing rotting yellow and holds up a literal shocking collar.
Bugs almost faints that very moment.
“Oh! I hear 300k over here! Nope wait 350- nvm 400k over here!” Roasted comments in rapidfire speed as if he was an auctioneer in his past life.
“I have 500k over here wow! To the madam in red, number 39” Bugs looks over to the lady silently praying that she’s normal.
They make eye contact and the lady smiles, her teeth, he sighs in relief, are white. Okay, so maybe it won’t be the most exciting day out but at least- nope.
He spoke too soon.
Scanning the rest of number 39 he spots a gun holster on her waist. And while all weapons are removed from guests before entering WBC, he can’t say he feels too comfortable knowing he’ll be out and about with a stranger who carries a gun wherever they go.
Bugs looks directly up at the spotlight now.
It’s no use.
I’m going to die today.
He sniffles dramatically as he lets the spotlight blind his eyes so he won’t have to see his purchaser.
I don’t even have my will updated…
“And SOLD to number 27 at 1.5 million!” Smoked exclaims through the microphone.
“Wait- huh?” Bugs looks back down and towards the crowd as his curiosity got the better of him but his spotlight moment actually worked and all he can see is colorful spots everywhere.
“Thank you everyone for participating on this joyous afternoon! I hope you enjoy the rest of your experience here at WBC and congratulations to lucky 27. I guess it's true what they say about ducks.” Ashes chuckles before continuing, “you may claim your prize after we ensure a deposit is made sir, right this way.”
“Aw screw this, I’m gettin’ a drink.” Bugs mumbles as he makes his way off stage through squinted eyes, hesitant feet, and towards the direction he can only hope is the bar.
The “over it all” rabbit slumps onto a bar stool and knocks his head into the polished wood. “Gimme a glass of eau de vie .” Bugs groans into the wood.
“Just say Brandy man! What, you expect me to learn a third language now? I’m not that verde lechuza okay?!” Speedy says from across the counter where he busies himself polishing shot glasses. “And get your face off my wood I just got it polished!” Speedy huffs as he brings a cup out faster than you can blink.
“Which one?” Speedy asks Bugs in a more nonchalant tone.
“Cognac.” Bugs answers like a toddler who just got scolded as he props his face onto his elbows and huffs out a breath of air.
As Speedy pours the drink in the icy glass he does a one over on Bugs. “I take it you don’t like auctions?” The little mouse questions as he slides the drink to Bugs’s fingertips.
Bugs raises his hands in exasperation. “How’d you feel if you were sold, huh Speedy?” Bugs bickered as he took two large gulps of his drink.
“Hey man what’s the big deal?! You’re only going for a day, you’re making the casino more money than the rest of us make in one year and you're doing it in style!” Speedy dashes around him circling the suit.
“Que guapo!” Speedy whistles as he stands on Bugs’s shoulder.
“Did the Bosses get it for you? Must’ve cost a pretty penny.” Speedy grinned as he polished a stone to find his reflection looking back.
Bugs sighed and took another swig from his brandy. “I don’t enjoy getting sold to strangers like a toy, Speedy.”
Speedy looked up at him dejected, his tail slowly drooping behind him. “You’re not a toy, Senor Bugs.” The corners of Speedy’s lips falling towards the floor.
“We may have been created for the purpose to entertain but it doesn't make us lesser than humans. We too have emotions and free will.” Speedy states seriously as he holds his paw against Bugs’s.
“If it helps, think of today as a business outing. That’s technically what it is, no?” The mouse prattled.
“Mm… I guess if you squint at it and look at it sideways yeah.” Bugs replied as he pretended to think hard about it while looking off into the distance.
“Haha! There you go!” Speedy said pleased as he did a short jump of joy.
Bugs smiled as he exhaled a breath of oxygen he wasn’t even aware he was holding through his nose. “Thanks Speedy, I can always count on you.”
“Anytime, Senor Bugs. Why’d you think they made me the bartender?” Speedy grins slyly before dashing off to who knows where faster than you can ask why.
Bugs makes a slight hum sound before finishing off his cognac, the liquid leaving a light burning sensation in the back of his throat.
“Bugs! Hey! Whatcha doin right here silly?” He feels somebody collide against his back as lean arms wrap around him, subsequently tightening his chest and therefore suffocating him momentarily.
The pressure is off of him as quick as it came and he leans forward gasping for air. “Lola… would it kill ya to not do that each time you see me?” Bugs complains as he rubs his chest.
“Oh c’mon you love my hugs, Bun-Bun! You said so yourself that one time remember?” Lola chirps as she sits on the stool right next to him.
“Anyways, isn’t this exciting? You never mentioned you were going on a date today? You haven’t done that in forever.” She giggles, as she brings her elbows up and rests her chin in her hands before crossing her legs.
Bugs sighs, “First off all, I was drunk when I told you that so it doesn't count.” He feels his face heat up slightly at the reminder. One night, a couple years ago, all the toons got together at night to celebrate his birthday and after drinking more than he can handle, he blurted that out to Lola in front of everyone in the party. The surprised look on Lola’s face as she just blinked back down at him slumped in her arms while gasps enveloped the room almost sobbered him up from embarrassment right there.
The truth is he’d been drinking that night from pent up anxiety of another year coming and going, an existential crisis, and really, a sinking feeling of loneliness, that he had been secretly and extremely grateful for Lola’s spur of the moment hugs whenever she spotted him. Some days and even weeks, that’d be the only physical interaction he’d have with anyone.
He rolls the rim of his glass against the counter as he turns to give her a deadpanned look, “second of all, stop keeping track of when I last stopped sleeping around, geez, it's not a big deal.” Lola snaps her head off to the side pretending to not know what he means, whistling as he points a finger at her.
“And third of all, I’m not goin on a date! It's a mandatory… business, meetin… or something.” Bugs fizzes out at the end because honestly, he hasn’t convinced himself yet that’s what this is. It’s better than saying it’s someone renting him out like a used car though that’s for sure.
“Rightt..” Lola replies, this time it’s her turn to give him a deadpan stare. “You okay Bugs? You don’t seem like yourself today.”
Bugs blinks at her. “What do ya mean doc?”
“Hm.. well it’s just, I mean, ya zoned out on stage! You’ve never done that before, I mean like, ever!” Lola leans forward until their noses are almost touching. “Maybe you're comin’ down with somethin’?” She says squinting up at him perplexed as her nose twitches.”
“No, I feel fine. And don't sniff me to figure that out!” Bugs yells as he pushes her face away with his gloved hand.
“Ow! Well then why'd you zone out?!” Lola huffs as she gingerly holds her nose. “I mean, if I was wearing something as fancy as you on stage I'd never stop posing for the cameras!” Lola comments as she moves her hands and face at a few angles to demonstrate. “You have to tell me who tailored it for you!” She gushes, grabbing his arm to examine the white crystals closer.
“Dunno. The Warner Brothers just left it at my door so I can be a better show pony during today's auction.” Bugs lets out bitterly as he lets Lola examine the suit sleeve.
Lola sighs as she runs her fingers over the crystals. “Must be Swarovski crystals too. Ugh, you're so lucky!” She squeezes his hand in hers, “you think you can convince them to get me a dress like this?”
“Er.. I dunno Lola.. y'know they don't like us asking too many favors of them…” Bugs says scratching the back of his head with his other hand.
“Pleaseeee Bugs? They'll say yeah if you ask them!” Lola gives him her best puppy eyes before they widen with an idea. “I'll let you borrow it from time to time?” She bats her lashes at him hopefully.
“Deal.” Bugs says instantly convinced. They shake hands grinning like idiots at their masterplan.
“Yayy!” Lola shouts spinning in her chair with her hands in the air.
Bugs grins at Lola's antics. “I'll ask them when I have lunch with them this Satur-.”
“Hey Bugs! The hell you run off for?! The purchase was made 20 minutes ago! The 24 hours starts immediately after that! I've been looking for you everywhere like a damn pet sitter!”
Bugs turns to find the same pestering assistant from earlier in the auction yelling at him.
Him? Was he yelling at him? No, he must've heard him incorrectly. No one in their right mind has ever yelled at Bugs Bunny before. Especially not some damn unknown assistant.
It could be the alcohol in his system finally kicking in or just that fact that he's already overlooked this man's blatant and barely obscured disrespect towards him way too much already, but Bugs's tail was just stepped on.
And he'll be damned if he doesn't say anything about it.
Bugs doesn't speak for a moment as he turns back to his glass and tilts the cup back and forth with one finger.
“Say… what's your name kid?” Bugs tilts his head in the guy's direction but keeps his focus on the glass in front of him.
“...It's Diego. What did your memory rot away already?” He hears him scoff. “Just, hop like the damn rabbit you are and get going to your owner for the day already.”
Glass shards go flying everywhere. Diego stands frozen as red drips down the right side of his cheek.
“Bugs!” Lola stands up and holds his shoulder to stop him from going further.
“Careful! You'll cut your feet with all the glass on the floor!” Lola stresses but Bugs isn't listening.
Mainly, he's upset he missed and ended up hitting the pillar right behind the assistant instead of his face. He feels his nose twitching rapidly, his teeth bared in such a vicious display you'd think he'd gone rapid and fists clenched as he stares at the stunned man in front of him.
He feels eyes on him at this point and takes a deep breath. Right. Calm down, there's people around.
Sitting back down on the bar stool he leans over the counter and grabs another cup and pours himself a new drink.
“Listen, Diego… I'm no longer feeling well today. So go give the man who paid his money back. I won't be going.” Bugs states as he takes a sip from his glass.
“H-hey wait a minute y'know we can't do that. There's no way we can give back that large a sum! Especially when-” Diego's voice starts behind him.
Bugs turns his chair halfway glaring at Diego with a frost bite inducing glare.
“You're useless if you can't even manage that.” He spits out.
Bugs swirls the drink in his hands before continuing, “an assistant who can't assist… wow. There really is no need for you then huh?” He props his elbow on the table.
“Listen. Bugs. We can't pay back 1.5 million dollars just because you're sensitive to being told what to do.” Diego countered as he attempted to wipe off the blood from his cheek but only resulted with him smearing it.
“Besides there's people watching! So stop being difficult and get go-”
“You got some nerve. Telling me there's people watching when you've been disrespecting me all morning. And that's Mr. Bunny to you. Only my friends can call me Bugs.”
“Bugs maybe you should-” He hears Lola blurt out from beside him but he doesn’t stop.
“I also don't give even one microscopic damn how much was paid, if i said I'm canceling the whole thing then that's what you're going to listen to!” Bugs shouts at the man so loud the entire hall could probably hear him. “So go tell whichever messed up, crazy, lunatic that “bought me,” to go shove that money up. his. ass!” He throws only the liquor from his drink at the man this time.
“Is that right?” A new voice inquires from his left.
The sound instantly makes Bugs ears go straight up. As if they recognized and felt this voice was different from the dozens of others whispering around him. Bugs turns to find a toon he’s certain he’s never seen before right where the voice spoke from.
That’s odd. A toon he doesn’t recognize? It’s not like there's many of them to begin with. And Bugs was so sure he met with everyone at least once. Even the ones that chose to leave and find work outside of the casino. Ah, maybe he’s from the rival company’s toons? Yes, that would explain things and yet, it's odd because he was sure he’d met almost all of the toons from that company as well. Or at least heard of them.
The toon in front of him was a black duck, perhaps mallard? Based on the white neckline of course. Who bore sleek and (obviously) pampered feathers that gleamed even under the dim casino lights. Lastly, he adorned a silk black tuxedo with a matching black top hat and gaiters over his sunset colored flippers.
“Hi. I'm the messed up, crazy, lunatic that ‘bought you’.” The toon moves closer and reaches out his hand grinning.
Bugs supplies his hand absently, almost instinctively, before the toon leans down and plants a delicate kiss on the top of it.
“Daffy Duck. It's my greatest pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bunny.” The toon introduces himself smiling up from where he remained bowed below Bugs.
For a long moment, Bugs could only stare down at the mysterious duck bowing before him. His eyes were the most vibrant green he had ever encountered and the longer he stared into them the more he felt as if they were trying to tell him something.
“Ehem. Cough. Cough!” Bugs snaps his head back to see Lola coughing loudly into her white gloves .
He whips his head back and forth before realizing. “Oh!” Bugs retracts his hand from the duck’s own. Next, the duck’s words register in his head. His eyes widened, “Oh! Wait, no I’m sorry I didn’t mean to insult you!” Bugs begins to ramble frantically to the duck. “Look, I’m really sorry if you’re a huge fan or what not, but I need to cancel the auction okay? An issue came up and I just can’t continue with it.”
The duck does a once over of Bugs and then leans slightly to the side to view behind him. Bugs turns his head to see the assistant, Diego, standing there still with brandy dripping down his face and clothes as he glares at the both of them.
“And what issue is that?” The duck asks him. “Everything looks fine to me.” He says with a shrug of his shoulders as if the scene in front of him was something that happened on a daily basis.
Bugs blinks at the duck. Something in his brain tells him the toon’s appearance is the only thing he’s not gonna have a problem with. Bugs thumps his left foot slightly, and he sees in the duck’s eyes follow the movement before widening slightly.
“Ya wanna know what the issue is… duck?” Bugs says as he stalks closer to the now worried toon. “The issue, is that as a toon yourself, you went ahead and purchased me like fine cattle with an insane amount of money that you obtained from Warner knows where! And you think things look fine here?” Bugs is glaring at the duck he cornered against the wall waiting for a reply. Because now that he’s thinking about things a bit clearer, this toon is exactly what he despises most. Instead of doing something about the discrimination toons face in society he decides to add to it? What- are house cats going to march to zoos and purchase the best lions for entertainment now? He thought that stinkin Diego was bad but this guy was truly despicable.
“Um..” The duck glances behind him again like he’s silently praying for someone to help him but when the looks up at Bugs and gulps, “ yeah?” he attempts as sweat drips down his forehead.
Bugs squints his eyes at him. “Take your money, and get out.” Bugs hissed as he released the duck from the corner and started stalking away.
“Hey, wait!” Bugs continues walking. “What about condition 213?” Bugs stops in his tracks and turns around.
“How do you know that?” The bunny's eyebrows furrow as he stares at the duck in confusion. Who the hell is this?
“You may have signed it a long time ago but it still counts doesn't it?” The duck grins at Bugs like he won. Ha. Well two can play at that game.
“Are you going to just spout old Merrie Motions at me and hope I comply?” Bugs grins back at the duck and crosses his arms. “Wouldn't that mean you're in violation of condition 033 then?” He tilts his head and pouts his lips mockingly, “careful duck, you wouldn't want to get repainted to be more obedient now would you?”
And he sees as how the duck winces at the subject. He feels shuffling behind him and is made aware once more that there are other people around. One of them being Lola. He winces at the realization of his words. Even if most memories of a repaint process are forgotten by the end of the process, he’s always suspected Lola might still have them buried away inside her. He feels a rock of guilt drop to the bottom of his stomach.
“Ugh. I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up…” The Duck grumbles as Bugs is brought back to the moment at hand. He scratches his head, a light bulb appearing above him a moment later.
His face morphs into the smile of that green christmas hating thing from the holiday movie that gained popularity a few years back. The duck then coughs into his fist, straightening his posture, and raising one finger before starting seriously. “I have an idea. How about we bet on this? Hm? whaddya say Bug- er, Mr. Bunny?” The toon continues, “If you beat me in any game of your choosing in this casino I will leave as you’ve asked me without the money I have already paid so there will be no complications with the higher ups and technicalities. But if I win, you go through with the auction details and spend a day with me.”
Bugs scoffs at the duck. “No way. I’m already kicking you out right now anyways, this casino isn’t desperate for your lousy million dollars pal. I make that much by myself during a slow month.” Bugs announces cockily as he turns around and begins walking away again.
“Ah. I see. Scared you're going to lose right?” And Bugs stops in his tracks for the second time in this conversation and stalks back over to the duck.
“Any game of my choosing?” Bugs queries as he leans in close enough to the duck that their breaths interlap.
…
“Any.” Daffy murmurs back without hesitation.
His eyes staring intensely into the irises of his former lover.