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The first time Mobius placed gentle fingertips against Loki’s lower back, they had been neck-deep in research in the archives for hours. Loki was bored out of his skull at the monotony of office work, but looking for patterns in variant activity at least gave him something somewhat interesting to do. He was rather good at puzzles, after all. When Loki made a connection between sightings of their wayward variant, Mobius’ eyes lit up and he placed a grateful hand upon his lower back with an awed murmur of “I never would have thought of that link, Loki. Thanks!”
Loki remembered that the touch had initially startled him and how his first instinct was to bristle at the intimacy of the casual closeness from this mortal who seemed to see through his carefully-constructed walls as easily as staring into the bottom of a still, clear pond. Part of him wanted to lash out and demand more propriety, but in the end the comfort of Mobius’ touch paired with the warmth of his positive regard and gentle praise proved too great a force to fight against.
He couldn’t quite understand how or why, but the act of Mobius’ fingertips pressing tender but assured to his lower back felt more intimate than any of the hedonistic antics of his former life despite the layers of clothing that separated them. He wanted to find more connections, make more discoveries, be more helpful – anything to invite more of Mobius’ casual closeness and sincere praise.
The touches became more and more common in occurrence the more they worked together and the deeper their friendship grew, which was why Loki shouldn’t have been shocked when Mobius cornered him away from everyone with a soft press to his spine in the middle of rushing to save the Loom for what could have been the thousandth time in another interminable time loop.
“Are you okay?” Mobius asked, his fingertips to Loki’s back effectively pinning him in place despite the gentleness of the touch.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? Other than the fact that we’re trying to keep all of existence from imploding, everything is perfectly fine!” Loki quipped with his trademark wit and sarcasm, eager to slip away from Mobius’ knowing gaze and keep trudging toward a solution.
Mobius wasn’t deterred, though. He pressed on. “I know the stakes are high, Loki, but you’re running yourself into the ground. You’re wound so tightly you’re practically vibrating out of your skin. Something else is going on.” He paused and looked at Loki with that discerning look that always left him feeling flayed open and vulnerable. “Not to mention your sudden grasp of quantum physics is pretty damn weird. You’re going to have to explain to me sometime about why I never saw any sign of these particular scholarly pursuits in all of my years studying you.”
Loki wanted to protect Mobius from the horrors of the reality of their situation but knew he didn’t possess the strength to withstand Mobius’ efforts when he’d made up his mind to go after something.
“I’m timeslipping again.”
Mobius’ eyes grew huge. “What?! But I thought we fixed that? Are you okay?”
Loki couldn’t help but crack a small smile. He didn’t think he would ever become immune to being on the receiving end of Mobius’ kindness. “Yes, yes. I’m fine. We did fix it. But I can control it now. I’ve been having to timeslip voluntarily to restart our efforts because we keep failing. I keep failing.”
Mobius’ eyebrows scrunched in confusion until a look of sick realization crossed his face. “Loki…how many times have you tried to fix the loom?”
“It doesn’t matter…”
“It does matter, Loki! Fuck!” He scrubbed an exasperated hand down his face. “You’ve been in some nightmare cycle for gods knows how long. And I didn’t even realize it ‘til now?” The silence stretched between them for a few beats. “How many times, Loki?”
Loki looked down at the floor. “Hundreds? Thousands? I don’t know. I sort of…lost count after a while. I just keep failing, Mobius. I keep trying to learn more and be faster and better and change the variables but nothing ever works.”
Mobius grimaced like the reality of what Loki was going through physically pained him. “That sounds awful.”
Loki shook his head, unwilling to accept Mobius’ sympathy. “I’m a god, I should have been able to figure this out by now.”
“That’s bullshit, Loki. You’re trying to fix time. Time. God or not, that’s a tall order.” He reached out and cupped Loki’s elbow. “You must be exhausted.”
Loki closed his eyes and let the warmth of Mobius’ touch bloom through him. He was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to sneak away to Mobius’ apartment and have a nap on his couch. But he couldn’t. There simply wasn’t enough time. There never was.
The silence stretched between them until Loki finally whispered, “You’ll forget this in the next loop.”
Mobius’ face fell before he set it in a look of pure determination. “Maybe. But you come find me each time, you hear me? Every time.” He thought with a pang of Loki’s description of his initial timeslipping back to a previous version of himself who didn’t know Loki (was it possible that such a version of himself ever existed? It seemed incomprehensible now.) It sounded like Loki was in control of where in time he rewound himself to now, though. “As long as you keep looping back to this same point, there isn’t a version of me that won’t want to be there for you and give you what you need.” He reached up and brushed away a tear that had escaped and traced the path of it along the curve of Loki’s cheekbone. Instead of pulling back, he leaned forward and brought their foreheads together. “Trust me.”
A sob passed Loki’s lips in the shape of Mobius’ name, and Mobius slid his hand in a soft arc up Loki’s cheek, into his hair, and then back down to land once more in the small of Loki’s back.
Loki basked for a few breaths in Mobius’ calming orbit before he noticed the uneasy prickle of the hairs at the back of his neck. He lifted his head from where it rested against Mobius’ and made a startled, wounded sound when he realized the edges of the room were beginning to come apart in eerie, thin strands. He had failed. He hadn’t been clever enough. He had been too slow. Again.
Mobius of course noticed the shift in Loki and almost turned his own head to see what Loki was staring at in horror before he thought better of it. “It’s happening again, isn’t it?” he said with a soft smile and confidence he didn’t really feel.
Eyes shining with fear, Loki’s frantic gaze met Mobius’ and he gave a jerky nod.
“It’s gonna be okay. You just come find me again and we’ll keep doing this. You can control your timeslipping now and we’re in the TVA. Between the two we’ve got nothing but time here, right?”
Loki let out a hysterical bark of laughter at the absurdity of the situation, the room falling to ribbons all around them.
“Remember what I said, okay? You find me. Every. Time. I’ll be there for you. And you can do this, Loki. I believe in you.”
Loki wrapped his arms around Mobius and clung to him, relishing the feeling of the other man’s hands at his back and their hearts thumping wildly against one another. He clenched his eyes shut and allowed himself to feel nothing but Mobius’ presence for a handful of perfect moments until he sensed the light go dim around them and suddenly felt nothing at all.
He opened his eyes and was met with the unsettling nothingness of being the only thing left in existence on this extinguished timeline. He grit his teeth and steeled himself against the urge to fall to his knees in despair at the seemingly insurmountable task ahead of him.
But then he remembered what Mobius said.
“Find me.” Loki would. “Trust me.” Loki did, wholly and without reservations. He would keep trying. For Mobius. For all of his friends.
And with a deep breath, Loki squared his shoulders and prepared to send himself back to try once more to hold time together.
“Again,” he whispered.