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Since Hao has first stepped onto South Korean soil to attend a renowned international university for his undergraduate studies, his goal has always been the same: get accepted into the best Chinese graduate school for music education. His intent has never faltered, even as he makes meaningful connections on a land that doesn’t feel like his.
His parents were never a fan of the idea.
“There are incredibly exceptional universities here in China. We won’t limit you to Fujian universities, but is it really necessary to venture outside of China?”
“We just want the best for you, Haohao. Please, don’t make rash decisions. Our country is so large; surely there has to be a university with an undergraduate program that interests you?”
Their persuasion tactics never worked. When Hao willed for something, very little could stop the path toward his desires, and what he wished for was to attend one specific international university in Seoul, South Korea.
However, contrary to his parents’ misconception, Hao had thought this through. He weighed the positives and negatives, did extensive research, and consulted the advice of online Chinese internet users who had moved to South Korea for university as well.
It wasn’t a rash decision. He’s sort of offended that they would assume he would make one regarding something as important as his education—but he digresses.
“Why are you even putting in this much effort anyway?” His mother had asked exasperatedly, putting her hand to her forehead in a show of exhaustion. His father was in a similar state of annoyance beside her. “Why this university? I just don’t understand it.”
“Students who attend this school have a very good chance of getting into the particular graduate school you guys want me to go to,” Hao explained patiently. The university is also far, far away from his parents, but they don’t need to know that. “Nothing you say will make me change my mind. Either you support me, because I’ve already made my decision and replied to my acceptance letter—or you don’t and I will somehow fund this myself, even if I have to go into debt for the rest of my life.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Hao’s mother waved off, and Hao secretly breathed a sigh of relief at the time, pleased that his bluff hadn’t been called. “We’ll fund it. Just don’t disappoint us.”
Hao’s fate had been sealed then. He would journey into South Korea and work diligently to excel at school so he could attend the university of his dreams for his parents.
Not everything can proceed easily, though.
Sitting on a cushioned chair in front of his counselor, the same woman he has been terrorizing since his first day to make sure he was on the path to success, Hao can feel his heart rate speed up, agitation occurring from the bundle of nerves present in his abdomen. His fingers tighten around the metal handles of the chair, the cold of the solid material doing nothing to calm the heat of his skin in the wake of the woman’s words.
“What?”
“You have an unclear chance of getting into your dream university, Hao,” his counselor, Soyoon, sighs, repeating what she has explained for the last half an hour. She eyes him sympathetically, tone softening at his distraught state. Hao doesn’t want her pity; he just wants what he’s always wanted: to get into the graduate school of his dreams. “Not with your current extracurriculars, at least.”
“I don’t understand,” Hao frowns, leaning forward in his panicked mindset. She leans backwards slightly in response. “What did I do wrong? I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing. For the last three years, you’ve said that I was on the path to having a guaranteed spot in the university. What changed? Why is this happening right before my senior year here? There’s so much less time now.”
“I know it’s frustrating, but based on the accepted applicants this year, the standards for acceptance have gone up drastically. From what we know, no one in a similar academic situation to you got accepted this year. The bar rose to an unexpected level within a mere year.” Soyoon flips through a page on her clipboard and narrows her eyes, glancing at Hao for a quick second. “It’s… it’s going to be significantly harder getting into your dream school now.”
Hao can feel his heart crumble into pieces, the kind that is impossible to put back together and leaves cuts on the fingers that try. Everything that he has worked for in the last three years flows down the drain in an instant, wasted and useless, as a result of this abrupt change in criterion. His dream school has been his purpose, and Hao can only watch as the perfect future he had planned for himself burns into ash right in front of his eyes, the expectations of his parents scattered on the ground alongside the gray matter.
He can picture the gritted teeth of his mother, her disappointed I-told-you-so glare shining in his face, and his father’s annoyance, berating and—
“But there is something that can be done,” Soyoon interrupts his thoughts, pulling Hao away from the crushing defeat weighing his heart down. Hope flares in his gut as he looks at Soyoon eagerly, waiting for her to continue. “You can keep getting involved. You can do more.”
“That’s it?” Hao questions, tilting his head in confusion. “But I’ve already gotten involved in a lot. What else is left?”
Soyoon looks at him and smiles. “Here’s an idea. Join the university’s student council. If you’re willing to put in time for the class and out-of-class activities, that is.”
“Student council?” Hao considers her suggestion for a moment, pondering about the extracurricular. It’s not a terrible idea, but Hao doubts joining student government is anything spectacular. Anyway, he’s already joined it before. He was religiously devoted to the club in his second year, attending all the meetings and finding himself at every event to support the club. It was rather boring, if Hao is being honest.
“You’ve done it before, right?” Soyoon asks.
“I mean, yeah, but it was kind of a mundane club,” Hao shrugs, mulling over the pros and cons of the situation carefully. “I don’t know if this would be something that would make me stand out.”
“Of course, it wouldn’t,” Soyoon confirms before adding, “but on top of the other extracurriculars you’ll be juggling next year, it’ll be very impressive. So, do you want to enroll in the class? You can only enroll yourself after you win though.”
“Wait, it’s a class?” Hao is dumbfounded. He suddenly feels as though he’s missed out on a bunch of details. “Isn’t it just a club though? And what am I supposed to be winning?”
“It is a club, Hao,” Soyoon says, “but for board members of that club, it’s a class.”
“Oh.” Hao did not know that.
“I’m suggesting that you run for a board position, like vice president or treasurer—something of that sort. Just joining the club is not significant enough. By joining the board of an organization that strives to aid all of the students on campus, your application for that university will look exceptional. At least think about it, alright? The student council has already elected their president, so the election for the rest of the board positions is going to be held soon.”
“The elections for student body president and the rest of the positions are conducted separately?”
“Yes,” Soyoon replies, humor reflected in the way her eyes glimmer. “I believe it’s because the student council likes to have their new president learn the ropes from the previous president—if there is a new one, that is. Anyhow, the deadline to apply is next week. Let me know if you want to apply, okay? I’ll get an application for you.”
“Thank you,” Hao responds quietly, lost in thought.
“She wants me to run for the student council’s board,” Hao sighs into his sandwich, murmuring between bites. He speaks in his native tongue to Ricky, who glances at him, intrigued. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m already so busy, and adding student council responsibilities on top of that might kill me.”
“Give yourself a little more credit,” Ricky snorts, hand reaching over to snatch one of Hao’s carrots from his plate. He munches on them as he continues to speak. “Everything you’re planning on doing next year doesn’t remotely compare to all the extracurriculars and jobs you took up in your freshman year. In fact, I’m not even sure how you survived that schedule. But you did, and I’m sure you can handle another year of working yourself to the ground if it means you get into your dream school.”
“Gee, thanks,” Hao says. “But seriously, do you think I should run for something? What position would I even go for?”
“I am serious, Hao ge. I think you could handle it, so I don’t think it’s a bad idea to run for board. As for what position you should pursue… uh,” Ricky begins thinking out loud, “well, there’s vice president, secretary, and treasurer. President is already taken, so you’ll have to settle for something else. Hm, running for vice president might not be a bad idea.”
“Vice president?” Hao repeats, appalled. “Vice president? Do people even like me enough to vote for me for the second-highest position on board? There’s no possible way I would win! I’m not that popular, Ricky. Can we be realistic?”
“I see your point, because I would usually agree, but there’s no way you would win secretary or treasurer either. Your best bet is literally vice president,” Ricky shrugs, continuing when he sees Hao’s perplexed expression. “I don’t know if you’ve heard of them, but Kim Jiwoong and Seok Matthew are likely running for treasurer and secretary respectively in that order. Qubing told me they’re planning to campaign together as a couple. Somehow, people caught wind of that and everyone is already ready to vote for them, even though the campaigning period is far from now. I’m pretty sure Jiwoong has been in a few movies, and he’s really fucking handsome, and Matthew is well-known, too, for his friendliness. I guess that’s why, combined, they’re very popular, so I don’t really think you stand a chance. That, and I’m rooting for them as well and I don’t want to have to choose between my obligation as a friend and my heart.”
“Wow, you suck.”
“Sorry, this is just who I am. So, what position are you going to choose?”
“I don’t know,” Hao groans, feeling more confused as a result of Ricky’s ramble. He puts his head down in misery at the sympathetic, tight-lipped smile Ricky gives him. “If so many people like Jiwoong and Matthew, then running for either of their positions would just be me fighting a losing battle. I would like to keep the humiliation to a minimum, thanks. I guess my only choice is to run for vice president. Do you know of any potential candidates for the vice president position?”
“Not really,” Ricky frowns, contemplatively. “I heard Choi Yeonjun might run. Possibly Choi Soobin as well. They’re both very well-liked around campus, but I think if you run against them, you’ll have a very good chance of winning. They’re dating and they have mostly the same friends, so I’m sure their friends will vote for you to avoid inter-friend-group conflict. Hopefully.”
“And if they don’t?” Hao asks, lifting his head to meet Ricky’s gaze. “What if none of them vote for me and I gather no votes? Then, I’ll have an even slimmer chance of getting into my dream school.”
“Hao ge, just give it a chance. No matter what, the outcome is unknown, whether we’re talking about you getting elected as the vice president or you getting accepted into your dream school. I understand your concerns, I really do, but actually doing something about your predicament is better than not doing anything at all and regretting it in the end. Go acquaint yourself with the current board, the president, talk to people—just don’t give up.”
“But I don’t want to actually do someth— wait,” Hao pauses. His groan dies in his throat as he processes Ricky’s words, the cogs in his brain turning. An idea comes to him in a moment of light. “I should—Oh my God, you’re right. I should take my situation into my own hands.”
“Er, that’s what I said, yes.”
“I’m going to win that election, Ricky.” The smile on his face must freak Ricky out because Ricky stares at him as though he has grown a second head, watching Hao carefully.
“That was fast. So you’re going to run?”
“Yes, I am,” Hao nods, a plan quickly piecing together in his mind like magnets. “Who’s the student body president, by the way?”
“Oh, I think it’s Sung Hanbin. Why? Are you going to introduce yourself to him? I think Qubing has his number. Do you want me to ask him for it? That’s probably the better course of action, because I heard Hanbin is hard to meet in person. He’s apparently always busy.”
“That would be lovely, Ricky,” Hao politely responds, before his lips twitch into a secretive smile, the kind that shows itself when whatever is on one's mind is exciting. “I will be doing a whole lot more than introducing myself.”
Ricky gives him a weird look, but Hao ignores him in favor of falling into the abyss of his thoughts, exploring the possibilities of his newly formed scheme.
Meeting Sung Hanbin ends up being much easier than Ricky had claimed it would be. All Hao had to do was show up at the informational meeting being held in a lecture room for those considering participating in the election, and Sung Hanbin materialized in the same space as Hao, nodding and distributing his smiles easily at anyone who would give so much of a glance at him. He was a handsome man, dark hair framing his face, physique reliable and teeth stereotypically perfect.
Sung Hanbin, Hao thought, rolling the name around in his mouth as he observed the president interacting with the numerous passionate students in the meeting room. Hao is not one of those people as he opted to sit in the back, where the seats are elevated, in the comfort of his own privacy, deciding to play defense today and scope out his enemies. There is time to play offense, and Hao will have his fun doing so in due time. His plan is not something to be rushed.
Hanbin must be someone who is punctual because the meeting begins as soon as the clock hits one, the hour that was designated to be the beginning of the meeting. The entrance is blocked and those who are even a moment too late are pushed away from the door, unable to push past the security of the student council members. Hao is grateful for his own tendency to be early to everything.
Hanbin shushes the room when he’s ready to begin, eyes bright and enthusiastic. He looks cute, Hao thinks, drumming his fingers on the furnished table situated in front of him. Still, there’s something about him… something that is not quite right that Hao can’t put his finger on. Hao doesn’t want to make insulting assumptions about the true nature of the student body president, but he can’t deny that Hanbin’s current attitude feels… oddly superficial. The sparkle in his eyes appears shallow, his smile is too full of happiness, and the curve of lips will drop whenever Hanbin assumes no one is observing him, features displaying a rigidity that only exists in a statue.
But Hao could just be overthinking this. Suspicion casts a shadow over his heart.
“Welcome, everyone, to the informational meeting for the upcoming election! I am Sung Hanbin, your student body president—next year being my second year in a row. It is a pleasure to see all of you here,” Hanbin grins, bowing at the applause that results from his introduction. “In today’s meeting, we’ll be discussing how to apply for next year’s board, what requirements you need to have for each of the positions, and the rules you all must abide by for the campaigning period. There is much to go over, so let’s begin.”
Hanbin is a talented speaker, Hao notes, if the way he engages the crowd and talks loudly and clearly says anything. He creates a large presence for himself, and his authority shines through. When Hanbin rakes his fingers through his hair during a short pause, waiting for the information slide on the giant screen to be changed, Hao watches him intently, drinking in the sight of the man’s mannerisms. Briefly, Hao wonders how it would feel to sink down on his knees in front of Hanbin, his hand in Hao’s hair as Hao drools around fingers in his mouth—
Hao attempts to be respectful and listen to what Hanbin is saying, and he somewhat succeeds. With anything Hanbin talks about that is of note, Hao snaps to attention, jotting down notes on his phone, and with everything else that leaves Hanbin’s mouth, Hao zones out, keeping his eyes on the motion of Hanbin’s lips, tongue peeking out at times to lightly wet them. Hao imagines Hanbin’s tongue slipping through the opening between his lips, invading Hao’s mouth as they kiss, and his mood inexplicably rises, ears burning at the image his mind creates.
The meeting ends at the half hour mark with Hanbin bowing and saying, “I hope to see everyone’s applications soon.” He straightens and turns to the group of students hovering near the device that was used to project and control the slides.
As people flow out of the lecture room, murmurs drowning the space in noise, Hao slips out of his seat and walks down the steps of his aisle. The area around him is crowded, students conversing in eager voices. There is an itch under Hao’s skin as the students move along to the door, picking up an application from a stack of papers near the exit and leaving right after. Hao is different in that he diverges from the common path to where Hanbin is standing alone, his head thrown back as he downs water from the bottle in his hand. Hao eyes his Adam's apple with interest.
Hao strides forward, stopping when he stands directly in opposition to Hanbin, who lowers the bottle from his lips gently and screws the cap shut without sparing a glance at Hao. When Hanbin lifts his eyes to match Hao’s stare, Hao’s breath is stolen.
Sung Hanbin is more handsome when he is close. His eyelashes are long and pretty, complimenting the sharp gleam in his narrow eyes, and the broad outline of his shoulders nearly leads to Hao salivating. At the fading annoyance in Hanbin’s eyes, a thought enters Hao’s head: Does he look this mean in bed? Hao secretly hopes he does.
The silence hangs in the air for too long. Hanbin’s gaze shifts and a smile abruptly blooms on his face, the earlier tension vanishing in a moment. Instead, there is kindness.
“Is there something you need?” Hanbin questions.
“Yes. I’m sorry, this may be sudden, but I’m Zhang Hao. It’s nice to meet you. I’m planning on running for student body vice president,” Hao introduces, curving his lips into the pretty smile he gets the most compliments on. If everyone loves this perfunctory smile of his, then surely Hanbin must too.
Hanbin’s smile inexplicably drops, eyes half-lidded and heavy, the weight of his stare causing tendrils of heat to curl in Hao’s abdomen. It’s weird, Hao thinks, that he feels so much like prey in front of Hanbin’s observant gaze when he’s the one that approached Hanbin with a purpose. His eyes travel down Hao’s figure contemplatively.
“Oh,” Hanbin finally says, his smile gradually resurfacing on his lips. The contour of his cheeks lift, the fog of indifference fades from his features, and yet, Hanbin looks distant, faraway, like he’s thinking. Hao hates it. He wants Hanbin’s sole attention on him. “And?”
“It’s my first time applying for a board,” Hao starts, curling his shoulders in to convey a demure, helpless impression. Hanbin watches him without allowing for his smile to melt away, eyes dark and difficult to read. “This is all very new for me. I feel inexperienced, so I was hoping you, Hanbin-ssi, could help me gain some experience.”
Hao is lying. He has more experience than the average university student. He has been president of multiple clubs spanning over the course of both high school and university; he has joined and actively participated in numerous organizations, both in and out of school; and Hao has juggled all of this with the hefty workload his professors choose to assign. He is more than capable of submitting an application by himself, but for his plan to roll into action, Hao has to be dishonest about this.
“Oh, yeah?” Hanbin lifts an eyebrow, and somehow Hao feels as though he’s being taunted. “And how would I assist in that, Hao-ssi?”
Adrenaline flows through his blood in a heartbeat, rushing and gathering Hao’s courage enough for him to take a step forward, right into Hanbin’s personal space. Hanbin’s facial expression does not change. If anything, there is the barest hint of amusement lining his lips.
“Help me do my application,” Hao smiles. Hanbin’s faux grin begins to falter, and a rush of victory moves right to his head and makes Hao dizzy with satisfaction.
“What?” Hanbin tilts his head in question, leaning in to supposedly hear better. His breath lingers near the lobe of Hao’s ear, fanning the curls of baby hair underneath. “You want me to help you? But I’m not sure if that would be fair to the other candidates, especially because we aren’t familiar with each other. Maybe you should ask someone els—”
“I want you.”
“You want me or you want my help?” Hanbin mocks him. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but heat pulls at Hao’s insides at the mirth in the other’s face, teasing. He’s never been one to enjoy being degraded in the sheets, but Hao thinks if Hanbin was the man to do it, Hao would do worse than just let him get away with it. “Be specific, Hao-ssi.”
I want you, Hao almost says, wanting to let his intentions slip and allow Hanbin to have his way with him—not only because of the student council position that Hao desires but because he desires Hanbin as well—but he doesn’t make any commentary of the sort, swallowing the bile in throat along with the words on his tongue. Hao doesn’t miss the motion of Hanbin’s dark eyes, glimmering and tracking the movement.
“I want your help,” Hao corrects himself, forcing the words out.
“I see,” Hanbin pauses, watching Hao intently. Strands of hair fall over his forehead—he looks handsome. A tight sensation in his gut has Hao breathing in through his nose, careful to not alert Hanbin of his affected condition. “You want your president’s help? Okay, I’ll help you, Hao-ssi.”
“Really?” His voice becomes airy and sweet, meant to entice Hanbin, and Hao isn’t sure if it works because Hanbin’s face is frozen solid into a friendly smile and cold eyes. Fluttering his eyelashes, Hao walks forward, crowding Hanbin’s space. “You would really do that for me?”
Hanbin doesn’t attempt to move away, instead meeting Hao’s approach with an eased attitude. “Of course. I’m the president, after all. What kind of president would I be if I didn’t help around when help is needed?”
“You’re so kind. Thank you, Hanbin-ssi,” Hao flatters him, bowing low enough for Hanbin’s chin to barely graze his hair whorl. “Then, can I have your number? We need to keep in contact for this to work.” Hao chooses not to mention how he already has Hanbin’s number. Thank you, Gyuvin .
Hanbin pulls out his phone. He scrolls through it and asks Hao to put in his number, and when Hao does, Hanbin shoots him a text and asks Hao to check if he received it. Hao opens his phone, happy to greeted with:
sung hanbin
Hey, this is Hanbin.
Hao smiles, deciding to be daring.
me
hi bin!
Hanbin’s surprised expression makes it worth it.
“Save me as Hao hyung,” Hao adds, backing up as Hanbin’s eyes fly from his phone screen to Hao’s figure. “I’ll take my leave now. Bye, Bin-ah.”
Hao swears he hears, “Bye, Hao hyung,” but he can’t be very sure, too busy stuck on the high of their interaction as he turns his back on Hanbin, giddiness creating a spring in Hao’s step.
13:08
me
hey ricky
remember how i asked you to send me sung hanbin’s number
ricky
oh right
what about it?
didn’t qubing send it to you? don’t tell me he forgot
me
nope he sent it
don’t worry
i just wanted to ask for another favor
could you ask gyuvin to get something else for me instead?
ricky
???
yea sure
yknow u could just text gyub instead of me for this right
me
instead of his number, could you find out his schedule and send it to me?
ricky
what the fuck
me
sorry i know it’s an outlandish request
i just need to know for something
and i didnt want to directly ask gyuvin bc he’s close with hanbin
he’ll be more willing if you ask
ricky
i mean… i can try getting the info from qubing
he’s gonna think ur weird
me
that’s okay
just make sure to tell gyuvin to not let hanbin find out
this has to stay between me, you, and gyuvin
promise?
ricky
ok now ur freaking me out a little
15:54
ricky
schedule-sung-hanbin.png
here you go
me
gyuvin works fast
thank you so much ricky
and tell gyuvin that i said thank you to him too
ricky
ofc hao hyung
whatever you’re up to, me and qubing are rooting for you
me
thank you guys <3
The next time Hao bumps into Hanbin, it is a complete accident.
Hao enters the library during a lull, when the entrance is not teeming with people wanting to snag a table and study. He’s here with the simple purpose of finding a textbook for one of the classes he’s taking, because Hao is not willing to spend a heinous amount of money on a textbook he will only pick up once in his life. (It has happened before.)
Dropping his belongings onto an empty, seemingly unoccupied table, Hao walks to a nearby bookshelf, a variety of literature finding home next to each other with a few collecting dust. He drags his finger across the spine of the books, scanning the name of the authors until he reaches the person he was looking for. The title of the textbook eventually pops up within Hao’s search, and he grins victoriously as he tugs it out of its tight spot on the crowded bookrack.
However, when the textbook falls from its previous spot to Hao’s arms, Hao unexpectedly stumbles as a result of the weight of the item, hands full and unable to grab anything to keep himself upright. Hao’s breath is cut short as he realizes in a split second that he is going to fall, and worse, he will land on the sturdy bookshelf behind him, and he really does not want to get a concussion right now, not when he has so much to do and accomplish in so little time—
His panic is interrupted as his back meets a firm and warm (and large, Hao’s mind whispers) hand that stops his potentially catastrophic fall from happening, keeping him balanced enough for him to regain stability on his feet. Hao breathes in through his nose once he finds balance, the adrenaline rushing through his blood slowing its pursuit and leaving Hao dizzy in its wake. Hao takes another breath.
“Sorry about that. I didn’t—”
“Hao-ssi?”
Hao pauses. “Bin-ah?”
Hanbin looks as handsome as he was the last time Hao saw him, with his forehead somewhat exposed and a few strands falling over it. His eyes are serious but beautiful, glimmering in the lighting of the library, and—oh!—his hand is still on Hao’s back, traveling to his waist instead and cupping the skin exposed there with a squeeze. His shirt rode up during the ordeal, Hao realizes, but in lieu of shaking off Hanbin’s hand and stepping back to fix his shirt, Hao leans forward as much as he possibly can with the heavy textbook in his hands.
“So you’re my prince charming?” Hao asks with a tilt of his head, widening his eyes to imitate innocence, and Hanbin seems to consider his expression, the contemplation plain as day on his face. Hao isn’t fazed. “I didn’t expect to see you here, Hanbin-ssi.”
At this, Hanbin’s lips twitch. “What? No more ‘Bin-ah’?”
“I can call you Bin if that’s what you prefer,” Hao smiles, though it’s becoming strained the longer he holds the textbook. Why is a single book so heavy anyway? He notes that Hanbin has ignored his previous request for him to refer to Hao as hyung from their first meeting. So, to drive his point home: “And you can call me whatever you’d like as well.”
“Is calling you princess an option, too?” The thumb on the open flesh of Hao’s stomach begins gently rubbing circles, provoking butterflies to become active in the cage hidden by his skin. “I’m your prince charming, after all.”
“Oh—!” Hao gasps unintentionally when Hanbin’s thumb digs into the soft shell of his abdomen, a spark of pain caused by the sharpness of Hanbin’s carefully maneuvered blunt nail resulting in him letting out a sound of sensuality. The textbook in his arms becomes harder to hold. “I—Princess is fine.”
“I see,” Hanbin says, voice colored with boredom and disinterest, but his eyes flicker to Hao’s lips. The dichotomy is noticeably disrespectful but Hao… likes it.
For a second, Hao thinks Hanbin will pull him closer to kiss him senseless, their heavy breaths clouding the air between them and charging the atmosphere with heat, but Hanbin merely runs his thumb down Hao’s stomach once more and lets go of his body. Even before Hanbin’s arrival, Hao did not feel as though the library was excessively warm or cold, but with Hanbin, the erupting blazing heat on his skin makes him dizzy. Without him, Hao feels freezing cold, even as Hanbin continues to stand nearby.
“Let me get that for you,” Hanbin states, less of a suggestion and more of a command. Hao is confused by what Hanbin is referring to until the younger’s hands grab the book out of Hao’s arms, relieving him of the uncomfortable pressure on his forearms. “You’re so weak that you can’t even carry a textbook without looking like you’re struggling?”
Hao knows that he would have handled the textbook fine without Hanbin. He’s not as weak as not being able to carry a mere textbook to a library table, like Hanbin thinks he might not have the ability to do, but if there’s one thing Hao likes, it is to be pampered. So he plays the role. “That’s my prince charming’s job.”
“Your prince charming?” Hanbin huffs, amused, finally cracking an expression that is less solemn than earlier. “I guess that must be me.”
“You? I have a long list of prince charmings, Bin. You’ve only just joined the line,” Hao teases, striding past Hanbin to go to where his table is, but his limb is taken into Hanbin’s grasp and hauled backward until his back is perfectly pressed against Hanbin’s frontside.
“Is that how good princesses talk to their suitors?” Hanbin asks, the intimate words tickling both his ear and his heart. Hao feels warmth press against the skin of his jaw, rendering Hao immobile. “Or do I have to teach you a lesson about being well-behaved?”
Hao has a retort on the tip of his tongue, unwilling to allow Hanbin the upperhand, but Hanbin releases his grip on Hao’s arm, moving back to give Hao space.
“Shall we go?” Hanbin smiles kindly, a stark contrast to the intense person from before. Hao briefly wonders if he has imagined the previous Hanbin.
The said man does not give Hao a moment to regain his composure. He walks away from Hao to the table where Hao left his belongings, and Hao scrambles after him to not be left behind.
Seeing Hanbin go to his table, Hao assumes Hanbin will drop the book on the table and leave Hao be, and while he does enact the first step of Hao’s assumption, Hanbin does not leave and instead pulls out a chair to sit on. At Hao’s perplexed gaze, Hanbin explains, “I was sitting at this table before you came. I left to grab another book. When I came back, you were dropping your things on here and going somewhere, so I followed you to say hi.”
“Oh,” Hao says dumbly. He looks down at the furnished surface of the table, his textbook scattered alongside his phone and snacks, and realizes that he has no reason to stay here anymore. He’s gotten what he initially came here for and he has no obligation to accompany Hanbin. Despite that, Hao just wants to— “Can I stay? Here with you, that is.”
“Did I ask you to leave? Sit down,” Hanbin raises his eyebrows questioningly, gesturing to the seat next to him. Relief floods through Hao in waves. “Besides, now is a good time to get started on that application of yours.”
“Right,” Hao agrees, settling down next to Hanbin and scooting his chair closer so their knees touch. Whipping out his laptop, Hao opens a fresh document to type up his application on. “Where do we begin?”
Hanbin is surprisingly earnest about explaining the application to Hao, losing his ambiguity to friendliness, and while the change in attitude certainly aids in Hao’s learning experience, Hao is bored to death. He knows how to fill out an application; he’s just here to get closer to Hanbin, and Hanbin doesn’t seem to understand the message. He continues to talk about the application, and when Hao tries to redirect the conversation to something more interesting, he ends up being shut down, quick and easy.
“Bin-ah, what’s your majo—”
“Focus, Hao-ssi.”
Hao yawns. It seems like they’re going to be here for a while.
“That’s it?” Gyuvin frowns, lounging on Ricky’s bed with the latter in his arms, bundled up in Gyuvin’s hoodie. Hao sits on his own bed across from the duo with Yujin, sharing a pointed glare with the youngest. Some habits never die. “He just gave you some ideas and tips for your application and you just left?”
“Uhm, yeah?” Hao rolls his eyes. “What else was I supposed to do? The conversation was over.”
“Honestly, this is a bit weird. You seem pretty invested in him, hyung,” Ricky says suspiciously, squinting his eyes at Hao. “You’re never this… I don’t know—obsessed with people. What are you up to?”
“Obviously I’m going to seduce Hanbin so he chooses me as his vice president and I have a guaranteed position. I’m not relying on the election to get that win.”
Hao is not joking, but the others laugh anyway. Yujin leans on Hao in his fit of laughter. When Hao doesn’t crack a smile, the giggles reside with uncertainty and awkward silence ensues.
“You’re not kidding, are you?” Ricky breaks the tension hanging in the air, exasperation painted on his face.
“No. I’m taking this into my own hands instead of waiting for it to be decided.”
“Wait,” Ricky looks horrified, “did I influence you to do this? Based on our last conversation?”
“Oh, God,” Yujin groans, burying his head into his hands. “This can’t be real. You’re delusional, Hao hyung.”
“This is a terrible idea,” Ricky adds.
“You don’t even have another excuse to talk to him,” Gyuvin points out. “And I don’t think Hanbin hyung is the type to lose his morals over love.”
Hao smiles and reaches out to ruffle Yujin’s hair affectionately, meeting Gyuvin’s eyes with a determined glint. “Just watch me.”
The words of his friends fuel Hao’s determination, and days later, Hao finds himself entering the administrative building where the classroom of the student council is located, the space the board gathers at and uses as a meeting room to discuss topics concerning the student body—where Hao knows he’ll find Hanbin.
Pushing the door open gently, Hao peeks his head in, scanning the room for the familiar head of black hair he knows and is beginning to admire. When he fails to find it, disappointment swoops in his stomach, expectations plummeting directly into the abyss of his mind, until rigid fingers find his hips and tug him backwards.
Hao already knows who he’ll see before he whips his head to look at the person. “Bin,” he whispers breathlessly, and his heart sings as his eyes roam the figure of his president, who somehow becomes more attractive the more Hao sees him.
“Hao-ssi,” Hanbin greets, gently pulling Hao closer to him. He seems to have a moment of clarity, because he suddenly releases his grasp on Hao, having no change in outer appearance. Hanbin keeps himself collected, Hao notes. “Did my princess come to see me?”
Heat rushes south in an instant, draining Hao’s head of its much needed blood and hardening the very obvious thing between his legs. It’s almost pathetic how easy Hao is for Hanbin, whose usage of the pet name alongside the rude grin that stretches his lips makes Hao want. He wants Hanbin, he wants those teeth playing with his lips, he wants Hanbin’s cock inside of him—
“No,” Hao chokes out, turning his head away from Hanbin petulantly. “I need help with my application.”
“Ah, right, my helpless, dumb vice president. Can’t do anything without my help, can you?” Hanbin says, casually, unknowing that Hao has taken his words and placed an entirely different meaning to them. Hao feels crazy enough to suck Hanbin off in this hallway right here, in front of the unknowing students littering the area. He wonders if Hanbin would let him, if he would disagree because he doesn’t want to share the sight of Hao useless at the hand of Hanbin with anyone else.
Hanbin pushes Hao inside of the meeting room, handling Hao with care. “Alright. Ask away.”
“Uhm,” Hao stumbles, jittery as he speaks. Hanbin enters the room right after him, shutting the door gently.
“Well?” Hanbin raises his eyebrows questioningly, prodding Hao to ask his question. He leans back on the cabinet behind him, arms crossing in front of his chest, where they flex in Hao’s direct view. They look strong, Hao thinks, with taut veins peeking through the shell of his skin. Hao has squeeze his legs together to hide the physical evidence of his train of thought. “What’s your question?”
There it is, that condescending tone of his. It irks Hao, the way Hanbin talks to him as though he is beneath him. He stands in front of Hao, tall and proud, arrogant and handsome, and Hao wants to sink his teeth into his bicep and let Hanbin demonstrate what other cockiness he has to his name. He is not nearly as irritating as he is beautiful, and Hao’s curiosity is piqued—does Hanbin feel as good on his skin as his voice sounds to Hao’s ears?
“I forgot,” Hao stupidly blurts out without thinking, cheeks reddening at his blunder. That’s a lie. He didn’t have a question to begin with, but there’s no need to say that and let Hanbin think he’s more idiotic than he already thinks. There is a faint trace of a smile on Hanbin’s lips, hinting at his hidden amusement.
Hanbin’s eyes flicker. “That’s okay,” he says kindly, walking over from the cabinet he was leaning on, passing the large oval table meant to accommodate numerous people for meetings, to the desk Hao stands next to. “I’ll help you remember. Show me your application.”
Ignoring the butterflies in his stomach at their proximity, Hao hands the copy of his application that he printed out solely for this occasion over to Hanbin, who flips through the pages with speed. As he checks Hao’s papers, Hanbin takes a seat on the brown, beat-up swivel chair of what Hao assumed to be the principal’s desk, the woman that volunteered to be the organization’s advisor when it was created. However, the pictures decorating the surface of the desk cause Hao to question that belief.
“Is that you?” Hao asks curiously, pointing at a framed photo of Hanbin in a suit—a classic school picture if Hao’s ever seen one.
In the frame, Hanbin is sporting a blinding smile, whisker dimples on display, a prominent dip in his cheeks. His cheekbones were highlighted with a rosy flush to them, and Hao despises the fact his stomach flips at the boyish glint in Hanbin’s eyes, so playful that Hao almost thinks he’s imagining it. He rubs his eyes to make sure he’s not seeing illusions of Hanbin now, and he isn’t, much to his surprise.
He wonders why Hanbin would keep a photograph of himself on his desk. He really doesn’t seem like the type to do so.
Perhaps reading his mind, Hanbin sighs, drawing Hao’s attention. “Yes, that’s me. When I won the election, the advisor had me take a portrait and printed it to put on my desk. She said it’s tradition for the presidents to have a picture of themselves on their desk during the time of their reign.”
“I like it,” Hao confesses, reaching out to drag his fingers against the glass. They glide smoothly because of the slight moisture on his fingertips. “It’s cute.”
“Cute?” Hanbin grins, not looking very cute anymore as he leans back on his chair. “That’s ironic coming from you, Hao-ssi.”
Is he… flirting with me?
Hao is surprised to say the least. He didn’t actually think Hanbin would show an interest in him so soon after his plan was created—hell, he thought it would take a few more days at minimum.
Hanbin practically hands the opportunity to him.
“Please, let’s drop the honorifics,” Hao smiles, leaning forward onto the table. He notes happily that Hanbin’s eyes dart to where he’s bent over. “I’ve already asked you to call me hyung, haven't I? No need to be unfamiliar when we’ll be working closely together in the future.”
“Hyung,” Hanbin rolls the name on his tongue, sounding it out sensually. “Hao hyung.”
“Bin,” Hao repeats, slyly. He leans his hip against the edge of the wooden desk.
Hanbin is incredibly handsome, Hao realizes. He’s always known that since the first time he’d seen him, but it is especially highlighted in this moment, where the light from the nearby window glows on Hanbin’s sharp edges. He’s watching Hao with eyes that he can’t read, and it only serves to excite Hao even more, fanning the billowing urges in his stomach that Hao can’t bring himself to feel bad about.
It’s as if a lightbulb goes off in his head at this moment, flashing in a eureka moment. Hanbin is looking at him, tension is flaring between them, and the suspense in the air gives Hao the perfect (read: selfish) idea to try and see if he can accomplish his plan.
Despite the potential consequences, Hao masks his nervousness. “I have my question.”
Hanbin doesn’t answer him, but the curve of his lips is knowing. It sends an electrical current down the length of Hao’s spine, communicating a message Hao has no idea how to interpret.
With all the confidence Hao can muster, he asks, playing ignorant, “Bin-ah… could you teach me my future vice president duties?”
Silence stretches between them. There are a million fireworks ready to take flight inside of Hao, and waiting for Hanbin’s reaction somehow feels dangerous under his indifferent watch.
He’s not even sure if Hanbin understood what he was hinting at. What if he doesn’t want Hao? What if Hao just ends up embarrassing himself? What if he—
“Which ones?” Hanbin asks, showing nothing on his face.
“My duties as your vice president,” Hao beams. The tightness of the room is getting to him, influencing him to become increasingly shameless. “My duties to you. Teach me everything you want in your future vice president.”
“So you want an advantage,” Hanbin concludes. “I guess I can give you a tip.”
Hao sees the opportunity, dangled right in front of him. How is he supposed to not take it? “Preferably your tip?”
Hanbin blinks.
“Hyung might really be a lost cause without Bin’s help,” Hao eggs him on, bottom lip curling petulantly. “I’m sure I can be a better vice president if you help me, Bin-ah.”
Carefully, Hanbin meets Hao’s tilted head with a coy smile. “Oh…” Hanbin taps his chin, feigning contemplativeness. “You’re so confident that the position will be yours. But, hyung, are you sure? The tasks are quite strenuous. I’m not sure if you can handle it… especially if you’re a first-timer.”
“But, as long as I have your help,” Hao bats his eyelashes innocently, “I’ll be fine, no? You won’t throw your hyung to the wolves, right?”
Usually, the trick works—fluttering his eyelashes, pouting his lips, acting cute. Men fall over in their haste to admire him when he plays the role of an alluring seductress, and he hopes Hanbin will, too—that it will be the final strand pulled that will bring Hanbin and him together like the ends of oppositely charged magnets.
True to his assumption, something about his response charges the atmosphere and lights Hanbin’s air on fire, his aura changing in the snap of a finger.
“Get on your knees, hyung.”
The glow of humiliation spreading to his ears and prickling uncomfortably, Hao sinks to his knees in front of Hanbin. Lifting his eyes to glance at Hao, he finds Hanbin’s stare on him, dark and heavy, watchful in a certain way that makes heat swirl in Hao’s gut. Hao can only squeeze his thighs together to create some type of friction for himself as Hanbin’s lithe yet thick digits move to unbutton his slacks. It’s maddening how Hanbin pretends to struggle, blatantly teasing Hao with his bulge that is so close, and Hao shows his petulance through a pout. Hanbin leans forward to dig his thumb into Hao’s jutted-out bottom lip. He removes his hand before Hao can take him into his mouth.
Hanbin pulls his cock out, and Hao goes slack-jawed at the sight of it. Hanbin is mouthwateringly big. Protruding veins run up and down the expanse of the half-erect length, colored an angry red from the concentrated blood underneath the surface of skin. It’s long and thick—and it’s not even fully erect yet—and when Hao reaches out to touch it with stars in his eyes, Hanbin lets him, cooing as he allows Hao to get used to the shape of his cock in his hand.
“There you go. It’s all yours,” Hanbin mocks gently, combing the same fingers through Hao’s hair in comforting waves. He’s so composed, not a single hint of fluster present in his actions, and the lack of reaction leaves Hao wanting more, particularly of Hanbin. He subconsciously inches closer to Hanbin’s leg, hoisting his hips to climb over onto Hanbin’s dress shoe.
With little regard for Hao’s small movements, Hanbin guides Hao’s hands to grip his cock harder, watching as Hao sits his own cock on Hanbin’s foot. Hao sighs as he drops his weight against the other, feeling momentarily satisfied—until the cool pressure is not enough anymore.
“More,” Hao whines, beginning to rut against Hanbin. “More, Bin—”
“Is this about you now?” Hanbin laughs, and it’s mean how he lifts Hao’s chin to meet his eyes after denying him of pleasure. “Take my dick in your mouth and do your job, hyung.”
Hao obediently opens his mouth, salivating and allowing Hanbin to insert his cock into his warm heat, and he gags when Hanbin pushes it all in at once, grabbing onto Hanbin’s legs for support. He doesn’t resist though, breathing in through his nose and attempting to get used to the pressure in the back of his throat as much as he can as Hanbin groans. His dick twitches in Hao’s mouth.
“Fuck.” He’s gritting his teeth, and Hao feels a sense of victory creep up inside of him, crawling up to his brain and turning his insides mushy. Experimentally, he sucks on Hanbin’s cock, and Hanbin’s hand jumps out to grab Hao’s hair to stabilize himself in his surprise. “Fuck, princess—”
Hao starts to drool, his spit seeping through the crack between his lips and Hanbin’s cock. It drips down his chin and onto the floor, where it pools into a little puddle, expanding the longer Hao keeps Hanbin’s cock in his mouth without moving a muscle.
“You’re so pretty, hyung,” Hanbin compliments him, voice falsely sweet. His fingers swipe at his lips, smearing the wetness. “It’s a shame I’ll have to ruin your cute face now. Tap on my thigh three times to tell me to stop.”
Hao barely registers Hanbin’s words before Hanbin is thrusting into Hao’s mouth with a quick push, spit spilling around the middle of his cock. His eyes water, his throat burns, and his scalp is pulled, and all Hao can do is moan at how good the sensations feel, knowing he is doing this with Sung Hanbin, the same person everyone refers to as innocent and says is always willing to help—the kind, golden boy of the university. Hao wonders how everyone would react if they saw the rough treatment Hanbin is giving him, rudely demanding from Hao what no one would assume Hanbin even thinks about.
“Hnnnnnngh,” Hao moans, saliva dribbling off Hanbin’s cock. Grinding against Hanbin, Hao hollows out his cheeks, breathing with difficulty as Hanbin’s hand slips from his head to his neck, holding it possessively.
“Whore,” Hanbin pants, jerking his foot upwards into Hao’s crotch and causing Hao to keel over, gasping. He chokes on Hanbin’s cock, spurting out bouts of spit, but Hanbin doesn’t pause, pulling Hao’s head back and forth, back and forth, a rhythm Hao is unable to get used to. “You’re sucking me off like a whore—hyung is so good at it—fuck—have you sucked every president’s cock before you joined their clubs?”
Only yours, Hao tries to say, but it comes out as an ineligible gargle. Hanbin thrusts right back into him, cutting his pathetic mumbling short.
“Whose cock does hyung like the best? Mine?” Hanbin caresses Hao’s neck intimately, gripping it tighter the more of his cock Hao attempts to take in his mouth. Hao can feel pressure building inside of him, becoming more prominent as Hao ruts against Hanbin pathetically, chasing for his release. “I bet my vice president lets himself be fucked by everyone, just wanting his sad hole to be filled. I wonder what everyone would say if they saw my vice president letting himself be fucked by their president.”
Hao shakes his head, droplets falling out of his eyes and onto his cheeks, feeling so humiliated but so good. His face is wet, his dick is hard, and the heat emitting from Hanbin’s cock is making him dizzy, but he wants more, so he frantically grinds and grinds, hoping Hanbin won’t command him to wait but knowing he won’t be mad if he does—in fact he’d enjoy it—oh, fuck—
A knock sounds on the door, echoing into the room and effectively halting Hanbin’s motions. Hao doesn’t get the message as quickly, hiccuping when Hanbin’s hand refrains him from bobbing his head on Hanbin’s cock.
“Pres? Are you in there?”
“Hng—”
“Shut up,” Hanbin whispers harshly, grabbing Hao by the collar and moving him to the empty area under his desk, where he is hidden from view. Anyone who enters would be able to see the desk and Hanbin, while Hao is only visible to Hanbin, who lets go of Hao’s scalp, leaving coldness and a dull throb in its wake. He takes his cock out of Hao’s mouth, a string of spit connecting the two before it becomes too thin and splits. Shoving his chair as far into the desk as he can to keep his naked lower regions hidden, though he traps Hao farther into the wall by doing so, Hanbin shouts, “Come in!”
No fucking way, Hao thinks, suddenly wanting to cry, because Hanbin cannot be such a people’s pleaser that he stopped both of them from getting their release to merely talk to someone. His hazy mind fails to acknowledge that this may be an important matter, or that it could be suspicious if Hanbin denies someone entry, laser-focused on getting revenge.
“Oh, Taerae,” Hanbin greets, slightly breathless. “What’s up?”
Hao can hear the rising joy in Hanbin’s voice, the kind that can only be stimulated if you’re talking to a loved one, and an ugly, bitter emotion turns his arousal into something devious.
“Hyung, I got the papers from the university’s cultural director like you asked. Where do you want me to leave them?” Hao hears the voice ask, a bit raspy and deep. He adjusts his position, crawling to sit against Hanbin’s leg again.
“Leave them on my desk. Right ove— fuck —”
“Hyung?! Are you oka—”
“I’m okay, I-I just stubbed my toe.”
Hao listens intently as he licks Hanbin’s cock like a lollipop, slowly restarting the motion of his hips. He sees Hanbin’s hand reach out and grab his sweaty bangs, stopping him from continuing, and to Hao, that is a win. Hanbin’s attention away from this Taerae guy is what he wanted, after all.
Still, he’s going to be a brat.
“Are you sure…? I didn’t hear you hitting anything? You look a bit red…”
Hao sucks hard, unable to move his head.
“It wasn’t a hard hit, I swear I’m fine, hngh—sorry—”
“Are you coming down with a fever? Do you want to me call Matthew hyu—”
“Taerae, I’m okay,” Hanbin interjects sharply. Taerae quiets down immediately, likely chastened, and Hao would feel bad if he didn’t already feel terrible for himself. “Sorry, I mean, I’m okay. My head just hurts, and the talking is over—oh—overstimulating me.”
“Okay, hyung, I’ll leave you alone for now. Do you have water? Drink some.”
“I will, thank you, Taerae—oh, and please lock the door on your way out. I don’t want my rest to be disturbed.”
“Of course, hyung! Feel better.”
Thankfully, Taerae leaves after that. Hao is pleased, free to move as he wishes, but Hanbin has different plans for him, rolling his chair backwards and dragging Hao by the hair as he does so.
“You slut,” Hanbin laughs, movement knocking his cock out of Hao’s mouth. A loud whine leaves Hao without him meaning to, and it only serves to make the mean glint in Hanbin’s eyes gleam brighter. “You couldn’t even wait for him to leave the room? You’re so impatient for my cock that you had to suck me off and use me to get yourself off while I was talking to him? I guess I underestimated how cockdumb you are.”
“Give it to me,” Hao demands, though the slur in his words dulls the effect. Bending forward to hold Hanbin’s tip on his tongue, Hao’s too debauched to realize the show he’s giving to Hanbin, back arched and ass on display, sweat beading his temple, proof of the exigencies of their activities on his body. He almost hangs his jaw to provoke Hanbin and say ahhhhh, but the other's cock blocks him from doing so.
“Okay,” Hanbin relents, and the victory almost feels too easy, like Hanbin let him have it. Hao is quickly proven right when Hanbin grips his hair tightly and slams his head into his crotch, his cock lathered with spit against Hao’s cheek. “Learn how to take it for yourself.”
Hao tries to move his head back and away from Hanbin’s oppressive hold, following Hanbin’s order, but he struggles. It’s frustrating, being able to slip away from Hanbin’s balls enough to graze his cock, only for Hanbin to bring him back to where he was before, to the starting line—and yet it’s so attractive, the way Hanbin manhandles him with ease, arrogantly giggling at Hao’s rather pitiable attempts.
Annoyed tears gather at Hao’s eye line. He looks up at Hanbin as best as he can, pouting. “Stop that.”
“Aw, is my princess mad?” Hanbin’s fingers loosen, caressing Hao’s hair softly. “Does he want me to stop?”
“Yes,” Hao whines, hips kickstarting its rutting when Hanbin takes on an egoistic tone. His trousers darken with color in between his legs, and it seems Hanbin notices, if his widening grin is anything to go by. “I want you—please—”
Without further egging, Hanbin guides Hao’s mouth onto his cock again, using Hao as he pleases. Hao has no complaints, growing dizzy once more with their rapid pace, and he works himself off on Hanbin’s shoe, feeling the pressure in his stomach build and build and build —
“You’re so pretty,” Hanbin heaves, repeating his compliment from earlier as his foot jumps up, catching Hao by surprise. He cries at the sudden burst of pleasure erupting in his stomach, tears falling in his moment of startle, decorating his face. Hanbin’s eyes darken at the sight, breaths coming out heavier. “That’s all I can think about, hyung. You don’t know how beautiful you are with how fucked up you look—all undone and messy and deflowered for me . You really were made to be my whore, hm?”
That is Hao’s tipping point. He’s grinding as he feels the pressure in his stomach pop in a burst, releasing his supply of white squirts and dampening his trousers significantly, and all he can do is whimper Hanbin’s name, word caught in his throat when Hanbin thrusts into him without regard for his attempt to speak. He’s lying pliant as Hanbin uses his mouth to get off, and Hao wonders at the picture he has painted—how he is hiccuping with a dick in his mouth, pants becoming soggy with cum and moist thighs rubbing against each other, and he’s still crying from the height of his orgasm.
Hanbin is groaning and gasping in the seconds that follow, when Hao is coming down from his release. His pleasure seems so intense that Hao expects Hanbin to come right then and there, but Hanbin’s eyes suddenly open and meet Hao’s gaze, and he is starting to pull his cock away from Hao’s warm mouth, though it looks like it pains him to do so—and Hao just panics.
His hands jump up to grab Hanbin’s thighs and keep him in place. Hanbin looks momentarily surprised, trying to pull out through it all, and Hao clamps his lips shut to keep Hanbin there. He shakes his head desperately, and thankfully Hanbin gets it, eyes lighting up as he shoves his cock back in.
He cracks a smile at Hao. “I should’ve known you would want to be used until the very end. Slut.”
Warm liquid coats the inside of Hao’s mouth in an instant, and Hao closes his eyes, the feeling overpowering. He diligently waits for Hanbin to stop leaking, and when his softening cock slips out of Hao’s mouth, he immediately goes to swallow it all, leaving none to waste and sticking out his tongue for Hanbin to see. Despite his efforts, Hao feels a trickle of warmth seep past his lips, catching on the corners of his mouth.
“Good girl,” Hanbin praises. He presses down on Hao’s tongue playfully, watching him with intense eyes as they both catch their breath from the strenuous nature of the last few minutes.
Hao reckons he must paint quite the picture, because Hanbin can’t stop looking at him. He feels sweaty, overheated, and there must be various types of liquids coating his face, making for a crazed sight. His hair has been dragged and shaped with insistent hands so much that his scalp is beginning to ache, and his pants are completely soaked with his ruin—and oh God, how is he going to get home? He must look beyond frenzied.
Even so, with buckets of worries to think about, all Hao can see is Hanbin’s smile, the edges of his eyes gentle and mirthful. Hanbin zips himself up and pulls Hao up onto his lap, hugging his waist and nuzzling his face into his partner’s neck. “Can we clean up in a little bit, Hao hyung? I want to stay like this for a while, please.”
Hao hangs his arms over Hanbin’s shoulders, leaning his head on the broadness of it. He’s sleepy and his eyes are drooping, so he nods his agreement, too tired to move from his position and erase the evidence of their situation.
They stay like that for a while. There’s silence until Hanbin breaks it. “Hao hyung?”
“Yes?” Hao mumbles against the expanse of Hanbin’s skin.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Hanbin asks, kissing Hao’s neck softly.
Hao pauses, sleep forgotten. “Oh, yes, I did. Did you?”
Hanbin laughs, low and melodic, the tune carrying itself into Hao’s ear with a shiver. “Of course I did. Thank you, Hao hyung. I really want you to become vice president now.”
Hanbin keeps smiling, kissing Hao on the forehead and then his lips, slow and soft, their lips melting together perfect. Hanbin holds Hao close by the back of his neck and Hao clings onto him with equal fervor, tilting his head to allow Hanbin greater access. A flurry of butterflies finds home in his stomach.
It’s only until after the kiss is over that Hao realizes he did not think of his plan to use Hanbin for the vice president position once. He doesn’t know what to do with that information, so he shuts his eyes down and loses himself to darkness.
This is for my dream school, Hao thinks. For my parents.
Hao fills out his application and turns it in a week before the official deadline. When he enters the student council classroom, a student body officer receives him and guides him to where the application should be dropped off, and he leaves as quickly as possible, not wanting to linger in an area Hanbin might be in.
It’s ironic that his original plan was to stick close to Hanbin and gain his favor, but now he is trying to avoid Hanbin like a plague.
If Hao is being honest, he is beginning to have some second thoughts about his whole plan. Initially, Hao thought his idea to seduce Hanbin into handing him the vice president position would work like a charm, and it’s embarrassing to admit, but his plan is failing—and it’s not because he can’t make Hanbin do it, but because he can’t bring himself to do that to Hanbin.
After the afternoon they spent together with Hanbin’s dick in his mouth for most of it, Hao is starting to feel bad for his intentions. Worse, he feels a bit funny when he thinks about Hanbin now, and it’s beginning to freak Hao out. There’s only so long Hao can think about Hanbin’s smile before he starts going a little crazy!
His friends are no help either. He went to Ricky for advice and the words of so-called wisdom that Ricky gave him were, “Oh, brother.”
So, yes, he’s going to be avoiding Hanbin until he sorts out this entire mess first.
It seems that life has a way of knocking down his plans, because as Hao speed-walks out of the room and down the corridor, he makes a turn that immediately sends him backpedaling, as he comes face-to-face with Hanbin. Rather, he walks in on Hanbin having a conversation with another man, a sunshine smile stuck to his lips. Hao really should get the hell out of there, but instead, hiding behind the corner, Hao shamelessly listens to their conversation.
“Ah, thank you for giving me a tour, Hanbin,” the mysterious man says, elation clearly heard in his voice. Vaguely, Hao can hear Hanbin wave him off. “I really appreciate it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Hold on… why didn’t he use honorifics? Hao feels his eyebrows twitching. Surely they’re not that close.
“Of course,” Hanbin responds politely, that same damn smile plastered on his face. “I’m always here to help. You can ask me whenever you need me.”
“Oh, really?” With horror, Hao realizes that the man is teasing his Hanbin. “Then, is it okay if we go out for lunch together? I’m really alone right now and I was hoping to meet more peo—”
Hao is properly frowning now. Is this man asking Hanbin out for lunch? Right in front of him? He wants to think that this is not real, but it is real and it is a serious hindrance to… himself. Because of the plan. Right, the plan!
If this man asks out Hanbin and Hanbin accepts, then Hao’s entire plan could go right down the drain. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want Hanbin going on a date at all ( unless it’s with me, goes unsaid). Hao has to stop this.
In lieu of his earlier conviction to evade Hanbin, Hao decides to do exactly the opposite.
“I’m sorry, but—”
“Oh—Bin! Hi!”
The sight of Hanbin and the man turning with matching puzzled expressions would be comical if Hao wasn’t so hellbent on bringing ruin to their relationship. Entering the hallway with a saccharine sweet smile, Hao stops in front of the pair, namely greeting Hanbin with familiarity and giving the mysterious man absolutely none of his attention.
“Hao…” Hanbin trails off, evidently caught off guard by Hao’s appearance, and Hao almost can’t believe the fact that Hanbin is still putting up his good boy act despite his wariness. “Hi. What are you doing here?”
“I came to drop off my application,” Hao responds cheerfully. He takes a few steps forward and leans over to peck Hanbin on the cheek in a show of domesticity. When he leans back, Hanbin’s ears are hot. “Y’know, the one you so generously helped me with.”
“Right,” Hanbin smiles, watching Hao carefully. Hao is observant enough that he notices Hanbin’s lips straining to hold their position, and he feels victorious somehow. “It’s turned in, then?”
“Yep!” Hao answers. His eyes then fall onto the man next to Hanbin, who looks rather frazzled. “Oh, I’ve never seen you around before. I’m Zhang Hao, it’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Lee Jungyeon,” the man greets, a neutral smile taking place on his lips. His eyes are guarded, almost narrow, and Hao is not stupid enough to think Jungyeon doesn’t understand Hao’s intention behind his familiar act with Hanbin. Good, he must’ve caught on. “I just transferred at the beginning of the semester, so that might be why we haven’t run into each other yet.”
“I see.” Hao nods at Jungyeon once to be polite, before giving Hanbin his full attention, eyes shining as he watches the president. “Bin-ah, are you busy now? Do you want to go get lunch with hyung?”
Hanbin opens his mouth to reply, but Jungyeon cuts in right as Hanbin is about to speak, glancing between them with widened eyes. “Hold on, are you two dating?”
“What?” Hanbin has the audacity to sound baffled. “Why would you think that?”
Hao marvels at the nerve of this guy. Just last week he had his cock shoved down Hao’s mouth, and in front of Jungyeon, he’s acting as though the possibility of them dating is outlandish.
“Don’t mind him, Jungyeon-ssi,” Hao remarks, crossing his arms and throwing Hanbin a petulant glare. “He’s just mad I wouldn’t let him fuck me last night.”
“What the—!” Jungyeon’s eyes shift between them nervously, clearly taken aback.
Hanbin is properly frowning in the next second. “Why is hyung rewriting history? You were the one begging me before.”
“Uhm…” Jungyeon looks extremely uncomfortable, shuffling away with small, cautious steps. Seeing him feel out-of-place as a result of the nature of Hao and Hanbin’s relationship gives birth to a sick, twisted whirl of satisfaction in the pit of Hao’s belly. “You know what, I think I’ll just go…”
Jungyeon bows and Hao returns the action for the sake of manners, though he wants Jungyeon out of Hanbin’s sight as soon as possible. Very hesitantly, Jungyeon pats Hanbin on the shoulder, throwing his hands up in surrender when Hao shoots him a deadly glower. He bolts down the hallway the moment Hanbin says goodbye, feet carrying him faster than Hao expected him to move. Hao is pleased at his fast escape.
Still, there are more problems to be covered. The air between Hao and Hanbin is charged with tension, shimmering beneath the surface of their interaction. Pointedly, Hao ignores the eyes that are drilling holes into the side of his head, basking in his victory against Jungyeon.
“I didn’t realize it earlier but seeing your happy face at the fact Jungyeon left, I think I’m starting to get it,” Hanbin confesses. There’s jubilation in the undercurrent of his voice, and Hao thinks it suits him, this simple amusement. He can’t help but give up on being petty and meets Hanbin’s eyes begrudgingly. “You’re jealous, aren’t you, hyung?”
“No,” Hao denies, pouting, even though Hanbin hit the nail straight on the head. He doesn’t want to lose this game between them, the same game that has been ongoing since the first moment they exchanged words, and admitting his displeasure with Jungyeon feels like a loss somehow, so he deliberately pretends to be unaware despite knowing how unbelievable his act is. “I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous of you, Bin-ah?”
“Jealous of me?” Hanbin walks forward, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he easily crowds Hao into the wall, Hao landing on the flat surface with a barely heard gasp. “You love to play dumb, don’t you?”
“It’s a genuine question,” Hao shrugs, refusing to break their intense eye contact.
“You’re jealous of Jungyeon for how close we were,” Hanbin announces like a statement rather than a question. His effortless confidence makes Hao dizzy with want, forcing him to grapple with a sudden flare of attraction. “You saw us together and instantly wanted Jungyeon to go so we would be separated. You want me all to yourself and you can’t bear the thought of me liking someone else, so you came over and blatantly lied to Jungyeon about us to drive him away. Am I right, princess?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hao tries in one last desperate attempt to gain the upper hand.
“Hyung,” Hanbin whispers, breath touching his skin like an addictive drug, terrible but so, so good, “you can try lying to me, but you’re easy to read. I know even if you don’t tell me. But I’ll still give you a chance—tell me the truth, baby.”
The pet name has an immediate effect: a shiver runs down the length of Hao’s spine, and he shudders, huffing onto Hanbin’s lips. His tongue runs dry, his bodily temperature rises exponentially, and his hands fly to grab onto Hanbin’s chest for stability, as though he is an inexperienced maiden lover—and he is not, but God, does Hanbin make him feel like one.
“Fine,” Hao snaps, irritated, deciding not to fight a losing battle. “I’m jealous, happy?”
“No,” Hanbin answers, smiling infuriatingly as he pokes and prods Hao with his words. He doesn’t seem to know where to stop—or maybe he does and continues pushing Hao anyway because he understands that Hao won’t say no. “Tell me more.”
Some odd internal urge encourages Hao to do so, and the fire in his veins does the talking for him. “I hate how close he was to you, the way he talks to you, like there’s a whole other universe for him to explore with you. I hate that he thought he could stand a chance with my Bin, when I’m right here, when you’re mine as much as I am yours. I hate him for taking your focus off me, and I hate him because you smiled at him—that fucking nobody—when I should be the only person you even look at, and—”
Lips descend onto him, halting Hao’s journey into madness, fostering a new type of insanity instead. Hanbin’s mouth is warm as he presses himself against Hao, grabbing Hao’s hips with eagerness Hao did not recognize earlier because of the overwhelming bitterness that consumed his being. That bitterness is being drained the longer Hanbin keeps close to Hao, moving his lips in a rhythmic manner and grasping the nape of Hao’s neck to keep him in place.
Hanbin has his way with him, slipping his tongue inside to reach the deepest that he can, acknowledging Hao’s pink tongue with a fervor that rivals all of his previous sexual partners. He’s never felt so desired, never like this, not when Hanbin is holding onto Hao with a tightness that leaves his knuckles white and Hao’s body sure to be bruised, a testament to their enthusiasm.
The thought that someone might walk down the corridor and witness the picture of them tangled up in each other’s arms, Hanbin’s hands a firm heat on his body, spreading the embers of their warmth as they move, sends a thrill directly to Hao’s cock. Hao squeezes the fabric of Hanbin’s shirt in his grip, holding onto the area right below his collarbone, wondering how he would look being ravished by a starving Hanbin, mouth being licked into while Hanbin’s knee gradually rises, pushing Hao’s legs open forcefully. Would they be in awe as Hanbin juts his knee against Hao, watching Hao gasp, not having expected the pressure on his groin? How would they react at seeing Hanbin have the pleasure of smiling on Hao’s lips at the sound of his whimpers, lips falling to the soft flesh of Hao’s neck?
There's a pinch in that area, and the sensation catches Hao off guard, causing him to inhale sharply. He can feel Hanbin sucking on his skin, the pressure painful but pleasant, decorating his neck with blooms of red with teeth marks scattered that will likely develop into deeply violet bruises. The idea that Hanbin is marking up him, leaving physical evidence of their lust, drives Hao crazy with need, fueling his appetite for Hanbin, and he just wants, wants, wants—
“Ah—Bin—” Hao moans, broken, tilting his chin upwards to provide Hanbin with further access. He doesn’t reprimand Hanbin for kissing regions of his neck that would be more difficult to cover up or hide from the people around him, but instead, Hao reinforces it with his whines that increase in their frequency. “More—please—”
“Shhh,” Hanbin shushes him, hot against Hao’s jaw. “There are several lecture rooms surrounding us and the student council office is only down the hallway. Be quiet if you don’t want to get caught.”
Hao barely heeds to Hanbin’s warning, biting his lip to keep his sounds silent, a few pants escaping despite his attempt. He wonders how Hanbin can be so composed, so unaffected by him, but it’s only due to his attempts to be quiet that Hao hears Hanbin’s heavy breathing, born of Hao’s thigh bumping into Hanbin’s crotch by accident, and his choked wheeze, inclining his forehead to rest on Hao’s collarbone.
He’s offered approximately two seconds to rest before Hanbin lifts his head to bite down hard where Hao’s jugular vein resides. A deafening gasp is ripped out of Hao, piercing the air with its volume, and Hao quickly forgets his resolution to be silent, allowing sounds out of his mouth easily with little regard as to how it carries down the corridor, vibrating as an echo.
Hao is sure there will be a residual mark where Hanbin bites down, his flesh throbbing with its release from between Hanbin’s teeth. A wetness covers the stinging area, Hanbin soothing the area with the dampness of his balmy tongue, and Hao sighs, partially from relief and partially from pleasant pulsation of pain. Hanbin tenderly gifts a kiss to the reddening skin, and then he picks up his head to continue his assault on Hao’s lips, rousing them to become agitated and plump.
“Mhmmngh—” Hao murmurs, struggling to breath because of Hanbin’s pursuit of closeness, but not wanting to break the contact. Hanbin leans back for a mere second, a string of spit connecting their mouths until it dissolves in mid-air, and Hao is whining the moment their lips split, even though they both need air. Hanbin surprises him by kicking his knee up and onto Hao’s cock, cutting his cry short. “Baobei—!”
“Baobei?” Hanbin repeats, his pronunciation slurred as his thumb toys with the hairs at the nape of Hao’s neck. It tickles, but that is the least of the stimulation that Hanbin is imposing on him that Hao has to worry about. “What does that mean?”
Hao does not have half a mind to reply, keeling over at Hanbin’s hand on his hip traveling to his bulge, caressing the obvious outline. In the midst of it, Hao catches the view of the tent in Hanbin’s slacks, and he is hit with the memory of Hanbin’s cock as a result, particularly its size and how Hao couldn’t fit the whole length in his mouth, not without gagging and choking obscenely. The sheer proportion of that thing really shouldn’t make Hao’s mouth water the way that it currently is, but he can’t help himself from fantasizing about mounting on Hanbin’s dick, insides aching at the vision of it touching places fingers can’t. Maybe it would hurt, how deep Hanbin’s cock would reach, and Hao can’t verbalize how badly he wants that to happen.
“C’mon, princess,” Hanbin persists, pecking Hao sweetly while his knee performs lewdly. “Tell me what it means.”
“Baby,” Hao heaves. “It means baby in Mandarin.”
“Hyung is from China then?” Hanbin questions, as though they’re having a friendly conversation and Hao is not moaning against his shoulder. “Is that why you have a foreign name?”
“I’m from China—international student—” Hao confirms while groaning. Hanbin is talking too much. If this is a test to see how much of a good boy Hao can be, he does not like it. He just wants Hanbin to kiss him senseless and stop asking so many questions about his heritage. Their conversation can wait.
Hanbin is not as eager to drop the topic. “Call me that again.”
“Call you—hmmngh, Bin—”
“No,” Hanbin shakes his head, slipping his hand under Hao’s sweater and grabbing onto the skin of his stomach. “What you called me before.”
“Baobei,” Hao huffs.
“Again.”
“Baobei,” Hao calls, eyes narrowing in confusion, until he witnesses the mystified expression on Hanbin’s face. He looks so intrigued, fingers digging into the flesh of Hao’s bellybutton, and Hao humors him, softening his tone. “Baobei. ”
Hanbin dives in straight for his lips, stealing Hao’s breath and rendering him speechless. There’s a new vigor present in his pace, and Hao’s cock spasms with the need for release, rutting against Hanbin harder. He’s whimpering again, and Hanbin doesn’t shush him this time, making his own groans as he licks Hao’s bottom lip. Hao is dizzy as he holds onto Hanbin like his lifeline, wondering what country he saved in his past life to be able to be in Hanbin’s arms like this, warm and secure and dizzy with desire—
“Hurry up, Jiyeon! We gotta drop this off to the Admissions Office. They’ve been waiting on us for, like, the last hour.”
Hanbin and Hao freeze at the sound of intruding voices.
“Jeez, I’m coming. Give me a second.”
“We don’t have a second! We need to find Hanbin sunbae after this, too, so we have to hurry.”
“Where did he disappear off to anyway?”
“God knows.”
Their voices get closer and closer, and a bucket of ice-cold water is unceremoniously dumped on Hao, clearing his hazy mind and pulling him out of the fog of his lust. He looks at Hanbin, who is standing remarkably still, and can’t bring himself to push Hanbin away, even as the voices near them, where they will surely be discovered.
It is not in either of their favors to be caught. Hanbin’s perfect reputation would be tainted, though Hao is not sure that would mean much to Hanbin. Hao’s reputation would also take a hit, especially because he is going to be running for the vice president position and people might realize that he is using Hanbin for his personal gain.
Hao falters. Using Hanbin…? Is that what this is?
Bile rises in his throat. Why does he feel as though his reason for being around Hanbin is not what it originally was?
No, he thinks, I have to be consistent if I want to get into my dream school. Right, my dream school, impressing my parents—that’s what this is all for.
“Wait, we’re going the wrong way.”
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
“Jiyeon, you don’t notice a lot of things. Let’s turn back.”
It’s only when their footsteps begin to fade that Hao can breathe easier and Hanbin’s rigid body relaxes slightly. He backs away from Hao abruptly and runs his hands through his hair, eyes serious.
Hao would expect the air to be awkward, for them to flounder a bit before going their separate ways, but Hanbin looks at Hao, determined, and opens his mouth to say, “Don’t call anyone else that.”
“What?” Hao asks, dumbfounded.
“Only call me that pet name,” Hanbin says, watching Hao discreetly. His words are concise and leave no room for argument, though Hao remains confused at Hanbin’s unclear words.
What pet name? Hao wants to question, but before he can, Hanbin turns his back on him and starts to walk away, officially putting an end to their one-sided conversation. He waves with one hand, glancing over his shoulder with his superficial student-body-president smile and says, “Bye, hyung.”
When Hao is left alone and cannot see the outline of Hanbin’s back any longer, he realizes that Hanbin was demanding him to not call anyone else baobei. He’s not sure what that says about Hanbin, to gatekeep Hao’s right to use a name that is commonly used to refer to sexual partners or lovers in his native tongue; but he’s also not sure what it says about himself that the thought of calling someone else baobei sounds wrong.
He exits the building before he can think any more.
ma
Is studying going well?
What did you score on your latest test?
me
Hello to you, too.
Studying is going fine.
I got a 95% on that test.
ma
I know you can do better.
Don’t disappoint us.
me
Of course.
Hao ends up seeing Hanbin a lot more after that interaction. Whether it’s in the hall, surrounded by their own friend groups, or at the university’s cafeteria, sometimes when it’s early in the morning and breakfast is being served, they unintentionally bump into each other. Hao never greets him, though, preferring to observe him from a distance, even if Hanbin catches him staring more often than not and raises an eyebrow in question.
Sometimes, Hanbin’s eyes will linger on his neck, checking for the bruises he had gifted Hao with. Hao covers them with makeup, because as much as he’d love to unashamedly show his peers how rigorous Sung Hanbin is in bed, Ricky forces him to be rational and make himself look presentable. He catches the glimmer of disappointment in Hanbin’s eyes when Hanbin doesn’t see the purple and red blooms of color, and an unidentifiable ache in his chest appears.
It’s an odd thing to notice, Hao thinks, but in the following weeks, Hao comes to a realization that his feelings for Hanbin are shifting. He can’t put his finger on it, but instead of a raging itch to convince Hanbin of his worthiness as a vice president, Hao feels butterflies dancing in his stomach and a longingness to kiss Hanbin until they’re both cross-eyed and tied to each other in every life. He feels sick when Hanbin gives someone that isn’t Hao attention, regardless of if the person he’s talking to is merely a friend or nobody at all. The feeling is an unrecognizable appetite he’s never had before, and it’s wholly unwelcome, the way the craving manifests into scowls that Gyuvin has had the displeasure of witnessing.
“Woah,” Gyuvin muttered at the time, eyes wide at Hao.
“What?” Hao snapped—which was, looking back, not his proudest moment.
Gyuvin unconsciously stepped back, and Hao couldn’t conjure compassion for Gyuvin in spite of his rudeness, not while the student body president was conversing with a girl, likely a classmate, who was sending obvious heart-eyes at his Hanbin. “Chill out, hyung. I’m just surprised you’re so… jealous? I thought you were only going to seduce him and then drop him, but you seem so—I don’t know—attached? ”
“It’s all part of the plan, Gyuvin,” Hao had waved off, though it was something to think about. But he didn’t want to analyze his behavior in fear of what he might find, so he ignored Gyuvin and went back to watching Hanbin with hawk eyes, fists clenching whenever the girl got too close to his Hanbin.
“Y’know,” Gyuvin started, donning a weirdly solemn expression and successfully capturing Hao’s attention, “when you dropped this whole idea on us, I didn’t take you seriously because I didn’t think you’d actually stoop so low as to do something like use someone for a vice president position when you can invest that energy into campaigning. Clearly, I was wrong.”
Gyuvin’s implication nails a spear through Hao’s heart. He’s slightly hurt, even though Gyuvin is right. “Where are you going with this?”
“I won’t stop you from pursuing Hanbin hyung, because I believe this will be a good experience for both of you in the long-run, but please, hyung… I care for both of you and I don’t want you guys to get hurt, especially because of each other. At least be careful with Hanbin hyung, alright?”
Hao couldn’t even begin to dissect that, so he merely smiled at Gyuvin, ruffling the younger’s hair and cooing at him for his consideration. A blush bloomed on Gyuvin’s cheeks, and he shyly turned away, pleased with the momentary spotlight. Hao had glanced back at Hanbin then, only to find him watching the both of them with hooded eyes, darkening obscurely yet distinctly unhappily. Hao really would've undressed in front of everyone and let Hanbin have his way with him if he kept looking at Hao like that.
Eventually, Hao receives an email from the student council, informing him that the campaigning period for the election is coming up. They provide additional rules and regulations that Hao is obligated to abide by, before it signs off as:
Best of luck,
Sung Hanbin
Student Body President
Hao is unreasonably giddy reading that.
Following the email, Hao begins organizing his campaign. Even as Hao prepares for his campaign, he’s swamped with assignments from all of his professors as midterms are on the horizon, unable to find time to seek out Hanbin to continue his plan. Every time Hao is around Hanbin, he completely forgets about the plan, but he decides he can’t be distracted any longer (even though everything he’s done with Hanbin has only served to encourage his plan). If Hao messes up now, not only will his pride fly out the window, but so will his chance at his dream school.
It’s on one of these days, when Hao has left his afternoon music history class and is ruminating over this ordeal, that he sees Hanbin again.
Outside the building he has just left, there exists a great courtyard—one that the university is particularly known for. Vividly green bushes with their variety of color in flower blooms are a constant presence; large oak trees stand tall above groups of chattering students, shielding them from the ruthlessness of the sun’s rays. It’s a magnificent sight, and Hao had been in awe every time he had entered this garden in his first year. The years have dwindled by, as have his admiration, though he does take a second to breathe in the cool breeze that wafts through his hair and basks in the moment.
While it might be nice to unwind here for a bit, Hao knows this luxury of his will be cut short. Ricky and Gyuvin are coming to the courtyard to pick him up so the three of them can have lunch together, and Hao has much to update them on.
He knows this, and yet, Hao thinks about what it would be like to have Hanbin here, the two of them lounging on a blanket on the grass in a picnic-like set up. Hanbin would lay out the cloth for them, would retrieve food from a basket for them, and would plate the food for them. Hanbin would treat him how one does to the only gem they own—delicately and preciously. Then, they’d go home so Hanbin could permanently ruin him for anybody else.
Hao sighs. That would be a dream.
The wind billows out his shirt, hitting his skin and stimulating his goosebumps. Hao snaps himself out of it. He can’t be fantasizing what it would be like to be with Hanbin when their relationship isn’t being made to last. Hanbin is not his and Hao is not Hanbin’s—he needs to keep that line drawn firmly. (He can’t deny how nice it sounds, though.)
Thankfully, arms wrap around him and cheery voices greet Hao in their excitement, distracting him from the tangled mess of thoughts in his head. Hao looks up, eyes curving into crescents as Gyuvin rambles about how beautiful the garden is, especially when it’s surrounding Hao, and he is unsurprised to find Ricky’s fond eyes gazing at Gyuvin, a softness that is only present when he watches Gyuvin. Hao remembers Ricky telling him once, when his younger friends had merely begun dating, that Gyuvin was like a hyperactive puppy—he loves so earnestly that there’s no way to avoid loving him back.
“Slow down,” Hao laughs, reaching out to pat Gyuvin’s hair affectionately. He avoids touching Ricky’s hair because the blonde doesn’t appreciate it when it is messed with. Instead, he gives the man a side hug. “Your brain will crash from how fast you talk.”
“Hyuuuunnnng,” Gyuvin whines, draping his arms over Hao’s shoulders. “How could you say that?! I missed you.”
“You saw each other two days ago,” Ricky deadpans. The twitch in his lips gives him away.
“Two days too many,” Gyuvin retorts. “I—Hao hyung? Are you listening?”
Hao promises he was paying attention, but he can’t help the fact his eyes caught the sight of Hanbin entering the courtyard with a group of four surrounding him. They’re all giggling about something, a close bunch of people, and someone seems to make another joke that has the group erupting in laughter again.
Hao can’t peel his eyes away no matter how hard he tries. Hanbin is standing in the center, glittering eyes and whisker dimples on display, and Hao hates how, at this moment, he thinks Hanbin is the most handsome man he has ever met, his attractiveness increasing by tenfold when he’s happy. A phenomenon that is becoming increasingly familiar to him occurs: his stomach flutters. It’s weird and not common at all and Hao should be concerned, but all he can focus on is the outline of Hanbin’s smile, the corners of his eyes wrinkling in his joy.
“Oh,” Ricky mutters, interrupting his train of thought and effectively popping Hao’s bubble. “I knew you liked Sung Hanbin, but I didn’t think it was that serious.”
“See?” Gyuvin snorts. He leaves Hao to hug Ricky from behind. “I told you I wasn’t hallucinating things.”
“Shut up,” Hao hisses, somewhat playful and somewhat meaningful. He stumbles to grab his bag, shoving his phone inside and hoisting it on his shoulder. “We should go. Right now. We’re going to walk past Hanbin’s group. Maybe he’ll see me.”
To say Gyuvin and Ricky are surprised is an understatement. They share a look of disbelief, Gyuvin’s jaw hanging on its hinges, before Ricky turns to him with disapproval. “You’re still going through with your plan?”
“Yes,” Hao snaps, sharp enough to sound unpleasant to the ears. He’s sure his uncaring demeanor regarding this matter must be grating to the nerves, but as much as Hao values his friend’s emotions, he simply does not care this time. Hao has said it before and he will say it again: he needs that vice president position, and as long as he wills something, it will happen. By any means necessary. “Now, will you stop being so uptight and help me out? I need him to soften up to me, and I can’t do that with you breathing down my neck like this.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to say this before you get it through your thick head, but this is a terrible idea, hyung,” Ricky mumbles, rolling his eyes at Hao’s curt stare.
Always the person who diffuses tense situations because he cannot handle grave conflicts, Gyuvin chides him with an elbow to the side, which Ricky responds with a pout. Helpless to his boyfriend’s mannerisms, Gyuvin bends down to kiss his protruded lip away, silently apologizing.
“Can you guys go one minute without kissing? Gyuvin, you’re so weak against Ri—” Hao pauses. “Wait…”
Ricky frowns, watching Hao’s sudden contemplative state suspiciously. “What?”
“You two just gave me an idea.” A smile lifts Hao’s lips. Hao notes the way Gyuvin steps back warily. “Consider your next lunch date planned and paid for.”
“Uhm, thanks…? Gyuvin, stop backing away.”
“Sorry, it’s just you never know with hyung these days. He’s always acting weird ‘cause of Hanbin hyung.”
“Follow me. Don’t panic at what I do next,” Hao interjects, ignoring Gyuvin’s words and beginning to walk towards where Hanbin and his friends are. Hanbin hasn’t caught sight of him, and neither have his friends. It’s good that way, as the lack of attention gives Hao time to scan the scenery and see what incident he can stage without coming off too superficial.
His eyes light up when he sees a four-step flight of stairs, heading to an area directly in Hanbin’s path. Hao has full confidence in his idea, formulating quickly in his head, as he walks faster, Gyuvin and Ricky falling behind.
Gyuvin shouts, “Hao hyung, slow down,” but Hao doesn’t ease his pace, instead taking that call as a sign to become more speedy, glancing back at his friends and giggling childishly at them lagging. He does this with the full intention of Hanbin seeing him, hoping the latter will be as surprised to see him in the garden as Hao was when Hanbin entered his line of sight.
As he turns his head back to where his eyes can in front of him, Hao’s foot meets the foot of the staircase, just like he planned, causing him to stumble. He isn’t able to regain his footing, hands flying out against the gravel to catch himself, and with a certain kind of satisfaction, feels his body crash against the bumpy stairs. Somewhere in the distance, Hao hears a scream and recognizes it as Gyuvin’s.
Laying on the hard ground hurts, the skin on his arm burning as he waits approximately two seconds for someone to help him up. The burn is faint because Hao had shielded himself at the last moment, but it is there, even as he keeps himself still, the sensation making movement uncomfortable.
Just as he thinks, scarily enough, that no one is coming to help him except maybe Gyuvin and Ricky while Hanbin’s friend group potentially bears witness to this humiliating moment born of Hao’s own stupidity, hands that he is more than accustomed to firmly grab onto his arm and pull Hao onto his rear end. The person bends down on one knee in front of Hao, sliding his hands from Hao’s arms to his waist and squeezing the flesh there reassuringly. If Hao’s palms become clammy at the motion, that is a secret between him and God.
“Are you okay, hyung?” In spite of the fact that he expected it, a shiver finds its way to Hao’s spine, traveling down the length of it at the warmth of the skin on his body. “You’re not hurt, are you?”
The gentle concern in Hanbin’s voice and the comforting way his hands rub Hao’s hips makes Hao dizzy. He’s pleased that his plan has worked so well so far, but he can’t stop here, not even as he hears footsteps nearing them and people begin to approach.
“Bin-ah,” Hao whines, accentuating the upset in his voice. He must do a good job, because Hanbin’s grip tightens, his thumb digging deliciously into Hao’s flesh. “It hurts.”
“It hurts?” Hanbin speaks softly, kindly. Hao registers that Ricky and Gyuvin have caught up to them, rushing to where Hao is seated. “Where? Tell me, baby.”
“Here,” Hao points to his side, “Everywhere. My arm is burning terribly.” It’s not really, Hao thinks, but to keep Hanbin’s interest in him aflame, he’s more than willing to exaggerate the truth. “Did you see me fall? I’m so embarrassed… I must have looked so stupid.”
“You didn’t, hyung,” Hanbin says gently. He’s adjusted his crouch slightly to have a better view of Hao’s reddened arm, examining the skin with careful eyes. When his fingers brush the area, Hao instinctively jerks away. “You could never look stupid. Can you walk? Let me take you to the nurse’s office.”
“I…” Hao deliberates whether he should tell the truth or continue lying. Seeing Ricky’s worry gradually fade into resignation as he realizes what Hao is doing only serves to fuel his actions, oddly enough. Maybe he wants to prove to Ricky that he can and will do this, and it will all work out because it is not a bad idea. “It’s hard to walk. Can you carry me, Bin-ah?”
“Bin-ah?” A voice from behind Hao echoes him, making Hao jolt with surprise. He turns his head the best that he can to see a blonde man watching Hao with a degree of dumbfoundedness painted on his face, though he tries to recompose himself now that he has Hao’s eyes on him. The scene leads him to realize that there are three others around that man with a similar level of bewilderment etched onto their faces. “Sorry, uh, I was just… shocked. No one really calls Hanbin hyung that.”
“ Matthew,” Hanbin narrows his eyes, an unreadable warning glinting in them.
“Jeez, chill,” Matthew surrenders, before plastering on the brightest smile Hao has ever seen someone don. It’s cute and extremely lovable. It makes Hao green with jealousy. If these are the type of people Hanbin surrounds himself with, cute and attractive, then Hao would like to lock Hanbin in a room with a key only he has access to. “I’m Seok Matthew, Hanbin hyung’s best friend! And you must be Zhang Hao?”
“Yes,” Hao raises an eyebrow, wondering where he’s heard that name before. Seok Matthew… isn’t he one of the candidates for student body secretary?
“Oh, and this is Jiwoong hyung, my boyfriend, and that’s Taerae, and that’s Gunwookie, we’re Hanbin hyung’s friend, and—right, me and Jiwoong hyung are running for secretary and treasurer! I heard you’re running for vice president! We might be working together next year! I hope you’ll consider voting for us, and we’ll consider voting for yo—”
“Baby, you’re rambling,” a man beside him interrupts, voice low, reaching over to hang his arm over Matthew’s shoulders. He talks so lovingly to Matthew, and Hao feels a rush of relief at the blush coating Matthew’s cheeks at the man’s intervention. Good, he thinks, stay away from my Hanbin.
“Sorry, I’m just really excited to meet you!” Matthew huffs out a laugh.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Hao addresses Matthew hospitably, even though all he wants is to relish in Hanbin’s attention. But being kind to Hanbin’s friends won’t hurt his chances with Hanbin, it could even help him, so Hao sucks up his wants and puts on a nice, hopefully welcome smile for them. “It’s nice to meet all of you.”
While they all seem confused at Hao’s presence and what that entails for Hanbin, Hanbin’s friends acknowledge him warmly, a chorus of greetings said in response to his.
“Well, we all have met before, but I’m Ricky, Hao hyung’s close friend and Gyuvin’s boyfriend,” Ricky bows politely. Oh, right, Hao recalls, Gyuvin is already friends with them.
The two groups exchange pleasantries, and Hao tunes them out, disinterested in creating stronger ties. He’ll leave that up to Gyuvin and Ricky to do while he deals with Hanbin.
“Does it still hurt?” Hanbin asks him, running his fingers down Hao’s side intimately. Hao can’t lie and say he doesn’t love the spotlight, because Hanbin is the one pampering him. “I can carry you to the nurse’s office if the pain is that bad.”
“Obviously it hurts,” Hao pouts, lowering his lashes and pretending the ache on his side has not completely subsided. Ricky gives him an unimpressed stare from behind Hanbin. He’s seen through Hao’s act entirely, but Hao doesn’t care, because he’s certain that if Hanbin learns that Hao is not actually experiencing any pain, he’ll still deliver Hao to the medical center just to spoil him. “I really don’t think I can move by myself, Bin-ah.”
“You snake,” Ricky jabs at Hao in Mandarin. “How can you feel good about yourself when you’re using him so shamelessly?”
Choosing inner peace by not responding, Hao tilts his head up at Hanbin and makes his eyes watery on command. He sees the moment Hanbin comes to the understanding that Hao is about to cry. “Can we go now please? There’s an annoying fly buzzing around.”
Hanbin doesn’t answer him in words, but one of his hands handles the back of Hao’s knees while the other goes to support his nape in a princess-carry. Hanbin pulls Hao closer to his chest as his legs extend to their full height, and there are several seconds in which Hanbin adjusts his grip for both his and Hao’s comfort. Hao subconsciously leans in to breathe Hanbin’s scent, floral and sweet, a contrast to his own perfume. He hides his smile in Hanbin’s collarbone.
“Comfortable?” Hanbin verifies, unfazed at the variety of reactions they’re presented with at Hanbin’s boldness. Hao himself does not look away from the underside of Hanbin’s jaw, captivated by the lack of timidity in the other, but he hears someone gasp comically. Hao’s guess is Taerae. From the edge of his vision, Hao witnesses Hanbin’s friend group pass around purposeful glances, communicating a message that Hao can’t decipher. He finds himself unable to care, not when Hanbin’s chest is pressed right against his torso, the contact sparking electricity in Hao’s brain.
“Comfortable,” Hao smiles, snuggling into Hanbin’s arms and forgoing his act. He doesn’t have to pretend as though he is in pain when he’s already accomplished his goal of getting Hanbin to hold him. “Let’s go?”
“Let’s go,” Hanbin says, taking off with a nod of acknowledgement to Ricky and Gyuvin, who hesitantly bow their heads back.
As they depart, Gunwook watches them with raised eyebrows, face colored with bafflement. Taerae is still gaping, and Matthew and Jiwoong are whispering to each other, both evidently reflecting on the nature of Hanbin and Hao’s relationship. Finding himself smiling, Hao can’t stop his joy from becoming visible when everything is working out extremely smoothly—no hiccups.
They arrive at the nurse’s office rather quickly. Hao feels a twinge of disappointment, his heart pinching at the sight of the door because he quite liked the stares and flabbergasted frowns from students who did not expect to see them together, especially in such an bold position. In fact, Hao delighted under the attention, content that everyone saw Hanbin’s special treatment towards Hao, that they may truly be viewed as a unit in people’s minds. It’s terribly embarrassing how badly he wants that—to be recognized as Hanbin’s lover and for Hanbin to be beheld as Hao’s lover as well. Though wholly unnecessary, it’ll help escalate Hao’s plan at least…?
“Is that Zhang Hao? In fucking Sung Hanbin’s arms?”
“No way…”
“My two worlds have just collided. I had no idea they knew each other.”
“It makes sense that they do. Don’t you know that Sung Hanbin is student body president and Zhang Hao is running to be vice president?”
“Why’s Hanbin carrying him, though?”
“Do I look like Akinator to you? How would I know?”
“Maybe Hao’s hurt or something and can’t walk on his own?”
“Uh, that’s all well and okay, but why are they looking at each other so… intensely?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have a heterosexual explanation for that one.”
With his hands full, Hanbin kicks the door to the nurse’s office open, the entrance opening easily. Inside the room stands numerous neat beds, no occupants there. Hanbin stalks forward, pushing the door closed with his foot, and one of his hands migrates through the air to lock it, immediately flying back to its original position behind Hao’s neck. Their privacy ensured, Hanbin walks to the farthest bed, situated in the corner of the room, and carefully dumps Hao’s weight onto the bedding in an attempt to be gentle.
“The nurse isn’t here,” Hanbin answers Hao’s silent question. It must’ve been written on his face for Hanbin to pick up on it so fast, a knowing glint in the younger’s eyes. “Don’t worry, hyung, I’ll take care of you until the nurse appears.”
Hao wants to say that he wasn’t worried, that he can’t worry under Hanbin’s attentive pampering, but he quietens when Hanbin puts distance between them to rummage through drawers. He’s opened a random drawer on an unlabeled cabinet, and Hao assumes that Hanbin’s just gotten lucky that a tube of ointment cream for Hao’s arm is in that particular drawing.
Hao doesn’t question anything when Hanbin moves to another cabinet and opens a drawer to pull out a pack of bandaids that would be perfect to cover up the reddish tint of Hao’s irritated skin. He starts to consider that Hanbin knowing what drawers to open to find certain items may not be incidental when Hanbin yanks another open, taking out a packet of painkillers.
“How do you know where everything is, Bin-ah?” Hao asks curiously. His fingers itch to tug Hanbin back to him so his body can continue its service as a furnace to Hao’s naturally colder blood. “Have you been here before?”
“I came here a lot my first few months here,” Hanbin explains, dropping the items he’s gathered next to where Hao is perched. He picks up the ointment cream and squeezes out a little dollop, smearing it onto Hao’s scarlet skin. Hissing as the coldness of the medication meets his burning arm, Hao bites his bottom lip punishingly to stop himself from making noises. The pain is worse than he initially thought it would be. “I still lived with my parents back then. They were very serious about my grades, so… yeah.”
Hanbin doesn’t say anything outright, evidently uncomfortable with being too blunt, but the implication is there. Hao does not expect Hanbin to make such an admission, stiffening under Hanbin’s gliding touch as he translates the words into Mandarin in his head.
“Sorry,” Hanbin laughs, though there is nothing natural about the way he forces the sound out of himself, lips forming a tight-lipped smile. “I made you uncomfortable, I—”
“You didn’t,” Hao rushes to assure, orientating his body to face Hanbin more directly. No longer applying the ointment cream onto Hao’s skin, Hanbin screws the tube shut and drops it onto the bed, picking up the box of bandaids. He looks unbothered by the conversation they’re having, and Hao would think so, too, if he didn’t notice the shakiness disturbing the movement of Hanbin’s hands. “It was just surprising, is all. I’m sorry, Bin-ah. You can tell me more if you’d like.”
Silence engulfs them, Hanbin focused on where their skin intersects. Hao tries to offer his help, but Hanbin shuts him down quickly, assertive when he tells Hao that he’ll take care of it and plasters a bandaid on the skin.
“Thank you, hyung. I appreciate it. Really.” Hanbin’s eyes shine sincerely as he presses down on the bandaid to make sure it sticks. “How is your campaign going?” He changes the topic though, blatantly not wanting to speak about his situation.
“It’s going okay,” Hao shrugs. “The boys you saw earlier are helping me out.”
“Yeah, Gyuvin and Ricky,” Hanbin smiles, and he suddenly looks so soft, eyebrows losing their hard edge. Hao doesn’t realize his breath got caught in his throat at the sight of Hanbin’s fondness for their juniors. “I didn’t know you guys were so close.”
“Of course, we are,” Hao crosses his arms petulantly. “They’re basically my kids. I raised them.”
Hanbin grins, moving away once the bandage sticks to Hao’s skin. Hao tries not to show the disappointment that blooms in his stomach. “Oh, really?”
“Yep,” Hao confirms, popping the ‘p’. “They… they really helped me out a lot for this campaign. They know how much it means to me to get this vice president position, so they’ve really invested a lot of their efforts into campaigning. I can’t thank them enough.”
Hao doesn’t mean to get so sentimental so quickly. He doesn’t realize there’s a smile playing on his lips, soft and sweet, until he stops talking and notices the silence surrounding them. He looks up from where he is fiddling with his hands, sheepish and ready to change topics.
Hanbin is one step ahead. “You want the vice president position that badly?” He looks surprised and… weirdly curious. There’s a shine in his eyes that Hao wants to destroy—wishes he could make Hanbin’s eyes dark with want. “I didn’t know you were so… committed to the whole vice president thing.”
“I am,” Hao nods. He’s about to continue speaking calmly and explain his backstory, until he catches the dig of Hanbin’s eyebrow, worry keeping the shape of it slanted. It throws him off his guard for a moment. Is Hanbin… worried about me?
“Why? Why do you want this so much?”
Taking a few seconds to himself, Hao scans Hanbin’s face analytically. If Hanbin has some type of affection for him—any type—maybe he would be willing to give Hao the vice president position if Hao asked nicely. Or… or Hao can insinuate that Hanbin should rig the election and plant the idea in Hanbin’s head, followed by mind-blowing sex… but will it work?
This was Hao’s plan from the beginning—to seduce Hanbin and guarantee himself the vice president position—but why does he feel bad for doing this? Why does he find himself wanting to deflower the innocence of their relationship merely because he wants to and not because he wants to be on the board of student council?
Why is he changing?
“Hyung?” Hanbin is frowning, waving a hand in front of Hao’s face to get his attention, and it does the trick. “Are you okay? Sorry if my question was invasive. You don’t have to answ—”
“No,” Hao huffs out, reaching out to grab Hanbin’s hand. Hanbin’s cheeks light up in flames, clearly not having expected Hao’s movement, and Hao can’t say that he doesn’t feel the same. He finds himself surprised, having acted on impulse rather than rationale. Whatever, it helps his case anyway. “It’s okay, Bin-ah. I just… needed a moment to gather my thoughts.”
“Take your time, hyung.” Hao already feels bad for going through with his plan; why does Hanbin have to be so sweet and understanding and make him feel worse ?
“Hm, where should I start? I guess I should tell you the entire reason I’m in South Korea in the first place,” Hao laughs nervously. “I’m pursuing a prestigious international graduate school in China. It’s known for being amazing for music education majors—it’s where the best of the best graduate, and I want to be one of the best. Back when I was researching what college or university I should attend in order to have a high chance of getting into that graduate school, I stumbled across this international university. I talked to a lot of the alumni, from both schools, and students from both say that going to this university gives you a significant advantage in getting accepted into the graduate school.”
“Like a feeder school?” Hanbin tilts his head.
“Yes, like a feeder school,” Hao smiles, resisting the urge to coo at how cute Hanbin looks. “But recently, my counselor told me that she suspects that my dream school had a change in criteria… one that’ll make it a lot harder for me to get accepted.”
“What?”
“I know,” Hao sighs. “That’s what I said. She said some things could be changed though. If I showed that I was more involved on a higher scale and showed more responsibility, I’d have a better chance—and what fits that description the best?”
“Being the vice president,” Hanbin finishes for him.
“Obviously, I need to do more than just that,” Hao says, pleased to see that Hanbin seems to be in his head, a little subdued and contemplative. He’s considering what Hao is saying. “But it’s a really good start. Ugh… if only there was an easier way to do this…”
“Is there?” Hanbin asks, eyes jumping to Hao’s pout.
“Unless you want to rig the election and make me your vice president by force, no,” Hao giggles, making himself sound as though he is joking even though he is anything but. He plays his words off with a laugh. “But yeah. That’s why I’m so passionate about this role. I just…” Tears spring to Hao’s eyes on command. He hopes he looks more pitiful than he actually feels. “I just don’t want to disappoint my parents. They’re spending so much money by sending me off to another country so I have a better chance at attending my dream school, and now I feel like a failure because of this whole mess—”
“You’re not a failure, hyung,” Hanbin interrupts his spiel with narrowed eyes. “You never were.”
I won’t be if you would just fall for my charms, Hao thinks. But Hanbin doesn’t know that.
“You’ve had to work hard. Hyung, you’re amazing.”
Hao pauses at Hanbin’s words. “What?”
“You’re amazing. Hyung, I’ll make things easier for you. Trust me. You’ve worked so hard; I’ll help you take it a little easier.”
Hanbin’s words are sincere and kind, gentle in the way they leave his mouth, and Hao can’t help the subsequent tremble of his own mouth, overcome with emotion. Even if Hanbin is not explicitly claiming he will do whatever it takes for Hao to become vice president like he initially hoped Hanbin would, Hao doesn’t care.
Hanbin is so kind, Hao realizes abruptly. Hao is sitting here, on the bed Hanbin carried him to after he injured himself, attempting to manipulate Hanbin while Hanbin only shows concern for Hao.
He watches Hanbin, the gentle slopes of his face and the comfort in his smile. He just… he just needs to be close to Hanbin right now. Hao doesn’t notice the words tumble out of his mouth until they’re out:
“Kiss me.”
“...What?”
“Hanbin,” Hao calls, desperation making his demand a plea, “kiss me.”
Hanbin doesn’t waste any more time.
Reaching out to Hao, Hanbin crowds against him, the elder’s legs dangling off the bed and spread to accommodate Hanbin’s presence. His hand tangles with the blonde strands attached to Hao’s scalp, tugging him forward to meet Hanbin’s lips, and Hao melts into it with an embarrassing amount of vigorousness. A rush of blood bursts inside of Hao’s veins, a shiver running down his spine at the kiss Hanbin presses against his lips.
It’s a miracle Hao doesn’t immediately grab onto Hanbin and fist into his clothes to keep him near, but he falls into the pattern when Hanbin’s fingers brush the base of his neck, Hao’s breath hitching at the ticklish feeling. Their mouths busy mingling, Hao can only attempt to scoot forward, kicking his hips at an angle and meet Hanbin’s crotch—but Hanbin apparently loves to play hard to get.
Hanbin’s hands travel down, halting at Hao’s hips to stop him from touching Hanbin’s pelvis. No matter how much he wiggles, Hao can’t get closer to Hanbin, and it slowly but surely frustrates him, small grunts emitted into the space shared by them.
“Shhh. Keep still, baby,” Hanbin whispers, caressing his hipbone delicately. “Let me do the work. You just have to sit there and look pretty for me. Does that sound good?”
Hao doesn’t answer—can’t answer—not when Hanbin’s lips dive straight to his collarbone, teeth clawing at his skin and creating alternating blooms of pain and pleasure. The low whine from the back of his throat says his approval, so it is not a surprise when Hanbin tightens his grip on Hao’s hips, bruising and dizzying.
“Tell me what you want, hyung,” Hanbin murmurs in the junction of Hao’s neck. “Yes? No? Do you want me to fuck you?”
“Yes,” Hao answers without thinking it over, gasping as Hanbin’s bites particularly hard in the area below his ear, soothing the burn with the warmth of his tongue afterwards. “Yes, yes, yes—I want you to fuck me, Bin-ah.”
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to be so enthusiastic,” Hanbin laughs, lifting his head to meet Hao’s eyes with his own mirthful ones. “You really were desperate to be fucked, so much so that you talk to the first person who offers like this?”
The truth is being stretched; Hao can tell, even in his muddled state of mind.
And even if it is… Hao’s dick hardens anyway.
Hao’s desperation for Hanbin’s dick manifests into frustration when Hanbin keeps him at arm’s length, sweetly nibbling on the shell of Hao’s ear but pulling away when Hao gets fidgety and bucks his hips forwards. There are tears born of annoyance gathering at his waterline, and when Hanbin notices, he laughs mockingly and pulls away— again.
“You can’t handle foreplay?” Hanbin’s mouth curves downward, bottom lip protruding as he meets Hao’s gaze with faux sympathy. “y baby wants to be dicked down already? But we haven’t even started…”
“Hanbin, I don’t give a fuck about foreplay right now,” Hao narrows his eyes, tugging Hanbin closer by the shirt. His tug doesn’t do much, and Hanbin raises an eyebrow at the humiliating show of strength. “Fuck me right or I’ll walk out and ask the first man I see to fuck me. I’ll make you watch, too.”
Hanbin’s amusement drains from his face, leaving behind the picture of irritation in its place. “You wouldn’t dare.”
He’s right; Hao wouldn’t dare. But still— “Try me.”
Hanbin dives in for another kiss, grabbing the collar of Hao’s shirt and yanking it away from his body, the sound of ripping fabric heard amidst the groans Hao emits at the motion. He reaches down with his free hand, flicking at Hao’s crotch with his finger, the blunt edge of his nail digging into his skin. Hao gasps hotly into Hanbin’s mouth, giving Hanbin free access to roam his mouth with his tongue.
“Fucking brat,” Hanbin mutters, pressing against Hao’s dick until Hao whimpers in pain. More, he thinks, I want more. I want anything Hanbin will give me. “I give you my full attention, I pamper you—and this is the shit you pull? Can’t you be fucking grateful?”
“Hnngh—Bin-ah—”
“Apologize to me,” Hanbin demands, and he’s so mean , the way his fingers tightened around Hao’s cock but let go when Hao shows a miniscule sign of pleasure. “Say sorry and I’ll give you everything you want, baby.”
“Hmph—no ,” Hao barely manages to pant, too preoccupied with the knuckles tunneling into his dick. “Oh—!”
“You don’t want to apologize? But it’s so easy,” Hanbin smiles as he leans forward to kiss Hao’s mouth. “You can’t even be that much of a good girl for me?”
You’re the one that should apologize, Hao wants to retort, but the words get stolen as Hanbin pinches the flesh of his groin and twists. It’s not too hard so it’s not as painful as it would be if Hanbin did it with his full strength, but the pinch is there, and Hao’s face screws up and he moans.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” Hanbin’s eyes are glittering, and Hao thinks, You are the cat, you sly bastard.
“‘M sorry,” Hao slurs, the pain dizzingly good. It dulls out as Hanbin sweetly peppers his face with praising kisses.
“For what?”
“For not being a good girl.”
“Exactly,” Hanbin sighs, though his eyes glitter happily. “See? Was that so hard?”
Hanbin moves back, and a whine is on the tip of Hao’s tongue, mood rapidly dropping at Hanbin breaking his promise of giving Hao everything he wants so quickly because the lack of touch they have going on is exactly the opposite of what he wants right now. However, it sizzles away when Hanbin pulls his own shirt over his head, leaving the smooth skin of his abdomen on display. Hao salivates at the sight.
Hanbin is handsome. His hair is messy with the strain of their activities, lips flushed cherry red and bruised.
He takes Hao’s shirt in his hands and rips away the remnants of the torn shirt, finishing it for good. Whatever, Hao hadn’t particularly cared for that shirt.
“I’ll buy this shirt for you again,” Hanbin says, throwing it to the side. “Or you can take one of my shirts.”
Eyeing the garment Hanbin had just taken off his own body, the cloth bundled next to Hao’s legs, Hao lights up with an idea. “Can I wear your shirt?”
Hanbin begins nodding. “Yeah, I just said—”
“No, I mean right now,” Hao corrects himself.
“What?”
Hao can see the hesitance in Hanbin’s eyes, not disapproving but definitely confused. Seems like he needs a little bit of convincing. “Wouldn’t you like to fuck me in your clothes? Your shirt will be big on m—”
Hanbin doesn’t need any more convincing than that. “Put it on.”
True to Hao’s beliefs, Hanbin’s shirt does dangle off his shoulder, exposing a clean slate of unmarked skin. He relishes in the feeling of Hanbin’s cologne surrounding him and clogging his senses, feeling truly content for a few seconds.
“Fuck —my pretty princess,” Hanbin mumbles, pressing his lips against Hao’s shoulder gently. His eyes are awe-stricken, breath coming out in shallow waves, and Hao suppresses pleased chuckles at Hanbin’s obvious enamour. “You’re gorgeous.”
“Can you fuck me now?” Hao huffs, acting irritated to hide the blush that’s crawled its way up to his face from his neck. “I’ve been waiting forever.”
Hanbin rolls his eyes. “Wait,” he says, walking to a cabinet, opening a drawer, and revealing a condom and bottle of lube in his hands. Then, Hanbin draws a curtain around the bed they’re situated at, hiding them from view from anyone who may walk in.
Hao doesn’t even try to hide his surprise because—what? How did he find them on the first try? “How did you know that those were there?” A very bad feeling crawls into the pit of Hao’s stomach. “Have… have you done this here with someone else before?”
He doesn’t want to sound insecure, but it comes off that way anyway. Hao can’t bring himself to really care about that.
“No,” Hanbin laughs lightly, tearing into the condom packet with his teeth and discarding the plastic packet. “I told you—I was just here a lot in my freshmen year. The nurse trusted me a lot, so she showed me where everything was in case there was an emergency and she wasn’t here for it.”
“Oh,” Hao responds dumbly.
“Don’t be jealous, hyung,” Hanbin reassures, pecking Hao’s lips softly. “I’m yours right now. Only think about me.”
You’re mine right now, but when this moment passes and we leave our little bubble, would you still be willing to be mine then?
It’s not fair of Hao to think these thoughts when his intent in getting close with Hanbin is so superficial—so selfish —and it would do him good to remember this, but his mind blocks the thought as soon as it occurs, the sharp claws of jealousy drawing blood as it drags across the width of Hao’s brain.
Instead of asking what is playing in his mind on repeat, Hao sulks, grappling with the waistband of Hanbin’s jeans. “You’re mine.”
“Mhm.”
“Don’t go to anyone else.”
“Okay.”
“If I find out you fucked someone else after this, I’ll lock you up in my apartment,” Hao threatens.
“That’s it?”
“I’ll kill your other bitch in front of you.”
“Good,” Hanbin smiles, not at all disturbed. That makes Hao feel better.
So, when Hanbin reaches out and helps Hao out of his pants, Hao doesn’t resist. He watches in anticipation, lifting his hips, as his dick meets the cold air, instinctively hardening slightly. Hanbin traces the length with his fingers, feather-light touches unintentionally tickling Hao.
Shutting his eyes at the motion, Hao registers Hanbin pulling his hand back, hears the click of the lube bottle, and realizes Hanbin is going to coat his dick with it. He braces himself for the chill of the lube, but Hao still jolts—because Hanbin’s fingers prod his entrance, not the expanse of his dick.
“Oh—!” Hao jerks forward, hands jumping onto Hanbin’s shoulders to ground himself from the sudden shivers wracking his body. He can feel Hanbin’s breath on his ear, the younger chuckling quietly at Hao’s reaction.
The fingers push into Hao’s hole, encountering resistance. Hanbin doesn’t let it deter him, if the rigor with which he scissors Hao is anything to go by. He stretches Hao’s hole out, making sure it is loosened by the time he has inserted three of his fingers.
Hao tries to grind on the fingers and create the friction Hanbin has been denying him of thus far, but Hanbin clicks his tongue, shaking his head at Hao’s pathetic attempts to wiggle and squirm into victory.
“You’re a dick,” Hao murmurs, upset and frowning at Hanbin’s relaxed expression.
“And you still want me despite that,” Hanbin replies, grinning at Hao’s eye roll. Hao’s smartness quickly dies down when Hanbin punctures his fingers inside of Hao at the same time he fists Hao’s cock in his free hand.
“Fuck—”
The motion of Hanbin’s hand goes quickly, traveling up and down the length of Hao’s cock with ease. Rushes of pleasure cause broken gasps to escape Hao’s mouth, and it’s only encouraged by the satisfied glint in Hanbin’s eye, propelling Hao forward, their lips meeting in a wet crash.
He’s so incredibly attractive—the way he carries himself and treats Hao. Hao can’t resist Hanbin, who observes Hao with an intensity Hao has never seen directed at him before. It… makes him feel warm inside. But it’s different from the heat that travels throughout his body because of Hanbin’s feverish touches. It’s soft and firm and something tangible. Hao can’t put a label on it.
Just as the pressure builds, puncturing groans out of Hao, Hanbin abruptly stops the movement of his hands—and Hao whimpers.
“Why—why’d you stop?” Hao pants, breathing heavily as a glare begins forming on his features.
Hanbin doesn’t answer him—verbally, at least. He goes to unbuckle his jeans, taking his cock out of his boxers, and even though Hao has seen Hanbin’s cock before, the sight of it makes Hao’s insides hurt.
Veins run under the surface of the skin, protruding through and placing emphasis on the pink tint of the cock. Hao can imagine his hand wrapped around it, small in comparison to the length and width of the cock, and the idea of their difference in size sends a jolt straight to his dick.
Hao is reaching out for it before he knows what he’s doing, but Hanbin captures his hand in his palm, kissing the back of Hao’s hand reverently.
“I wasn’t joking when I told you to let me do the work today,” Hanbin says gently. “We have all the time in the world for you to pleasure me, too, hyung, but today, it’s my job.”
Hao feels sick. Hao is sick because he feels loved . He is the last person on Earth who should feel as though this moment is loving.
Hanbin doesn’t feel that way about him. Hao shouldn’t feel that way about him.
But even so…
“Okay,” Hao confirms. He catches his reflection in the mirror and realizes how soft his face has become.
You’re so obvious, Zhang Hao, he thinks.
True to his words, Hanbin takes a handful of lube and glides it down his length, lining it up with Hao’s hole. Hao unconsciously tenses up.
“Relax,” Hanbin whispers, thumb tracing Hao’s naked hipbone in an effort to comfort. “I’m here.”
Hao exhales slowly before Hanbin thrusts into his heat, allowing Hao to adjust to his size as Hanbin enters carefully.
“Good?” Hanbin asks, brushing away sweaty strands on Hao’s forehead.
“Mhm,” Hao nods, body easing as seconds tick by.
Hanbin begins moving, rocking his hips back and forth, until the rhythm speeds up and has Hao gritting out curses because of the sparks of pleasure shooting up his spine.
Hao is sure there are litters of red and purple marks decorating his neck, perspiration leaving his skin sticky, and he feels as though he will die if Hanbin doesn’t keep his eyes on him.
Hanbin doesn’t shut up even as he ruins Hao.
“Maybe I should tie you up and fuck you from the back. I’d fuck you and you’d have to take it,” Hanbin mutters, spearing into Hao and forcing a moan out of him. “But you’re so desperate for my cock that you wouldn’t mind it, would you, hyung?”
Hao thinks, in the midst of dopamine racing through him, that Hanbin really knows how to make an innocent word like hyung sound like a curse.
“I should finish inside of you and let my cum drip down your legs while I introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend—show everyone who owns you. The great Zhang Hao, reduced to being Sung Hanbin’s girlfriend,” Hanbin grins, watching Hao as he thrust straight into the bundle of nerves that lights up every other one in his body. Hao can’t hold back his gasp. Hanbin pouts, seemingly lost in thought, and Hao knows it’s an act, the ridicule in Hanbin’s eyes clear as day. “It’s a nice dream, but I can’t let anyone else catch even a glimpse of you. I’m not really fond of sharing, especially if it concerns you, hyung.”
There are tears pricking the corners of Hao’s eyes, Hanbin’s touch almost overwhelming. He can’t get enough, he wants more, but he’s gotten too much. The dichotomy makes it difficult to inhale a proper breath.
As if tears have not started flowing down Hao’s cheeks, Hanbin keeps talking, apparently determined in devastating Hao. “I wonder… if you became my vice president, would you let me use you whenever I like?”
It’s probably a rhetorical question, but the fuzziness in Hao’s brain makes it hard to comprehend that. “Yes,” he chokes, earnest and honest. “Yes—”
“I want you to be my vice president,” Hanbin groans, Hao’s hole tightening and trapping his cock for a second. “I want it so bad—fuck, should I just take everyone out of the ballot and only keep you?”
My plan, Hao remembers. He should say yes, he should encourage Hanbin to do so, he should—
But he doesn’t want to. He wants to enjoy this moment, wants to let Hanbin consume him, and forget his stupid plan, because why does that matter when Hanbin is here with him?
So he decides, fuck it, he’ll worry about that vice president position later. Right now, he wants to be selfish for himself for once.
“Oppa,” he breathes, throwing caution to the wind. He can feel Hanbin stop moving. “Deeper, please . I want—want you to fuck me so good I end up pregnant.”
“Pregnant, really?” Hanbin laughs, rocking his cock into Hao so deeply that Hao feels pain and pleasure at once and sees stars. “So eager to please me… You really are such a good girl. Should I breed you as a reward?”
“Hnngh—oppa—”
Hao’s legs are quivering from physical exertion.
“Oppa—”
Hao is nearing his release, evident by his tightening hole and increase of gasps in succession. Hanbin doesn’t seem to be faring much better, thrusts growing sloppier and messier as he tries to maintain his composure.
There are voices outside the nurse’s office, some fading while others remain. The noise reminds Hao of the world outside their little bubble, so he shifts his hips downwards against Hanbin’s cock, desperate to have as much contact as he can with the younger one before the bubble bursts.
“Princess, I—” Hanbin struggles to keep his composure. It’s a sight Hao wants to commit to memory: his bangs are sweaty, fingers digging into Hao’s skin, eyes glossy with desire, lips parted.
“I want more—baobei—”
Hanbin reaches over and grabs Hao’s dick, pumping it unceremoniously. His orgasm is right around the corner, but that’s not what tips Hao over the edge.
“I think I might love you,” Hanbin mumbles quietly into Hao’s ear. “I think I love you, hyung.”
Hao explodes. White streaks paint the surface of his belly, some landing on Hanbin’s chest and the bed, and he can feel the burst of warmth inside his hole, gushing and leaking through at the sheer amount of cum Hanbin releases.
His head is buzzing. Hanbin is panting, trying to catch his breath. He should think about his words, he should navigate the conversation elsewhere, he can’t say—
“I think I might love you, too,” Hao blurts out, unable to stop himself. “I… baobei, I love you.”
A beat, and then two. The corners of Hanbin’s eyes crinkle, and his face lights up with the brightest smile Hao thinks he’s ever been blessed with seeing. There’s only pure, unadulterated joy in the way he smiles, leaning in to give Hao a kiss, hands on the elder’s waist.
“Trust me, hyung, you’ll definitely get that vice president position now,” Hanbin says in an obvious attempt at a joke after he’s finished peppering Hao’s face with kisses. “Let’s get you cleaned up, baby.”
Hao is stuck thinking, Fuck, I love him.
How could he have only realized now?
Hanbin caresses his jaw, unaware. Hao feels nauseous witnessing Hanbin’s unsuspecting happiness.
It all comes spilling out when Hao, Ricky, and Gyuvin arrange a meet-up at a local cafe near the university.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Hao says as soon as he plops down in the seat in front of Ricky and Gyuvin. He doesn’t bother to go to the register and order a drink for himself when he feels more pressing matters are on the line.
Ricky and Gyuvin blink owlishly at him in response, drinks in hand and completely clueless.
“What are you talking about?” Gyuvin asks, tilting his head.
“Sung Hanbin. Student body president. Now the love of my life. I can’t do this to Hanbin anymore. I can’t keep trying to seduce him so he’ll rig the election and give me the vice president position anymore. I just can’t.”
“Wait, wait—slow down,” Ricky frowns. “The love of your life? Did something happen?”
“We fucked,” Hao groans, head slumping forward into his arms.
Ricky raises an eyebrow. “Why do you look like he was terrible at it?”
“He wasn’t! That’s the problem: he was fucking amazing at it! So amazing that he told me that he thinks he loves me when we both reached our high and consequently made me realize that I am actually in love with him!” Hao can’t stop the words once he’s started, even as Ricky and Gyuvin’s jaws drop. “And I want him so bad but I shouldn’t, because I’m a terrible person and I’ve been using him for so long and it’s too late to go back—”
“It’s not too late,” Ricky interjects, rolling his eyes. “I was hoping you’d come to your senses soon, and it looks like you have. You’ve realized your mistakes and you feel sorry, so just tell him the truth and apologize.”
“Yeah, and, like, Hanbin hyung will be upset, but if it’s you owning up to your actions, he’ll forgive you at the end of the day,” Gyuvin supplies. “Hyung really values accountability.”
“What we’re getting at is that this is not the end, hyung,” Ricky says. “It’s better to rip the bandage off than to start your relationship off with lies.”
“But…” Hao anxiously bites his lip, eyes flitting between Ricky and Gyuvin’s shared anticipation, “I’m worried that he won’t take it well.”
“Hyung, you literally tried to use and trick him—of course he won’t take it well,” Gyuvin deadpans. “But if you show that you’re sorry, Hanbin hyung will be sure to forgive you!”
“I don’t know, guys…”
“Hyung,” Ricky narrows his eyebrows.
“I don’t think I’ll tell him for now,” Hao announces. Gyuvin slaps his forehead in resignation. “I think I’ll keep this a secret until we have a more stable relationship. I don’t know if our relationship can take a hit like this right now. I don’t even know if he wants to date me in the first place.”
“Hyung,” Ricky warns. “You should be honest with him. The truth will eventually come out.”
“I will, but later,” Hao promises. It’s not a lie.
Ricky and Gyuvin share a look, seemingly having a silent conversation, before they sigh simultaneously, having arrived at the same conclusion.
“Fine, don’t tell him,” Ricky mutters. “Go see the consequences of your actions for yourself.”
“Thank you guys.” He’s genuinely grateful for their support, so with the weight off his chest, Hao gets up from his seat and stands, grinning at them. “I’m gonna go order. Is there anything you two want? My treat.”
None of them notice the lone figure sitting at the next table over, quietly listening to their chattering.
ma
How is studying going?
me
It’s going good, ma!
ma
Good to hear.
Do well.
me
I’ll do my best.
Hao starts seeing Hanbin a lot more often, but this time, it’s intentional.
They plan numerous meet-ups, which are mostly study sessions that end up being derailed because they can’t spend more than ten minutes without being in each other’s space.
They go to cafes that serve fun drinks and memorize each other’s orders. Sometimes, they’ll order spontaneous drinks that they believe the other will like, and neither of them have been wrong once. But, when Hao prefers Hanbin’s drink to his own, Hanbin has no qualms about switching their drinks.
They’ve even introduced their friend groups to each other, and it’s safe to say that they all clicked instantly. It creates a certain pride in Hao to see all of their friends together while he holds hands with Hanbin—and he feels complete. They feel like family.
Despite these developments, one problem remains: Hanbin and Hao are not dating.
Ever since the day they confessed to each other, Hanbin has not mentioned anything regarding dating. It was an area of concern for Hao initially—until Hanbin set the record straight when their friend groups first merged.
“So…” Gunwook says, looking between Hao and Hanbin suspiciously. “Are you two dating?”
Flustered, Hao hides his face in his hands. Half of it is because he is shy; the other half is because he doesn’t want to be there when Hanbin shoots down the question and makes it clear they are not dating.
“We’re not dating,” Hanbin answers, and the group’s laughter dies down, awkward silence ensuing. Hao can feel the gazes of everyone boring into him, no doubt questioning and curious, and Hao just wants to die— “Not yet, at least.”
Hao whips his head towards Hanbin as the others erupted into cheers and hoots, surrounding them in noise. The tips of Hanbin’s ears are tinged pink.
So Hao’s not really worried. Their time will come. Right now, they’re getting to know each other.
But Hao doesn’t need to spend so much time getting to know Hanbin to know that Hanbin is his soulmate. It’s evident in the way Hanbin covers the top of the car door when Hao is getting in so Hao doesn’t bump his head against it. It’s evident in the way he and Hanbin can’t spend more than an hour away from each other before they send a text to the other about what they’re doing. It’s evident in the way Hanbin kisses him softly, sometimes in the company of others, sometimes when they’re alone, and Hao can’t help but feel butterflies every single time because that means Hanbin doesn’t want to hide the true nature of their relationship.
He loves Hanbin, and the more time he spends with Hanbin, the more sure he is of this fact.
At the moment, they sit side-by-side in the library, seats huddled together amidst the large, circular table. Hanbin’s hand is intertwined with his, warmth traveling, heads leaning on each other.
They’re studying—or, rather, Hanbin is. He’s engrossed in reading through a gigantic textbook, while Hao is fighting sleep as he comfortably slumps against Hanbin. He’s already all caught up, and Hanbin encouraged him to take a break day so as to not overwork himself—and who is Hao to deny himself of time spent with Hanbin?
At first, Hao tried to motivate Hanbin to do his work, but he quickly lost the vigor when Hanbin was so insistent on Hao relaxing. Per his Hanbin’s request, Hao dozes off on his shoulder.
That is, until Hanbin wakes him up.
“Princess,” Hanbin calls, shaking Hao gently.
“Hm?” Hao groggily responds, a pout automatically forming on his lips.
“I have to go to the other end of the library to print out a document, so I woke you up because I didn’t want you to be defenseless,” Hanbin explains, brushing Hao’s hair back and caressing his jaw.
“There’s a printer right next to us,” Hao says confusedly. “Why do you have to go so far to print?”
“This printer costs money; the other one prints for free,” Hanbin snorts, before his tone turns gentle again. “I swear I’ll be back quickly. Just stay here in the meantime, alright? If you go somewhere, leave a note or send a text so I don’t panic.”
“Okay,” Hao nods, breaking into a yawn and causing Hanbin to smile.
Hanbin leaves after that, taking his laptop with him. Hao assigns himself the job of protecting their belongings to keep himself awake, picking up his phone to scroll through various social media apps as he keeps an eye on the path Hanbin took to go to the printer.
Somewhere in between Hao answering his third or tenth text, he hears a ping. His ringer isn’t on, so he glances to his side to see Hanbin’s screen lit up with a text message—the culprit of the ping.
Thinking it may be something important, Hao picks up Hanbin’s phone to briefly skim the text. He sees the message is from Matthew and comes to the conclusion that this is probably not urgent or Matthew would’ve shot Hao a text as well.
But as Hao is about to put the phone down, his eyes catch his own name in the message.
What…?
He pauses, considering whether he should continue reading or satiate his curiosity. He knows Hanbin won’t be mad at him regardless, but he doesn’t want to intrude either.
Just this once, Hao decides.
Unlocking Hanbin’s phone, the password being Hao’s birthday, Hao reads:
mattchu
why’d you end the call?
me
sorry hao hyung arrived to the library
mattchu
but hyung about what we were talking about
idk that’s… i don’t even know what to say
wouldn’t that be unfair to the other candidates?
me
i know
fuck i know
but matthew i can’t be president without hao hyung as my vice president
i love him so much
no one but you and me will know so don’t tell anyone, okay?
mattchu
er… i already told jiwoong hyung :(
me
okay no one but you, me, and jiwoong hyung will know
mattchu
hyung…
seriously? you’re rly gonna rig the votes for hao hyung? what if he gets upset because you’re lying to him?
me
he might be mad
i don’t know
but you don’t understand matthew
hyung wants this position because of his dream school… he wants to impress his parents… how can i not do this for him?
mattchu
please just don’t regret this
you’ll eventually tell hao hyung tho, right?
me
i will
i’m planning on telling him in a few days
if he’s not on board with it, i guess i won’t do it
but if he agrees to it, i’ll get it done
mattchu
i mean at least you’re not disregarding hao hyung’s feelings regarding this
That’s where the messages stop.
He… he’s willing to go that far?
Hao’s grip tightens around the phone.
The truth is that Hao doesn’t really care for the vice president position anymore—well, he does, just not in the way he previously did.
He doesn’t want to manipulate Hanbin as he did before and ruin this happiness he’s been afforded for the first time in his life. With Hanbin, he doesn’t have to constantly watch his back because Hanbin is there to do it for him. He doesn’t want to give that all up for a position he has a chance at winning by himself (and it looks like most of the students’ favor is on his side).
But… if Hanbin is going to do this of his own free will, then Hao won’t stop it. Hao will let it happen and feign ignorance.
How much longer will you play dumb for? For how much longer will you lie? Hao can already hear Ricky scolding him in his head.
It’s not the right thing to do, Hao knows this, but if there’s a way to get both of the things he wants, he’ll take it.
When Hanbin comes back, Hao looks up at him, a smile etched on his lips and a greeting on the tip of his tongue. His words die in his throat when he sees the plethora of snacks and drinks in Hanbin’s hands.
“What’s that?” Hao asks, even though he has a pretty clear guess.
“Treats for you,” Hanbin chuckles, setting his printed documents and laptop down on the table before he turns his full attention to Hao. He places the snacks in front of Hao and opens the bottle of water for Hao to drink. “I just wanted to get something for you since you’re spending your free time with me while I study.” Hanbin takes on a sheepish smile. “I know it might be a little boring—I’m sorry, hyung. Thank you for being here with me—wait. Hyung, why are you crying?”
Hao doesn’t realize his face is wet until Hanbin steps forward with a worried look, thumbing Hao’s tears away. “I’m… Where did you get these?”
“There’s a vending machine outside the doors to the library,” Hanbin explains, puzzled. “Why? You don’t like them? Hyung, that’s okay, I’ll get you the snacks you like. I just thought that you’d like these because I asked Ricky and he said these are your favorites—”
“They are,” Hao chokes, burying his head into his hands. Hanbin takes his hands and puts them on his shoulders, making Hao stand up. He wraps Hao into a hug. “I just—I’m so touched.”
“You deserve the world and more,” Hanbin replies.
No, I don’t, Hao thinks, guilt only spewing the onslaught of his tears. Not when it’s you giving me the world.
Ricky is right: the truth does eventually come out.
“Did you hear?”
Unconsciously, Hao leans closer to the boy next to him on the schoolyard bench, unable to continue reading his book. It’s such a bore and he can’t even understand half of it because it’s such advanced Korean.
“What now?”
“It’s about the upcoming election for our student body officers.”
Now, Hao’s interest is properly piqued. He glances at them carefully to make sure they haven’t noticed him.
“Wait, really? What happened?”
“Areum from the business department said that her boyfriend overheard Zhang Hao, one of the candidates for the student body vice president position, saying that he’s using Sung Hanbin, the student body president, for the vice president position. Apparently his plan was to rig the election.”
Hao’s blood drains from his face.
“Oh my God, seriously? And I was going to vote for him…”
“Me too! In fact, everyone thought he was going to win, but the rumors are definitely taking their toll on the student population… A lot of people are saying they’re going to vote for Choi Soobin instead.”
“Crazy for the news to come out so close to the election dates. I wonder what’s going to happen next?”
Hao tunes their conversation out now that the panic has set in. He scrambles for his phone, shaking hands checking the notifications, and his heart drops even further when he notices the amount of text messages and missed calls from his friends.
They found out. They know.
Hao tries to comfort himself with the idea that Hanbin might still be unaware—but his gut tells him that Hanbin already knows.
Hao copes with his anxiety by spending the day pacing around his apartment, his phone in his hand and Hanbin’s contact open, wondering if Hanbin has already heard the rumors or if this is a good time to come clean.
So when the door to his apartment slams open and Hanbin enters, Hao knows immediately what he is here to talk about.
“Is it true?” Hanbin asks, bloodshot eyes trained on Hao. His breaths are frantic and Hao has no doubt his heartbeat is, too, rhythm in tandem with Hao’s own quickening pace. He wants to move closer to Hanbin, to give him a kiss and comfort him, but when he knows he is the source of Hanbin’s despair, his feet remain rooted to the ground. “Tell me, hyung, is it true?”
“I…” It’s true, it’s true, but Hao can’t bring himself to spit the words out, not when he knows how devastated Hanbin will be when he understands the intent behind Hao’s approach all those weeks ago, when Hao had played stupid and Hanbin had unknowingly let him. A stone sinks into his gut, and dread follows. It’s incredibly selfish, Hao admits, but still he prays, Please, don’t let this change our relationship. Please. He doesn’t know who he is praying to.
Hanbin’s eyes desperately search Hao’s face, darting around in panic, for what seems to be reassurance, that Hanbin is wrong, that Hao would never do something like that despite what rumors have been suggesting. Bile rises in Hao’s mouth, stopping him from telling Hanbin more lies on top of the ones he’s currently paying the price for. He tries to reach out for Hanbin, to feel the warmth of his lover’s palm on his own, but Hanbin jerks back when Hao’s hand is in the air, hanging awkwardly at Hanbin’s rejection.
“Don’t lie to me,” Hanbin whispers, voice low and gravelly. All Hao can hear is the anguish lacing his words, hurt shining in his eyes and keeping him a foot away from Hao. They’re within touching distance, enough for Hao to step into Hanbin’s arms and let the love encompass his figure, but the sheer pain that Hanbin is visibly conveying makes him seem farther than that. “Did you really use me to get the vice president position? Did you let me fuck you, tell me you love me, just so you could get on the board?”
Hao can feel the back of his eyes begin to burn, vision rapidly blurring. At least he can’t see Hanbin’s distress as clearly. “I—I… Bin, I can’t—I’m sor—”
“Answer the fucking question!” Hanbin roars, throwing his fist onto a nearby table, and Hao’s heart aches with the desire to kiss Hanbin’s soft lips, feel his warm breath on his mouth, and comfort and apologize to his lover. He wants nothing more than to just slot his body against Hanbin and bask in the heat emitting from him, but— “Did you or did you not?”
“Baobei—” Hao attempts to plead.
“Don’t call me that,” Hanbin laughs harshly, mockingly, to hurt Hao as much as he is, and it does the trick. Tears drip from Hao's eyes almost instantly, pearls of salty liquid falling onto his cheeks and flowing down towards his jaw. Hao notices Hanbin’s nose is ruddy and his ears are flushed from anger, and the ache in his heart intensifies that much more. “I’m not your baobei, not until you tell me the truth.”
“Bin, I…” Hao can’t continue. His eyes fall to the floor in shame. He doesn’t want Hanbin to leave him. He wants a second chance—a second chance to tell Hanbin the truth. I told you so, Ricky’s voice echoes in his mind, and Hao starts sobbing in earnest, praying that he does not lose the love of the person who has taught him what true happiness is tonight.
When Hao lifts his eyes from the ground, nose runny from crying, Hanbin is staring at him with the penetrative gaze Hao has admired since they first met, when Hanbin’s smoldering looks drew him in and only served as motivation for him to continue with his plan. There are tracks of tears on Hanbin’s face, evidence of his silent crying, and Hao can only choke on the buildup in the back of his throat at the sight, knowing how deep his betrayal must have driven the dagger into Hanbin’s chest, leaving only pain in its wake.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” Hao manages to get out, watching miserably as Hanbin’s face drops. “I didn’t mean to, I-I promise. I just—I just really wanted the position, and I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions, but I want you for you now—I regret it so much, Bin, please—”
“Fuck you,” Hanbin interjects, taking a step backward. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. ”
“Bin, I—”
“You liar,” Hanbin spits, laughter bubbling up his throat. He still looks handsome, Hao thinks, even with the chaotic scene of his tears mixed with his anger, and the thought somehow makes Hao filled with more heartache than he believed possible. “I can’t believe—I was so—how could I be so stupid? How could I genuinely think you love me?”
“Don’t say that—” Hao desperately says, reaching out for Hanbin even as the younger keeps moving back.
“What? It’s true,” Hanbin says, narrowing his eyes at Hao. Tears cascade down the drying tracks on his face. “When you came into my life and showed an interest in me, I couldn’t believe it. But I thought—I justified it to myself by saying that since so much of my life has been spent in fear and loneliness, since so much in my life has gone wrong, that maybe you were my gift from the gods. You were my reward for surviving this long. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Nothing good can stay in my life because I’m the problem. I drive everyone away and it’s me that can’t keep people around.” Hanbin smiles, but it’s empty and void of anything remotely joyful. “Did you even love me, hyung?”
“No, don’t say that. Curse at me all you want, but don’t question my love for you,” Hao says, sharpness permeating his words. Hanbin flinches. “I love you, Bin, you’re my other half, and I’m sorry—I—please… give me a second chance, but this time, there will be no lies between—”
“A second chance?” Hanbin looks at Hao incredulously, eyebrows raised at his audacity. “Hao hyung, you lied to me. You told me you love me, and you pretended that it was for who I am. You made me an idiot in front of everyone, and even so, I want to wipe your tears away and kiss you and tell you that it’s all going to be okay! And do you know what the worst part is? I was going to do it for you! I was going to put you on the board, and I was going to rig the election so you would become my vice president even if you lost. I’ve never done shit like that, I’ve always played by the rules, but I was going to do it for you!”
“Bin…” Hao can’t stop sobbing. His face is wet, and even as the backs of his hands wipe his skin, the moisture sticks, coloring him red with the force of his emotions. “Bin… please.” He pleads for Hanbin again and again, hoping the mantra will make time turn back to when his mistakes were salvageable, despite knowing his pleas are weak. “I’m sorry, baobei, please—”
Hanbin chuckles bitterly, roughly rubbing at his face in exhaustion. He’s not crying anymore, resignation stretching his features taut. “The election is in three days. Tell me, if given the choice between me and being vice president, what would you choose? How do I know you’re not pulling another act so I put you on my board? How do I know that you’re not lying out of your ass right now?”
Hao’s heart drops. He has no way to prove that he wants Hanbin for him and not for the vice president position, because he does want the position, but not at the expense of Hanbin, never at the expense of Hanbin—
He feels nauseous at Hanbin’s wounded eyes, watching Hao as though a thousand bricks have fallen onto the space between them.
“I knew you wanted this position to get into your dream school, but I didn’t think you could sink so low ,” Hanbin says. “Now you’re begging for another chance just so you don’t lose the vice president position.” That’s not true, Hao wants to cry, but the words stay stuck in his diaphragm. Hanbin’s next words strike him in the back of the head with a rod, the pain making him dizzy with guilt. “It makes me think that… I almost wish we never met.”
“You—you don’t mean that.” Hao’s voice is wet with upset. He tries to catch Hanbin’s gaze, but the younger resolutely stares at the ground between them, and Hao has never felt distance so great. “You… Bin, you love me—you’re mine as much as I am yours—you even told me so. I won’t accept this, meeting you was my fate, Hanbin—”
“Was it?” Hanbin grins, lifting his hardened glare, and it is so incredibly malicious that Hao nearly takes a step back in surprise. “I guess loving me was not your fate. I was waiting for the perfect time to ask you to officially be my boyfriend, but I… I miscalculated. There won’t ever be a perfect time if you don’t even meet the most basic of requirements and love me.”
“That’s not true,” Hao says, desperate to make Hanbin understand. The situation feels precarious, as though whatever happens now will determine their future together. “I love you, Bin. I want to spend a lifetime with you, I want to be your princess, I—”
“Hao hyung, I love you,” Hanbin interrupts, turning his head away in what seems to be shame. “I love you, and I don’t want to be fed any more lies by the one person who I trusted my heart with and learned he willingly chose to drop it.”
“What are you…”
“Let’s end things here.”
“What…?” Hao trails off, stupefied, staring at Hanbin who, for all of Hao’s horror, seems to be completely serious. “You can’t… Hanbin, what?”
“This is the best decision for both of us,” Hanbin closes his eyes. “After we part ways, I won’t be petty and take you out of the running for vice president. You can have your fair chance. I—”
“I don’t care about that,” Hao rushes to say, crowding Hanbin’s space and grabbing the younger’s sleeve, tightening his grasp so he can’t escape. “I don’t care anymore, I just want you, Hanbin. I can’t lose you, please.”
Hanbin observes Hao begging for a moment, eyes glassy and mouth shaped into a solid line. It’s overwhelming how much Hanbin can look indifferent while showing copious amounts of emotion in his eyes.
Whatever Hanbin sees in him isn’t enough, though.
“Goodbye, Hao,” Hanbin says, peeling Hao’s weakening hand away from his arm. He’s dropped the familiar honorific, and Hao feels sick at the thought, waves of saliva rolling on his tongue. “I hope we never see each other again. Good luck on the election.”
Even as Hanbin wishes for the doom of their relationship and the success of Hao, Hao cannot let the image of Hanbin out of his sight, desperation holding his mind hostage and willing him to just reach out—
Hao can feel liquid well in his eyes, burning and distorting the image of Hanbin turning his back on him, his fingers curling into the back of his lover’s shirt, holding him in place and keeping him from leaving their shared space, from leaving Hao.
“Don’t go,” Hao bawls. The situation becomes increasingly real the longer dread weighs down his gut, whispering that this may be Hao’s last chance. “Please, don’t go.”
Hanbin pushes Hao’s arms off him. He doesn’t apologize for doing so, nor does he turn around to hold Hao’s jaw in his hands, kissing the elder’s nose and lips lovingly.
Chest aching, Hao watches the sight of Hanbin’s retreating back, longingness tearing his stomach to shreds and ripping out another sob out of his throat.
The door is yanked open and Hanbin leaves, and Hao knows immediately that he has lost Hanbin.
Hao does not leave his apartment for a whole day. He stays cooped up in his bedroom, curtains drawn, door shut, and blanket covering his body, even as the temperature causes perspiration to dot the edges of his forehead. From the moment he dropped onto his bed after his parting with Hanbin, Hao has not wanted anything but to let himself be pathetic alone and cry, unless it is Hanbin who picks him up from the bed and forces Hao to take care of himself.
The mere thought of Hanbin causes Hao to bawl again, as he has been doing since Hanbin left him in his place the day before.
Somehow, without Hao notifying them of his whereabouts, his friends show up at his home and, without question, take care of him. He wants to say that he appreciates them, and despite the clogging in his throat, he tries to thank them.
“Don’t thank us,” Ricky says, Yujin nodding beside him. “Thank Hanbin hyung. He told us to check up on you. He wouldn’t say why, but I have my suspicions.”
The dam to his waterworks breaks at Ricky’s words, because even when they are broken up and Hanbin is hurt beyond repair, he still looks out for Hao. He is still so kind when he does not have to be. He still cares even when he shouldn’t.
His tears surprise Gyuvin and Yujin, who rush to pat his head and back to ease his hurt, snuggling into him, but only Ricky stays back, a wistful expression on his face. Hao knows instantly that he will not like the next words out of Ricky’s mouth.
Sure enough, Ricky mutters, “I’m not going to say I told you so because I know you’re probably beating yourself up inside enough as it is, but I hope you take this as a sign to be more careful in the future when you use people for your personal benefit.”
“What do I do? " Hao gasps, burying his head into Gyuvin’s shoulder, the brunette whispering words of comfort. “I want him back, Ricky, I just want Hanbin, but I lost him—and it might be forever, but I don’t think I can even live without him anymore. I don’t want to live a life or know a life without him.”
“What I’m getting from this is that he found out?” Gyuvin sighs.
“He did,” Hao confirms, miserable and tired. “He found out and he ended things with me. But… but he said he loves me so why—”
“He’s hurt, Hao hyung,” Yujin interrupts, patting Hao on the shoulder comfortingly. His response is mature but Hao does not want to hear it.
“Why didn’t he fight for me?” Hao slumps into his friends’ hold, letting them carry his weight. “Why… why did he give up so easily if he loves me?”
It’s not an answerable question. His friends exchange glances over his head, having a silent conversation with him, but Hao cannot bring himself to care, closing his eyes to see flashes of his memories with Hanbin, when they were happy together—when Hanbin hadn’t found out he was a liar.
“Don’t dwell too long on the past,” Ricky suggests, cutting through Hao’s recollection of his former lover. “Focus on what you can do now instead of what already happened.”
“He doesn’t want me anymore. He hates me,” Hao says against all reason. He knows Hanbin still loves him. It doesn’t feel that way though.
“Did he say that?” Ricky raises an eyebrow. “Why would he send us to take care of you if he hates you? Maybe he just needs some time. Be patient, Hao ge.”
Hao doesn’t want to be patient. He doesn’t want to wait in agony, wondering if Hanbin will ever forgive him, if he knows deep down that Hao loves him. Like always, he is selfish, willing a tree to grow to shield him from the sun.
“I miss him,” Hao whispers. “I miss him so much.”
“You need to make a choice: do you want to attend your dream school more than you want Hanbin hyung to be yours? You can only defend one. Hanbin hyung might not accept your love otherwise.”
It’s completely irrational, Hao’s mother would say, to give up all that you have worked for since high school for some… boy. Her disappointed eyes shining in the glow of his youth, his father right by her side, a pillar in their radiating displeasure. He promised himself to never fail seeing their response to his inability to overcome obstacles, when he was young and careless, and success is all he has known since then.
Success.
Is success worth the price of Hanbin? Does success not involve Hanbin in his life?
Thoughts and debates swirl internally. It’s all pointless. Hao’s heart has made the decision since the moment Hanbin asked.
“Tell me, if given the choice between me and being vice president, what would you choose?”
You, Hao wishes he could tell Hanbin. You, I would choose you to be mine a thousand lifetimes over. There’s nothing I can’t do if you’re with me. You’re my gift from the gods, too, Bin-ah.
“I guess you have your answer,” Ricky smiles.
In the following days, Hao stays out of commission, allowing his friends to bring him any work he has to complete. The work consists of filling out a few papers for a club he manages and a reminder from one of his professors to get his essay turned in on time.
Ricky stays with him the most, taking care of his meals and offering silent support, while Yujin tries despite his rigorous high school schedule holding him hostage. It’s unspoken that Gyuvin visits the least because he moves between Hao and Hanbin, stuck in the middle of the end of their fiery romance.
“You’re a good friend, Gyuvin-ah,” Hao tells him spontaneously, as Gyuvin enters his bedroom with a glass of water for Hao to drink. “Hyung really appreciates you being here.” Even though I’m the friend who wronged your other hyung.
“Of course, hyung,” Gyuvin smiles kindly, and—oh, Hao wants to cry again. “I love you and I’m here for you.”
The atmosphere is quiet save for Hao’s gulps of water. Gyuvin guides the cup to his mouth and takes it away to place on the table as Hao wipes his lips with the back of his sleeve. Unwillingly, he thinks about how Hanbin would laugh at him, eyes scrunching into crescents, and gently, Hanbin would kiss the moisture on Hao’s lips onto his own.
“How… how is Hanbin, by the way?” Hao notes the way Gyuvin freezes like a deer caught in headlights. “I know you’ve been going to see him. I just wanna know if he’s okay.”
“He’s—he’s okay,” Gyuvin sighs, shaking his head as he sets the glass down. “Since the elections are ongoing, he’s had to stand by and manage the voting booths, so he’s definitely getting a lot more sunshine than you. Unlike you, though, he has to mask his emotions. He’s just… not talking about it. He’s been crying, but he pretends he isn’t in public. Everyone’s upset about it.”
Gyuvin doesn’t say it, but Hao knows that “everyone” entails Hanbin’s friends, and they’re not just upset, but they’re fuming at Hao. He would be as well, if it was his friends on the receiving end of his actions. Surprisingly, only Matthew has sent him a message about the situation.
matthew
i don’t know why hanbin hyung is acting like this or why you’ve dropped off the face of this planet, but i hope it’s not because of the recent rumors going around.
you’re both my good friends, but i hope you know that what people are saying you did was wrong.
please, work it out.
Hao did not respond.
After Gyuvin leaves, Ricky takes his place. The nice quality about Ricky is that he somehow knows that silence makes Hao think, makes ants crawl under his skin and invade his mind with thoughts of Hanbin—regrets . Ricky doesn’t let the silence linger, opting to take up small talk and update Hao about the election.
“People aren’t really happy with what you did to Hanbin hyung,” Ricky informs him, popping a strawberry into his mouth. “You’re both really well-loved around campus, but because of recent revelations, people aren’t as willing to vote for you. Your lack of presence on campus is just making everyone think that you’re guilty, and Hanbin’s fake smile speaks for itself. He’s refusing to comment on the situation when someone asks him about it, but your reputation precedes you: people think you’re at fault. I’m not sure if you’ll come out on top this time.”
“I don’t care,” Hao croaks out, swiping at his eyes. “I don’t care who hates me and what they say about me as long as it’s not my Bin.”
“You should try to talk to him,” Ricky suggests, pausing to eat another strawberry. His tone is indifferent, as though he doesn’t really care, but Hao has seen him worried enough times to know that he is merely holding himself back to not make Hao more emotional than he already is. “This is clearly making you both miserable. Try having one more conversation with Hanbin hyung.”
“Will he even want to talk to me?” Hao asks, the possibilities filling his head. He swallows the rising bile in his throat, afraid. “I hurt him.”
“He probably won’t,” Ricky shrugs, “but he’ll still hear you out. I think you're underestimating how much he loves you. It hurts him to be cruel, too.”
me
bin
i’m sorry
i’m so sorry
there’s nothing i can say to excuse myself
please give me a chance to make it up
please baobei
messages not delivered!
try again?
Turns out, Hao doesn’t need to search out for Hanbin—Hanbin comes straight to him.
The night of the second day that voting runs through, Ricky tells him that the student government is going to announce the winners in the afternoon the next day, when the election is well and truly over, and it is going to be Hanbin who shares this news with everyone.
“I bet he already knows who won by now,” Ricky shrugs, scrubbing the dishes that have been piling in Hao’s sink. Hao appreciates it, too invested in his own gloom to be productive. “They should have finished counting the votes.”
“Oh.”
There’s this odd feeling that comes along with mentioning the person who shifted Hao’s world on its axis, a feeling of yearning that pinches his heart with its greed. It carves the insides of the organ out, hollowed and empty, and Hao can’t think about anything beyond this hurt. He cannot think of how he can survive without Hanbin in his life, because if their end aches this terribly, Hao cannot fathom a fate worse than this—not even death. Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, a trace of who he craves for, and yet, somehow, erasing Hanbin’s presence from Hao’s life is worse than talking about him at all.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Ricky interrupts his train of thought, breaking him away from the edge of a cliff he’s been frequenting recently. Hao inhales sharply at being jolted from his reverie, Ricky remaining unaware. “About Hanbin hyung, I mean. Are you really going to accept the end as it is?”
“Yes,” Hao confirms, bowing his head to avoid Ricky’s suddenly piercing gaze. “I’m not going to do anything about it.”
“What?” Ricky frowns, as though he had not expected Hao’s answer in the slightest. He carelessly wipes his hands on the kitchen towel and walks over to the couch where Hao is moping, voice interrogative. “That’s it? You’re just giving up? You’re not going to fight for him?”
“Fight for him?” Hao erupts laughing, clutching his stomach as tears stream down his face in sparkling rivulets, humorless. He can’t stop crying, giggles fading into sobs and sobs morphing into heaving coughs. “No, Ricky, he fucking hates me now. Some things are left better alone. At least this way, I don’t become the crazy obsessed stalker ex.” Hao smiles to himself, eyes lost in their own world. “Even though I feel like one. Even though I want to kill anyone who even thinks about Hanbin being theirs while I exist in this world.”
Ricky stares at him in disbelief. “You act like that but you still pretend like you’ll be able to let Hanbin go eventually.”
“I won’t,” Hao replies, “but it’s better than bothering him with my feelings and driving him away for good.”
Ricky rolls his eyes. “You’re so stupid. I’m seriously going to have the last laugh. Can’t you see that he doesn’t want you to leave his life? He’s just hurt. Time heals wounds, and that’s what he needs right now—you’ll see.”
Hao chooses not to dignify that with a response.
Ricky leaves after that, reminding Hao to take care of himself despite them both knowing his words have fallen onto deaf ears. With Ricky gone, the air is colder than before. The apartment is silent, no noise to distract Hao from his irrepressible thoughts of regret, and with no rational being to stop him, Hao scrolls through his messages with Hanbin, prompted by his mind’s search for warmth.
He finds that what used to send butterflies crawling around his stomach is now what breaks the dam to his tears for the thousandth-time. There’s not many messages, particularly because they preferred to call, but the ones Hao does see creates waves of nausea in his stomach.
bin
baby
are you in your apartment?
me
yep
why? did you leave smth here?
i should get you a key to my place soon
i’ll leave the door unlocked for you
bin
i would love that but that’s not it
and stop leaving the door unlocked, hyung, be safe
you’ve been kind of quiet and upset today
i assume it’s because you didn’t perform as well as you thought you would on that exam you’ve been studying very hard for
so i brought some snacks and thought i could offer my princess some company
me
*(&@!@(!)?????
baobei :(
get inside and kiss me rn
bin
on it
“God, Zhang Hao,” Hao says to himself, wiping his tears away with the back of his hands. “You’re so pathetic. How could you fuck up the one thing that genuinely made you happy?”
As soon as he removes the dampness on his skin, breathing in slowly through his nose to stop the onslaught of hiccups, Hao hears his doorbell echo through his home, a sign that someone is outside his door. The last thing Hao wants to do is get up and check who it is, but if it is Ricky, Gyuvin, or Yujin, he doesn’t want to keep them waiting and make their jobs harder than it needs to be. They’ve already done so much for him.
Sluggishly, Hao rises from his seat on the couch, making his way to the door and praying it’s merely a ding-dong ditcher, because he doesn’t have the energy to pretend he’s fine so his friends don’t worry. At the very least, Hao hopes, don’t let it be Yujin. That kid will end up telling Ricky and Gyuvin about it, and they’ll all hover around him like mother hens.
It is not Yujin. It is Hanbin.
Hao’s breath is knocked out of his chest at the sight of the boy who broke his heart (or, rather, whose heart Hao broke). Sung Hanbin, in all his awkward glory, is standing right in front of Hao, not quite meeting Hao’s eye. He’s dressed in an emerald green bomber jacket with white sleeves and black jeans, and he looks so handsome that Hao knows that if Hanbin had shown himself like this a week ago, Hao would have jumped on him in a second.
“Hi,” Hanbin says quietly. He bows his head formally, and Hao is in too much shock to do anything other than reciprocate the action.
When Hanbin lifts his head, the fog in Hao’s mind clears slightly and he finally perceives Hanbin’s state: his eyes are groggy, droopy and sad, as though he’s experienced too much in the last year alone, looking, for a lack of better words, exhausted. Hao can’t help but think how out-of-place Hanbin seems in front of the doorway to the apartment he’s visited countless times before—a stranger to a familiar place. The thought makes him unpleasantly queasy.
“Bin,” Hao whispers in lieu of an actual greeting, resisting the urge to step into Hanbin’s arms and cry his sorrows away. He wants to, frighteningly so, but Hao fears pushing Hanbin away for good more than anything, so he sucks up his impulses and takes the safer route. “What—what are you doing here?”
"We counted up the votes.” Hanbin speaks plainly and fast, opting out of beating around the bush. It’s bittersweet, the satiation of his curiosity and Hao’s disappointment that their conversation is obviously being shortened. “I came to tell you the results. You lost.”
“Oh.”
There’s a pause then, the revelation washing over Hao as Hanbin watches him indifferently. For a moment, Hao is dismayed, dolefulness churning bile up his throat. He’s spent so long trying to better his chance at his dream school, working himself to the ground and going on this extensive and frankly miserable journey to become the university’s student body vice president, only to lose the election and weaken his possibility of getting into that graduate school.
But…
“I don’t care,” Hao realizes, reaching out to hold onto Hanbin’s arm. “I really don’t care, Bin-ah.”
“What?” Hanbin is frowning, concern painted on his features as he weakly tries to pull his arm away.
“Bin-ah, I’m sorry,” Hao says, and recognizing that this may be the last chance Hao has to make it all right, he rushes to talk. It’s with this apology that everything Hao’s kept cooped up inside of him comes flowing out, barrier broken. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the hell I’ve put you through, for using you, for never telling you the truth even when I realized my love for you is real—and the list just goes on, and—” Hao doesn’t stop rambling, adrenaline and his fear of losing Hanbin propelling him forward, “and there’s truly nothing I can say to justify what I did. I was wrong, baobei, and I’m sorry. I just… I don’t care about getting that stupid position, I just want you. Please believe m—”
“What about your dream school?” Hanbin asks, cutting off Hao’s spiel, forearm tense under his fingers. He sounds afraid of Hao’s answer. “What… what are you going to do now that you’re not vice president?”
“I can do other extracurriculars,” Hao suggests, inching forward. “I’ll figure it out, Bin. Being part of the board of our student council isn’t the only thing I can do, but there’s only one Sung Hanbin and I can’t give that up. I don’t even care about my dream school if it means I can be with you. Please, Bin-ah.”
“I…” Hanbin’s arm hangs limp on his side, forgoing his earlier resistance. Uncertainty is etched on his face, clear as day, and Hao sees it as his personal mission to wipe that away and replace it with something with a lot more hope. “I don’t know. I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to be hurt again by you.”
“I know,” Hao laughs out a breath, tinged with desperation. “But Hanbin, I love you. I never lied to you about that. I’ve liked you since the moment I saw you, even though I was stupid enough to not call off the plan until later—”
“What?” Hanbin narrows his eyebrows, his head snapping in Hao’s direction. “What do you mean by ‘not call off the plan until later’?”
Unsure where this conversation is headed, Hao hesitantly explains, “After we had sex, I told my friends that I would be seeing you with the intentions of dating rather than trying to get the vice president position because I was in love with you. Even after I’d gotten into your pants, I wasn’t satisfied or—or pleased that I had run the course of my plan; I was warm and happy being beside you, Bin. I guess that’s when I realized I’ve liked you longer than I noticed.”
“Oh,” Hanbin says dumbly.
Hanbin doesn’t speak after that, keeping his eyes on where Hao hasn’t relented his tight grasp on Hanbin’s arm, the view of them blocked by his long eyelashes. Initially, Hao assumes Hanbin needs time to process what Hao has said, so he remains quiet, waiting for Hanbin to acknowledge him again. However, Hanbin doesn’t, and the air between them grows colder with no movement and no talking, only serving to ignite the flames of Hao’s anxiety once more.
“I—did I fuck up again?” Hao nervously questions, not registering how Hanbin’s arm flexes under his increasingly sweaty hands. “Bin-ah, tell me what I did wrong. I can’t lose you ag—”
His sentence is cut short when Hanbin surges forward and ties their lips together, Hao squeaking in surprise. Hands digging into Hao’s hips, pulling him closer and closer until not even air can pass in between them, Hanbin kisses Hao with a purpose, with vigor, as though this is their last kiss. His urgency pushes Hao backwards into his apartment, the door clicking shut behind Hanbin.
Panicked, Hao tugs on Hanbin’s shirt, the cloth curling in his fists as he allows Hanbin to lick into his mouth, eager to keep Hanbin in his arms tonight. He can’t let go of Hanbin, not tonight, not ever , and if Hanbin bestows Hao the torture of kissing him like he loves him and then leaving him with the vision of what could have been, Hao will call him as cruel as he had been, using Hanbin as he did.
Wherever Hanbin touches, Hao’s skin sears with heat, branded with the hot iron of Hanbin’s caress. He’s spent days yearning for for Hanbin’s embrace, for Hanbin to kiss him like the world is ending and they will be the first to go, and now that it is here, Hao can’t find what to do with himself, alternating between pressing into Hanbin’s mouth and hauling him impossibly nearer. He’s unable to open his eyes in fear of seeing a figment of his imagination rather than Hanbin, the glory of his flesh and bones absent and leaving in its wake a deeply etched hollow in Hao’s heart.
They eventually part due to the necessity for air. Hao’s forehead falls onto Hanbin’s shoulder, resigned, wondering if this is the end for them. His tears are dropping before he realizes it, bleeding through Hanbin’s shirt and wetting the other’s skin.
“I’m still hurt,” Hanbin starts, slowly sighing, seemingly having come to a decision. “But I don’t want to think about what you could’ve done better when you’re so regretful as it is. I came here under the pretense that I was just sharing the election results with you and deluded myself into thinking it meant nothing, like this whole visit wasn’t just an excuse to see you and see how you’re doing. Like I wasn’t desperate for a glimpse of you because I love you, hyung.”
“You…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a proper chance to explain yourself last time,” Hanbin releases a heavy breath. His thumbs circulate reassuringly into the skin of Hao’s stomach, his shirt bunched up on top of Hanbin’s wrists. “I felt betrayed, and it made me act in a way I’ve never—”
“Don’t apologize,” Hao shushes, placing his palm over Hanbin’s abused lips, red and shiny with drying spit. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I still hurt you, hyung…” Hanbin trails off, leaning into the expanse of Hao’s neck to leave a feather-light kiss. “I’m sorry. Can we try again? This time without the lies. This time, we’ll love each other openly and honestly. We’ll go at our own pace—whatever feels right.” At Hao’s prolonged silence, Hanbin hesitates, lifting his head. “Or we don’t—”
“Yes,” Hao gasps, cupping Hanbin’s jaw in his hands. “Yes, yes, yes—a thousand times yes. Let’s try again.” He kisses Hanbin, slow and sweet, and Hanbin reciprocates with a small laugh, losing himself to Hao’s touches. “Thank you for giving us another chance, Bin-ah, you—”
Embarrassingly enough, Hao chokes up, somehow still being able to cry after he believed he had run dry of all tears. Tenderly and unquestioningly, Hanbin wipes away his tears, kissing the apples of Hao’s cheeks so gently that Hao can only cry harder, knowing Hanbin is there to continue keeping his face clean. He buries his face, wet and snotty, into Hanbin’s collarbone, above the tattoo line of constellations.
They stand there in silence, taking in their new relationship in each other’s arms.
“You know,” Hao sniffs, “I’m still expecting that grand proposal where you ask me to be your boyfriend.”
“Okay,” Hanbin easily agrees, amusement coloring his voice.
“Where I can take pictures and post us on my social media and announce to everyone that you’re my boyfriend. I would right now but the current state of both me and my home cannot be shared.”
“But hyung, you look beautiful.”
“Yeah, after I cried? Stop lying to me, Hanbin,” Hao glares petulantly, going back to hide his face in Hanbin’s shoulder. “And I want us to be kissing in one of them so no one thinks we’re just friends.”
“Okay.”
“And I want us to get promise rings,” Hao adds, eyes gleaming with the possibilities now that Hanbin is his. “Well, after we become boyfriends, of course—”
“Wait, we’re not dating?” Hanbin frowns, and the confusion in his voice has Hao raising his head in similar bewilderment.
“We are?”
“I thought you just wanted that proposal for show, not for the actual becoming boyfriends part,” Hanbin explains, eyebrows narrowed in concentration.
Hao pauses. “It’s a little bit of both.”
“I’ll do it if it makes you happy,” Hanbin exhales nervously, “but before that, I need to tell you something.”
“What did you do?” Hao prays that Hanbin is not taking back his words. Fear grips him in an instant: will Hanbin say he doesn’t actually love Hao and he was doing this to hurt Hao as much as he was hurt? No… Hanbin isn’t that type of person… or is he?
“I lied to you,” Hanbin admits. Before Hao can become hysterical and lock his doors and windows to stop Hanbin from leaving him, Hanbin continues, “About the election. You and Choi Soobin tied in votes.”
“Oh,” Hao says. He’s not sure how to feel, not wanting to get his hopes up in case it gets immediately squashed. “What… What does that mean for me? How will you guys decide who will receive the position?”
“It’s my decision that’ll break the tie,” Hanbin shrugs, “and I choose you. But just in case, I added an extra vote to your box, so no one knows it’s a tie except for us. Everyone will assume you won, and no one will guess what I’ve done because they think I hate you right now.”
“I hope we never see each other again. Good luck on the election.”
“You’ve always wanted to keep me close, didn’t you?” Hao means for his words to come off teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of emotion that he fails to hide. Staring into the mahogany door, head over Hanbin’s torso, Hao swallows the feverish affection he is hit with. “Is that why you wished me good luck for the election, even though you said you didn’t want to see me again?”
“I was hoping we would be stuck with each other, yes,” Hanbin laughs, his whisker dimples illuminated by the nearby kitchen lights. “Even if I hated you, I still wanted you. But I was always planning on changing the results if you didn’t win, and I’m sure you would have if those rumors about us didn’t spread!” Hanbin huffs, and the action is so cute that Hao can only feel love as he gazes at Hanbin. “I didn’t want you to lose your chance at your dream school, so it was always my plan to do this. Are… are you mad?”
Hao kisses Hanbin wordlessly, which is an answer of itself.
ma
How is studying going?
Hello?
Haohao.
What are you doing?
Are you not studying?
me
I don’t have anything to study or practice tonight. It’s been a busy day. I’m going to bed early.
ma
Are you slacking off?
I knew I shouldn’t have sent you off to South Korea where I can’t keep my eyes on you.
How are you going to get into graduate school if you act like this?
Do you want to shame our Zhang name?
me
Goodnight, ma.
“Hello everyone, and welcome to our last student council meeting of the year!” Hanbin smiles kindly as the students in the lecture room clap for him raucously. The soles of Hao’s feet bounce in excitement at the buzzed energy. “Our agenda today consists of discussing our involvement in setting up and directing graduation, as well as introducing next year’s board. Next slide, please.”
Hanbin goes on to explain the intricacies of what role they’re meant to play at graduation. Hao retains none of the instruction, occupied with admiring the handsome movement of Hanbin’s jaw as he speaks. He’s not too worried about that, though, because Hanbin will undoubtedly fill Hao in with what he’s missed, unable to scold Hao.
(“Am I spoiled?” Hao questions later that same day, crossing his arms and frowning at Hanbin.
Hanbin, not in the loop, draws Hao in by the hips. “Baby, what are you talking about?”
“Am I spoiled? Tell me the truth!”
“Okay, okay, slow down, hyung. What brought this on?”
“I told Ricky about how you woke me up later and helped me get dressed, and also how you made me my favorite breakfast—”
“Wait, it was your favorite?”
“Well, it is now—but anyway. I told him about how you dropped me off to all of my classes today and privately told off anyone who was talking bad about me because of the rumors, which are true, mind you. And when I said you told me the information in the meeting that I didn’t pay attention to, he claimed that I’m spoiled with your love and that I deserved to be yelled at for being an incompetent vice president, so he yelled at me in place of you. So, answer the question, am I really spoiled?”
“Of course not, baby,” Hanbin smiles, placing a soft kiss against Hao’s jugular. “I love you, and I would do anything to make you happy. This is nothing. Ricky’s your friend—maybe he’s trying to keep you humble?”
Ricky was, in fact, right. Hao is spoiled with Hanbin’s love. He realizes this when Matthew informs him that Hanbin scolded him to the point of Jiwoong intervening for merely forgetting to write down certain points in his summary of the student council meeting, when Hao hadn’t listened to a single word in that meeting.)
The meeting passes by quickly. Hao finds that club meetings can be especially enjoyable when there’s a handsome man to admire. Hanbin catches his eyes a few times, winking in his direction with an endearing dimple to supply his silent message. Hao swoons and grins back without meaning to.
“To wrap up this meeting, we’ll be introducing the student body officers for next year’s student government,” Hanbin concludes, pausing at the applause that receives his words. “I’m sure some of you have heard the results via the PA announcement this morning, but if you weren’t on campus then, we’ll tell you now.”
A couple of gazes land on Hao’s body, curious and possibly knowing of his victory. He thinks of meeting their stares and scaring them off, but he ultimately ignores them in favor of keeping his eyes on Hanbin.
“First, we have our treasurer,” Hanbin announces. “Kim Jiwoong.”
Hao cheers for him as Jiwoong stumbles down the steps of the lecture room, formally shaking Hanbin’s hand as he finds his place next to him.
“Unsurprisingly, our secretary is Seok Matthew,” Hanbin says, making a reference to their joint campaign.
Matthew comes down from his seat, sending Hao a grateful look when he sees that Hao is clapping passionately. It’s a thank you, Hao realizes. Matthew had wanted him and Hanbin to make up and his thanks has manifested as this. He goes to shake Hanbin’s hand and situates himself in between Jiwoong and Hanbin, letting go of Hanbin’s hold to allow Jiwoong’s hand to encase his.
“Lastly, our vice president—drum roll, please—is…” Hanbin waits for people to beat against the tables, fueling the anticipation hanging in the air.
Hao is embarrassed to admit, but despite knowing he’s the winner of this battle, a thrum of anxiety flashes down his spine. What if Hanbin was lying to him? What if he made Hao think he got the position as revenge for using him? Hao wouldn’t blame him, knowing what he’s done to Hanbin, but that would be cruel. Too cruel.
But Hanbin’s eyes dart to him at that moment, soft around the edges in a way that only Sung Hanbin can be when looking at Hao. The apples of his cheeks lift, lips curving upward, and Hao’s doubts are dispelled. Hanbin wouldn’t do that to him. Hanbin loves him.
“Zhang Hao,” Hanbin says, watching Hao tenderly. The drum roll Hanbin asked for stops. “Congratulations.”
“It’s him?”
“Man, I thought for certain he would be kicked off the running after news of what he did came out.”
“Are we sure he won fair and square…? Look at how Sung Hanbin is looking at him.”
“The rumors might be false in the first place.”
“Right? I voted for him because he managed the Chinese Heritage Club really well and made it a very inclusive space, and because I believe in his character.”
“If you two say so…”
Hao steps down from his seat, his eye contact with Hanbin not broken for a second. He walks right up to Hanbin, grabbing Hanbin’s hand before the man has it up and vigorously shaking it. Hanbin is grinning when Hao lets go.
“I won,” Hao says.
“I know. I made sure of it,” Hanbin whispers, gesturing for Hao to stand next to him so he can continue speaking to the crowd. “Can you—”
Because Hao lives life his own way—and because he’s trying to make a statement—Hao plants a kiss square on Hanbin’s lips before he can be pushed to the side. He pulls back to see Hanbin’s comically expanded eyes and slackened jaw, listening to the burst of murmurs that have exploded behind him. From his peripheral vision, Hao sees Jiwoong and Matthew attempting to hold back their laughs. Then, Hao obediently takes his place next to Hanbin as though he had done nothing.
“W–Well…” Hanbin stutters, clearing his throat when his voice cracks. His ears are flushed red, the flames licking into his cheeks as well. It’s cute how flustered he is, Hao thinks fondly. “Uhm, I’ll let Jiwoong hyung take the stage and tell us a little bit about himself.”
As Jiwoong talks, followed by Matthew, Hanbin leans in to talk in Hao’s ear. “You little minx.”
“Am I?” Hao feigns ignorance. “You seemed to enjoy it.”
“I’ll deal with you at home,” Hanbin mumbles.
“...and I’ll be your student body secretary for next year. Please take care of me.” Matthew ends his speech with a bow—meaning it’s Hao’s turn to introduce himself.
“Hello, everyone. I’m Zhang Hao, your student body vice president,” Hao waves in greeting. “I’m from Fujian, China, and I’m very involved on and outside of campus, so I’m sure some of you have heard of me from various projects I have worked on. I’m also Sung Hanbin’s boyfriend. It’s nice to formally meet you all. Thank you.”
“Thank you, hyung. Alright, that concludes our last meeting of the year,” Hanbin follows quickly amidst the growing chatter. “I look forward to seeing everyone next year. Thank you!”
“So, how did I do, Bin-ah?” Hao asks as soon as Hanbin stops talking, turning his boyfriend towards him by pulling on his shirt. Nevermind the hoard of people who are coming to speak to Hanbin, possibly saying their thanks or leaving questions they were not able to ask during the meeting. “Did I do good?”
“You did,” Hanbin confirms, cupping Hao’s jaw reverently. “Thank you, hyung.”
“Okay, I really didn’t want to be the one bursting your bubble, but you two literally stopped talking for two days… Why are you acting like it was a whole year?” Matthew asks, baffled.
This confrontation has been brewing for the last few hours, Hao can admit. But it’s not his fault! Hanbin’s arms are just so secure and warm, a feeling of home Hao can’t get from anyone else. He becomes more content when he remembers that Hanbin is his boyfriend and not the student body president he’s trying to seduce anymore.
“We’ve been in a relationship longer than them and somehow they’re worse than us,” Ricky adds, gesturing between him and Gyuvin, who keeps his head buried in Ricky’s neck, seemingly disinterested in the conversation. “And—ow—okay, jeez, I take it back—Qubing, stop biting me! ”
“Are you comfortable?” Hanbin whispers to Hao, intimate and close as he ignores the conversation going on around them. His words travel to Hao’s ear only, and Hao has to bite his lower lip to keep himself from donning a full-blown smile. “Do you need anything?”
“I’m fine, Bin-ah,” Hao answers, similarly controlling his words to carry in a low voice. Hanbin’s thumb rubs against the flesh of Hao’s stomach, familiar and reassuring. It’s something he’s been doing since their encounter in the library, back when Hao’s intentions were vastly different from now, but the mannerism reminds him less of that and more of Hanbin’s love that began to bubble even then. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“Of course not,” Hanbin shakes his head, leaning down to where Hao’s ear is pressed against his chest, listening to his lover’s steady heartbeat, to kiss the corner of his mouth delicately. “You’re so cute, hyung. I want to eat you.”
“You already did,” Hao groans, sleepily mumbling under his breath. “It’s time to rest, baobei.”
Hao thinks they must be fate, the way his body slots against Hanbin’s and feels right . There’s a blanket draped over their bodies, hiding them from the view of their friends. The thought enters his mind before he can doze off into the darkness of sleep that awaits him: what if Hanbin cockwarmed him through his nap?
“Do you guys want chips?” Gunwook stands, walking to the door with Yujin following. Taerae gets up with his phone stuck to his face, texting someone as he moves.
“Are there plain potato chips?”
“Talk about boring…”
It’s nice that whatever Hao wants, he gets. It’s also nice that Hanbin is apparently capable of reading his mind.
“Hao hyung is tired,” Hanbin supplies, drawing the attention of the boys. “We’ll join in a bit after hyung rests up.”
“Fine by us,” Gyuvin speaks for the group. They all shuffle out, Jiwoong shutting the door behind him as he nods at Hanbin.
“Shift your hips,” Hanbin says into Hao’s ear, tugging the waistband of the older’s sweatpants down as Hao wiggles into the appropriate—or, rather, inappropriate—position. Neither of them are wearing boxers, courtesy of what they had been doing before their friends stumbled into Hao’s apartment for an impromptu celebration for election season being over. “Thank you, baby.”
Hao is too drowsy to truly register Hanbin somehow freeing his cock amidst the chaos of their stirring, but he’s present enough to sigh happily when a hardness is inserted inside the walls of his softened hole, Hanbin gently prodding him with fingers and whispered reassurances. Hao settles easily, squirming to make sure the entire length of Hanbin’s cock is inside, before dropping his head on Hanbin’s decorated collarbone. A row of constellations stare back at him when he cracks an eye open to see Hanbin pulling the blanket tighter around Hao.
“What? No one’s here.”
“Even so,” Hanbin grumbles.
“Does Hanbinnie not like it when other people see hyung like this?” Hao teases, giggling when Hanbin’s arms tighten around his torso.
“If anyone but me sees hyung like this, I will kill them,” Hanbin promises, kissing Hao’s hair. His actions are tender, the way he has always treated Hao, and Hao feels his heart squeeze pleasantly at the sight of Hanbin’s loving eyes. “And then I’ll lock Hao hyung in my apartment so he can’t run away, so I can be the only person to love him and fuck him. Hyung knows he’s stuck with me forever now, doesn’t he?”
“Sounds good,” Hao shrugs breezily. “A life with Hanbinnie, no matter what, will always be my choice. It should be the same for you, too, okay? If you have another lover, I’ll kill them in front of your eyes. I’ll show you how crazy I can be.”
“I can’t wait,” Hanbin laughs.
“Speaking of our life together,” Hao mumbles against Hanbin’s shoulder, “what are we going to do when I go back to China for graduate school?”
Hanbin is silent. His finger gently cascades through Hao’s hair when he says, “I don’t know. We’ll figure it out, no? I can’t live a life without having you in some capacity.”
“You know, Hanbin, I don’t think I can either,” Hao says, knowing Hanbin is listening intently. He lets himself feel the glide of Hanbin’s touch on his scalp as he sighs. “I… Well, I guess I was thinking about how we would be separated for four years, and God knows how many years after that—”
“It’s okay, I can apply to a university in China, and I can learn Mandarin,” Hanbin rushes to say, shushing Hao indirectly. Hao shuffles so he can peek an eye at Hanbin, watching his lover with affection. “But… maybe that would be too soon. I still need to inform my parents and sister about this sudden decision. The language barrier will be tough, too, but that’s not really a concern for me, and we both might be busy. Hm…”
“Hanbin,” Hao smiles, “I don’t want to leave South Korea.”
The motion of Hanbin’s hand pauses. “What?”
“I thought about it,” Hao shrugs, keeping his head on Hanbin’s shoulder. “I applied to this university and came here to not only have a higher chance at getting into my dream school in China, but also so I could get away from my parents—and my hard work all paid off because I met you. Hanbin, I don’t want to leave just to get trapped in what I need to do for my parents to be proud. I don’t want to waste time trying to meet my parents’ unrealistic expectations for me. I want to stay here, with you, with the people we love, and spend the rest of our lives together. I don’t care whether I’m with you here or in China, but I don’t want to go back right now. For now, let’s just… let’s just be together, Hanbin.”
“Okay, hyung,” Hanbin accepts, hugging Hao tighter and sounding suspiciously close to tears. There’s a growing wet stain on Hao’s shirt, and Hao can only lift his hand to rub Hanbin’s cheek comfortingly. “Okay. I support you. I… Thank you.”
“My crybaby,” Hao says in Mandarin, devotion dripping from each word.
Hao falls asleep after that, lulled by the hums of their friends’ chatter outside and the warmth of Hanbin inside.
He wakes up much later, the two of them alone on Hao’s bed, Hanbin spearing into him. Hao likes it, though. He likes anything as long as it’s with Hanbin. It’s no wonder that Hanbin has to carry Hao to the bathroom to clean up when they’re finished.