Arena of Eros

by Phoenix_Reads

Summary:

DK just can't stand Mario, but he’ll work with the guy when he has to. The latest antagonist against the duo lands the boys in the arena. Stakes get high when a poison-tipped arrow amplifies DK’s emotions and turns the begrudging ally into a deadly weapon.

Notes:

Cw: Blood. Steamy and suggestive content. Donkey Kong.

As always, I’m giving DK impressive canines. He looks better with sharp teeth, ok? Also, special thank you to @VerbenaHuet for being my beta reader!

Chapter 1

It was a trap. They chased the villain all the way here and it ended up being a trap! And what a stupid trap it was. While their latest villain was blabbering on and working the crowd, DK took a minute to sneer at his surroundings.

The battle arena surrounding them was filled with pillars and high stone walls. Everything was covered in vines, some in particular easy enough to swing on. It was like they wanted to give an advantage to the heroes. Especially considering one of the duo was the kong prince and Jungle Kingdom Champion! 

Former , a nagging voice said in the back of DK’s head. Former Champ- DK squashed it down. Regardless, DK had a winning streak when it came to battle arenas, and having that pesky plumber by his side this time didn’t hurt. As a bonus, Mario’s mushroom powerup hadn’t worn off yet.

The advantageous environment wasn’t lost to Mario. DK’s good mood soured when the human dared lean in all chummy-like. Mario ignored his glaring pout as he half-whispered to the prince.

“I don’t think this idiota knows what he’s up against,” Mario said. His blue eyes scanned over the vines and ridged walls. “Even if he somehow has Rabbid Kong chained back there, there isn’t anyone alive who could win a fight against you and I in this place.”

“You mean me ,” DK said. He waggled his brow at the human. “You can sit this one out, kitty-cat, I got this one covered.” Mario lifted a brow of his own.

“Me? Sit back?”

“If you want to waste your energy - sure, go ahead and join in!” DK leaned in close, baring his fangs. “But you know damn well that I’ll be carrying the team.”

Mario was prepared to turn this into a competition. But by then, the host of the arena - some King K. Rool lackey with wings - was announcing the competitors. Arm outstretched, he flit about the arena with his back to the men.

“Joining us today is our greatest enemies!” he said. The entire crowd booed. “Mario and Donkey Konggggg! ” The intense beat of drums rang out.

DK puffed his chest out proudly when there was extra emphasis on his name. He side eyed Mario with a smile. Once he was sure he had his ally’s full attention, he began his usual showboating.

“ That’s right!” He called over the banging drums and the booing crowd. He pounded his chest and danced about. “We’re here to bring your champion down! ” Much to Mario’s embarrassment, the teammate flexed his biceps, stomped the ground, swung on vines, then clambered up walls and pillars to dance where the seething crowd could see him better. It was like he did all he could to be the clown in this circus. Finally getting his fill, DK enthusiastically pointed at the flying Kremling. “You!” DK said in good humor, “Don’t keep the fans waiting! Who are we up against?”

The kremling tilted his head as the drums tapered down.

“Didn’t I say already?” he said. Part of DK’s brow lowered, but he didn’t lose his smile. The kremling pretends to think about it for a moment. Then a large smile was returned to the kong. “OH! I see. I misspoke. Did I say Mario and Donkey Kong?” He turned to the crowd. “I mean it’s Mario versus Donkey Kong!!!”

DK’s smile shrunk as confusion set in. His eyes darted up and down the enemy’s form. Mario was right, this guy is an idiota. Still, DK’s humor remained.

“That’s gonna be a problem,” DK said. A teasing smile was cast over his shoulder down to the red plumber. “Mario doesn’t stand a chance against me without his cat costume.” Mario didn’t look amused. Good. In seconds, the physically superior kong dropped to the ground and was by his companion’s side. “Don’t worry so much, Mario~ As much as I’d love to kick your ass, we-” A whistling sound rang out.

“Look out!” Mario said. He moved forward to push DK out of the way. Arrow hit first, Mario hit second. DK was shoved by his shoulder and sent tumbling away. “DK?” No response. “DK!”

The crowd was cheering wildly. Mario looked up to see the Kremling frozen, still holding the empty bow, waiting in anticipation. DK stirred. Mario stepped back. The mound of fur slowly dragged himself to his feet. Lazy eyes looked towards Mario. With slow deliberation, the kong reached for the arrow and yanked it out. Mario winced. Blood was mixed with something green.

Mario had the wisdom to not say anything yet. Instinct told him that any utterance or movement would trigger the prince to enact whatever the kremling’s will would be. So the allies held their staring contest. The only movement from Mario was his pounding heart.

“Mario! You think I’m the “idiota” here?” the kremling said. Mario hadn't realized the kremling’s hearing was so good. “You’re the one who brought along an ally who hates your guts .” DK’s eyes went to the announcer, but the kong stepped closer to Mario. Mario took another step back. “Any hatred your team member holds is now amplified… a hundred times over!”

DK’s eyes turned back to the plumber. His eyes had a glaze to them, as if he wasn’t quite all there. Mario was very familiar with mind control and recognized the symptoms. Should Mario say something? Would it be worth it to try and stop DK first with words at all?

“Mario,” the kong said, low and surprisingly coherent. “Come here.”

Drums picked up again. First slow, then the tempo went up. Soon it outpaced the hero’s heartbeat. The crowd screamed and cheered as it began. Then all at once, the drums stopped. Mario swallowed, mouth dry.

“Let’s not do this,” Mario tried. Drum beat.

“We already are,” DK said. 

Another drum beat. DK started forward. The tempo picked up again. The crowd cheered. Mario took off running.

It was a game of cat and mouse for awhile. Mario sprinted across the arena, dodging between every wall and pillar he could reach. DK, predictably, took advantage of his climbing prowess. Every desperate movement to get out of the eyesight of the prince was undone when DK scaled walls and swung on vines.

Whoosh , Mario could feel DK sailing over his head. Instead of waiting to see where DK landed, Mario spun on his heel and ducked behind a wall. The sound of a thump shortly after was the only hint that he might’ve made it on time.

Mario had his back pressed up against the wall, a loose vine tickling his shoulder. He made every effort he could to steady his breathing and not jostle the surrounding vegetation too much. Though he couldn’t see it, DK was perched on top of a pillar behind him, spinning in place as he scanned the arena for the unfortunate human. 

Weirdly, Mario took a moment to thank the stars for DK’s ridiculous dance earlier on, as already he could hear his heavy breathing. Mario listened intently. He could hear the huffing, sniffing, and snarling of the kong behind him, but he didn’t dare peek around the wall to see DK’s exact location. Somewhere above him, that much he could gather. Mario continued to pray that the sound of the cheering crowd and the thumping drums masked his own heartbeat and labored breath.

“Here kitty kitty,” DK called. Mario rolled his eyes. Of course, not even being under the influence could stop the kong from that abhorrent nickname.

Then there was horrible screeching. The sort of painful sound comparable to nails on chalk board. Mario looked about frantically, until he realized the sound originated from various barred doors around the arena walls. The screeching sound of rusted metal and ringing sound of gathering chains mixed in with the cheers and the drums. Before the doors were even halfway up, little creatures shaped like drums swarmed into the arena. Cries rang out joyfully from the crowd.

Mario had to run now. With no other choice, Mario pushed himself off the wall and barreled forward. Hoards of the little drum-shaped creatures followed like ducklings behind their mama. Up above, DK growled out, then he, too, went towards his prey.

Mario knew hiding behind walls wouldn’t work with these fellas, so he did the only thing he could think of. He ran straight towards a wall then jumped off, bouncing over the gathered group behind him. Confused, their eyes traced his sailing movements, spun their little bodies, then with high-pitched war cries they were after him again.

This terrible move also put Mario in an unforeseen predicament. DK was barreling towards him, the creatures behind him, and Mario sandwiched between. Mario dove to the side. DK ran right past him.

The kong seemingly ignored Mario and charged right for the gathered drum-creatures. Bowling ball to pins. The little creatures scattered about, and any unfortunate fellas still within reach were picked up by DK and tossed across the arena. Mario kept running as high-pitched screeching rang about him, and dodged side to side as the occasional drum-creatures bombarded his path.

Once again, Mario found reprieve behind a wall. He could hear DK doing as DK does somewhere in the arena with him. Smashing, crashing, throwing, and howling out to the sky. The distraction gave Mario another chance to think about his predicament.

“Well, would you look at that!” said the flying Kremling. “He hates you so much he wants to kill you for himself.”

“I've been known to get jealous,” DK called out. He sounded like he was on the opposite side of the arena.

Was that what that had been? Mario honestly hadn’t had a moment to process the meaning of the rescue. At least those little things proved more of a hindrance to the kremling’s scheme than help. It still didn’t solve Mario’s problem though. He couldn’t spend the battle avoiding the kong, he’d have to fight him. 

Mario looked down at his palm, reassured himself the power-up was in effect, then he turned and grasped the vines. He was tugging himself up even as a little drum-creature sauntered around the corner and spotted him. The little tattletale screeched its head off. Ugh.

Mario hopped off the wall, landed on the creature’s head, then propelled himself up higher on the vines. The creature was silenced and he was closer to the top.

He pulled himself over and found there was enough width to find footing. Around the arena, Mario could see glimpses of brown fur dart about as DK presumably chased down the creatures. Soon enough, DK clambered out of labrinth, up the vines, and found perch at the top of a pillar again. It was easy to spot Mario from there.

“You okay?” DK called out. Mario was startled by the question.

“Are you better?” 

He didn’t look better to Mario. There was still a dazed look to his eyes and his stance was hunched. Like he was about to pounce.

“Not really,” DK admitted. Mario’s suspicions were proven right when DK launched himself towards Mario’s wall. Mario scrambled to not fall as the wall shook.

“I don’t want to fight you,” Mario said. DK was slowly stalking towards Mario.

“Then don’t,” DK said. Mario scanned DK’s expression. He sounded like himself, but his expression and stance was predatory. Hungry. “C'mere scaredy-cat.” Mario took a step back at that. DK’s pupils darted to Mario’s feet then back to his face.

“You’re acting weird,” Mario said. He put his fists up, on guard. He really didn’t want to punch his teammate. Although maybe a good punch would knock DK to his senses.

“I feel weird,” DK confirmed. 

DK lunged towards Mario. Mario upper cutted the kong under the chin. Dazed, DK growled and backed off a step, palm rubbing at his jaw.

Mario hopped off the wall, hand outstretched, and just barely managed to latch onto a vine. The motion causes the red man to orbit around the kong. DK had barely looked up before Mario delivered a powerful kick to his face, sending the prince over the ledge.

Pow . DK hit the ground at an awkward angle. Dust kicked up around him. Concerned, Mario landed. He peered at DK from atop the wall. Down below, the dust began to settle and turned DK’s normally brown coat into an ashen gray. Slowly, DK picked himself up.

“Mario?” DK muttered. He returned to his feet, swaying.

Perhaps that had done it. Maybe DK was back to himself again!

“DK…?” Mario said carefully and slowly. Donkey Kong looked up towards the human. “You okay there buddy?”

DK laughed. Mario spread his legs and crouched, prepping to run. Within seconds, the kong was up the wall again. Mario took off running.

“I’m not playing this anymore, baby,” DK said. Despite his words, he chased after Mario anyway. Mario had barely hopped off the wall before he heard a thump behind him. With a shove, Mario was launch against a pillar.

“ Ow, ” Mario said. There was a sound of a power-up being lost. The crowd around them cheered. The flying kremling cackled. 

Mario put one palm up against the pillar and pushed himself to his feet. His endeavor was lost when hands that now appeared much bigger spun him around and pushed his back against the pillar. Mario kicked and pushed, but, with little effort, DK grabbed Mario by his wrists and pinned them near the plumber’s head.

The crowd was loving it. The drums were thumping. Mario could feel the sweat on his brow. DK loomed over him with a triumphant smile, snarling through glistening sharp teeth. Faster and faster the drums rang out, until all at once, they stopped. Everyone held their breaths in anticipation. Even Mario.

“Game over, Mario!” the Kremling shouted out. “You lose!”

DK moved suddenly. Mario flinched. But the prince didn’t move to strike the hero. Instead, their lips met. Now the silent atmosphere of the arena that was once filled with anticipation now shifted to shock.

The kiss wasn’t gentle. DK pressed himself against Mario, lips moving with fervor, eyes closed tightly. His grip around Mario’s wrists tightened a hair and Mario nearly yelped. DK felt his lips part and took the opportunity to shove his tongue inside. His teeth clacked against Mario’s. By the time the kong pulled away, both men were panting heavily.

“Uhh…” Mario tried. Mario’s eyes had a dreamy and far off look to them. He appeared pretty dazed. Despite the confusion, he still found some semblance of a word. “ What? ”

“Hehe,” DK giggled. He pressed another - more gentle - kiss to Mario’s nose. “Gotcha.”

No, seriously, what?

“ What!? ” the flying kremling shouted from above. DK pulled away from Mario so he could glare at the other creature. Mario was still pinned. “I thought you hated that twerp!”

“Uh, yeah, I also thought-” DK silenced Mario with a finger to his lips. At least one of his hands was free. Mario used his free hand to try and fend the finger off.

“Of all the damn ways this could go wrong,” the Kremling muttered. Swiftly, an arrow was placed against his bow and pointed towards DK.

DK eyed the Kremling, snarling when the annoying pest dared to point a weapon towards him. Quickly, Mario was manhandled from the pillar and safely against his chest. The prince ignored the smaller man’s squawks  of protest.

The arrow flew. DK rolled out of the way. Another arrow, and DK ducked behind a wall.

“I don’t understand. So you weren’t trying to kill me?” Mario said.

“Shush,” DK said. The kong peeked around a corner and narrowly avoided an arrow to his face. He adjusted his grip on the plumber and took off running. “No I wasn’t trying to kill you!” DK smiled mischievously. “Sure did love teasing you, though!”

“So were you affected by the arrow or not?” Mario whispered. DK found cover behind a new wall.

“Affected. Very much affected,” DK said. He glanced around the corner again, spotted the kremling, then ducked back. Mario opened his mouth to say something again. DK rolled his eyes and clamped a palm over his mouth. “Shut up , dumb dumb,” DK hissed.

He peeked around the corner again. The kremling was flying over the arena, his head swiveling back and forth for his targets. DK looked to the kremling, to the walls, up the vines, then to the pillars. His face split into a smile and he brought his mouth closer to Mario. Hot breath hit Mario’s ear. Mario’s face burned red.

“I got an idea. You’re gonna have to ride me,” DK said. Mario shot him a dirty look. DK smiled, well-aware of his word choice. “Get on my back.” 

DK lifted the smaller man up to place him accordingly. Mario scrambled to latch onto DK’s fur. Once secured, DK checked around the corner again, saw that the kremling wasn’t looking their way, then he launched up into the air. Silently, DK scaled walls, vines, and then a pillar.

“Ready?”

“For…?”

Without another warning, DK pushed off the pillar and went sailing in the air towards the kremling. The crocodile-shaped creature spun towards them, arrow loaded, but all three men went crashing towards the ground.

From there, it was a race to see who could find their feet first. Mario was up the quickest, but the kremling was to his feet a half a second after. Before the heroes could attack, another arrow was pointed towards Mario’s head. Both Mario and DK froze. The crowd cheered.

“Oh shut up! ” the kremling spat. The cheers tapered off. With more determination, the kremling pulled the string tighter, aiming between Mario’s eyebrows. “I should’ve just done this to begin with.”

“No!” DK said. He moved to get in between them.

Despite DK’s valiant attempts, his rescue wasn’t necessary. A new pair of contenders burst out into the arena. Their steed of choice an orange motorcycle. The metal beast struck the kremling. Arrow went flying, burying its head into the dirt. The heroic motorcyclists drove off a few feet then spun around so they were facing the kremling again.

The stunned kremling was on the ground, a hand cradling his head. His eyes widened a tad when he saw the motorcyclists and he flapped his wings to try and return to the air.

“Oh no you don’t!” said a voice that was familiar to both Mario and DK. With a push of a button, a net launched itself from the motorcycle and cocooned around the unfortunate crocodile. The villain was downed for good this time.

“Daisy?” Mario said excitedly.

“Peach?” DK said, less excitedly. The girls removed their helmets and beamed at the boys. As they dismounted their shared motorcycle, DK snatched up Mario and pinned him against his chest. He snarled at the girls.

“Whoa… what’s up with that?” Daisy said.

“DK! Relax! They’re our friends,” Mario said. DK clenched his teeth harder.

“I know that! I didn’t get my memory wiped,” DK said. Still, he continued his threatening snarl and pressing Mario against him. “ Neither of you come near Mario right now.”

“Sorry!” Mario said. The girls glanced between the boys with dumbfounded expressions. “That crocodile over there did something to him. DK was shot with an arrow and now he’s acting all… I don’t know. Weird?”

“You’re weird,” DK snorted. He sat down and pulled Mario onto his lap. While Peach studied the strange pair, Daisy went wandering off, searching the arena for something. “I’ll chill out. Just don’t step too close.”

“Mario?” Peach said with a tilt to her head. DK watched her movements closely. Why did she have to be so goddamn gorgeous? It pissed him off. “Are you okay right there?”

“He’s fine,” DK snapped. Mario shot him a look. “What? You are! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

“I can speak for myself,” Mario said. He looked to Peach and gave a reassuring wave. “But he’s right. I’m fine…” DK rested his chin on Mario’s head. “I think.”

“You might be in little danger,” DK said. His hand wandered up Mario’s leg. Mario squirmed. “I might devour you~”

“DK…” Mario said lowly. DK snuck a kiss to his hat. “See, this is how he’s been acting! It’s bizarre!” The kong prince removed Mario’s hat. Mario struggled for it, but DK tossed it out of reach, then wrapped both of his arms around Mario so he could rub his face against the smaller man’s fluffy hair. “DK!”

“Hm?” DK said. He relaxed against Mario as if he was a pillow.

“The kremling wanted DK to act… like this?” Peach said. She looked DK up and down.

“U-uh… no. For some reason the kremling was under the impression he would try… to kill me?” Mario said. DK huffed out a laugh.

Daisy returned to the group, holding up what she found. Both DK and Mario glared at the offending item. The arrow’s tip had dried, but the green and red splashes of color were still visible.

“Ooh, I know what’s going on,” Daisy said. She held it up so Peach could inspect it as well. “Great news though! It’ll wear off… eventually.”

“What? What is it?” Mario said. He tried to move closer but was still restrained against DK. DK growled lowly against Mario’s ear.

“It’s a potion! When injected it makes you feel more strongly!” Daisy said. She sniffed at the tip of the arrow then made a face. “Like… lets say someone dislikes you. Get a little of this in them then they hate you. If they already hated you, then they might be driven to murder you.”

“And if they like you, now they love you,” Peach said. Daisy waved the arrow at her and nodded.

“So… what, DK did see me as a friend?” Mario said. DK snarled viciously, startling poor Mario. Peach and Daisy both looked at each other. Then a wicked grin lit up on Daisy’s face.

“Oh yeah, just a friend,” Daisy said. Mario wasn’t following. DK was ignoring everyone in favor of cuddling his face against Mario’s cheek.

“You’re so dumb, babe,” DK mumbled against Mario’s skin. Not for the first time, Mario’s face burned red. He tilted his head away from the clingy kong.

“To my best guess…” Peach said carefully. She tried to steady her expression so she didn’t accidentally smile. Daisy was smiling openly. “He probably had a crush on you.”

“ What? ” Mario tilted his head to look up at the kong. “Really?” DK loosened his grip around Mario. Mario shrugged his arms free. “ You had a crush on me? I thought you hated me!” Instead of answering, DK pushed his head against Mario’s and took the lobe of his ear between his teeth. Mario shoved him off. “Knock it off! Too far.” DK pulled away.

“Sorry,” he said. He gently used his finger to wipe any spit away. Mario buried his blushing face in his hands.

“Ugh… so what now?” He peeked between his fingers to watch the princesses. Daisy was still smiling unhelpfully, but Peach seemed more thoughtful. “DK and I still have a mission to complete. We’re still awhile off from rescuing Toad.”

“Yes… but,” Peach said, looking DK up and down. “DK isn’t in any state to continue.”

“Mario is not going anywhere without me,” DK said.

“I know,” Peach said. She sighed and looked back at Daisy. Daisy lifted one eyebrow and glanced at the motorcycle. “Daisy and I are taking over. In the meantime, Mario, you’re going to have to stick to DK’s side until it wears off.”

“What!?” Mario said. Despite the plumbers protests, DK cheered.

“Whoo! Hell yeah,” he said. He lifted up Mario and spun him around. “You heard the princess. I’ve just been prescribed a date~” He pushed his forehead against Mario’s. “After they leave, you wanna go find a nice spot to make out?”

“ No ,” Mario said. He pushed DK back. “And besides, big guy, I don’t think you’re able to properly consent right now.”

DK exhaled loudly in a way that was similar to a horse.

“Fine. But when we get back to your place, I’m napping and we’re cuddling ,” DK said. He pulled Mario into a hug.

“Ack! Fine!” Mario said. He pushed DK away. “But not my place. I don’t want to explain this to Luigi.”

“My place then,” DK said.

With that settled, the girls drove off to finish the mission. DK and Mario turned to take their long trek back home.

Chapter 2

Summary:

DK doesn’t appear to be getting better. Mario seeks out help

Notes:

Part two! Credit to ShapeShiftInterest for the prompt idea between this and whatever chapters will follow. They came up with a funny ending I just knew I needed to incorporate somehow. And thank you again to VerbenaHuet for beta reading!

Also… this fic ended up being a LOT longer than I anticipated T-T I don’t know how many chapters this will end up being, but if we hope hard enough we might be able to keep it at three

Peach knocked again, brow knitted with worry. She could hear a commotion from the other side of the wooden door.

Meanwhile, Mario was fighting for his life.

“DK? DK! Dammit you overgrown monkey, I know you’re awake!” The red plumber was snug between the prince’s arms. With some effort, one of Mario’s hands popped free, outstretched towards the ceiling. He waved it wildly about as DK sleepily nuzzled his face against Mario’s. “Lo giuro su Dio, se non ti alzi… DK! For star’s sakes, let me answer the door!”

“Alright! Alright ,” DK said. His arms opened up, granting Mario his freedom.

Mario fell off the hammock with a thump! DK suppressed a laugh as Mario huffed, picked himself up, brushed himself off, and moved to the door. When he opened it, Peach was poised to knock one more time.

“Peach! Hey,” Mario said. When he heard a low growl from within the room, he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. “Hey, um… how’s Toad recovering?”

It had been almost two weeks since the incident. Peach and Daisy had successfully rescued Toad from the kremlings. The little guy seemed chipper last Mario saw him, but Mario hadn’t been able to leave the Jungle Kingdom much since. 

“He’s been fine. Just as cheerful as ever,” Peach said. She looked over Mario’s shoulder like she could somehow see through the door. “How’s DK? Does it seem to be wearing off?”

“About that, uh…” Mario scratched the back of his head and nervously lowered his voice. “How long is this stuff supposed to last?”

Peach could only offer a helpless shrug. Mario groaned and put his palms over his eyes, fingers bent as if to claw at himself.

“He doesn’t seem at least a little bit like himself?” she said.

“That’s the thing! I don’t think he’s recovered at all! ” Mario said. “When Daisy said this stuff would wear off eventually I thought she meant… I don’t know, a week? But that’s come and went, and nothing changed!”

The door opened then. Large hands found his hips and Mario stiffened at the contact.

“Everything alright, babe?” DK said. 

“Not your babe. And yes. Everything is fine.” Mario took DK’s hands off of him. DK complied.

“Peach,” DK said as he looked the princess up and down. Peach, a saint, simply smiled and nodded politely.

“Your brother is getting suspicious,” Peach said to Mario.

“Yeah? And what did you tell him?” Mario said.

“Same as always. You’re helping Donkey Kong in the Jungle Kingdom,” Peach said. She put a fist on her hip. “You should tell him, you know.”

“What for? Eventually DK will be better, won’t he?” Mario said. “It’s not like I’m hiding a secret boyfriend from my brother.” At that, DK gently bonked his head against Mario’s.

“Aren’t you, though?” he said.

“Come off it. Once you feel better, you’ll go back to acting like you hate my guts.”

“But I don’t-”

“Mario, can we talk for a bit?” Peach said. DK’s fur bristled.

“You are talking,” DK said. Mario glared at him. Peach smiled like nothing was wrong.

“I meant alone,” she said, bravely. She ignored as his fur puffed out even more. He practically looked like a pufferfish. Or a teddy bear fresh from the dryer. “I have some diplomatic matters, and as my knight, he should be informed.”

Mario patted the fur on DK’s arm to help him settle down. With every brush the fur would bounce back up.

“Didn’t you promise Diddy Kong you’d help him with his new kart today?” he said. The fur started to relax and Mario continued to help it along. “Your nephew needs some one-on-one time with you. I’m a little worried he feels like I’m getting between you both.”

Mario knew that wasn’t true. DK knew that wasn’t true. If anything, Diddy Kong was ecstatic that DK seemed to get a new “boyfriend” the family could hang out with. Still, with DK’s emotions heighted, the seed of doubt struck a chord with the prince. He bared his teeth.

“You shrewd little…” DK mumbled. He pressed a kiss to the side of Mario’s temple. “Fine. If you don’t come find me later, I’ll find you.” 

With that, DK galloped off across a bridge. Mario and Peach watched as he leaped to a vine, slid to the ground, and rushed into foliage. He disappeared quickly afterwards. Mario looked back towards Peach and was startled to see her smirking at him.

“What?” he said. He only then realized he had a palm to where DK had kissed him. Mario grabbed the offending hand to hold against his chest instead. “ What? Why are you smiling?”

“No reason,” she said. Her expression turned serious. “Is he treating you well?”

“Well, I mean, yeah ,” he said. Very well. Sweet talk, kind gestures, random displays of affection. It was a stark contrast from how the kong behaved previously. “He’s not hurting me in any way, if that’s what you mean. Just a bit grabby at worst.”

Peach nodded. That’s exactly what she needed to know.

“So… what diplomatic matters were we needing to discuss?” Mario said.

“Oh. That. Mario, dear, I was lying,” she said. She gestured her head in the direction of the bridge so he would follow. They strolled across the paths of the treetops as they spoke. “I’m worried about DK. I think we need to talk to your brother.”

“I don’t see why my brother needs to know. It’s embarrassing .”

“Because your brother has connections that can help us,” Peach said. “I don’t know how long this effect is supposed to last, but if he continues to not improve, we might need someone more knowledgeable to help.”

“Can’t we just ask Daisy? She seems to know enough,” Mario said.

“She’s heard of it, but she’s not an expert,” Peach said. They walked in silence for a moment. “We don’t have to tell your brother yet, it’s not as if you’re in any danger. But Mario…” She stopped walking to cue how serious this was. “If this goes on too much longer, or if things seem to get worse, we will have to tell him.” Mario’s mustache twitched from his frown. “If anything, for DK’s health.”

The plumber nodded slowly, understanding. It was unfair for DK to be caught up like this. Mario couldn’t imagine how mad he’ll be once the spell wore off. That aside, the longer this played out, the longer it would mess with both of their em-

“I understand,” Mario said, interrupting his own train of thoughts. Nope. He wouldn’t think like that. This was nothing, he wouldn’t be affected. DK didn’t really feel this strongly towards him.

And Mario did not like him back.

 

“So…” DK said. The atmosphere was quiet and he just could not stand it. “What did the princess wanna talk about?”

Mario was sitting on the floor fiddling with one of his tools, yet not quite working on anything. After the talk, he had found DK to offer help with the kart, only to find that Diddy Kong already ran off. DK still was happy to fix up karts with the smaller man. Mario thought it would be a nice distraction, yet his heart couldn’t get into it.

“Hey DK?”

“Yes babe?”

Mario cringed but let it slide.

“Do you think you’ve improved at all? Since getting hit with the arrow?” Mario said.

“Uhhh…” DK said. He knew he hadn’t. There wasn’t an easy way to explain it, but he could feel the effect’s hold on him, and yet he hesitated to answer. He had a feeling he didn’t like where this was going. “Not sure! Why?” DK sat down on the floor with Mario and put an arm over his shoulder. “Does it matter?”

“Mm,” Mario hummed. He let DK keep his arm there. “What do you say we get some help?”

DK took a moment to think about it. Then he scoffed.

“No.”

“DK…”

“No! Mario, I’m fine!” DK said. He pulled Mario closer. “Being treated so well hasn't been that bad, right?”

“This isn’t about me. DK, this isn’t how you are,” Mario said. He leaned away but to no avail. When he leaned too far, DK simply scooped him up and set him on his lap. “You don’t feel this way about me.”

“Yes I do. That’s literally the whole point.”

“Okay. But not nearly this strongly! A little crush isn’t this ,” Mario said. DK rolled his eyes then buried his face against Mario’s shoulder. “And it’s not just me. This is affecting all your relationships! You were extra competitive surfing with Funky Kong the other day.”

“And? He thought it was funny.”

“You chased and threatened some kids that made fun of Diddy Kong.”

“Little bullies being rude to my little buddy. They needed to learn.”

“You nearly killed Bluster!”

“Would it be so bad if I did?” DK said. Mario looked away so DK wouldn’t see him smile. “Yeah! See?” He smiled widely when Mario covered his face with a hand. “Besides~ He was mocking you. That’s not gonna slide, only I get to make fun of you.”

“And that’s another thing!” Mario said. He put his hands on DK’s shoulders. “DK, you’ve grown very possessive of me.”

“Sure, but it’s hot, isn’t it?” DK teased. Mario pushed his face away but DK kept smiling smugly. “So what if I get a little protective of you? So what if I want to spend lots of time together? Tell me you don’t like that a strong, sexy prince thinks you’re so great.”

“But this isn’t how you feel about me!” Mario said. 

DK frowned at that, studying the man in red. Then a mischievous smile lit up his face as his hands slowly traced up the side of Mario’s legs.

“Poor baby, am I not being affectionate enough~?” His fingers then hooked Mario’s overall straps, loving the way Mario jumped a little. “What would it take to convince you that I do want you?”

His movements made Mario nervous. The human swallowed and tried to keep his voice firm.

“DK…” His tone wavered more than he would have liked. DK’s growing smile did not help things. “I think we should consider getting some help rather than waiting for this to wear off.”

At that, the smile disappeared.

“Well… maybe this is how I am!” DK said. Mario rolled his eyes. “Think about it, it’s been weeks! Maybe it wore off and I just really like you.”

“Yeahhh, somehow I doubt that,” Mario said. He sighed then got to work prying DK’s fingers from his clothes. The stronger kong stubbornly tightened his grip. “If I got you help, what would you do?”

“Uhhh… heh, refuse?”

Suddenly, DK changed their positions. Within seconds Mario was pinned against the ground. Dazed (and slightly annoyed) he looked up at Donkey Kong.

“If I was “better”, then what? Would you leave me? Go back to the Mushroom Kingdom?”

“Get off of me,” Mario said. DK released him so Mario could sit back up. “The Mushroom King is where I live , DK.”

DK wanted to think logically about it. He knew he couldn’t keep Mario forever. But his heart hurt badly at the thought of Mario leaving him, and it pissed him off.

“Speaking of…” Mario said. DK’s fur bristled.“I need to go back home soon.”

“What? Why? ” DK said. He grabbed Mario again. “Is it something Peach said?” Mario shot him a warning look, eyes darting to DK’s hands then to DK’s face. Donkey Kong slowly released him. His fur was still on end, but he knew he needed to control himself. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Mario said. “I just want to visit my brother.” DK deflated. “I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks. He’s starting to get worried.”

DK took a deep breath and told himself to chill. He was getting worked up over nothing and he knew it. But, goddammit, it was just so hard .

“Then we can come back?” DK said more calmly.

“We?”

“I’m coming with you.”

Mario rubbed the back of his head, unsure. DK’s family knew what was going on, they could keep an eye on him. Still, if DK wanted to go, how could anyone stop him?

Mario decided to try anyway.

“I’ll come right back.”

“ We will, yep.” This wouldn’t get anywhere. “Come on Mario, I’ll behave. Besides, I should probably visit my future brother-in-law.”

“ What? ”

“I’m teasing!” DK said. He grabbed Mario and pulled him against his chest. “Sort of.”

“Okay, well…” Mario struggled against DK until finally laying his palms flat and pushing. “Don’t make jokes like that around my brother.”

“No promises~”

 

The door opened and Mario was immediately suffocated by green arms.

“You’re back!” Luigi said. Mario returned the hug. They stayed like that for several moments until finally the younger twin pulled away. His eyes fell on DK. “And you brought company.”

“Hey Luigi!” DK said. Luigi was greeted with a warm smile and a firm pat on the shoulder.

Mario was relieved to see DK acting so cordial. On the way here, he was beginning to worry that the same effect that caused him to act so hostile towards Peach might also make him rude to his brother.

“What brings you here?” Luigi said. He opened the door wider to let the two men inside. “Did Mario finish helping you?”

“About that…” Mario said.

“Nah,” DK said. “This might be a long-term issue.”

“Well, is it something I can help with?” Luigi said. He looked out the door before slowly shutting it. “I’m expecting my ride to get here in the next hour. But if this is something serious, I can delay.”

“It’s nothing serious!” Mario assured.

“You heading out?” DK said. He glanced to Mario with a knowing smile. “Aww man, Mario. Guess we might be able to get back to the Jungle Kingdom today! Isn’t that too bad?” The human could only sigh. “Probably for the best. You have a lot ~ of work to do.”

Luigi looked between them. So much for being subtle.

“Where you heading off to?” Mario said in a desperate attempt to distract his brother.

“Just visiting my boyfriend for the weekend,” Luigi said. He was still looking between Mario and DK. Mario was beginning to sweat. “Kamek is picking me up.”

“Right,” Mario said. If he was going to ask, it was going to have to be sooner than later. “Hey Luigi, before you go… you mind speaking with me for a moment?”

“Sure?” He stood dumbly for a moment before startling. “Oh! You mean alone?”

DK shuffled nervously where he stood. Mario gave him a reassuring pat on his arm and gestured to the couch where he could make himself more comfortable.

“It’ll just be a moment. I have some family stuff to talk to him about,” Mario said. DK huffed but relaxed on the couch anyway. The furniture wasn’t meant for someone his size, but he set his chin on the armrest and haphazardly splayed his limbs out like a starfish on a lumpy rock.

“Take all the time you need, babe. Once your brother heads out, we should be getting back to my place.”

“ Babe? ” Luigi said. Mario slapped his forehead. 

“Whoops,” DK said. He didn’t look sorry.

“Stupida scimmia,” Mario muttered. He took Luigi by the shoulder and forcefully led him into the kitchen. “It’s not what you think.”

“Are you fucking Donkey Kong?” Luigi said.

“Okay, it’s really not what you think.” Mario now had both hands on Luigi’s shoulders. “I’m not sleeping with DK.”

“Technically you are!” DK called from the living room.

“Oh, great, he can still hear us. Let’s take this outside,” Mario said. He dragged a bewildered Luigi through the backdoor. “Okay, in the literal sense, I have been sleeping beside him. Purely platonic!”

“That’s still suspicious!” Luigi said.

“No, no, no… listen. Look. Listen,” Mario said. He took a moment to pull himself together. With a deep sigh, Mario managed to find the right words. “DK thinks he’s in love with me.”

“Okay…?”

“He was shot with a poisoned arrow that heightened his emotions. He had a miniscule crush on me - although I’m sure that’ll be long gone after this - and when it hit his emotions were amplified. Anyone he hates he detests , anyone he likes he loves .”

“And that’s why you’ve been gone?”

“The principesse both thought it’d help him recover easier,” Mario said. “He’s gotten a bit of separation anxiety with me specifically,” (the kindest way he could say “possessive” without saying it), “So we thought me being near would… subdue him?”

“Oh Mario…”

“It’s not so bad! It’s not. But I’m here because… well… I need your help,” he said. Luigi nodded eagerly.

“Anything.”

“I need you to contact E. Gadd for me. This is the sort of thing he might look into, right?” Mario said. Luigi rubbed the back of his head. “And don’t tell DK of this. He’s been very clear he’d resist any help.”

“I have to say, Mario…” Luigi said. Mario nodded, expecting sympathy. “This is the funniest situation you’ve ever found yourself in.”

“I- what? Hey! ” Mario elbowed his brother.

“Has he been flirting with you? You said you sleep beside each other? Do you cuddle? ” Luigi said. Mario covered his face with his hands. “You do! Ho- ho! I guess we’re both monsterfuckers.”

“Fuck off ,” Mario said. He uncovered his face. “Can you help me or not?”

“I can see what E. Gadd says,” Luigi said.

“Or you can see what I have to say,” a new voice said. The twins looked up to find Kamek on his broom. “This isn’t anything science will fix. This sounds like a “magic” problem to me, no need to call on that ol’ hack!”

“I mean…” Mario looked between Kamek and Luigi. “If you’re willing to help, then yes! Yes please!” Mario took his hat and held it against his chest. “He’s just inside. You’re going to have to pretend you’re not here to help-”

Kamek held up a hand.

“It’s going to take more than just a once over. Why don’t you and DK come with us to Lord Bowser’s castle? I should have everything I need there.”

Luigi nodded, but Mario shook his head.

“He won’t willingly be helped!” Mario said. “He thinks he’s fine.”

“I have an idea,” Luigi said. He tried not to smile, but his mustache twitched upward just the slightest. Mario did not like the way Luigi was looking at him. “Hey Mario…”

“Yes Luigi…?”

“You remember how you made me dress up as Princess Peach to bait Bowser?” Luigi said. As Mario glared, Luigi couldn’t help but let his smile show in full.

“No.”

“Now I’m not saying you’ll need a dress,” Luigi said.

“No.”

“But a dress would make this more satisfying. For me.”

“ No. ”

“And if this ends up in a date between you both-”

“ No.”

“Then we would have both gotten monster boyfriends by playing the bait. Wouldn’t that be such a great thing to do? As twins?”

Mario threw his hands up in the air.

“No! Absolutely not!”

The backdoor opened then.

“Hey~ Is everything alright?” DK said. Upon spotting Kamek, DK put a protective arm around Mario and dragged him close. A deep snarl escaped him, causing Mario and Luigi to jump. Mario had forgotten that DK didn't like Kamek… or Bowser.

Kamek fiddled with his glasses to look the prince up and down.

“U-uh, DK!” Luigi said. DK snorted in acknowledgment but wouldn’t remove his eyes from the “threat.” “I need to borrow Mario for an hour or so. We have a bit of an issue over at Bowser’s”

“Then I’m coming with,” DK said. “I don’t know what Mario told you. But he’s mine now, and that means I’m going to protect him.”

“I’ve never needed your-”

“It’s a plumbing issue,” Luigi said. “Super small, super quick. A problem for the Super Mario brothers.”

“And? I’m still coming with.”

“I’m afraid, that’ll take longer,” Kamek chimed in. DK snarled again. He tightened his grip on Mario. “I’ve not been feeling like myself lately. I can only transport two small people at a time. If you were to come along, we’d have to walk.”

DK was grinding his teeth, lips peeled back to show off his fangs in their full glory. The air was tense between the group.

“It’ll only be an hour, DK. Once I’m back, we can head back to your place,” Mario said. To try and loosen the kong's grip, Mario slid his hand over DK's knuckles and interlocked their fingers. Donkey Kong finally tore his eyes away from Kamek to look down at the man in his arms. “We can cuddle some more later?”

Stiffly, he released his hold.

“This better not take more than an hour,” DK said. “I do not like Bowser. And Bowser doesn’t like you.”

“Thank you,” Mario said. He stepped towards Kamek, but was held back when DK grabbed his arm.

“And one last thing,” DK said. He pressed a kiss to Mario’s cheek. Mario let him. “Come back soon~” He put his forehead against Mario. “Or I’ll come find you."

Chapter 3

Summary:

The trap is set

Notes:

Another thank you to ShapeShiftInterest for the idea! And, as always, thank you to VerbenaHuet for beta reading!

Luigi rushed through the doors. The hinges slammed against the wall, a resounding bang! echoing through the house. Inwardly, Luigi cringed. He hadn’t meant to be that dramatic. 

It did the trick as the sleeping ape was rudely awoken from his rest, head hitting the ceiling, only to turn and snarl at the frightening noise. The snarl caught in his throat as he realized who had intruded on his nap.

“Luigi?” Donkey Kong said. Luigi tried to speak but found his breathing was too rapid. He held up a finger as he bent over to catch his breath. “What’s wrong? Where’s Mario?”

“K-kremlings…” Luigi said. He swallowed a large gulp of air. “Kremlings attacked Bowser.”

DK settled. A bored expression crossed his features.

“And?”

“They hit him with the same stuff they got you with. Mario is in danger,” Luigi said. 

Luigi had an elaborate lie ready. He had practiced it in his head on the way here. The buildup, the turning points, the drama! No more information was necessary though, as DK was already out the door and galloping in the direction of the Darklands. 

Luigi rushed to the doorway - a tad irked to be left behind - and shouted out to the kong.

“We can take the blimp!”

 

On the way there, Luigi was grateful he and Mario practiced the story. Now stuck in a small space high in the air, DK was restless, pacing back and forth and demanding the blimp fly faster. To distract him, Luigi told him the plan.

“Mario is locked up in the throne room. I’ll leave and distract Bowser, then you bust him out and get him back to the Jungle Kingdom.”

“Sure. After I kick your boyfriend’s ass,” DK said. His eyes didn’t leave the horizon.

Luigi frantically shook his head. Even if this was a ploy, it felt too real.

“No, no, no! We’re saving both Mario and Bowser. Bowser is under the potion’s effect, same as you,” Luigi said. He thought quickly as he saw DK was not convinced. “Isn’t getting Mario to safety more important?”

DK growled viciously, drawing a squeak from Luigi.

“Of course!”

“Well… then… Let me handle Bowser, and you handle Mario,” Luigi said. He gave a whistle. “You know, it’s funny… Normally Mario is rescuing us … or, well, sometimes fighting you, I guess. He’s probably going to be so impressed that you’re the main hero today.”

DK smiled brightly. He snatched one of the stray ropes of the blimp, swung about, and found a perch higher up where he could pose more heroically.

“You’re damn right!” He pressed a fist against his chest to push the “heroic” part of his posture. It looked really corny. “I’m gonna kick Bowser’s ass and rescue the boyfriend in distress.”

“Okay, well…” Luigi said. An elbow was propped up on the railing as he rolled his eyes. “Just rescue Mario first, okay?”

 

They parted at the gates. Luigi sent a prayer to the stars above that this plan went accordingly. Or if not, that Mario, Bowser, Kamek, and himself could hold back an aggressive and amped up DK.

As Luigi rushed off to find help, DK went his way to the throne room. There he was greeted with a giant, metal cage. Inside was his man in red.

“Mario!” 

DK rushed to the cage, not thinking hard enough about why the doors were open. He could see as he approached that Mario’s feet were bound. His arms were behind him, presumably tied there as well.

“DK!” Maro said. DK rushed inside and began fiddling with the rope around Mario’s ankles. “DK, I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby,” DK said. “I'll never let you out of my sight again.”

Soon enough, Mario’s feet were free. DK reached forward with the intention of untying Mario's wrists. Yet in the second the ropes around his legs were off, Mario scrambled back with arms already free. He found a small hole in the cage and slipped out. The cage door closed with a thud behind DK.

It took a moment of processing to realize he was trapped. Once it clicked in his head, the locks were clicked in place. In a panic, DK rushed head first against the door. His head hit the bars hard but nothing gave. He smacked, punched, hit, and pounded at the bars, huffing and snarling the whole time. All the while the cage held firm.

“DK…” Mario said.

DK’s knuckles fell against the ground. Teeth were clenched tight with a raspy, whistling sound as air drew in and out. He glared at the little plumber.

“I’m so sorry… you weren’t getting better, and I didn’t know what else to do…”

Kamek appeared then in a puff of smoke.

“Looks like our clever Luigi’s plan worked!”

At the word, the throne room doors opened. Luigi and Bowser entered. 

“Mario!” Luigi said. He rushed at his brother. The plumber in green was more shaken than his twin. “It worked?”

“Without a hitch,” Mario said, though there was no heart to his tone.

Kamek got to work casting various spells to look DK over. As the wizard flitted about, DK kept his head on a swivel, frequently checking between the plumber and the flying threat.

“Bwa-ha-ha!” Bowser smacked Mario on the back in good humor. “Can’t believe you got that furball chasing after you like this. Looks like after all our days fighting over a princess, in the end we both got ourselves a prince!” Luigi glared at Bowser scoldingly. “ What? I ain’t complaining.”

Mario wasn’t finding any of this funny. He stepped up to the cage, intending to console the kong, but arms dragged him back just as the prisoner rushed at the bars. Mario barely escaped being nabbed by said prince.

The hands that rescued him belonged to Bowser and Luigi. Bowser was quick to let Mario go with a roll of his eyes.

“Geez, no survival instincts on you sometimes,” Bowser said. Mario rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. A bonk on his head. Mario looked up with a glare at the offending wand.

“Don’t touch my test subj - my patient until I have a chance to make a breakthrough. Understood?"  Kamek said.

“Yeah, okay…” Mario said. Still determined to console DK in some way, Mario turned his eyes to the cage, and resigned himself to doing this at a distance. “DK, I’m sorry it came to this.”

“C’mere baby, I’m not gonna bite you,” DK said. Luigi grabbed Mario by the elbow as if Mario might’ve been considering it. “What’s this about? Why am I in a cage?”

“The potion effect hasn’t worn off,” Mario said. DK rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to refute, but Mario beat him to the punch. “No, don’t tell me you’re fine. You’re not fine.”

“If you’re so worried about me, let me out.”

“You’re in there because I’m worried about you.”

Kamek didn’t have the patience for this. He flitted in between the human and the kong, adjusting his glasses as he looked over Mario disapprovingly.

“Arguing won’t work, and I’d like to think you’ve at least have half a brain to figure that out,” Kamek said.

“But I just-” 

Kamek slapped a hand over Mario’s mouth.

“Luigi!” The green human had been fiddling with his hands as his eyes darted back and forth between his brother and Donkey Kong. At the sound of his name, he stood to attention. “Do us all a favor, dear, and take Mario far from here.”

“ What? ” DK said.

“Where?” Luigi said.

“Anywhere. Just away from me and away from this jungle prince. Mario’s presence is only going to make my work difficult,” Kamek said.

Luigi dutifully nodded. He turned and tugged at Mario’s arm, but Mario stood firm.

“I don’t feel good about leaving him here without me,” Mario said.

“Nothing bad s’gonna happen to him, shorty,” Bowser said. Luigi nodded along.

“It’ll be alright. He’s in good hands,” Luigi said. Everyone ignored DK as he pleaded the plumber to stay. “We’ll come back later. And who knows? Maybe he’ll be all better by then.”

“Heh. Sure! Kamek’s good at this sort of stuff. Maybe once this headache is all over, we can go on a double date,” Bowser said, helpfully. The king looked over at the prisoner, squinting his eyes. “Hmm… well, if he still wants to date you after he’s better, that is,” he added, unhelpfully.

 Luigi could only sigh at that statement. He tugged again. Stubbornly, Mario held his ground. The pleading from DK turned pathetic and it was getting to him.

“Look, at least let’s go update the princess about the situation,” Luigi said. He paused. “Daisy is in on this, isn’t she? Maybe we can get a message sent out to her.”

“Princess Peach has been worried,” Mario said as he thought it over. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Yeah, okay. Just let me…” 

Mario glanced over at DK. He had melted to the floor of the cage, an arm out trying to reach the man in red. His face was squished against the floor and yet he tilted his head just enough to speak.

“Please don’t leave me,” he muttered.

“I’ll be back later today to check on you,” Mario said. “Just… try to let Kamek make you better. For me. Please?”

DK didn’t give a response. Instead, Kamek took to shooing the twins out of the throne room.

 

After the twins had went off to meet with the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, DK took to pacing his cell. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all .

If they “fix” him, then Mario would go on to sleep in his own bed in the Mushroom Kingdom rather than DK’s hammock. He’ll be away for longer periods of time, doing his plumber work, serving the kingdom as the hero, and being charmed and charming to their princess. 

Meanwhile, DK wouldn’t have his Mario anymore.

The kong prince paced back and forth in his cell. His knuckles banged against the cold, metal ground and his breathing came out low and uneven. His brow was furrowed and his muzzle twisted into the fiercest expression he could muster. There was the threat of tears in the corner of his eyes.

Kamek had left him alone in the throne room with the promise of returning soon. Said promise was finally in fruition when the little wizard returned, a cart trailing behind him with no one to push it, and a massive book awkwardly tucked under his arm. 

The magikoopa hobbled on over. The cart parked itself a few feet away from the cage. From here, DK could see various vials of colorful liquid. Kamek dropped the book on the ground with a thud. It decisively opened to a random page. The right one, apparently, as the wizard adjusted his glasses and leaned over to read.

“Where’s Mario?” DK said.

“Pardon?” Kamek said without turning his eyes from the book. “You know where he is.”

“He said he’d be back,” DK said. Kamek ignored him in favor of reading. “I just… do I have to be in this? I’m not dangerous.”

“I beg to differ,” Kamek said. He tapped the page. “It’s amazing you haven’t killed anyone yet. You must not hate as many people as that kremling had thought.”

“I hate you .”

“And that’s why you’re in there.”

DK paced more aggressively. His breathing was getting louder, his muscles more tense, his fur prickling, and his heart thudding.

“Mario should’ve been back by now,” DK said. Kamek shook his head and tutted in disagreement. “What if he’s in danger?”

Or what if he was caught up flirting with that princess .

“It’s been an hour.”

“And that’s too long!” DK slammed his fists against the bars. They rang out.

“I don’t expect him to return for another two. At least,” Kamek said. He picked up some vials and - while swiveling his head between the ingredients and the book - carefully began mixing. “He’ll return. His majesty, Bowser, is expecting Luigi’s return as well.”

Slowly, DK slid his fists down the bars, intending to return to pacing. He paused for a moment. Then he leaned forward to inspect the bars more carefully.

The bars were dented. Kamek hadn’t noticed yet, still so busy with the “antidote” or whatever that silly wizard thought he was making. If DK was quick and deliberate enough, and if he put all his strength and body weight into it, then maybe…

In the following five minutes, there was broken glass and liquid across the floor. The book had torn a few pages. In the center of the empty throne room, the cage was now empty. Muffled shouting could be heard from guards outside.

Notes:

Okay… next chapter is the last one. I think.

Sorry for the lack of updates in both fics, life got weird and my energy is zapped. Next chapter for LbL is about halfway through, and don't worry - both of these fics are on my mind 24/7 T-T They will haunt me until they are done

Chapter 4

Summary:

Mario has to be the bait again

Notes:

So this was updated over a year ago~

Sorry for the long delay! I wrote the entire chapter, found it anti-climatic, was stumped when no amount of editing seemed to fix it. Then I finally ripped off the band-aid and rewrote it.

Writing is hard. I didn’t quit or anything, I’ve been working on both fics! They’re both in difficult stages for different reasons, but slowly and surely we will get there. See you in a year when I update the absolutely, definitely final chapter

Mario trudged through the mushroom forest. The pink castle watched over him in the distance, a stark reminder that he was far from home. He had been out here for a long while now.

“DeeeeKayyyy! DK!” Mario shouted out. The only response was the chirping beetles. 

DK had last been spotted somewhere in the woods. Allegedly. The problem with relying on toads is that any movement in the mushroom forest was cause for panic. Mario could think of many times in the past they ran for Mario’s aid, only for him to find the danger to be bugs, bats, or even just laundry hanging on a wire. 

Once there was even a young and harmless yoshi! That panic about a “monster in the woods” was so blown out of proportion, the whole kingdom was practically shut down. Festivals were canceled for the day until Mario and Luigi “fixed” the problem. That had been a pain. While there was no real danger, wrangling a rowdy, adolescent Yoshi and transferring it back to its habitat was no easy feat. Mario had almost wished it was a monster to battle instead.

But this time, several toads swore up and down that they saw something big, furry, and scary. While the information was unreliable, it was all the crew had to go off of, and it was enough to send Mario on a wild kong chase.

The doubt crept in. If he really was out here, DK wouldn't have ignored his calls, unless of course the potion had finally worn-

His thoughts were interrupted when big arms yanked him backwards. Instinctively, he elbowed his attacker in the ribs, causing a familiar voice to cry out. Mario was dropped ungraciously to the ground while the assailant whined over the injury.

“That was uncalled for,” DK said.

“You grabbed me!” 

“Yeah, but it was still uncalled for.” He grumbled something about a bruise while Mario collected himself. Mario took a deep, calming breath. Heart racing for other reasons besides the jumpscare. He moved to be the first to address the situation, but DK beat him to the punch with a push. Mario found himself pinned against a giant mushroom. “You locked me in a cage!”

“You refused any help! What else was I supposed to do?”

DK tightened his hold on Mario’s overall straps, causing the smaller man to lift up to his toes.

“Not lock me in a cage.” DK said in a low voice.The guilt grew in Mario. “You could have just accepted that this is me, and I like you. But instead, you didn’t listen! And you locked me up at Bowser’s castle of all places!”

Mario was warned not to try and argue with DK. He agreed with the others at the time. Now, in the moment, Mario found it was a lot harder than he expected. He found his resolve and bit down on the arguments he wanted to counter with. What mattered now was trying to convince DK to follow him.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? It was the last thing I-”

Lips harshly met his. Mario instinctively tried to shove him off, not strong enough against the wall of muscle, but DK pulled away on his own accord.

“Stop talking,” DK said. “I don’t care. What matters is you’re in my arms once again, and we’re leaving.”

Mario struggled to find the words. He had a whole plan where he was going to apologize, talk about the effort he went to find DK, point out that it was getting dark, then lead DK back to a “spot he happened to know” where they would be safe for the night. This was not the moment he thought the plan would derail.

Mario clumsily worked to salvage this anyway.

“S-sure… but it’s getting late,” Mario said. “I’d take you back to my place if I could, but that’s awhile out. So maybe we could-”

DK picked Mario up and set him on his back.

“We’re traveling to the Jungle Kingdom,” DK said. “You can apologize to me along the way, baby. And if you want to sleep, I can carry you. But if we go now, we can be back home before morning.”

“I-I don’t think that’s so smart, DK. Look, I know a place not far from here. We can wait out the night, have some time to talk this out, then I’ll willingly go with you wherever you want in the morning!” 

DK looked over his shoulder and gave Mario a hard stare. For a heartstopping moment, Mario thought he might’ve underestimated the ape. But DK then tapped his fingers against the ground as if considering it.

“I don’t know…” he said finally. “I get where you’re coming from, baby, but I’m eager to get back.”

“Yeah, but… c’mon, just one more night?”

DK’s eyes trailed off. His finger tapping stopped. After a pondering moment, DK took a deep breath. Mario’s hope grew.

“No.” The hope shattered. “No, you’ve got our friends looking for me. We need to get back while it’s dark, before anyone realizes I’ve got you.”

“So you’re kidnapping me.”

“Consider it payback,” DK said. He gave a goofy grin that made Mario’s heart flutter. “Don’t worry. I won’t involve Bowser in this kidnapping scheme.”

“Oh, ha. Ha,” Mario bit back dryly. 

He slumped against DK. What now? Mario didn’t think he could take more weeks of DK’s overly affectionate and gushy actions, laced with the knowledge that it was all fake. No, Mario had to get this fixed tonight. Besides, E. Gadd and Luigi were waiting on him…

“I am sorry,” Mario said as DK walked them through the forest.

“It’s okay baby. I know why you did it,” DK said. “It’s hard to believe such a handsome prince wants you.” Mario rolled his eyes. “And… you know, I wasn’t exactly expressing myself before…”

“Before the arrow? Oh you were expressing yourself plenty,” Mario said. Expressing his irritation, expressing his strong dislike, expressing how much better he thought he was than… Mario pushed the memories off to the side. They hurt his chest. “But really… I am sorry.”

“It’s okay baby,” DK said with a laugh.

“No I mean… again.” 

Mario jumped off and began to run through the forest. DK could only paused midstep with a blank stare. He blinked. Then his face twisted in a snarl and he was off after Mario through the forest.

“When I said I was kidnapping you, I was joking,” DK called out. Mario was startled by how close DK sounded behind him. “Guess it’s not a joke anymore.”

 

The chase was longer than Mario anticipated. There was a minute or two that Mario feared that maybe he took a wrong turn in the dark mushroom woods and was well-past the structure he was looking for. Then, up ahead, Mario spotted it! He pushed past a cluster of bush-sized mushrooms and beelined for the cabin. DK trampled over the same mushroom cluster seconds after.

“Wait, no, Mario! Wait!” DK said as Mario ran towards the cabin.

Mario jumped through a broken window and into the building. He landed on a dusty floor. The plumber spun around, preparing to back away and lure his pursuer inside. But DK wasn’t climbing in the window after him. 

There was silence, only broken by Mario’s shallow breathing. Mario waited. Then he cautiously stepped closer and looked out the window.

DK was out front still, pacing back and forth in front of the cabin, fur on end. The prince perked up when he saw Mario peeking at him.

“Mario! Mario, I don’t like this place,” DK said. He slowly went towards the window. Mario slowly backed away. “No. No! Mario! Come out right now!”

Mario actually found himself offended.

“Scusi?” he said. 

“Mario… I’m warning you… If I have to go in there…” 

DK took a step onto the porch. It creaked under his weight. His hair stood on end and he immediately jumped backwards. Who’s the cat now? Mario thought. 

“Mario, please!” DK said.

What was the issue, exactly? Had Mario been too obvious? Does DK suspect it’s a trap? Mario stomped to the door, unlocked it, and pushed it open. DK jumped at the sound.

“There! See, come on out,” DK said. He inched closer but this time his knuckle hesitated to touch the porch. “Please?” he added when he saw Mario not yet move.

“What’s the matter?” Mario said. There’s no way DK had spotted the trap. Then again, DK wasn’t human, and he may very well have better eyesight in the dark than the plumber.

DK scoffed. “Nothing!” he said. He still did not step inside. Mario waited a moment. DK faltered. “It’s just that… a-are you sure there’s no g-ghosts here?”

Humor found Mario then. He put his fists on his hips and lifted an eyebrow, not hiding his smile.

“Since when were you so afraid of ghosts?” Mario said. It occurred to Mario then and he felt like an asshole. “Oh. You were a little afraid of ghosts.” Everyone was. Even Mario.

Well… to give DK credit, he wasn’t far off. Though it wasn’t a mansion or hotel by any stretch, this place was once littered with little apparitions. Luigi and E. Gadd had taken an afternoon to clear it, believing this little haunted patch in the Mushroom Kingdom to be the beginnings of one of King Boo’s plans to infiltrate. 

While ghosts could potentially show again, Mario knew there were no ghosts now. At least, that’s what Luigi assured him.

“There’s no ghosts in here DK. I promise,” Mario said. DK slowly placed a knuckle onto the porch, shifting his weight in a way that reminded Mario of a tiger. Suspicious that DK was about to pounce and grab him, Mario took a few steps back. “DK, we need to find shelter for the night. This place is what I was trying to tell you!”

“With ghosts? You’re nuts,” DK said. “This also is in the Mushroom Kingdom.”

“So?”

“So… you have our friends on the hunt for me! Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

Mario’s heart skipped a beat.

“What do you mean?” He managed to keep his tone level despite himself. 

“You’re just stalling!” DK said. “You know that if you can keep me out here, our friends are going to come “rescue” you.”

“I…” Mario scrambled. “No? DK it’s getting dark out!”
“Exactly! The perfect time to stealthily get back to the Jungle Kingdom!” DK said. “And like hell if I’m going to be in the dark with ghosts.”

“There’s no ghosts! Look around - none!” Mario said. “And if I wanted to wait to be rescued, our friends could do so just fine in the Jungle Kingdom.”

“Nu-uh. That’s my territory. They’d be hard pressed to get you away from me there,” DK said.

Mario supposed he could see the imperfect logic in that. DK was way more formidable in his home than he was anywhere else. With an exhausted sigh, he put a gloved hand onto his face as he stared off into the quickly darkening woods.

Logical or not, Mario was going to be stubborn about it. He dropped his hands and gave DK a look. DK seemed to inflate with hope. Time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“No,” Mario said. DK looked offended. “No, we’re sleeping here tonight.” Mario turned around. “It might be possible that Luigi missed a ghost or two, but with E. Gadd’s inventions, I seriously dou-”

“Luigi cleared it out?” DK said.

Bingo. Mario had him now.

“U-uhh… well sure, forever ago!” Mario said. He turned around and did his best to appear fidgety. DK took a step forward and Mario mirrored it with a step back.

“So… there are no ghosts…?” DK said.

“No…?”

DK stalked his way onto the porch, pausing only at the door. Mario continued to back away.

“You feeling a bit braver, big guy?” Mario said nervously. “This means we can sleep here, right?”

Testing the waters, DK placed a finger into the building. When no Boos popped out to say hello, he took a braver step in, then a few more steps. Mario continued to match his pace until he bumped into a couch.

It was a pink couch with ugly floral print. Mario didn’t need to turn around to remember that. He could feel the rough texture of the threads through his gloves.

DK continued to slowly advance on him.

“No~,” DK said in a condescending tone. “I told you. We’re heading back to the Jungle Kingdom. Tonight.”
“Just think about this, DK,” Mario said as he clambered backwards onto the couch. DK put both hands on the arm rest so he could loom over Mario. “Let’s just stay here one night. Please?”
“Mario, I already told you, I know what you’re trying to do,” DK said. He started to climb onto the couch. “The potion didn’t make me dumb.”

“That’s debatable,” a voice belonging to Luigi said.

DK looked up to find the green twin holding a bow with an arrow. A twang rang out. The arrow was dead set to hit its mark, but DK was remarkably faster. Too big to duck, he swiped his hand out and deflected. The arrow fell to the floor and scooted away.

Jaw slack and brow furrowed, DK looked at the offending arrow on the floor, then traced the trajectory right back to Luigi. With more time to process his surroundings, he saw E. Gadd hiding behind Luigi.

“I uh… I might’ve messed that up,” Luigi said.

DK hunched his shoulders and let out a threatening growl. He looked to Mario, ready to grab and bolt. When his eyes landed on the plumber, he saw he was reaching for… the arrow!

DK and Mario lunged for it. Mario grabbed the arrow and DK grabbed his wrist. There they scrambled for it, with DK trying to take the arrow from Mario’s hands, and Mario doing everything he could to play keep away. Even in the scrambling, DK did what he could to not squish the smaller man, trying to pin Mario as he thrashed about.

With one slip up, Mario had a hand free, and took the opportunity to stab the arrow into DK’s arm. It was in this quick moment that DK noticed the tip was green rather than pink. As the head of the arrow sunk past his fur, drawing blood, DK cried out and stumbled back.

No. No, no, no. DK’s breath was quickening. He knew what that arrow must mean. His eyes went back to Mario, who was on his knees, hands up to try and appease him.

“It’ll only be a few minutes for the potion to take effect!” E. Gadd decided to supply, unhelpfully. DK shook his head back and forth.

This was it then. He was minutes away from losing. His temper flared, angrier than ever.

“DK?” Mario said. Gently, and hesitantly, Mario laid hands onto DK’s arm.

Worldlessly, DK snatched up Mario, and bolted out the door. There were shouts of protests as the other two humans tried to follow after, but DK was deep into the dark woods before the others even made it onto the porch.

 

During the hasty getaway, Mario didn’t bother struggling. He didn’t know how long it would take for the medicine to work its way through the large ape’s system, but it would be any moment now.

They had been sprinting through the dark woods for some time. Then the sprint turned towards a gallop, which then turned into a walk, then finally became a far slower speed. Before Mario could even wonder if DK had grown tired, there was a soft, suppressed noise. DK was crying.

“DK?” Mario said.

The larger ape ignored him. Instead they came to a stop at the base of a mushroom. DK gasped for breath, clearly fighting against his urge to cry, but stifled sobs still escaped him. A frustrated snarl interrupted the tears as DK pounced and clamored up to the mushroom tree. He parked them both there, Mario on his lap.

It was there he cried more openly. All the guilt from before came washing back into Mario. He held up his gloved hands, flexed his fingers when he hesitated, then tentatively placed his palms on either of DK’s arms.

“Hey… hey…” Mario leaned in. DK took to the comfort. He wrapped an arm and pulled Mario in. “It’s going to be okay…”

DK sniffled. “I know,”- with his free hand, he pressed the base of his hand roughly against his eye -“I’m so sorry about everything. But I’m not ready to lose you.” 

With a little more confidence, Mario began to soothingly rub a hand up and down DK’s arm. He gave an apologetic smile.

“N’aww, it hasn’t been your fault,” Mario said. He shrugged. “And you don’t have to lose me, you know.”

DK gave an unconvinced grunt.

“Look, I know for you it's been the potion talking, but for me…” Mario trailed off. “DK, I like you. I really like you. And part of me was conflicted.”

“Conflicted of what, exactly?” DK said. The prince sniffled, but his tears had slowed. “You like me and I like you.”

Mario steadied his breath. He felt a little like crying himself.

“And how was I to know for sure?” Mario said. “I want to be with you, genuinely. But I can’t be with you if your feelings aren’t real.”

“They are real. That’s how the potion works, isn’t it?” DK said.

“Maybe…” Mario said. Despite everything, hope began to bloom in him. “Then… when you’re cured… maybe we can get that date? A proper one?”

“Mario,” he said. He pressed his forehead to the smaller man. Mario’s soothing hands slowed and settled. Fingers were buried into fur. “Mario, I…” What more was there to say? He grabbed the smaller man and pulled him against himself. And there they settled. Holding each other.

Then DK slowly lifted his head. Mario watched as subtle changes went across DK’s features, a thin veil being lifted off his head. They stared at each other a moment, studying each other.

This was it! DK was cured. Mario wasn’t sure how he knew, but he knew. A smile lit up across Mario’s face, and his hand went over DK’s knuckles.

“H-how do you feel?” Mario said. DK looked at where Mario was touching him. His brow furrowed.

“Different,” DK said. He felt like himself again, for sure, and yet the feelings felt foreign. Like getting home after being away for so long, and reintroducing himself back to a familiar routine. 

“I-” Mario pressed his fingers against DK. “-DK, that’s wonderful!” DK said nothing of it, just looking Mario over, like he was seeing him for the first time. “I suppose I owe you a date?” 

DK looked again where their hands were touching. With hesitance, he pulled his hand away.

“DK?” Mario said. DK finally began shaking his head. “No?”

“No,” DK said. Mario’s heart sank. “No, you were right.”

“I- What?”

Stiffly and hurriedly, DK lifted Mario up off of him, and moved him to the side instead. The top of the mushroom was a lot colder than DK’s lap.

“...DK?” Mario said. He tried to not sound heartbroken. He really tried. But his voice came out cracked and wavered.

“I just…” DK began. He got up on all fours and began to back away. “Uh… thank you for curing me. Thank your brother for me too, will you?”

Just like that, DK stumbled down the tree, and took off running.

Mario sat still. Stunned.

Then the events caught up to him. What it took to get to this point. What lead up to it. The moment in the arena. The arrow. The kiss. What he was feeling.

For the first time in weeks, with DK now cured and safe, Mario let himself acknowledge his emotions. His heart shredded in his chest then and there. With a muffled sob, he buckled over, hands over his mouth, and forehead to the mushroom top. 

It was fake. That had all been fake. Mario had spent weeks being showered in affection and kind gestures, part of him had even grown used to it. Now it was all ripped away from him. It didn’t matter if he saw the ending coming, it tore up his heart and his lungs, and he was powerless to change things.

Mario stayed up there for a long while. He wasn’t moved until Luigi and E. Gadd later found him.

Notes:

Next chapter is the last one, trust bro

Thank you to VerbenaHuet for beta reading!

Notes:

Some discord mutuals of mine just gave me some funny ideas, so stay tuned for chapter 2 T-T