Chapter Text
My childhood bends beside me. Too far for me to lay a hand there once or lightly.
Dramatis Personae
(In order of appearance)
Hinata Shouyou: 18-22. A young man in search of his wings.
Kageyama Tobio: 17-21. A setter.
Oikawa Tooru: 22. Also a setter.
ACT I
October 2nd, 2013. A high school gym; Miyagi Prefecture, Japan. Upstage left and right are two poles where a volleyball net could be hung, though the space is currently bare. The following scene takes place entirely on one “side” of the net. Stage left is KAGEYAMA TOBIO, a high school Senior. Stage right is HINATA SHOUYOU, also a Senior, but noticeably shorter than KAGEYAMA. KAGEYAMA could easily pass for a college kid, while HINATA is still regularly mistaken for a first-year. Years ago they both dedicated their lives to volleyball, and, later, though much more silently, each other. Between them is a rolling cart full of volleyballs.
At rise, HINATA and KAGEYAMA are doing basic passing drills, sending a ball back and forth. The routine is so practiced as to be second nature, and if one falters even slightly, the other immediately adjusts. They are a well-oiled machine that has been polished to perfection.
HINATA: So.
KAGEYAMA: What?
HINATA: Don’t say it like that!
KAGEYAMA: Like what?
HINATA: All annoyed and grouchy.
KAGEYAMA: Hinata.
HINATA: I’m getting to it!
KAGEYAMA: Fine.
HINATA: ...
KAGEYAMA: We can pass the ball in silence, you know.
HINATA: No! I have something to ask!
KAGEYAMA: Alright.
HINATA: ...
KAGEYAMA: ...
HINATA: .....
KAGEYAMA: So…
HINATA: What?
KAGEYAMA: Are you asking me or not, idiot?
HINATA: Asking you what?
KAGEYAMA: The thing—augh!
Instead of passing, KAGEYAMA jumps to spike the ball down into HINATA’s face. HINATA, ever quick, immediately backs up and crouches down, perfectly digging the ball and sending it in an elegant arc across the room.
KAGEYAMA: Asshole.
HINATA: You’re the one trying to kill me!
KAGEYAMA grabs a new ball from the cart and tosses it to HINATA.
KAGEYAMA: Don’t be dramatic. You received it fine.
HINATA: Yeah, because I’ve spent years training to deflect your murder attempts!
KAGEYAMA: As though you’ve never taken a volleyball to the face before.
HINATA: Not funny. This is my money maker.
KAGEYAMA: You asked to borrow 500 yen yesterday for the vending machine.
HINATA: So what?
KAGEYAMA: Just saying. Doesn’t seem like you’re making much.
HINATA: Wha—
HINATA is so shocked by this that he completely forgets to bump the ball, and it bounces to the floor behind him.
HINATA: Ah, darn it!
KAGEYAMA: Distracted?
HINATA grabs a new ball; the cycle continues.
HINATA: Yes. Sometimes I forget I trained you to tell jokes.
KAGEYAMA: You did not train me.
HINATA: Did so.
KAGEYAMA: Did not.
HINATA: Did so! Our first year, all you knew how to do was glower and brood. Now you only glower and brood, like, 80% of the time.
KAGEYAMA: The other 20% is for sleep.
HINATA: See! Another one! When did you become so funny, Yama-Yama?
KAGEYAMA: Whatever, weirdo.
HINATA does a silly fancy move on his next pass. Maybe a spin and flourish.
KAGEYAMA: So, what were you going to ask me?
HINATA: Huh?
KAGEYAMA: Your thing.
HINATA: What thing?
KAGEYAMA: You are a human fucking goldfish.
HINATA: Rude!
KAGEYAMA: You never had anything to ask, did you? You were just talking nonsense.
HINATA: For your information, it was definitely super important. Whatever it was.
KAGEYAMA: What important thing could you possibly have to ask me?
HINATA: I dunno. Like, how badly do the orange uniforms clash with my hair?
KAGEYAMA: Horribly.
HINATA: Easy for you to say! Black hair goes with everything.
KAGEYAMA: Nah. We all look stupid in the orange uniforms.
HINATA: Except Nishinoya!
KAGEYAMA: …Except Nishinoya.
HINATA: May he rest in peace.
KAGEYAMA: Don’t talk about him like he’s dead. He just graduated.
HINATA: Yeah. Graduated to heaven. And so young…
KAGEYAMA ignores the ball completely to attack HINATA. They playfully wrestle for a minute. When they collide, it is a strange combination of choreographed athleticism and the uncomfortable viscerality of casual teenage boy violence.
KAGEYAMA: You’re so fucking stupid.
HINATA: It’s okay, Yama. I can always tell when you’re laughing on the inside, even if no one else can.
KAGEYAMA is, in fact, laughing a little on the inside.
KAGEYAMA: Yeah, whatever.
KAGEYAMA catches HINATA in a headlock. They both simultaneously accept that it is time to stop wrestling. KAGEYAMA grabs a new ball and passes.
HINATA: Kaito is a pretty good libero.
KAGEYAMA: He’s alright. Our defense still needs to solidify.
HINATA: It’s hard to compete with Noya. But he’s good!
KAGEYAMA: Nishinoya was excellent. He could've gone pro.
HINATA: I know! I still don’t get why he didn’t.
KAGEYAMA: Neither do I.
HINATA: I mean, traveling is cool, I guess…
KAGEYAMA: It’s a waste of his talent.
HINATA: Hm. Maybe. Oh!
KAGEYAMA: Hm?
HINATA: I just remembered my question!
KAGEYAMA: And?
HINATA: How are you feeling about qualifiers?
KAGEYAMA: That’s it?
HINATA: Well?
KAGEYAMA: Hinata, we have this conversation every day.
HINATA: Yeah! And every day, I want to know your answer!
KAGEYAMA: Dumbass.
HINATA: If you’re interested—
KAGEYAMA: I’m not.
HINATA: —I’m feeling fantastic about them. Our team is really, really strong right now.
KAGEYAMA: Sure. And it’s our second year without having to worry about Ushiwaka.
HINATA: Okay well yes obviously and that too. But we’re also really good!
KAGEYAMA: We’re fine.
HINATA: We’re great!
KAGEYAMA: But are we good enough to beat Itachiyama?
HINATA: …Well.
KAGEYAMA: Yeah.
HINATA: I’m not worrying about that yet! Qualifiers first.
KAGEYAMA: Whatever you say.
A beat.
HINATA: …We could maybe beat Itachiyama. Under the right conditions.
KAGEYAMA: Yeah.
HINATA: But we also have months to train to get even better! And then we’ll crush them!
KAGEYAMA: Okay.
HINATA: Yes, Kageyama! Okay indeed!
KAGEYAMA: We have to do well at the Spring Tournament.
HINATA: Yeah, obviously.
KAGEYAMA: Scouts will be there.
HINATA: Mostly college scouts.
KAGEYAMA: Sure. But also pro scouts.
HINATA: I know.
KAGEYAMA: When’s our next practice match with Nekoma?
HINATA: I don’t know. A couple weeks? You’re the vice captain, you should know.
KAGEYAMA: Do you think that’s weird?
HINATA: What? No, we play Nekoma all the time.
KAGEYAMA: Not that. Me being vice-captain.
HINATA: Oh. I mean, not really? You’re the best player on the team.
KAGEYAMA: That doesn’t matter.
HINATA: Of course it matters. Are you stupid?
KAGEYAMA: Don’t call me stupid, stupid. I mean the vice captain doesn’t have to be a good player. Suga wasn’t that good of a player.
HINATA: Hey! Take that back!
KAGEYAMA: You know what I mean.
HINATA: You’re such a jerk.
KAGEYAMA: I was starting setter.
HINATA: I remember. He also saved your ass a couple times.
KAGEYAMA: Of course. But I’m making a point.
HINATA: A point to be obnoxious.
KAGEYAMA: Shut the hell up. I’m saying playing ability doesn’t matter that much when choosing captains.
HINATA: Of course it matters. It always matters.
KAGEYAMA: Then why aren’t we captain and vice-captain?
HINATA: Because we all agreed it was best if Yamaguchi did it.
KAGEYAMA: Exactly. Because you didn’t want to.
HINATA: Sure. Seems boring.
KAGEYAMA: But why didn’t you want to be vice captain?
HINATA: Because you were going to be vice captain.
KAGEYAMA: But it doesn’t make any sense for me to be!
HINATA: Sure it does.
KAGEYAMA: Why not you?
HINATA: Dunno. I think Yamaguchi suggested it and Tsukishima said something along the lines of “Under no circumstances are we putting Hinata in a position of authority,” if I remember right.
KAGEYAMA: God, fuck that guy.
HINATA shrugs
HINATA: It is what it is.
KAGEYAMA: It should be you. The underclassmen all like you more than me.
HINATA: Yeeeah, but only because I’m not in charge of them, you know?
KAGEYAMA: No.
HINATA: It’s like… how you could never be casual friends with Oikawa-san.
KAGEYAMA: Don’t compare me to him.
HINATA: Alright, whatever, the idea still stands. Or how it’d be awkward my first year if just me and Daichi went out to grab dinner, but not if me and Noya did.
KAGEYAMA: So if I wasn’t vice-captain, you think the underclassmen would hang out with me more?
HINATA: …Well.
KAGEYAMA: Yeah.
HINATA: You’re different! Everyone is intimidated by you.
KAGEYAMA: Not you.
HINATA: Well, duh. I’ve known you too long. And hit too many of your tosses.
KAGEYAMA: What does that have to do with anything?
HINATA: You’re not so scary of a setter when you’re setting to me. Because your tosses are my favorite to hit.
KAGEYAMA: Maybe my sets need to get scarier, then.
HINATA: Try all you want, I’ll never be afraid to hit a volleyball you send my way!
KAGEYAMA rolls his eyes in lieu of examining how HINATA saying that makes him feel. A few beats of silence as they pass the ball.
KAGEYAMA: …Do you think Karasuno will still be good after we leave?
HINATA: Of course! Volleyball is a team sport. We’ve built good foundations here. The torch will be passed.
KAGEYAMA: I guess.
They both, in a secret and dark part of their hearts, hope (just a little bit) that Karasuno will suffer as a team after they leave. Like many, they desire nothing more than proof of their individual necessity.
HINATA: And who knows what the upcoming class will be like? Maybe they’ll have a new monster duo. Or a monster trio!
KAGEYAMA: How the hell would a volleyball monster trio even work?
HINATA: Receive, set, spike.
KAGEYAMA: I mean. Okay.
HINATA: Common sense, Yama!
KAGEYAMA: Of course. How silly of me.
HINATA: You need to learn how to use that brain of yours for things other than setting.
KAGEYAMA: Why would I care about anything else?
HINATA: Actually… good point. You can keep being really smart at volleyball and really stupid at all the other stuff.
KAGEYAMA: You’re one to talk.
HINATA: Hey! I got a higher score than you on our last English exam.
KAGEYAMA: And I got a higher score in Math, what’s your point?
HINATA: Keep talking big, but one day you’re going to be lost in the middle of America and really wish you had your old pal Hinata around to translate for you with his brilliant language talents.
KAGEYAMA: Why the hell would I be lost in the middle of America?
HINATA: I dunno, volleyball? That’s not important!
KAGEYAMA: Then what is?
HINATA: I’m saying my skills are more practical than yours. And one day, you’re really going to miss them!
What HINATA is really saying is: one day, Tobio, you’re going to miss me. KAGEYAMA has already accepted this. In fact, he has accepted it to the point where he is already missing HINATA, despite standing across from him. He does not say this.
KAGEYAMA: Whatever.
HINATA: Just you wait. Soon enough, I’ll be totally fluent in English.
KAGEYAMA: No way you’re actually studying.
HINATA: Well, no, but also.. kind of! I started watching episodes of Naruto dubbed in English, and I’ve been trying to read this book.
KAGEYAMA: Watching anime is not studying. And you can read?
HINATA: Jerk, you know I can.
KAGEYAMA: What kind of book?
HINATA: This big old English book. Or like, Irish, I guess, but it’s in English.
KAGEYAMA: How old?
HINATA: Uhh, around a hundred years, I think?
KAGEYAMA: Gross. Why are you reading that?
HINATA: I dunno, I wanted a challenge! It’s really weird, though.
KAGEYAMA: All old books are weird.
HINATA: I guess.
The weird old Irish book in question is, of course, Ulysses by James Joyce, one of the most influential novels ever written and a titan of modernist literature. HINATA doesn’t care about any of that, though; he likes that it’s difficult and beautiful and crude. He likes that it isn’t the kind of book anyone would expect him to read.
HINATA: Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you…
KAGEYAMA: Yeah?
HINATA: About post-graduation.
KAGEYAMA: I’m going pro.
HINATA: I know that, stupid. I’m talking about me, here. Not all of us are genius setters that get to be scouted in high school.
KAGEYAMA: I thought we were both going to get scouted.
HINATA: Well. Maybe! Hopefully.
KAGEYAMA: How would we play against each other if you’re not also in the v-league?
HINATA: I don’t know, Kageyama! What I’m trying to say is, getting scouted isn’t a guaranteed thing for me like it is for you.
KAGEYAMA: What about it, then?
HINATA: I was thinking of going to Brazil.
HINATA’s pass flies past KAGEYAMA, who is frozen in shock.
KAGEYAMA: What?
HINATA: I was talking with Washijō-sensei about it…
KAGEYAMA: So? Fuck that guy, I thought he hated you.
HINATA: No—it’s. It’s complicated. That’s not the point.
KAGEYAMA: Brazil?
HINATA: Yeah, Rio.
KAGEYAMA: What the hell is in Brazil?
HINATA: Well, beach volleyball, for one.
KAGEYAMA: Since when are you interested in beach volleyball?
HINATA: I don’t know! Since recently! It’s really different from indoor, makes you a more well-rounded player. Pushes you.
KAGEYAMA: And Washijō-sensei told you all of this?
HINATA: So what if he did?
KAGEYAMA: He has never looked out for your success!
HINATA: You don’t get it!
KAGEYAMA: What’s not to get? You’re moving across the world because some old man who refuses to let you into his training camps said so?
HINATA: You’re not listening to me!
KAGEYAMA: I really think I am.
HINATA: No, you’re not. This would be good for me. I need… I need to learn how to be on my own. How to be a great player without you.
KAGEYAMA: You’re already a great player.
HINATA: I’m fine. But that isn’t good enough.
KAGEYAMA: I just don’t understand—Brazil?
HINATA: Tobio, I need to get better. I need to leave Japan.
KAGEYAMA: But why?
HINATA: I’ve spent my whole life in Miyagi. A new country, a new terrain, a new playstyle—it’s what I need. Something radically different.
KAGEYAMA: I just. I’m just having a hard time understanding.
HINATA: I know.
KAGEYAMA: I always thought you’d stay here.
HINATA: It’s okay.
KAGEYAMA: You could at least try out for some teams, even if you don’t get scouted. You could play for a university.
HINATA: College? Kageyama, let’s be real; there’s no timeline where I survive university, even on a volleyball scholarship.
KAGEYAMA: But you’re reading that weird old book.
HINATA: That’s not—what do you think college is?
KAGEYAMA: Brazil is like… an entire ocean away.
HINATA: Yeah. It’ll be good for me.
KAGEYAMA: What are you trying to run away from?
HINATA: …I don’t know.
This is, as the reader may have anticipated, a lie. HINATA knows exactly what he’s running away from: KAGEYAMA TOBIO, and the very long, very dark shadow he casts over HINATA. He needs to go somewhere where he is a ghost, completely obscure. A place where nobody has heard of genius high school setter KAGEYAMA and nobody will expect HINATA to be some sort of force of nature unleashed at KAGEYAMA’s will. He needs to learn to be himself, to be the kind of player that transforms and demolishes a court, all on his own merit. In Brazil, he will learn who he is, and he will learn what he can be. KAGEYAMA, expectedly, does not understand this yet.
KAGEYAMA: You don’t know?
HINATA: It’s not about running away from anything; it’s about running toward a new future, a new level of skill and expertise.
KAGEYAMA: …I will never understand you.
An important piece of characterization: KAGEYAMA TOBIO is in love with HINATA SHOUYOU. It is not blinding, not all-consuming, but it is love. A piercing kind of love that burrows deep into the darkest part of him and plants roots. It is a love that will stick to the inside of his ribs and grow mold, never releasing its vice grip. It will haunt him for half a decade.
HINATA: Gee, thanks for all the support, Kageyama.
KAGEYAMA: I—
HINATA: I get you wanted me to stick around and be your cheerleader forever, but I’m actually going somewhere. I’m going to really do something, become someone!
KAGEYAMA: That’s not what I fucking—
HINATA: Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s, it’s fine.
KAGEYAMA: No, I’m. I. Hm.
HINATA: No need to force it.
KAGEYAMA: Give me a second to think!
HINATA: Okay, fine.
A beat.
KAGEYAMA: …I hope you get what you want out of Brazil.
HINATA evaluates this. It’s not perfect, but he will take what he can get.
HINATA: Alright. Thank you. Me too.
KAGEYAMA: I still expect to see you on the national stage.
HINATA: Well, duh! Once I’m back from Brazil, it’ll be all over for you. I’m going to pull off crazy moves you’ve never even seen before in your life.
KAGEYAMA: I doubt it. I’ve seen a lot of volleyball.
HINATA: Sure, but you still haven’t seen me at the top of my game. I’ll be unstoppable, one day.
KAGEYAMA: That, I can believe.
HINATA: Oh?
KAGEYAMA: You heard me.
HINATA: Hmm, not sure I did. Could you say it one more time, reeally slowly?
KAGEYAMA: No. Your head is too big as it is.
HINATA: Is not! You’re one to talk, Mr. King! How does your crown even fit over that giant skull of yours?
KAGEYAMA: Shut up. When do you leave?
HINATA: Uh, like, an hour? We usually leave together.
KAGEYAMA: No—not, god, fucking—. I meant for Brazil.
HINATA: Oh! I dunno. Not until after graduation, for sure. I was thinking of taking a year off in between.
KAGEYAMA: Off from volleyball?
HINATA: Of course not! Off from… I don’t know, worrying about everything all the time? I’ll work to save up for Brazil and practice whenever I’m not working.
KAGEYAMA: So long as Karasuno does well at the Spring tournament, I’ll probably get scouted. So I’ll play pro. I won’t be in Miyagi anymore.
HINATA: Yeah, I know that.
KAGEYAMA: So.
HINATA: What?
KAGEYAMA: …Do you think we’ll see each other after we graduate, before you leave the country?
HINATA: Oh. Um. I dunno, maybe? We’ll both be pretty busy.
KAGEYAMA: …Yeah.
HINATA: Do you want me to visit you?
KAGEYAMA: …
HINATA: Well?
KAGEYAMA: Do whatever you want.
HINATA: Figures. You can also come visit me, you know. If you’re ever feeling homesick for your favorite decoy.
He would like to be wrong, but, deep down, HINATA knows the chances of KAGEYAMA coming back to visit him in Miyagi are slim to none.
KAGEYAMA: Alright.
HINATA: You should call me, though. Sometimes. If you want.
KAGEYAMA: After graduation?
HINATA: Yeah. And in Brazil. I won’t really know anyone out there.
KAGEYAMA: Do you know Spanish?
HINATA: Kinda. But they speak Portuguese.
KAGEYAMA: Do you know Portuguese?
HINATA: Er. No. I’ll start learning in the next year.
KAGEYAMA: Maybe you should learn to speak Japanese correctly before adding another new language.
HINATA: Shut up! My Japanese is fine!
KAGEYAMA: You’ll probably forget it all trying to learn another one. When you come back it’ll only be Portuguese.
HINATA: That’s not gonna happen! My English is already pretty good, and I’ve started learning Spanish, and I’m still talking with you perfectly fine, aren’t I?
KAGEYAMA: Hard to tell. Half the time you communicate in explosion noises.
HINATA: And half the time you communicate in annoyed grunts. I should start calling you caveman-Yama.
KAGEYAMA: That doesn’t even make sense.
HINATA: Yes it does!
HINATA catches the ball in his hands and holds it.
HINATA: …How would we even communicate?
KAGEYAMA: What?
HINATA: If I completely forgot Japanese. Woke up with amnesia or whatever.
KAGEYAMA: Oh.
HINATA: Well?
KAGEYAMA: …Volleyball.
HINATA: Don’t be stupid; how would that even work? Spike for “Yes,” block for “No?”
KAGEYAMA: Something like that.
HINATA: You’re such a little weirdo.
KAGEYAMA: You’re one to talk.
HINATA: You’re way more of a freak than me!
KAGEYAMA: No way; you’re the littlest and the weirdest.
This comment, expectedly, sparks a new bout of wrestling. It continues until their respective fleeting annoyances have dissolved. HINATA brushes off his shorts.
HINATA: …Can I spike some tosses?
KAGEYAMA: Sure.
Neither is wise enough yet to name it, but this question, posed daily, has become its own kind of romance. Sex and sensuality still feel dark, distant; but this relationship—the one that exists between setter and spiker when they accomplish a superhuman quick attack—is the one form of love they understand.
They begin setting up the volleyball net, stretching it down the center stage line. This is an old ritual, so routine as to be almost religious. As HINATA and KAGEYAMA raise the net together, the lights fade.
BLACKOUT
END ACT I