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”Sakura-kun?”
“Hm?”
“You like me, right?” Suo quipped, twirling his tassel earrings.
“huh-what, yeah I guess, why?” Sakura blushes, having been asked that out of the blue.
“hmmm”
“What is it? Spit it out, I can’t read your mind.” Sakura glares.
“nothing in particular, just some wondering” Suo laughs,
It hadn’t been long since they started dating, just a few months back. It all started with a nonchalant “meet me at the rooftop”, which then ended with blushing Sakura and Suo’s changshan collar being slightly ruffled.
But it had already been a few months already.
Yes, Suo was a gentleman. He strived to always make Sakura happy, protect him (although he didn’t need protection) and attack others if needed (although Sakura would probably have destroyed most of their bones by then). He never wanted to make Sakura uncomfortable, he loved to tease, but knew when to step back.
Sometimes, Suo worried, that he wasn’t the best fit partner for Sakura. Sakura was the dazzling leader in Bofurin, never afraid to take action to help people, but hesitant to make the first move in their relationship. Suo worried that he made Sakura look inferior, that Sakura could do better, deserve more. Or if Sakura wasn’t comfortable with him, he would leave, no strings attached.
And he hated this part of him. The beast or monster, whose name was selfish and desire, wanted to be sated. Suo felt him, and buried it inside.
During patrols, Suo let himself play defensive, he didn’t attack. Sakura caught on, thought he was protecting the victims, although he did give him a funny look, protected Suo as well.
There was one day that Suo did get injured, he hid them. Tended to his own wounds, grimacing quietly behind Sakura’s back, but well as a dutiful boyfriend, Sakura found out and went all protective. Unable to decide between being concerned for Suo or getting back at those who hurt Suo, Sakura didn’t know what to do. Suo hated such a helpless expression.
On days where the longing grew too deep, Suo would wear clothes that covered his hands, to hide the crescent moon shaped marks on his palms from clenching too tight. It was all he could do that felt right at the moment.
Sakura knew of these moments. He had noticed, the moments that Suo retracted back, seemed guilty. But he couldn’t put his finger on it, so on one of these days, Sakura asked him out.
“Really? I’d be glad to but ah- I’m afraid not today, sorry Sakura-kun.”
“How come? Are you…sick?”
“Hm, yeah, I guess, sort of.” Suo laughed, but not his bright and full laugh, but a self-deprecating one. Sakura hated it.
“I’m coming over.”
“You don’t need to, I’m-“
Sakura knew. He wasn’t the best at relationships, but something about the pain in his voice made Sakura’s chest /clench/.
“Sorry for the intrusion.”
“Sakura-kun! What a gentleman to visit!”
“You seem to be perfectly fine.” Sakura retorted, ears turning red at Suo’s tease.
Suo laughs, “I’ll put on some tea. Wait a bit in my room.”
Taking a seat in Suo’s room, Sakura realises that Suo’s room, unlike his, give off a tea party kind of atmosphere. Display cases of different tea sets, some with intricate designs of animals, some with simple flowers. Suo really likes tea cups, Sakura smiles to himself.
Standing blankly in the kitchen, Suo stares mutely at the kettle. It had been long boiled for a while, but something inside him didn’t want to go, to face Sakura. So there he stood, for a bit too long perhaps.
“Hey.” A pair of slender arms slid around his waist.
“Yes, Sakura-kun?”
“You do know you can tell me anything right?”
“Yes?”
“And you do know that I love you right?”
“Mhm. What are you getting at?”
“And since you do know that I love you, you do know that you can ask for things from me right? Anything in particular.”
“Yes…” Ah, he had hit the nail on the head.
“Tell me then, since I’m here already, what you want.”
“Nothing at all, just having Sakura-kun here is enough.”
“Then can I ask for something?” Sakura asks shyly, pulling them towards the couch.
“Go ahead.”
“Come here.” Sakura pulls Suo towards him. Suo worries his lip for a while, before sitting in his lap.
Warm arms embrace him, with fingers stroking through his hair, as Sakura pulls him towards his chest.
Something about it is so warm, so gentle that Suo starts to cry. It starts of quiet, with a little shaking.
“Let it out, it’s been tough, hm?”
Suo then sobs, trying to muffle his sobs by biting his lips, trying to push Sakura away from him, not wanting Sakura to see this pathetic side of him, hiding away his vulnerable self.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just me. You can cry, you’re allowed to cry, you know?” Sakura tilts Suo’s face up, placing featherlight kisses on his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose everywhere.
Suo bawls, he knows he doesn’t deserve this kindness, he’s supposed to be the strong one in the relationship, he isn’t supposed to break down like this. Nevertheless, Sakura still holds him tight, whispering sweet nothings, placing kisses on his hair and his ears, gently untangling the knots in his hair, unfazed.
But he must stop. Sakura shouldn’t have to deal with a mess like this. He must, must, must-
“sorry”
“Why?”
“you don’t deserve a mess like me, I’m just an obstruct-“ Before Suo could even finish, Sakura had gone for it, kissing Suo.
“Don’t you ever, ever, say that about yourself. You, Suo, have one of the most graceful and unique martial arts I’ve ever seen, not that I’ve seen many, but it truly deserves the title of a gentleman. Not just fighting, you have such a cheerful personality that brightens up the room, and I could never tell you how, how lucky I was to have you as my partner. So, please, please, don’t degrade yourself from what you deserve, and even if you do, I’m going to tell you how great you are, and keep reminding you I love you. Even if you forget, or when you’re old, I’ll keep telling you, I love you. You have me on my word.”
Suo laughs while Sakura pouts. Unshed teardrops collect near his eyes, and Sakura closes in and kisses them away. Rubbing away the tear tracks, Sakura pulls them both to the tatami floor, spooning Suo.
“Really?”
“…”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”