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In the capital engulfed in flames. there is a young man and an half-elf girl. The young man is the reason why the capital is engulfed in flames, and now he is impaled by an ice pillar through his chest, soon to die. The name of the young man is none other than Natsuki Subaru, Sin Archbishop of Pride (he called himself that).
The half-elf girl was crying and muttering. She is the one who launched the ice pillar that pierced through Subaru's chest. She is standing right next to Subaru, watching him die. The name of the elf girl is none other than Emilia, just Emilia.
"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why....." Her mouth keeps muttering constantly. The questions 'Why' appear in her mind.
[Why are you doing this?]
[Why does everything have to turn out like this?]
[Why did you willingly sacrifice your life for me?]
[Why.....]
There are many questions currently in Emilia's mind, her mind is almost breaking apart because of too many 'Why?' questions.
Subaru, who is currently gasping for breath as his death is about to happen, has read the thoughts of Emilia having many questions. And even though he wants to answer all those "Why," Subaru doesn't have much time left.
So he lets his final breath carry his answer.
"—I love you" is the final answer that Subaru says to Emilia.
After the death at the hands of the person he loves, Subaru finds himself in a familiar place. Around him is only darkness, loneliness, and uncertainty. A familiar world that he has come to thousands of times after each death.
But the loneliness will disappear when Subaru hears a familiar voice, repeated over and over again. The voice was none other than Emilia's, the voice that no one else has but Emilia. But even though the voices are similar, Subaru knows that the person he loves is currently in a different world, so he knows that the person currently speaking to him is only that person.
Subaru turns towards where the voice is coming from. There Subaru sees a girl with silver hair, she is wearing a black dress or rather a dress woven from darkness, from the neck part becoming covered in pitch-black darkness. She is currently covering her head with a layer of pitch-black darkness that makes it impossible for him to see her face.
And as usual, Subaru knows the words that she will say next.
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you..."
The voice expresses love repeatedly is repeated many times. It is directed towards a young man with a terrifying gaze, who is indifferent to the love that the white-haired girl expresses to him
"Ha! How many times have I told you, Satella?!! No matter how much you express your love for me, my love will always be for Emilia!!!" Subaru said with arrogance, not caring about the feelings the white-haired girl was expressing her love for him.
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me....." She still expressed her love to Subaru as if to force him to accept her love
"It seems like I'm dead forever and stuck here with you, Satella?" Subaru asked her, he wasn't sure if he was dead forever or not
"Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me....."
"*Sigh* You're still trying to express your feelings to me, Satella! But I don't love you and I don't even know who you are, so how can I respond to your feelings!"
Subaru feels upset as Satella keeps expressing her feelings to him repeatedly without any pause.
"Anyway, it seems like I'm permanently dead! In that case, Emilia-tan will ascend to the throne after killing me, the villain, the sinful Archbishop. So her dream of becoming the emperor will come true—" Subaru's voice expresses joy when thinking about the person he loves fulfilling their dream.
Upon hearing Subaru's words, Satella stops repeating the words of love to him.
"My life is finally worth serving the dream of the one I love. That bastard Reinhard has lost his title of the Sword Saint for failing to protect everyone. Haha! I don't care about myself anymore! Now, under my death, Emilia-tan will—"
"NO!!! You must live!!! My beloved....."
"—Huhh???"
Just when Subaru was happily talking about his achievement with Satella, she interrupted him, no longer speaking words of love. Subaru can sense that Satella's voice seems to have changed as if someone else is speaking to him, not the person who kept repeating love to him.
"You must continue your journey! I won't let you die in such a worthless way because I love you, so you must live happily!!!"
"Huh!? What the hell are you talking about—"
Just before Subaru could ask Satella, his consciousness became chaotic, his vision became extremely blurry. Satella became blurry in Subaru's sight.. And then he could only see darkness.
"Mmmmgh!" Subaru whined as light shone into his eyes while he was closing them.
Subaru didn't know where he was. He felt like he was lying in an extremely comfortable place, like lying on a royal bed. He tried to open his eyes to see where he was, his vision became colorful and in front of Subaru was an unfamiliar ceiling.
"I don't know this ceiling," Subaru said wearily, feeling his body extremely exhausted as if he had just gone through a horrific torture.
Subaru didn't recognize this ceiling, it was different from the familiar ceiling he had seen before. This was not the Checkpoint he had seen thousands of times to kill Reinhard.
[This is not my house. Where the hell am I???] This was the question in Subaru's mind.
The house Subaru was referring to was the house he bought with his own money, a house that included members like Elsa, Meili, and Blue. He considered the house as a hiding place, a Checkpoint... a family.
While Subaru was confused, not knowing where he was, there were simultaneous screams calling his name—
???:"SUBARU/SUBARU-KUN/CAP'N!!!!!!!!"
Before Subaru knew who was screaming, a group of people suddenly grabbed him, hugged him, and cried, making him unable to breathe.
"Ghkkkk...Ghhhhnk!!!" Subaru felt like he was suffocating from the hugs of people he didn't know embracing him
When Subaru tried to look at the people hugging him, he saw four people. And one of those people made Subaru extremely shocked when he saw her
A loli with long blonde hair, tied into two pigtails that looked like drill bits, was currently burying her face on Subaru's stomach and her small fingers clinging tightly to his clothes, looking extremely cute, she was now sobbing on Subaru's belly. The girl's name is Beatrice, Natsuki Subaru's Great Spirit
A young man with blond hair and extremely sharp teeth, he had a large scar on his forehead. His face was extremely scary but right now he was crying and looked like a child. He was crying on Subaru's shoulder, making it impossible for Subaru to sit up right now. The young man's name is Garfiel, Shield of the Sanctuary
A maid named Ram, who Subaru had seen in many loops because she was always with Roswaal, always had a cold face that hid a deep, mysterious sadness. To her, he was just a disgusting person since he was a Sin Archbishop, and the only reason she worked with him was because her master ordered it. But the person standing in front of Subaru right now felt completely different. It was a "Ram" with soft blue hair. At first, Subaru thought he was in a crazy dream, because the idea of Ram actually hugging him was just impossible. That person was currently hugging his neck and crying, the strength of her hug was the reason why Subaru couldn't breathe. The girl's name is none other than Rem, the Mathers house's maid, but now just Subaru's personal maid.
And the last person is the person Subaru knows best, the love of his life, the person he always misses, committing heinous crimes to serve her dream, is none other than Emilia. She was currently doing something that Subaru couldn't believe, hugging his head and her chest pressing against his face, making him extremely suffocated by its weight, her tears kept falling on his face.
An enviable sight when an outsider was looking in, but for Subaru, he was now about to die from lack of oxygen to his brain from the strong hugs of the two girls holding his neck and head. No matter how much he struggled, he could not escape the hugs due to the extraordinary strength of those people (except Beatrice).
The four people were currently hugging Subaru and crying. Saying repetitive words about him being alive
"Subaru-kun! Subaru-kun! Subaru-kun! You're alive, you're alive! Subaru-kun....."
"Cap'n!!! I'm so glad you're alive! I'm so glad you're alive! Cap'n...."
"Betty's Subaru is alive! Betty's Subaru is alive! Betty's Subaru is alive! Please don't abandon Betty! Please don't abandon Betty! Please forgive Betty! Please forgive Betty! Please forgive Betty...."
"Subaru! Subaru! Subaru! You're still alive! You're still alive! I love you! I love you! I love you! So please don't leave me! Please don't leave me! Please don't leave me! My knight ...."
And in response to those touching words, Subaru only tried to answer one sentence
"Let.......me.......go" Subaru tried to say that but his voice was extremely weak because of the supernatural hugs that were embracing him and his body. He felt extremely weak so he couldn't scream out loud. And in that chaos, Subaru couldn't hear those words, not even Emilia's confession of love for him.
The words he uttered fell on deaf ears. They didn't hear him but just hugged him and cried non-stop
[Will I die?] That was Subaru's thoughts right now. Not to die in front of the enemy, or to die at the hands of Reinhard, or to die gloriously at the hands of the one you love. It's death by hugs, a stupid death. At least Subaru felt not bad when he pressed his face against his beloved Emilia's chest before he died
While Subaru thought he was going to die like that, a savior screamed to save him, stopping the monsters that were about to make him die.
"Subaru-kyun is about to die!!! Let him go now!!! Otherwise you guys will kill him!!!"
The person currently shouting loudly for people to let go of Subaru was none other than Blue, as Subaru called him. But now that person's real name is Felix, a knight as well as a healer.
Hearing that scream, the people holding Subaru came out of their happiness and came to their senses, tears still lingering in their eyes. They looked back at Subaru face and saw that his face had become pale, pale because he couldn't breathe. And from a state of happy and joyful, they turned to a state of fear and horror when they saw that Subaru was about to die because of the hands they had just hugged him.
"Ahhhh!!! Subaru/Subaru-kun/Cap'n!!!" They shouted in unison when they saw Subaru about to die from suffocation
And then they let go of Subaru, giving him space to sit up and breathe. He breathed hastily because his lungs were seriously lacking air.
"—Bhaahhghh!!! Auhhgggghhh!!!" Subaru quickly breathed to bring oxygen to his brain
Felix wanted to run to the bed to help Subaru, but his guilt rushed back and he didn't dare go closer to help Subaru.
"S-Subaru! *hik* I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Are you okay? I'm sorry for almost killing you, I suppose" The poor spirit apologized profusely to Subaru for almost causing him to turn off. breath. Even though it wasn't her fault
"Cap-Cap'n! Are you okay! Do you feel any pain anywhere?" The tiger boy said with worry seeing his captain like that
"S-Subaru-kun! are you okay!? Do you need Rem to help you?" Rem cried out worriedly when she saw her hero having difficulty breathing. And she also didn't know that she was the main reason why Subaru fell into this situation
Meanwhile, Emilia could only stay silent, her tears flowing again because of the feeling of guilt. Because she thought she almost killed Subaru because she hugged his head and made him unable to breathe. Actually, most of the mistakes were made by Rem
[I'm such an idiot] Emilia thought to herself like that
"—Auhhgghh!!! Wh-Where *cough* am I?" Subaru spoke with difficulty
Subaru tried to look around to see where he was, he realized he was in a strange room, there were strange but familiar faces when he saw them, one of them was a duke. with dark green hair, who was also looking at him with eyes of happiness, thrilled when he woke up but also a little worried when she saw that he had just almost died. Standing right next to her was Blue, his face showing guilt when he saw Subaru. Subaru doesn't understand why Blue is here
Near the door, Subaru saw another Ram, but this time he saw that this was the original. Her face showed surprise and her mouth smiled a little in relief at him made Subaru think he was dreaming because of that absurdity as well as the strange things that had just happened to him
[Why are there 2 Ram? And who is that Duchess? Why do I have a familiar feeling that I've seen her somewhere before?] Subaru thought in confusion as he saw someone he had seen somewhere in the past. Because in the past he erased the image of that person because he felt there was no need to remember that person anymore, so that his memories only focused on killing Reinhard.
Regain your composure. The green-haired Duchess or her real name is Crusch, one of the royal candidates. Answered Subaru's question again
"Thanks Od! Luckily you were resurrected from the dead somehow, Subaru-Sama! You are currently staying in my mansion after...." Her words stopped, not daring to say the next sentences
And everyone in the room, those next to Subaru's bed, changed from a worried state to a different attitude when they heard the words Crusch was about to say. Some people have feelings of guilt, including Beatrice, Emilia, and especially Felix. Others have feelings of anger including, Rem and Garfield
Just regained my breath. Subaru noticed that the atmosphere in the room suddenly changed in a stuffy way, no longer as vibrant as before
[What crazy thing is happening to me??? Is Satella letting me experience Return By Dead again? Blue is here. So Elsa and Meili, where have they disappeared??? And why do these strangers know my name? Ah yes! As for Emilia-tan] There were so many questions in Subaru's mind but he knew he could answer one right here
Subaru then turned to Emilia and saw her drowning in guilt, something he didn't understand. Subaru could see tears still lingering on her eyes, making Subaru feel angry when he saw her sad
"Emilia—" Subaru called out to her
Hearing Subaru's call, Emilia shook off her guilt and turned towards him, her eyes looking at him with pity and guilt. And the people inside the room including Rem, Garfield, Beatrice, Crusch, Felix and Ram who were standing right at the door, also turned their gaze towards his bed.
"Ah Subaru! I'm sorry! Are you okay—"
"—Why are you hugging me?"
"Huhh???"
Just as Emilia was about to ask if Subaru was okay, he interrupted her and asked a confusing question
"S-Subaru! What do you mean?" Emilia nervously responded to Subaru because she thought he hated her because she was—
"Someone like me doesn't deserve your embrace, Emilia-tan!"
"Huhhh??? S-Subaru?! Why do you say that?"
Surprise was evident on Emilia's face as well as everyone in the room. At first Emilia thought that Subaru would say insults towards her and she would listen to his insults because she felt she deserved it. But Subaru said he didn't deserve her, making Emilia extremely shocked
“Because I am a villain, an unforgivable villain, someone who has killed countless innocent people, Emilia-tan—”
At Subaru's words, everyone was extremely shocked, especially his close friends
"S-Subaru-kun! You can't say that! How could Rem's hero be such a person?!"
"Cap'n! That's not funny! Aren't you a hero after standing up to cheer up the people of Priestella with your speech when the witch cult attacked? How could you? How can you call yourself someone like that?!"
Both Rem and Garfiel were in shock and disbelief at Subaru's words to Emilia, they refused to believe Subaru's words about himself like that.
Meanwhile, the Great Spirit could only stay silent, her face showing sadness and pain at Subaru's words because she was afraid of his psychology now. Something she hoped would never happen
[What the hell are you talking about, Barusu???]
Ram stood right next to the door, hearing what Subaru had just said and felt shocked and horrified by what Subaru said, something rarely seen on her face.
"S-Subaru...." Emilia could only blurt out his name in shock, she felt an unease with Subaru
When Subaru heard Rem and Garfiel's words, he simply ignored them and focused only on Emilia, saying this thing he had always wanted to say to her.
[What a familiar feeling] Subaru smiled to himself as he thought of that fiery night
"—My name is Natsuki Subaru" he said his name happily, raising his arms arrogantly.
"Subaru/Subaru-kun/Cap'n/Subaru-sama/Barusu!" Everyone shouted Subaru's name because they felt he was about to say something horrifying
"Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult, representing Pride, Natsuki Subaru!!!"
The whole room fell silent at Subaru's words. The people in the room couldn't move their bodies an inch, their mouths couldn't move after hearing Subaru's words. Their faces were filled with fear and horror when they heard it, especially the words "Sin Archbishop" and "Pride".
Those especially hit hardest were Beatrice and Felix. Their bodies trembled uncontrollably, they themselves had expected this to happen in some way after seeing Subaru's strange behavior but hearing Subaru himself identify himself as Sin Archbishop of Pride. making it impossible for them to hide their emotions
The silence was broken by Emilia. Her voice became shaky, her mouth kept stuttering. She tries to talk to Subaru
"S-SUBARU!!! P-Please don't joke like tha—"
"E-Emilia-sama! Subaru-sama didn't....lie. My Divine Protection of Wind Reading didn't activate!" Crusch interrupted Emilia
Emilia turned towards Crusch, her eyes widening at the information she had just heard
"Wha-What? How is it possible!?" These were words that Emilia could only utter
Not only Emilia, all eyes turned to Crusch, their faces were shocked, shocked, and couldn't believe what the duchess said.
"C-Crusch-sama! What the hell are you talking about?! How can my Subaru-kun be...." Rem could only be stunned, her whole body trembling at the truth she just heard it
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?!! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! HOW COULD MY CAP'N BE THAT MONSTER!!!" Garfiel said with rage, he didn't care if the person in front of him was a royal candidate or not. Now he just wanted to rush over and punch Crusch in the face, even if she was a woman
"How dare you say that to Crusch-sama!" Felix, who had been silent until now, rushed to defend his master, not allowing the tiger boy to insult his master like that.
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK HERE, YOU STINKING CAT!!! IT WAS YOU THAT—"
"PLEASE CALM DOWN!!!" Crusch interrupted the angry Garfiel's words
"HUHH???" Garfiel's face became confused
In the chaos that was going on, Crusch thought of the most logical way to explain the problem at hand
"My Divine Protection of Wind Reading can blow a gust of wind when someone lies. The words Subaru-sama said before, I couldn't feel any wind at all, meaning he was telling the truth."
"OBVIOUSLY YOUR DIVINE PROTECTION IS WRONG!!! MY SUBARU-KUN WILL NOT—" Rem's anger was suddenly interrupted
"HOWEVER! If Subaru-Sama is paranoid that he himself is the Sin Archbishop of Pride after someone called him that many times then my Divine Protection of Wind Reading will not blow the wind. Is that so, Felix!! " Emphasizing his name, Crusch looked at Felix with anger and indignation
Hearing his name being mentioned, he immediately lowered his head. Felix trembled and was afraid, not daring to look at Crusch's angry eyes looking at him.
At first, the people in the room didn't understand what Crusch was saying, but then they suddenly had a creepy thought (except Subaru).
Garfiel and Rem fell into rage, turning towards Felix, with Rem herself especially directing murderous eyes towards Beatrice, who was looking down, not daring to look at anyone's face, especially Subaru. Currently Beatrice was scratching at her skin, just like Subaru did when she slept with him, now she somewhat understood what Subaru was doing when he did that, she didn't care about the pain she was causing herself, her mouth kept muttering something. The poor Great Spirit now only had to suffering over her own mistakes
Emilia just lowered her head, she didn't say anything herself, but a wave of cold air was coming out of her, towards Felix, she tried to control her mana so as not to freeze Felix, the room temperature dropped to low.
Ram prepares to rush in to hold Rem and Garfiel. If the two of them intend to attack Felix or Beatrice. She herself only felt sadness and pain at what was happening, but she hid it inside and did not let it out.
Meanwhile, Subaru is just feeling annoyed by this turn of events
[What the hell is going on???] Subaru thought uncomfortably
At first, Subaru thought everyone in this room would hate him, especially Emilia, and she would kill him again. And it seemed that the duchess had the ability to recognize lies and tell the truth, making Subaru even more certain of his prediction. But this development is completely different from what Subaru thought. All the anger was not directed at him but towards Blue, who was looking down in guilt. Emilia herself also lowered her head, not daring to look at Subaru. That made Subaru feel uncomfortable
"Turn around and look at me Emilia!!!" Subaru ordered Emilia, asking her to turn around and look towards him Hearing Subaru call her name, Emilia was startled, the cold wind she released stopped. At first, she just hesitated, not daring to turn her head to face Subaru, but after a while she turned back, her head still bowed, not daring to raise her head to face Subaru.
"..................." Emilia didn't say anything to Subaru. Seeing Emilia stay silent made Subaru feel upset
*Tsk* Look at me, Emilia! I am the Sin Archbishop of Pride, a villain who cannot be tolerated—"
"..................." When Subaru claimed he was the Sin Archbishop of Pride once again, Emilia still just sat there silently, but her body was shaking uncontrollably.
"So detest me, fear me! Take my image and remember it! And then.....Huh!?"
To Subaru's shock, Emilia hugged him tightly and cried, his head now pressed against her chest. Subaru could feel her heart racing and her tears streaming down his cheeks
"Subaru.....I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! *Hik* I betrayed you, I abandoned you, I thought you were the Sin Archbishop of Pride when you were forgotten. Then you became crazy and paranoid after going through the torture of THAT DAMN CAT!!!*Hik* Subaru.....I promise you, I promise you I will never let you go go through such suffering again!”
Subaru could only now be confused by the words that Emilia had said
['forgotten' 'torture' where the hell did Satella send me???]
While Subaru was confused, not understanding what was going on, Emilia held his right hand, her expression showing pain, sadness, and torment.
"I-It must've hurt so much....." The voice sounded like the sound of a silver bell, the voice contained pity, sadness, and suffering
When Emilia held his hand, Subaru had a strange feeling in his right hand, as if something had disappeared—
[Wha-What?! Fingers...My fingers!!?] Subaru was stunned when his knuckles disappeared, as if someone had cut them off
Subaru tried moving his left fingers and realized they were also cut off, even his pinky and index fingers were almost completely severed.
Subaru could only be stunned and confused while Emilia cried bitterly for the pain he had to endure about being forgotten by everyone and suffering the brutal torture of Felix and Julius for being suspected of being Sin Archbishop. of Pride. Something Pridebaru had never experienced
In the middle of a beautiful pale blue sky with fluffy white clouds floating in the air. Under the blue sky is a beautiful, vast, seemingly endless carpet of green grass. Create a peaceful, gentle and quiet space
On that beautiful green lawn, there was a silver-haired half-Elf sitting down, from head to toe she was covered in a layer of darkness, like a dress. On her lap was the head of a young man with almost white hair, that boy has a scary look, his eyes look like murder but right now he is sleeping soundly like a child, he looks like he is now. very cute now
The young man was currently resting his thigh on the half-elf girl. The half-elf girl looked at his face sleeping soundly on her lap while stroking his white hair
The name of that half-elf girl is none other than Satella. Not the second personality named Envy anymore
And the young man lying on Satella's lap is none other than Subaru. The one who had been forgotten by everyone because Sin Archbishop of Gluttony, Lye Batenkaitos had eaten his name. And being denounced by his contracted spirit Beako as Sin Archbishop of Pride caused him to endure extreme torture at the hands of his two close friends Felix and Julius to get information from him, which he did not know .
No matter how many times he committed suicide or was killed by Felix and Julius, Subaru still returned to his Checkpoint in prison, not before Lye stole his name.
In the end, he had to ask Satella to grant him eternal death, to escape the hell he was suffering. Now, Subaru will no longer have to endure any more suffering because he has been stripped of his ability to Return By Dead by Satella.
Right now, Subaru is sleeping soundly on Satella's lap after escaping horrifying torture for more than several months. It can be said that this is the most peaceful moment for Subaru right now
Even though her beloved was lying in her arms, her expression currently showed some sadness and worried
Satella grieved for Subaru's suffering, something she could have ended for him a long time ago but she did not. Thinking about that makes Satella even more immersed in guilt and suffering
But the main problem that Satella is currently worried about is Subaru in the real world or rather the person controlling his body
While stroking Subaru's hair, Satella muttered
"Please continue your journey well, My Another Beloved"
