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The first time the phone rings, Buck ignores it in favor of the fingers working his zipper down & the hand desperately trying to push past his jeans. The second time it goes off he tries to smack it off the nightstand & onto the floor with his foot, because it was really killing the mood. The third time? Well, Buck can't take it anymore. He slides himself off from on top of Eddie with what can only be described as a whine, & fumbles for the stupid thing so he can mute it.
He pauses when he sees that it's his sister who's called three times. His sister who knows that he & Eddie are off & are in a Christopher free house for the night. His sister who knows that he's been struggling the last few weeks & he needs a child free home to just do anything & everything that he wants. His sister, who better be having a literal emergency to call him at 11pm when she knows what he's supposed to be doing right this second & it's definitely not talking to her. He almost laughs out loud as he thinks, hysterically, that she should just call 911 if there's a real issue. Because this is not the way Buck wanted to spend his evening.
He answers the phone with the snarkiest attitude he can muster as a younger brother when he picks up on her fourth try. “Mads, somebody better by dying or I swear to Go–”
“Mom & Dad are coming to visit!”
Buck darts to sit up & nearly knocks over poor Eddie who's attempting to lean up against the headboard. “They–what?”
“I'm so sorry. Mom just called me & said they'd be here on Friday & I just– Evan…”
Buck clings to the phone with one hand & reaches out to grab Eddie with the other as he listens to Maddie ramble on about their parents inviting themselves to her house & somehow planning to be in LA in 2 days. Eddie's arm snakes around his shoulders & the phone is lightly slid out of his hand as Eddie takes over the conversation.
It embarrasses Buck the way that just the mere mention of his parents is enough to render him incapable of regular human abilities. The fact that Eddie has to take over a phone call with his sister because he's on the verge of a panic attack at the thought of his parents coming into town; it literally makes him want to vomit.
“They'll be here on Friday afternoon,” Eddie says as he pushes the phone back onto the nightstand & then wraps his arms around Buck again. “They want to have dinner with everyone.” Eddie coughs a bit & tries to readjust himself & Buck knows there must be something else.
“Eddie?”
Eddie sighs. “Maddie apparently told them you were seeing someone. They uh–they to meet her?”
Buck eyes him curiously because absolutely none of this is making any sense. He's too wound up & too emotional right now to make sense of what his partner is trying to explain.
“I mean I guess they want to meet me technically, but like, they think I'm a girl.” he chuckles a bit at himself. “Maddie was just really excited for us & wanted your parents to know you were being taken care of so she just– she said you were seeing someone. I guess she didn't want to out you so she didn't use any pronouns & your parents obviously just assumed…”
“And, they want to meet you,” Buck whispers as Eddie trails off.
“Oh shit.”
“It's going to be fine, Buck.”
“See you say that, but this is my parents. I don't think you remember how bad they were the last two times they were here!”
Eddie's eyes go all soft & gooey as he adjusts Buck's tie for him since his shaking fingers can't figure out how to get the knot just right. His parents had insisted on a fancy restaurant this time around. “We don't want you cooking, Evan,” his mom had said. “We want to actually get to talk to you & the new girlfriend,” & he could hear the smile in her voice at the words. He knows they've been waiting for him to settle down, to find a serious partner. Maddie must have been talking Eddie up to them because they're excited to meet ‘the woman who tamed Evan.’
Everytime he had tried to mention that ‘she’ was actually Eddie , well, he found himself unable to get the words out. So, here they were the night of this fancy dinner with Buck trying not to think about what kind of nightmare he was about to walk into.
“You're sure you don't want Chris to go with us?” Eddie smoothes down the tie & smiles. “He'd love to spend time with Jee & he's not a little kid anymore, he knows what's going on.”
Buck shakes his head. “No,” he was adamant about that one detail. He loved Christopher far too much to let his parents poison into his life, especially at this age. “If in the future they need to meet him, then we'll talk about it. But, not now, not tonight.”
“Okay, whatever you want,” Eddie smiles warmly & lays a comforting hand on Buck’s shoulder. “I love you & I want to be there for you in whatever way you need.”
“You– Eddie.” They hadn't said that before. They were still new at this. Yes, they may have been Buck&Eddie for a lot longer than they've actually been together. But, this actual relationship with romance & sex & unfiltered honesty is still new enough that Buck wasn't sure what level they were at. Because his whole being belonged to Eddie & if he's honest with himself it had been like that for years. It was something else, though, to hear it from Eddie directed at him.
Eddie just nods & smiles that soft, warm smile that turns Buck's insides to jelly. “I figured you probably needed to hear that right now & i–i've wanted to say it so…I figured this was the right time to & I do–” Bucks cuts him off with a kiss.
“I love you too.”
“Alright,” Eddie squeezes his shoulder. “Let's get this over with.”
The restaurant is nice. Actually overly nice, boarding on almost too fancy for a family dinner. But, that's the Buckley parents for you. Always keeping up appearances & trying to show off their wealth. It's one of the reasons Buck doesn't talk about the trust fund or even use it very much. He used it to rent out the loft & then to pay his bills when he was out of work due to his various injuries. He used some of it to also set up a trust for Chris. He'd do it for Jee too, but his parents have already set something up for her. The golden child's first baby, the first grandchild…she'll always be taken care of, Buck's sure of it. He wanted to make sure that Chris was taken care of too. Even if Eddie one day stopped wanting him, he'd know that Christopher would always have what he needed & that money was never an obstacle.
He hadn't ever really told Eddie about the trust or how much was in it. They never talked about the kind of money either of their families had. But, Buck knows that his partner didn't grow up with a lot. His dad worked in oil so they were comfortable, but with a larger family, the money wasn't as free flowing as it was for the Buckley's who lived firmly upper middle class for all of Buck's childhood. He also knew that Eddie had struggled for money when Chris was born. After Shannon left it was really just up to Eddie to pay bills on the meger salary his retirement from the Army provided him while he trudged through the fire academy.
It's embarrassing to Buck the way that they both look around & feel absolutely swallowed whole by the opulence of it all.
“This is…” Eddie trails off.
“Ridiculous?”
“I was going to say nice? A little much, I guess, but it's a nice place.”
Buck rolls his eyes. “It's not nice, it's way too much for a family dinner. Maddie & Chim have to bring Jee here! It's too much!”
Eddie just laughs as he waves at something in the distance & guides Buck over to where Maddie & Chim are already sitting with his parents. His coworker & sister are overjoyed to see them. Chim shoots Buck a pained smile & he can hear his parents, whose backs are still turned, refer to him as ‘Howard.’ Buck just rolls his eyes as Eddie stifles another laugh.
“Buck! Eddie!” Chim jumps up & embraces both men. “I’ve never been so happy to see you,” he whispers just to them as he's backing up. Buck can't help but smile at that as he slips his hand out of Eddie's grip in favor of stepping towards his father who's also risen from the table.
“Evan,” he shakes his dad's hand & it feels cold. Philip had never been a warm or easy to approach father. In many ways, Buck realized he never actually had a father until he met Bobby. The difference between the two men is stark, & Buck takes his hand back as quickly as he offered it.
“Hey dad,” he smiles & nods toward his mother, “mom.”
They both look between him & Eddie for a moment & then at Buck expectantly. He suddenly feels like he's under a microscope. He'd spent so many years vying for their attention, trying to be noticed. Now that he has it? He's terrified. Terrified of what they'll think of him now, of what they'll say to Eddie.
There's a reason he hadn't told them about…everything. They're not going to understand bisexuality or his love for Eddie, or the fact that maybe it's not all men, but they know it's each other & that's what matters. Eddie doesn't have a label for himself yet & Buck has taken to ‘bisexual’ with fervor, tied himself to a community to feel the acceptance & love he's always wanted. So, no, he hadn't had this conversation with his parents yet & if he had the choice he would never have to.
“Maddie told us you'd be bringing your girlfriend,” Margaret says with a tight smile as she turns toward her only daughter.
Maddie sighs as she adjusts the tulle cupcake dress that Jee is absolutely drowning in. “I told you he was bringing his partner.” She looks at Buck with an apology in her eyes & he nods at her. They're good at that, communicating without ever saying a word.
“I'm Eddie,” he realizes in the moment that Eddie is choosing this moment to step inside of the mess with him & deal with this together, instead of letting him figure it out on his own. Eddie could do that easily, he could let Buck take the control since it's his parents. He could sit quietly in the corner, but instead he reaches out without prompting, helping Buck when he knows the other man is out of control.
Buck loves this man with his whole heart. Buck loves this man with every fiber of his being, a man who's willing to throw himself to the wolves in favor of making sure Buck doesn't have to. He extends his hand towards Philip who just stares at it for a moment. Eddie looks at him expectantly, but drops his hand after a few tense seconds & chooses to discreetly loop his fingers with Buck's instead.
Actions speak louder than words apparently because the minute Buck & Eddie sit, their linked hands visible on the table, Margaret's eyes go wide & she seems to connect the dots before Philip is even able to return to his seat.
“Evan!” She shakes her head before turning toward her other child. “Maddie! You knew about this?”
“Yes,” Maddie says simply as she motions for a waiter to ask for a cocktail. She orders a round for the rest of the family as well before turning back to her mother. “I told you, Buck would be bringing his partner.” She enunciates the syllables of his nickname, the only real way she can fight against their mother in a crowded restaurant.
“Since when did Evan ever…?” his mother trails off & glances in Buck's direction again. “When did you?” She motions between the two men.
Buck just sighs. “A couple of months ago,” he starts. “We've been dancing around it for a long time.”
His father gives a scoff & Chim jumps in. “It's true! You should have seen them on their first shift together!”
“Dios, it's been a bit of a telenovela, you can be honest.” Eddie states as he rolls his eyes at Chim. Buck can't help but smile at that. He can see his mom & dad are both wearing tight, forced smiles as Eddie talks to them. He knows that they're uncomfortable with the “man” of it all, but Eddie is really laying it on thick, making sure they know exactly who he is. If Buck wasn't already head over heels, he'd be falling in love all over again at this moment.
“How is Christopher?” Maddie jumps in before her parents can attempt to get another word in. She sounds stressed & Buck notices that she looks it too. She's handed Jee off the Chim & has been sipping at her drink for the last several moments, her eyes ping ponging between Buck & their parents.
Margaret's eyes narrow a bit before asking, “who's Christopher?” Buck has to fight to not roll his eyes. He knows he's talked about Chris to both of them, that they crossed paths back during the time he was in a coma after the lightning. Of course they don't remember that, though.
Eddie sets down his beer & takes over, whipping out his phone as he speaks & passing over a photo from last week's zoo trip. It's a great photo of the three of them, & Buck loves it. They're squished together with big smiles in front of the lion exhibit. They take a photo in the same place every year to commemorate surviving the tsunami. There's 4 more just like it tacked up on Eddie's fridge back at home.
“My son,” Eddie nods at the photo as Margaret gently takes his phone. “Buck’s really great with him. Honestly I think he was Chris’s before he was mine.” He gives Buck's hand a light squeeze under the table.
“You have a son.” It's not a question & Buck watches as Eddie just nods & slips his phone back across the table. “But ho–”
“Do not ask what I think you're about to,” Chim says as he feeds Jee a strawberry from the appetizers that have been delivered to the table. Buck jumps a bit at the tone. He's not used to Chim fighting back against his parents, he usually lets Maddie do that. It's apparent that he's unhappy about the conversation & Buck can't help but feel warmed by the fact that he's being supported like this, that the people he loves will go to war for him.
“I was just wondering,” Margaret says as she holds a hand up in defense. “You just don't usually see that.”
Eddie smiles, but it's not the one that Buck knows is genuine joy. It's the one he saves for those he doesn't really like. He's never been on the receiving end of it & he hopes to God he never is. Even during the toughest parts of their relationship, Eddie's never looked at Buck with anything but some type of love. Even if neither of them knew that's what it was at the time.
“Christopher's mom & I met in highschool & she left once I was discharged from the army.” His eyes slide from Margaret to Philip as he speaks. “She died after we moved here while she & I were trying to figure out the divorce. She hasn't been involved since Chris was little. It wouldn't have ever worked out anyway since ya know,” he shrugs & lets his gaze shift over to Buck.
A tense silence filters over the table as the waiter approaches for orders. Buck's barely looked at the menu in front of him. It's too pricey, too intricate. He loves food & to cook, but not like this & Eddie knows that as he orders for himself & hands back both menus while he orders for Buck too. His cheeks heat when his dad levels him with a look across the table at the same time his sister coos at how cute they are from two seats down.
The rest of the evening goes in a similar fashion. His parents dote in Jee, Eddie talks to Chim, the parents level Buck with all sorts of confused & questioning gazes while saying nothing. The food comes & it's actually good. It's halfway through dessert when Buck can't take it anymore & he slips away to the bathroom so he doesn't have to meet his fathers harsh eyes over his merengue again.
He's been in there for a few minutes, splashing cold water on his face when the door opens quietly & Buck hears the click of the lock. He knows who it is before he even turns around.
“I'm sorry I made you do this.”
Strong arms wrap around him & Eddie's chin comes to rest on his shoulder, tucking against his neck. “I came because I wanted to & you needed me to. You okay?”
“Yea, I think I am actually. I'm just– I'm so sorry about how they are. They're so…” he trials off & lets his fist drop to the marble sink with a thud. It echoes through the empty bathroom as Eddie tilts his head to kiss him soundly.
“I don't care. I don't care what they think or what they say. I love you & Chris loves you & that's all that matters.”
They stand there for another couple of moments, trading soft kisses. Buck loses track of time & also his brain when Eddie presses him against the sink, the corner of it digging into his hip. He thinks this night is about to get really interesting as hands trail down, grip at his ribs with a squeeze before teasing at the waistband of his dress pants and– there's a knock on the door. They spring apart & Bucks doesn't have to turn towards the mirror to know he looks guilty.
Eddie pushes back from him before smoothing down his hair & unlocking the door.
“We weren't fucking in here!” Buck exclaims as he sees Chim’s head peak around the corner. His brother in law just rolls his eyes.
“Really, Buck?”
“Yea, no, sorry I just–” he sighs & runs a hand down his face. “I'm stressed out okay?”
Chim just laughs. “Your parents are getting ready to head out, figured you'd want to say goodbye.” Eddie snorts at that. “Okay maybe not want but you probably should.
They're home before 11 & Buck sighs in relief as he pulls the jeep into his assigned parking spot. “Thank you for coming with me,” he whispers as he turns toward Eddie. “I don't know what I'd do without you.
Eddie just hums, his hand finding Buck's in the dark & linking their fingers. He knows there's something on the tip of the other man's tongue. He's spent so long studying Eddie that he's become an expert in all those little silent things that others wouldn't notice. “What's up?”
“I think,” Eddie pauses & looks up at Buck, holding eye contact in a way that takes his breath away every time. “I don't–”
Buck panics, he spirals, his mind runs away with all the terrible awful things that Eddie could mean. He showed his partner the side of his life he hates to share & now he's realized that Buck is too much to handle & they're going to bre–
“Stop panicking,” Eddie gives his hand a squeeze. “I was just thinking that I don't know if you're ready for uh– for what I'm trying to say.”
Buck eyes him curiously. If there's one thing about them it's that they've always communicated well. After the lawsuit they decided even just as friends that they'd talk more, they'd be honest with each other. That's translated to their romantic relationship too. So, it's odd to him that Eddie seems so nervous to speak, to say what's on his mind.
“The conversation about Shannon… it kind of…it opened my eyes a little bit. I think uh– I think I'd like that again. Do you know what I'm saying?”
“Eddie I–what?” he swallows hard. “You want…Shannon again?” None of this is making any sense to Buck who simply can't connect the dots. His brain’s too tired, his body too exhausted to try & put together the vague pieces that Eddie is giving him.
“No, Buck I– I want…” he sighs deeply like the words are physically painful to force out. “I want to try that again, like. I want–” he sighs & takes his hand from Buck's to rub at his eyes. “Dios, why is this so hard? Buck, I want– I want to get married again.”
Buck opens his mouth but no words come out. He doesn't think he could form them even if he wanted to. Eddie is sitting there, big brown eyes all vulnerable & concerned & Buck simply can't get anything to come out. He closes his mouth with a click & clenches his jaw.
Eddie wants to be married again, Eddie wants a family again, Eddie wants– Eddie wants to marry him. Eddie wants him to be another parent for Chris. Eddie wants to share life with him in all the ways that matter. All the puzzle pieces click into place & he can feel the moisture threatening to spill over his eyes. He blinks, & chances another glance up to Eddie's eyes that look a little misty. He assumes whatever is going through his mind, Eddie is having equally as many thoughts running through his.
Buck coughs & smiles. “Eddie,” he tries but this isn't the time for full thought through sentences, he isn't sure his brain could make it all the way through. “Yea?” He finally settles on.
“Yea…” Eddie breathes with wide eyes.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Buck's laughs. “Yea Eddie, okay. Let's get married.”
“We're so stupid,” Eddie says as he leans over the center console.
Buck can only laugh again as he pulls Eddie as close as possible using the stupid tie he was forced to wear to the stupid fancy restaurant. “Yea, well, I'm not gonna stop being stupid anytime soon so you better get used to it.”
“I think I can handle it,” Eddie says before closing the last of the gap between them & Bucks sighs into the kiss. When they break apart after a few moments & his eyes flutter back open, Eddie is back in his seat, just staring at him. The gaze is too sweet, so soft that it causes Buck to blush.
“I know we said we were gonna stay at the loft tonight,” Buck states gesturing toward his apartment building towering over them. “But, what if we went home? I'd really love to see Chris right now.”
That must be the correct question because Eddie is nodding & then across his seat & kissing Buck again.
“Maybe we could use your place for an hour or two first?”
Buck can only laugh & let himself be pulled out of the Jeep & up the steps to the loft, not letting his hand fall from Eddie's the entire time.