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Sex is a foreign concept to Dabi. He's never had sex, because sex implies he enjoyed it. He's never had sex, he's been raped. There's a difference that he makes sure to have in his mind. Sex is fine, rape is not.
Sex, he knows, is associated with intimacy and trust. He didn't ever think he would want sex. He didn't think he'd ever trust anyone enough to desire it. He also knows that sex can be a physical act, a way to release energy and find pleasure doing it. Dabi's never been able to do that by himself. Masterbation was something he could do, but he couldn't ever finish. He couldn't push himself over the edge, and eventually it became too much work. That and there are plenty of times when that part of his body feels foreign to him, like it's wrong, because it is.
So sex isn't something Dabi's familiar with. It's not something he really wants to try, and he's never gotten off alone. He wasn't close enough to anyone he could trust to even try. So he didn't bother.
But then there was Hawks.
Hawks, who was a spy, but still cared for Dabi. He still held him, and kissed him, and backed away when Dabi told him to. There was Hawks, with his soft smiles, reserved only for Dabi's eyes because he cared. And Dabi doesn't know why he treats him gently.
He has conflicting feelings about Hawks. Dabi trusts him not to hurt him, he trusts him enough to have given his children — the most precious things in his life — the instructions to find Hawks if they were in danger or their current home got raided. He trusted Hawks to care for them and not throw them to the wolves like anyone else would.
He trusts Hawks.
Hawks, who is currently controlling a kiss gently. His lips soft against Dabi's. And Hawks wants more, because his tongue swipes at the seam between Dabi's. He lets him in with a low sound. This isn't the first time Hawks has explored his mouth, and it won't be the last. Nothing usually escalates past this point, Dabi doesn't let it. He usually pulls away too soon, not letting Hawks know exactly why. Hawks doesn't ask.
But tonight, Dabi wants.
He wraps his arms around Hawks' waist, tugging him closer. Hawks isn't quite hard, but there's a small tent in his pants that Dabi can feel. Dabi feels warmth in his stomach that doesn't have anything to do with his Quirk. He can identify it as arousal.
Except Hawks pulls away, concern glittering in his eyes. “Dabi?”
“Hmmm?”
“Am I doing something wrong?” And Dabi wonders why he sounds so sad, so broken up. Because he doesn't know why Hawks would ask a question like that. “If you don't want to you can say something,”
Oh. He takes a step back, looking away. He had kind of forgotten an important part of this. He doesn't think it should matter that he's not cis, but he's never just, come out to people before. He doesn't exactly try to hide it either. It's never come up in conversation before. He doesn't really think it's important. He passes and that's what matters to him.
“I do want it,” he says, swallowing heavily. “I just…don't have the same parts as you,” and to prove his point he takes his shirt off.
His breasts aren't large enough to look unusual on his body. They look enough like pecs at a glance for him to pass. But under examination…
“You're trans,” Hawks says, sounding relieved.
“Yeah,” he mumbles. “It never exactly came up before,”
“I don't care,” Hawks says, pressing back into his space, their breaths mingling. “You're still Dabi, and that's who I want to fuck. If you're up for it?”
Dabi nods. “Yeah,” because he wants to try. He wants his experience with sex to be good, rather than him constantly reminded of…everything else.
And Hawks smiles, letting his hands fall to Dabi's hips, squeezing lightly, pulling him flush to him and invading his mouth again. He pulls him towards the bedroom, leading him through the apartment like Dabi hasn't been there enough times to know the way.
When Dabi's legs hit the bed, he lets himself fall backwards onto it, pulling Hawks down with him. On top of him. He doesn't see it coming. He lets out a low groan as Hawks presses against him to kiss him, licking behind his teeth again.
And he pulls away too soon, reaching for Dabi's belt. There's nothing wrong, nothing threatning about the action.
But Dabi flinches. Hard. He doesn't even know why.
There's no fire as he feels phantom hands close around his throat. He's partially aware of Hawks pulling away, his lips moving, but Dabi can't hear him over the heartbeat in his ears. He can't breathe. He knows he's not there. He's in Hawks' apartment, not the dingy alley where Satoshi’s doner had pinned him to the ground and torn him open until he was satisfied. He can't breathe, and he sees Hawks moving, vermillion plumes filling his vision.
It's the gentle strokes of feathers over his cheeks that bring him back to the present. Softness rather than gravel digging into his flesh. He gulps air, choking down a sob, because he feels like he's going to cry.
“Dabi,” Hawks sounds frantic, wings still wrapped gently around his trembling body. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“I–I’ve never–” he swallows, turning his face away. He's not going to cry damnit.
This wasn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to be good. He was supposed to be happy. To enjoy an experience he'd never had before. He wasn't supposed to panic. He doesn't even know what caused it.
“Dabi,” Hawks' voice is so gentle, soft, concerned. “You said you've had sex before,”
That's not entirely true, he'd said he wasn't a virgin. That was taken from him forcefully, when he wasn't even aware of it. When he didn't even know what it was.
“I've never wanted it before,” he whispers. “They just– took it,” he feels a tear escape his eye as he squeezes them shut. He doesn't want to see the rejection, the disgust that everyone else looks at him with.
Strong arms wrap around him softly, like he's worthy of gentleness. “I'm sorry,” he says. “I'm sorry you were taken advantage of like that. You– you didn't deserve that,”
The tears overflow and Dabi clings to Hawks as he sobs. As emotions he'd pent up for his safety come out. The pain and sadness that he'd locked away because thinking about it would've hurt too much to process when it happened.
But he's safe now.
Hawks holds him until the tears and shaking stop. Until he raises his head from Hawks' shoulder and looks at him.
“I wanna try,” he says softly. “please,”
And Hawks, sweet, caring, gentle, Hawks smiles. “We can try firefly, okay? But I don't want to hurt you,”
Dabi lets out a small sound that could be a whine if he were to name it. Because he was wet. The only times that's happened before was when he'd tried masturbation. And even then it didn't last.
“What can I do to avoid triggers,” Hawks asks, pulling away, but still touching him, a wing wrapped around his back, feathers brushing against his spine.
And that's more considerate than anyone Dabi's ever been around. It almost brings him to tears again. He hates his stupid emotional body.
“I, uhh,” he's not sure what to say. What was the thing that triggered him?
Hawks presses a kiss to his temple. “Okay love, how about this. I'll say something, and you tell me how you feel about it. Mkay?”
“Yeah, that's– yeah,” easier than him spilling out everything.
Hawks hums, the vibrations making Dabi shiver. “How about position? Is there any way you'd be uncomfortable lying?”
“I gotta see you,” he says softly, shakily. “if I wanna stay here,” he's glad he doesn't need to explain what that means.
Hawks nods. “Okay, that's fine, do you want to top? I was on top of you…”
Dabi frowns, even though it feels strained. “How would that even work?”
Another kiss is pressed to his hair. “You'd be on top of me. You know what riding is right” Dabi's face is red as he nods. “You can ride me if you wanna,”
“Doesn't that involve umm…” his face is warm, and he's pretty sure he's raised the temperature with how embarrassed he is. “penetration?”
“Not always,” Hawks says. “you could ride my leg, or I can jack you off if you wanted. Do you want to try penetration?”
“I dunno,” he whispers, small, and shaky, and vulnerable in a way he hasn't ever been before. “I don't know,”
Hawks shushes him gently. “That's alright love, you don't have to know right now. We can come back to that later. How about eating out?”
And Dabi's embarrassed to say that he doesn't know what that is. Hawks holds him and explains it to him gently, running his fingers through his hair. It's soothing, and the conversation and gestures calm Dabi's racing heart. He's introduced to a few new concepts, and he is thoroughly briefed on the stoplight system.
“I could just burn you if I panic,” he jokes weakly.
Hawks eyes are sharp, but he responds gently. “You didn't before,”
And Dabi just shuts his mouth and agrees that it might be for the best right now. There's a large group of things Dabi knows are going to set him off. Choking, rough treatment, probably hair pulling, certain pet names, to name a few.
He presses his face into the crook of Hawks' neck. “M sorry I ruined it,”
Hawks tilts his head up with a finger, guiding him to meet his eyes. “You didn't ruin anything okay? You don't always control your reactions to these kinds of things,”
And Dabi's unconvinced, but he gives a small nod.
“Are you ready to try again?” Hawks asks.
“Yeah,” he feels calm, grounded in the moment.
Hawks’ body is pressed against him, just slightly warmer than Dabi's. But he moves away, crawling over to the frankly enormous pile of pillows at the head of the bed. Dabi makes himself comfortable, watching Hawks. He gets on his knees, slotting himself between Dabi's spread legs, using an arm to hold himself up as he leans forward to capture Dabi's lips in a tender kiss.
It's not hurried or rough. It's sweet, and Dabi, once again opens when Hawks prods, letting their tongues slide together. He sighs into it, and Hawks brings his other hand up to cup his face and deepen the kiss. Dabi makes a sound in the back of his throat when they have to disconnect for air. Saliva stringing between them. He leans back in for more, letting his hand rest on Hawks' shoulder to pull him closer.
They stay like that for a while, kisses and a few wandering touches that help Dabi relax further. He gasps for air when Hawks kisses over his jaw, nipping lightly at the skin. He meets the questioning golden gaze and gives a nod.
“Green,” permission to continue.
So Hawks presses a light kiss to Dabi's forehead, hands stroking gently down his body, lingering on his breasts. They're small enough to not set off Dabi's dysphoria, but large enough for Hawks to play with. Maybe a little more than a handful. One of Hawks' hands moves down to press just above his naval, while the other kneads at Dabi's tit gently. It's not awful, but Dabi's not entirely sure he enjoys it yet. It's different, but not bad. He decides to wait for longer.
Golden eyes are much too soft, so Dabi closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the pillows. He lets out a small whine as Hawks traces over his nipple, circling it gently. It's not a feeling that he expected, but it does feel good. He's never had his tits played with like this, and he's finding — as Hawks brings his lips down to mouth at his skin — that he likes it.
It's a different touch from anything he's felt before, and with the way Hawks is sitting — up on his knees between Dabi's legs — he's not looming over Dabi. His wings cast a shadow, but it's not firm. With the way feathers shift and rustle, the shadow keeps moving. It's a new sound too, the vanes pressing against each other as Hawks moves. And even if he doesn't, because individual feathers twitch forwards and back, keeping track of Dabi.
He lets out a soft sigh, pressing his chest further into Hawks' touch. He's rewarded with a nip to the skin just below his tit. He gasps, barely audible to his own ears, but he sees red feathers twitch when looks at Hawks. He's smirking at Dabi, hovering over him where he kneels. The light, dimmed to set the mood, makes it look almost like Hawks is glowing. Even as he's still clothed while Dabi is half naked under him, he shines. The glow makes the vermillion of his wings stand out more as they preen and fluff as he notices Dabi's inspection. He leans in for a kiss and Hawks gives it to him.
He makes a small sound in the back of his throat as Hawks lightly pinches his nipple, pulling his face away to examine Dabi.
“Good?” He asks lightly, teasingly, as he pinches it again.
He gasps this time, legs tightening around Hawks’ hips as he tenses. “It's fine,” he says, slightly strangled.
Those fingers return to the meat of his tit, avoiding the rosy bud. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm,” Dabi hums halfheartedly, tilting his head back as Hawks attacks his neck, biting into it lightly.
He nips at Dabi's collarbone, tonguing lightly over the seam until Dabi lets out a small moan. Only then does he move further down, licking and nipping at his breast, occasionally thumbing over his nipple. Dabi's still doubting, but it does feel nice, and he is getting wet the longer Hawks fondles his breasts, so he's not going to complain about the treatment.
It's when Hawks' tongue presses against his nipple, does he jolt. Okay, yeah, it's warm as he latches on, laving his tongue over the perky bud. Dabi grabs blond hair with a gasp, thighs once again tightening around Hawks. Honey gold eyes flick up to check, before he smirks against Dabi's tit and sucks. Yeah, Dabi can get behind this. His grip tightens in Hawks' hair as he feels himself get wetter from the stimulation. Apparently his chest is sensitive and Hawks' cool mouth on the bud feels like it could choke him.
Dabi doesn't think he's ever been this wet before, and he really wants more. He needs more. One of Hawks' hands dances lower, nails scraping lightly over his skin, leaving pink marks on Dabi's skin. He shivers, chest heaving as Hawks pulls away to lap at Dabi's nipple more. Dabi thinks it should be gross, but he's only getting steadily more aroused by it. His underwear is probably soaked through by now, even though it's not sticking to him, he can feel the wetness pooling there.
Hawks switches to his other breast, toying with that nipple too. Dabi lets his hand fall to his shoulder, tightening in the fabric just to hold something. His hips rock slightly, attempting to get friction on his aching cunt. He feels Hawks smirk, feeling the movement as he sucks. Dabi groans. He can't get the angle right to rub against Hawks' body. Hawks traces a hand down his stomach, tracing over scars and faded stretch marks. His talons clink gently over the staples holding Dabi together. He lets them scratch lightly over Dabi's skin, making him shudder.
When Hawks' hand slides lower, over Dabi's hip, he freezes, breath hitching. Hawks shifts away, thumb rubbing over the skin gently. His rich, honey colored eyes examine Dabi before he presses a fluttery kiss to his cheek.
“You good love?” He asks softly.
Dabi swallows, nodding shakily. He can see Hawks, feel his cool hands against his skin, feel the gentleness of the touches. “More?”
Hawks' eyes go soft on him as he thumbs over Dabi's waistband, pants settled low on his hips. He lets out a small sigh as Hawks keeps rubbing small circles into his skin. He presses against Dabi, leaving small bruises on his neck as he kisses his way down. The marks won't be visible over his scars, but Dabi will feel them for a while. He tilts his head back to give him more access to his throat. Hawks presses his chest against him, and Dabi hisses through his teeth as the fabric rubs against his bruised skin. It doesn't hurt but it leaves behind a small sting. He doesn't hate it.
Dabi has lived with pain for practically his whole life at this point. But this pain, it sends a zing of pleasure straight to his pussy. He can feel as slick oozes out of him. He lets out a sound that he doesn't want to ever admit he made as Hawks trails the sharp points of his talons around his areola, gently flicking the bud. Dabi's breath hitches as he repeats the process with his other pec. Hawks pulls away from his neck.
“Can I sit behind you baby?” He asks, kissing Dabi's cheek tenderly.
Dabi lets out a breath, takes stock of himself, and nods. “Yeah, okay,”
He scoots forward so Hawks can slide behind him, wrapping his soft wings around them. Dabi can see them from his peripheral and relaxes against Hawks' muscular chest. His legs extend around Dabi's hips, and if he presses back he can feel his erection press against his ass. He's not uncomfortable, and despite the position, Dabi doesn't find the panic well up inside him. The vermilion in his peripheral helps keep him present as Hawks traces talons up and down his sides.
It should probably be ticklish, but it isn't. Hawks leaves kisses on the back of his neck as he presses his palms just below Dabi's breasts, cupping them. It's cool, and Dabi realizes that his temperature has been creeping upwards. Hawks' hands feel cool against his overheated skin, and he feels another shiver run through him.
Hawks nips at his ear, teeth scraping over the piercings. “Wanna take the rest off?” His voice is husky in Dabi's ear and he lets out a small whine, hips humping upwards. He's not going to get anything from it.
“Can try,” he pants. He probably shouldn't be this worked up from so little, after all, his cunt hasn't been touched at all.
And maybe it's because of Hawks. Maybe it's because he's trying to make it good for Dabi because he thinks for some reason that Dabi deserves it. He moans as Hawks trails his fingers over his naval, tracing over where he would have a happy trail, had he been able to grow body hair. He still touches Dabi like he does though, and it makes him feel a little more normal.
“C'mon then baby,” Hawks whispers into his ear. “You've got this,” his voice is soft, nonjudgmental. He doesn't really care if Dabi can do it himself. It's sweet.
He shouldn't think that.
Dabi's hands tremble as he undoes his belt. His hands stop just above his waistband, hesitating.
Hawks presses a kiss to his cheek. “Do you need help?” He asks, still gentle and soft.
Dabi doesn't have the words to answer, so he nods, planting his hands face down on the bed. Hawks' hands come around him, trailing over his stomach. His nails scratch just above his waistband and Dabi shudders. He's wet, he can feel how his boxers stick to him and it's just bordering on uncomfortable. He swallows back the spit pooling in his mouth. His hips jump up at the next barely there scrape of nails.
“Hawks,” he says, biting back a pitiful sound. “please,”
Hawks coos, fingers finally sliding under the fabric of his pants to pull them over his hips. “Asking so sweetly baby,”
Dabi lifts his hips as his pants are eased down to his knees. He kicks them off and onto the floor as Hawks' hand returns to above his waist, tracing lightly over his seam, talons clinking over staples. Dabi lets out a shaky breath, leaning back against Hawks' chest, pressing fully against his erection too. He can feel it twitch under him.
The hands against his skin feel cold, cooler than any hands that touched him before. It's a difference Dabi needs and embraces. He lets out a small sound when Hawks trails his hand down to cup his cunt. It sends a shock of pleasure up his spine and he gasps wetly, pressing into it.
Hawks chuckles, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. “Good?”
“More,” he croaks. “please,”
“Doing so good baby,” he says, pulling his hand back to trace over his waistband. He hooks a finger underneath and lets it gently snap against Dabi's skin.
Dabi can't muffle the groan that escapes his throat and his temperature rises. It didn't hurt, not really, but the different pressure and sound makes Dabi think it does. He tries to push into Hawks' hand more, but it pulls away. Dabi whimpers, leaning his head back against his shoulder.
“Gimme a second love,” he says, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “Can you take your underwear off?”
He's not sure. “I can try,” he says instead of the doubt.
“Okay, you do that baby, I'm gonna move a bit,”
Hawks does move out from behind Dabi. He doesn't bother watching him, just moves his trembling hands to his wet underwear. He doesn't freeze up when he pulls the sticky fabric down his legs. He tosses it to the floor and leans back against the pillows, turning to face Hawks.
Hawks, in all his glorious nakedness.
It's a level playing field. Dabi isn't giving up control and Hawks isn't taking it. He wants Dabi to be his equal, not subservient to him. He wants Dabi to feel good.
That's why when he crawls back onto the bed, Dabi willingly spreads his legs. Those honey colored eyes flick up to him. Dabi nods, answering the unasked question. Hawks crawls between his legs, settling his hands on Dabi's thighs and squeezing the flesh gently.
“You're so pretty,” he says, stroking over Dabi's skin. He's so close to where Dabi wants him. So close to the sloppy wetness of his pussy. Not quite there though, and Dabi knows he's being teased. It doesn't make his need any less though.
He makes a small sound in the back of his throat. Hawks traces the seam that cuts through his thigh, leaning down to press his lips there. It's when his tongue darts out that Dabi's breath hitches.
He wouldn't think Hawks would pay attention to his seams this much. Not when he told him how much feeling he still had there. The edge between broken and healed. Sensitive where his nerves hadn't died yet, still having feeling, but damaged enough to be sensitive like scars. And Hawks treated it gently. Pressing kisses to his scars and gently probing with his tongue. Watching Dabi's face for reactions because he's doing it for him.
He jolts as Hawks strokes lightly over Dabi's clit. He whines, as an electric shock runs up his spine. His hands tighten in the sheets as he pants. He feels Hawks smirk from where he's sucking a mark into Dabi's skin. He does it again, firmer and Dabi throws his head back, pressing his hips into Hawks' hand.
“Hawks,” he chokes out, digging his heels into the mattress. “I need–”
“I know baby,” Hawks says. “You need more huh?”
He feels desperate, because it feels good. He's never felt this way before. He didn't know it would be like this.
“Please,” he pants out. “it's– good– ah more–”
He's cut off by Hawks crawling up to invade his mouth. Dabi lets him, leaning back against the pillows and moaning as deft fingers press against his cunt, dragging through the wetness and smearing it over his clit. It's slick and the rough pads of Hawks' fingers feel amazing. The kiss breaks and Dabi leans back in, craving more. Hawks indulges him, nipping his bottom lip as he pulls away again.
He's flushed a pretty red, lips as kiss bruised as Dabi's are. His hand hasn't stopped moving against Dabi, alternating between stroking over his clit and lips, occasionally straying higher to stroke lightly over his bare mound.
Hawks pulls away slightly. “Dabi,” he says softly. “Do you want to try penetration?”
He does, he's finding out. He wasn't sure at first, but he wants. He wants to know what it feels like to have something inside, stretching him open without the agony he knows. Without tearing, and blood. He feels empty. He groans covering his face with an arm.
“Dabi, I need an answer,”
“Please,” he whines.
Hawks doesn't hesitate, bringing a finger to his hole and pressing in lightly. It's barely the first knuckle, but it already feels like so much. He gapes like a fish as Hawks slowly moves, pushing up to the first knuckle. Dabi makes a strangled noise, because it is good. The stretch isn't painful, not like it had been in the past. It adds to the pleasure bubbling inside him rather than taking away from it.
And when Hawks starts moving, Dabi moans, trying to get more. He's seeing stars rather than other faces. He gasps as Hawks pushes in more, littering bites along his thighs. Marking him with stars and kissing between him like he's connecting a constellation. He's up to the second knuckle now, and it feels like so much already. Like there's not enough room inside of him for Hawks.
The finger pulls out, rubbing over his folds before two return, sliding in with an ache that Dabi wants more of. The stretch hurts in a way Dabi didn't know it could. It's not the agonizing stretch that made him feel like he was going to burst. He feels dizzy when he meets Hawks' eyes again.
“You like that pretty boy?” He croons, pressing a kiss to his thigh. “Want me to fill you up?”
Dabi lurches hard, throwing his head back with a high pitched keen. He's never been a pretty boy before. The words echo in his head and he gasps. He didn't think words would make him feel this hot, this overwhelmed.
“Dabi?” Hawks sounds concerned, and Dabi realizes that he stopped breathing. “Firefly, what's wrong?”
Pretty boy, pretty boy, pretty boy. It echoes in his head. “Say it again,” he chokes out, trembling as he tries to remember how to breathe properly.
There's a moment of silence as Hawks tries to parse out just what he means by it. Well it's not silent, Dabi's panting breaths fill the silence, tinged with smoke.
Hawks moves his fingers, slowly scissoring his cunt open. His eyes are alight with mischief and realization. Dabi clenches down, nearly gushing as Hawks' eyes go so warm on him.
“You like being called a pretty boy huh?” He rubs his thumb over Dabi's clit roughly. “Gonna be my pretty boy?”
“Hawks,” Dabi chokes, hips pushing into his hand, trying to get more friction. “Please,”
“Please what pretty boy?” Hawks hums. Dabi thinks it sounds cruel.
“More,” he gasps, head spinning. “Please, more– green, please,”
Hawks groans, pressing his forehead into Dabi's hip before scraping his teeth over the jut of the bone. “Begging so pretty love,”
Another finger teases Dabi's hole and he whines, trying to make it press in. One hand comes down to grab at Hawks' hair, as his teeth sink into his hip. He feels overwhelmed, like everything is enhanced. He can hear how wet he is, feel slick oozing out as Hawks pushes his third finger inside. He whimpers, hand tightening in Hawks' hair. He doesn't know what to do with all the things he's feeling.
Hawks' fingers feel amazing as they stretch him open, his thumb still playing with his clit. Dabi moans loudly. The sounds are filthy, the squelch of his fluids as Hawks pumps his fingers in and out. Dabi's so wet. He thinks it's the most obscene thing he's ever heard. And he wants more. Dabi always takes things, always wanting more. He's greedy at heart.
So he humps into Hawks' hand, trying to get more. Hawks chuckles, the sound amused and much too hot for the way Dabi's feeling. He whines as Hawks presses deeper inside of him, prodding as his walls and letting his fingers stretch his entrance. He eventually pulls them out, slowly, letting them catch lightly on his labia as he does, making Dabi whine. He thumbs over his clit again, and Dabi gives a halfhearted glare.
“Why'd ya stop?” He hates how his voice sounds pouty rather than upset.
Hawks leans down to press a kiss to the corner of Dabi's lips. “You said you wanted to try eating out,” he says.
Oh.
He shivers as a cool hand presses against his hot pussy, fingers playing in the wetness that Dabi's producing. His fingers drift over Dabi's lips, dancing between his clit and his hole, never quite touching properly. Dabi feels something and he shivers. It's boarding on the edge of painful, like he needs something more for it to finally leave, for something more to happen.
He's not sure what it is, but he clenches, feeling empty without Hawks' fingers pressing against his nerves.
“Hawks,” he says, croaking the word.
“You still up for it?”
And damn him. Why does he have to sound so calm and collected while Dabi's chest is heaving, his seams smoking as he tries to cool his body down. He's sure his face is flushed from how much it's burning when Hawks stares at it. He feels like he's going to lose his mind if he doesn't get more stimulation on his cunt.
“Please,” he whines pitifully.
Hawks presses another kiss to his face before positioning his face between Dabi's legs, propping his hips up with a pillow. His cool breath fans over Dabi and he shivers, letting out another breath of smoke. He feels a rush, looking down to see Hawks between his thighs like that, prepared to do whatever he wants to Dabi so long as Dabi's enjoying it. And Dabi is really enjoying seeing Hawks between his legs, if the glob of slick that he feels slide out of him is anything to go by.
The first press of Hawks' lips doesn't land anywhere close to his pussy. It's right over his hip bone, and his teeth scrape over it gently. It sends shivers down his spine, but it's not what he wants He digs his heel into Hawks' shoulder, trying to move him to where Dabi wants him. Hawks doesn't budge though, and focuses on sucking a mark into Dabi's skin.
“Hawks–” he chokes, trying to hold back the sobs that want to break free. “please,”
Hawks looks up at him, eyes black save for a ring of gold. “Please what Dabi?” He asks against his thigh.
He moans as Hawks strokes over his cunt again, so wet it's absurd. “touch me, please,"
Hawks hums, stroking over his folds, spreading them to watch him clench on nothing. Dabi whines, hips jumping slightly. “I am touching you baby. Do you want me to touch your pretty cock hmm?” He trails his fingers up, brushing ever so slightly against it, like a whisper.
Dabi trembles apart, a broken sob leaving his lips as tears finally break free. “Ha–awks,"
"Gotta use words pretty boy,” he says, pressing a kiss right beside his cunt. “you can do it,” he says, fingers returning to tracing his labia. “Good boys use words. You're my good boy aren't you?”
“Wa–ant your mouth,” he hiccups. “please, Hawks–” his words trail upwards into a wail as Hawks finally moves.
Dabi smells smoke as he cums. Hawks' mouth is wet around his clit, cool and perfect. The pressure and suction around him sending him to the stars. His voice cracks as Hawks licks down to his hole, pressing the tip of his tongue inside. It's a weird feeling, but Dabi doesn't hate it. He moans, blinking through the tears to see Hawks watching him. His eyes are intense, filled with some mixture of lust and awe that Dabi doesn't have the brainpower to think about at the moment. He whines as his pleasure crests upwards into pain, but it's still good. He doesn't want it to stop.
Hawks doesn't stop. His tongue plunges deeper into Dabi, licking and sucking as his fingers stroke up his thigh, lightly skittering over the dark marks he's put on Dabi's skin. Dabi gasps for air, because he can't seem to get enough oxygen into his lungs with the way Hawks is playing with his body. It's like Dabi's his puppet, and he's pulling the strings to make Dabi's pleasure peak higher and higher. Dabi writhes against the sheets, high pitched sounds breaking free from his throat.
Hawks pulls back a bit, face covered in Dabi's slick. He licks his lips. “You good firefly?” He asks, flicking his tongue over Dabi's clit again.
Dabi whimpers, nodding as his body comes down from its high. “Ye–ah,” his hips give an aborted little thrusts towards Hawks, his breath cool against Dabi's heated pussy.
Hawks chuckles, sounding breathless himself as he presses two fingers back inside, stroking his thumb over Dabi's dick. He whines again, only for Hawks to come up and swallow it from his lips, licking behind his teeth like he wants to share Dabi's flavor with him. His fingers move, spreading Dabi open, stretching him more, swallowing down every sound Dabi makes like they're his life force. And Dabi stays there with him. He can see the sheen of sweat that's made itself at home on Hawks' skin, how blown out his pupils are because of Dabi. How he's still treating him gently because he believes Dabi deserves it.
Maybe that's why Dabi thinks he might love him. Because he talks so sweetly to Dabi, like he's worthyof it. Like he actually cares. There's a small part of Dabi that doesn't trust his sincerity. But most of him, the large amount of Touya that survived, needs it to be real. He craves the attention and care. That wants to believe that Hawks cares for him. He wouldn't be this gentle if he didn't after all.
The pessimistic side of him, the side that believes the world is cruel and dark, that there's no hope, the side of him he's embraced to become Dabi, believes that Hawks couldn't care for someone like him. The part that believes he's a filthy whore, used up and broken. That he's a mistake. His own father didn't care for him, so how could someone like Hawks?
Thankfully Touya is louder.
Because if Hawks didn't care, he wouldn't caress his skin so gently. Wouldn't leave fluttery little kisses all over his face. If Hawks just wanted his dick wet, he could take it like so many others before him. But he didn't, because he cares. And maybe Dabi– Touya knew that already, knew that he loved Hawks. But he wasn't ready for it. After all, his perception of love doesn't exist. Not really. His parents didn't love each other, after all.
But Hawks held him close when he cried, told him that it didn't matter if they didn't have sex at all, because he just wanted to be around him. So maybe, even if Hawks doesn't love Touya, he at least cares, and that's enough.
Hawks has stopped moving, and is stroking a hand over Touya's cheek gently. “Love, are you with me?” He asks softly.
Touya lets out a breath, pressing into the touch with a nod. “Yeah,” he breathes, turning his head to press a kiss to Hawks' palm.
And Hawks smiles so sweetly at him as the fingers still seated inside him gently move. “Yeah baby?”
He lets out a shaky breath rocking his hips into Hawks' hand. “Keep going?” He asks, voice small.
A tender kiss is pressed to his forehead. “You sure love?”
Touya is positive he'll die if Hawks doesn't make him cum again, but he still nods. “Green, please?”
The kiss pressed to his lips is heated, but sweet. Hawks' probing tongue is let in once again, to absorb the small sounds Touya's making as Hawks continues his movement. It's slower, less rushed, and pleasure seeps like syrup along Touya's nerves. He lets out a fluttery sigh when Hawks brushes against his clit again.
Hawks nips his bottom lip as he pulls away, moving to press kisses to Touya's jaw. His fingers — the ones not crammed in Touya's pussy — caress up and down his ribs gently, like he's stroking over fragile gossamer. Like if he's not gentle, Touya will unravel into tiny, unseeable threads and float away on the wind, forever lost to time.
And maybe Touya will. Because he feels fragile. Like he might be carried away if he's not careful. But he doesn't really want to be careful. Not with the man he might love, not with the man who has a chance of loving him back. Touya presses into the touches, rocking into Hawks' fingers as they keep moving.
He feels alive and in the moment. Touya's never felt this way before, and he almost doesn't want it to end. He doesn't want whatever this illusion of normalcy is to break. He doesn't want to shatter and be sent back to dirty alleyways, and men reeking of alcohol. He wants to be with Hawks.
He opens his eyes to see Hawks watching him as he kisses back down his body to his cunt. To watch his fingers move out of Touya, only to make their way back inside again, stroking over his walls and bringing that syrupy feeling higher. He moans, just letting his body feel and realizes that his eyes feel full.
He grabs onto blond hair and pulls him back up to kiss him desperately. He lets Hawks control it though, making it sweet and passionate rather than urgent. He drinks in all the noises that leave Touya's swollen lips, letting out a groan of his own. Touya realizes then that Hawks hasn't touched himself at all. His cock is hanging between his legs, swollen and leaking. Untouched.
Touya isn't entirely sure what to do, but he takes it in hand, smirking at how Hawks jolts. He moans when the fingers inside him curl, hand tightening around Hawks. He thumbs over the head, collecting precum to make the downstroke of his hand smooth. He's doing something right because Hawks moans, pressing his face into the crook of Touya's neck as his wings shudder.
“Good?” Touya asks softly.
Hawks groans, kissing his neck. “Do it again,”
He does, and the arm holding Hawks just above Touya gives out. They're pressed chest to chest now, and Touya's pretty sure Hawks can feel his heartbeat. He slowly removes his fingers from Touya's cunt, making him whine at the loss as he clenches on nothing.
“Doing so good, pretty boy,” Hawks gasps, thrusting into Touya's loose fist.
He tightens his grip slightly, and Hawks gasps, biting into Touya's neck. It's harder than the other times, rougher. It's kissed over lightly in apology. Hawks leans back to mash his lips messily into Touya's. It's hot, and messy, filled with the desperation of both of them, but it still remains sweet.
“Do you wanna?” Hawks gasps, breaking away from Touya's lips, pressing his cock up through Touya's hand.
Touya nods, blinking back the urge to cry. He does want this, he doesn't feel like he's seconds away from a breakdown. He wants Hawks inside him.
“Please,” he begs softly. “Please, inside,” he spreads his legs wider.
Hawks groans, pulling out of Touya's hand. “Yeah– yeah, okay love,”
He positions himself between Touya's legs, gripping the base of his cock to steady himself. Touya gasps as the head catches on his hole, letting out a broken moan as Hawks starts pushing in. His back arches as his heels dig into the mattress. Hawks pauses when he's fully seated and Touya feels like he can't breathe. He feels so full and there's no escaping it. Hawks looks strained, like he's trying not to cum immediately.
And he probably is, considering that Touya feels like his blood is boiling in his veins from how worked up he is. His body temperature hasn't gone down much, if anything it's only risen more. Especially considering how cold Hawks' dick feels inside him.
“So hot, baby,” Hawks moans, leaning down to press his forehead against Touya's. “ready for more?”
Touya doesn't think he's ever felt so full. It's like he's been split open from his pussy. And he likes it. He wants more. Touya has always been greedy, and now Hawks' cock, despite how perfectly it stretches him, doesn't feel like enough. He needs more.
Even if it's not more by much.
“Dabi, love? Are you good?” There's that concerned lilt to his voice again.
“Yeah–” he manages. “yeah, you can move,”
He tenses as Hawks starts pulling out gently. He feels empty, like there's something missing. Until Hawks thrusts back in and he throws his head back with a moan. His hands come up, scrabbling for a purchase on Hawks. One ends up in his hair, dragging him down to invade his mouth, while he digs his nails into Hawks' shoulder with the other. Hawks groans into his mouth, fucking deeper, pressing against a space inside Touya that makes stars light up behind his eyelids.
He keens and Hawks tightens his grip on Touya's hip smoothly, adjusting the angle until he's hitting that spot every time he thrusts in. Touya's bleeding smoke from his seams as he sobs, hiccupy little things that only make Hawks' eyes softer on him.
“Good, huh pretty boy?” He pants out against Touya's sternum as he presses his forehead there.
“Hawks,” Touya cries, digging his nails into his back, tugging lightly at vermillion feathers.
Hawks lets out a warble, a sound Touya's never heard him make before. He wants to hear it again, so he twines his hot fingers into the feathers again, groaning as Hawks nearly knocks his head into his chin as he comes up to capture Touya's lips.
Hawks doesn't last much longer, rutting into Touya, a hand coming down to play with his clit, wet and slippery with slick. Touya whimpers as he's filled, Hawks hitting that spot inside him. He cums with another sob nails biting deeper into flesh as he writhes. He's never felt this overwhelmed. It's a good feeling, and Touya wants more of it. He wants to feel good like this all the time. With electricity surging through his veins as he cums. The more he felt good, the less he thought about other hands and faces. His mind only occupied by Hawks.
He comes down slowly, and whimpers as Hawks pulls out, releasing a stream of white onto the bedsheets. He shivers, his legs feeling like jelly as he tries to move away from the mess. He doesn't quite feel gross, not like times before, but the stickiness is bothering him.
“Hawks,” he says softly, voice hoarse.
“Yeah baby?” He replies, sitting up from where he'd collapsed on Touya's stomach.
“Sticky,” he tries to grumble, but it sounds petulant and whiny.
Hawks chuckles against him, but a few feathers detach from his wings, probably grabbing towels or something. “Yeah, okay, well get cleaned up,”
Touya sighs, reclining into the pillows. He's tired. He didn't know normal sex could be tiring. At least he's not so tired that he wants to curl up and die. Just sleep.
Hawks finally moves, and Touya doesn't open his eyes, not until he feels the other's weight vanish from the bed. He cracks open an eye as arms scoop him up. He lets out a small sound of shock, wrapping his arms around Hawks' neck.
“Wha?” he says sleepily.
Hawks kisses the top of his head. “I've got a bath going, pretty boy,”
Oh. He relaxes into Hawks, letting his eyes flutter shut again. He trusts Hawks to get him clean. To keep him safe. To not break this trust.