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Josh slipped and cut his knee on a rock when he was ten years old.
He had been hiking through the dense forest just beyond the chain wire fence of his backyard. His mother had told him not to go too far but he didn’t listen. He never listened to her, because even if she said it, he knew she wouldn’t care.
So he meandered down the worn trails of the old forest, looking up at the trees and admiring the way the wind whistled through leaf-laden branches. He listened to the cicadas screaming into the twilight, the slow descending of the sun helping Josh to realize he had been out there longer than he thought. When he dutifully turned around to begin his way home, however, he yelped as his foot caught on a tree root he had not seen before.
It sent him tumbling down to the floor, hands splayed out to smack hard on the earthy soil as a new, stinging pain blossomed on his right shin.
Sitting up was painful. Josh whimpered as he reached out to touch his trembling leg. The bottom half of it was coated in a sticky, red blood. The gash was a deep one, sticky and wide as the skin around the area purpled and throbbed. The heat on the space was unbearable. Josh could see the small sediment of gravel and dirt clinging to the hair on his legs. They pressed themselves deep into his open flesh, making their home into the soft tissue beneath layers of skin. Red rivulets of bubbly, hot red crawled down his leg like spidery veins, taking the shape of his calf as it slid around the soft flesh. Josh could feel it begin to soak up his sock, and just above it his knee was scraped down to the third layer of skin.
Tears pricked the corner of Josh’s eyes, and a heat of embarrassment bubbled in his throat as it did so. He let the tears tease at the edge of his ducts before falling over his face in fat, ugly blobs of salt across his cheeks. He felt his nose begin to run as the pain overcame his senses and he placed his hands over the bloody cut to apply pressure to it. It was the only thing that moderately numbed the pain as he bit his lip hard to stop himself from whimpering out loud. He had to be strong. He couldn’t cry like he did at school. Even if he was alone, he shouldn’t have been crying. It wasn’t what boys did.
Yet the tears still fell as his hands stained themselves red.
Josh shut his eyes tight, pushing the tears away as he sniffled slightly in the quiet of the forest.
Quiet…hadn’t there been cicadas earlier, he wondered?
“Are you…alright?”
The new voice, echoing curiously through the trees, made Josh startle in surprise. He tried to stand up, muscles tensing with adrenaline, but the cut on his leg made itself known once more and he buckled in surprise. Without his hands covering it, the blood continued to spill from its ripped open flesh. The bottom half of his leg was stained pinkish red from where his trembling hands tried to push the pain out of the wound. His palms were the same, tinged red shade and all of him smelled strongly of pennies.
After a swath of silence there was a rustling of underbrush, obvious in the hush of the orange-kissed forest. The pinkish light filtered down on the man who pulled himself from between a set of brambles with both of his hands held up in surrender. His tanned skin shone in the light, brown eyes glowing near red in the shadows cast across his soft face and full lips. His hair was barely growing out from his buzz cut, a stage in its messiness that Josh had seen other boys put themselves through after a new school year when their mothers forced it on them.
He was older, too, though by how much Josh couldn’t tell. It was clear by the bags under his eyes and the way he stood, shrunk down and awkward at the edge of a tree he was nervous to move from. It was how all grown ups approached him. Like he was fragile, easily scared. Like he couldn’t survive under a scrutinizing gaze. Josh would like to think they were incorrect, but as tears fell down his cheeks faster at the sight of the stranger, there wasn’t a lot he could do to prove it.
They watched one another for a long moment, the stranger’s eyes flickering down to Josh’s wound with an intense interest that sent goosebumps up his spine.
“Looks like you fell pretty hard.”
“Y-Yeah.” Josh choked through hiccupy tears.
He approached Josh slowly, as if he were moving towards a wounded animal. Josh shifted, unsure, as all of the memories of children going missing in his hometown and the blast of child abductions on the news sung hard in his mind. Yet, he knew he could not run, even if this man had ill intentions. The realization made panic well in his chest and his eyes teared up again. He remained in that trembling state until the man bent down in front of him, eyes ghosting over his ripped open shin with hypnotized curiosity. HIs eyes truly did look red in this light now, and goosebumps broke out on Josh’s skin as the blood loss and shock began to hit him.
“I’m. I’m not supposed…” Josh tried to stutter out, but his throat was sore from sobbing and he was afraid that, if he spoke anymore, he’d throw up after smelling his own blood.
The man smiled warmly, his brows knit up in sympathy as he gave Josh a nod of understanding. The action, followed by no further attempts to touch him, made Josh relax as the other rubbed at the back of his head, slowly assessing the situation. “Well,” He spoke in a cracked whisper, “My name’s Tyler. What’s yours?”
Josh wondered if he really should answer. Josh wondered if it was a good idea. It was as if telling this man his name would have been…sealing something in a way. Promising words he didn’t know what he was agreeing too. It reminds him of when his mom signed a check at the bank, and they suddenly couldn’t eat the next week. His stomach churned, and his eyes assessed his wound once more.
“J…Josh.” He finally whispered out, almost half-hoping Tyler wouldn’t hear. He did, though, and he let a smile grow on his lips
Tyler nodded, eyes widening as a flash of an excited smile spread on his lips. It was replaced swiftly by something more friendly as he continued, “Josh…Would you um…I can help.”
He said it more as a question than anything else. The respect eased Josh’s nerves a little as he considered his options. Eventually he gave a nod of agreement, unsure of what else to do in this situation other than accept the help. “Do you have a band-aid?”
Tyler laughed at his question, a harsh sound that made Josh flinch back with embarrassment. Tyler’s eyes lit up with remorse after a moment and he tried to calm his shaking shoulders, “No, no I don't ... .I don’t need one, though. I can stop the bleeding without one, though.”
“Really? How?”
“Magic.”
Josh squinted at the other man as he spoke, his gaze clearly unconvinced as he leaned back with one hand on the mossy floor, “Magic isn’t real, dummy.”
“How do you know?” Tyler scoffed, mock offense echoing in his tone as he moved closer to Josh, “You haven’t ever seen it yourself, have you?”
“I’ve seen those guys who pull doves out of their hats,” Josh declared matter-of-factly, “I think they keep the doves in the hat before they pull them out.”
“Mm, you’re probably right. I don’t have any doves, though. They wouldn’t work for my trick.”
“Well, what is it?”
“Can I show you?”
Josh was hesitant. His shoulders tensed as he and Tyler stared at one another for a long, long time. The forest was still quiet, and Josh felt hyper-aware of his own breathing as he stared into Tyler’s eyes. They were beautiful, as licks of dark browns with glittering edges of orangy-red as the light hit them. They glimmered as if they were some sort of rock. Some sort of rare penny found in the crack of a sidewalk that Josh would be so excited to pick up. The longer he watched the others' eyes, the more at ease he felt. His shoulders slumped slightly, eyelids floating down as he let his breath out in a shaky sigh.
“Y..Yeah, okay.” Josh nodded, his veins thrumming with terror despite the fact that the rest of his body felt heavy.
Tyler jumped forward in an instant, nearly startling Josh into falling backwards as the older of them grabbed at his cut leg. His fingertips were calloused and his grip was firm, almost bruising, as it pressed into his skin. Josh whimpered, squirming with discomfort despite the previous calm he had felt not moments before. He tried to jerk his leg back and away from Tyler on instinct, but the older man’s grip was firm. It dragged him back forward, closer to his leaning form, and Josh’s heart screamed in his chest.
“Shhh-sh-sh-sh,” Tyler whispered sweetly to the child as he leaned closer, “You’re okay, Joshie, you’re okay. I promise it won’t hurt, I promise, okay? It won’t work if you keep moving like that. You need to stay still.”
Josh whimpered, attempting to forcefully still his body as he was told. Tyler held his leg until his whimpering and wiggling stopped. Josh found himself leaning back on the ground with both hands supporting him. Tyler held his injured leg off of the ground, hovering just above his own lap as he kneeled on his knees alongside him. If Tyler picked his leg up any further, though, Josh knew his grip on the earth would slip and he’d be laying on his back. He tried with all of his strength to keep his balance so that he would be able to watch the stranger’s magic trick.
“It hurts.” Josh whined, and Tyler’s grip on his leg tightened. Josh cried out when the edges of the other’s blunt nails dug into the very corners of the gash, all but sinking into the open wound and making the pain blossom across his shin once more, “Ow!”
“I know, I know,” Tyler’s gaze was sympathetic, “It won’t soon. I promise, I promise I promise…”
With those whispered words, Tyler leaned forward. Josh could feel his cold breath ghost across the open wound, causing another intense stinging sensation as the air tickled nerve endings that were never supposed to be exposed. Josh bit his lip hard, trying not to cry out as tears pricked his eyes once more. Yet he didn’t want to close his eyes. He didn’t want to look away.
Tyler put his mouth closer to the wound and inhaled the scent of the blood beneath him. A moan slipped past his lips, hot and appreciative, before he let his tongue loll from his open mouth. The wet appendage touched the bottom of Josh’s leg, making him jerk involuntarily. Tyler’s grip tightened too hard on him as a result, holding him firmly in place with little to no effort.
His tongue pressed down on Josh’s skin, the spongy and wet appendage dragging slowly around the edges of the wound, tracing its shape and licking up the rivulets of blood that stained his skin pink and veiny. The touch of wetness and saliva so close to the wound made Josh gasp, his eyes screwing shut as fresh tears fell down his face. He held back as long as he could, finally sobbing when Tyler finished circling the entire outline of the open wound with his tongue, cleaning all the edges diligently.
“Y-You said it w-wouldn’t hur-hurt!” Josh bawled through gritted teeth and whimpering disbelief. Tyler laughed, the sound hollow but amused, and his finger traced the shin where his tongue had just been in an adoring motion.
“Sh, it’ll stop in a second, I promise. Trust me. Can you trust me, Joshie?”
Tyler’s gaze was pleading, and Josh was unsure of how to respond, so he bit his lip and focused on his leg. He tried to ignore the man holding it.
Eventually Tyler was right, though. A strange, intense numbing sensation radiated from the edges of his cut until they sunk deeper into the flesh. Suddenly the stinging seemed to fade, along with the unbearable throbbing the cut itself caused. It wasn’t tingling, not in the way it did when Josh hit his leg on the edge of furniture, but it was…numb. Different. Sensitive but not painful, Josh dared to move his ankle slowly, flexing the muscles of his whole leg as he did so. Tyler’s hand stopped him with a gentle ‘shush’ and a shake of his head.
“It’s still injured,” Tyler chastised the child, “You’ll make it worse.”
Now a little more trustful, Josh nodded and stopped moving, “Was…Was that all it was?”
“Almost. Now I’m going to clean it up.”
“With what?”
Tyler grinned, his crooked teeth showing themselves. It was hard to see them in the now disappearing light of the sun. It had sunken almost all the way below the horizon, now, leaving the two shrouded in a strange, shadowy darkness.
His tongue was on Josh’s wound again, skating the edges for another moment before shifting to the gap in the skin. He dipped his tongue into the wound, sinking it past Josh’s first layer of flesh and burying it into the nerves. Josh could feel Tyler’s tongue move on the inside of his leg, practically licking at the muscle and sinew beneath the initial layer of blood and skin. It didn’t hurt, just as Tyler had promised, but there was a different feeling now. It gave Josh goosebumps and made him whimper in excitement as he gripped at the ground hard enough to obtain fistfulls of dirt.
It felt good. The sensation of a tongue probing beneath his leg sent a spark of pleasure through Josh’s small body. He shuddered and arched his back, dirt getting under his nails as he did so. His head threw itself back and he looked up high at the treetops. Small strands of moonlight began to glow silver between the leaves, seeping down against his and Tyler’s skin as the night consumed the forest.
Tyler licked out all of the blood his greedy tongue grabbed, swallowing each mouthful down like a man starved. He pulled Josh closer, dragging him with a surprising strength towards his waiting mouth. Josh yelped as his hands slipped, causing him to fall onto his back. He winced as his shoulders hit a patch of small twigs and rocks, the texture digging into his skin through his shirt. His face was flushed as he looked up at Tyler, watching the man as his tongue disappeared within his leg.
“H-Hey I…Tyler I-!” Josh tried feebly to get the other to stop, his trembling arm reaching out to try and swat away at the adult. Tyler did not look up, his hungry gaze focused on the cut. His mouth moved more furiously now. Josh was sure the bleeding had stopped now, he felt no more liquid dribbling and forcing itself from his form, but Tyler searched still. He could feel Tyler’s tongue tug and push away scraped up chunks of flesh. He felt him nudge away the muscles to reach tendons, popping blood vessels to renew the blood flow.
Josh cried out, overstimulation beginning to eat at his brain as he thrashed but it was not from pain, just as Tyler had promised. It was a different, strange feeling that twisted inside of Josh’s stomach. The tears that fell from his eyes were no longer about the cut, but about the tongue in them, as he tried to hold the dirt as an anchor beneath him. He was terrified of floating away from the earth itself. That Tyler would somehow such all of the things keeping him on the earth from his leg, sending him floating far away into space. Josh hiccuped and whimpered, but stayed quiet as he realized his words seemed not to reach Tyler’s ears.
Eventually, Josh did not know how long it was, Tyler pulled his mouth from the wound. He gasped and shuddered as his leg’s wet cavern hit the cool night air. Tyler’s head was thrown back, Adam's apple bobbing with a low moan.
Josh felt nothing on his leg, but he stared at it mindlessly as the blood clotted and pooled unnaturally, hissing as if poison had entered it. Below the numbness, he could feel a slight ache, as if his bone had been rattled in a cast. Tyler’s hands were gripping his leg tight, palm on one side of his calf so that his thumb could run over the clotting gash. He watched Tyler dip his digit into the opening, and was vaguely aware of the sickening, squelching noise that echoed as it moved under his skin. Tyler groaned again, louder this time. More guttural. Josh no longer felt his tears as he whimpered up at the man with a strangely foggy mind.
After a few more moments of mindless digging into Josh’s leg, Tyler pulled his hand away from it and put it to his face. Tyler cradled Josh’s head in his hand and his bloodied thumb pressed against the younger one’s chin, just below his lips. Josh wrinkled his nose at the scent of blood, tasting pennies in the back of his tongue at its closeness to his lips.
Suddenly Tyler was close. So close. Close enough to where their noses almost touched and Josh felt his body cage his own. His adrenaline spiked through the fog his brain rested in, but his limbs were heavy. Heavier than concrete. He adjusted, just a little bit, and that was all he could find it in him to do.
“You’ll be all better now,” Tyler declared, pride in his tone before he got even closer. He nuzzled at Josh’s hair, inhaling for a long time and holding his breath before exhaling with equal vigor. Josh could feel him smiling into his head, and he whined to get the elder’s attention.
“You tasted so good, Joshie,” Tyler cooed, focusing back on his face as his hooded eyes watched with nothing but adoration, “So, so good. You did such a good job for me, and now you’re all better right? It wasn’t so bad?”
Josh thought about how it could have gone, or, he tried to. Tyler was an adult, so, he was probably right anyways, wasn’t he? He would have just been bleeding otherwise, crying on the floor helplessly. So instead he chose to bask in Tyler’s words, pride of the praise puffing up his chest as he gave a shake ‘no’ because, clearly, it wasn’t so bad. Not when Tyler grinned and gave him a little squeeze on the shoulder, an adoring gesture that made Josh’s eyes widen in delight.
“So, so good…” Tyler trailed off, pressing his thumb harder on Josh’s lower lip, “Do you want to know, Joshie? What your blood tastes like?”
Josh wasn’t sure if he was curious or not, so he attempted to get his shoulders to shrug idly in his response, all while keeping his heavy lids open to stare at Tyler in confusion. Tyler’s eyes flecked themselves with brighter red now, nearly full crimson in his iris as his expression betrayed his loving and curious longing.
“Here, here,” Tyler cooed, using his thumb to pull open Josh’s lips. Josh complied slowly, his mouth hanging open. Tyler inhaled sharply as he watched the other’s mouth open up wide, drool that he was unable to swallow falling in thick globs off of the tip of his tongue. It dribbled down his chin and onto his shirt. Tyler was practically shaking as he slowly, slowly, pushed his thumb into Josh’s open mouth.
The flavor of sweat and pennies exploded in his mouth. Tyler’s skin tasted as though he hadn’t had a shower in a while, the grittiness of the dirty skin mixing with the copper flavor of his own blood. He didn’t know what Tyler was talking about, really. The way he praised Josh, he would have been convinced that his blood was the flavor of fruit punch or red skittles. Instead it was coppery and acrid, burning a hole on his tongue and then in his throat as Tyler reached as far back as he could go. The tip of his blunt nail brushed Josh’s uvula, and tears sprung into his eyes as his body wretched in discomfort.
“Sh, sh sh,” Tyler moaned into his hair, not stopping his thumb as it pushed deeper and deeper still. Josh exhaled through his nose, but it was hard as snot built up from his tears and he tried to push his heavy limbs into movement. Eventually, just before he thought he was about to vomit, Tyler pulled his thumb out. It was coated in thick spit, but the blood was gone, pushed far inside of Josh as he coughed and spit in a fight for air.
“Good boy, good,” Tyler cooed with a grin, “You did so good, Joshie. You’ll heal up in no time.”
With a friendly pat to Josh’s back, Tyler scooped him up in his arms and heaved him against his chest. Josh, unsure of what else to do, clung with his legs around Tyler’s waist and his arms around his neck, burying his snotty face into the man’s shoulder as he mumbled in exhaustion. Tyler rubbed his back with one, long hand and smiled affectionately behind Josh’s back.
“Let’s get you home, big guy.”
Josh was aware of movement. The trees and ground passed him by and he watched with idle fascination at how, despite the darkness, Tyler seemed to move without hitting a single obstacle. Cicadas silenced as they moved through the forest, as if shunning their presence. Josh tried to ignore the throbbing pain in his leg that was returning. Eventually, when the movement stopped and Josh was let down, he was aware enough again to stand on his own two feet. Blinking away exhaustion, he gazed forward at the familiar yellow lights of his family house.
His backyard. Did he tell Tyler where he lived?
Josh turned, half to thank the man by his side and half to question when he got the directions.
He stared back at the forest behind him, dark and silent as the vastness of it ate up any light from the home at its side. Josh blinked once. Twice. A sluggish limb rubbed at his eye before focusing once again. Hadn’t Tyler brought him here? He should have at least said goodbye if he was in such a hurry.
Regardless, Josh limped back into his house to find his family’s first aid kit with an ache in his throat that didn’t leave even when he drank water before bed.
Tyler Joseph moved into his neighborhood when he was thirteen years old.
Josh’s eyes fluttered open to darkness, well, slight darkness. It was the mix of a cloudy sunrise and the remains of the night as he peeled his arms off of his sweaty covers and rubbed his face with his hands. It was only the second month of summer vacation and Josh already felt irritated that it had flown by so fast. All he really did was skate down his block and sometimes catch a movie with his friends. He had been invited to only a couple of parties hosted deep in the woods behind his home, but he declined.
He didn’t go there anymore.
His mother’s laugh outside his window was a cheese grater on his brain. He groaned, sitting up slowly and brushing his sweat-ridden hair from his forehead. July was too hot this year, he grimaced, and his own radiating heat never did anything to help. He fanned the tank top over his chest and puffed a breath of hot air. His mom’s voice persisted outside of his open window. No breeze billowed in, and Josh decided that shutting it tight would be the best way to win him at least another half hour of blessed sleep.
His feet stuck to the hardwood floor as he toddered over to his second story window. A second of curiosity got the better of him as he leaned his head out slightly to see just what it was his mother was doing that warranted laughter before six in the morning.
Josh’s blood ran cold.
He wondered if this was a memory. If this was a hallucination. Perhaps he was still dreaming? His grip tightened on his windowsill as his leg, scarred from a childhood incident, began to ache painfully.
Tyler.
He looked the same, eerily so. It was as if he hadn’t aged at all, or, perhaps it was his memory failing him. Either way, the man looked to be in his later 20s, all bold smiles and a long hoodie wrapped around his body as one hand picked at his hair idly. He had sunglasses on despite the darkness, his grin crooked as he told something to his mom that made her laugh in amusement. Behind him, a group of uniformed men moved furniture into the house next door. Josh’s limbs trembled and he watched, the taste of pennies collecting in his mouth as a phantom memory. His blood rushed to his ears, pumping heavy in his veins as his breath quickened.
As if sensing the changes in his body, Tyler’s head snapped up and his sunglasses-covered eyes locked with Josh’s own brown ones. Everything in his body shut down then, save for the ever-increasing pain in his chest as his anxiety swallowed him. Wide-eyed, he stood like a deer in headlights at the attention. His mother followed the other man’s gaze, and her grin spread on her lips as she waved at him. She wasn’t aware. He had never told her what happened to his shin.
“Josh!” She called out to him, uncaring of their neighbors in the early dawn, “This is Tyler Joseph! He’s moving in next door. Would you like to come down and introduce yourself?”
Josh’s gaze shifted slowly from his mother to Tyler once more. His lungs burned while holding his breath and he watched Tyler’s closed mouth smile spread across his lips as he gave a small, almost shy, wave upwards at him.
On instinct Josh reeled back, slamming his window shut so hard that he rattled the entire frame in the old structure. The glass strained in its fitting, a threat to cracking heard in its crackling edges. He exhaled a long, heavy breath before sucking it in again quickly. His breaths spread up as he shut the curtains tight and tripped over his dirty clothes pile trying to lock his bedroom door as quickly as possible.
He didn’t leave until well past one, when his stomach snarled and his bladder threatened him with a stabbing soreness. Try as the young teenager might to sneak back to his ‘hovel’ (as she called it) his mom was quick to catch him. He knew his battle ended when she held out a plate of fresh brownies wrapped in tin foil and gave him a stern look. Josh groaned, shoveling a bite of the sandwich he had made for himself into his mouth as he did so.
“Mom, come on-.”
“You don’t just slam windows on your new neighbors, Joshua,” His mother snapped sternly, “I’m not having you come off as rude to anyone like that. So take this over to Mr. Joseph and greet him properly this time!”
“Come ON I was just-”
“Joshua William Dun!”
“Okay, okay!”
Josh trudged out of his house in a pair of cargo shorts and the same tank top he slept in, gripping the edge of the brownie dish so hard he was almost half-hoping he’d shatter the pyrex between his fingertips. Sadly, as he approached the door to Tyler’s house, he was left with no other choice but to knock on the door and pray the guy didn’t answer. God apparently didn’t hear him, because the door opened nonetheless.
“Come in, I’m working on something,” Tyler spoke quickly, as if he were in a hurry, “Close the door on your way in.”
Josh stared in shock as the front door to the house was left open before him. He took a look around the neighborhood for a few seconds and bit his lip, hoping that his mom would care if he hadn’t come back from the neighbors house in a bit. You know. Just in case. Then, stirring his courage, he stepped forward into the house, dutifully shutting the door behind him as he was asked to.
The house was dark, only a few low-level mood lights allowing a path through the hallway and into the living room. Josh squinted and looked around, trying to see the shadow of the owner. “My mom, uh, baked you some brownies.” Josh finally stammered out carefully, holding up the pyrex with a meek shrug of his shoulders, “Welcome to the neighborhood and…all that.”
“Sorry, one second one second-” Tyler’s voice was a little panicked and Josh could hear him rummaging. Eventually the man came into the living room, his hair fluffy and freshly brushed. Up close, the man hadn’t aged a day. Those sunken in brown eyes, flecked with what could have been red in the warm house light, were everything from his nightmares. Josh didn’t say anything as he approached him and smiled. From this close up, Josh could see his canines on his crooked teeth were just…slightly longer than average.
Just a bit.
“Your mom made them? That's nice.” Tyler’s voice was a low, soft tone. The same one that shushed Josh gently in a forest, a whisper of forest wind. He let Tyler take the brownies from his shaking hands.
“Would you like to have one with me?” Tyler asked, drifting off towards what Josh assumed was the kitchen. The offer was chilling, and his eyes cast themselves nervously towards the entrance of the house. With the door shut and the shudders closed, the entryway was bathed in an orangey darkness. He shifted on his feet and the floorboards creaked.
“Um, actually, I have to help my Mom with something so I really should-”
Tyler appeared from the kitchen entrance a little too quickly. Goosebumps broke out on Josh’s skin as he stared directly at Josh, eyes glowing back like hollow cat eyes in the light. Josh froze under them, his lips pursing. Tyler smiled, the only other visible thing in the darkness beyond those eyes. A visage of a grin and nothing more. Something of an omen that Josh wondered if he was hallucinating. The same hallucinations he saw on the edge of his bed sometimes when he couldn’t move.
“Just a quick bite, Joshie?”
He said it with a fondness Josh wasn’t quite sure about. His brows furrowed as he licked his lips. “Um. I don’t really like that…” Josh tried but his words faded away as Tyler waved a hand, beckoning him towards the kitchen. Josh followed, as is moved by a string attached from Tyler’s finger. He heard the sound of the floorboard giving way to tile and the light over the plastic kitchen table was just a little more fluorescent than that of the other house lights. It was like an interrogation as opposed to the warm welcome the other yellows offered.
“Why not? It’s cute.” Tyler sounded so earnest that Josh wondered if he simply didn’t remember the encounter. That he had earnestly called him that out of instinct, and he was simply stating the truth. Josh didn’t like the way it made him squirm and his heart flutter into his throat. He cleared it, trying to find words. When he couldn’t, he moved instead to sit down at one of the two chairs at either side of the table. He watched as Tyler produced a knife and two plates after placing the brownie tray between them.
“...Do I know you?” Josh finally got the question out after Tyler sat down on the opposite side of him. Tyler’s brows knitted together, honest confusion on his creasing eyelids as he tilted his head, questioning. Josh inhaled as he looked down at the brownies between them, their empty brown surface suffocating under the light. Tyler’s hands moved gracefully, long fingers gripping the knife and then the pyrex to steady it.
“Know me? I just moved in.” Tyler chuckled, moving his hand to offer Josh an empty plate to hold. Josh didn’t register it. Didn’t move as his brows creased harder, a headache warming the back of his temples as he tried so hard to remember.
“Yeah, but I…” Josh sounded unsure now, but his hand moved down to the scar on his leg either way, running a thumb over it. Tyler’s eyes flickered down for the most miniscule of seconds, studying, before it flitted back up. Sympathy was warm on his cheeks, but nothing more before he gestured to the still empty plate for the teenager to hold. He reached out finally, unthinkingly, and the paper felt wrong in his hand. Laminated in the worst of ways.
When the plate was free from Tyler’s grip, he used it instead to hold one of Josh’s wrists tight. Josh dropped the plate, a startled inhale of breath escaping his form as he bit his lip. Tyler inhaled at the same time, their breaths matching as they held them, shoulders up and on guard. Then Tyler smiled in a way that was just…so sweet. Saccharine and rich. A lavished ichor meant for gods. Josh could have melted if he weren’t seated. If he weren’t held by the wrist with a touch that could bruise if it were almost a fraction stronger.
He wanted to pull away when Tyler’s thumb ran along the bumps of the past, neatly lined up scars. Some faded and some were still scabbing. Josh yanked on instinct, but it spurred the other to yank the opposite direction, dragging Josh’s arm into the light. Running another thumb over introspectively. Josh winced as the fresh ones stang, but dared not speak. He could have cried. He wanted to cry.
But Tyler’s eyes softened so, so sadly, and Josh felt guilty for ever coming over.
“Oh baby,” Tyler’s voice cracked ever-so gently, “What did you do?”
“Nothing.” Josh murmured, a last ditch effort to deny what he could see. Brows furrowed, Tyler held his wrist up as evidence, irritation in his creasing brow. Josh felt tears growing fat and hot on the side of his lashes. Embarrassment soaked into his skin in a way he hadn’t felt since he was even younger.
“Do your parents know?” Tyler’s voice was sharp, accusing.
“No! No, no, please-” Josh reached out, his free hand gripping on Tyler’s knuckles as he squeezed desperately, “Please don’t say anything to my parents, no! They can’t know, please-please-please, Mister Joseph.”
The sensation of Josh’s skin on Tyler’s made the older man stiffen, his grip laxing slightly and his eyes shifting to Josh’s face with curiosity. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“I’ll do anything, please, they can’t know! They just can’t, please…”
Tyler pursed his lip, thoughtful, and when he gave a nod of agreement Josh felt his shoulders slump with relief. He exhaled his breath, shuddering as Tyler remained still, keeping his grip. Josh looked up, waiting for what the other had to say.
“Anything? You’d do anything…” Tyler mused, as if he found it funny. Josh felt his ears heat up, and his heart beat hard as he gave a nod. Something mixed inside of him. A terror and an anticipation. As if he hadn’t had a dream about Tyler almost every night for the past two years. As if he didn’t stroke the sensitive scar on his leg and think back to the feeling of a hot tongue licking over his muscle membrane. So he gave a nod, affirmingly breathing out an ‘anything’ in assurance.
Josh felt warm as Tyler smiled. As he pushed the knife into Josh’s opposite hand, guiding it with his own towards his wrist. Josh tensed up, discomfort welling in his stomach and gurgling into a tight-throated scream that never came out. He looked at Tyler, watching the other as he stared at Josh’s skin with adoration. With care. Josh felt a warm, sweetness wash over him, and his brain grew foggy as Tyler pulled his wrist to his mouth. To plant a kiss on the scabs and lick up the length of old ones. The spit hit the chilled air, drying it to takiness.
“Show me?” Tyler’s tone was hopeful.
“Show…” Josh felt his hand being guided forward, cold steel pressing slightly into his warm, pale skin. He shuddered.
“How you did it. Show me how you did this, okay? I want to know what you did. I want to see it.”
Tyler’s tone was so insistent. So needy. Josh felt his gaze soften slightly at the man, who smiled back at the change of expression eagerly. “If I see what you do, I can figure out how to help. I can make that pain go away for you for a long time. Don’t you want that?”
Yes. He did. He wanted it. He wanted to feel better. To not be scared. To leave this situation and not focus on it unless he has to. Even then, he doesn’t want to. So he nodded. He did want it, and Tyler smiled with a kindness that Josh hadn’t seen from anyone in a long while, not even his parents. It eased his mind as he looked at the knife pressed to his wrist.
Part of him begged not to. Part of him pleaded this wasn’t right. It was the same part that always yelled, though. The same part that, in a mess of tears and anxiety, gets ignored. Gets thrown away in panic until pain brings him back into reality. Josh shut his eyes tight and pressed the knife to his wrist as hard as he could manage. Chewing on his bottom lip, he made his movements quick and fast, trying not to register the feeling of his skin tearing open jaggedly.
He keened and curled forward, cradling his arm to his chest with a sigh of embarrassment. He didn’t want Tyler to see. Not anyone could see. He had no reason to do it, but he felt the need to. It grounded him. Assured him that he deserved it, even though he knew people would look at him with pity and fear. He didn’t want to see that from this man. Not now.
But, when Tyler’s fingers cradled his chin and tilted it upwards, there was no sound. Daring to peek through a closed eye, Josh’s heart skipped to see Tyler staring at him with awe. Adoration. Amazement and a hunger that had him melting in the weirdest way he had felt in a long while. His bleeding wrist was pulled forward, strings of sticky blood dribbling down the surface of his arm. It dripped off of his skin and down, down, down. Off of his arm. Into the waiting pan of brownies below. Josh cursed and attempted to move his arm away from the food, trying to keep the blood off of it.
Tyler gripped his bleeding wrist firmly, holding it in place over the food without a word about it. Josh frowned, but didn’t have time to comment on it. Not as Tyler’s head dipped down and he felt his tongue laving his wrist again, this time catching as much blood as he could on his tongue. He lapped it up, a reverential cry of excitement vibrating up Josh’s skin as he watched.
Lips smeared with blood. Josh’s wrist stopped aching and there was a pleasant numbness. A pleasure that made him shudder as he let his head fall back. As he let his body go lax, gripping the table like a lifeline with his free hand.
“You still taste so good, Joshie,” Tyler moaned against him, pulling his mouth away to lick at his upper lip reverently, “Just as good as I remember, such a good boy.”
Josh whimpered, trying to swallow it with a cough. Tyler heard, though. Josh knew he did.
There was one more reverential lick across Josh’s aching arm. One last swipe of a finger to taste the blood, and then Tyler was gone. Josh slumped, raggedly breathing. Swallowing hard. Staring forward at those sweet brown eyes as he was showered in compliments he couldn’t hear. He could only nod when Tyler asked if he wanted a band aid. He felt his arm being fixed up, wrapped in gauze, and kissed gently over the wrapping. He felt a glass being pressed to his mouth, cool water flowing down his throat as he greedily swallowed, returning to himself slightly.
Some food was pressed to his lips. It tasted like sugary pennies, hot and rich on his tongue. He had to take another sip of water to swallow it, and when he did he took two more bites before he felt too full to continue.
Tyler was right. He felt…better. The pain was gone and that sweet, mind-numbing warmth overcame his limb, a venom lulling him. He felt Tyler ruffle his hair, and he leaned into it appreciatively. “Better?” Tyler questioned, and Josh nodded in relief.
“‘S nice.” Josh murmured, “Mind’s never been this…”
“Quiet?”
Josh nodded.
“I know,” Tyler kissed his forehead in return, “I can do it whenever you like, you know? If you ever feel bad or anxious…I can do it again and it’ll go away.”
“Do I…need to cut myself again?”
“Yes,” Tyler smiled, “But, think about it. Wouldn’t you do it either way if you were that sad? At least like this, you actually feel better after.”
Josh winced at the bluntness, but couldn’t deny the logic. So he nodded in understanding, reaching out for the knife again and staring at the bloody spot produced by his wrist. He looked over from his bandaged arm to his clean one. He licked his lips, the high of thoughtlessness turning him stupid as he looked up at Tyler in embarrassment.
“Um…Is it only once that we can…I mean at a time. We couldn’t do it…again or anything now?”
Tyler laughed and reached out, holding Josh’s unbandaged wrist in his hand and running his thumb against the skin just as he had done before. “We can do it as many times as you want, Josh,” Tyler assured, “Wherever you want.”
A feeling of control overwhelmed Josh as he bit his lip. In a whirlwind of chaos, he could at least feel warmth. At least he could choose.
When he returned to his house, and his mother asked why his arms were bandaged, he told her that he had dropped the pyrex. She yelled at him for being clumsy, but allowed him up to his room without another thought.
Josh lay in his bed floating for a while, his mind spinning the ceiling clockwise in its haziness. His arms throbbed, their strange high settling like cement in his limbs once more. A feeling he had dreamed about. He had wondered if it was real, or in his head. He knew now, though, that this was real. It was so real, and so warm, and so perfect that he had to hold back a hot, breathy cry through the overwhelming pleasure. His legs twitched and his head rolled to the side, eyes feathering shut into one of the longest naps of his entire life.
He dreamt about cherry-glazed brownies washed down with water in a glass of pennies. He swore he felt a kiss to his ear somewhere far away.
Josh had his first drink when he turned sixteen.
His parents were out of town for his birthday and, for a while, he had accepted not celebrating it. A part of him was bitter about their leaving. They were planning a vacation even though they knew what day it was. Josh had supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised, this had been the norm on his birthday for a while, but sixteen felt like a big number. He had hoped, somewhere in his heart, that his mom would have at least cared. That his dad would have maybe sent a card in the mail for him. Instead he had been left with nothing but the quiet emptiness of his house and his own thoughts. His own anxieties eat away at him and the ache in his wrist to remind him of thoughts he’d rather forget.
So, Josh didn’t deny Tyler when he offered to let Josh spend the evening with him. Alone. Together.
He had offered it with a warm, genuine smile. The same one that made Josh’s heart skip a beat when it pressed to his bloody wrists. The same one he gave when his parents were with him in the front lawn. There was a meaning hidden in it, just as there was when they brushed hands and talked in soft voices around one another, lingering in their spaces for far too long.
Their relationship had been like that for…well…since Tyler had moved in. There were moments of fleeting silence as they cast glances at one another. When they talked at neighborhood gatherings or before he walked into his house from school, Tyler was kind and charming. He made adults around him laugh, teasing others his age but none ever like he did to Josh. No one got the hugs that lingered just a little too long, and the forehead kisses that came after a long evening of tears and blood.
Josh rubbed at his long sleeve shirt, grateful for the cold air in Tyler’s house as he rested his back on the couch. It was an excuse not to show his arms. Tyler had told him they had to keep it to themselves, and dutifully he had. Every new cut was nothing compared to the comfort Tyler’s tongue brought. When it lapped and kissed his wrists, cooing gentle words into his skin as he cried and gasped and flew into the sky.
No one knew. No one could know. They had made sure of it, the facade of friendly neighbors neat on their record. Neighbors who watched one anothers houses and borrowed sugar regularly. His mother was always fine with him going over. She never asked any questions. Josh relished in the feeling of independence with Tyler. Like, for once, he had control over something in his life.
“Here.”
Josh looked down at the open beer bottle Tyler had put in front of him on the coffee table, his thoughts dissipating as he stared at it in surprise. He let his gaze flit upwards to Tyler, disbelief on his face while Tyler only kept smiling. “What?” Josh questioned, and Tyler sat on the couch next to him with a grunt. Picking up the remote, the adult switched the television on. It was some sort of sitcom, Josh wasn’t sure of its origins. It looked old, but Tyler liked old shows. Any time he came over, some sort of black and white film was playing loudly on the screen. Trans atlantic accents filled his home regularly, or the sound of foreign films with gory horror themes and loud tragedies sending tears down actors eyes.
He had asked Tyler about it once, and the older man shrugged in return. “They’re nostalgic.”
He didn’t press further.
Josh picked up the cold beer that had been placed in front of him, looking once more at Tyler.
“I’m turning sixteen,” Josh joked, “Not Twenty-One.”
“Come on, most teens drink before then,” Tyler nudged Josh’s shoulder playfully, “If you’re going to do it eventually, might as well be supervised, right?”
Josh swirled the bottle in his hand, watching the golden liquid spin and glimmer in the low yellow lights that he had gotten so comfortable with in his neighbors home. He bit his lip as anxiety hammered in his throat. He was keenly aware of Tyler’s eyes trailing on him. They always did, and the intensity of the gaze made Josh long to prove something. To show Tyler that he really was worthy of his undivided, warm attention at all times. That it was all he wanted. That it was all he craved.
“I don’t know,” Josh tilted his head, “You sure you won’t tell my Mom?”
“Promise,” Tyler agreed with a smile, “Now drink up.”
“Aren’t you going to have any?”
“I like wine more. Usually before bed.”
“Could I try some of that, too?”
Tyler laughed, shaking his head with a look of amusement towards the teenager, “See how you like beer, first, and then we can work our way up.”
The promise made Josh sit up straight, place the beer bottle to his lips, and hesitantly lean back to take a drink. The second the alcohol touched his tongue it exploded with an acrid, bitter taste that made his nose wrinkle in disgust. He pulled the bottle away quickly, swallowing down one long sip before coughing through the sting of alcohol. Tyler’s chuckle was audible, his hand on Josh’s back as he rubbed it through his choking fit. Looking at the alcohol bottle, Josh grimaced.
“It can be a lot for your first time.” Tyler assured.
“I’m doing just fine!” Josh defended, embarrassment coating his cheeks in pink as Tyler smiled knowingly at him.
“Of course you are.” He conceded, “If you leave it too long it’ll go flat, though, so drink it quickly.”
Josh did, preferring to get it over with rather than sip casually. With a final exhale he threw his head back to chug the rest of the open beer bottle as fast as he could, retching when the last of it swirled down his esophagus and the bitter burning shook his head like a ringing bell. His mind swirled for a moment, breathless, and he spluttered out a few spitty coughs and another groan. Afterwards, as if in reward, Tyler wrapped his arm around Josh and pulled him close to his side on the couch.
It was the spot Josh loved the most, he had to admit. He moved himself closer to Tyler in return, snuggling into him and focusing on the television show in front of him. They were planning to order dinner later, but already Josh’s teenage stomach growled angrily for food. He knew, if he wanted to, he could get up himself and get a snack from Tyler’s cabinet. He had been over so often that he practically had his own snack cabinet at this point, but being in Tyler’s arms was too comfortable. Resting at his side was just too perfect.
After a while, Josh’s head grew fuzzy. His mind ached with a fizziness that made him reach up to rub a wet, teary yawn from his eyes. Shutting them tight, he tried to ignore the weight in his legs now as he turned to block the light of the television from hitting his overly sensitive eyes. He focused on Tyler instead. Tyler at his side, cold and familiar.
Tyler smelled like cherries and vanilla all the time, a hidden musk beneath the body wash that drove Josh crazy. He nuzzled closer to Tyler’s shirt, inhaling as his eyes remained shut. It was hard to move his hand, but he did out of desperation. Out of a craving as he let his fingers ghost over Tyler’s chest, feeling his pec with a light movement of fingertips. He memorized its shape, but had never seen it bare. He had imagined it many times on late nights when he held his cock in trembling fingertips, but the idea of being this close overwhelmed him with a shudder.
“Joshie, are you doing okay?” Tyler asked, concern in his voice as he squeezed Josh’s shoulder. The feeling was fireworks on his body, exploding in a way that made Josh shiver. He pressed his forehead to Tyler’s shoulder.
“Y’smell good…” Josh slurred, his words not working with his tongue as his eyes drooped.
He was vaguely aware of a laugh. Of a hand raising his chin upwards. Bleary-eyed, he tried to focus on Tyler as the elder stared at him, searching his face with something between adoration and starvation. Josh licked his lips, a heat building inside of his cut that made him rub his legs together. Tyler took notice. He must have, because his opposite hand rested on Josh’s thigh, just on the outer edge, and squeezed. Josh shuddered, a noise escaping him that he didn’t recognize. His brows furrowed and, slurring, he questioned at Tyler with slight panic in his tone:
“A-Am I drunk?”
“A bit, but that's okay. It makes things feel better.”
Josh hummed his understanding, leaning into Tyler’s touch and tensing his thigh slightly as he felt the other’s hand give a gentle squeeze to his leg over the sweatpants he had worn for the evening. A heated blush overcame Josh as his mind, impulsive and unable to control itself in the stupor he found himself in, asked under the guise of a tired exhale:
“Does it make kissing feel better?”
A swath of silence. Josh berated himself for asking such a thing. The concern was broken, however, when Tyler drew his face closer to his own. Their lips brushed, hot breath rolling over their faces as Tyler’s gaze searched through Josh’s surprised one for something. Something Josh didn’t know. Not that he could care. Not as his mind sparked with excitement and his body tensed with a fear and eagerness that had his heart in his throat.
Without another word, Tyler closed the distance. His lips were cold, almost bitterly so, but Josh chalked it up to the warmth of alcohol running in his veins. Either way, Tyler was right. Josh felt fireworks light up inside of him. Each nerve ending was racked with a shivering pleasure that made him moan on instinct. Tyler took the moment to slide his tongue into Josh’s open mouth, pulling him closer. He tasted like pennies and mint, hot and cold at the same time and Josh was addicted to the flavor.
He let Tyler lick into his mouth greedily. He let him drag his body around like a rag doll until he was on his lap. Josh felt his dick twitch in his sweats, hard and aching. How long had it been like that? It didn’t matter, because he felt lost the second Tyler’s lips pulled away from his. He whined and threw his head back. When his hips canted forward on their own, and felt Tyler’s own half hard length beneath his pants, a babble of incoherent words left his lips. A prayer to nothing in particular as Tyler’s hand rose up, running a finger down the length of his neck and chest, stopping at the hem of his Blink-182 shirt and tracing the collar.
“Joshie,” Tyler murmured, nuzzling into his skin. Josh couldn’t stop his words from spilling out. From saying something he held back, but whispered in all fantasies. All of his thoughts and hopes, a begging plea spoken before his courage lapsed:
“I love you,” He choked out quickly, “Tyler I love you.”
Tyler’s eyes widened in shock, his hands gripping tighter on Josh’s hips, thighs tensing beneath him. Josh swears he feels the other’s cock jump to attention, hardening at just the sentence he confessed, and it made his hips buck forward and whimper. Tyler groaned, a noise deep and gravely in his throat as he ground his hips back at Josh in confirmation.
“You do? You really love me?” Tyler whispered, awed. Almost disbelieving. Josh felt his face flush red, mouth open as he moaned. Tyler’s long fingers made their way between them, pawing at Josh’s dick through his sweatpants. Gripping the length firm and rubbing his hand up slowly, then down. The friction made him sob, chasing the pleasure as he babbled out pleads he weren’t sure were English anymore.
“I love you,” Josh repeated, “I love you. I’ll do anything, please. Please.”
Tyler smiled and pulled Josh into another kiss, hot and burning. It sizzled Josh’s tongue like acid. Like bleach as Tyler helped them both shimmy down their pants. The taste of minty mixed with his beer-flavored teeth, but Josh wasn’t sure if he could remember how to use his taste buds anymore. He was simply there now, relenting to Tyler’s dominating tongue. Allowing it to explore every inch of his mouth, shoving it down close to his wisdom teeth, stroking them reverentially.
“I love you too, Joshie,” Tyler gasped as he pulled his mouth away, reaching for both of their weeping dicks. One long hand wrapped around them. Josh felt the tender skin press against Tyler’s, hot and throbbing. He moaned, throwing his head onto Tyler’s shoulder. Gripping him as if he might float away if he didn’t. He could cry. He might cry. He loved him too, he had said. Tyler loved him too.
“You’d do anything for me, right?” Tyler whispered into his ear, kissing the outer shell. Josh couldn’t nod quickly enough.
That was when Tyler began to slow his tender strokes of their cocks. Josh felt like he was on fire, melting and gasping for air as he drowned in invisible liquid. An ichor of pleasure that tasted like Tyler’s lips. That felt like Tyler’s palm as it slid their cocks against one another, kissing the tips and lubing one another up with their precum.
His lips were pressed to Josh’s neck. Josh whimpered at the feeling, shoulders tensing up as Tyler groaned raggedly. His voice was cracking, pitched up and almost nervous as he gripped Josh’s thigh tighter with his free hand, dragging him close.
“I’m g-gonna bite. Bite you right here, okay? R-Right on you here, Joshie-” A press of crooked teeth to Josh’s paper jugular, making him shiver - “And I can’t. I can’t top after I start, okay? I can’t stop but it won’t hurt for long, I promise. Can you do that for me?”
Josh’s mind swam, too far gone and too far into the deep end of pleasure to comprehend what was happening anymore. All he knew was that Tyler was touching him. His hand was around his dick and he throbbed in those fingertips. He felt the throbbing sweetness against him and Josh had no religion anymore.
He couldn’t say anything. Only whine and tilt his head, baring his jugular to Tyler’s waiting teeth as a sign of submission.
There was no hesitation. No formalities as Tyler bit down, hard. Harder than Josh had actually believed that he would. It almost sobered him up from the daydreamy high he felt coursing through his brain. It was replaced by alarm bells. Hot fiery pain gripping down on his neck. A thread tightening more and more and more, making him cry. Making him scream out Tyler’s name and scramble to hold the older man’s shoulders tight in his grip.
The deafening pop of canines ripping through tender skin. Something warm and wet began to coat Josh’s neck, and he cried out louder than he had before. Tyler’s hand moved to shove itself deep into Josh’s mouth, muffling his screeches and tears while his opposite jacked them both off faster. Pain mixed with pleasure, a disorderly conduction that made Josh’s head spin with overstimulation. His face flushed and he felt so hot. His dick was growing hotter, warmer, and he could feel his balls throb with a desperate need.
“Josh, Josh, Josh, Oh-...” Tyler chanted his name, a low moan following soon after as he let his tongue drag across the tainted skin. He sucked hard around the bitten area, tongue sending a stinging sensation through the open wound. Josh cried around Tyler’s fingers as the pain mixed with the glorious pleasure that was his hand moving faster. Quickening its pace so that Josh could drive his hips up. His wound was kissed and lapped at. Worshiped as Tyler pulled their dicks faster, rubbing the heads together, smearing their precum together.
“Tyler,” Josh gasped when his mouth was finally free of fingers, “Tyler, I’m-! I’m gonna…gonna- Oh fuuuuuck~.”
“Good boy, such a good boy,” Tyler cooed, “Come on, good boy, cum.”
Another squeeze of their cocks was all it took for Josh’s hips to still and for his throat to run dry as he cried out. Pearly strands of white painted Tyler’s shirt, still worn even through their tender embraces. Josh felt Tyler’s hand wrap around his neck, squeezing for a brief moment. Josh’s heart skipped a beat, his breath catching as he felt his windpipe pulse. Tyler’s hand dragged itself down his bitten neck, smothering the palm in blood. His blood. He watched, dazed, as Tyler wrapped his bloody hand around his still hard cock and began to jack himself off furiously. Josh’s dick, limp and spent, twitched in slight interest as he watched the blood stain the other’s skin a pasty pink.
Soon Tyler’s cum joined his, wet and pearly, mixing between them just as Josh’s did. The mere sight of it made Josh shiver. The mere sound of Tyler’s keening voice, delighted and orgasmic, made him want to record it.
Tyler pulled Josh into a lazy kiss, long and languid. Josh felt the blood drip down his neck, soaking his shoulder and tracing his pectoral. He could feel it soak at his shirt’s edge, staining the fabric red. He didn’t care. His mind spun and he sighed, feeling good. Better than he ever had. He was held tight by the older man. He was something meaningful to him. Josh sighed shakily, mumbling another ‘I love you’ into Tyler’s chest. Tyler kissed the top of his head, smiling into his hair as he did so.
“I love you so much, Joshie. You’re so, so good.”
On the day he turns eighteen, Tyler invites him to run away.
They had been going steady since Josh’s sixteenth birthday, their closeness a secret from everyone. It hid in plain sight. When Tyler offered to drive Josh to boxing practice so his mother could have a day off. He helped do housework and teach Josh handy tricks. He was a welcome fixture in their home, but his mother missed their shared gazes.
She missed when they skipped Josh’s boxing practice and fucked in the back of the parking lot. She missed when he had Josh bent over an old piece of attic furniture, tugging at his cock while he fondled his nipples. She missed their searing kisses and touches under the table when Tyler was invited over for dinner as a thanks.
Josh was in heaven. He was loved. He was cared for.
They celebrated his eighteenth birthday over at Tyler’s, as they had done every birthday for the past four years. Josh was not shy about drinking now, his tongue growing accustomed to dry beers and the jittery lust the alcohol provided. Tyler hovered over Josh on the couch as he put down an empty bottle. Tyler nosed at Josh’s neck, licking over old scars and bite marks from his previous consumptions of his flesh. There wasn’t a spot on Josh’s body that didn’t have Tyler’s teeth embedded deep in it.
“Joshie,” Tyler moaned softly, “I love you. I want you to come with me.”
Josh laughed, amused but not convinced, “Come with you where?”
“Anywhere you want, love. Anywhere you’ve ever wanted to go,” Tyler grinned, tracing parts of Josh’s Adam's apple carefully, “You’re eighteen now, right? Your parents can’t tell you where you can’t go. They can’t stop us. Wouldn’t it be nice to start over somewhere and be together without worrying about something like that?”
Josh tensed up slightly, biting his lip. He considered leaving his Mom alone in that big house when she cried every night about her divorce. Would she even notice if he left tonight? Would she care?
Tyler cared. Tyler always cared. He proved that in the way he kissed Josh’s lips. In the way he cradled his cheek and licked needily into his mouth. He pulled moans from Josh with practiced ease. A convincing argument in comparison to the poor life Ohio had gifted him before. After taking a breath of thought, Josh smiled.
“I’d like to see LA one day.” He offered.
“Mm,” Tyler nodded, “Then will you go to LA with me?”
“I don’t know, Ty…That’s…”
“I love you, Joshie.” Tyler whispered, moving up to cradle his head close. To press their foreheads together as he swallowed shakily, “I want to go somewhere with you and keep you with me, okay? Please, Joshie, go with me and I promise we can have this every night.”
Josh sighed, the thought tempting. Tyler bites his skin even more so. He shivered as he felt Tyler’s hand brush his sides. As he felt his mouth begin to nibble on old scars. He pleaded brokenly, hungrily, and Josh felt himself nodding without realizing what it was he was agreeing too. Or, maybe that was a lie. Perhaps he did know what he was agreeing to.
That was how he found himself with a backpack slung over his shoulder, shoes crunching dry dirt as he ran through the forest of his backyard. Tyler had told him where to meet him. He had marked a trail, he said, and he would meet him there. Josh’s heart beat with adrenaline. He swallowed heavily in his stomach. He felt vomit grow in his chest. He squinted through the forest in an effort to search for something, anything, that might be a trail. That Tyler might have left for him. Because he would. He promised.
The crack of a twig. Josh froze and turned around. A familiar silhouette, with eyes sparkling like cats in moonlight, stared forward at him. Watched him hungrily. Gazed at him with a smile only seen in the darkness. It reminded Josh of something far, far away. Something in his past that made his blood run cold. He swallowed hard, but smiled. It was Tyler. Tyler loved him.
“I’m ready…” Josh whispered, and he saw Tyler extend a long, bony hand. Had his fingers always been that long? That spindled at the tips that they edged on into thickened claws? He reached out, feeling the texture of the hand before him. It was sticky, like sap or resin. Josh rubbed the edges of the shape curiously.
Josh looked up once again, a terrible feeling suddenly intense in his lungs. He let his breath puff out for only a moment, eyes wide with tears as he gazed all too close to those unsavory, ineffable eyes.
Trees swallowed the sound, a loamy silence wet in the sky as the night moved on.
Two weeks after Joshua Dun disappeared from his home in Columbus, Ohio, his blood was identified in the forest behind his childhood home.
His death has been ruled an animal attack.