Chapter Text
In a world full of the incredible, Izuku Midoriya was found to be inferior. He’d known, deep down, the second his doctor uttered the word ‘Quirkless’: that he’d never be on the same footing as everyone else. He’d realized, that first time his best friend burned him, that he’d always be ten steps behind. He'd never doubted that.
But that's the thing about ‘deep down’. It stretches on forever and ever. And if he could bury those feelings deep enough, he could keep striving for greatness.
-
“Izu, dear…? You’re going to be late, sweetheart,” His mom whispered softly, barely peeking her head inside his dark room. She hadn’t had the chance to change out of her scrubs from last night’s shift, and likely wouldn’t get a chance to before her next one. They’d been calling her in more frequently, as she took almost every shift she could get. Izuku felt guilt pooling in his chest. She worked herself to the bone for him and what could he give her for it? If he had a quirk, his father would never have left: she wouldn’t have to work so hard.
The last thing he wanted to do was get out of bed. His limbs were sore and aching. A variety of bruises and welts decorated his arms, no doubt only going to get worse if he showed his face today. But one look at his mother’s fatigued expression was enough to get him out from under the covers. She didn’t deserve his behavior today of all days. He gave her a half-smile, assuring her he’d get himself ready.
So, with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, he threw on his school uniform. He’d already patched the hole in the back from last week, and silently prayed nobody would ruin his clothes again. It was a futile wish, but he had befriended denial a long time ago. He sighed, leaving the safety of his room.
“...Sorry, Mom,” He said as he stepped out of the hallway. She wasn’t there. Her shoes were gone and so was her purse. Izuku bowed his head, his heart aching. Already? How could the hospital call her in so early? It’s my fault. If I wasn’t such a burden, she wouldn’t have to work so much.
Izuku momentarily considered grabbing breakfast, deciding against it when his stomach vehemently protested the idea. It had been doing that a lot lately, he really hoped he wasn’t sick. They couldn’t afford that.
He was fine, one meal wouldn’t kill him. Even if he said that about dinner the night before, nobody was there to call him out on it.
A stack of papers laid on the table. Their bills for the month. The expenses never seemed to end. He grit his teeth, his hands balled into fists. He didn’t have time to be falling apart, not right now. Izuku inhaled a shaky breath, pushing his feet to carry him the few feet it took to get to the front door. Grabbing his shoes, he hoped one last time for everything to be okay. Because if he could bury his dread deep enough, it couldn’t hurt him.
-
Maybe he shouldn’t have stopped, but it was Kamui woods in action! Not to mention Mt. Lady’s debut. Even though Izuku didn’t approve of the amount of destruction she caused, he couldn’t help but be fascinated by her quirk. His brain ran a million miles an hour, theorizing all of the practical applications of a power like that. Alongside that admiration came a slightly bitter feeling. He shoved it down in favor of returning to the task at hand: getting to class on time.
“You’re late, again,” The teacher scowled, not bothering to mask his intolerance. Izuku flinched, barely remembering to breathe as he stood in the doorway like an idiot. The bell rang right as he made a move to speak. Right on time.
The man huffed, dismissing him to his seat, The boy nodded before trying to make his way to his desk without any problems.
Falling wasn’’t an unfamiliar feeling, especially the feeling of cold tile berating his body as he connected with it. He bit his lip to suppress a yelp. The student who tripped him laughed heartily, as if his misery was the funniest thing in the world.
Every bruise along his left side screamed to be acknowledged. Izuku denied them, pushing past the ache to get his body upright. The other students who watched him struggle cackled, taking great pleasure in seeing pain in someone they looked down on.
Izuku sat down as quickly as he could manage, his thoughts fading into static as the teacher scolded him for disrupting his lesson.
To say he paid any attention to the instruction would be a lie. He didn’t see a point when he already knew most of the material and didn’t have much in terms of a future anyway. He closed his notebook, letting his hand linger on the cover. ‘Hero Analysis for The Future. Vol. 13.’, his newest installment in his series of quirk analysis. Now sporting a whole page on Mt. Lady and an additional page on Kamui Woods.
The thought of becoming an analyst had crossed his mind on occasion, but the dim fire in his heart denied it wholeheartedly. He wanted to be a hero. A beacon for others to rely on, saving the day with a smile. Even if that thought became increasingly hard to hold onto.
He figured he was the last person in the classroom, not noticing anyone else as he packed his bag. Then he heard those heavy footsteps and all of his hopes of getting away unscathed faded. ‘Just one more year, just one more,’ Izuku told himself, clutching the strap of his backpack as Kacchan grabbed a hold of his shoulder.
“The hell do you think you’re doing, Deku!” The boy snarled, his voice full of unrestrained venom. He shoved Izuku back, fortunately not burning his already injured limb. Kacchan seemed furious, and for once he wished he’d paid attention to the class so he would know why. Then again, the blonde never needed a reason before. Izuku took a breath, keeping his head down and his mouth shut. They’d get bored eventually.
“Quirkless freaks like you don’t have a shot at getting into U.A. They don't even let nulls test!,” Kacchan spat, stepping forward with the determination of showing Izuku just what his place was. As if he hadn’t a hundred times before. Izuku stepped back, trying to keep his body from shaking. It was pathetic, how his childhood friend’s presence made him want to run and hide. He should be used to this by now.
“They… They changed that… that rule last year…” Izuku protested weakly, immediately regretting saying anything at all when Kacchan’s face twisted in anger. Before he could stop it, the other boy had snatched his notebook from the desk. His heart dropped to his stomach. All of his notes on underground heroes laid inside those pages, that information was so hard to get his hands on. Kacchan couldn’t possibly-
In a flash of light, months of work went up in flames. Izuku cried out despite himself, lunging for the item as it was tossed out the window. He hung slightly against the windowsill, trying to hold himself together. Anger and grief flooded through him, attempting to take him over completely. For a moment, he wanted to follow the notebook down. Thinking of his mother’s sad eyes kept him frozen to the ground. Of course, Kacchan didn’t end his rampage there, snickering as he turned to speak to his victim once again.
“You know, Deku. There is one way you can become a hero,” He taunted, his lips upturned in a nasty grin. Izuku couldn’t breathe, staring at the blonde with a blank expression. What more could this boy take from him? What part of Izuku had he not broken yet?
“Take a swan dive off the roof and pray for a quirk in your next life.”
And then he was gone, laughing proudly as his lackey’s backed him up.
For everything he’d buried over the years, all it took was those few words for all of it to resurface. Izuku inhaled sharply, his chest tight and unrelenting. Once the first tear broke through, he couldn’t stop the rest. A pitiful sob ripped through his throat as he fell to his knees, clawing at his shirt. The fabric felt suffocating, like it was strangling him. He was suddenly incredibly grateful for the solitude. Nobody should have to see this hideous display.
Izuku shuddered, his mind flashing through the various ways he’d already considered. There was no way for Kacchan to know he’d already… That he’d failed once before. He laughed wetly, covering his face with his hands. They could hide him from the world if he believed hard enough.
-
“That’s not food, silly fish…”
It had taken him an embarrassingly long time to pull himself together. Izuku gently scooped his book from the water, feeling his heart break further as he tried to open it. All of his notes were illegible, the drawings mere smudges on the soaked paper. Most heartbreakingly, his page on Eraserhead, which seemed to take the brunt of the damage as it was both smudged and burnt. He took a few deep breaths, carefully sliding the book into his backpack. It was fine. It never hurts to start over to look for mistakes. Most of that information has already been taken down.
Taking his usual route home didn’t seem like a good idea. His face was still puffy from crying and he didn’t want his mom to worry more than she already did. He needed time to pull himself together.
He ran on auto-pilot, absentmindedly walking under some underpass he’d never seen before. Izuku couldn’t bring himself to look up, or care that he might have lost his way. Not now, not today of all days.
And when a viscous liquid surrounded his body, restraining his limbs and shoving itself down his throat, he didn’t put up as much of a fight as he should have. He reasonably knew he was going to die, and something about that just couldn’t faze him anymore. The sludge felt cold around him, his fingers trembled.
“Thanks kid! You’re my hero,” The villain grinned, the liquid twisting around his neck to guide his head upwards. It stung worse than any of Kacchan’s burns. Yet, that pain also felt liberating. He was someone’s hero? A hero. His lips weakly formed a small smile. At least this way, the choice was out of his hands.
Right as his vision began to blur, a blast of air violently tore the villain off Izuku’s limp body. He hit the concrete hard, stars flaring behind his eyelids. Izuku gagged, coughing up all of the remaining bits of sludge and grime. Breathing came with extra difficulty. He wasn’t sure he’d even stay conscious. That was, until he turned his head.
“Do not fear, for I AM HERE!” All Might exclaimed boisterously, his fists on his hips. The hero had gathered the sludge villain into a few two-liter bottles, apprehending him before it could finish the job. Izuku gawked, his whole body shaking with questions and other unspoken expressions of admiration. He scrambled to grab his notebook, finding that the man had already given him an autograph. Tears sprung to his eyes. What had he been thinking? How could be a hero like All Might if he just laid here and died?
“Wait-!” Izuku shouted as All Might turned to leave. He had to know. He just had to. His whole life he’d been asking this question. If anybody could answer it, it would be All Might: the Number One Hero. All of his fighting led up to this moment.
Despite his pleas, the hero shot off into the air. Without an ounce of self-preservation, he latched onto the hero’s leg, desperately holding on so he wouldn’t fall. The hero yelled at him; Izuku didn’t hear what he said. His mind had become a mess of static and fuzz. He wouldn’t fall apart yet, he’d already picked up his pieces enough for one day. Not today, not today of all days.
As All Might landed, Izuku pushed past the sickness washing over him. He listened with masked horror as the man revealed his secret. As he told the boy the story, as he explained his limitations. Selfishly, he thought about the similarities. If the Number One Hero could save people despite his handicap, then Izuku could too.
“Can I… Can I be a hero… even without a quirk?”
The silence swallowed Izuku’s hope entirely. All Might turned to look at the boy, the only emotion in his eyes being pity. No, please don’t say..
“I’m sorry my boy,” He sighed, his few words already shattering Izuku’s heart. His idol, the man he’d looked up to his entire life. The person who inspired him to want to be a hero despite what everyone else saw in him. A burden. “I’m afraid it’s just not realistic. Even with a quirk, being a hero is extremely dangerous…”
Whatever All Might said next didn’t matter, not to Izuku, not anymore. His entire world crumbled around him, and long after the hero abandoned him on that roof, he couldn’t pick those pieces up. Izuku felt sick. And God Damn it! He really couldn’t afford to be. He took a step forward, his mind so filled with static there wasn’t room for anything else. Today of all days, all of this shit had to happen today.
He laughed. Ridiculously, loudly, he laughed until his fit of laughter turned into a collection of sobs that tore themselves free from his tightening throat. Suddenly, the ‘deep down’ couldn’t hold all of his pain anymore. Every insult, every beating, everything he’d pushed past to get through the day was suffocating him. Izuku just wanted everything to stop.
Take a swan dive off the roof, and pray for a quirk in your next life!
You’re my hero!
That wouldn’t have been enough, any other day. Right now, however, would prove to be a different story. Bright red shoes sat in front of the ledge, beat up and worn. His mom had saved up for months to buy them for his birthday last year, he didn’t have the heart to ruin them.
Izuku heaved his body over the railing, sitting with his feet dangling in the air. He had to be a few thousand feet in the air. There would be no coming back from a drop like that.
I’m afraid it’s just not realistic…
What counted as realistic when he didn’t have a quirk? He’d known for a very long time that being quirkless meant being less than everyone else. He just hadn’t realized how far behind he was. What was even left for him in a world so cruel?
Then Izuku thought of his mom, how hard she worked to provide for him. This would break her heart. His heart pounded against his ribs. He couldn’t do this to her, he wouldn’t dare. Not today of all days. Because nine years ago today, his father had deemed him useless. Nine years ago today his father left his mother to take care of him. Izuku wasn’t so selfish as to waste all of her hard work. Even if it meant suffering just a little longer.
“...I’m so sorry,” He sobbed, standing on the ledge. The skyline was pretty from this high up, he could see all of Mustafu. Izuku smiled, suddenly feeling incredibly relieved that he hadn’t taken his old friend's advice.
There is something to be said about fate, and how it works in mysterious ways. Izuku had one foot in the air, ready to step down from death's door, when a massive explosion erupted a few blocks down. One flinch sealed his fate. His whole body jumped from the shock of the sound, and before he could catch himself, his weight brought him down. The ledge seemed to disappear from under his feet.
Falling wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. Falling hundreds of feet however, felt like flying. Izuku watched as time seemed to freeze, the edge of the roof growing farther and farther away. He felt his heart shatter, his tears falling much slower than he was. He’d chosen life, and yet the world had to take that away from him too. The boy closed his eyes, because he wanted to envision that beautiful sunset instead of the infastructure surrounding him.
His body met the sidewalk with such force it broke most of the bones in his body, not that he would know. For Izuku Midoriya died on impact, with a smile on his face.
-
Of course, that wouldn’t be all. The world would prove cruel and relentless once again. Izuku Midoriya would not get a funeral. He would not get put in the ground, and his mother most certainly wouldn’t give a damn eulogy.
Because out of all of the quirks he could have gotten, of course he was given this one.
“You have got to be kidding me… This isn’t possible!” Izuku whispered in horror as he hugged his upper arms. Clinging on to the feeling of presence he had. As much as he wanted to deny it, this was real.
He froze as he pulled his hands away from his body, shaking his head in denial. Bile sat heavily on his tongue. If he had anything to throw up, he would have.
He looked to the sky for answers, tears already threatening to fall. Why couldn't he be granted this one thing?
Izuku growled, he’d cried far too much today. With a shaky hand, he pulled himself off the ground. It seemed to still be evening, so he must not have been out very long.
His vision blurred as he tried to take a step, his whole body running cold. This wasn’t a concussion, he’d had plenty of those. Izuku tried to take a deep breath, his lungs crying in protest.
Another loud boom brought him pause. Up on the roof, he wasn’t in a state of mind to recognize those signature explosions. The very same ones that tormented some of his worst nightmares. Izuku contemplated turning tail and running away from the source. After all that K- Bakugou had done to him, did he really deserve Izuku’s help?
In the end that question didn’t even matter. Izuku didn’t harbor that ability to ignore another’s suffering. He shook like a leaf as he ran towards the sound, his breathing erratic and frenzied. All of his senses were flailing, everything seeming too bright and loudloudloud… gods it was so loud. Even the sounds of his socks hitting the ground were amplified, his gasps for air giving him a headache. Let him be okay.
When Izuku arrived on the scene, chaos had already ensued. Death Arms stood in front of the crowds, trying to keep the civilians from danger. Kamui Woods was helping keep them safe, not having a suitable quirk for dealing with this. He couldn’t focus on them, his dizzy mind clearing up for the split second it took to spot his childhood friend in the hands of the sludge villain.
Had he looked so helpless when that villain gripped him so tight? As Izuku looked into those crimson eyes, frenzied and wet, he knew he couldn’t just stand there. It didn’t matter if he didn’t have a quirk, which apparently he did, he wouldn’t let Bakugou die here. Without hesitation, he snatched a nearby woman's purse. Shouting out an apology, he bolted past the heroes who’d done nothing to help. They yelled at him, but he was too far gone to hear it.
Please, let this work.
Izuku chucked the purse at the only solid part of the sludge he could see: the villain's eye. With an infuriated wail, it released its hold on Bakugou’s upper body. Izuku grabbed the boy’s wrist, pulling with the little strength he had. He gasped as his heart began to burn from the rate it was beating, his vision spotted with black polka dots.
Fortunately, the blonde was able to pick up Izuku’s slack, tearing free from the sludge villain’s grasp. They both ran for their lives. Izuku stumbled, his whole body strangely fatigued, and fell.
The villain snatched him by the ankle, attempting to take him once again. He'd get to finish the job, only Izuku didn't get his reprieve then either.
The villain didn’t succeed, All Might appearing and unleashing a blast so powerful it changed the air pressure. Droplets of rain fell across his face, making him colder than he already was.
Izuku went numb, unable to muster up the adoration he held for the hero before. While the number one hero had just been honest, Izuku still felt that sharp pain of rejection.
Death Arms made sure to scold Izuku for his actions, telling him how reckless and suicidal his behaviour was. Izuku simply stared at him, his lack of an expression unnerving. Suicidal? None of the heros were doing anything! If he hadn’t interfered, Bakugou would have…
He sighed in annoyance, having been given the all clear to leave. Deeming it too risky to get checked by the paramedics, he had dodged all of their attempts. Who knew what was wrong with his body now that he’d… Izuku froze. How could he have forgotten that? He died. He’d been dead. Yet, there wasn’t any evidence other than his own mind. So maybe he had just daydreamed it all. Of course, that made much more sense than having some absurd immortality quirk.
-
Izuku’s socks had a variety of holes in them when he took them off in his room. His mom hadn’t gotten off work yet, which wasn’t too unusual. He gazed at the empty apartment, then at the kitchen. In his day-long daze, he hadn’t eaten lunch. The boy furrowed his brow, his stomach still protesting even the idea of a granola bar. When was the last time he ate? Did he even remember?
Groaning in frustration he ultimately decided to just skip this one last time, at least until his hunger returned. Izuku sat on the couch, idly picking up the remote. For the next few minutes, he flipped through the channels. Honestly, he didn’t care much about what he watched, but he’d rather be entertained after the day he had. As he neared the point of giving up, he found himself paused on the news channel.
His eyes went wide, his lips parted as he went speechless. Every part of his body went still. This couldn’t be happening, there was no world so cruel as to do this. Izuku fell off the couch as he tried to get closer to the TV. The screen burned his eyes from the brightness, yet he couldn’t even blink as he watched the broadcast. Out of everything he’d gone through today, this took the cake.
“...Mom…?” Izuku whispered so quietly he could barely hear it. The camera panned over Mustafu general hospital, half of the building completely destroyed.
In a disastrous battle between Endeavor, Mt. Lady, and some unknown villain, the flame hero had hit his ally with a large bout of fire. Consequently knocking her into the building. He longed to grab the phone and call his mom, to make sure she was alive. He didn’t have to.
“..four have been found dead. One nurse and three patients. It is fortunate that this wing of the hospital has been under renovation. The scale of casualties surely would've been disastrous..”
“You’ve been working a lot lately..” Izuku hummed softly, his head on his mother’s shoulder. They were watching one of the first All Might movies, part of the marathon they had every other month. He felt awful for keeping his mom up, her shifts had been growing longer lately. She’d insisted that she didn’t mind, smiling her signature smile reserved for him.
“I know Izu,” She acknowledged sweetly, setting her cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table, “they’re moving the PT unit to the west wing. They need me there to set up the area for the patients.”
“It sounds like a lot of work, are you sure you aren’t tired?”
“I am, but I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
As reality came tumbling down like a tower of cards, he didn’t utter a word. His mind, that had run so fast, came to a screeching halt.
Why did it have to be him who had this quirk? She shouldn't have… She wouldn't have been there if not for him, and how much he cost. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.
Izuku dropped the remote, screaming in a fit of grief and rage that shook the walls. He bent over his knees, trying to hide from a world cruel enough to take her away.
Today, of all days, Inko Midoriya died on impact, longing to hold her son.