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Chef's Envy, Swordsman's Delight

Summary:

You're horny and your boyfriend Zoro is just the person to help you with that.
He prioritizes fucking with Sanji (figuratively) over fucking you (literally) initially, but comes around.

F!Reader x Zoro.

Check tags to see if you're comfortable with this stuff.

Notes:

TLDR: First time actually properly writing smut. Very shy about it. So the initial version had "author's notes" littered all over it, which were trying way too hard to be funny and ruined the pacing of the story to no end. Good experience to make, terrible to read. I'm fixing the decisions my sleep-addled brain made at 6 AM and deleting the author's notes from this.

Chapter 2 is the original draft of the story with said author's notes - in case you're interested in reading that, for some reason.

I don't like the consistency and characterization of the characters in their dialogue here, it just doesn't scream ZORO and SANJI enough, if you get me. Gonna have to work through this again in the future and see if I can fix this. (e.g.: I made Zoro sound smart by using a fancy word. He doesn't really give me big word vibes.)

Update: 10/12/24: Fixed some of the stilted dialogue.

Chapter 1: Version 2.0

Summary:

You're horny and your boyfriend Zoro is just the person to help you with that.
He prioritizes fucking with Sanji (figuratively) over fucking you (literally) initially, but comes around.

Actual smut and not cheaping out of it for once.

Art by me using pencils and charcoals!

Chapter Text

 

Zoro w sword

 

 

Arriving at your beloved swordsman's quarters, you head inside and jump straight into his bed, even with all of your clothes on. You push off your shoes using your feet and breathe in the scent of your beloved clinging to the sheets. It smells of light sweat, booze and an odour that can only be described as mossy.

You hear footsteps approach and position yourself seductively on the bed, spreading out your legs and angling both arms for your wrists to be above your head. 

As Zoro enters, he doesn't seem particularly surprised or impressed by either your presence or posture. "Oh, hey. You're here. Was wondering where you were." 

He's entirely unfazed as he moves to his wardrobe to change into something more comfortable, exchanging his fancy fighting attire with more comfortable sweatpants and a hoodie that you yourself gifted to him. He's not a man of many words or much openly shown affection, but he tries to wear that very hoodie every single time you spend the night with him, as a silent token of gratitude for the gift you had given him. Or maybe he just can't afford new clothes because Nami keeps him in a near-permanent state of bankruptcy. You're not perfectly sure. 

You pout a little. "Oi, marimo. Don't just ignore me." You spread your legs a little further, trying to entice him. 

Zoro, however, looks straight at your face, probably not even thinking there's any meaning to your subtle movement. "What do you mean, don't ignore you? You're the one that didn't reply just now." 

Your frown deepens. You sigh and get up, stepping up in front of Zoro, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I was trying to posture in a seductive way for you, babe." 

Zoro's eyes widen slightly. "Oh. Right. Was wondering why you'd be laying there in such an uncomfortable position." 

You pull yourself up on your arms to wrap your legs around Zoro's waist. "Come on, babe. I could use some of that Yontoryu" [Four sword style] 

Zoro cocks an eyebrow. "Yontoryu. Really? Don't tell him I said this, but I think even stupid eyebrows is more talented than you when it comes to this whole foreplay thing."

You stick your tongue out at him. "Wow. At least I'm trying. You're just standing there insulting me. Come on. I've got a lotta pent up energy I wanna spend with you. Humor me? Please?" 

Zoro's face suddenly shifts into one of his shit-eating grins. "Oh, pent up energy, you say? Sounds like someone needs to stop avoiding their training sessions with me." 

You had been avoiding those at every opportunity, because Zoro was certainly a beast during training and you preferred to keep your limbs and muscles free from aches and pain. 

You wave your hands defensively, smiling nervously. "Ah! No, no, no, purely sexual energy. I, uh, went swimming today. Trained plenty during that. Great cardio and everything."

While you had swum, you'd really just messed around in the water and messed around with Nami a bit rather than actually doing any serious training. Messing around in the water like a happy dolphin, messing around with Nami as in kissing her. Which she'd charged you heavily for. Being nakama does not save you from being financially exploited by the orange-haired devil.

Zoro chuckles and grins. "Alright, alright. Can't neglect my own girlfriend now, can I?" He moves his hands to hold you up by your ass cheeks, squeezing them softly. His face moves closer and closer to yours as he smirks. "Love seeing you this needy. It's a good look on you." 

Impatiently, you reach up to kiss him hungrily. You hate the way he toys with you. Normally, when you're both in the mood and on a somewhat equal level of horniness, he'd never do that. But now that it's a bit of an imbalance and you're desperate to feel him he is more than happy to drag things out and make you all the more needy and desperate for him. 

Bastard that he is, he pulls his head back just a bit. He gives you another signature grin. "Oi, calm down there, needy. Lemme grab some condoms first." Continuing to lift you up with only one arm now, he uses the other one to rummage through his drawer. He's humming contently while he does so, keeping you in suspension for even longer. 

When he still hasn't found any after a while, you bite into his shoulder, mouth out-stretched. It's not meant to hurt... much, but it's more painful than a normal lovebite would be. 

Zoro quirks an eyebrow and smirks at you, clearly not having felt much of that. "Are you getting impatient there, needy? We must have used up my supply, there's none left." You glance down at the dresser and in the corner of the drawer you see countless packs of condoms laying there. You're about to protest when Zoro suddenly starts walking out of the room, still holding you up with one arm as he makes his way somewhere determinedly. 

You protest: "What are you doing? There were totally condoms in that drawer! Where are you even going right now?!" 

Zoro gives you another one of those grins you loathe and love so much simultaneously. "You'll see." 

He pushes open the door to someone's cabin shortly thereafter. The fact that he doesn't knock can only mean one thing - we're in Sanji's cabin. Zoro always makes a point of trying to find Sanji in embarassing situations to make fun of him and have more fuel for their bickering later. 

Surely enough, Sanji's currently laying on his bed flat on his stomach, reading through the newspaper. Or wait.... that's not a newspaper! The pages are full to the brim with naked women! 

Zoro laughs heartily as he notices. "Oi, curly brows. So little luck with the ladies that you need to pay for pictures of them now?" 

Sanji startles at the sudden intrusion to his room and quickly closes the newspaper-looking magazine. He grimaces and immediately bites back. "Nonsense. I'm just... studying the haute couture. That's all. Nothing you would understand, mosshead."

Zoro's grin widens at the weak excuse. "Oh, I understand. I have the hot coter here in my arms, though." Zoro's pronounciation of the french term is so painfully wrong that you're pretty certain he's doing it on purpose to rile Sanji up.

You look a little embarassed as you glance between the two, all too aware of you still clinging onto Zoro like a koala. "Uh, thanks, babe. You can let me down, now?" 

Zoro shakes his head and grins at you. "Nah. I'm gonna help you with all that sexual energy you said you had pent up. But first..." He turns to look at Sanji again. "Say, her and I have been so busy that I've completely run out of condoms. Mind giving me some of yours? Not like you'll need them anyways." 

So that's why Zoro lied to you about not having any. He just wanted to rub his success with you into Sanji's face. Which, judging by the deep shade of red that Sanji's face is assuming, seems to be working rather well.

Granted that you have a pair of tits, Sanji has swooned over you from the get-go, ever since you joined the crew. He was utterly devastated and tried to talk you out of it when you started to date Zoro, oftentimes found in a corner batting his fist against the planks on the floor, going on about how it "just wasn't fair".

Sanji finalls finds his words and scowls at Zoro. "Asshole. I have plenty of use for my condoms, thank you very much. Unlike you I don't flaunt my success in other people's faces. I'm much more of a gentleman than that."

He huffs out of his nose, then addresses you. "Y/N, please. Can't you see how much of a boorish brute he is? You deserve so much better. You deserve a knight in shining armor, someone who will spoil you and present you with the nicest meals and gifts on a silver platter, day and night, making you happy for all eternity..." 

As Sanji rambles on and on, getting lost in his daydream, Zoro just heads over to his dresser and grabs a handful of condoms. He turns to leave, grinning and saying "Thanks!" with a small wave over his shoulder. 

You can hear Sanji yelling after the two of you: "MOSSHEAD! I NEVER SAID YOU COULD TAKE THOSE! GET BACK HERE YOU OVERGROWN ALGAE!" 

 

 

 

Zoro smirks and gives you a kiss on your forehead. "You can be damn happy that I'm your man and not that lovesick waiter." 

You giggle and kiss him directly. "Oh, I am. I'm very happy I've got you, and not Sanji. I'd never trade you two for anything in the world." 

Really you're not that against Sanji despite thinking he's ludicrous and unintentionally hillarious with how weird he gets, but you know just how much Zoro loves to get his ego stroked by having Sanji talked down by you.  

Zoro hums happily. "That's my girl." He reciprocates the kiss, his tongue pushing into your mouth, exploring eagerly.

Zoro has made his way back to his room with you, and as you get there he puts you down on the bed before him. He smirks. "Alright, now's the time for your leg spreading. But maybe take off your clothes this time. Kinda helps." 

You giggle excitedly, too happy to finally have your beloved with you than to care about anything else. Taking your pants off while laying on the bed is slightly awkward, and you end up wriggling around like a worm undignifiedly as you do so. 

Zoro, however, does not move away from his position hovering over you, seemingly enjoying your struggle. "Need a bit of help there, needy?" 

You grunt in frustration but nod and with one swift motion Zoro's hands have dragged your pants down, throwing them away into the corner of the room. He growls possessively and moves to hover over you on the bed, slowly ascending his head from down at your feet to straight above your panties. There's a wild glint in his eyes, an energy not entirely dissimilar to the bloodlust he can get into when cutting down enemies. 

Goosebumps start to form on your body as you stare into his eyes full of primal, unbridled power. He's holding perfectly still, looking from your panties up to your face and back down again, as if asking for permission. 

You sigh, wishing he didn't love doing this so much, as Zoro leans down and grabs the fabric of your panties with his teeth, tearing on it carefully so the strings won't cut into your flesh painfully, but hard enough for the fabric to start tearing.

Initially you'd still kept count and reminded him of him owing you plenty of panties, but at this point you've given up entirely. Some days you wonder if you should even wear any underwear at all anymore, but when you see the look in Zoro's eyes as he rips it apart with his teeth, you know that you wouldn't want to get in the way of his display which has become something of a ritual between the two of you. 

You buck your hips into him slightly, bringing your barely-still clothed skin in contact with his mouth directly. The touch elicits a soft moan from you, and it seems to heighten Zoro's desire too. He rips the rest of the panties away with one quick tear, seeming too eager to want to bother any longer. 

Without much preface he dives right into your folds, doing long licks from the bottom to the top, enjoying just how wet you are for him. 

As his tongue flicks in and out of you he smirks up at you and pauses. "Ah. You're such a treat. Could do this all day." 

True to his word, he dives right back in, his tongue now starting to focus on your highly sensitive bundle of nerves. You moan with wanton need, wanting more, more, more. 

Zoro snakes his arms under your legs to be able to grab onto your hip as he holds you still, your squirming making it more difficult for him to pleasure you well. You're unable to squirm any further against the power of his raw strength, and there's something in the way he's got you held down, unable to escape his licks over your clit and the constant oral stimulation coming your way that drives you wild. 

You moan, bucking into him again, trying to press his head even deeper into your folds as you try and use your hands to push his head deeper against you. 

Zoro grins and moves his head back to look at you proper, the strength of your hands completely irrelevant to him. "You like that, yeah? You taste so damn good, Y/N. So damn good. Maybe I'll just eat you out all day.", he adds with a wink, knowing just how desperate you are to have him inside you, to fill you and stretch you.

You groan. "Ugh. This is... so nice.... but please... don't leave me here all needy, babe." 

Zoro smirks and starts sucking on your clit, popping it in and out of his mouth ocassionally, holding eye contact with you while he does so. "Oh yeah? Why not? You're enjoying this. Bet I can make you come just by this." 

You moan loudly at his new sucking motions, whimpering quietly, wishing you could feel him inside you already. "Agh, Zoro, please. Please, I need you. Don't torture me so."

Zoro chuckles. "So needy, as always. That's my girl. Say it. Say what you want."

You bite back an unnecessary bit of shyness and embarassment as you confess. "Please, Zoro. I desperately want you to fuck me. I want to feel you stretching out my tight pussy and having you take me with all your strength like you always do." If he ever did take you with his full strength, you'd probably snap in half. But he still pretends he does just to make you happy and let you be proud of yourself.

Zoro growls eagerly. "God, the things you do to me. I'm gonna give you everything you want and need. I'm gonna take good care of you, needy girl." He moves upwards, his face now on the same height as yours as he kisses you passionately, your taste still on his lips and tongue.

You eagerly kiss him and he chuckles at your eagerness. "Like your own taste, babe?" 

You grin. "Aye. Sure do. Call me a narcissist." 

Zoro laughs softly. "Nah. It's damn hot is what it is." 

As he keeps kissing you, suddenly you feel a finger slip through your folds, entering you. You gasp in surprise against Zoro's open mouth, a gasp that quickly turns into a moan as Zoro starts fingering you at a steady rhythm. He hums again. "Always so wet for me. Such a good, needy girl."

Your hips buck against him and he takes that as a prompt to enter another finger into you. His pace picks up and so do your moans, getting louder and louder in their intensity and volume. 

Your nails dig into his back as you keep trying to get more of him, whimpering desperately. "Ugh... gods... Zoro, please. Please fuck me already. Please, I'm begging you. Need you.... so bad...." 

Zoro takes that as a prompt to speed up a bit more, curdling his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that makes black spots appear in your vision from the pleasure alone. 

"Yeah? You need it that badly, baby? Well, I can't wait to fuck you raw myself. But I do enjoy watching you squirm... Hm." 

His quick pace is maddening as you keep moaning against him, wishing he'd just finally get his dick out and start pounding into you. While his fingers are much thicker than yours, they don't hold a candle to the length and girth of his member. 

You whimper desperately once more. "P-Please, babe. Please. Need you. Or I'll- I'll come soon without even...:" 

Zoro chuckles. "You'll come soon? Good. Ride it out and then once you're ready, I'll fuck you. Promise." 

You groan in frustration, pouting like a spoiled child. "Please just fill me, darling. Need to feel you inside me so bad." 

But Zoro is relentless, adding a third finger which he rapidly pushes in and out of your pussy. 

True to your word, you can't hold on for much longer, coming on his fingers as your body shivers with pure, raw pleasure, your toes curdling, a comfortable pulsing sensation spreading throughout all of your body straight from your core. 

Zoro growls, clearly loving the sight of you like this. "So damn gorgeous when you're all blissed out. And you're all mine." He kisses you again, more tenderly this time, not wanting to overwhelm you right after riding out that powerful orgasm. 

He waits for a few moments, allowing you to calm down and normalize your breathing again. Eventually you manage to look at him again, groaning softly. "Gods, Zoro. Love you so much. You're so fucking good to me." 

Zoro just smirks. "Don't thank me yet. We're far from done, babe." He kisses you once more, before adding in a softer tone. "Love you too. Even if you're super needy." 

You huff and stick your tongue out at him. "You love me because I'm super needy. But for you, and only for you." 

Zoro cocks his head slightly. "I know. So, you ready for round two, babe?" 

You nod eagerly. "Hell yeah. Give it to me." Your eyes sparkle at how happy you are with your kinda-pun, and Zoro rolls his eyes in response. 

"You're ridiculous. How can you be so sensual and so corny at the same time?" 

You shrug. "Eh. Being awesome just comes with the territory. Sorry, what did you say?" 

Zoro snorts and moves closer on top of you. Out of the corner of your eye you can see him holding his painfully hard cock in his hand. "Such a smartass." 

You grin broadly and start to say: "But I'm YOUR smart-", as suddenly you are cut off. 

You let out a startled half-scream, feeling Zoro thrust himself into you up to the hilt in one swift motion.

You find yourself clinging onto his back tightly as you try and adjust to the sudden intense feeling of being stretched out to the extreme without much preparation. 

Zoro holds still, letting you adjust, murmuring softly. "You good, babe?" 

You nod faintly. "Yeah. Fuck. Don't do that." 

Zoro snickers. "But it's so much fun." 

You want to growl, but are cut off once more, as he starts to move inside you. You've never felt this full with any other partner you've ever had, and it's the closest thing to heaven you'll ever get to experience while alive. 

You keep holding onto him tightly, pulling his back and shoulders closer towards you, making him grunt with the strain of holding up a weird pose with his arms while still fucking you with plenty of strength behind his thrusts. 

But frankly, you don't care right now. You need him. You need him to keep filling you up like this, making you feel completed, making you feel like this is what life is meant to be like at all times. 

After another bit of adjusting and Zoro slowly moving in and out of you, you move one of your hands lower down his back onto his butt, giving his butt cheek a squeeze to let him know that you're okay with him speeding up now, that you've adjusted enough. This is a signal you've established between the two of you for just this purpose - Zoro simply loves plunging into you straight up with little to no preparation way too much for this to be an uncommon occurence. 

Zoro wastes no time in complying, speeding up immediately, his thrusts long and intense as he loves to almost pull out just to bottom out in the same motion over and over again. The feeling of bottoming out is one of his favourites as he's told you many times, and you're bound to agree with him. 

Before long, Zoro's pace becomes erratic, ocassionally stuttering in his thrusts. His grunts and soft moans have gotten significantly louder, although Zoro never really gets too loud overall. God you wish he did though, his gruff and deep voice is one of the things you love most about him, and hearing him moan is like a choir of angels has come down to fill your body with joy and perverted satisfaction.

You whimper once more. "Ugh, Zoro... getting close..." 

Zoro grunts in response. "Good. Me too. Want you to... to come on this cock for me. Okay, babe?" 

"Y-yeah. I'll come on your cock. You make me feel so good, babe." 

Zoro grunts in satisfaction, his pace still relentlessly fast. "Such a good little pussy. So tight for me. So warm and tight to stretch out. Gonna fill it up entirely with my cum." 

Your moans have gotten louder and louder, especially once Zoro's hand finds your clit and starts rubbing it, bringing the amount of your pleasure to new heights. You moan almost desperately as you're getting closer and closer to your second orgasm, whimpering. "Ahhhhh.... fuck.... Zoro.... can't hold.... back anymore.... Ughh...." 

Zoro growls against you. "Good. Don't hold back. I want your pussy to squeeze me, babe. So fucking hot."

Your moans reach a fever pitch as you cry out his name "AH! ZORO! FUUUUUUU-!" 

Zoro grunts as your pussy walls clench his cock tightly. "Yeah, that's-." He cuts off as he starts coming too, thick white strands of cum painting your walls white, filling you to the brim with his seed. 

Your body is randomly convulsing and pulsating, riding the high so blissfully you don't even hear Zoro the first time. 

He laughs as he pants, totally out of breath too. "I said you're really fucking hot when you bliss out." 

You grunt. "And you're always hot." You can't really be bothered and don't have the energy for witty banter right now, and neither does he. He keeps holding himself up by his arms to not crush you underneath him for a while longer before rolling over and laying on his side, facing you, as he pulls you in. 

He hums contently. "Gah, you're perfect. So perfect for me." He nuzzles his head into your hair, breathing in the scent happily, his breathing slowly starting to calm down. 

 

Yours does too, albeit a bit slower - you feel like you've just run a pleasure marathon, even though you've certainly had longer sessions with Zoro before. Maybe you should train more so your stamina can match Zoro's better. 

Great minds think alike, and so Zoro remarks while chuckling: "Now, you know, if you just trained with me...." 

You shut him up with a kiss. "Ugh. I'm spent, babe. No thoughts of training. Only happy thoughts right now." 

Zoro smirks cockily "Training IS happy thoughts, babe. You just need to realize that." 

You groan and snuggle against his broad chest. "Idiot. Leave me alone with your training. Sex burns enough calories too." 

Zoro sighs. "That's not why I want to train you, and you know it. You gotta be able to defend yourself, babe." He glances away shortly before looking back at you. "But that doesn't matter right now. Not gonna ruin our blissful moment. Love you, babe." 

You shrug it off and reply promptly: "Love you too, babe." 

 

You fall asleep together happily in one another's arms right there and then. 

 

As you wake up the next morning you groan inwardly as you realize that once again Zoro had paid more attention to messing with Sanji than actually using one of the condoms he'd taken from the other man. This certainly isn't the first time this has happened and it definitely won't be the last time either. But then again... you're not completely against happy little accidents. The strawhat crew are your nakama and your family, and you don't feel the slightest hint of doubt within yourself that adding to said family would be anything but joy and happiness. And countless sleepless nights and dirty diapers. But mostly happiness. 

 

You sigh as you look down at your beloved swordsman's sleeping form beside your own, his expression an image of joy and innocence in his sleep. You lean forward and press a tender kiss on his forehead, deciding that maybe today you'll actually train with him to be able to keep up better the next time the two of you have sex. 

 

 

THE END