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1. Celina's Discovery
As Celina moved into her new apartment, she had a lot of boxes, cartons, and bags of things that needed to be moved from her car to the new apartment she would be sharing with Lucy, a coworker from work.
"Is there still a lot left?" she heard Nolan's voice from the hallway, who had offered to lend the girls a helping hand.
"No, thanks John, we should be able to manage now," Lucy replied. "Maybe I'll walk you to your car and bring up the last carton while Celina starts unpacking in the meantime." Lucy's suggestion made sense, so Nolan quickly said goodbye to Celina, wishing her good luck in her new apartment, and went with Lucy to the parking lot.
Celina was extremely grateful to everyone; many people from the station had helped make her move easier, including Nolan taking a day off, Grey allowing her to swap shifts with another officer on patrol, and Aaron, who swapped shifts with her after the accident with Hobbes who firstly was supposed to do that. The girl sighed, finally feeling like she belonged somewhere. Everyone was incredibly helpful and eager to assist; she could count on them in every aspect, even now, with a few packages of Thai food left on the counter that Nyla and Angela had brought a few hours earlier to make the task of moving boxes from the parking lot to the apartment more pleasant. Celina started moving them into her new room, which was currently painted a soft pink with a fluffy, round beige rug covering the floor. She began to move boxes into her room and looked out the window to see if Lucy was still talking to Nolan downstairs. Seeing that her new roommate was still talking with their coworker, she hurried to the other side of the apartment. She knew she shouldn’t enter Lucy’s room and invade her space, but Chen had mentioned wanting to cleanse her space after breaking up with Tim, so Celina took a neutral-scented herbal incense and began to gently walk around the wooden floor of Lucy’s bedroom. She walked slowly around the room, making gentle circular motions with her hand to spread the scent throughout the room, trying to clear the space of negative energy when suddenly she felt a strange, compelling energy coming from under her bed. She knew that going through Lucy’s private belongings wasn’t right and that the girl might get really upset with her and even ask her to move out, but at that moment, she felt compelled to see what was under her roommate’s bed.
"What is this?" she asked quietly to herself as she reached under the bedframe. She touched a heavy box that, when pushed, slid further under the bed. Celina lay down on the floor and grabbed the mysterious box, which had obviously been hidden there for some time. On the top of the box, written in red marker, was the name Lucy Chen, and underneath in smaller print was written "Open me when you need help." Curious, Celina gently opened the box, not wanting to damage anything inside. The box was filled with yellow envelopes, each labeled with small letters, each addressed to a new occasion, starting with "Read me when" and offering various possible events or emotions Lucy might be experiencing and needing help interpreting. Celina sighed with a smile. From the beginning, she had seen how deeply Tim and Lucy cared for each other, their energies complementing each other, and their aura having the same golden hue. The girl thought for a moment. The box didn’t look like it had been opened before, so she assumed Lucy had no idea it existed. She wasn’t sure how she should act or whether she should tell her roommate about its existence. She quickly hid the box back under the bed and got up from Lucy’s floor. Knowing Lucy would be back in their apartment soon, she decided to quickly slip back to her own room.
"I’m back! How’s it going?" she heard Lucy call from the kitchen a moment later. She was relieved that she had managed to get back to her room without getting caught in her older roommate’s room.
"Slowly," she laughed while unpacking another box. Celina couldn't stop her thoughts. Should she mention the boxes? Maybe Lucy knows about them? But what if she doesn't want to talk about it? Juarez decided to take the risk. She had never been good at lying, and she knew that living under the same roof made it much easier to open up than just passing each other in the corridors of the precinct.
"Lucy? Can I ask you a personal question?"
"I can’t promise I’ll answer, Celina, but I’ll try. Did something happen?"
"I know I shouldn’t ask this, but…," Celina tried to gather her thoughts. "Did you ever want some kind of explanation from Tim about why you broke up? What was it all about?"
Lucy blinked a few times. Celina felt really bad for asking such an awkward and very personal question of her new colleague.
"You know, it’s not that simple," Lucy began calmly, offering Celina a comforting smile. "From a psychological perspective, of course, I’d like some sort of closure, but I can’t expect that from him right now; it was his decision, and I have to accept that he might not be ready to give me that closure. I don’t know if you know, but he was the one who broke up with me and didn’t even let me say anything on the matter, but I know he had good intentions. I’d be a bit afraid of closure because…" She began to speak, visibly struggling not to abandon her thought. "…because I’m afraid of getting closure, because then there’s no chance of a return, and I’m not ready to give up that last bit of hope and say goodbye forever to the thought of creating something more with him than just a friendship."
Celina approached her colleague and gently hugged her, seeing her eyes slowly filling with tears. She knew she had to help her somehow, but in her thoughts, one question kept swirling: "Should I tell Lucy about the existence of the box from Tim?"
2. Celina Asks Nolan About the Situation
A few days later, during an unexpectedly quiet and peaceful moment on patrol, Celina gathered the courage to ask her TO a question that had been troubling her.
"Nolan, can I ask you a personal question? You just have to promise me complete discretion because it doesn’t strictly concern me," Celina began hesitantly.
"Sometimes I’m afraid of your questions; they’re so unpredictable," John began with a light laugh. "I assume it’s nothing illegal?"
"No, no, don’t worry," the girl replied hastily. "It’s about Lucy."
"Don’t tell me you’re having trouble living with her," Nolan began, surprised, measuring his rookie with his gaze.
"Lucy is amazing; every day when I start work later than her, she makes me breakfast, sometimes gives me her bath bombs, lets me analyze horoscopes, and finally, I found someone who likes candles as much as I do! It’s not that at all," she assured quickly. "It’s just that I did something unthoughtful that might affect her, but I don’t know if I should tell her about it."
"I’m all ears, Celina. What happened?"
"When Lucy was walking you to your car during the move, I wanted to do her a small favor, and because she once mentioned wanting to clear the bad energy from the apartment, I decided to cleanse the aura in her room," she began to explain, and seeing Nolan nodding encouragingly, she continued. "I felt some strange energy from under her bed, and without going into unnecessary details, I found something that Lucy should see, but I don’t know if she should find out about it from me…"
"About the existence of what, Celina? You’ve said enough that you can tell me everything now," Nolan said, pulling over to the side of the road and glancing at his younger colleague. "I promise you it will stay between us, and I won’t judge you, even though I don’t entirely support what you did."
"I know I shouldn’t have," Celina immediately replied. "I found a box with Lucy’s name on it, and I’m almost certain it’s from Tim. It contained many envelopes, each labeled ‘Open me when’ with various possibilities of situations Lucy might be in."
Nolan nodded in understanding. He knew Tim had changed significantly because of Lucy and their feelings, but he didn’t think he could do something so beautiful for Chen. It only showed how much he loved her and cared about her.
"I understand," he said calmly. "It’s indeed a very delicate matter. Sometimes such personal items can have immense significance for the person they concern, but discovering them without her knowledge can be very risky. I think you should try to approach her on some neutral ground when you feel Lucy is ready to know the truth. She should know. You could suggest that you found something that might be important to her, but without revealing details. That will let her decide if she wants to delve into the matter herself."
Celina smiled, knowing that asking Nolan for help, who, as Lucy’s best friend, knew her best, would give her a concrete and honest answer.
"Thank you, I’ll do that," she replied with a smile.
"Not a problem, Celina, but now we need to get back to work."
3. Celina Confronts Lucy & First List
"Celina, I’ve noticed you’ve been quite quiet lately. Is something wrong? Can I help you in any way? Are you not feeling comfortable here?" An astonished Lucy stood facing the couch where her younger roommate was currently sitting. Celina felt incredibly awkward; she didn’t want Lucy to sense her stress and uncertainty, but her older colleague’s perception and awareness were impossible to deceive.
"Lucy, I think you should sit down because this is definitely not a conversation we can have without a cup of warm tea," her colleague responded.
Lucy looked at her, surprised, but grabbed the kettle on the worktop, prepared two fruit teas, and sat on the other end of the couch, looking expectantly at Celina.
"I know it’s not my business, and please don’t think I’m being intrusive because it wasn’t intentional at all,"
“I think… I think Tim created this,” Celina began, handing the box to her friend, who began to carefully open it. “You don’t have to read them in front of me. What’s inside is only between you and Tim, but if you need me, I’ll be right back. I’ll go freshen up. In the meantime, look at them, read them if you need to, or throw them away or burn them. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you. I’ll be back in ten minutes, take your time,” she said, rising and giving Lucy a reassuring pat on the arm.
Lucy sat upright. Only when she heard the bathroom door close did she return to reality and look at the envelopes. They were all yellow, neatly addressed in Tim's handwriting, intended to help her in various moments of her life. She quickly skimmed through the envelopes and found one labeled, “Open me when you find letters under the bed.”
“Lucy, If you’re holding this letter, it means you’ve found the box hidden under your bed. You might be surprised and upset, but if you read all these letters, I think you’ll understand why I did this. I wasn’t ready to confront you, but writing these words comes much more easily to me. I want to remain in your life, even if I can’t do so physically because things are awkward and uncomfortable between us.
Before you move on to the next letters, I wanted to write this one to explain why I decided to leave these messages. I wanted to give you something that would help you in various moments of your life when you might need support, understanding, or simply a reminder of how much you mean to me. This is still the most important relationship I’ve ever been in, and I want to repay you for all the goodness you’ve shown me. Each letter is a fragment of my thoughts, feelings, and wishes that I wanted you to have forever. If you’ve found these letters, it means you have an open heart and are ready to understand what I wanted to convey. I hope these words will be a source of support, a reminder, or just a nice touch in moments when you need them. You don’t have to reply to them; they’re not meant to make you owe me anything. They are for you, though I wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to throw them away or return them to me because of how childish and selfish I was. No matter what happened and how our paths turned out, you will always be special to me. I believe you’ll find happiness and fulfillment in your life, and these letters will remind you that you are loved and valued. With all my heart, I wish you the very best, Lucy. If you ever have questions or need support, you can always come back to these words. With love, Tim”
Reading the letter, Lucy couldn’t hold back her tears. She carefully folded the paper, not wanting to wet it with her tears, and smiled slightly. Typical Tim. He always knew what to say to evoke specific emotions in her. Encouraged by his words, she started to look through the other envelopes, deciding to follow the advice and read only those letters that related to her current situation. The next envelope was labeled, “Read me when you find a new roommate,” and she opened it gently.
“Chen, I don’t know how much time has passed since you opened the previous envelope, but I hope that after Tamara moved out, you’re not alone and you have someone you can rely on. If you’re reading this letter, I’m probably not your new roommate (Lucy laughed quietly at this part, finding it hard to believe). If I had to guess, I think you’ve moved in with Celina, but maybe I don’t know you as well as I thought, and it could be someone from your karaoke group, though I hope I’m right. Don’t tell her this, she might get too full of herself, but she’s a bright and lovely girl who could become your new friend. I saw how well you two got along, and I know she looks up to you because you’re an inspiration to many young women starting their careers in the police force, and I don’t blame her, Lucy, you’re amazing.
Even though I know you like Lopez and Harper, I think Juarez is good material for a friend. She’ll listen to you and help you where I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Lopez and Harper, though I’ll never tell them, but I think Juarez, instead of pushing you out of your comfort zone, will first listen carefully and help you come to your own solution. Remember, sharing space with someone new is not just an adventure but also an opportunity to discover each other. It’s a great chance to build new connections and create shared memories. Enjoy every moment and make the most of every chance to get to know each other.
May your shared space be filled with laughter, understanding, and warmth. I believe your relationship will grow into something truly beautiful and valuable. I hope you’ll enjoy living together. As a moving-in gift, I’m including a gift card to a store with some good wines. Celebrate this occasion with a nice drink, but don’t you dare come to work hungover.
Always thinking of you, Tim”
4. You can always count on me Lucy
It hadn't been an especially good day, but Lucy couldn’t quite call it the worst. However, when she returned home, tired, her first thought was, “I need to see if Tim made a letter for an occasion like this.” She removed her sneakers and placed them carefully by the cabinet before heading to the kitchen to make herself some hot chocolate and curl up under a blanket on the couch. Since Celina had a later shift today, Lucy had the entire apartment to herself. Excited, she wrapped her legs in the blanket and set a heavy box on top of them. After rummaging through the box for a moment, she eagerly grabbed the envelope she was looking for.
“Open me when you need a friend after a long day at work
Dear Lucy,
I’m assuming you’re reading this letter after a tough day at work, even if it might not have been the worst day ever. But hey, who am I to judge your perspective?
Sometimes we just need to make ourselves a warm drink, curl up under a blanket, eat something comforting, or even let off some steam at the gym. Remember, there’s nothing you can’t handle. Lucy, you are the strongest woman I know—don’t tell Angela and Nyla I said that or they’ll kill me—but it’s true. You’re strong, brave, and courageous. So whatever happened today, I believe tomorrow will bring something amazing that will make today’s troubles seem insignificant.
To lift your spirits, here’s a little story. You might recall how during one morning meeting Grey shared a Halloween story about a certain party. I’m probably going to regret telling this, but if sharing it can make you smile, I’m willing to endure it.
A few years before you joined, my then-recruit Novak—who, by the way, is now a hell of a detective in San Diego, but back then was not too sharp— and I were assigned to a loud and wild college student party. We drove there, and Novak had no idea how to handle the situation. He recognized many of his old friends and didn’t quite know how to interact with them without damaging his relationships. So, even though I wanted to see how he handled these kinds of confrontations, I decided to take control myself.
I left our car, approached the door, and knocked several times. A girl opened it, immediately grabbed my uniform shirt, and started kissing me. You can’t imagine how terrified I was, especially since I was still with Isabel at the time.
She barely stopped kissing me when suddenly several other girls started unbuttoning our uniforms and ripping off the buttons. To cut a long story short, we ended up in our underwear, which they were also trying to remove. Just at that moment, backup arrived with Lopez and Bishop leading the charge, taking many embarrassing photos of me. Novak managed to save his uniform intact, but I had to ride back to the station in nothing but my boxers.
I hope this story warns you to never get assigned to a noisy college party.
Remember, after a bad day, a better one is always on its way. You can always count on me.
Yours,
Tim
Lucy laughed genuinely. She had long wanted to hear that story, but she couldn’t ask Bishop since she no longer worked with them, and Angela was too close to Tim for her to feel comfortable asking his best friend about her ex. Lucy sighed. Today, after work, their whole group was going out for drinks after a rough shift. Lucy knew Tim would be there, and she didn’t want to confront him just yet. Even though both Celina and Aaron had invited her to join them, and Nolan had tried to persuade her through text messages, she didn’t feel it would be a good idea. She looked at the box and saw another matching envelope.
“Read this if you’re sitting at home alone instead of going out for drinks with friends”
“Boot,
I’m so sorry that what I did had such a significant impact on our group’s dynamics. As I write this, I can imagine the disgusted look Nolan will give me if I ever go somewhere where you won’t be but he will.
You might think that this decision was easy for me, but I loved you with all my heart, and that’s not something you can forget or silence overnight. You are the best person I know.
Angela and Nyla are trying to convince me that no one is angry with me for ending our relationship abruptly, without a concrete reason, but I see how they look at you, and it pains them that our relationship also affected yours with them. You can’t even imagine how many times they’ve been angry at me and how many times I wanted to drive to your apartment and beg for your forgiveness. But Lucy, I don’t deserve you, certainly not now when I still have many issues to work through in therapy.
But going back, I’m assuming that if you didn’t go out for drinks and are sitting at home, it’s because of me and our awkward situation—not because I think too highly of myself, but because I know that if Nolan had texted you about a tequila promotion, I don’t think you would have stayed at home for much longer.
If you ever want to go for a drink at the bar in Mid-Wilshire that’s frequently occupied by the police, if you mention your name, your drinks are on my tab. Don’t even try to turn it around and pretend it’s not you. We go there often enough that they’ll recognize us in no time, and don’t even think of paying me for it, Chen. I won’t accept it.
Go out and have a drink, Tim”
Lucy sighed deeply. Tim, as usual, was right, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Why should she deny herself pleasure? Why should she be the one to hold back, when she deserved to take a step forward just like he did? Filled with new energy, she looked into the mirror on her vanity. Luckily, her makeup wasn't smudged, and she didn’t feel unfresh. She slowly approached her wardrobe and opened it wide. She began searching with her eyes, and when she spotted a dark purple dress, she smiled to herself. Holding the dress in her hand, she approached the bed and leaned down to grab her phone. As soon as she picked it up, she clicked on the most recent contact and brought the phone to her ear.
“Hey, are you still at Ray’s?”
-----
“Lucy said she’d join us,” Nolan said, feeling the gaze of the others on him. “To be honest, I didn’t expect it, you all know…” He glanced involuntarily at the sergeant sitting right next to him.
“Maybe I should just go; it’s already…” Tim started nervously, aware that the atmosphere among their friends could be incredibly tense. Bradford realized how the situation was shaping up. Lucy, passing him in the hallway, hadn’t been able to look him straight in the eye, and the cheerful young woman she used to be had turned into a sad and confused girl trying to get back on track.
Angela glanced at him and, seeing his troubled expression, decided to intervene.
“Stop! You can’t keep avoiding each other. I’m not saying either of you is right or wrong, but none of us is choosing sides. You’re both our friends—like it or not—so either you bite the bullet and try to be civil with each other, or maybe one of you should consider moving to North Hollywood Division for a while.”
“Who should move to North Hollywood?” The whole table turned at the sound of a voice coming from the bar. Lucy smiled radiantly, and her friends noticed one thing—she looked almost as radiant as she had before her breakup with Tim.
Tim noticed every little detail: the black purse with its golden chain slightly twisted on her shoulder, the dark purple dress with a delicate neckline that accentuated her figure and ended around the middle of her thigh, and her softly curled chocolate hair cascading around her shoulders and neckline.
“Lucy, beautiful dress!” Bailey tried to draw her attention with a gentle smile, standing up from her chair and lightly hugging her friend.
“Thanks! I bought it a while ago, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it anywhere,” she replied eagerly. “Do you want to come with me to the bar? I’ll order us something to drink, how about that?”
Bailey took a gentle breath and nodded slightly.
“We’ll be right back.” Still holding onto her shorter friend, Nune began leading Lucy toward the bar, quickly trying to fill her in on what had happened before she arrived. “So, John was just telling us…”
----
"Get up, we need to talk" Tim heard from his left side. “Nyla, you too.”
Hearing that tone, Tim wasn’t expecting a pleasant chat, especially since Angela mentioned Harper, who wasn’t known for discussing difficult topics in a detached and calm manner. Tim knew that opposing would only bring him trouble and he would end up arguing with the only people besides his sister who always stood by him. Tim nodded, not taking his eyes off Lucy standing by the bar, who was no longer talking to Bailey but nodding with interest, listening to what the tall, dark-haired man next to her was saying. He knew he had no right to be angry at her, but he couldn’t get rid of the throbbing pain in his chest and the pang of jealousy that it wasn’t him flirting with the attractive brunette.
“Come on, Romeo, we don’t have all evening, James will be here soon, so we need to hurry,” Nyla gently nudged Tim with her shoulder. As soon as the words left her mouth, Tim, slightly distracted, jumped up from his chair and pointed to the exit door, suggesting a conversation outside. He let the two detectives go first and hesitantly followed them towards the parking lot.
“Time for some honesty. Why are you acting like an idiot?”
“Nyla…” Angela began warningly, knowing that Detective Harper could be even more direct after drinking than when sober. Additionally, knowing Tim, an aggressive attack on him would only make him shut down, and the two women wouldn’t get any important information out of him. “But I’m sorry, Tim, I can’t deny it, you’re practically devouring her with your eyes, and while I don’t blame you because Lucy is a beautiful woman and that dress looks like it was made for her, don’t you think it’s inappropriate considering your current relationship? Not to mention, I thought you were going to jump out of your chair and head to the bar as soon as that guy approached and started talking to Chen. What’s going on with you, Tim? I thought you didn’t want to be with her anymore…”
“I never said that,” he whispered quietly. Both women looked at each other in surprise and then turned their gazes back to the man standing with his head down.
“Sorry, repeat that?” Nyla, surprised, raised her eyebrows and moved closer with interest to clearly hear if Bradford continued to whisper so as not to miss even the smallest part of his statement.
“I never said I didn’t want to be with her anymore. I don’t know if I’ll be able to explain to you what drove me. You have to understand, my life fell apart at that moment. Mad Dog… Matt, whom I worked with and I don’t know if you knew this but I liked him, we often trained together and occasionally watched football games, died in front of my eyes. Ray, whom I thought was dead, suddenly appeared in my life and almost ruined my career, taking away my sense of security and stability. I completely turned against my values, put you, Angie, and Lucy at great personal and professional risk. I couldn’t allow myself to continue ruining your lives,” Tim began in a slightly trembling voice. “I didn’t break up with Lucy because I stopped loving her. I broke up with Lucy because I love her too much to ruin her life with my mistakes and problems until I deal with them myself.”
5. The end
“I'm surprised to hear from you, but I won’t hide it—I’m glad to have received your message,” he began with a shy smile, approaching her table. “I didn’t quite understand…”
Before he could get tangled in the disorganized fragments of his thoughts, he glanced at the sunny yellow envelope she was holding in her right hand.
“You found them?” he asked uncertainly as he took a seat across from her. “Lucy, no…”
“Wait. I need you to read something now,” she smiled gently, trying to encourage him. “I’m saying everything in there that I’m not sure I can say in person without a flood of tears and losing my courage. Please read it now.”
Tim couldn’t refuse her. He looked at the light blue envelope Lucy slid across the table toward him, fascinated by the role reversal. Chen nodded expectantly, urging the older man to hurry.
“Dear Tim,
I never thought we would find ourselves in a situation like this, but as you can see, life is unpredictable and full of surprises.
Thank you for all 19 letters. I’ll surprise you—they were all helpful, each one brought me comfort, joy, and understanding, and sometimes tears and solace that were a good substitute for your absence—my best friend. I didn’t expect such a gift.
If it weren’t for Celina, I might never have known about their presence under my bed. I don’t know if you’ll believe me when I say they were found through a strong energy Celina felt, but we can consider that a coincidence or a miracle. I prefer to believe it was the latter.
At first, I was angry with you. You broke up with me without any warning, even though it seemed to me that things were going well between us. I didn’t expect that from you, especially since cutting me off was the last thing you should have done at a time when isolation and loneliness were the last things either of us needed. Not only did I need you, Tim; you needed someone who would selflessly stand in your corner and support you. I wanted that to be me, but your decision made that difficult.
I heard you started therapy. Imagine my surprise when I called my mom to cancel dinner, and she asked me how your first session with Dr. Ovens went. Your email to her moved her deeply, and from what she mentioned before she realized she shouldn’t tell me, it wasn’t the first or only email sent from your account.
I’m proud of you, Tim—not just because you finally went to therapy. You didn’t give up; I knew you wouldn’t, but I’ve never seen you so broken and lost as I did in the elevator, and I hope I never see you that way again.
I talked to Nyla about our last night out at the bar, and don’t be mad at her, but she told me everything—about your confession that you never stopped loving me, your anger at Andy for approaching me at the bar that night, and how you glared at him the whole evening, about the unfulfilled plans you were making for us, and the regret you carry.
It hurts to see you so lost, destroyed, and wounded. Allow yourself to be helped, Tim. Let yourself be saved.
You mentioned that you want to give us another chance. Your deadline was supposed to be the first therapy session from which you would come out feeling no guilt for things beyond your control and the problems of others that you should never have been burdened with. And from what Angela told me three days ago on the phone, that session has already come.
Does that mean that when you lift your gaze from the page now, you’ll give us a second chance by seeing what I’m about to write?
I want to give us a second chance.
I’m not saying I’ll trust you the same way I did ten months ago right away.
I can’t guarantee that I’ll be as trusting and certain. Sometimes I will have bad days, weaker moments, and difficulties adjusting to this situation.
However, I can guarantee you one thing:
I also never stopped loving you, and I’m ready to trust my heart.
I promise to do everything I can to make our love stronger and to ensure you feel confident that you can always count on me.
Let’s try again,
forever and always yours, Lucy.”