Chapter Text
“Come on, Charlie! It will be fun!” Nick encouraged as he began taking clothes from my wardrobe willy-nilly, and putting them in my duffle bag. “If nothing else, we get to hang out for a few days, doing cool activities with no parents around.”
“I’ll take my parents over Harry Greene any day, thank you,” I mumbled into my duvet, still face down on my bed, trying to pretend this wasn’t my reality for the weekend.
I felt the mattress beneath me dip as Nick sat down near my feet.
“Is that what you’re worried about? Harry?”
“Not just Harry. He’s just the worst one.” I admit, turning to face Nick.
“I thought he was okay now? Has he been bothering you again?”
“No, no. He hasn’t. Hell, he even said hello to me in the corridor the other day.” I sat up to face Nick properly. I knew he was excited for this weekend, and I have been trying really hard, as his best friend, not to damper that. But it was now the night before, and my grumpiness could not be hidden. “Just because Harry isn’t a homophobic prick anymore and we get on enough to be on the same rugby team, does not mean I want to spend the weekend with him and his groupies.”
Nick looked at me with a slight furrow of his brow, considering what I’d said.
“I’m sorry, Char. I guess I just got a bit over excited and didn’t think how you might feel about it all.” Nick put his hand on my knee, probably in a comforting gesture but it still felt hot to the touch and I couldn’t think of much else while a part of him was in contact with a part of me. “Let’s not go. We can have our own fun here. Hey, we could still go camping even, just us? Somewhere local, or maybe even just in the back garden.”
This is why I held back up until now. I knew Nick would sacrifice his own fun for me. He really is the best friend one could wish for. Even though he’s smiling at me now, I can see it’s not all genuine. The way it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but he’s still happy all the same. Just not as happy.
Dammit .
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m just being dramatic and grumpy. Hung out with Tao all day yesterday, it rubbed off on me!” I pat his hand that is still on my knee. Was that a weird thing to do? Probably. But if we are being honest, I lose all sense of decorum with Nick and he’s never said anything before, so…
“Are you sure?” Nick asks, and I can hear the hope in his voice.
“Yes! It will be fun. But promise me, no idiots in our tent?”
“Yay!!!!” Nick leapt forward and hugged me, sending me toppling back onto the bed with him joining me. “We are gonna have so much fun, Char!! And, don’t worry. I’ll make sure it’s just me, you, Sai, Chris and Otis in our tent. No knobheads. I promise!”
Nick stayed on top of me while he prattled on in glee, and I was sort of listening, but it was difficult when I was simultaneously trying to keep my cheeks from going full tomato and not react to the delightful feeling of Nick’s weight pressing me into the mattress.
“If you’re quite done, I need to check what you packed in my bag. No offence, but I do not trust your fashion choices.”
“Charlie! You don’t prioritise fashion when you go camping.” Nick chuckled as he pulled me up to standing with one hand. With. One. Hand.
I ignored Nick’s words and turned the dufflebag upside downs to empty its contents. Out spilled one pair of jogging bottoms, one pair of long sleeve pyjamas with dogs on, two t-shirts and two jumpers.
“The dog pyjamas? Really?”
“What? I think they’re cute.”
“That's because you’re a literal golden retriever. I am not wearing pyjamas, with dogs on, to a rugby-team weekend-long school trip.”
Nick didn’t say anything, he looked down at his feet and I could see his ears pinken.
“Nick…” I coaxed. “Did you pack your pyjamas with border collie faces on?”
“Maybe,” Nick muttered.
I laughed a little. Not a teasing laugh, more of an ‘oh my god, you’re so adorable’ laugh. Regardless, wearing sort of matching pyjamas with your bestie was a massive no-no for this occasion.
“And where’s my jeans?”
“Charlie, you cannot wear those ridiculously tight things camping. They aren’t exactly practical.”
“Uh! How dare you. And they are not tight , they are figure hugging. There is a difference.”
“Fine, but they have holes in the knees. Won’t exactly keep you warm.”
Well I couldn’t argue with that. I do run cold, and it is autumn. Ugh, I hate when he’s right.
I put in another pair of jeans that are looser and have no holes – I don’t care what he says, I am a jeans guy, not a jogging bottoms guy. Sportswear is for sports only, in my opinion. That being said, I don’t mind that Nick likes to wear his figure hugging skinny track bottoms on a regular basis. I’m gay and I have eyes… sue me.
Next I take out the jumpers he put in, which are actually his that I have acquired over the year or so we have known each other, and replace them with my own. As in, ones that are actually mine.
“What was wrong with the jumpers I put in?” Nick asked, looking a bit offended.
“Nick, I am not spending my weekend with rugby oaths, half of which assume I have a crush on you, wearing your jumpers.” I said, so matter-of-factly, I was quite proud of myself.
“And since when did you care what other people thought?” Nick questioned suspiciously.
“I don’t, but there’s still no need to add fuel to the fire.”
“Fine, I’ll just put one of these in my bag instead. Then I’ll always have a spare for you to borrow.”
Nick took the green Adidas jumper, which he knew was my favourite, and stuffed it into the top of his bag. He really did make it difficult not to have a crush on him.
I finished packing in record time, folding things neatly unlike the haph-hazzard mess Nick opted for in his own packing. Before we knew it, it was time for tea and then bed. It was going to be a stupidly early start tomorrow. The campsite we were going to was in the lake district, and we had to be at school for 6:30am. With it being such an early time, Nick was sleeping over here so my Dad could take us both in the morning – Sarah was on night shifts at the moment, and likely wouldn’t make it in time to take us.
As we were falling to sleep, me curled up in my bed, Nick sprawled out on the floor mattress below me, I couldn’t help but ruminate over all the things that could go wrong this weekend. It wasn’t just the fact that I’d have to spend time in close proximity to people that, two or three years ago, played an active or passive part in my bullying. Some of the guys were great, and I even considered a few of them real friends. Harry was the worst of course, and even after all of his own inward growth, I would still never consider him a friend. But it wasn’t all of that that scared me most.
It was Nick. Sleepovers like the one we are having now are kind of routine. They are regimented and supervised. But this trip… this trip is going to be a group of 20 boys, split off into large group tents, sleeping closely together, bantering and more than likely playing some sort of masculinity-proving game.
There would be plenty of instances where it may become more obvious to Nick that I actually do have a crush on him. Usually, I can give myself some breathing room from Nick – time to tamper down my feelings, put them back into the box I created and shove it at the back of my mind cupboard. But three whole days of Nick being there, with the added ribbing of our unlikely friendship from the others. And what if the complex doesn’t have private showers?
Nope, not looking forward to that. Maybe I should ask Tori for some makeup to hide all of the blushing I won’t be able to control.