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Katsuki had always heard adults–whether in movies or in the world around him–warn others of how much war can change a person. And like the arrogant brat he was back then, he had completely ignored it.
But now, after knowing full well the distressing hardships and horrors of war with his own two eyes, he wished he could smack his younger self who was so ignorant to think that there was nothing in this world that could ever change him.
There's a lot of things he wished he could go back and do differently. But, alas…
And Katsuki wasn't the only one the war had changed.
As he all but ran down the hallway of the second floor of the dorms behind Tokoyami, he could hear the now familiar terrified screams of the one person who didn't deserve this.
He found Aoyama standing next to his doorway, wide eyed with concern written all over his face. Katsuki wasted no time. “What happened?”
Aoyama looked at him with trepidation, taking a silent breath before he answered. “He had another nightmare.”
“ Fuck !” Katsuki breathed out, feeling his stomach drop. He knew it was the only explanation, but he really wanted to believe that they had finally fucking stopped.
“Again?” He heard Kirishima ask behind him with astonished concern. He, along with Uraraka, came running with him when Tokoyami had frantically knocked on his door. Once they heard, they didn't even think twice about joining him. At this point, Katsuki knew not to argue with either of them anymore.
“Poor Deku.” Uraraka whimpered and Katsuki had to bite back the annoyed growl that wanted to come out.
He sucked his teeth and huffed. “This ain't a show. No reason to crowd around his door like he's some fucking circus act.”
“You're right.” Kirishima said. “It's not very manly to crowd around outside of Midoriya's room. Let's all give him some space.”
In the past, everyone would jump down Katsuki's throat for being so aggressive and claiming he had a lack of consideration. Now, everyone has learned to read between the lines to what he was really trying to say. He still didn't know if he appreciated it or if it annoyed him.
Everyone agreed with Kirishima and began making their way back to their rooms. The red head grabbed him by the shoulder and Katsuki gave him an irritated look.
“You'll update us later, yeah?” He asked softly. Katsuki simply grunted and shook his hand off.
He unlocked the door–having already made himself a spare key a while ago for this very purpose–and when he walked inside, sure enough, there was Izuku curled up into a ball on his bed. Katsuki sighed and let himself in, closing and locking the door behind him. He walked up to him and, upon closer inspection, he had a faraway look in his eyes as heavy tears fell down his face. His fingers were tangled up in his own hair in a near death grip. Katsuki already knew that he hadn't even noticed he was in the room.
The blond scrunched up his face and kneeled down in front of him on the bed, placing his hands on his shoulders to gain his attention.
“Oi! Izuku. It's me.” He said in as soft a voice as he could muster. It was now when he realized how much he was actually trembling beneath his fingers, and that he was breathing so fast he was almost hyperventilating.
“ Shit! ” Katsuki scooted closer to him and moved his hands to Izuku's face.
“Izuku! Oi! I'm right here. I'm fine. I'm right here, ok? I'm alive. Everything's fine. I'm alive. I'm right here in front of you.”
Katsuki gently maneuvered his head so Izuku was fully facing him. He continued to murmur soft reassurances to him until he could finally see the shadows of his nightmare dissipate as his eyes regained focus.
When Izuku's eyes flickered up to meet his own, Katsuki didn't even bother to hide the relief that flooded through him. “K-Kacchan?”
“Hey, Nerd.” Katsuki also didn't bother to hide the way his eyes softened.
Izuku's eyes watered again as his face scrunched up in obvious guilt. “I'm sorry.”
Izuku's voice was watery and broken and it made Katsuki's chest ache. “Don't apologize, stupid. Do I look like I'm angry to you?”
It's ok. It's not your fault, Izuku. It never was.
Izuku shook his head and took a shuddering breath. “It was the same dream as before. I finally made it to the Coffin in the Sky and–”
“ Shhh. ” Katsuki gently quieted him and moved to fully sit on the bed. “You don't gotta talk about it. None of that shit matters anymore. Ok?”
Izuku, who had been taking deep breaths to calm himself, nodded. Katsuki reached up and carefully pried Izuku's fingers out of his hair. Little by little, he could see the tension leaving his body.
Katsuki made it a point to keep his eyes on Izuku's to keep him grounded, silently conveying that he was, in fact, here and alive with him. That everything was going to be ok.
Eventually, Izuku spoke again, voice still raspy from crying. “Will you stay with me again?”
Every time he asked the same question, and every time Katsuki thought it was ridiculous because the answer was always the same.
“I ain't going anywhere.”
Katsuki moved up so he was sitting against the headboard and opened his arms up for Izuku. Izuku immediately moved in and snuggled up into Katsuki's chest, pressing his ear directly against his heart.
Katsuki wrapped his arms around him tightly and allowed himself the indulgence to bury his nose in his green curls.
Almost immediately, Izuku's breathing began to calm. Katsuki rubbed his hand up and down the greenette's back, and could feel that his tremors had also eased.
“I'm sorry for being so annoying again.” Izuku mumbled into his chest.
“ Tch! ” Katsuki squeezed him gently. “You ain't annoying.”
Katsuki looked down and gently tilted Izuku's head up so he was looking at him. “I thought I already told you, Nerd. Anytime you're feeling like this, you come to me. Alright?”
Izuku nodded and snuggled closer. Katsuki leaned against the crown of his head and, after fighting with himself, he placed an indulgent kiss on the spot.
This habit of theirs had started only a week after they all came back to campus, when the country was deemed safe and normal again. It had happened much like tonight; Izuku woke up from a nightmare, screaming so loud that he woke up the entire floor. When the others had managed to get into his room, they did everything they could to calm him to no avail, with the only coherent thing he said being Katsuki's name.
That night, it had been Aoyama that had knocked on his door, frantically stumbling through his words as he explained what happened. Katsuki had never run so fast.
When he finally got to Izuku, he spoke to him much like he did earlier as he gently helped him out of the memory he was trapped in. It was actually Katsuki that grabbed a hysterical Izuku and placed him over his heart so he could hear it beating, so he could see that at the end of it all he was still alive.
That was here with him.
That he would always be here with him.
The effect it had on Izuku was near instant.
After that night, things had continued on like this. It's been over a month.
When Katsuki noticed Izuku's breathing had evened out, he looked down and saw that he had fallen asleep. Katsuki exhaled a breath full of emotion as he buried himself further into his curls.
“I'm not going anywhere.”
Katsuki stayed with him all night. When they woke up in the morning, he stayed for a little while longer–the two of them having a silent conversation with just their eyes that only they understood–until he knew for sure that Izuku was feeling better, and snuck back to his own room before Aizawa had even realized what had happened.
Katsuki will always remember the first time he and Izuku actually shared a real hug.
The war was finally over, Shigaraki and All For One were finally defeated and gone. There was a moment when it all finally hit Izuku, and you could see the relief and exhaustion hit him all at once in real time. He looked the way Katsuki had felt.
At the same time, Izuku had looked at Katsuki and the realization that the blond was safe and alive filled him all over again, and the emotions that he more than likely wanted to act on beforehand overwhelmed him as he allowed himself to give into them.
Those same emotions reflected in his eyes as they filled with tears. He stumbled his way to Katsuki, ignoring his own injuries and physical state ( again ), and by the time they had reached each other–Katsuki hadn't even realized his feet were moving–Izuku was sobbing with disbelief and elation before he all but threw himself at the blond and wrapped his injured arms around his neck as best he could.
Katsuki didn't even think about it. He wrapped his good arm around him as he held back his own tears, not even questioning what was happening because he would have to be a fucking idiot to not understand what was going through Izuku's mind at the time.
The greenette sobbed into his shoulder and the only thing Katsuki could say at that moment was, “I'm here, Izuku.”
It only made Izuku sob harder as his legs gave out and he collapsed in his arms.
It was a memory that stuck with Katsuki, and he couldn't help himself from thinking at times if Izuku thought about it as much as he did.
Even if they had significantly closed the distance between them, Izuku continued to act like everything was fine, like he didn't wake up from traumatic nightmares nearly every night.
It pissed Katsuki off. He kept telling the nerd to come to him if something was wrong. But as usual, he covered up his pain with a smile and brushed it aside. He thought they had worked on that shitty habit of his, dammit. All the others in their class were getting worried too.
Whether Katsuki was keeping an eye on him during normal or hero classes, Izuku was always acting like his usual self. In other words, completely ignoring everything he was holding onto inside and not taking care of himself.
It absolutely infuriated him.
But on the other hand, he could never really stay mad at him, no matter how many times he berated him for doing the exact opposite of what he told him to do.
Whenever Izuku woke up from another nightmare, his mind taking him back to that moment and then some, Katsuki always set his personal feelings aside to comfort him.
Can't help it. He makes me so fucking weak .
Everyone of their classmates knew what was going on with Izuku, and everyone knew that it was Katsuki who would help him through it. Blessedly, no one ever commented on the latter.
It was a little later in the evening, and Katsuki was making his way to the kitchen to make himself a quick snack before bed. When he walked into the kitchen, he found Izuku there as well, drinking a glass of water. Izuku turned his head and they both locked eyes. The nerd looked nervous, and Katsuki would bet one of his gauntlets on why that is.
He sighed and walked up to the cabinets, settling on making instant spicy ramen. It wasn't until he placed a pot of water on the stove to boil before he spoke. “What are you all nervous for?”
Izuku jumped slightly and turned his attention to Katsuki. He didn't answer for a minute, and the longer he stayed quiet the more irritated Katsuki became. The blond's stare turned more and more intense and it made Izuku squirm until he finally broke.
Izuku sighed silently and gave Katsuki a timid smile. “Uraraka was really worried about me today. She kept asking me if I was alright and–”
He placed his now empty glass on the counter and stared down into it. “I didn't know how to answer her.”
“Tch!” Katsuki grabbed the empty glass and went to clean it. “Lemme guess. You just told her you were fine instead.”
Izuku winced and Katsuki exhaled from his nose loudly. “For fuck sake, Izuku–”
“Please, I don't wanna argue right now, Kacchan.” The greenette begged.
But Katsuki wasn't having it. “It's just that I don't understand how many times I have to keep repeating myself. If you don't wanna tell any of the others, that's fine. Whatever. But I figured you'd at least open up to me.”
Izuku looked away and Katsuki felt a hint of satisfaction that he, at least, had the decency to look guilty. Katsuki put the empty glass away and it served as a good distraction to keep himself from throttling the annoyingly stubborn idiot.
When Katsuki stood by the boiling water to keep an eye on it, Izuku finally looked up at him. “I'm sorry.”
His voice was so small and Katsuki couldn't decide if the sound hurt him or if it irritated him. “I just don't want to be a burden to you, or to anyone.”
Izuku leaned against the counter and looked down. “We finally regained peace just a month ago, and we've finally started to slowly go back to normal. I don't want to disrupt that.”
“Oh, sure. Because you waking up half the building nearly every night is things going back to normal.” He knew the remark was a little harsh but, dammit, he couldn't help himself. The whole thing just pissed him off so much.
But then Izuku flinched and Katsuki instantly felt bad.
The blond removed the pot from the stove, turned the stove off and opened the ramen cup before pouring the water inside. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks to mix the noodles around. “Look. I'm only gonna say this one more time. After that, it's up to you to decide what you do with it.”
Katsuki gave Izuku a serious look. “You ain't a burden, and you ain't an annoyance either. And I know for a fact that if you did actually talk to someone about this you wouldn't be disturbing anyone.”
Katsuki walked up to Izuku to stand in front of him. “You've got nothing to apologize for.”
Izuku's eyes were wide and already watering as he looked up at him. When he didn't respond, Katsuki decided to leave off with one last thing, his voice low and soft as if he was telling the nerd a secret. Well, he guessed he technically kinda was. “I meant what I said. If you can't bring yourself to talk to anyone else, then you can always talk to me.”
When Izuku's mouth began to open, Katsuki was quick to interrupt. “And don't say some stupid shit like ‘I don't wanna disturb you’ or ‘wake you’ or whatever the fuck. I don't care where or when. If you–”
Katsuki hesitated and swallowed it back. He'd already gotten this far, might as well commit. “If you ever need me, for anything, I ain't gonna turn you away.”
Tears finally started falling down Izuku's freckled cheeks and Katsuki wanted nothing more than to reach over and wipe them away.
“I just want you to trust me with things like that, Nerd.” Katsuki felt the back of his neck heat up and walked away before it could spread to his face. He had no idea why he even said that but it was too late to take it back now.
Liar. You know exactly why you said it.
Before he could leave the kitchen, however, he was stopped by the sound of Izuku's voice.
“I do trust you, Kacchan.”
Katsuki looked at the greenette over his shoulder and found him looking back, wearing a watery serious expression. “I trust you more than anyone else.”
The words made a tightness Katsuki didn't even know he had in his chest loosen. He smiled to himself and left to finally eat his food.
It was a week later, and Katsuki was staring up at his ceiling in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep. He was never much of a night owl until after the war. In fact, for the first couple of weeks he was constantly being startled out of his sleep due to night terrors. He never told anyone about them, and since he dealt with them pretty quickly, he never felt the need to bring it up.
He knew it made him a fucking hypocrite but he didn't really care that much considering his night terrors were long gone and Izuku is clearly still having nightmares.
The only other sound in his room other than his own thoughts was the sound of the rain outside. It wasn't exactly a storm but it was a light rain either.
On nights like this, when he's feeling too restless and can't put his mind at ease, he can't help but think about the stupid nerd. Katsuki always wonders if he's managing to actually get a good night's sleep for once, or if he's tossing and turning from another vivid memory right now.
Katsuki wonders how long the memory will continue to haunt him. If he'll actually let it go and allow himself to move on.
Katsuki's not stupid. He knows there's a reason why the memory has stuck with Izuku even after a month. He knows there's more to it than finding the sight of his best friend's lifeless body on the ground. Katsuki might have an idea but he hopes he's wrong. Because if he's not he might just have to throttle the nerd.
Thing is, Katsuki knows that if things were reversed, he likely wouldn't be much better. He can't even imagine the feeling of finding someone so close to you in that state, of finding Izuku in that state. Izuku's had to endure a lot more than anybody, a lot more than most people could take.
Izuku is someone who wants nothing more than to help people. His heart and soul are always on full display with everything he does. He's sunshine and kindness personified, and because of that there are unfortunately people out there that will either use that against him and exploit him, or will simply take him for granted.
Katsuki used to be the latter and he still hates himself for it. The fact that he's been harboring all these feelings for a while now only makes him hate himself more.
Whether it was his journey to becoming a pro hero, the path he took to become the new Symbol of Peace, or having someone like Bakugou Katsuki chase after him for reasons other than competition, Izuku deserved better.
Katsuki was shaken out of his thoughts when he suddenly heard a knocking at his door. He looked over, confused, before looking over to his alarm clock. It read it was after one a.m. and all the blond could think about was who could it possibly be considering no one was stupid enough to wake him up at this hour.
Unless…? But the knocking wasn't the frantic kind that he was used to, and there was no one on the other side demanding that he hurry up and open the door.
Sighing, Katsuki stood up regardless, ready to tell whoever it was that some people were trying to sleep and to fuck off. But when he opened the door the irritated look on his face gave way to shock.
Izuku was looking up at him with nervous and apologetic eyes. “Hi.”
Katsuki instantly felt his confusion melt away at the sound of the greenette's timid voice. “Hey.”
Izuku breathed in and his eyes were already wet. “I'm sorry. I just– You said I could come to you whenever I needed and–”
Izuku had his arms wrapped around himself and it made him look so small. “I didn't want to wake the others but– I could leave if you want me to?”
Katsuki was reaching out for him before he could stop himself. “Hey! You don't hear me complaining, do you? I did say you can come to me, didn't I? I haven't changed my mind about that.”
He just thought Izuku would keep being too stubborn to actually listen.
Katsuki opened his door wider and led Izuku inside. “C'mon.”
Izuku breathed out a quiet 'Thank you’ before following behind him. Katsuki locked his door before leading Izuku to his bed, where he let him take the spot by the wall before crawling next to him. The position made Katsuki feel like he was shielding him from the world, and although he didn't deserve that privilege, the selfishness in him made him want to protect him anyway.
They both laid down on their sides, facing each other, and Katsuki reached up to wipe Izuku's tears away with both hands. He tried not to let his satisfaction show on his face when Izuku leaned into his touch. But he did allow himself to press a kiss to his forehead. The way Izuku looked up at him when he did it, almost reverent and adoring, made the action worth it.
He placed Izuku's head above his heart, like he always did, and let the sound of his heartbeat ease the anxiety that had welled up within him. Izuku had been shaking again, which began to stop as soon as the therapeutic ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump of Katsuki's proof of life brought him calm.
They stayed that way for a bit, the rain outside the soundtrack to the heaviness of the moment playing out between them.
Katsuki didn't know how long they stayed that way, but surprisingly Izuku didn't fall asleep like he usually did. Instead, he laid next to him quietly while playing with the hem of Katsuki's tank top. Unable to help himself, Katsuki cradled his nape and carefully guided him to look up at him. Izuku looked at him with an openness that the blond almost couldn't stand.
Don't look at me like that. I don't deserve it.
Katsuki gazed at him with as unreadable an expression as he could muster (though it was probably still soft) and gently moved some of Izuku's green curls away from his face. “Finally took my advice, huh?”
Izuku looked down guiltily and nodded. “I somehow managed not to wake up screaming this time.” He said with a self-deprecating smile.
Izuku continued before Katsuki could say anything to that. “Like I said, I didn't wanna wake anyone.”
His eyes shyly looked back up at Katsuki and he struggled to look the blond in the eye. “But I really wanted to see you too.”
Katsuki felt his heart rate pick up. “Yeah?”
Izuku nodded again. “Yeah. More than anything else.”
Katsuki chuckled to cover up the way the words made his heart flutter. “Even sleep?”
Izuku answered with a small smile and Katsuki felt victorious. “Even sleep.”
The blond rolled his eyes and smirked down at him. “You're annoying.”
Izuku's smile disappeared and he looked away again. “I'm sorry if I woke you.”
Katsuki immediately shut that line of thinking down and shook his head. “You didn't. I was already awake anyway.”
Izuku looked up at him, confused. “I thought Kacchan went to bed early.”
Katsuki winced and looked above his nerd's head. “Yeah, well, I used to.”
It went quiet for a moment and Katsuki could see from the corner of his eye that Izuku was scrutinizing him with curiosity. To distract himself, Katsuki began playing with Izuku's green curls. They were all messy and tangled, but they were softer than they looked. When the nerd started to hum the blond wasn't sure if it was because he was thinking or if he was enjoying the treatment. It was probably both.
When Katsuki wouldn't look at him, Izuku simply said one thing in that soft and concerned voice of his. “Kacchan?”
Katsuki was fucking weak.
He finally looked back down and gave him a sort of reassuring look. “I'm fine, nerd.”
Izuku didn't look so sure. “Is this my fault? Do you stay up late because of me?”
Katsuki's brow furrowed and he dug his fingers in Izuku's green curls to cradle his skull in a firm hold. “I didn't say that, did I? No. I don't stay up this late because of you.”
Izuku still looked unsure. Katsuki loosened his hold and exhaled deeply. “I stay up late because of me.”
Now Izuku's brows furrowed with confusion with a slight tilt to his head. “What do you mean?”
Katsuki looked above Izuku at the wall as he thought back to his earlier thoughts. He never intended to reveal any of this to Izuku. But if he wanted his nerd to open up to him, guess he's gotta practice what he's been preaching or whatever.
After a few minutes of silence he finally spoke. “I used to get night terrors.”
He could see Izuku's mouth drop with surprise. When another minute went by Katsuki realized he was going to have to keep going. “I haven't gotten them in a while. But it was almost always the same. The feeling of anger and frustration. The fear. Staring Shigaraki down because I knew, no matter what, I couldn't stop. Feeling my heart beat at a speed it wasn't supposed to. Knowing exactly how it would end.”
He finally looked back to Izuku and, predictably, his eyes were drowning in tears. Katsuki wiped them away with a curl of his finger. “You wanna know the most fucked up part of it all?”
Izuku hesitated but nodded anyway. Katsuki chuckled self-depracatingly. “There was only one thing that came to mind moments before it happened.”
A touch of curiosity lit up in Izuku's eyes. Katsuki exhaled and he placed his hand against the greenette's chin to maintain their eye contact. “The only thing I could think about was you.”
Izuku's eyes slowly widened as more tears started to fall. Katsuki made sure his expression said nothing, wanting Izuku to come to his own conclusion. Soon, the greenette was leaning his forehead against Katsuki's chest. Quiet sobs wracked his smaller body and all Katsuki could do was wrap his arms around him.
When he did, Izuku began shaking his head and it sent a shot of confusion through him. Izuku collected himself and took deep breaths. “K-Kacchan has done so much for me. But I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it.”
Now Katsuki was really confused. Instead of demanding answers, he decided to wait and let Izuku take his time. The smaller boy hiccupped as he recollected himself, clutching onto Katsuki's shirt like a lifeline. “It's my fault. What happened was my fault. If only I had paid better attention. If only I didn't let myself get caught and separated from you. If only I had gotten there in time. Then none of– I could have–”
Katsuki's eyes widened with every uttered word as his fears and suspicions had been realized. Refusing to let the idiot take the blame any longer, Katsuki held Izuku's face firmly in the palms of his hands and made him look up at him.
“Look at me. Cut the self-loathing shit cause it ain't needed. What happened to me wasn't your fault. Ok? It was mine. What happened to me had absolutely nothing to do with you.”
Izuku hiccupped. “But if I was there then I could have–”
Katsuki cut him. “ Shhh! Shut up. None of that matters anymore. What's done is done and we can't change it. And besides, everything worked out in the end, yeah?”
After a moment of hesitation, Izuku nodded. “Then stop blaming yourself for what happened to me.”
Katsuki held his gaze with serious eyes and subconsciously began to caress his cheek with his thumb. “It's not your fault, Izuku.”
And just like that, something seemed to click inside the greenette. As if a weight that had been holding him down had been lifted off his chest. Like those words were exactly what he needed to hear to alleviate the pain and breathe again.
Izuku's eyes watered once again, but this time it was from relief instead of anxiety. He buried his face in Katsuki's chest and sobbed out his emotion. And Katsuki let him.
“Kacchan!”
Katsuki held him close as he allowed him to let it all out. He tangled a hand in his hair while he dug his nose in his curls. He inhaled the fresh and clean scent of them and it reminded him of the forest that they used to play in when they were kids after it rained. Despite the emotional moment, it put Katsuki's mind at ease. It put him in a strange state of comfort and contentment.
More time passed and the rain outside didn't show any signs of letting up anytime soon, but it did finally calm down some. Izuku's sobs had also quieted down, and he laid there against Katsuki's chest as he drew patterns into his tear stained shirt.
It was late as fuck now, but it didn't seem like either of them really cared anymore.
Something that Izuku said before came back to Katsuki and it made him frown. “It's me that doesn't deserve you, ya know?”
Izuku startled and looked up at the blond. Katsuki didn't have it in him to look back. “After everything, everything I've done. To you. I don't get how you can look at me the way you do. How you can still look at me that way.”
Izuku's jaw opened slightly before his brows furrowed. “Like you said before, none of that matters now. I never held any of that against you, Kacchan.”
Katsuki's eyes flicked down to Izuku's and he almost hated how soft and sympathetic they were. It made him think back to both his near death experiences, the things he thought of in those moments and how they affected him.
A soft blush appeared on Izuku's cheeks before he spoke, effectively interrupting his thoughts. “You were just too amazing to ignore. Still are, really.”
Katsuki's lips curled upwards. No matter what, he'd always be weak to having his ego stroked. Especially by his nerd. “Damn straight, I am.”
Izuku giggled softly and Katsuki committed the sound to memory. Then, a look of concern took over those emerald eyes as they gazed at him. “It wasn't your fault either.”
Katsuki felt something like pressure in his chest crack. “Shigaraki gloated to me about how he left a 'present’ for me. He used you to hurt me, and it worked.”
Katsuki played with the ends of Izuku's curls again, moving them away from his face. “I know. He bragged to me about how he'd do it before you got there. But I still took the bait because I couldn't let him hurt you.”
Izuku's eyes softened and Katsuki knew he was fucked for life. “If I can't blame myself, then you can't either.”
“Tch!” Katsuki pressed the nerd's face to his chest. “You really are annoying.”
Izuku giggled again and Katsuki smiled softly into his hair. I don't know what I did to deserve a second chance with you.
Izuku nuzzled his face against his chest. “Nothing. You just had to keep being Kacchan.”
Katsuki froze as his eyes widened. Had he said that out loud?
He looked down at Izuku who was already looking up at him. “If that's how you feel, about why you're still here, then I think you should embrace it.”
Sometimes, Katsuki hated how well Izuku could see right through him. How he could piece together the things he said with ease.
This was not one of those times.
Katsuki kissed the crown of his head, inhaling the soothing scent of his green curls. “Then I promise not to waste it.”
Izuku curled further into him if that was even possible and Katsuki made a promise to himself that he would dedicate this second chance by doing right by the boy in his arms as best he can. Simply because Izuku deserved it, he deserved a better version of Bakugou Katsuki in his life.
Not one who took out his insecurities on him to make himself feel better, but one that made it a point to make sure he knew how proud he was of him and how much he appreciated him in his life.
A small stretch of comfortable silence went on until Izuku broke it with a request that rocked Katsuki to his core.
“Can I see it?”
The blond's body tensed as he looked down at his nerd. “What?”
“Can I see?” Izuku was staring directly at the center of his chest with sympathetic eyes and Katsuki was filled with a subtle panic.
He licked his lips nervously. “I don't think that's a very good idea.”
Izuku looked up at him, dejected. “Why not?”
Katsuki sighed and ran his fingers through Izuku's hair to calm him. “I don't know how it'll affect you when you see it.”
So much so, Katsuki made it a point to make sure he never saw the scar. Even when they were changing in the locker rooms he made sure to turn his body away from him.
Izuku's expression morphed into something resolved. “I'll be ok. I know it.”
Katsuki still felt unsure. “I don't know, Izuku.”
But his nerd was stubborn like he always was. “Trust me, Kacchan.”
Katsuki was reminded once again of how fucking weak he was when it came to Midoriya Izuku.
He nodded jerkily and hesitated for a moment before slowly lifting up his shirt, exposing the three most prominent scars on his body. Katsuki hoped Izuku couldn't see the way his hands were trembling.
Izuku stared at his scars and the blond could see his eyes filling up again, but the greenette didn't let his tears fall. He looked at Katsuki's scars with a sort of melancholy and a kind of regard that made Katsuki ache.
Izuku's lips trembled as he held back all the emotion the scars were no doubt bringing up. “They're all for me.”
Izuku lifted up his hand and began gently grazing the scar in the center of his chest with the tips of his fingers, while flicking his eyes across all three of them. “Every single one of these scars, you got them for me.”
Izuku lifted his eyes as he continued to trace the raised skin on his chest. “Because you protected me.”
Katsuki placed his finger below Izuku's chin to connect their eyes. “I don't regret a single thing.”
Izuku sagged with relief and gave him a watery smile. He looked back down to Katsuki's scars, biting his bottom lip as he seemed to deliberate something, before slowly leaning forward and pressing a tentative kiss to Katsuki's chest.
Katsuki's body tensed as a shiver ran across his skin. His breath hitched before he could even stop it. Izuku moved back with nervous hesitation, no doubt thinking he'd done something wrong.
Katsuki took a slow breath. “It's ok.”
Izuku's shoulders relaxed and he leaned back in to place another kiss to Katsuki's skin. When he pulled away, he looked up at the scar on Katsuki's left shoulder, and leaned up to place kisses against it. Izuku's lips created a burning path around the edges of the scar before placing one to the very center.
When Izuku looked down at the scar on Katsuki's right hip, he paused for a moment before slowly crawling down. When his lips brushed against the raised skin, a pleasurable tremor moved through him as Katsuki released a shuddering sigh that he couldn't hold back.
Izuku kissed around the scar like the previous one. Katsuki could see the way his lips lingered on his skin before he pulled away. When Izuku moved back up, he looked back to the scar in the center of Katsuki's chest, a splattering of raised skin that ironically resembled an explosion.
Izuku eyed it again with a bittersweet expression. He exhaled before covering the scar with kisses, almost as if wanting to heal it even further with his lips. He gently nuzzled the spot with the tip of his nose in-between kisses.
At this point, Katsuki was breathing heavily as he stared down at the greenette. Izuku was worshiping him with an appreciation that Katsuki still didn't feel like he deserved. But seeing Izuku appreciate him with such open and honest affection made it impossible for Katsuki to deny him.
How long has Katsuki been watching him from afar, filled with a craving that he could never really act on? Like staring at a piece of art so beautiful that you could never really touch.
How long has Katsuki been holding himself back?
He grabbed Izuku by the nape of his neck, tangling his fingers in the ends of his hair, and carefully peeled him away from his chest to pull him up to connect his lips to his. For a moment, when he felt Izuku freeze, he thought he would reject him. But then Izuku was melting against him and kissing him back with a sense of desperation that Katsuki felt.
Izuku's lips were chapped but they were also so soft. The timid nature of his kiss contrasted deliciously with Katsuki's aggressive need. It felt like heaven.
He didn't want to pull away from him, and he sure as shit didn't want to stop. Katsuki pressed his lips to Izuku's insistently, and the little sound he made shattered what was left of Katsuki's control.
Katsuki carefully rolled Izuku onto his back, rolling on top of him, without breaking their connection. The blond placed his hands to his nerd's sides, while Izuku wrapped his arms around his neck.
Katsuki felt a shot of victorious satisfaction knowing that now his nerd was truly his.
Katsuki suddenly felt a timid lick against his bottom lip and he instantly opened up for Izuku to explore him. They were sloppy, biting each other constantly, doing way too much too fast, and they definitely didn't know what they were doing.
Katsuki was sure it was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He felt his nerd's tongue rub against his own and it made Katsuki groan hungrily into their kiss. Izuku tasted like mint and summer. It filled Katsuki with a warmth that was both new and nostalgic. He wanted to keep Izuku all to himself. He wanted to keep him close and never let go again.
He wanted to strip him down and brand his skin with his touch. He wanted Izuku to breathe out his name repeatedly, to scream it.
The darker thoughts made Katsuki pause as he realized that he really was about to lose control. Hanging onto any semblance of sanity he had left, Katsuki very reluctantly pulled away from Izuku's soft and addictive lips.
His nerd whined and tried to follow him, looking up at the blond with confusion when Katsuki only turned away from his lips. “What's wrong?”
Katsuki took a deep breath to gain control over his libido. “ Fuck! We gotta stop.”
Izuku tilted his head. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”
Katsuki chuckled. No matter what, he was still Izuku. “No. Not at all, dumbass. It's just that if we don't stop right now I ain't gonna be able to control myself.”
A deep flush had already spread across Izuku's cheeks, which only deepened when comprehension filled him. “Oh. Um. I don't– I don't mind. That's– That's ok, Kacchan.”
Katsuki expelled his breath as a shudder shot right through him. Of course Izuku wouldn't be opposed to doing this now if given the option. He should have known better than to think Izuku wouldn't jump at the chance to do and share anything with him.
Katsuki gave him a strained and appreciative smile. “Not today, Izuku.”
The greenette seemed disappointed for a moment before the realization of his words dawned on him, the silent promise of a next time. He blushed and unwrapped his arms from the blond's neck.
Katsuki laid back down on his side while pulling his shirt back down and invited his nerd to snuggle up to him. Izuku hummed in contentment and wrapped his arms around Katsuki's waist, as the blond wrapped his own around his shoulders.
He pressed a kiss to his green curls and sighed. “Get some sleep, Nerd.”
Izuku nodded against him. “Kacchan?”
Katsuki grunted to prompt him to keep going. “You're my favorite person.”
Katsuki grinned into his hair. “I would fucking hope so.”
Izuku giggled and pressed his face to the blond's chest. “I mean it. I wanna stay with you, always. For the rest of my life.”
Katsuki let the familiar words settle over him and he held Izuku tighter against his body. “For the rest of our lives.”
With the comfortable atmosphere around them, it didn't take long for them to fall asleep, curled up in each other's arms.
Outside, the rain had finally stopped.