Chapter Text
“Uraraka, you’re up next,” Aizawa drawled, already starting to tire of this whole Quirk Apprehension Test. Still, he had to remind himself it was more logical than attending orientation and listening to the same long-winded speech Nezu put on every year. Plus, it was a necessary procedure for Aizawa to know the basics of all his students’ Quirks.
Though, in Ochako’s case, he was already well aware of how she would perform in this specific exercise based on what he saw at the entrance exam. Sure enough, the moment she let go of the ball, it floated up into the sky, eventually parting the clouds. It was both out of sight and out of mind after Aizawa marked her score as an infinity and moved on.
Of course, out of mind doesn’t mean out of existence. As such, the ball continued on its upward journey, rising closer and closer to the stratosphere with every passing second. There’s a good chance it would’ve made it all the way to space had it not bumped up against the bottom of a passing airplane. In an instant, all of the ball’s momentum was turned in the other direction, and it began hurdling back down to earth, reaching terminal velocity in a matter of seconds.
During this time, several more students tried their hand at the ball throw. One of these hands would have been nothing but a mangled purple mess had Aizawa not stepped in to scold the boy.
“Wh-What’s going on?” Izuku questioned, feeling all the power suddenly vanish from his arm.
“I erased your Quirk,” Aizawa explained simply as his red eyes bore down on the boy, whose nervousness quickly turned to shock.
“Wait a minute… you’re the Erasure Hero: Eraserhead!”
Oh great, another fanboy. Aizawa considered booting Izuku just for that alone, but decided he was feeling generous today. “Yes, and you were about to break your arm again. I saw what you did at the entrance exam, Midoriya. UA isn’t a place for novices who don’t know how to use their Quirk correctly.”
“Um, Mr. Aizawa?” Izuku cut in, noticing the ball dropping from the sky, seconds away from hitting his teacher in the back of the head.
“Don’t talk over me. Anyways, you’ll never be able to become a hero if you keep being so irresponsible with your-”
“No, seriously, Mr. Aizawa.” Izuku frantically began pointing behind his teacher, but he didn’t even move a muscle. “C-Could you move? Something’s about to-”
“Are you even taking this conversation seriously, Midoriya?” Aizawa’s glare deepened. “If you’re going to keep talking over me, then maybe I should expel you right now.”
“He’s not trying to be rude, Sir,” Tenya spoke up, his eyes fixed on the meteor-like ball, along with the rest of the class. “He’s just trying to warn you that-”
“That’s enough from all of you,” Aizawa whipped his head to face the other students, his eyes glowing red once again, “If you’re going to keep being disrespectful, then I have no qualms about expelling each and every one of you.” They all gasped, which was the reaction Aizawa expected. It was good for his students to have a healthy fear of him. “I’ve done it to several other classes in the past, and believe me when I say that I won’t lose a wink of sleep knowing that some of you may never become hero-”
Suddenly, the ball slammed into the back of Aizawa’s head at full force, knocking his unconscious body to the ground, where he received more than a faceful of dirt (he also got a mouthful and an eyeful).
You could hear a pin drip as 1-A watched their teacher get injured, their eyes all comically wide and their jaws hanging down to their torsos. After a few short moments of silence, Kaminari was the first to speak up. “Uh, so does this mean none of us are getting expelled?”
———————————————
“Good news, you have a concussion.”
Aizawa fought back a snarl at Recovery Girl’s snark-filled diagnosis. It was bad enough that his students had to carry him over to the infirmary. Now how was he supposed to come off as the gruff, infallible teacher whom they feared enough to not mess up in front of, lest they get expelled?
“Whatever. Just heal me so I can get back to teaching.”
“Oh, I would, dearie. But tell me, how much sleep have you gotten last night?”
“Four hours,” Aizawa answered with a completely straight face.
“And the night before?”
“Four and a half.”
“And the night before that?”
“Three. What point are you trying to make here?”
“Did you forget how my Quirk works?” Recovery Girl huffed frustratedly, “I heal by drawing from your stamina reserves, but because you’re so ‘logical’, you always get the bare minimum amount of sleep, meaning you have no reserves!” She whacked him on the shin with her cane before taking a calming breath. “You’ll just have to heal the old-fashioned way.”
Aizawa rubbed his bruised shin as he looked up at Recovery Girl in disbelief. “You can’t be serious. Who else is supposed to teach this year’s group of hellions?”
“Yes, that’s the question on everyone’s minds right now, isn’t it?” A third voice made itself known, confidently strolling into the room like he owned the place (which he technically did).
“Oh great…” Aizawa sighed, knowing the principal’s mere presence usually made his life more difficult. “What do you want, Rat?”
“Don’t mind me. I’m just popping in to get you to sign off on your new replacement.” He handed the teacher some papers, which he didn’t even read, as something about Nezu’s words caused a pit of dread to open up in his stomach.
“Replacement? Don’t you mean substitute?”
“I do not, Aizawa.” Nezu’s smile grew upon seeing the look of shock on the underground hero’s face. “I heard about how you got injured, and the fact that you were so busy scolding a student that you couldn’t hear the others’ requests to move a few steps out of the way.”
“I was trying to prevent a student from getting needlessly injured.”
“And I doubt he would’ve been in that situation in the first place had you simply attended orientation,” Nezu chuckled as he noticed Aizawa clam up, “Either way, I feel as if you require a reality check of your own. Before you can be a heroics teacher, you must first learn to be a regular teacher. As such, as soon as you’re better, you’ll be responsible for teaching Class 1-D.”
“Gen ed?!” Aizawa balked. To say this came as a surprise would be an understatement. Sure, he might’ve taken a few (dozen) naps during class time, but that didn’t mean he failed at communication with his students! It was probably just a coincidence that none of his previous classes came to him with any problems, Quirk-related or otherwise.
As much as he wanted to protest this decision, there was a horrid implication that came with the principal’s statement. “But wait, if I’m teaching 1-D, then does that mean Nemuri’s teaching…”
———————————————
“Hello Class 1-A!” The R-Rated Hero: Midnight greeted as she burst through the oversized doors. “Starting today, I’m your new homeroom teacher!”
“Holy crap! Midnight’s our teacher!” Mineta was the first to react, already frothing at the mouth as his mind went to all kinds of inappropriate places. “Thank you to every god out there for making my dream come true!”
Similar (albeit less horny) sentiments of excitement were shared throughout the class as Midnight made her way to the podium. “For those of you who don’t know, I’m Nemuri Kayama, but you can call me Midnight if you want.” She winked, and a few blushes spread across some of the boys’ faces.
“I know Aizawa was a little more… hostile in his introduction, but don’t worry, I’m not nearly as expulsion-happy as him. I’m sure we’ll have all kinds of fun together.”
Blood began to trickle down Mineta’s nose, making his seatmate less than comfortable. “Does anybody want to trade seats?” Asked Tokoyami. Unfortunately, no one took him up on his offer. “Ah, I see I have been designated to the role of sacrificial lamb. Very well.”
While most of the class looked relieved to now have a teacher who looked like they showered more than once a week, there was still a lingering sense of aversion from one student in particular.
Don’t get Izuku wrong, he really admired Midnight as a hero (for reasons other than her sex appeal, he felt he should add). But first impressions were everything, and Aizawa’s still left a bitter taste in his mouth, to say the least.
He was starting to understand the phrase ‘never meet your heroes’, because simply put, Aizawa reminded Izuku of his old teachers back at Aldera. The way they’d call him out in front of the whole class and coldly scold him in front of everyone still made him shudder at the memory. And so far, it’d been the same at UA.
But Izuku was always one to give second chances. Midnight seemed to know what she was doing, so he’d put his trust in her, and hopefully she’d be a good enough teacher not to break it. Though, considering his prior experiences, being a ‘good teacher’ was a very low bar to cross in his eyes.
———————————————
The Next Day; Following the Battle Trials…
“Bakugo, for your reckless behavior and blatant refusal to back down despite your teacher’s orders, I’m confiscating your gauntlets and giving you a month of detention, which you’ll spend at the support labs with Power Loader learning all about support equipment safety.”
“WHAT?!” Katsuki yelled in shock and disbelief at his teacher, whose stern look didn’t waver for even a moment.
“Just be glad Aizawa’s not here, because he would have certainly expelled you for this stunt and totally wouldn’t have developed some unexplained bias towards you. Also, switch seats with Uraraka.”
“Hey, Deku! Guess we’re seatmates now!” Ochako waved as she took the seat in front of her friend. Unfortunately, he was frozen in a state of shock, his mind going in circles just to comprehend what had just happened.
This was probably the first time he’d ever seen his ex-childhood friend get meaningfully punished for his actions. And looking back on it… yeah, he probably deserved it. His career as a hero wouldn’t last long if those gauntlets were accidentally pointed at a civilian.
He felt a spike in anxiety as Midnight turned to him, worried that he was next on the chopping block. But when he noticed the much softer look on her face, he started to calm slightly. “Midoriya, I’m sorry for not noticing your Quirk issues sooner.” Woah, a teacher not only holding Kacchan accountable, but themselves as well? Did Izuku wake up in an alternate universe today?
“Starting tomorrow, I’m signing you up for some special one-on-one lessons,” Midnight gave him a sultry look, and his face exploded into red. “Kaminari, Aoyama, that offer extends to you boys as well.”
“Damn lucky guys, getting to spend time alone with Midnight,” Mineta grumbled, folding his arms, “Why can’t my Quirk naturally hurt me to the point of intervention.”
“We’ll get started after tomorrow’s field trip to the USJ.”
“We’re going to Universal Studios Japan tomorrow?” Mina excitedly perked up, “That sounds like fun!”
———————————————
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Universal Studios Japan, it was the Unforeseen Simulation Joint. Double-unfortunately, it wasn’t very fun either, at least not when the purple portal appeared out of nowhere, dispensing dozens of villains onto the main plaza.
“Greetings heroes,” The man made of purple mist calmly and elegantly introduced himself and his group, “We are the League of Villains, and we are here to kill the Symbol of Peace.”
“At least we would be if All Might bothered to show up!” A man covered in disembodied hands loudly complained. “Kurogiri, where is he? I thought Sensei said he’d be here!”
“Calm yourself, Tomura. I have no doubts he’ll arrive shortly once he hears of our invasion.”
“He better. But until then…” Tomura’s smile turned sinister as he looked up toward the group of scared-looking hero students, accompanied by a pair of teachers. “Why don’t we kill off a few kids to grab his attention.”
“Everyone to the gate!” Midnight loudly announced as Thirteen began leading the students out of the building-turned-death trap. However, some hesitated as they saw their teacher prepare to enter battle with the hoard of henchmen.
“Midnight, are you sure you can handle all those villains?” Izuku asked, receiving a confident, yet assuring grin from his teacher in response.
“Don’t worry, I’ve taken on way more men than this before.”
“Ms. Kayama, this is a very inappropriate time for innuendos!” Tenya's face burned red as he scolded his teacher, which was a rather bold move for someone like him.
“Yeah, but now you’re too flustered to be scared,” She grinned before leaping off the ledge overseeing the villains, where she landed right in the center of their clump before unleashing a huge wave of pink smoke, knocking out at least half of them in the process.
“Sorry, boys, but you all need to be punished.” She seductively licked her lips, giving off a sadistic vibe that caused the henchmen to shudder. She pulled out her whip and started attacking some of the further away villains, all while continuously pumping out knockout gas to deal with the ones in her immediate vicinity.
Those with ranged Quirks tried to hit her from afar, but she simply weaved around their projectiles with the grace of an Olympic gymnast before knocking the villains away with a crack of her whip.
Of course, this got the attention of the League’s supposed leader, who started furiously scratching himself all over at the sight of the hero. “What the hell?! The schedule said Eraserhead was supposed to be here! But you're not Eraserhead, you’re a woman!”
A villain with a turntable for a head made a record scratch sound, and everyone immediately paused the fight to turn and look at Tomura, the disgust evident on their faces.
“Dude! Not cool!” One of the henchmen said, shaking his head.
“W-What are you talking about? Why did you all stop trying to kill her?” Tomura asked perplexedly.
“I didn’t realize I signed up to work for a misogynist,” One of the female henchmen scoffed, whipping out her phone to call the others. “Hey everyone, our boss hates women. Let’s get out of here.”
“Why the fuck do you care?! We’re trying to kill children for god’s sake!”
“Yeah, but we don’t discriminate by gender. We’ll kill hero students regardless if they’re male or female.” Turning away from Tomura, all the henchmen in the area walked off into a purple portal that recently appeared before them.
“Hey, wait! Come back!” Tomura pleaded, never one to appreciate it when his party walked out on him, regardless if they were just cannon fodder meant to tire out the heroes. “I don’t hate women! I just… think they’re the inherently inferior sex.”
A round of groans echoed throughout the entire USJ from heroes and villains alike. Even Kurogiri couldn’t help but bury his misty head in his misty hands. “Should’ve expected this much from a League of Legends player,” One of the henchmen said as the portal closed, leaving just Tomura, Midnight, Kurogiri, and the hulking mass of muscles with an exposed brain standing behind them.
“This is all your fault, you bitch!” Tomura lunged at Midnight, hand outstretched and ready to kill the first thing it touched. That thing turned out to be a whip. But he could disintegrate it into a million pieces, the whip cracked, leaving a nasty gash across his right palm, which he instinctively reeled back from. “AH! FUCK!”
“Looks like you need to learn a few lessons about respecting women,” Said Midnight in a low tone as stepped up to the villain, who painfully clutched his injured hand with his un-injured one. “What would your mother think?”
“My mother’s dead and I’m literally wearing her right now!” Tomura gestured to the disembodied hand clutching his shoulder, and Midnight felt like she wanted to barf. She was originally going to make a joke about him calling her mommy or something, but now she just wanted to wrap this up.
“Well, maybe you can reflect on your actions after you wake up in prison.” She took out her feather fans and directed a puff of pink smoke in Tomura’s face. He tried to wave it away, but he was more to used to turning all his problems into dust instead of actually dealing with them, so it managed to slip past the hand covering his face and into his nostrils, where he soon fell asleep, not even the rough impact on the ground being enough to wake him.
Midnight ran up to tie up and cuff him, but a sudden purple portal appeared right in front of her, impeding her progress. “Oh dear, Tomura’s in danger,” Kurogiri said in an impassive tone. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop him from portaling both himself and the manchild of a villain out of the USJ.
“Shoot! He got away!” Midnight frustratedly stamped her foot on the ground before taking notice of the large, muscly, bird-like creature beside her. He hadn’t done anything this entire fight. That, combined with his thousand-yard stare and unblinking eyes kind of freaked Midnight out. “Um, are you going to fight me too?”
The creature did not respond.
“Miss Midnight, Miss Midnight!” Her attention was suddenly drawn away from the creature as she noticed three of her students run up to her.
“Midoriya, Asui, Mineta? I thought I told you to escape with Thirteen.”
“We tried to, but the portal villain injured Thirteen and scattered us across the USJ, ribbit,” Tsuyu explained.
“He sent us to the flood zone.” Izuku pointed to the giant boat resting on an equally large lake. “We were surrounded by villains, but they all suddenly left for some reason!”
“I heard it was because their leader made some offensive comments toward women,” Mineta remarked, “Not that I would know anything about that.”
“Alright, thanks for letting me know,” Midnight nodded, quickly digesting the information. “There might still be villains in the other zones, so we should-”
“I AM HERE!” All Might suddenly burst into the building, punching the large, metal doors right off their hinges. One of these doors flew across the room, landing right on top of Midnight, crushing her like a bug.
Izuku, Tsuyu, and Mineta all turned to glare at the number one hero. “All Might, the villains already left, and you just crushed Midnight, ribbit.” Tsuyu tried to look angry, but her restrictive facial muscles wouldn’t allow it, so she settled on drawing some angry eyebrows on her face with a marker.
“Oh…” All Might shriveled up in embarrassment, which certainly wasn’t helped by the looks the other teachers and faculty members were giving him. “My bad.”
———————————————
A Few Days Later…
“Everyone, listen up, I have an announcement!” Tenya stood up at the podium and shouted at his classmates, who all went quiet after only a few seconds. “According to Recovery Girl, both Midnight and Thirteen are expected to make a full recovery.”
After a round of cheers and relieved sighs, he continued, “Unfortunately, due to the large amount of bones she broke when that door flattened her, Midnight will no longer be able to serve as our homeroom teacher.”
Everyone’s relief quickly turned to sorrow, especially Mineta’s, who looked like he was about to die from the revelation.
Izuku wasn’t faring much better either. The first teacher who gave a damn about him had to step down all thanks to an ill-placed door. It wasn’t fair, but then again, most things in his life rarely were.
“But don’t worry,” Tenya tried to bring the mood back up, “I’ve heard from the principal himself that UA is calling in a hero from outside UA in order to help train us for the Sports Festival! Does anyone have any questions?”
Ochako shot her hand into the air. “Who will this hero be?”
“I haven’t been told. But Nezu said he would - and I quote - ‘have my reaction on tape.’”
“Does this mean I don’t have detention anymore?” Katsuki asked, half-raising his hand.
“No, Power Loader is still expecting you after class today.”
“DAMMIT!”
“Uh, yeah, I have a question,” Kaminari waved his hand back and forth, trying to get his class rep’s attention. “What are the odds our class is secretly cursed to have any one who tries to teach us suffer some kind of horrible fate?”
“That’s a good question, Kaminari. In fact, Yaoyorozu and I have been running some calculations on the matter.” Tenya gestured to the whiteboard, where Momo could be seen furiously writing down equations.
“According to the statistics, it’s only a pattern if it occurs three times or more,” She concluded based on her research, “So let’s just hope our third teacher doesn’t get injured or mutilated in such a way that it forces them to stop teaching.”
“And if that does happen?”
Momo was about to answer, but Tokoyami stepped in to make the reveal as dramatic as possible. “Then it’s clear we are cursed by the fury of the gods themselves!” He boomed, his declaration followed by an ominous bolt of lightning, courtesy of Kaminari.
“He’s been waiting to say that line his entire life,” Dark Shadow popped out to clarify.
———————————————
Omake:
All Might: I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.
Midnight: It’s fine, it was just an accident.
All Might: Still, I let myself get careless with my strength. I haven’t done that since my training days.
Torino: Yeah! And just like those days, I’m gonna kick your ass for screwing up!
All Might: Wait, wha-
A boot to the face.