Chapter Text
"You're not coming with me."
Obanai's steps echoed sharply behind Giyu as the two made their way through the narrow corridor of the headquarters. The water pillar’s voice was low, steady, and unyielding. But Obanai? He wasn’t having any of it.
"You don’t get to decide that," he snapped, his tone clipped as he followed doggedly. "Sanemi’s out on another mission, and there’s no one else to back you up. So yes, I’m coming with you."
Giyu sighed, his brow furrowing as he briefly looked over his shoulder, his pace brisk, as if he could outrun the argument. "I don’t need backup for a reconnaissance mission. I’m not engaging Upper Moon Six, I’m just--"
"Just what?!" Obanai cut him off, his voice sharp as a blade. "Just scouting? You’re going after that monster, and you think it’s safe because you’re not planning on fighting? You know how these things go, Tomioka Giyu,'' he dragged out the name in mockery because he hated when the other played stupid. ''Nothing ever goes according to plan."
Giyu stopped abruptly, turning to face Obanai with a frown. His eyes were calm, but there was a warning in them. "I told you," he said slowly, as if trying to keep his patience, "I’m meeting up with Shinobu halfway through the mission. We’re going to assess the situation together. Oyakata-sama hopes she'll manage to synthesize something to counter the poison before we truly engage them.'' His lips pursed in displeasure as he spoke his next thoughts out loud. ''There’s no reason for you to come---especially when you’re not fully recovered."
Obanai scoffed, stepping closer, fists clenched at his sides. "I’m in perfect health, and you know it."
"You can’t just--"
"I can’t just sit here!" Obanai’s voice cracked with the intensity of his frustration. His hands trembling now, fingers twitching as if trying to grasp something solid, something he could control. "I can’t keep lying around while you’re all out there risking your lives! It’s dangerous, Giyu, no matter how much you try to downplay it.'' He shook his head. ''Don't you see that you moron! Even if you think you know their weakness, his weakness, even if you know their secrets; you think that’ll be enough? You think you’ll be safe just because you’re not planning on fighting?"
Giyu’s jaw tightened, the tension between them growing thicker by the second. His voice was soft but firm when he replied, "I’m not taking unnecessary risks, Obanai. I’ve got it under control."
Letting out a bitter laugh at the response, the snake pillar's eyes narrowed. "Under control? Really? Since when has anything been under control for us?" He took a step closer, his breath hitching as he tried to reign in the overwhelming tide of emotions. "I’m trying so fucking hard to keep us all alive," he said, his voice lower now, raw with the weight of his desperation. "But you, you guys, you make it so damn hard."
Giyu’s expression softened, just for a moment at that, and he sighed deeply, his shoulders dropping as the tension bled out of him. Stepping forward, reaching out to grab Obanai’s wrist, his fingers squeezing just enough to ground him. "If you really want to come," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper this time, "then come. I could use the help."
Blinking once, twice, momentarily thrown off by the unexpected concession Obanai couldn't help but gape. "What, really?"
Nodding, his fellow Hashira released his wrist as he straightened his posture. "Yes. If you're insisting on coming… fine. Just don’t push yourself too hard. This is just reconnaissance, not a full-scale battle. We’re not… we’re not losing anyone on this."
Obanai felt the tightness in his chest ease, just a little. His lips curled into a satisfied smirk under the bandages as he turned on his heel, already heading towards his room. "Good," he called over his shoulder. "I’m going to get ready. And if you even think about leaving without me, I’ll gut you navel to mouth."
An imperceptible snort of amusement followed at his wake, one that made Obanai’s chest feel lighter than it had in days. "I’ll wait," the other muttered loud enough for him to hear. "No gutting necessary."
Obanai didn’t look back, but a small, victorious smile tugged at his lips as he marched off. For once, things had gone his way. And he was so fucking pleased.
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The room was dark except for the soft flickering of the lantern, casting long shadows against the walls as Obanai hastily folded his haori, throwing it into his pack. He hadn't bothered with lighting any other lantern, knowing he would be out in short time and focusing instead on preparing thoroughly for the battle against the bitch who'd taken Tengen's arm in another lifetime. Oh and eye, let's not forget about the eye. Fuck that asshole.
His heart was still pounding in his chest from the argument earlier with Giyu. He'd been adamant; there was no way in hell he was letting Giyu go on this mission alone. Not after everything that had happened. Not after all they’d survived. Not with how different things where turning out this time around. They were slaughtering lower rooms at higher rate than ever before; Hashira going on more missions together; training together, learning and willing to help one another improve and it was all going well and yet------
His hands were shaking, the moment he stopped moving, the moment he allowed himself to think.
He couldn’t stop shaking.
Tying the pack closed, his mind replayed the argument, Giyu’s stiff, quiet protests, the way he'd barely made eye contact. Obanai had been one push away from snapping, screaming, pulling his hair out but then Giyu; damn him--had sighed and finally stopped. Not argued, just… stopped, and slotted his fingers around his wrist, squeezing as if to ground him.
As if he needed grounding, throwing the pack back on the ground he scoffed, voice hitching ever so slightly. He did not need to be fucking grounded thank you very much.
If you really want to come....then come. I could use the help.
The words had hit Obanai like a punch to the gut, the frustration and anger he’d been holding onto dissolving into something softer, something raw. Giyu’s acceptance, however reluctant, had knocked him off balance briefly. For he'd been there to argue, to be angry, to lash out, pathetic as it was to admit but finally getting what he wanted....all Obanai could do was march off.
'He’s not going without me. He’s not. I won’t let him.'
He glanced down at his hand, fingers still twitching unconsciously in front of him, as though trying to hold the world together, to hold them. All his idiots, keep them safe, keep them alive. He flexed them, curling them into a fist and squeezing, willing the trembling to stop.
The truth was, he wasn’t fine. His body wasn’t ready; he knew that. He still felt the ache of his memories, the crushing weight, the tightness in his chest whenever he moved too quickly. But none of that mattered because Giyu was walking into danger, and there was no one else to back him up. Sanemi was away on another mission, probably tearing through demons without a second thought. There was no one else; no one else but him.
And Giyu was too important. He couldn't lose him.
He couldn't.
The knock at the door was so soft he almost didn’t hear it, but it managed to break him out of his spiral and Obanai frowned. He straightened his back, willing his heartbeat to slow down. He wasn’t in the medical wing anymore; he’d been granted the privilege of his own room again, but not many knew that, so who could it be?
Another knock, louder this time.
Obanai opened the door cautiously, heart stuttering in his chest when he saw who was on the other side.
Shinobu.
She stood there, Kaburamaru curled loosely in her arms, looking at him with an unreadable expression. The same unreadable expression she'd worn ever since… ever since everything. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and for a moment, Obanai’s throat tightened painfully.
He hadn’t seen her like this in months. They’d been avoiding each other ever since the truth had come out, ever since he’d returned to the past, three months after Kanae's death.
Shinobu had barely spoken to him since.
His breath hitched as he stepped forward, his hands reaching for Kaburamaru who she'd presented to him without a word. The familiar weight of his friend grounded him almost immediately even as his chest ached. Kaburamaru hissed softly in recognition, curling tighter around him, and Obanai felt something heavy settle in his stomach.
''Thank you,'' he muttered, voice hoarse as he avoided her gaze.
Shinobu smiled, but again, it didn’t quite reach her eyes. ''I heard you’re accompanying Giyu on his reconnaissance mission.''
He nodded stiffly, the words lodged in his throat. How Giyu had found her so quickly and informed her of this he did not know but he wasn't all that surprised. They were close, they'd always been close. Briefly he wondered if him being here, so prominent in Giyu's life this time around had messed up their dynamic but he quickly shook the thought away. Clearly they were still as tight as ever. The water pillar having immediacy run off to tell on him as soon as he got the opportunity. Nope, he was not jealous. ''That is right,'' he managed to force out, not daring to look up from Kabumaru's scales. He didn’t know what else to say. Didn’t know how to explain that he had to go, that it wasn’t even about the mission anymore, it was about keeping the people he cared about alive. And, God, why did it hurt so much to be standing in front of her like this?
For a long time she let him stew in the silence, and he let the punishment linger. It was what he deserved after all, much more in fact, so much more but than she sighed, shuffling in place before speaking at last, making his eyes go wide at her words.
''Be safe,'' she said softly, her voice almost too gentle for the sharpness that lingered between them.
''I will,'' he replied automatically, even though his heart was screaming that nothing was ever safe for them. Not anymore.
She nodded again, clearly unwilling to stick around any longer, and turned as if to leave, but for some reason she stopped. Obanai didn't dare to breath as she lingered by the door, her hand resting on the frame for just a moment too long. Obanai’s fingers twitched against Kaburamaru’s scales, waiting for her to say something more; waiting for the judgment, for the resentment he’d always expected, wanted, craved, pleaded for----
Maybe Sabito would have travelled through time better. Maybe someone else would have managed to save Kanae too. Maybe someone else-----
But when she turned back to him, her smile had changed. It wasn't dead, it wasn't a mask, her eyes didn't reflect anger barely hidden, sadness and grief so deep it could drown a grown man. No, this smile, this little faint wisp of a smile managed to reach her eyes in its beauty, and yeah, it was so, so much more painful because of it. The weight of her gaze made something in his chest fracture, splintering apart like glass under pressure.
''I heard Kaburamaru kept my little sister company after the war,'' she said softly, and her voice cracked just enough for him to notice. It made him want to curl up into a ball and hide. ''Thank you.''
Obanai felt his breath catch in his throat, a surge of something overwhelming threatening to choke him. Kanao, she was talking about Kanao, but she was also talking about Kanae. His mind flashed back to memories, the weight of those days, the grief, the helplessness of knowing he’d failed to save her sister. He didn’t deserve her thanks. He didn’t deserve anything.
''You don’t have to thank me,'' he mumbled, barely keeping his voice steady. He tightened his hold on Kaburamaru, desperate for something to cling to, something to keep him from falling apart.
Shinobu’s eyes softened for some reason. Why, why? ''But I do,'' she insisted, and her tone was light, almost too casual for the gravity of her words. ''I have more than one sister, Obanai-san.'' This time when she smiled, her eyes closed and it transformed her little smile into a grin, all teeth and heart and he remembered how young she was when she was truly happy and he just.... he just....''So… thank you for trying to keep the ones I have left safe.''
For a moment, he couldn’t breathe.
She gave him one last look, something like acceptance shining behind them, before she turned and walked away, disappearing into the hallway.
Obanai stood frozen by the door, his heart pounding too hard in his chest, Kaburamaru’s weight a small comfort against the emptiness he suddenly felt.
His fingers twitched again, and when the first water droplet hit Kaburamaru’s scales, Obanai realized he was crying.
His vision blurred, and he squeezed his eyes shut, pressing Kaburamaru closer to his chest.
“I’m trying,” he whispered into the silence, voice breaking. ''I'm trying.''
And he was. He really, really was.
''I'm sorry Shinobu. I'm so so sorry.''