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Mukuro Ikusaba was not unfamiliar with nightmares. They had started when she had left Junko to join Fenrir when she was only 10, flashes of her sister and her parents in the modest hotel they were staying in, coated in blood and unbreathing. The regret for leaving would continuously eat at her and the fear of what would happen to her twin would sit with her daily, but her drill sergeants had drilled into her that emotions are weaknesses that haven’t gotten you killed yet. So as any normal 10 year old child soldier would do, she buried her emotions and strove to become the best soldier she could be.
Her next nightmares had begun when she was 12. She was deployed in a country she wasn’t even sure she could’ve located on a map 2 years prior with an AKM in her hands, a Beretta M9 in a holster on her waist, and even further down, a switchblade hidden in a sheath in her right sock. She was walking through what she had been sure was a town at some point when she had felt a pair of hands grab at her shoulders which were far too small for a girl her age. Before she could even stop to wonder what was going on, her M9 had been in her hand and the young boy had a jagged hole through his head where his left eye would be. Whatever rations she had left in her stomach was now coating the street in front of her and her shoes a disgusting tinge of brown. But she had made no noise, just a stare of shock.
Mukuro didn’t sleep well for a month after that.
The nightmares of the 14 year old Mukuro, now sporting the crest of the PMC she had signed up for on the back of her right hand, had once again involved her twin. Death and the gore of her co-workers (friends?) and innocents had no longer haunted her dreams. Exposure to the ilk day in and day out had made her numb to the hurt and pain of it, and so she continued her path of following orders.
She had earned a day off from patrol duty for the, particularly gruesome, assassination of some important figure in some war they (not her) were getting paid to continue. It wasn’t as if the grown men and women had wanted to spend time with a 14 year old who ran away from home just to fight, so the already reclusive Ikusaba had become something more. She became silent. Why speak when nobody would respond? Why cry out when nobody would care? She used to think that Junko had cared. But as her time in Fenrir continued, her belief that her sister had cared about her had all but disappeared.
Junko hadn’t sent her a letter, no messages in the press for her missing sister, no care packages of things to remind her to come home. She was a world famous model, why should she care about her “smelly, pig headed, ugly excuse of a sister”, as Junko had gracefully put it in one of their final conversations. But still, Mukuro could not help but to fear being forgotten by her sister, and until they saw each other again the sight of Junko Enoshima walking out of a large metal door and out of Mukuro Ikusaba’s life would stay in her nightmares.
16 year old Mukuro Ikusaba, for once in her life, did not have nightmares.
She had been reunited with the sister and the only person that she had loved. They would be able to grow up with each other. Their relationship was what sisters should be! They,(and by they, we of course mean Junko talked and Mukuro listened), discussed Yasuke Matsuda and Junko’s relationship with him, how disappointing Mukuro was, despair, the murder of their parents, despair, the end of the world, more despair. What else could you ask from your sister?
At 17, Mukuro Ikusaba wakes up shaking, not long after starting at the illustrious Hope’s Peak Academy, home to the elite of the elite. Super High School Level students are smattered the halls of the school, meandering from class to class, knowing that most of them will be able to ride on their admittance to the school for the rest of their lives. Short lives, likely, if her sister and her plans go as she knows Junko is, perfect.
For the first time in her life, a dream has woken her from her slumber. A pleasant dream at that!
Makoto Naegi. An average name for such an average person. There is nothing noteworthy about him aside from his enrollment at Hope’s Peak. A normal family, a normal house, a normal education, and yet the boy with an ahoge like a lightning bolt has somehow managed to have the SHSL Good Luck. Somehow, though, that wasn’t the most non-normal thing about Makoto Naegi.
Somehow, Mukuro winds up late for class, probably because the other half to the Despair Sisters stealing her alarm clock every other week. She half sprints out of the dorm rooms and into the main courtyard of the academy only to see a mop of brown hair moving in a shamble type of run when you’re only half awake but have things to do. The lucky student truly lives up to his name and reaches the main door to the school before she does, and as he turns around, Mukuro freezes into place.
Makoto Naegi is staring at her with the brightest (and maybe only?) smile that she’s ever seen, and she could swear his eyes sparkled in the sun as he looks back at her and holds the door open for her to enter first.
“Ah! Ikusaba-san! Are you late too then? I guess the bad luck caught me this morning.” Naegi had panted with a breathy laugh. “My alarm clock fell apart when I hit the snooze button this morning and I guess I fell asleep again before I realized. My luck must be good right now though, because I’m getting to talk to you!” he exclaimed, with an absent scratch at his cheek that he’s slightly puffed up.
"He looks like a cute rabbit. And his smile!!! He’s smiling at me! No one’s ever smiled at me before! What do I do? WHY IS MY HEART BEATING SO FAST??!? You need to breathe, soldier! It’s just a smile. BUT HIS EYES ARE TWINKLING TOO!" Mukuro quickly decided the voice in her head was no longer a viable thing to listen to as she had remained rooted in her spot staring down at the face of the lucky student. He was starting to tilt his head like a cute little cat does when its confused when Mukuro finally remembered what brain functions it took to walk in a straight line and quickly nodded at him with a muttered “thank you” and took off down the halls, careful to not meet his eyes. She did not want him seeing the same shade of red that their senior, Koizumi-san’s hair was splattered underneath her freckles.
The nightmares return when Mukuro turns 18. For once, they don’t include her sister leaving her or the death of an innocent kid looking for some food.
This time, they involve someone even more innocent than that.
Makoto. Goddamn. Naegi.
The most unassuming, herbivore man you could ever meet, as her sister would repeatedly say. To Mukuro, however, he was special. He was the only person to break through her walls and see her for herself and not care about the body count attached to her title as the Super High School Soldier.
She knew she shouldn’t, but she cared for him more than she would ever admit. Of course she knew what the symptoms of a crush was but she would never admit it to herself. A crush is an emotion and an emotion is just a weakness that hasn’t gotten you killed yet.
This nightmare did include her sister however, the first person she cared about more than anything else in the world, subjecting Naegi to her killing game she had spoken about since they were 16 and first gotten their admittance letters into Hope’s Peak. Naegi, the innocent boy who smiled at a stone cold killer and ate lunch with her and trusted her to catch him when Kuwata accidentally hits him on the shoulder too hard and he goes flying down the stairs. The nightmare scared Mukuro more than anything else had before. The nightmare scares Mukuro because it forces her to realize some hard facts very fast.
1. She doesn’t fully believe in the Despair the World plan as much as she thought she did.
2. Makoto Naegi is a very dangerous individual to associate with, especially with the Super High School Level Despair as your sister.
3. Mukuro Ikusaba is desperately in love with Makoto Naegi.
At 19, Mukuro Ikusaba has 1 pleasant dream mixed in with her nightmares. It falls on the night of December 23rd, the night before her and Junko are set to turn 20. 8 days away from when her and Junko are set to start the Killing School Life that they had been planning for as long as she can remember.
None of them can leave the school after The Tragedy and the crumble of the outside world and its toll is seen on her classmates. Mukuro may not have been the SHSL Analyst like her sister but she knew how to read people, especially the boy she loved the most. The tightness in his brows and his constant slumped posture made it clear he was worried about his family on the outside (if only he knew they were safe in Towa City being guarded by Nidai and Owari, not that they were still themselves.)
Yet despite his tension and his worry, he continued to be a force of positivity for their class and keep morale high, even in the tough times they found themselves in.
And that extended to her as well. Naegi had somehow managed to find a small white rabbit hair pin that she had mentioned liking once and bought it for her, before the school was locked down and they couldn't get anything. He had also pulled out a halfway frayed but homemade thread doll of the same white rabbit, with a small green flak helmet on its head. He had smiled his same smile and told her happy birthday and how safe he felt being locked inside with her there to protect him. Mukuro had almost cried then, knowing that in 8 days his trust would be broken. But she accepted the hairpin and the doll graciously and promised to protect him from whatever would happen next.
She knew Junko wouldn’t excuse him from her game. She had already asked many times only to be met with being called a disappointment.
But she would still try and protect him how she could.
She wore the hairpin in the costume of her sister. She knew he wouldn’t remember her or recognize the pin. He had already forgotten everything else. But maybe, she could steal a little of his talent and get lucky.
The stuffed rabbit doll appears in the hoard of Monokumas as she pushes herself off of Ogami and towards her freedom. THEIR freedom. She quickly snags him, dutifully named Mako, as effortlessly as she grabs the escape button and Mukuro Ikusaba walked out of a large metal door and attempted to get as far away from Junko Enoshima’s life as she could.
At age 20, Mukuro Ikusaba has the most vivid nightmares of her life. The worst part is that she knows they are real. They have happened.
She witnessed Naegi sacrifice his innocence and his self preservation to save her from death from her former twin. She witnessed him take a Spear of Gungnir for her. To save her life. She witnessed him cough up blood onto her white shirt as he stared down as her and asked her why she had dressed up as her sister. She heard the splat he made as the spear retracted itself from his body and he hit the floor. She heard the muffled cries from Fujisaki and Maizono and even the shocked gasps from Ishimaru and Ludenburg. But nothing would ring through her mind more than the high pitched laughter of that DAMNED bear and the cry of 10 years of repressed pain that tore from her like a harpy as she thought one of the 2 people she loved in the world was dead and she could do…
“Mukuro! Mukuro, wake up! I’m right here Mukuro!” Makoto called out to the sleeping form of the SHSL Soldier that was screaming and thrashing around in the bed in the tiny apartment they could find. Future Foundation had only agreed to let Mukuro go into a semblance of freedom as long as she had a member of her class or of the Foundation with her. Makoto had, of course, refused to let her be alone in the wake of everything she had known crashing down around her and so as she slept on the queen sized bed, Makoto had been sleeping on the couch.
As the soldier finally creeped her gray eyes open to see the face of Makoto Naegi staring down at her with his hand holding one of her arms that had held Mako in it and the other resting on her cheek, her breathing slowed down slightly. As Makoto had released his hold on her arm but kept his hand on her face, he softly asked, “Another bad dream?”
Mukuro nodded in what felt like a pitiful motion and quickly threw her arms around him as she let out a small sob and squeezed him far tighter than he could take. “I- I… I thought you had died Makoto! What would I have done if I got you killed!?” She had all but yelled into his shoulder as her tears wet his t-shirt and his neck.
Makoto had been running his hands through her soft black hair that she had still kept in the bob she had always had when he had an idea. Not his brightest idea but one nonetheless.
“What if I stayed in the bed with you so you knew I was still here? Then you know I haven’t gone anywhere and maybe you can get a full night's sleep for once since we escaped?” He had asked her quickly, refusing to meet her eyes as the color of Koizumi’s hair passed through his entire face, neck, and ears.
Mukuro was not faring much better as her eyes widened and she stared at him, dumbfounded. “Would you really do that for me, Makoto?” She asked the lucky boy sitting beside her in a subdued tone, not sure what she had done to earn such kindness from this special boy to her again and again.
“Of course Mukuro! You saved my life! More times than I can probably remember…” He exclaimed, looking more than a little sheepish as he had stood up and grabbed his pillow off the couch and tossed it onto the bed.
Makoto was out and asleep before she even knew it and as Mukuro rolled onto her back to fall asleep, she had rolled a little further and planted a light kiss onto the back of Makoto’s head and whispered “You saved my life too Makoto. I love you.”
And suddenly, Makoto wasn’t asleep like she thought he was as he rolled over and wrapped her in his arms. He smiled his bright smile and his eyes twinkled as he planted a light kiss to the tip of her nose. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen him so happy in her entire time knowing him. Finally he rolled back over to where she was spooning him and said the words she had been longing to hear from anyone her whole life. She felt her eyes water and finally, the soldier felt peace.
“I love you too, Mukuro.”
There weren’t any more nightmares after that.