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He knows this is it. The prognosis hadn't been good to start with and while they had done their best, there was nothing more that could be done. There would be no magical rescue, no futuristic cure, nothing. It was terrifying.
Mary had flown in, visiting intermittently during his hospitalization as he tried to keep a brave face. The team had visited as well. Kono and Chin flew in from the mainland, peppering him with gifts and as much support as they could muster.
He was thankful for the well-wishes, the inevitable jungle from all of the flowers and plants he'd received, even the calls from old acquaintances near and far, but what he wants, what he truly needs, is someone at his side. Someone who's not put off when his hair falls out, when he vomits on himself for the tenth time, when he's too weak to wash himself. Someone he can be vulnerable with and not fear their reaction.
He regrets not being there for Aunt Deb when she was going through this hell. He'd sent the team home, not wanting to bore them with his illness, gritted his teeth and letting the tears silently fall as the nurses tended to him.
He startles at the knock on the doorframe, glancing over to see Danny. He looks tired. Old. As if he's aged years overnight.
"Hey." he starts, voice wavering. His eyes are bloodshot, face raw from where he's been rubbing the tears from his face.
"I thought I sent you home." Steve tries for casual, but there's a waver in his own voice too. He doesn't want Danny to leave, wants his friend to argue and fight, to insist he stay.
Danny laughs, hollow and dry.
"Yea. Yea, you did," He nods, pulling up a chair, hand interlocking with Steve's, "but we both know that's bullshit."
"Yea." Steve nods, allowing Danny to wipe the tears from his face.
"Self-sacrificing bitch." Danny complains, but there's no heat to it. Only fondness.
Steve laughs wetly, hand clasping Danny's tightening.
"What are you crying 'bout?" Steve tries for levity, "not like you're the one dying."
Danny looks away, taking a steadying breath before looking back.
"I guess they call it anticipatory grief," he manages, letting out a hollow laugh, "which is stupid. Like, when did grief get all fancy on us, right?"
"No less real." Steve insists. He hates that he's causing this. Causing so much pain to his loved ones.
"No. No, you're right." Danny agrees, nodding. He wipes his eyes with the back of his other hand, never letting go of Steve's.
"I'm going to miss you." Danny admits, lower lip tightening to stop himself from losing his composure.
"I'm going to miss you too." Steve replies. It's the truth. He's never been religious, doesn't really know if there's anything after this.
"I'm terrified." He admits, breath catching as he sobs.
Danny doesn't reply, simply helps Steve shift to the side so Danny can lay on the bed next to him, pulling him up so Steve can lay his head on Danny's chest.
"I love you." Danny says, arm wrapping behind Steve's back in a comforting embrace.
"Love you too, Danny." Steve replies, fatigue settling over him as he rests, the strong beat of Danny's heart under his hear settling him.
In the morning, Danny makes the notifications. The flag is given to Mary at the funeral as they lay Steve to rest next to his father.
Danny hangs back after the ceremony, kneeling down to touch the headstone.
"Good bye, Steve."