Work Text:
The Doctor's life is inherently bound to chaos—to change. He likes to tell himself that he has come into terms with that, but then, it creeps up to him again. The loneliness. Then he drowns.
After all, the humans he usually take with him is only a blink of an eye compared to his lifetime. They leave. They get lost. They die.
As the dematerialization resonates all over the TARDIS, he can't help but sink. Sink into the feeling. He's alone, again. Hasn't he learned his lesson, after all these years?
This crueling cycle of beginnings and endings should've driven the Doctor to the conclusion that he must accept this chaos. Never stay in one place. Never hold it tight. It won't be there forever. It'll drive him mad.
But then, here he is again. He finds himself gripping—his knuckles reddening in its grasp, his nails burying deep—to hope. To promise. To people.
Fools will tell you to cherish the present moment. "It's the only moment you can control," they lie through their insultingly wide grins. It's all an illusion. The present moment doesn't care if you yearn, beg, or plead for it to last a little longer. Not even a renegade Time Lord, one with a time machine, one who'd fought with gods and demons, could defy the fleeting moment that is time.
And yet, in all that chaos—out of all the people that had loved him, that he had loved—there is only one true constant.
This constant doesn't always stay, ironically enough. But, it's there. Always. They meet, sometimes. They will leave sooner or later, of course, but with the subconscious assurance that they will return again later—whether they like it or not. Their lives—through deaths, through regenerations—seemingly intertwined.
Planets; societies; people have burned in their constant, dangerous dance. A fire.
An indestructible, inextinguishable fire.
The Doctor will have his opportunity to mourn now. To sulk. To bask in the loneliness. To remember. To, once again, honor those that have died in his arms. To look back at those he had left behind. To regret those he hadn't loved enough.
However, once the burning of worlds, the pain, the anguish, and the beating of the drums return, he will be reminded that he never is truly left alone.
