Chapter Text
Family is a concept that Mysaria doesn’t truly understand. Her fleeting memories of a time when she had a family are scattered and tormented by what became of that family. One day she remembers her sweet and nurturing mother explaining the various birds that would come to their window searching for scrapes. The next, all she remembers is a man pressing her down into a bed covering her with his overpowering musk as sweat drips off of him staining her bruised flesh. Her body is now littered with scars of what her supposed family had done to her. Stealing away her youth and innocence. Robbing her of girlhood and a chance to flourish into a different kind of person.
Families are turbulent full of betrayal and despair. A never-ending cycle of tragedy, loss and deception. It’s one of the reasons she never allowed anyone to grow close to her. Her life was already difficult enough as it was. Why risk bringing such unnecessary complications into it.
That was of course until Rhaenyra somehow managed to worm her way under every wall and shield Mysaria had built around her heart. The future Queen wasted no time in settling in and craving out a spot of her own in Mysaria’s chest. A place that grew and grew as Rhaenyra’s family burrowed in right there with her.
Getting involved with the crown Princess was a stupid idea. She knew that the moment Rhaenyra Targaryen entered her life. Yet nothing could have prepared her for Rhaenyra. A princess who earned the name the Realm’s Delight for her unmatched beauty was also a kind and compassionate person. A woman with a deadly tongue who is more than happy to lay a barbed insult to those who have offended her or just as easily throw out endless witty comments that have her trying to hide her amusement.
The first time the two of them had ended up in bed together limbs tangled as the fire of their entanglement consumed each other in a blazing passion she had never experienced with a lover before was not planned. They had only been working together for two moons trying to help improve the lives of the people of King’s Landing by joining forces following Otto Hightower being exiled from the city.
But from that first night together they have barely spent a night apart since. That was almost ten years ago. Most nights it’s her sneaking into the Red Keep through the secret passageways until she ends up in the Princesses chambers and slips into Rhaenyra’s waiting arms. Other nights it’s Rhaenyra sneaking out of the castle to climb into her bed when the vultures in the Red Keep become too much for her to bear.
Still, the knocking on the door in the middle of the night takes Mysaria off guard. Rhaenyra was called away last minute to an urgent small council meeting as winter has come earlier then expected and many houses were not fully prepared for the harshness of the winter months. Her pregnant lover grumbled as she was made to get redressed and leave the room littering her face in kisses before departing.
So, it begs the question who is knocking on the Princesses door in the middle of the night when the Princess isn’t here. Quickly pulling on a warm robe Mysaria pads her way over to the door ready to play patient servant waiting for the Princess's return to help her dress should the person on the other side not be one of those trusted with their relationship.
She had thought about ignoring the knocking but as time passed the gentle knocks only turned more frantic in their pounding. Opening the chamber door slowly she is surprised to see not a guard or servant as she was expecting but instead Prince Lucerys in his sleep clothes with big red puffy eyes. “Lucerys.”
“Mysaria.” He wails diving forward latching on to her and burying his head into her stomach as fresh tears begin to trickle down his cheeks.
“Lucerys.” She repeats a tad bit higher pitched at the shock of the young prince showing up here and clutching on to her as if she was about to disappear from him. Shutting the chamber door behind him Mysaria’s own maternal instincts kick in as she encloses the small trembling boy in a hug. “What’s wrong my Prince.”
Gasping in between breaths Lucerys high pitched voice croaks out. “Is Mother going to die Mysaria.”
Bewildered as to why the six-year-old is asking such a question she asks, “What... why do you ask that.” She has no idea why Lucerys would suddenly think Rhaenyra was about to die. If anyone is close to death within this highly dysfunctional family, it would be the King. Maybe Alicent if she continues to wage this one sided war against Rhaenyra and her children.
Lucerys only holds on to Mysaria tighter at her question. “Because I overheard Aemond and Aegon talking about how mother could die when the new baby comes.” He wheezes out pulling back slightly to peer up at her with big watery purple eyes the same shade as his mother and grandmother Aemma Arryn. “They said grandmother is surely praying for it. But I don’t want mother to die. Mysaria we can’t let Mother die.”
Grandmother is praying for it... Alicent Hightower is praying for Rhaenyra to die during childbirth... she will deal with that later right now she has to focus on Lucerys.
Shushing the young prince she has watched grow from the shadows she lives in she hugs him tighter stroking his curly dark hair that matches his grandmother the Princess Rhaenys taking after the Baratheon side of his family. Though Rhaenyra argues it’s the Arryn side he takes most after. As her cousin the Lady Jenye Arryn has the same hair and cheekbones.
Both Rhaenyra and Laenor have made the joke that Luke takes after her as well. A thought that both filled her heart with joy and utterly destroyed it at the same time. Jacaerys and Lucerys will be the closest she ever gets to having children of her own. But even then, she has to spend most of their lives watching from a distance with very limited interactions with them.
Something she knows Rhaenyra hates as well but it’s for her lover's safety that their relationship remains hidden from others. There are already enough rumours fabricated by the Greens aimed at delegitimating both Jacaerys and Lucerys. According to Alicent Hightower and her many followers Jacaerys was sired by Daemon while Lucerys was sired by Ser Harwin. Lies meant to ruin Rhaenyra’s reputation.
Rumours she quickly put a stop to in King’s Landings reminding everyone that Aegon was born only eight moons after Alicent’s marriage to King Viserys after spending many nights alone unchaperoned in the King’s bed chambers all beginning on the night of Queen Aemma’s and Prince Baelon’s funerals.
Rhaenyra might be trying to keep the peace between the Greens and the Blacks, but Mysaria made no such promises. And if the Greens desire to target her family, then you can bet that Mysaria will use everything at her disposal to destroy thoughts against them. The first time she heard the lies being spread by the Queen Mysaria was incandescent and Laenor later admitted that he feared her more then the wrath of the dragons. All the while Rhaenyra was drinking her in with that damn lopsided smile that never fails to warm her heart.
But she can plot to shatter what little pleasures Alicent has in the Red Keep later. “Lucerys listen to me.” She begins making sure she has the youngest of Rhaenyra and Laenor’s children attention before continuing. “Your mother is the strongest person I know. And there is not a force on earth that could ever tear her away from you and your brother.” She would love to tell him that nothing is going to happen to Rhaenyra, but childbirth has always been a dangerous place for women. More so than a battlefield.
The first time Rhaenyra went into labour they had only been in their relationship for about a year. Still so early for them and the entire time Rhaenyra was a hysterical mess. She and Laenor tried to be there for her the best they could, but Rhaenyra saw the history of women in her family. Her mother and both grandmothers all died on the birthing bed. Her own mother was butchered open for a son who died within a day.
When Rhaenyra went into labour for that reason, she refused to have any maesters nearby. Replying purely on her midwives. Mysaria herself had to sneak in pretending to be a servant just to be in the same room as her and stood on the other side of Laenor who was doing his best to help soothe her while she watched only stroking a rag across her head to wipe the sweat away. Neither she nor Laenor could allow themselves to show just how terrified they were for her. They had to be her support system.
When Jacaerys finally came screaming into the world a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. A weight that grew less and less in the coming days and Rhaenyra showed no sign of deadly fatigue or fever.
With Luke, everything was a bit easier. Again, only midwives were in the room but she time she didn’t have to pretend to be anything else other than Rhaenyra’s lover. Clutching onto one of her hands softly while Rhaenyra almost crushed Laenor’s.
Both times were worrisome, but Rhaenyra pulled through with relative ease both times. And she sees no reason why a third would be any different. A sentiment she prays holds true. “Your mother isn’t going to be dying anytime soon Lucerys. That I can assure you.”
It’s not really a lie. Rhaenyra is still a good few moons away from giving birth. So, she isn’t going to be at risk anytime soon.
Lucerys keeps crying into her stomach but slowly his tears start to slow, and his breathing starts to return to normal. “My... Mysaria.”
“Yes, my Prince.”
Lucerys hesitates biting onto his bottom lip. A habit he inherited from his mother when she is busy fretting about something. Rhaenyra’s other habit of playing with her rings was taken by Jacaerys. “Are you my mother as well.”
Mysaria’s eyes widen at the innocent question. The implication of it leaving her open mouthed as the words repeat endlessly around her head. Her father killed any thought of her ever being a mother. Stripped her of that right and ruined the idea of what a family is for her. Rhaenyra’s love and patience brought back many things to her. Made parts of her she long since believed to have died or were forever broken beyond repair come alive.
Trust in others was first. Quickly followed by the ease of a fluttering heart around the silver haired princess she grew to desire in a way none of her clients ever could. To make fucking not seem like a task but something she wanted from her lover. To share parts of them that others can never see. Safe was next. A complicated feeling for her after spending so many years afraid and unable to ever trust anyone. The feeling of safety Rhaenyra began to represent made her feel unnerved. Her lover went out of her way to always make sure she was protected and cared for.
Love caught her the most of guard. Though given everything else Rhaenyra had made her feel by then she should have expected that her traitorous heart would forget every promise she ever made to herself and jump into Rhaenyra’s hands wanting to feel loved and cared for by the extraordinary woman she willingly shared her bed with for more than just sex.
The idea of creating a family with Rhaenyra though always haunted her. She always knew that the moment she crossed that line there would be no going back. That her heart would no longer be split just two ways but so many more. So many that leave her exposed to vulnerabilities and emotions she was not prepared to encounter.
She loves Jacaerys and Lucerys. She has since the moment Rhaenyra put the swindled babes in her arms and she looked down seeing Rhaenyra staring back at her. But she always believed that her love for them would be a shadow. Something they are aware of but something that can never see the light of day. To be exposed to people for fear of backlash. And she was content with that. She wasn’t the boy's mother or father but she could protect them just as much. Forever watching over them but never seen.
Yet now with one of the young hatchlings asking her this question she is stumped on how to answer that. “What.” She chokes out eyes darting around the room for prying ears or praying for Rhaenyra’s return to handle this situation.
Lucerys continues obliviously to the internal struggle being wagged within Mysaria. “You and mother are in love like husband and wives are. Does that mean you're also my mother.” His big purple almost puppy like eyes gaze into her own dark one begging for her to say yes. To lay a claim upon him just as a dragon does its hatchlings. “We even have the same hair,” Lucerys adds on as if that statement alone makes everything make sense.
Unable to give him the answer he so desires and refusing to make that call herself she pushes the question on to her lover for a later date. “I think that’s a question you should be asking your mother, my Prince.”
“I am,” Lucerys replies confounded but still firm in his belief. His small head mimicking that of a confused puppy tilting its head. “I’m asking you.”
Her heart stops beating for a few moments as Lucerys words wash over her. Only to then be kickstarted into racing so quickly it feels like it is beats away from bursting through her chest. Lucerys already sees her as a second mother. He thinks of her in this way but wants her to assure him that he is correct. “Your other mother then.” She acknowledges without outright agreeing to it. A small smile poking at the corner of her lips at the insinuation.
One that Lucerys beams back at her before sleepily rubbing at his eyes. “Can I stay here until Mother returns.” He yawns out.
“Sure.” She agrees leading him over to the bed and tucking him in making sure he is all nice and tucked away. “Goodnight Mysaria love you.” He mumbles just as sleep comes to slip him away.
Leaning down she presses a light kiss to his forehead. “I love you too Lucerys.” She whispers back stroking his dark curls before heading over to Rhaenyra’s desk intending to wait until she returns to talk about what just happened. About stepping into a bigger role with their kids.