Chapter Text
No pain, no gain, Wooyoung repeats to himself as he climbs the ladder into his bunk, his legs threatening to give out with each step. Muscles on fire, he keeps groaning loudly, making sure his roommates know all about his excruciating pain.
“Shut up, Wooyoung!” Daeho yells from the other side of the room, voice scratchy with sleep.
“You sound like my grandpa,” Yeosang says—much more measured—from the bottom bunk.
“Maybe I am your grandpa,” Wooyoung says, raising a loud howl for Daeho’s sake as he settles on the mattress.
“Maybe. He’s always the life of the colatecs. Even your moves are similar.”
Wooyoung smirks. “You’re just jealous and you know it.”
“Sure, halbi.”
“Yah!” He swats his hand downwards, with minimal effort. “Be polite!”
Yeosang only hums. As if on cue, Daeho starts snoring again. Wooyoung doesn’t have the 2am brain cells to keep taking jabs—and his legs really fucking hurt—so he falls quiet, too.
He’s been prepared to pay a price for the upcoming break but Wooyoung didn’t expect their teachers to be quite so brutal with it: over six hours, one break, and a jump rope finisher. Maybe it was their warning. A reminder that Wooyoung shouldn’t eat his weight in jeon, shouldn’t neglect his stretches, and definitely shouldn’t stay in Ilsan any longer than necessary—if a day of dance practice could wipe him out like this, there was a lot of training left to do.
Worth it, though he’d never admit it out loud. Wooyoung will complain about it for days to come, but he’ll finally get to see his family.
His phone buzzes just as he’s thinking of the present he got for Kyungmin—a xylophone their parents will surely love—and he reaches into the hiding spot behind his mattress. He puts the phone back almost as quickly. With the state of him, Wooyoung’s not in the mood to jerk off. At 2am, the pickings are slim anyway, and the last thing he wants to deal with is some collarbone fetish weirdo again.
But the new message makes him curious.
dumspiro
u should wash up
sunnysideup
Excuse me?
It’s the guy Wooyoung matched with two days ago: someone his age, with a golden badge proclaiming him a new user, and a photo of a dog plushie set as his profile pic. The dog has a sad brown stain on its nose, like the owner made it dig through dirt, which was the only reason Wooyoung swiped right. The rest of the guy’s profile is basically blank.
dumspiro
the dirt
it’s not very attractive
unless you’re saying you like to toss salad
in which case
i respect your game! 💪
but i feel sorry for the plushie
Five minutes pass without a reply and Wooyoung’s eyelids grow heavy. He’s about to put the phone back when it vibrates again, with the same words as before.
sunnysideup
Excuse me??
I don’t like salads…
His name is Shiber
My friend smudged him when we were eating jjajangmyeon
Wooyoung muffles the scoff that rises up his throat, turning onto his belly.
dumspiro
you know
you could fix that
with some soap
sunnysideup
Yeah, but I wasn’t the one who got him dirty
So…
dumspiro
are you 12?
because if u are
u shouldn’t be heeere
trust me
i’m basically grandpa-aged 😝
sunnysideup
No, I’m 18
(ծ_o)
It says you’re 17 on your profile…
dumspiro
people can lie on the internet, sunny
sunnysideup
Oh
dumspiro
but you’re lucky
i’m an honest egg!
😗
Again, the guy goes quiet. Wooyoung’s hand twitches when he hears a low buzz, unlocking his phone, only to realise the sound must’ve come from Yeosang’s own secret phone hidden between the planks. He makes a note to tease him about it in the morning—who’s texting you at two in the morning, flirt?—and then the guy finally messages Wooyoung back.
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋ
To be honest, this is my first time using an app like this
I just picked a random photo
dumspiro
it’s cute
dirt aside!
sunnysideup
Thanks ^^
dumspiro
buuut
a pro tip
with a pic like that
no bio
no preferences
not even your location visible?
ppl are not likely to message you
sunnysideup
You messaged me…
dumspiro
ㅎㅎㅎ
well yes
but i’m special like that
Wooyoung’s own profile is a carefully curated mix of little truths and minor deceptions. There are things he can easily divulge, like the fact that he’s 170cm, not interested in relationships, but open to dick pics. He lists dancing as an interest, not feeling like he can lie about such a vital part of his life, but cushions it between sports he’s never even played and leaves out singing completely. His profile pic is cropped to only show him from neck to chest, black-and-white. Not the most exciting, but Wooyoung’s found the combination of neck veins and collarbones does wonders to pique interest.
sunnysideup
I can’t show my face
Anyway…
I don't think I’ll be using this app much
I was just feeling lonely
ㅠㅠ
You can ask me questions if you want
Hm.
It’s nothing unusual for a guy to message about being lonely. About needing someone to distract him, needing someone who could make him feel better, someone who could warm his bed. Inexplicably, Wooyoung has a feeling this guy doesn’t mean it like that—that he means lonely in the way hugging a dirty plushie cannot solve.
Wooyoung yawns, looking off into the darkness of the room like he’s checking that there’s nobody to judge him. With his usual late night chats, he rarely cares, relying on the silent understanding of what it means to share a dorm with a bunch of sexually-frustrated teens. He props his pillow up against the headboard, stifling a noise as he sits up and his muscles scream for help again.
He’s less likely to fall asleep this way.
dumspiro
okkk!
are u a secret agent?
sunnysideup
What?
No
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
dumspiro
are u a secret grandpa?
it’s fine if u are
grandpa solidarity
sunnysideup
Nope
dumspiro
maybe u have a face rash?
or a terrible scar?
sorry if that’s insensitive
sunnysideup
You’re not great at guessing
dumspiro
oh i am 😉
The guy on the other side could be a creep. He could be someone playing jokes on unsuspecting strangers who just happen to be awake in the middle of the night. He could be a girl doing this on a dare, an employee running a product check to make sure the app is working, or just a figment of Wooyoung’s exhaustion-fuelled imagination.
His gut feeling tells him it’s much more obvious than that.
dumspiro
are u an idol trainee?
The prickliest question Wooyoung could ask, KakaoTalk distracts him while he waits for the reply.
If his guess is correct and it’s the guy’s first time on a similar app, he must be freaking out. There are countless other trainees out there, some more discreet than others, but it doesn’t change the fact that they shouldn’t be. Most of them can’t even have a phone. Chatting up other guys, trading pictures, some even meeting up…
Wooyoung finds the whole thing exciting and he’s got three-factor authentication set up on his account, knowing to watch his back.
sunnysideup
Okie
I take it back
You’re really good at guessing…
He smiles at the message.
dumspiro
yep yep
takes one to know one!
sunnysideup
O o O
Oh wow
Really?
What are the odds?
dumspiro
pretty high tbh
we have neeeeeds
we can’t date
but its low stakes here
we can have fun!
and never have to meet 😙
sunnysideup
I’m sorry if I gave the wrong impression…
I’m not really looking for
That
The mental image Wooyoung’s made of the other boy—a smudged face holding the smudged stuffed dog in his arms—is practically flushing. Wooyoung would bet good money on not being too far off from reality, and he taps out his response with an all-out grin.
Something about the exchange makes him feel like he’s the senior, despite their profiles saying otherwise, bestowing valuable life advice. Or, corrupting an innocent soul.
He likes both alternatives.
dumspiro
don’t worryyy
didn’t think you were
but it’s good to know
you have the option, no?
sunnysideup
I guess so
dumspiro
honestly
before getting the app
i didn’t realise
how many gay trainees there are
😆
we’re everywhere!
Two minutes pass without a response and Wooyoung realises he’s swiping his thumb over the screen to keep it from turning black, waiting for the three typing dots to appear. It’s stupid. His dad will be picking him up in less than six hours and Wooyoung still hasn’t packed.
The notion of waking up—having to get used to his whole body aching all over again—makes Wooyoung consider an all-nighter. What better way to start his holidays than sleeping in the car?
sunnysideup
I’m sorry
I’m not into guys
Wooyoung’s smile falls. He shuffles on the bed again, making the whole bunk creak, and Yeosang grumbles something in his sleep.
dumspiro
><
well then
if ur just looking for friends
u should put that in your bio
or go change your settings
so only girls
can match with u
He’s not annoyed, nor disappointed, but he feels a little baffled about the whole exchange. Suddenly, the wise old mentor shtick doesn’t fit. It sours Wooyoung’s mood, making him yawn again, and the fact that the other guy doesn’t reply for over ten minutes makes him reconsider catching a quick four hours.
dumspiro
also
if u have other matches
u should let them know!
i don’t mind
but it’s just good manners
He closes the app and puts down his phone. Unlocks it again.
dumspiro
u probably got them all excited
with ur profile pic
so definitely set the record straight!
pun intended
ㅎㅎㅎ
Because he can’t be sure his friends aren’t suffering from a bout of insomnia, Wooyoung checks his socials one more time. When he sees they aren’t, the clock passes three, and his phone doesn’t buzz with a new message… There’s no point waiting any longer.
He puts it back into its hiding spot and goes to sleep.
*
Under normal circumstances, the drive home from Seoul takes less than an hour. Wooyoung often thinks about how nice it will be, once he gets a licence, his schedule clears up a little, and he can make surprise visits. To see his family, yes, but also to make sure his room hasn’t become storage for his father’s knicknacks.
“You look tired,” the man says, glancing at Wooyoung in the passenger seat. “Were you up all night playing games?”
Wooyoung snorts, closing his eyes. “Appa. You know we can’t even have phones!”
His father hums. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, eyeing the unmoving line of traffic ahead of them. They’ve been stuck between a lime-green Volvo and a honk-obsessed old Kia for the last twenty minutes, and Wooyoung can see that it’s starting to wear his father’s patience thin. For Wooyoung, it’s clearly a sign to nap.
He rests his elbow on the window sill, forehead against the glass. Has Yeosang made it home yet? Is Seojoon sitting in a jam somewhere, too, making it through level after level of Candy Crush on his mum’s phone, because his own got confiscated? Is the plushie guy also cursing his bad sleep decisions?
Wooyoung’s phone vibrates in his pocket.
sunnysideup
Hey
I’m sorry 🙁
He smiles despite himself. At this point, the guy has apologised to Wooyoung more than all his dorm mates combined—and they were the ones regularly stealing his snacks.
sunnysideup
I wasn’t completely honest
I might also like guys
I think
I’m still figuring it out…
You just took me by surprise
>.<
“No phones, hm?” Wooyoung’s father says, smirking at him sideways.
The universe must be in Wooyoung’s favour though, because the line of cars starts moving just then, the honks of the Kia drowning out any further teasing. Wooyoung shuffles in his seat, angling the screen away from his dad.
dumspiro
hey, egg sheeran!
good to hear from you 😊
sunnysideup
Excuse me?
That, again. Wooyoung has a lot of mentoring to do.
dumspiro
your username?
as a trainee
i also assume you sing
ㅎㅎㅎ
sunnysideup
Yeah
dumspiro
there’s your answer!
anyway
no need to apologise ok
sunnysideup
You were right though
About bad manners
dumspiro
nahhh
u should do whatever feels right for u
chat up guys
ogle them
or just delete the app altogether!
all up to youuu
sunnysideup
You’re really nice…
Wooyoung holds back a snort, covering his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He can tell his dad is looking at him with a suspicious frown, but Wooyoung doesn't pay it any attention.
dumspiro
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
oh sunnyboy
my friends would tell u
u couldn’t be more wrong
This time around, the guy doesn’t take ages between each response, keeping Wooyoung occupied even as the traffic slows again. Perhaps the late night hour was to blame, perhaps he’s feeling a bit bolder, or perhaps he’s also bored out of his mind at an airport or in the backseat of a rackety Kia.
Wooyoung knows he can cross off the last option—the only person in the car behind them is an elderly man in a suit—but the possibility that the boy could be stuck in the same traffic jam is fun to entertain...
sunnysideup
I’m not going home this year
ㅠㅠ
...there goes the fantasy.
sunnysideup
We have practice in the evening
And two classes tomorrow…
dumspiro
on chuseok???
damnnnn
what company are u with
they sound diabolical
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
They’re not so bad!
We have two days off next week
My family’s coming over
And they’re bringing Byeol, too 😊
dumspiro
byeol?
The guy answers with a photo: a Siamese cat laying in a patch of sunlight, big blue eyes staring straight into Wooyoung’s soul. He perks up even more, spamming the guy with excited emojis and questions about everything from Byeol’s favourite snacks (tuna and chicken Churu) to whether the guy has ever tasted catnip (???).
dumspiro
wish i could have a cat
sunnysideup
One day!!
dumspiro
idk
i probably shouldn't have one
as an idol
too busy
sunnysideup
Yeah…
I haven’t seen Byeol since last September
dumspiro
ㅠㅠ
no pets
no dating
no galbijjim
why are we doing this to ourselves
Wooyoung’s joking, of course, and he expects the other guy to get it.
These are the sacrifices they have signed up for, the little and big annoyances that come with pursuing the idol dream. For every complaint Wooyoung has about his training—and he’s got lots, starting with the way his thighs still burn when he bends at the knee—there are just as many reasons why he’d never quit.
Wooyoung feels the most like himself when he’s performing. When he masters a difficult move, when people cheer for him, when he forgets himself and becomes one with the music; getting to do that for a living is well worth the compromises.
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
You should still have some galbijjim if you like it
Some pets are pretty independent…
Like geckos
dumspiro
right
ill get a cockroach
sunnysideup
Noooooo
Cockroaches are disgusting
ㅠㅠ
dumspiro
i could dress it up
the big
hissing kind
sunnysideup
Why though
ㅠㅠ
dumspiro
low maintenance!
sunnysideup
Anyway...
Lots of idols date in secret
dumspiro
true
id never want to date an idol
sunnysideup
Isn’t that
A little unfair??
dumspiro
nope
i’m not an idol yet
i’m not dating anyone
i’m not sadistic
just thinking about it
gives me a headache
It’s the name of the game: even straight idols have trouble being open about their relationships, and there is no way Wooyoung could date another male idol and survive the backlash. The idea of romance appeals to him the same way his parents getting a jacuzzi would. It’s just not worth considering because it can’t happen.
Somewhere in the distant future—when Wooyoung no longer has to spend every day fighting to keep his trainee spot—he can maybe find an ordinary man with an ordinary career, like a teacher or an office worker. Then, he can maybe introduce the man to his family and closest friends. With how busy the idol schedule gets, Wooyoung isn’t sure how they'll meet. He’s even less sure the relationship will last, given the need for secrecy and his dating inexperience. But maybe the imaginary man will be amazing and understanding and make Wooyoung change his mind.
He’s not too worried, and safe from heartbreak. In his current reality, Wooyoung’s happy to get by with virtual hook-ups and the occasional booty call.
sunnysideup
You’re not afraid you’ll get caught?
dumspiro
that’s part of the thrill
ㅎㅎㅎ
nothing beats a forbidden quickie
in the showers
or actually!
a blowjob in the practice room
is good too
Just as expected, Wooyoung doesn’t get a fast reply. He smirks, trying to get the guy flustered and obviously succeeding. The way he’s twisted in his seat to angle the phone away from his dad is verging on ridiculous, but Wooyoung isn’t paying attention to his surroundings anymore. They’re still stuck outside Ilsan. The only part of the scenery that’s moving are the trees, swinging back and forth with the wind.
dumspiro
i’m just kidding
jk
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
i can hear you frowning i swear
sunnysideup
ˇᴖˇ
Are you not afraid
Someone could let it slip?
dumspiro
nah
ive only been with guys
i knew i could trust
definitely not in public
and a bit of adrenaline
is good for u!!
trust me
i’m a doctor 😉
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Weren’t you a grandpa not long ago?
dumspiro
lots of grandpas are doctors, dummy!
Wooyoung yelps, jerking forward when the car moves.
They’ve finally opened up the extra line, a swarm of cars turning to be there first, and Wooyoung’s dad has switched the gear from the lowest speed to the second lowest. They’re practically as fast as a bicycle now. Wooyoung already dreads the journey back.
sunnysideup
Okay but
What if someone recognises you from your profile pic?
Someone you can’t trust?
dumspiro
like you? 🤨
sunnysideup
Nooo you can trust me!!
But I would understand if you didn’t…
I have no idea who you are anyway
dumspiro
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ah sunny
you’re too easy to tease!
look
if someone stares at this pfp enough
to recognise me by the collarbones
they probably want to fuck me
and i can appreciate the dedication 😉
sunnysideup
I just hope you’re being careful…
Wooyoung lets the screen turn black and develops a sudden fascination with the dusty console. His stomach feels like someone’s dropped a stone in it; not because the words read as a threat, but because the conversation isn’t fun anymore.
He knows what he’s doing. He’s aware of the risks. A random internet stranger who claims to collect plushies has no business judging whether Wooyoung is being careful or not. Back to leaning his forehead against the cold window, he listens to the quiet background noise of the radio, determined to leave the last message unanswered.
When he picks the phone up again, he rolls his eyes at his own reflection.
dumspiro
gotta go now!
don’t worry about me 😘
Somehow, the last fifteen minutes of the ride feel longer than the two hours they’ve been stuck.
*
It’s good to be home.
His bed is softer, wider, and smells of the peony detergent Wooyoung’s mum has been using for years. She’s always been stingy with the heating—something that’s actually prepared Wooyoung well for dorm life—but the floor is warm when he wakes up and slugs his way down to the kitchen.
“Good afternoon,” his mum greets, Kyungmin dozing in her arms.
She’s chipper like she’s been up for hours, and she probably has—twirling around the kitchen like it’s an army base preparing for battle, Kyungmin her right-hand-man who occasionally breaks out into sobs. Wooyoung smiles at her, lifting his brother and cooing at him: “Who’s this little worm, ah?”
“Hey—”
“It’s really cold today”—Wooyoung’s older brother saves him from getting scolded, walking in from the living room—“hope you’ve brought a hat.”
“Nope.” Wooyoung beams at him. “Can I have yours?”
“Sure. The purple woollen one I got from grandma.”
“Perfect.”
Bowls of rice and seaweed soup land in front of Wooyoung’s face as soon as he sits down, and he feels warm all over, no thanks to the underfloor heating.
dumspiro
happy chuseok, yolki! 😊
hope they go easy on you today
if they don’t
fake food poisoning
sunnysideup
Happy Chuseok! 😊
dumspiro
aaaw
still no funny nickname
sunnysideup
I’m not good with nicknames…
ㅠㅠ
dumspiro
not with that attitude!
Kyungmin tries to grab the phone out of Wooyoung’s hands, babbling something in curiosity. Wooyoung feeds him spoonfuls of the soup, wondering if he should bring the xylophone out before or after they come back from the cemetery. Knowing Kyungmin, if Woooyung gave him the toy before, he wouldn’t want to let it go and then he’d be giving a free performance to all the grave tenders.
sunnysideup
Hope you have a good time with your family!
Eat some galbijjim for me!
I’ll have to make do with this…
[photo]
The guy—who Wooyoung has taken to calling Sunny in his head—sends a picture of a sad-looking chicken sandwich. Wooyoung winces. He’s about to babble about how soggy white bread goes against the very essence of Chuseok, but then his mum starts rushing him to finish his food and get dressed.
So, Wooyoung just sends a row of crying emojis.
*
They talk throughout the day, much to the annoyance of Wooyoung’s parents whenever they find him on the phone instead of pulling weeds or cutting vegetables. It’s easier to get away with it once they’re back at the house and the rest of his family arrives: cousins milling about, uncles starting on the soju, everyone flocking around Kyungmin when he gives his first xylophone solo.
It’s not wise—talking to Sunny about Wooyoung’s family, his trainee life, or his dream of travelling to every single continent once he gets rich and famous. Wooyoung has never chatted to someone on the app for this long, nevermind divulged details about his personal life that could easily get him into trouble. Inadvisable sexting is one thing, but if the real Sunny was a two-faced opportunist set on outing random people…
Someone like that would not be this committed to sending kaomojis for every occasion, Wooyoung decides. Also, he isn’t the only one sharing too much.
He soon learns that Sunny’s phone is not a secret one that he’s bought with his hard-earned allowance and smuggled in like Wooyoung, but that he’s earned temporary phone privileges for doing well on his last evaluation. Sunny says he’s expecting to lose them any moment, struggling to keep up with his dance classes. He finds singing easier, reads manga in his free time, and if he didn’t want to be an idol, he’d continue doing taekwondo.
It’s enough information that if Wooyoung really wanted, he could probably find the guy. He’s had his app set to matches within a 10km radius, and there are only so many companies that let their trainees use phones, keep them around at Chuseok, and serve pathetic chicken sandwiches in the cafeteria.
All in all, Wooyoung’s quite happy to keep learning more about Sunny—including the fact that he’s terrible at nicknames.
sunnysideup
O o O!!!
That looks delicious, Spyro
dumspiro
spyro?
He gets a picture of a purple videogame dragon in response and bites the inside of his cheek.
dumspiro
that’s a dumb nickname
nobody knows that game
sunnysideup
I know that game…
dumspiro
correction
one person knows that game
ㅎㅎㅎ
sunnysideup
ㅠㅠ
Remember when I said you were nice?
Well…
I was wrong
Dumbo
dumspiro
oh nooo
that’s even worse
😆
For twenty minutes, Sunny manages to ignore him. Then he sends Wooyoung a photo of fallen leaves with a sentimental caption about how he loves autumn because each time he’s outside, he feels like he’s stepping on gold. Wooyoung considers sending back a photo of the disgusting mushy pile of leaves in their front yard.
It’s too cold outside; he sends a photo of the songpyeon he’s been making with his cousins.
sunnysideup
Wowww
Those also look amazing
O￢O
Sesame seed filling?
dumspiro
yesss
but also red bean
those are the best
sunnysideup
Very traditional of you!
dumspiro
it’s just a fact
sunnysideup
Seems like you’ll have
Lots of beautiful children
And a successful marriage, Wooyoung chuckles on the inside and rolls his eyes, not wanting to get stuck on a stupid saying.
dumspiro
good
i want at least 5
can’t provide for all
so looks will have to do!!!
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋ
Five?
dumspiro
yes!
Wooyoung crops a picture he’s got with Kyungmin, plastering a heart sticker over his brother’s face.
dumspiro
got one
four to go
😝
*
Sunny goes quiet for a long time in the afternoon, just around when Wooyoung and his family finally sit down to eat. Wooyoung half-hopes it’s because he’s busy with his training schedule—so that he’s distracted and not thinking about missing his own family—and half-curses the company for making him train on Chuseok.
Considering he’s known the guy for less than 48 hours and he’s a virtual stranger, Wooyoung decides to leave his phone in the bedroom and focus on spending time with his family.
He makes Kyungmin play the xylophone to accompany his I Don’t Wanna Cry cover, to lukewarm applause from everyone but their grandparents. He pretends to steal a soju shot from his dad, to a lecture on alcohol consumption from his drunk uncle. He escapes the girlfriend comments for another year, grateful to be the middle child.
He still feels stupidly chuffed, finding a reply from Sunny when he’s going to bed.
dumspiro
i just had a realisation
sunnysideup
What realisation?
dumspiro
your username
is not
a top/bottom joke
sunnysideup
Oh
Yeah…
dumspiro
my day’s been ruined
sunnysideup
Sorry??
dumspiro
that was the only reason
i matched with uuu
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋ
I thought that was Shiber
dumspiro
no
and i already knew
you were just
catfishing with that pic
💔
sunnysideup
Sorry for betraying your trust
I know it must hurt
dumspiro
very much so
sunnysideup
What does your username mean?
Expecting Sunny to deflect just like that, Wooyoung turns onto his back, holding the phone above his head as he smirks at the ceiling.
dumspiro
ㅋㅋㅋ
it’s latin
the full phrase is
dum spiro spero
but someone already
took that
😠
sunnysideup
Oh
Nothing more than that: oh.
Instead of letting himself feel disappointed, Wooyoung takes the chance to catch up on a backlog of messages from Yeosang: him waxing lyrical about not having to sleep below a snoring person (Wooyoung doesn’t snore), sending Wooyoung pictures of his sister’s Jimin photocard collection (Wooyoung is not jealous), and wishing his family a happy Chuseok.
Before Wooyoung can get up to search for his own photocards to prove a point, a new notification stops him.
sunnysideup
While I breathe, I hope…
I love that a lot
dumspiro
yeah
i knew u would
it’s very mushy
sunnysideup
No it’s not
It’s meaningful!
I just picked mine because it sounded similar to my name…
And I thought it was funny
dumspiro
nice to meet you upyo!
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
It’s San
Reading the characters, Wooyoung almost drops his phone.
San.
Not a Minseok or a Jihoo—names that come a dime and dozen—but San. He imagines the word in his head like a cloud, an amorphous mess of fallen leaves, jjajangmyeon, and purple. He doesn’t question why. He thinks of how easy it would be, now, to find the guy and show up knocking at his company’s doorstep.
Good thing Wooyoung has no reason to be doing that.
dumspiro
aaaaa
what about being careful???
you shouldn’t be telling meee
sunnysideup
I guess so
>.<
dumspiro
it’s okay
i’ll pretend your name is upyo
it suits you more
sunnysideup
…
No it doesn’t
dumspiro
too bad
you don’t get to decide
it’s either upyo
or egguardo
sunnysideup
ㅠㅠ
Thanks, I hate both
dumspiro
great
i’ll alternate
They go on to talk about unrelated things, like the fact that Sunny—San, Wooyoung’s mind supplies even as he tries to ignore it—has a 6am wakeup call for vocal training. Wooyoung implores him to leave his company. San says he’s actually looking forward to it because they’ve been practising a Seventeen song he likes, the same one Wooyoung’s just let Kyungmin butcher.
It’s close to midnight when he loses his inner battle and asks if Sunny can guess his name.
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋ
That’s not fair
I didn’t make you guess
dumspiro
yes, egguardo
and we have agreed
that was silly of u
sunnysideup
Maybe…
But you wouldn’t be making me guess
If you didn’t want to tell me ^^
Wooyoung takes in a sharp breath, suddenly having half a mind to turn his phone off and pretend he’s fallen asleep. We were talking in circles and I was bored, he could send the next morning, a two-punch excuse and a jab sharp enough to prevent rehashing the topic.
sunnysideup
Alright
Let’s go with
Chanwoo
He dismisses the plan just like that, letting out a disbelieving chuckle.
dumspiro
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
why?
sunnysideup
It suits you
dumspiro
😠
too vague
sunnysideup
It’s…
I don’t know
I think of laughter when I hear it
It’s playful
Ridiculously, Wooyoung can feel himself blush.
dumspiro
😆
i didn’t realise
u were an ikon fanboy, upyo
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Oh right
I’m not
dumspiro
hmmmm
It is not a terrible guess. Wooyoung has been intentionally playful in their interactions—like he always tries to be on the app, projecting a sense of being a step removed, enjoying the conversations for what they are. Temporary link-ups to help both sides pass the time, a chance to have fun without any lasting feelings or repercussions.
Wooyoung has never once shared his real name.
dumspiro
alright
listen up
ill give you 3 clues
sunnysideup
You don’t have to
dumspiro
shut up sunny
let me make bad decisions in peace!
sunnysideup
>.<
As you wish
dumspiro
one
your guess was not BAD bad
sunnysideup
Hi there, IKON Chan?
dumspiro
dream on
two
i’ll never grow old 😉
sunnysideup
Hi there, vampire IKON Chan?
dumspiro
three
if we ever met
we wouldn’t need an umbrella
sunnysideup
Okay
I can’t make this one about IKON Chan
dumspiro
good
i tried hard with the clues
don’t disappoint meeee
><
sunnysideup
I think I’ll have to sleep on it…
dumspiro
i expect more guesses
first thing in the morning
ㅎㅎㅎ
goodnight, sunny!
sunnysideup
Goodnight, Chan-sunbaenim! 😊
Turning off his usual alarm, Wooyoung puts the phone down on his bedside table with a thump, harsher than necessary. The heating is still on, making the air too-warm in comparison to what he’s used to in the dorms, but he tugs the blanket up to his chin and burrows half his face in the pillow.
*
San—Sunny—doesn’t guess his name first thing in the morning.
His texts are sparse throughout the day, random replies that can’t really lead to a conversation. He’s busy, Wooyoung thinks, and he makes himself busy too. Not in retaliation—it’s his last full day at home.
“Oh, your hand isn’t glued to the phone after all,” his mum teases, “I was already looking up remedies.”
Wooyoung grabs the phone out of his pocket, holding it up in provocation. “I think seaweed soup could help,” he says with an overblown pout.
His dad leaves at noon to drive the grandparents home, and Wooyoung spends the rest of the day playing with Kyungmin while his mum cleans and his older brother pretends to study. He’s a bit more subtle with his phone, sure, but Wooyoung can see him tapping out messages every once in a while, blushing. His teasing gets him a smack to the forehead, which makes Kyungmin cry, and then their mother comes in with the vacuum, threatening to get rid of the phones once and for all.
“It’s not hard to disassemble a vacuum,” Wooyoung says.
“Oh, I’d have to break the phones to make them fit,” his mum answers, and she turns the vacuum off to join them in the living room, slumping on the sofa with an exhausted sigh.
Wooyoung’s phone buzzes just then, with a confetti cat sticker from Sunny in response to Wooyoung sending him a recording of Kyungmin’s xylophone performance. His mum nudges him with her knee.
“How’s Yeosangie?” she asks.
Wooyoung hums, leaving the message unanswered. “Good. His parents got a dog.” He juts his lip out before his mum can ask more questions, leaning onto her shoulder. “You know what? You should get a dog!”
“Sure,” his mum says. “And you should become a doctor.”
After dinner, Wooyoung is sitting in the very same spot, this time with his father beside him. The man is absorbed in the ssireum match on TV, so much so that he keeps yelling out random expletives and apologising for them in turn. Wooyoung records his latest outburst and sends it to Yeosang, and then he waits two minutes and sends it to Sunny, too.
He’s not expecting a response.
dumspiro
men…
[audio]
sunnysideup
O.O
Ssireum!!
You’re not a fan?
dumspiro
of course i am, sunny
in the sense that
it’s half-naked men
wrestling
><
i couldn’t care less otherwise
sunnysideup
ㅋㅋㅋ
You know, I actually went to the first World’s in Busan…
With my grandpa
It was his favourite sport
Much to my dad’s annoyance
dumspiro
why?
sunnysideup
He’s a taekwondo instructor 😅
dumspiro
ohhhh
so you got free classes
growing up
neat!
sunnysideup
He passed away this year
Wooyoung frowns, pushing himself into the corner of the sofa and pulling his knees up to his chest.
sunnysideup
My grandpa, I mean
So it’s the first Chuseok
Without my grandparents
Wooyoung’s father yells out another swear, his mum yells something from the kitchen, and Wooyoung pays no attention to either. He types and retypes his message three times.
dumspiro
i’m so sorry
really
that must be hard on you
sunnysideup
No, I’m sorry
I don’t want to mope
I’ve just been homesick
And the dance practice today was terrible
ㅜㅜ
dumspiro
no no no
you should mope!
you should sulk!
you should complain!!!
He imagines himself in San’s position, stuck in the uncompromising rollercoaster of his training, waking up to sad chicken sandwiches and thoughts of what his family is doing without him. It makes his chest uncomfortable.
dumspiro
you should’ve been allowed to go home
sunnysideup
It’s okay…
I chose this
I could’ve gone home if I really wanted to
dumspiro
and get cut??
not a fair deal
if u ask me
His outrage is all fake bravado, and Wooyoung knows. Signing a company contract means accepting the rules and agreeing to the sacrifices. If he were in San’s shoes, he would mope and sulk and complain, and then he would stay in his cold dorm room, possibly chatting up strangers on a hook-up app to make himself feel better.
He swallows.
sunnysideup
I had you to distract me though
So
Thanks Woo 😊
A tingle shoots up Wooyoung’s arm, all the way from his fingertips to his sternum, like the phone’s given him an electric shock. He stares at the TV, letting the match dissolve into blurry pixels, and goes back and forth in his head composing a response. He winces as soon as he sends it.
dumspiro
of course, sunny! ❤️
let me know if u want to talk about it
It serves Wooyoung right that the message goes unacknowledged, topic swerved into the safe territory of who’s winning the current match, parental hobbies, and commiserating over how difficult it had been to get their parents on board with the idol dream.
Wooyoung hangs out with his older brother for a bit, helps his mum pack tupperware leftovers for the morning, and retreats into his—private, warm, just slightly cluttered—bedroom. He doesn’t think about how silly it is, matching with a weirdo that’s turned out to be another trainee, sharing stuff that could get him in hot water, and getting to a point where a part of him actually wants to meet the weirdo, going against his rationality.
They could be friends, Wooyoung thinks. There’s no reason why they couldn’t be friends.
In response to his goodnight text, San sends him a picture.
It’s a selfie of a boy doing the peace sign, hair combed into his face and cheeks dimpled around an awkward smile. He looks small in his black hoodie, the picture smudged and dark where he’s probably rushed to snap it in his dorm. In the right corner, there’s something that looks like a stuffed giraffe. San’s eyes are barely visible. Finding himself staring at the screen for too long, Wooyoung flicks the photo away and gladly leaves the trouble of replying to his future self.
His current self wants to send a selfie back, and that clearly means he’s not in the right mindset to be making decisions.
He leaves his phone on the desk, with the rationale that he’s too tired to get up and cross the room even if his senses take a leave of absence. He tries to fall asleep thinking of trading snacks with Daeho, looking through all of Yeosang’s hundred-and-five puppy pics, and teasing the hall monitor about meeting up with his childhood sweetheart.
It must be way past midnight when he falls asleep but Wooyoung doesn’t get up to fetch his phone.