Chapter Text
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018
Weeks after the final battle with Reign
Around exactly 11:43 am, high up in the sky.
Tuesdays were normally free-days for her… a safe-haven in a busy week. Allowing her mind to relax, to decompress while the world still continued around her. Back in the day, when she wasn’t Supergirl she would have had the weekend for that. But sadly life wasn’t like that anymore. It was all demanding, never resting… But she and J’onn had concluded together that Tuesdays would be her day. A day to rest, to pray, to cry… and to become herself again. She would only react in dire times… but apart from that she would give herself the time she needed. The breath she had to take.
Due to Reign’s terror her Tuesdays aren't free anymore, it was filled with petty crimes as the DEO slowly was being built up again. She couldn’t say for certain how many died in that attack, but it surprised her it did her so little in the end. It made her feel something she hadn’t felt like in a long time… Not human. Not- not being able to feel like a normal human could. But her rationale countered that she wasn’t human… she would never be human… and for the first time in life she accepted that.
She could pretend that she had enough heart for all, and in some ways she did. She felt more than- many. But her job, her alter ego steeled something inside her. It really made her the girl of steel. The blood, the cries, she of course did what was possible. Because that’s her… that’s Supergirl. But Kara Zor-El was slowly being closed off, cut off from the life she had when she put on the Suit. No heavy amount of tears would fall for the unknown, for the people she wouldn’t ever know… For the people that fought with her, but the names not even in her brain.
As she hovered, high above the city she swore to protect, she slowly felt the first drops of rain falling to the earth below. Hitting the only object at that height in the process: her. If she were a mere human she would have cared, she would care about getting sick, about getting wet. About- everything. But, Reign had shown her so much. So much more than she was ready for… Argo City for example. A location in the world she didn’t know had existed. A- a pillar of hope for her. That she wasn’t the last woman of her race, that she didn’t have to keep that burden on her shoulders anymore.
It allowed her to be free, but at the same time also confined in searching for a new purpose. Was she really the one she wanted to be at the moment? Was Kara Danvers, Supergirl and Kara Zor-El the person… she was meant to be. Could- could she not combine it all, could she not be her. Could she not find out for the first time in her life who Kara was. She knew that she maybe didn’t have the time to find it all out. But- she hated what she had become, how little it hurt her anymore. She wanted better. She wanted a future where she could be proud of. She wanted to be selfish.
Opening her eyes for the first time in… what might have been hours, she slowly stopped filtering the world. Listening to life around her- listening to the people who also didn’t have it perfect. But they- they might have learned the things she is about to learn already.
As the rain slowly tickled down harder, she filtered again. Allowing her mind to become clear, no cries for help, no fighting, no happiness of others falling into her ears. She breathed out, allowing her to feel the oxygen coming into her body seconds later when she breathed in again. Slowly but surely revelations of life became too much for her, life- life could be perfect. But it wouldn’t be until she knew who she wanted to be.
In the rain, high above her city, as her mind silently collapsed upon itself. She zoned into her sister's heartbeat. Back in the day, when she was lying in bed in Midvale, it would help her. Keep her grounded. Keep her- human. But life had changed since then, it wasn’t to keep her human anymore. It was to check on them, to see if her sister is okay. If- if life was how it should be. If that ticker in that chest was still ticking. And it was, it was drumming the rhythm of the healthy sinus. Jumping and closing, loving and caring for its owner… keeping her sister alive.
As she tried to keep her emotions- her collapsing mind under control. She knew her sister’s heart wasn’t the one she had to hear. She- she had to hear the heart of the person who mattered most in her life. The person who cared about her, but not about all of her. Lena… Lena cared about Kara Danvers, but Supergirl… was a whole other story.
Broken by betrayal… lost because of lack of trust. All of it made Kara break a little inside. But even if Lena could never accept all of her- like all of it. Kara wanted her, she- the young CEO let her feel something she hadn’t felt in a long time: enough. That Kara didn’t need to be more, that she didn’t have to be a perfect journalist, or an all-feeling superheroine. No, she was enough for Lena. And- breaking the bond she had cherished most with her alter ego. That hurt more than kryptonite.
As her ears searched for that unique rhythm she was looking for she found it… shocking her. She focused more on the sound, allowing her to better get a feeling where her friend was. Because- the normal relaxed heartbeat was all but that. It was- exceeding all she had ever heard from that heart. It was fast- too fast.
She opened her eyes, zoning into the direction the sound was coming from. L-Corp. And did the only thing she could do to keep her mind clear. She raced through the city, breaking glass of some skyscrapers along the way… going too fast to keep her direction perfect. But perfect enough to not hurt anybody. Her ears were not focused on Lena anymore, but on all around her, trying to search for a reason why the woman was- ready to go into shock.
As she neared L-Corp, it was maybe 300 feet to go… was when her world stopped. Silencing her in her path. As a single- no, double gunshot was heard. And the heartbeat that was drumming in her ears peaked to a higher speed. As the shock wore off the only thing she felt were things no almighty hero should have. But she did, as she crashed through the CEO’s windows with a devastating pang. But that wasn’t heard for the shooter in the room, as the redness in her eyes was enough for the hole in their body, almost splitting them into two.
But Kara’s attention wasn’t on the figure… it would never be a second on the figure after ending their life. It was on Lena, as the woman lay on the ground… in a pool of what could only be her own blood. Near her was glass, glass Kara had forced there by barging in. It was clear to her Lena wasn’t among the world of the awake. But- there was a heart rhythm. A rhythm she had to guess was slowly burning out. But that was never going to be the case as long Kara was alive. As her arms picked up the fragile woman she did the only thing she could think of at that moment. She flew to the closest hospital.
Luthor Hospital and Children's Hospital became her destination, as she knew her friend would be taken care of there. She landed roughly, making a dent in the asphalt in front of the ER. But that- she couldn’t even phantom caring about something like that at this moment. And that was clear, as every step she took a small crack became visible on the earth underneath her.
She was clear enough at that moment to decide to wait until the doors opened… not hurting her friend more by stepping through glass. It might have taken a second, as the red-eyed Superheroine stepped inside before nurses came rushing towards her. A stretcher didn’t come that long after, leaving Kara without her friend in her arms… but the blood was clear on her suit. As deep-red as the lipstick her friend was wearing.
That was the moment she broke.