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‘Fuck Zurn,’ is all Felix can think, body shaking with rage and grief, tears running down his face as he runs for the collapsed black figure, the damn Raven Child on the ground. He runs for Milo, falling to his knees, almost sliding into the creature’s body as he picks up and cradles the dark head in his lap.
‘Fuck you, Zurn,’ he thinks as he pats the side of the feathered face, calling out his brother’s name, hoping for a response that doesn’t come. Even as he continues to plead, trying to rouse his brother once more, praying that he’s only unconscious, that the unnatural stillness is just a trick of his mind.
“Felix,” a hand lands on his shoulder and he jerks away, tearing his eyes away from his brother to glare up at the man who dares to call himself Milo’s father.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” he hisses, eyes rimmed red. “Don’t you dare say anything-” his voice breaks. “This is your fault, do you hear me? Your fault!”
A sob pushes past his lips and Felix looks back down at his brother, vision blurring as he stroked over the feathers behind the bird-like eyes. Like how he would brush back Milo’s hair while he was sick, keeping it off his forehead so he could press a cold cloth there and soothe him. He bends down and presses a kiss to the avian equivalent of a forehead, just like their mom did to tuck them into bed, like Felix did for Milo after she was gone.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, tears falling onto the feathers and rolling off, easily wicked away. “I’m so sorry. “
He can hear Iris’s voice and he knows she’s handling Zurn, tearing into him with a strength that he wishes he had. He can hear the heavy, even footsteps of Toa approaching as he continues to keep his eyes on Milo.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispers, because Milo was always scared of doing something wrong, always looking to him to make sure he was doing the right thing. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
Toa kneels down next to him and puts his arm around him, not saying a word as Felix clutches the lifeless, raven head of his baby brother in his lap. Toa just supports him as he cries, as he whispers his final goodbye to Milo in the Black Pyramid, amidst the rubble and aftermath of their encounter with the Chained God.