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As of today, Paul had returned his calls twice in total.
The first time, it was 3 hours and 12 minutes after Carl's initial message. He had sounded vaguely apologetic, saying that he really, genuinely, didn't want to hurt him, but staying was just too stressful, that he couldn't go on like this. Carl did not understand what he meant. Go on like what? Like a match set? Like a pair of peas in a pod? Unbelievable! But Carl didn't want to hold a grudge about it.
The second time, it was just three minutes after his message. Forceful, but shaky, he told Carl to please, please, leave him alone, yadda yadda, and more importantly, there was a very special quality to his voice through the tinny phone fuzz - Carl felt pretty strongly that the overplayed irritation and weariness in it would soon snap and break, and the unmistakable soft sound underneath would remain to come back to him. Any day now, Paul would bring Carl a basket of pomegranates or peaches or something and ask for his forgiveness. That was going to be very nice of him.
"Carl," He would say, "I'm so sorry, Carl. I never should have left. My life is so empty without you. I can't bear to live another day without you here with me...Carlll."
Of course, Carl would immediately welcome him home. "Don't worry about it, buddy," He would reassure him, and seal the deal with a hug.
Carl thought very hard about this hug. He thought about Paul sniffling, trying and failing to hold back some tears, and rubbing his fuzzy face into his neck. His noises would spread his body heat around the stale air of the apartment. "Carl...." He'd gasp.
His fuzzy face... The mask was not fuzzy at all, Carl realized. That might actually be a problem. He had started the project impulsively, and only considered the image of Paul, not the texture. He squinted at it until it lost all its detail, becoming a pale brownish blob. It wasn't a big deal, though. Paul was going to come back soon.
That would be great timing for it to happen right now, Carl thought. He paused momentarily to listen for any sign of him, but the house was still silent.
Paul was going to come back soon.
In the meantime, the mask would have to do.
With most things, Carl could look into their eyes and not feel especially that tearing up their little bodies would be any different than kicking a pile of dirt. A rat and a patent attorney were very similar in that sense, that their eyes were just some opaque bits of matter that tended to swivel around wildly when they were "panicked" or "in pain". And he didn't know why yet, or how to describe it, but Paul really WAS different from those kinds of things, somehow! Paul was special. Carl was totally sure that he could never tear up Paul's body.
He remembered a striking feeling occurring to him early on in their relationship, that there truly was another perspective behind his eyes, that there was someone truly real looking at him from inside their mind, just as he looked back at them.
The mask had holes in its eyes.
He leaned in to get a closer look at the thing. Even if it didn't have the heat, or the texture, he had to commend his own craftsmanship, for the likeness. It had everything; the bags around the eyes, the notch in between the brows, the shape of the mouth.
More important was the voice. Paul had a very particular voice. Strange, but not in a bad way... Shrill, yeah, but good shrill. Carl tried to move his own voice out of his chest, where he usually spoke from, and into the high parts of his throat, to give it that certain sound. "Carl," He began, and grimaced. Ugh. Okay, Weird.
He took a second to compose himself before trying again. “Carl.... Carl.” That was better. He just had to get used to it a little. Only a little, though. Getting used to it too much, becoming too good, might not be ideal. He wouldn't want Paul to feel inadequate next to his rapidly improving Paul-replacement-skills once he returned.
“Carlllll,” He said to the empty air, focusing hard.
Still, something prevented him from hearing the real deal in his impression. If only he could sever that barrier between himself and Paul—as in, the Paul mask. Carl closed his eyes and leaned forward further.
Feeling the tip of its nose on his own, he let out a warm breath.
