Chapter Text
The crowded streets of Grevel left little room for movement, the busy markets and nightlife attracting swathes of both locals and travelers into the heart of the city. The sun had yet to dip completely behind the tall, pale buildings that stretched up to meet it, but all the same, the city was abuzz with opportunities.
"Excuse me, ma'am, just coming through-" It was almost laughably easy to loosen the ties of coin purses and lift small goods as Kremy Lecroux made his way through the packed throng of bodies. A little bump, a little nudge, an apology to distract, and he was a good twenty gold richer. They never noticed, and if they did, the hulking genasi attempting to squeeze through right after them was enough to keep their heads low.
That man was proving to be terribly useful even when he wasn't crushing skulls for his boss.
They'd been working together now for over a year, if he recalled correctly. Gideon Coal was no longer the gangly, starved looking thing he'd found, and being able to pay a man in food rather than gold suited Kremy quite well. There was the slight issue of him being ridiculously tall and bright red and on fire. No good for subtlety or sneaking their way around, but thus far, it had worked out quite well.
Once the pair reached the other side of the city square, they could reconvene for a moment. Thankfully, the rest of the city should be a little less crushing, but Kremy needed to check in with his sole employee first.
"Gideon, did you get what I asked you for?"
"Sure did."
The genasi shoved a shovel-sized hand into one of his pockets – He should really get about finding something less threadbare in the man's ridiculous size – and pulled out a heavy brass key, presenting it in the palm of his hand. The alligatorkin's pale yellow eyes lit up at the sight, and a warmth bloomed somewhere in Gideon's chest. Thank fuck, he got the right one.
"What's it for?" He kept his voice hushed as clawed fingers turned the key over in a quick inspection before handing it back and waving a hand, presumably to get Gideon to shove it back in his pocket and away from prying eyes. "Guy you had me mug looked like he had cash to spare, why not just rob him?"
"We can get gold anywhere, Gideon. That thing can get lil' ol' us into the city coffers. We could loot them dry, you understand?" The glint in his eye and the toothy grin on his long face was enough to convince Gideon, but he wasn't gonna stop him from explaining. "Fill our pockets and run! Who knows what they have in there besides just gold?"
He just shrugged, and Kremy groaned.
"It doesn't matter! We have it, we can sneak in the second it gets dark! You can take care of any guards, I'll sneak in and take whatever the hell we please!"
Gideon half turned, looking around themselves as if to check nobody was listening.
"Smash and grab but with the city? Alright, if you say so-" He clearly wasn't convinced, but his companion just rolled his eyes and grabbed onto his shirt sleeve in an attempt to get him to move.
"Just trust me, have I ever been wrong before?"
Before the two of them could slip off down the mountain city's infamous winding steps that made up the majority of its alleys and streets, they both heard something in the distance.
Clanking metal, and voices, raised voices. For a brief moment, they just looked at each other with furrowed brows, and the recognition hit them at the same time.
"City guard!"
"Fuckshit!"
Their temporary freeze broke, scrambling to dive down into the nearest steep alleyway, praying to all that way holy and unholy that the tight crowds would slow the guards down in their bulky armour. The steps were so tiny and worn down into slithers, really not safe at all, the odd pair fumbling and slipping their way down as fast as their legs could carry them.
"What in the hell did you do with the body, Gid?"
"I shoved him into a barrel, I didn't think they'd find him that fast!"
"You put the mayor in a goddamn barrel like he's a fish for pickling?"
"You didn't tell me what to do!"
"I didn't think I had to tell you not to shove him in a fucking barrel," Kremy hissed and latched onto Gideon's arm yanking him sideways to swing their accelerating, stumbled trajectory down a split off of the alleyway.
"Ow, man," Gideon huffed as they rounded the corner, "why you gotta grab me so hard, you got claws man-"
Gideon's complaining was interrupted by the overlapping shouts of the guards as they stormed into the staircase alley after them.
"Shiiiiiit" Kremy's eyes widened in panic at the sound of clanking armoured boots running far more confidently after them. "shitshitshit-
"You have a plan, man?" Gideon looked at him with wide, imploring eyes, embers being tossed out of his hair as they thudded down the stairs
"I did before you stuck the guards on us!"
"Kremyyyyyyy" Gideon groaned "were fuckedddd."
"Shut up Gideon!"
The alley curved sharply ahead of them and as they rounded the corner blindly Kremy's knees collided with the edge of a discarded wooden shipping box, sending him spilling onto the stairs below with a sharp yelp. Gideon immediately tumbled over the same box with a startled "Fuck-" and barely managed to catch himself from landing with his full weight on Kremy, bruising his knees and elbows on the stone. That's what they got for making an unplanned dash through a city they didn't know.
Kremy groaned and curled in on himself, grabbing his head where it had connected with the ground and Gideon dropped heavily to his shoulder over Kremy, clasping his hand over the opposite elbow.
They heard the sounds of guards delegating alleyways to search behind them and Kremy scrabbled at Gideon's back
"Gid Gid Gid GidGidGid offoffoff," Kremy yelled.
Gideon rolled off Kremy and pulled himself up on the box while Kremy turned onto his side to scrabble to his feet.
"Fuck-" Kremy gasped, his hands flying to his hip.
"You ok, man?" Gideon panted, leaning against the stone wall.
"Threw out my fucking hip," Kremy spit, his voice strained and seething
"Ain't you too young for that..." Gideon wondered under his breath as he stepped over to Kremy, grabbing his arm to yank him to his feet. Kremy cried out in pain as he was shifted off of his hip, and he grabbed at Gideon's arm, digging his claws into the skin around his manacles, hissing through gritted teeth.
"I told you ow, man -" Gideon started as he helped Kremy lean against the wall, before Kremy clamped his hand over his mouth.
"Shhhhhhhut up-"
Gideon licked his hand and Kremy recoiled instinctively
"Gideon, ew, what's wrong with you-" Kremy was cut off by the clanging of metal armour. A guard was jogging down the alleyway they were hidden away in.
Kremy panicked and looked frantically around the alley. It was mostly the back doors of storefronts, cluttered with trash and debris from the city. He spotted the sign indicating the business they had stumbled up to - an opioid lounge. He remembered a time he and Gideon had visited one, and a couple almost fell onto them from their booth seats as they kissed and touched each other lazily.
"Kremy, should- should I grab you? Can you run? Do I carry you?" Gideon asked, grabbing onto him like he was the injured one that needed to be whisked away.
"Gideon, kiss me."
Gideon blinked, baffled. "Huh?"
Kremy gripped him by the collar. "Quickly, Gideon, I said kiss me!" he demanded, tone rising as the sound of the guard got closer. No one wanted to bother a couple making out sloppily in public, if they assumed they were just high clients that had wandered their way out back of the lounge, the guard would overlook them!
Gideon just continued to stare at him stupidly, flaming hair igniting. "How would I even..." Gideon asked incredulously.
"Oh for fucks sake- would you kindly kiss me, Gideon."
Gideon had never experienced charm magic before that moment. It enveloped his mind in a comforting embrace, muffling all other thoughts and pushing aside any resistance.
He wanted this. He wanted to kiss Kremy. The lizardfolk was far from unattractive, and he'd fallen into bed with many people he liked the look of less than his boss. Before he could really register it, his hands were around Kremy's waist, lifting him bodily and pressing him up against the wall with no regard for that hip of his, crushing his lips to the end of Kremy's snout.
It wasn't made for kissing, realistically. But that didn't stop Gideon. Any noises of protest from Kremy were completely drowned out against warm lips, an arm under his thighs to prop him up at Gideon's waist. The other hand shoved itself under his shirt, when was that untucked? and had begun to explore the softer scales it found.
Kremy had made a mistake, but at the very least, now he understood why and how Gideon found himself so many lovers so easily, on top of his good looks. He could feel his heartbeat thrumming in his skull, helpless to do anything but grip at Gideon's shirt and let out a shameful soft bellow. His only comfort lay in the fact that Gideon likely had no idea what that might mean.
"Gideon, Gideon-!"
They had to stay focused, there was a point to all this!
"I gotcha, darlin'.
That should not have elicited the shiver down his spines that it did. Oh, Baron. Gideon's hot mouth was making its way down his jaw and his neck and that was not what he'd intended by kiss me, but he couldn't risk shoving him off and risking their cover.
He knew it was the spell. He knew this was just how Gideon would kiss someone he actually wanted to, full of passion and lust and that intensity Gideon approached everything in his life with. He didn't think he'd ever been kissed like this.
Something sharp on his skin yanked him back to reality, Gideon's teeth biting down on the crook of his neck, his hips canting forwards to press their bodies tighter together, grinding against a new tightness in Kremy's pants. His lips were back against the side of Kremy's mouth, his head over Gideon's shoulder-
"The fugitive! Arrest them!"
The guards.
Three of them charged down the narrow street toward Kremy and Gideon, his plan had been completely useless, a 6'8 Genasi was going to stick out no matter what he was doing! Stupid!
Before he could open his mouth to give another command, Gideon was seized, armoured hands clamping down on his arms to force him to stumble backwards. Two of them held him, while the third grabbed ahold of Kremy before his ass even hit the paving stones.
"You are under arrest for assault, theft, evasion of the law-!"
The gauntlets that held Kremy's arms tight left no room to cast any decent spells, kicking his feet uselessly as he was held in the air for a second time that day.
"Kremy! Get your stinkin' hands offa me, ya rust buckets!" The Genasi tore one of his arms free, sending a fist flying into the face of one of the guards, crumpling it in on itself. They were artificial men of some kind, made of metal, not flesh.
He made short work of the two guards who had attempted to restrain him, whirling around to face Kremy's captor with that desperation he'd seen many times in his eyes.
Gideon was terrified of capture, of jail, or so Kremy assumed. He fought like a cornered beast whenever it came to that, and thus far it had gotten them out of a whole lot of trouble. But when he laid eyes on Kremy, they only widened, and he hesitated.
"Gideon! What's wrong with you?"
"I can't, man! I'll hit you!"
Struggle as he might, Kremy was locked against the warforged's chest, kicking as best he could. But he wasn't that big of a target, and the thing holding him was, Gideon just had to get over himself!
"Gideon Coal! Do what I damn well hired you for, and hit it!"
The pinkish light in Gideon's eyes glowed anew as the lingering suggestion spell took hold, and all fears slipped away, replaced only by that burning rage. With a roar, Gideon swung in a wild arc toward the last guard, slamming his fist into the side of its head as it attempted to recite him his rights. Like fuck he was listening to all that.
Finally back on solid ground, Kremy scrambled to his feet and immediately set off in the opposite direction to where they'd come from as fast as his busted hip could let him.
"We gotta go, move it! They'll be on us again any minute!"
"Alright, whatever you say."
Fast as they could, huh? For a third time in one day, Kremy was scooped up off the ground, his bodyguard simply grabbing him bodily and tossing him over one shoulder like a sack of flour. Couldn't go anywhere fast with that hip of his, and with suggestion in his veins, Gideon was taking initiative.
Gideon bolted down the steep incline away from the mechanical wreckage of the guards with Kremy gripping desperately to his shoulder. Kremy swore under his breath as Gideon's steps impacted his body and as he was embarrassingly manhandled by his fucking employee.
The alleyway plateaued, and spit them out into a broader corridor, crowded with stalls and entryways to shops. Gideon sidestepped the crowd sidling along the tall stone walls of the buildings.
Kremy's vantage on Gideon's shoulder let him see the tall, metallic figures interspersed amongst the crowd, scanning across the faces amongst the throngs of people.
"Gideon," he hissed, "get down."
Gideon dropped down into a crouch slipping Kremy off of his shoulder and into his arms, looking at him expectantly.
Kremy gestured wildly. "Go??!" he demanded feverishly.
"Oh, right, yeah-" Gideon kept low and pushed into the crowd in an attempt to disappear. People turned and stared and clutched their bags as Gideon shouldered past them at a half jog.
Oh, they were so obvious... A massive flaming man with manacles and horns carrying an alligator man in a bright purple waistcoat. Real inconspicuous, Kremy. Great plan, get the big neon sign of a man to pin you up against a wall. He doesn't disappear when he's got his back turned.
He really needed to work on his decision making skills in a team setting. Working with a partner - employee, Kremy reminded himself, despite currently being held in the mans arms as he ducked and weaved through the crowd - was really making him stupid.
Gideon hiked Kremy up in his arms, ignoring his sound of protest as his eyes darted around to find another dim alleyway to try and disappear into.
Gideon spotted an arched entry into a throughway, and shoved through the crowd as best he could without drawing the attention of the mechanical guards. It was a flat, level road this time, so he quickly broke out into a dead sprint.
Kremy slapped desperately at the arm that held him. "Gideon, Gideon, stop stop stop, let me down," he panted.
Gideon jogged to a halt, and plopped Kremy roughly onto his feet. Kremy staggered to the wall and slid down it until he sat on the ground, pulling a map of the city all marked up in red ink from his satchel with shaking hands.
Kremy scoured the map for where they could be. They'd been in the central plaza, but they had just run blindly through little winding side streets for minutes. Kremy spotted the long, broad merchants corridor they had just come from, and traced his claw along the walls made up the street. The pillared archway they had darted through was drawn in. It was a landmark.
Kremy followed the path of the road they were on, and it opened up into a wide flat square. The administrative precinct, Kremy recognized. There, on the far side was the building circled multiple times in red, the place they kept all their funds.
"Gideon," he called over, and the man was beside him again.
"What's the plan, boss-man?"
Kremy tapped the building with the coffers, and traced a line to approximately where they were sat catching their breath. "We're right there, we could - the guards are distracted trying to find us, I bet -"
Gideon's eyes widened in excitement. "You think we could still swing it?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying. Fuck whatever we planned before, we get in now, and we split!"
Gideon whooped, and then cringed in on himself when Kremy shot him a venomous look.
"We still have to make it there, Coal, don't get us caught prematurely."
"Yeah," he agreed, "right, sorry. Volume control."
Kremy rolled his eyes and shifted as if to get to his feet, but he froze and hissed. "Shit, Gideon, I'm gonna need you to pop this thing back into place."
Gideon tilted his head, half curious, half concerned. "Your leg?"
Kremy nodded sharply, motioning him over.
Gideon grumbled, "Ugh, alright," he sat on the cobblestone ground next to Kremy. "C'mere, big man." He pulled his boss over to him, holding him half sitting on his knees.
Krem adjusted himself with a wince. "Hand here," he pointed, and Gideon put his strong warm hand where he was told, "and the other here, and then push with this motion," he mimicked popping the bone into place. "And if i fucking bite you its your own fault."
Gideon nodded and put his hands into place, nervous, but steadied by the suggestion magic. It was like his bosses hands were on his own, guiding them and showing him exactly how to move to get it right. The lingering of the magic was an odd sensation, but... he wasn't hating it.
Gideon put quick sudden pressure on the hip, and felt it grind and pop into place beneath his hands with a sickening wet click.
Kremy gritted his teeth and buried head in his shoulder as his joint was reset. He let out a wheezing breath. "Gods, fuck me Gideon. That shit stings."
The purple magic still swirling through Gideons head almost had him leaning forwards to follow Kremy's instructions, but he shook the haze out of his head, blinking.
"You got a plan?"
"We need to get around the back of it somehow. The front entrance is gonna be crawling with big metal fuckers like the ones on our tails."
Kremy didn't love the layout, everything here was sort of enclosed. He could, potentially, have Gideon give him a leg up and try to get on top of one of the lower buildings, try to find a window or a smaller entrance up there. There was no way in hell Gideon could climb up after him, but perhaps he'd be better suited keeping the heat, so to speak, off his back.
It was half-baked at best, but a decent enough plan with the looming threat of the city guard bearing down on them. There was no time for anything more refined, they'd have to wing it.
"Gideon, get me up there. Do not throw me, just a boost. I can get into that window."
The wall he gestured to was the side of some sort of town house at a guess, and had an open window he estimated Gideon could shove him into. Thank the gods this place used shutters over glass. Even with bracing himself, getting grabbed around the waist and hoisted into the air was not fun, the lizardfolk's legs kicking out automatically until he hit Gideon in the chest, earning a pained grunt before his feet managed to find purchase on the Genasi's shoulders.
"Shit, Kremy, that fuckin' hurt! Watch it, man!"
It was enough. Kremy's claws grabbed onto the windowsill and started to try and pull himself up, both of Gideon's hands on the soles of his feet pushing him up and into the room, sending him sprawling over a plush loveseat and onto a rug. After a moment, his scaled head popped up over the window again, hissing down at his companion.
"You go that way, keep the guards occupied! No, not the ones chasing us, the other guards, the ones guarding the big building!"
Kremy didn't sit around to babysit his own muscle and make sure he ended up in the right direction, he had shit to do. Hopefully, the upper floor he'd ended up in was empty, and he didn't have to increase his own bounty any higher than it already was. He slipped from the bedroom out the door that should lead toward the precinct, finding himself in a hallway with no obvious way out besides a very small window. Oh, gods.
Gideon, on the other hand, meandered down the street as if he hadn't a care in the world, trying to go for the whole lost tourist ruse, looking around at the walls at nothing. The narrow street widened out into a wide, flat courtyard styled as a little garden, with trees and greenery that all seemed a bit out of place and decorative. Then again, that kind of thing was rare this high in the mountains, so maybe it was a fun novelty. At the far opposite side of the courtyard there stood two of the same guards he'd punched into bits earlier, motionless with tall, imposing pikes.
"Halt! You are not authorised to be in this location. State your name, address and your business."
Man, these fellas really were jumpy with it, but neither of them had actually moved at all, so he didn't either.
"Uh, my name?" He probably shouldn't use his real one, Kremy got pissed at him for that. "Shit, my name is, uh, Rideon? Rideon Reel?" Gods, this was why Kremy did the talking. "I don't have an address, I'm sort of on the move right now. Fluid, you know how it is."
Neither guard moved nor spoke.
"My business? I mean, I'm a bodyguard, I guess-"
"Your business being here, if you have none, you will be removed by force."
Yeesh.
"Yeah, I got business, but it's private! I wanna talk to the mayor, about, uh- taxes. I wanna know where my taxes go, 'cause I don't like the way this city's spending taxpayer money. Way too many big metal fuckers."
Both guards lowered their pikes at the word 'tax', and Gideon had a feeling this place might be a teensy bit more corrupt than they'd assumed. None of his business, but this sure was, as he rolled up both of his sleeves and braced himself. He really doubted Kremy was having a better time of it than him.
Kremy took a moment to hype himself up, never having been so thankful that he was so thin. He thought he could just barely fit through the window frame, after already having pried the shutters off to give him that little bit of extra wiggle room.
He scurried back into the unoccupied bedroom he'd come in from, rubbing his hands together nervously and casting around for something he could drag over to the window so he could go out feet first. The only thing that looked like it would be the right height was the loveseat he'd tumbled over when he dropped in.
Kremy leveraged his hands beneath it and hefted it up, almost immediately dropping it back down to the ground, having wildly underestimated the weight and how much exertion his barely relocated hip could take. The wooden feet made a loud thump as they met the hardwood floor, and Kremy froze. If anyone were home, it would have been hard not to hear that.
Kremy listened for any noise further in the house. Nothing. He sighed in relief, safe. He tried again to heft the sofa, grunting with the effort, but this time prepared for its weight, and managed to get the side up high enough to rest it on his shoulder so he could drag it where he needed it. This is why he'd hired his fucking muscle.
He couldn't believe he was having to do this shit himself. Why else did he keep the big guy around, and he wasn't even here to do his damn job - Kremy definitely didn't think back to how the guy had pinned him up against the wall earlier, and that maybe he should start keepin’ him around for that too. That would be fuckin perverse, and Kremy was a high class guy. He hardly wanted the guy touchin’ him when he manhandled him around for bodyguarding reasons, him treating him like one of his million lady friends while under Kremy's suggestion magic wasn't changing that.
Kremy started to drag the loveseat across the ground, and it made a terrible grinding scraping noise across the floor. Kremy stopped when he heard a noise from downstairs, yellow eyes wide in anticipation. He heard footsteps starting to move downstairs, and the lower door to the stairwell open. Kremy abandoned the loveseat and it crashed to the floor falling onto its side as Kremy rushed to the window. He heard the steps on the stairs go faster as whatever person was about to catch him realised there really was some thief in their house.
Kremy shoved his satchel out the tiny window, letting it thunk onto the flat roof below. He heard a muffled shattering noise. Wonderful.
The window was thin and high up, but not so high that Kremy couldn't reach it with his claws. He'd just have to go out head-first. He grabbed onto the ledge, and jumped a bit, using his legs to brace against the wall, and he scrambled gracelessly up, managing to shove his shoulders and one of his arms through. He struggled, scrabbling at the stucco of the wall outside and managing to free his other arm.
The person reached the top of the stairs, slamming open the door to the hallway. The noise sent a burst of adrenaline through Kremy's body and he forcibly pulled the rest of himself through the thin window, scraping down the wall to land roughly on his upper back, knees almost hitting the underside of his jaw.
Kremy groaned and rolled off himself. Gods, he was gonna be sore and limping for days after this stupid fucking heist. Kremy heard the person in the hallway above yelling for him to reveal himself and come out to face them, so Kremy scooped up his satchel and sidled his way along the wall turning the corner out of view of the window. His bag in his hands was sopping and smelled like rum - that's what that shattering sound was...
He took a moment to fish a few broken pieces of glass out of the bag, the last thing he needed was to tear it or stab himself through the fabric. Kremy looked out over the roofs. He could see the building he needed to get to from here. Most of the roofs on the way were at least relatively flat, and non with gaps between them he didn't think he could make. He secured his ruined bag across his chest.
He could already hear a commotion down in the courtyard Gideon was meant to head toward, so at the very least his muscle was doing one thing right. If they got lucky, he might even lure out any additional guards hiding inside that main building.
Kremy tried to keep his body as low as he could as he snuck across the flat rooftops - he felt incredibly exposed out here, with so many windows facing him and no cover to speak of. But, as the gods would have it, he did spy an actual door on a balcony connected to that main administrative building they were aiming for, that should, hopefully, lead them right into the city treasury.
Ohhh, please give him a win today. Something more than getting left high and dry by a big, stupid Genasi.
The long, stretched shadows were starting to envelope the city entirely as the sun said its final goodbyes and dipped down below the horizon, leaving them with nothing but a faint pinkish glow in the sky. All at once, lanterns began to illuminate, one hanging above the small door Kremy was aiming for as if to guide his way. Or to lure him. One or the other.
He could feel the remnants of his spilt rum soak into the front of his waistcoat, snapping his fingers to be rid of the smell at the very least as he steadied himself to leap from the roof he'd found himself on to the balcony. From here, he could see Gideon down below, though he could already hear the man.
As expected, he was surrounded by partially melted metal men in pieces, swinging his fists into another hapless mechanical thing as it mindlessly charged the threat. Good. He was being entertained, at least. The building couldn't contain that many of the things, right? They looked expensive, as fragile as they were up against one violent Genasi.
He braced himself, eyes on the short wall of the balcony, holding his bag steady as he pushed himself forward as fast as he could and took a flying leap off the edge of the roof. It really wasn't that far, but he had no faith in his own acrobatics.
And he shouldn't, as the toe of his shoe clipped that short wall and he was sent sprawling, snout first, onto the hard wooden balcony, tumbling limbs tied up in one big mess. If that rum had been intact before, it would be gone now.
Cursing and swearing under his breath that he shouldn't have to do this, it wasn't his job, it was undignified and he better not have torn his shirt or his trousers, and that he'd be bruised up for weeks, Kremy slowly tried to use the wall to pull himself up. The sore and disgruntled lizardfolk managed to get back on his feet, and gripped the brass handle of the door, taking a moment to mentally prepare himself. If this door was locked-
It clicked open.
Oh thank the Baron, nobody had to die today.
With a soft creak, Kremy pulled the door out and slipped himself inside, letting it close behind him as he looked up and down the well-lit hallways. Certainly looked like the right place, with plush carpet and paintings up on the walls. Fancy shit.
Unfortunately, however, he did not have a map of the interior of this place. Either he had to hope he stumbled across the right place, or he grabbed some hapless janitor and shook them until they pointed him in the right direction.
Outside and below, Gideon Coal was honestly having the time of his life. About three or four of the hulking metal men lay around his feet with large dents and melted holes in their shiny bodies, and he was far from done.
"That all you got? I can keep goin' all night, come get me!" A length of thick, heavy chain shot out toward one of the approaching guardsmen, wrapping tight around the pike held in its grasp and tearing it away, ripping one of its hands with the weapon, "Hah! Whoever built you fucks didn't give a shit about good craftsmanship, you're shoddy at best!"
The thing tried to swing its intact hand at Gideon, but he grabbed it and crushed it into a wad of scrap metal in his hot fist. He pushed it to the ground and lunged for the next one, using his manacle to block a strike from its polearm and send it glancing away from him before he grabbed it by what would be its chest plate and hooked a hand into it. He yanked it to the side letting it collide with another automaton guard. The seemed to keep coming, trickling out of the grounds of the building. Not that he was complaining, they were basically big punching bags he could melt through.
He sidestepped another stab aimed at his head and brought his chains around to melt into the thing when he spotted a flash of green and purple form the corner of his eye. He yanked the chains and sent it crashing to the ground, moving to stomp on its mechanical head and torso, then craned his neck to look up.
Kremy was scurrying all sneaky like along one of the roofs. His gait was a bit off, but he didn't look too worse for wear. He was definitely going faster than before they dealt with that leg. Gideon broke into a maniacal grin for a moment. Yeah, fuck a plan, they didn't need no plan, he and the boss had this shit, this is what they did. Gideon winced when he saw the little green figure eat absolute shit trying to jump between roofs. It got a little huff of schadenfreude laughter out of him but his smile dropped.
Gideon stood and rolled his shoulders, any sweat steaming off his blazing skin. It looked like he'd taken care of most of the guards for now. There were probably more inside though... maybe he could go find a couple of those to put his fists through. He used his foot to push through some of the debris - he wasn't seeing too many mechanical parts. No gears or chains or power source. The looked like they were essentially empty suits of armour, and thin armour at that it usually took him at least a bit more effort to melt through some pretentious asshole's real plate armour.
They must be magic, then. That was way more his bosses thing. Kremy was a big magic guy. He honestly didn't see him use magic too often, the guy did fine with that fancy talk and silver tongue of his - but when he did, Gideon could tell he was good at it. He shivered a little thinking about how... comfortable it had felt to have his entire will be subsumed by his boss's.
That shit was fucking weird. Kremy and Gideon's business partnership worked because each of them could easily kill the other, and in different ways. They had skills the other didn't. Thank the Gods Gideon didn't have to try and lie to people these days, just had to stand back and look all intimidating. And thank goodness he was there to do heavy lifting for the guy, watching him struggle with shit was just embarrassing.
Gideon wandered through the now very unguarded gate, to at least poke around. Kremy didn't give him any instructions past go that way, distract those guys or whatever. He stuck his hands in his pocket and sauntered forwards nonchalantly.
It was oddly quiet, there was some kind of reception desk behind glass, but nobody was actually sat there. He dinged the bell and immediately kicked himself for it, but nobody came. Huh. That was weird, and a little suspicious. He listened out, but he couldn't hear anything either, so he just picked a direction and headed off in the hopes he found Kremy, then stopped. There was something cold and hard pressing against his fingers in his left pocket. It took a moment of feeling around the shape before he could recognise what it was.
Aw, fuck.
He had the damn key.
Completely oblivious to the fact that he was in fact key-less, Kremy Lecroux had his back to a stone wall, creeping down short hallways that wound and curved near constantly, littered with seemingly random doors. None of them were locked. None of them had anything useful inside. Endless meeting rooms, storage rooms of nothing but horribly organised scrolls full of accounting, random lavish guest rooms that didn't even have fancy soaps for him to steal. Useless!
His frustration built and built, starting to march down these stupid hallways without any care for how loud he was anymore. If someone discovered him, at the very least he could get them to give him directions!
Speak of the devil.
He turned a corner, and right in front of him with an armful of those scrolls coming toward him was an elderly tiefling, who simply froze up at rhe sight of him.
"You- You're not meant to be in here!"
"Phenomenal observation, my good sir, and I will be vacating the premises shortly. But before that, would you kindly show me the way to the city treasury? I have a deposit to make."
Urgh, using up yet another spell slot, this better not backfire on him like earlier. He didn't get a whole lot of spells to start off with. Thankfully, the goatish man straightened up and stammered out an apology, guiding Kremy further down the hall and taking a left. Excellent. Now, he just had to unlock it, with-
His hand felt over his pocket. Flat. Empty. Did it fall out when he crashed into the balcony? Or did Gideon never actually give it to him? Oh, hells. He didn't have time to panic, glancing behind him to check nobody was following them constantly as he kept pace with the surprisingly fast old man.
It seemed like only a few minutes before they reached a large, intimidating looking door. Gods, he swears he could've found this place on his own. The tiefling turned to him and smiled, bobbing in a short little head bow.
"Here we are. I assume you were given a key at the front?"
Oh, this got worse. He could've just walked in the front door from the very start and asked to be let in? He was about done with all this bullshit, he really was.
He wanted to take a swig of rum, but of course that had gone wrong too. He swore having this fucking assistant was making him sloppy. Before this guy his first instinct wouldn't be to climb rooftops he would have just talked his way in. Gideon's unnecessary fuck ups were going to be the end of him - if not getting the two of them killed then giving him a aneurism at way too young an age. Where the fuck was the guy.
Kremy turned to the tiefling man he was following. "Actually, I have a friend waiting for me up at the front, he's got our key. I was just taking care of some other business before we made that deposit."
The man listened attentively, eyes still glazed over. The spell should keep.
"Would you be so kind as to fetch him for me? Big guy, ‘bout this tall," he lifted his arm above his head and indicated about six and a half feet. "Red with horns, bit like you, friend. He should be at the front entrance."
The man nodded a polite agreement. "Of course! I will see if i can bring him right back here," he said calmly, almost cheerfully, and turned on his heel to head down a different hallway.
"Careful he doesn't hit you, friend. Tell him his boss is lookin' for him," he called after him." that better bring him running..." he muttered to himself.
Kremy was in a room with multiple hallways branching off of it, including the one he'd come from and the one the scrolls guy had headed down. It was empty besides the big safe door. He aught to find somewhere to hide himself while he waited for his key.
Gideon wandered random halls. The wallpaper was all fancy and the paintings were all fancy and everything was all fancy. He could burn this whole place down like it was a bunch of dry brush with the amount of cheesy wallpaper it was covered in, but Kremy told him no more arson. Unless they really needed to. Really really needed to, apparently, based on how he got chewed out the last time he set something on fire.
Gideon took another aimless turn, paying more attention to his fire based fantasies than his feet, and ran into a figure. Instinctually, Gideon grabbed them by the shoulders and wheeled around, slamming them into the near wall. He held them to it with crushing weight. It wasn't another of those metal guys this time, it was just some little horned dude. He looked pretty harmless - all noodly limbs and glasses and shit. Gideon lightened his grip, but still glared at him cautiously, in the way he knew made people feel threatened.
The guy didn't really look scared, though. Gideon could fix that for him. He looked at Gideon with a pleasant expression, which dawned into recognition.
"You're not up front, friend," the man said. His voice was way too composed and unstartled for the dangerous situation he was in. Could he not tell that Gideon could clearly kill him with barely a flick of his wrist?
"Your boss is looking for you!" The man smiled.
Gideon frowned. Who the fuck was this guy? Kremy knew a lot of people but he'd said he didn't know anyone in this town. Then he got a good look at the guys eyes, actually paying attention to them. They were red with goat-like pupils, but a purple sheen covered them, almost like swirling cataracts. Oh, Kremys magic. That made sense. It was the same spell he used all the time. It was the same spell he'd used on him just a while ago.
Gideon remembered what that magic had felt like clouding his head, and how satisfying it had been to kiss and grind into his boss up against the wall, giving his all to fulfilling a command and being rewarded for it by the soothing hum of magic singing praise through all his hot, rushing blood. That shit was fucking weird. Felt odd. Even the memory of it sent goosebumps all down his skin. The way Kremy had made him act with it followed them with a flash of heat, mixing in his stomach into an odd twisting feeling when he looked at this random man under the same influence.
He dropped the man unceremoniously onto the floor, but he didn't seem to mind that either, and Gideon hated it. Look at you, with a stupid smile on your face. Bet he didn't even appreciate what he had, Kremy's magic like a soft cloud around his head. Gideon appreciated it, he'd felt the loss as soon as Kremy's concentration failed, leaving him. Bastard. But if he knew where his boss had ended up, he couldn't risk turning him to mush.
"Where is he, then? Gonna take me to him or just stand there like an idiot?"
"Oh, of course, I was instructed to fetch you. Please, follow me, he's waiting to make a deposit with you."
The hell was a deposit? With him? Gideon shrugged it off and set off after the tiefling, immediately frustrated over how short and slow his steps were, trapping Gideon behind him. Oh, this was the worst. He'd better get to toss this guy out a window after all this.
Kremy didn't have to wait more than a good fifteen minutes, but gods it felt like hours. Who knew that boredom would be the thing to kill him after everything. At the very least, he found a little chair to perch in and save his hips, crossing one leg over the others while he waited. The moment he heard those heavy footsteps and the clanking of thick chains, he sprang back onto his feet, cane out in front of him in both hands.
Thank fuck, Gideon. He was so happy to see that man's handsome face again, and by the stupid grin on his face and the way he shoved that tiefling aside, he was grateful to be back by Kremy's side.
"Got that key?"
"Sure do, right here. I can't believe I didn't give it to you, man. This is the place?"
Before Kremy could reply, Gideon shoved the key in the door, twisted, and heard the mechanisms inside start to whir and click. Slowly, the doors began to open up on their own, as if pushed by an invisible force. Ohhhh. He'd love to get in there, see how it worked- Way more interesting than empty stupid magic constructs.
Kremy peered around the doors, narrowing his eyes and extended his cane, tapping it over the ground and waving it through the air.
"You doin' magic, Kremy?"
"I'm checking for traps, Gideon."
The Genasi made a grumbling noise, and Kremy knew he hadn't considered that in the least. He was gonna just walk in there and if he got shot by a bolt, he'd just take it. Idiot man. Once he was sure nothing was waiting to fuck them up, he nudged Gideon to go in first. Go do your job for once, bodyguard.
"Aright, aright, I got it... Kremy, this don't look like mountains of gold."
"Move aside, you big lug, let me- oh, gods, no."
Once Kremy pushed his skinny little body past Gideon, the sight that befell his eyes was horrifying. No chests. No gold. No jewellery or suits of armour or...anything. Just a plinth with a gigantic book chained to it. Thick, dark leather and a gnarled cover, with the word 'Treasury' on it.
Kremy whirled around and stormed back out, grabbing the tiefling by the collar and shaking him, jabbing his cane back toward the room.
"What in the hell is that?"
"The treasury?"
"Wheres the money, the gold? Valuables?"
"It's a magic book! You write in what you want to deposit, and if you own that, the item or items will be transported into a pocket dimension!"
Ohhhh, now he wanted to toss this guy out a window. What the actual hell. Dropping the man, he turned and groaned, trying to think of something, anything, a way to get out of this stupid, stupid situation on a win. He wasn't having all that be for nothing!
"Pocket dimension?" Gideon loomed behind Kremy "The hells he talkin about?"
"You're going to tell me exactly what the fuck you man by pocket dimension, friend." Kremy white-knuckled his cane, tail thumping wildly behind him, barely maintaining his composure. "Or I'll let my bodyguard here have his way with you," he added in a low tone, looking to Gideon.
Gideon grinned and cracked his knuckles, clearly assured and excited by Kremy's promise of violence.
The man smiled dumbly up at Kremy. Had Gideon smiled at Kremy like that when he was under his magic's influence? He half hoped the man snapped out of it so he’d get to turn him into pencil-pusher mush.
The man complied. "Pocket dimensions are like places that are bigger on the inside than the outside-"
"I know what the fuck they are," Kremy cut him off. "I need you to tell me about this one. Specifically."
Kremy needed to calm himself down, he didn't need to get so angry he lost his concentration on maintaining the spell.
"Oh, of course," the man got back on track. "A bag of holding, I believe it's called. We have one. That's where we keep all the city's funds. There's no point in it taking up so much room. A pocket dimension is so much easier."
"Good," Kremy praised. "Now, friend, mind telling me where that would be?"
"Yeah! You fuckin' tell him!" Gideon interjected awkwardly.
"Oh! Of course. It's usually on the mayor's person. Not many are allowed to know that, in fact. It looks like a normal coin purse, but it can hold hundreds of pounds of items."
Kremy sighed. "I'm gonna lose my shit," he muttered under his breath, putting his head into his hands. "Gideon, you can go ahead and take care of him." Kremy waved in the direction of the man. Gideon's face lit up in sadistic glee.
Where the fuck had Gideon dumped the mayors body? it had been back past the plaza they'd walked through... and the guards had clearly found him. Would the body even still be there? And if it was, would it already have been robbed clean?
This plan was well and thoroughly fucked. Kremy's body ached, his ego was wounded - at least his stupid fucking bodyguard was having a good time. Gideon was busy shoving that useless tiefling against the wall and crushing his wind pipe in with the butt of his hand. Kremy's suggestion spell had dropped when Gideon had started to really do some damage, but the pressure on his throat stopped him from crying out.
It was well past dinner-time now, and he knew his companion got snippy when he wasn't fed, and more guards were surely on their tail. Fuck it, Kremy thought. He knew when it was time to cut his losses - usually. Or at least sometimes, even if it takes him way too long to buy into the sunk-cost fallacy.
Kremy turned to Gideon, who was now kicking at the ribs of the unconscious tiefling with a sickening series of cracks. At least Kremy could get a good show out of this. "Hey, Gideon."
Gideon perked up at his name, taking a few last stomps before turning to address Kremy. "Yeah, boss?"
"I think I'm about ready to cut our damn losses. What do you say to a bit of pyrotechnics to close out our day?"
Gideon broke out into a grin. "You're gonna let little ole me get down to some arson?"
"Give me a show, big man." A wicked, dangerous smile spread across Kremy's cold, reptilian maw. "start with their stupid fuckin' book."
Gideon gave him a playful salute, and marched over to the book, dragging his bloodied toy with him, tossing him against the pedestal, where he slumped bonelessly.
Gideon flipped open the book, and held his hand above the enticingly flammable pages, and tensed, his hair turning into a blaze and fire crawling up his back and flickering off his arms. As soon as he placed his hand down onto the book, it burst into flame. He turned back to Kremy, eyes wild and ecstatic.
"The whole place?" Gideon asked.
"The whole place, Gideon. Don't disappoint me."
"We better get our asses movin' outta here then, unless you wanna get singed." he winked at Kremy.
The pair ran for the direction they knew the entrance was in while Gideon gleefully shot off motes of flame at every chintzy decoration that had drawn his ire while he'd wandered the halls looking for Kremy.
The entire building was ablaze by the time they found the exit, roaring, crackling flames licking up the walls and consuming those awful paintings. At the very least, it seemed the tiefling was the last employee in there, since they weren't hearing any horrifying screams. Kremy was a little disappointed in that, really. They deserved to be burned to a crisp for not letting him steal from them. Stupid book, stupid mayor, stupid city.
Gideon grabbed his arm as he ran, pulling Kremy out into the courtyard and through that narrow passage they'd first come through. It was back down countless steep, winding steps, trying desperately to find an exit before the guards found them, and before too long, the adrenaline took hold.
The frustration and anger burned away with that godforsaken book, both of them laughing and mocking the plume of smoke rising into the sky as they scrambled over a wall. Gideon helped Kremy down the other side, feet landing on soft grass, and they both set off running again, down the mountainside toward a thick treeline, away from their troubles and crimes and failures.
Breathless and grinning, eventually they stopped, staggering into a small clearing in the towering spruce forest, Kremy sitting down a little too hard on a fallen log, while Gideon just lay down on the ground, chest heaving as he panted. Gods. That was stupid and reckless and they didn't even hit it big like they wanted, but his heart was pumping and he did get to finally do a good bit of arson. Kremy nudged him with a foot, making him roll over, and started to empty his pockets to inspect the pickings of the day.
"Right- At least the purses were decent. I swiped seven or so..." He began to look through each stolen coin purse, emptying their contents into his hand to count the coppers, silvers and occasional gold piece before putting them back in, memorising the amount as he muttered them under his breath. "Around forty gold in total. Not completely fruitless, I suppose."
"Oh, yeah, I grabbed a coin purse off the mayor, but he was skint. Miserable dick. Dunno how that city was so damn rich with a penniless mayor."
He dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out the pouch, wiggling it. Flat and empty with some kind of embossing on the leather. Looked nice quality, at least. Maybe they could sell it? Kremy's eyes narrowed, and he snatched it out of Gideon's hand. Oh, this was even worse. He got his hopes up for a moment before Gideon said the thing was empty.
"What? That's insane. We literally couldn't have had worse luck. It can't be empty! Unless it was a decoy to stop people stealing his actual money. I hate that."
Disgruntled, Kremy opened the drawstring, and shoved his hand inside, feeling about. Come on, gold, just a singular gold piece, anything! He came for gold, he didn't want to leave with only 40 to his damn name-
Something cold and hard enveloped his hand, like flat pebbles, despite the pouch itself looking thr exact same. In a panic, he closed his fist and wrenched it from the bag, holding the thing at arms length. What in the hell was that?
"Kremy? Where the hell did that all come from?"
"What are you talking about, the bag, it- Oh, gods, Gideon..."
Kremy's yellow eyes grew wide as he stared down at the hand he'd pulled free, mirroring the flat shiny disks of gold coins filling his fist. They were real, hard, solid gold. The coinpurse stayed empty and flat. Holy shit.
"Gideon. Gideon, do you know what this is? Do you?"
The intensity of his boss's voice told him he really should know, but the sight of a fistful of gold already had him sitting up on a bed of pine needles, eyes as wide as Kremy's.
"The fuck is that? Is it real?"
"Gideon, this is a bag of holding! It's the fucking pocket dimension that idiot, no-good secretary said the book was connected to, Gid! It's the entire city's treasury, you stole it already, before all that bullshit!"
Kremy had Gideon by the shoulders, a maniacal glee filling his yellow eyes as his claws dug into the fabric of his shirt. "Gods, I could kiss you, Gideon. We struck it fucking rich!" He cackled.
Gideon grinned along with him, half delirious from the mad dash out of the city and the sudden excitement of that bag he'd swiped. "Damn, I wish you fuckin' would, boss."
"Huh?" Kremy was sticking his claws into the bag of holding and withdrawing handful after handful of gold, watching enraptured as he let them fall back in.
"Huh?" Gideon replied. "What'd you say?"
"That we're set for fuckin' life here. You done a real good job here!"
Gideon felt a bit of pride at the compliment. "Hah, ‘course I did. I'm good at my job."
"We could coast off this forever- an entire big fancy city's worth of gold, imagine all we could do! Hells- I could really buy my maw a big mansion, and then one for me, and I bet you could get whatever in all of Avantris you might want with your cut," Kremy pulled the drawstring tight. "When we get to the next town, well turn the thing inside out, see what all were workin' with”
The two of them had left most of their things at the inn they'd stayed at in Grevel, fortunately just replaceable travel things - neither of them had a whole ton to their name and even less that they really cared about - so they made makeshift camp under the stars. Kremy curled up close to the fire. It was a mild night, and both of them slept well, warm with laughter and dreams of everything this gold would do for them.
In the morning, Kremy pulled out his big map of the area. It was stained with rum now, but he mapped their way to the next little village to pick up new travelling supplies, then their way to Derlean, the nearest major city, where Kremy claimed they could live it big.