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Dazai felt empty, his soul was tainted by the blood of others. He was laying inside the apartment of a certain ginger, they'd gotten done with work and Dazai decided to follow the other boy home. Chuuya had thrown a blanket over his still body, scoffing,
"Why are you still here?"
"Who knows why I'm still alive."
"God- that's not what I was asking, and you know it." Chuuya huffed, he pushed Dazai's legs to the side, so he could sit on the couch.
"..." Dazai stared at Chuuya, and rested his legs on the other, "Chibi,"
"What?"
"When I'm gone, can you leave my soul to rest?"
"I'm sorry?" Chuuya's eyebrows pulled together, confusion etching itself onto his face.
"I mean, when I die please don't try to bring me back,"
Chuuya stared at Dazai, concern emanating from him, "I'm not gonna let you die in the first place dip shit," he crossed his arms, and gripped them looked off to the side, he continued "why'd you even change the topic?"
"I don't know, it just... Came to mind," Dazai pulled his legs twords himself slightly.
Dazai felt Chuuya's hand resting on his knee, the smaller boy leaned forward and grabbed the TV remote, and turned the TV on, "what do you wanna watch?"
"You're actually letting me chose this time!" His eyes sparkled with fake excitement, "I never thought this day would ever come."
"Shut up," Chuuya kicked the brunette, "answer the danm question, asshole."
"Owie!!! Chibi is soooooo mean," Dazai threw his hand to his head, "this is abuse!!! Bad dog!"
"Oh my god, shut the fuck up!" Chuuya exclaimed, "I was trying to be nice."
"GASP! CHUUYA BEING NICE?!"
"You're so melodramatic."
"You love me, just admit it," Dazai had a smug grin on his face, his eyes gleamed with emotion that wasn't there moments before.
"I hate you with every fiber of my being."
"That's not a lot of hate then."
"Shut! Shut- shut the fuck up!" Chuuya moved from his position on the couch to pin Dazai down, pressing the others shoulders into the couch Chuuya sneered, "I'm not that much shorter than you!"
"Gah-!" Dazai struggling to keep Chuuya from pummeling him quipped back "Nu-uh! You're supper teeny tiny, extraordinarily small, micro- AHH!" Chuuya kneed Dazai in the gut, "MICROSCOPIC!"
Dazai rolled off the couch, dragging Chuuya down with him, they ended up kicking, and punching each other rolling around on the floor, Dazai making short comments and Chuuya kept swearing.
They kept trying to pin one another but failed as the other would get away for a second, they were a mess of flailing limbs. In that moment the two felt like actual teenagers, just hanging out, and doing childish things, rather than murderers.
Chuuya covered Dazai's mouth before quickly pulling it away, "EW! WHY'D YOU LICK ME?!" He wiped his hand onto Dazai's dress shirt, looking horrified.
With a wicked smile Dazai jumped up and pinned the other down winning the fight, "so that I would win, obviously. Now, admit that you love me!"
"You're still on about that!?" Chuuya exclaimed, with a kick he pushed Dazai to the ground, switching their positions. "I. don't. love. you." He began straddling Dazai, poking his finger into Dazai's face, annunciating every word
"Why not? Everybody loves me," Dazai smirked up at the shorter boy, "also the position we're in says otherwise." He then wiggled his eyebrows weirdly.
Chuuya's eyes widened, and he pushed himself backwards, off of Dazai. He scrambled away from the other, "you- QUIET!" His face turned a furious shade of red, "I was winning that fight asshole."
He grabbed a pillow off the couch and threw it directly at Dazai's face, he caught it and placed it onto the floor.
"Why are you so against the idea of loving me?"
"God, I," Chuuya sighed, "I can't explain it," he got up, and sat back down on the couch.
"Oh..." Dazai got up as well, dusted off his pants, and sat on the end furthest from Chuuya, "I understand." He began picking at his shirt sleeve, the button up suddenly feeling to tight.
They sat there, silence consuming them, Dazai felt like all the air was suck out of the room. Chuuya's voice cut through the silence, trying to remove the awkwardness that encased the room, "sooo... Wanna watch Gilmore Girls?"
Dazai stared at Chuuya incredulously, "dude, you practically just rejected me, why would I want to watch Gilmore Girls with you?"
"I don't know... Wanna get drunk instead?"
"... Sure, why not." Dazai sighed.
Chuuya got up, walked to his kitchen, and opened a cupboard. Inside the cupboard was around 16 different bottles of wine, Chuuya grabbed one of the already opened bottles and two wine glasses.
"Chibiiii......" Dazai complained, "wine? Seriously? That stuffs naasstttyyyy..."
"Says you, Mr "I drink whiskey cuz I'm cool" that doesn't make you cool, it just makes you a depressed middle age man."
"And you get drunk after just one, teeny tiny sip of wine." He held his index finger and thumb close together, "wine doesn't even have that high of an alcohol content."
"And how would you know that?" Chuuya crossed his arms, wine bottle in one hand, the glasses in his other hand.
"Because the alcohol content in whiskey averages around 40% while wine only averages around 15%"
"That doesn't answer my question dip shit." Chuuya set the glasses on the coffee table, he unscrewed the cork screw cap, "also you don't get a choice in what we're drinking, this is all I have." He poured some wine into a glass then almost completely filled the other.
Dazai huffed, "I know because I like to know alcohol percentages, that one better be for me." He pointed at the almost full glass.
Chuuya nodded his head in confrontation, "you're a fucking weirdo, imagine getting joy from knowing the alcohol content in different alcohols." He picked up his own glass and took a small sip.
"God how can you actually enjoy the taste of wine." He shook his head before chugging the entire glass of wine, "it doesn't even burn!" Complained Dazai.
Chuuya looked horrified at the other, his jaw slack, "why would you do that?" He asked
"Because, alcohol isn't ment to be enjoyed it's ment to be consumed." Dazai reached for the bottle, and was about to down the whole thing before he was stopped.
"Geeze, don't drink all of it." He took a moment before deciding something, "throw on a jacket or something, we're going to a liquor shop."
"You have a good fake ID?"
"No? Why would I need a fake ID?"
"Don't you need an ID to prove your age...?"
"No, wh- why would they do that?"
"Because that's what they do in America?"
"We don't live in America? Have you been showing liquor store clerks a fake ID?"
"No..? Why would I do that, I just bully my subordinates into buying it for me..."
"Wait, why and how are you bullying literal adults into buying you alcohol? Actually don't answer that." Chuuya seemed dumbfounded, "honestly how come you haven't figured it out by now?"
"I just assumed..." Dazai trailed off looking at the floor.
"Well you assumed wrong, oh and the most they do at convenience stores is ask me to press a button that says I'm 20."
"Oh..."
"Yeah oh, now let's go." Chuuya stood up and grabbed Dazai by the arm and lifted him up.
"Wait, but isn't the drinking age 21?"
"No idiot, that's for Americans."
They both walked to the door, grabbing their coats respectively. They switched into their outside shoes, and exited the apartment. Their trip down the stairs was quite, their footsteps echoing through the halls, Chuuya had his hands stuffed in his pockets, Dazai was holding onto the others sleeve.
When they stepped outside, the two boys got hit with the cold October air, their breath mixing with the air creating a cloud of mist. Dazai let go of Chuuya's sleeve, and extended his hand to the shorter boy. Chuuya glanced at Dazai's hand, rolled his eyes but laced their hands together none the less.
Chuuya shoved his and Dazai's hands into his pocket again, keeping both their hands warm. Dazai pulled Chuuya closer to himself, the older swayed slightly, the alcohol from earlier effecting his balance.
"God you're such a lightweight."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"I'm only slightly un balanced."
"And the world is spinning?"
"Yeah... But I'm fine."
Dazai rolled his eyes, "sure you are." He chuckled lightly. The walk felt slow, as did most of Dazai's life, a slow decent twords hell, the only thing keeping Dazai from jumping off a bridge was Chuuya.
"Chibi..."
"What Zai?"
"Zai?" He shook his head, "nevermind, why are you against loving me?" He asked the same question as before, in hopes it would get answered this time.
"..." Chuuya looked at the sky, searching for stars that don't show, "because I know you, I guess."
Dazai felt confused, "because you know me?"
"Yeah," Chuuya looked at Dazai, "I know that once I admit I love you, you're going to go on another self sabotage spree, trying to make me hate you."
Dazai stopped in his tracks, he squeezed Chuuya's hand ever so slightly.
"And I know that it's because you think you're unlovable, but you're not, you've just got issues that need to be worked through."
"If I... If I promise to never leave you, or self sabotage, will you tell me that you love me..?" Dazai asked, his voice hesitant.
"Maybe... Maybe if I were more drunk.." Chuuya stared at the ground.
Dazai looked at Chuuya, took in a deep breath, "let's go to the liquor store, yeah Chuuya?" His voice was laced with joy.
"Yeah..." Chuuya said, looking forward.
The taller rushed forward, dragging Chuuya along with him. Once Chuuya fell into pace with him, Dazai began swinging their hands back and forth.
Chuuya allowed himself to practically be dragged, his eyes kept closing, despite the cold. His mind kept wandering to Dazai's mood change, how he switched from upset to happy. Dazai did that a lot though, where it was lying to a random person in the street, it to their boss, he could change in a split second.
They continued their walk to the liquor store in a comfortable silence, the hum of cars driving around. Lights in the city illuminated them, their skin glew all different colors.
Once they made it to the liquor store, Dazai let go of Chuuya's hand, and walked up to the store clerk.
"Excuse me, but do you guys currently have any coffee whiskey?" He asked.
Chuuya cupped his hands to his face, and blew warm air into them as he walked over to Dazai.
"Yes we do," The clerk answered, written on her name tag was Hayashi Umeko.
"Great!" Dazai turned around to Chuuya, "where is it?"
"Why are you asking me? I only drink wine," Chuuya stated.
Dazai shot Chuuya a glare before turning back to the clerk, "Uh," he looked at her name tag, "Hayashi, where would the whisky be located?"
"It would be located over there," she pointed twords an area which had a sign saying "whiskey" above it
"Oh..." His face flushed red, "thank you," he dipped his head slightly, then quickly walked to the aforementioned area.
His eyes scanned the labels, until he saw the bottle he was looking for. He grabbed it and walked to the front.
Dazai placed the bottle on the countertop, Hayashi scanned the bottle and asked for the money. He thumbed through his wallet and placed ¥30,000 on the tray, which was way above the price for a Nikka coffee malt whiskey.
Hayashi placed the excess money back onto the tray and slid it, with the whisky, over to Dazai. He took them, thanked her, and left with Chuuya in tow.
When they were a good ways away Dazai finally spoke, "holy hell, I'm shocked that she just let me buy this..."
"Yeah, they really don't id you,"Chuuya shrugged, his hands were in his pockets. He was kicking at the rocks on the ground.
"You okay?" Dazai asked.
"Yeah, just bored I guess," Chuuya replied.
"Wanna make out on a park bench?" Dazai suggested, sarcasm and something else coating his voice.
"... You just want to kiss me, don't you," Chuuya accused, a small smile tug at his lips.
"Mayyyybbbbeeeee..." Dazai dragged the word out, a smile of his own gracing his face.
"God, you're such an ass." Commented Chuuya.
He shoved his hand in Dazai's face, pushing it away from him.
"Don't get any ideas."
"I would never think such things," Dazai defended, holding his hands up.
"Good," Chuuya chuckled slightly.
They continued their walk back to Chuuya's apartment, joking around with one another.