Work Text:
“Hm?”
“Let me take you out.”
Standing in his kitchen, muttering vague threats to his slow-as-shit microwave while waiting for the popcorn to finish popping, Wade Winston Wilson was convinced he had finally lost whatever little sanity still bounced around the rest of his head like the DVD logo.
Because that had to be it, right? There was no way that he had just heard those words in that order out of Peter Pretty Parker's mouth. No way. Nuh huh.
~♡~
It had been 3 long years since they had started their “super-epic-super-bros team ups” as Wade called them, but Peter just called them patrols. From the beginning it had taken 6 months of suggesting (begging) before Peter accepted one of Wade’s invitations to eat something together, something casual, on a rooftop, and another 6 months of taste testing every possible take out place all over Queens before Peter agreed to spend any time at Wade’s apartment.
At first, they kept it simple: Still eating take out food from various spots and rating them on a scale from one to eight, which at first Peter had questioned, of course. Why eight, ‘Pool? And to Wade the answer had been pretty obvious. It's the sexiest one digit number, Webs. Duh.
After a while Wade dared to start start turninging on his frankly ridiculously big TV, putting whatever on so they would have some background noise and Wade would have something to stare at other other than Spidey's perfect mouth, with itswith its perfect cupid's bow andand that slight stubble he sported on Sundays and sometimes on Mondays. It made Wade cream his pants a little and always left him strangely flustered in ways that he wasn't aware he could be anymore.
They talked during their meals, they talked during patrol time, they of course talked during fights, much to the criminals’ and villains’ annoyance. Spider-man could claim it was a distraction technique until the cows came home, but Wade knew the webslinger was indeed a menace, and enjoyed taking the piss outta his villains whenever he could. Hey! If they're gonna cause trouble and fuck shit up, they deserve to be heckled, okay? And Wade agreed, to be honest. If bad guys were going to terrorize some rude-ass New Yorkers, and Wade wasn't allowed to turn them into minced meat, they could stand there, get webbed, and take the goddamn quips.
And truly, Wade was good at that. Talking all the time actually was his forte; you can't have awkward silences if there are no silences at all, right?
But talking to Spidey had always been different, because Wade quickly discovered he could be rambling on and on, and the hero would actually listen. Peter would pay attention and even ask questions sometimes: he would ask about Wade's tastes, if he preferred the hot sauce that made your cheeks hurt or the one that made the tip of your tongue burn, he would ask if he preferred maxi dresses or shorter sun dresses, if he thought Tears of the Kingdom was better than Breath of the Wild.
The point is that Peter cared. Much to Wade's surprise, Peter actually cared about him, and if he went away for an international contract, Peter would ask him for how long, where, and whether he would be safe.
“Like two months, baby boy, give or take.”
“Aww ‘Pool! That's so long! I'm gonna miss you.”
And wouldn't you know it, Peter had actually missed him! When he popped back up in New York, the spider themed hero had caught him in a hug and spun him around.
~♡~
So, Wade knew Peter liked him, maybe even thought of them as pals, but this opening scence was still either a wild hallucination or Websy really needed to work on his pranks.
“Like with a sniper, baby? Sure! If the sniper can catch me!” Wade jumped from side to side, before taking the popcorn out of the microwave after the final beep.
“No, you doofus, like on a date.” Peter was sitting on Wade's couch, head thrown over the back as he looked at Wade with a fond smile on his face.
“Date on the calendar?” Pouring the popcorn into a bowl, Wade gave Peter a smile that looked more like a grimace, reaching into his fridge for the drinks.
“Boo! That was bad, even for you,” Peter turned around, now kneeling on the couch, looking stupidly hot in the shirt he had borrowed from Wade that said “YOU CAN GO TO HELL I'M GOING TO DOLLYWOOD” with an image of Dolly herself in the middle. “I mean like, on a romantic kind of date.”
“Ha! Good one, Webs.” Mean one. Not funny. Will cry all night until I puke. Frowny face with a tear.
“Wade,” Peter stood up, meeting Wade at the kitchen counter and taking the soda cans from the crook of his arm. “I'm not joking.” He gave Wade a small smile before nodding with his head to the couch. “I know we joke a lot, and I kinda wish I would have done this more romantically but yeah, I wanna take you on a date.” Sinking into Wade’s stupidly plush cushions, he put the cans on the table before opening one, taking Wade’s Cinamoroll cup and pouring the drink in, before closing the lid and pushing the glass straw through the hole. “If you want, of course.”
Wade just stood there, on the edge of the living room, looking at Peter make sure he had his drink in his favorite cup, making sure the straw was put in the way he liked and doing so in such an effortless way, like somebody had ever cared to do that kind of bullshit for Wade, like he was worth doing that bullshit for.
If it wasn't a joke, it wasn't some kooky mind control, and Peter was actually looking up at him like he had hung up the sun, the moon and the one single star they could see in New York. Peter Benjamin Parker was actually asking him on a date. After almost three years of constantly hanging around with Wade, he somehow still thought “Wouldn't it be nice?” And wasn't that fucked up?
“Mmmkay Websy, I'll play along,” before Peter could reply to that, the merc barreled on. “So what? By date you mean seeing who can give a better blow job to an extra long hotdog on our favorite roof? Because I will win, sugar, you can bet on that.” Wade dropped down on his couch, placing the bowl in between them, eyeing his cup like it was going to bite at him.
“Doesn't count as winning if you choke on the hotdog and die, Wade” Peter replied with a laugh, shaking his head and batting his hand almost like batting away the thought.
“You're just jealous” finally reaching for his cup, noticing that Peter even placed the lid the way he liked. The tab has to be on the other side of Cinamoroll. Otherwise it's not as tasty. “But fine, we can have burgers on a roof and you can call that a date.” And Wade could put this stupid hallucination to sleep and keep on with his night and totally not cry later.
“No, no, not fast food on a rooftop,” Peter shook his head, that perfect fluffy rat's nest, a little damp from the sweat that wearing masks inevitably created, swishing with the motion. “An actual date, to an actual restaurant where we can sit face to face and order from a menu and play footsie under the tablecloth.”
“Baby cakes, you have some big-ass feet, we'd knock the table down.” That was surely a good enough reason for Peter to not go on a date with Wade, mainly one where Peter would have to look at Wade in public, against the backdrop of normal, gorgeous people who made him look even more disgusting in comparison. But it only pulled a laugh out of Peter, who kicked softly at Wade's thigh, who's only response was to stick his tongue out and slowly lean down.
“I knew you'd like feet. Nasty.” Peter lightly kicked at Wade’s thigh and pulled back his foot, sitting on top of his feet while still giving Wade a stupidly earnest look.
“Feet are one of the most common fetishes. Get with the times, virgin.” Wade reached to grab a handful of popcorn, fully intending on continuing their night as usual.
“Wade,” Peter intercepted his hand before he could reach the bowl, forcing the merc to look at him out of the corner of his eye. “If you don't want to go on a date with me, I'm not gonna force you.” Wade turned to look at Peter, the honesty in those big brown eyes leaving Wade speechless. “And if you say no, we'll still be friends, we can still patrol and have game night and movie night, I promise.”
“Can we still have our quarterly platonic BDSM orgies?”
God. Shut the fuck up.
Peter snorted, an ugly sound that made Wade’s heart beat on double time. “Sure, you can keep imagining those.” Grabbing Wade's hand with both of his hands now, and looking down at it like he wanted to engrave every line of the knuckles and every scar of his palm in his mind, Peter kept going. “But I think this is something we both want, I want to be so good to you, and I…I kinda wanna hope all that flirting you do is maybe not all joking?” biting the inside of his cheek, he looked up, meeting Wade's eyes with an unsure smile.
“No…it's uhm, it's not” Wade turned on the couch, to fully face Peter. “And you're a hundred billion jizzillion times sure you want to go out with me? In public? Where you can also be seen?”
“I do. I'm really, really sure, ‘Pool.”
In a gesture that would have Wade kicking his feet and giggling all night, Peter lifted Wade’s hand, placing a soft kiss on the scarred knuckles, holding it to his lips where Wade could feel the warmth of his breath and the softness of his lips, almost cooling against the constant slight burn of his skin.
“Go out with me, Wade. Just one date, and if you hate it, we can just stay friends, same as always.” Peter placed another feather-soft kiss on Wade's hand, rubbing his knuckles softly.
“...Okay. Sure, Pete,” Wade gave him a watery smile. “Take me on a date.”
~~~♡~~~
“Why did you say yes?! You stupid motherfucker!” Wade yelled at himself. He threw the shirt he had in his hand against the wall, snarling at it when it just flopped to the ground, not even having the courtesy to make a satisfying thud against the wall.
When he had said yes to a date with Peter, he hadn't really thought it through. He had been too charmed by Peter kissing his hand before he left, telling him that he would pick him up at 7:00 and to wear something that he felt nice in.
Can't do the suit. Petey can't be seen with Deadpool.
Want to do the suit tho.
Wade wanted to go out with Peter. He had been wanting since the moment he had first laid eyes on that spandex-covered booty, but he had never thought it would actually happen! There had been many a dream, but they were always more or less stupid fantasies of Wade riding a unicorn and sweeping Spidey off his feet, or asking Peter out in a strangely Elvis-like cadence with the hero fainting from excitement. Something like that. Something that even Wade’s swiss cheese wheel of a brain could tell was fake.
This was real. Wade was 96% sure of it. Peter Parker had asked him on a date and now he only had 20 minutes to be ready, charming, and as un-gross as possible.
And yes, Wade had an impressive amount of clothes, but the more he pulled from his closet, the less options he had. He liked his dresses, and Peter had seen him in a dress prior to asking him out, but what if it was too much now? For a first date? Like it wasn't bad enough people would see Wade, standing next to Peter, tainting him by the mere fact of standing around him. Fuck. Wade was fucked.
The merc slapped his palms against the mattress, nodding his head frantically as he looked at the possible outfits laid all over his room.
Okay. Get it together, Wilson.
"Maximum effort.”
His crochet maxi dress? Out of the question. Wade didn't know where Peter planned to take him, and the prospect of this date was already daunting enough without worrying about his dress getting snagged on something. His black dress pants and blue dress shirt? God, no. What was he, an accountant? His comfiest option would be his flannel jammies but even he could admit those we're a tad informal not to mention he still had to mend that hole in the-
"Oh! Oh! Flannel!” Wade raised his fist, dashing to his closet and barely avoided slipping on a pair of leggings he had thrown on the floor. "Can't brain myself, gotta get dressed!” Rifling through his hangers, letting his fingers catch on some nice textures before he finally found it. “You.“
It was something Wade had found in a second hand store, calling to him like a flame to a moth, and he had snatched It from the rack without a second thought, because what if he hesitated and someone else took it and they didn't even style it properly!
It was a red and black jumpsuit, with thick straps and a belt that cinched tight at the waist, perfect for accentuating the size of Wade's shoulders. It had a chain hanging on the front pocket on his chest, and he liked the jingle jingle when he walked. It was a little short for him, but paired with the right combat boots, this outfit fucked hard.
Quickly pulling on a black long-sleeved shirt and the tightest briefs he had, Wade slipped into the jumpsuit, making sure it fell in the right places and that it pulled tight on his most flattering bits. The mercenary squatted quickly, looking down at his ass over his shoulder and nodding before closing the belt, making sure it cinched tight enough to give him an hourglass figure.
“If I'm going on a doomed date, I'm going to at least look great when it explodes.” Running around the room, Wade pulled his goose socks out of his drawer and snagged his black combat boots, trying to pull on a sock as he jumped to the bed. Goose socks, done. Obligatory wiggling of his toes so it looked like the beak was moving, done. Wade hummed as he tied the laces on his boots, ignoring the growing pit in his stomach. This date was a circus and he looked like a clown already.
“Final touches! Clown noses!” He grabbed a black beanie from his closet, making sure he had already removed the internal tags before nodding and stuffing it into the romper's pocket. Swiping his phone and wallet, Wade looked down at himself again. The downside of not having a mirror was that he couldn't tell how his outfit looked from different angles, but at least he could avoid the jumpscare of his own face.
While trying to look down at his own ass to check the tightness of the pants, there was a knock on his front door, polite but strong. Peter.
“Coming!” Running through his apartment, the merc skidded to a full stop in front of the door. Wade took one last deep breath, patting himself in the chest to see if he could scare his heart back into a normal rhythm, but it was useless. Knowing who was on the other side of the door was sending him down a frankly ridiculous spiral.
It's just Peter! My boy! My baby boy! We've eaten together a trillion times and good God, Peter is going to finally see me, in contrast to other people, normal, functional, pretty people, this for sure going to be a bust, we can just treat this just like any other time. Hell yeah.
"Maximum effort.”
Wade pulled his door open like he was trying to rip it off its hinges, wishing that it would come off and hit him in the head hard enough to unalive him. Just enough so that he wouldn't have to face the mess this "date" would be. Because there was no other way, right? Wade Winston Wilson was a fucking disaster and might as welll have acid hands the he destroyed everything he touched. The moment he started getting close with Peter, he should have known it would end in fire.
"Hey, Wade.”
And there he was, the poor thing in question, dressed in a plum shirt with the top 2 buttons undone and black jeans that highlighted the dimensions of his truly perfect bouncy bubble booty. God. Did he have to look so perfect with his perfectly mussed hair and bambi eyes, and oh, of course he had to have a perfectly romantic bouquet in his hands, not to mention-
Bouquet. Of flowers. Held tightly in Peter's hands. Coincidentally at the start of the date they were about to go on.
Huh.
“For me?” Wade pointed at himself, looking down at the bouquet and back up at Peter quickly, the hero was all rosy cheeks and bitten lips.
“Yeah!” God, that smile. That perfect, crooked smile always managed to stir up butterflies in Wade's stomach. Or was that just his body rioting at the thought of being seen around someone so beautiful?
The bouquet was a lovely thing wrapped in a lovely pink bow. Its perfectly round flowers had tiny little petals in perfectly even levels, most of them pink with some red and some white. It looked like something Wade shouldn't be allowed to touch.
Clearly not on the same self-deprecating page, Peter extended the bouquet towards Wade, a smile on his face as he drummed his fingers on the stems.
“For…me? Like, me me?” Wade took the offered flowers, looking down at the beautiful arrangement, squeezing the bouquet just a little tighter when a treacherous voice in his head suggested Not for you. It's a joke. He'll take them away and have a good laugh about it.
“Of course! Beautiful flowers for a beautiful man.” Wade nearly blacked out. Peter couldn't be for real. He couldn't actually be laying on the charm like this for someone as gross as Wade. The notion was ridiculous and unthinkable and- “They're camellias.”
“Huh.” Wade turned around without taking his eyes off the bouquet, not wanting to lose sight of it lest it disappear, and he walked to his kitchen. Peter poked his head in to follow the merc with his eyes.
He blindly opened his kitchen cabinet, feeling around for the biggest glass he owned, a chipped beer mug he had stolen from Weasel once upon a time. The Corona logo was now almost-invisible. It was definitely not something that deserved to have the beautiful flowers placed in it, but it would have to do.
Wade filled the mug with water before placing it on the counter. Slowly, gently as he could, he placed the flowers in, making sure the stems didn't bend on the way in and the bow was safely above the water.
“Looks great, big guy.” Peter had walked over the threshold, still standing by the door but now having a much better look at what Wade was doing.
God. Wade knew he was whipped for Peter. He had been for a long time. but it was something else to watch the man stand there, leaning against the door frame with his tousled hair and those stupidly strong, thin hands that always made Wade cream himself a little bit. Did he have a hand kink? Or was it just that he had been deprived of Pete's hands for so long that now the mere sight of them felt erotic? Was this how old timey dudes felt in old timey times when seeing an ankle made them nut in their pants? Or was that just an urban legend, like corsets being super duper tight? Cause they weren't, Wade had more than a couple corsets and when they were laced properly they were very-
“Where's your mind, Wade?” The merc jumped out of his train of thought, shaking his head and giving Peter a wide smile, giving one last look at the flowers.
“On corset thoughts,” he replied, feeling a strange mix of excitement and dread. Fuck. He was now on an actual date with Peter Parker.
~~~♡~~~
The restaurant was a little Italian place, squeezed so tight between office buildings Wade was sure it would pop out any second. It had a charming door painted a dark green, with a stained glass inlay depicting a plate of spaghetti bolognese. Wade loved it.
Walking in they were greeted with a smell of garlic so potent it would’ve singed Wade’s eyelashes off if he still had any. That was probably due to the giant garlic braids hanging around the entrance. God. Wade's fingers were itching with the need to yoink one and put it in his pocket. He could give it to Peter later! As a “Sorry our date was shit” gift.
“Reservation under Parker?” Thoughts of stealing garlic cloves distracted Wade, but he snapped back when the hostess pulled two long menus from under her podium and asked them to follow her.
“Ohhh, fancy man in fancy pants making fancy reservations.” Wade wiggled his nonexistent eyebrows, pulling a chuckle from Peter as they walked to their table.
“About to eat fancy pasta, too.” He replied when they got to their table, smiling as the host stepped away. He pulled out Wade's chair for him and signaled him to sit.
Jesus Christ?????
It had to be pure rainbows and unicorn magic that allowed Wade to move his ass onto the chair, not taking his eyes off Peter for even a second when he was gently pushed a comfortable distance from the table. Nobody had done something like that for him. Not even his most romantic partners had pulled his chair out of him.
Is it stupid if I cry because of a chair?
Peter sat down in front of him, the round table small enough that Wade definitely could reach over and stick his finger in Peter's mouth if he were to commit the error of yawning.
“Here are your menus, gentlemen, your waiter will be with you shortly.” With a smile the hostess walked away from their table.
Now that they were alone Wade took a moment to scan their surroundings.
The walls were a soft beige color, but you could barely see them behind all the black and white pictures of people eating pasta and smiling wide as fuck. Luckily, none of them were looking straight at the camera or Wade would feel like they were recording in front of a live studio audience. That thought led Wade straight to another realization, that their table was against the wall, and thanks to some overgrown house plants, they were mostly hidden from the view of other patrons. Oh, Pete.
His attention was pulled back to their table when Peter gently pushed one of the menus towards him, the light from the little faux candle on the table making his brown eyes shine like melted chocolate.
"What?” Wade gave Peter a tight lipped smile, a little fidgety under the direct attention from the super hero.
“Just… you look very handsome, Wade.” And good God, said so earnestly, Wade kind of wanted to believe it.
"Who? Me? Psh, I'm barely presentable, baby boy.” The merc rolled his eyes, swatting his hands in the other man's direction and trying to look anywhere but at Peter, who was only smirking at his little display. "Now, you? You look like the last coke in the desert.”
Peter threw his head back, laughing and shaking his head at Wade's nonsense. "What does that even mean?”
"That everyone wants your cute, bottled self.” The hero only nodded in response, still giggling a bit.
"Well, I only really want one person.”
And just like that Wade felt his walls shake, because wasn't that a ridiculous notion? Peter Benjamin Parker, scientist, verified genius, saint of a man, the one and only friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, wanted him. Him and only him. Unbelievable, truly.
Almost.
Because despite Wade's best attempts there was still a voice in his head that sounded so much like hope and kept pointing out that Peter had no real reason to do this for Wade other than wanting to. Maybe he just wanted to take Wade out, hold his hand, and make goo goo eyes at him from across the table. Insane to think, yet here they were.
“Umm… have you been here before, baby boy?” Wade pulled the napkin from his side of the table, placing it on his lap and drumming his fingers on the side of his thighs. “Or did you bring me as a guinea pig to see if this place is up to code? Because I am game for it.”
Peter laughed before shaking his head. “I came here for lunch with the lab and it is great,” the hero leaned his head on his hand, giving Wade a coy smile. “Their pasta bowls are huge and you know how I am.”
“Oh baby bug, I could watch you eat for hours.” Wade gave him a ridiculous wink, making Peter scrunch his nose with a laugh.
"Laying on the charm, I see.” Wade shrugged, quickly reading over the menu, deciding on a dish before laying it down and propping his head on his palms.
"Alright, Peter Parker, what kind of freak are you? Going out with basket cases like me.” Peter smirked, leaning over the table far enough that the fake candle illuminated most of his face.
"The kind of freak that wants to hold your hand and kiss your cheek and also get to know you biblically.” The hero reached over, taking Wade's hand in his own before pulling on it, bringing it up to his lips and laying a kiss on his knuckles, that felt a lot filthier than it had any right to.
Holy fuck.
"Excuse you!” Wade pulled back, his skin burning where Peter's lips had touched him. "I expected a date with an awkward little nerd who couldn't even look me in the eye!” The other man snorted. “Not some Casanova.”
"Well…” The waitress came by, taking their drink orders and promising to come back with a basket of bread. "We've known each other for like three years, Wade, the awkward nerd drowned the first time you dared me to a slurpee drinking contest and it came out your nose.” Wade nodded, that had felt like a turning point for their friendship. “Plus, you're way too hot for awkward dates. I gotta impress you, babe.”
Wade snorted, rolling his eyes. "Fuck off.” But he could still feel the tip of his ears growing hot.
~♡~
“Petey?” Wade stopped right outside his building, looking down at their joined hands. After leaving the restaurant, Peter had intertwined their fingers and hadn't let go for a second, all the way to Wade's apartment, swinging their arms sometimes. Even now, he didn’t let go of what had to be Wade’s disgustingly sweaty hand.
"Did you have fun, Wade?” Peter asked, a shy smile on his face, lifting their palms to his chest and rubbing at Wade's skin with his thumb softly, gently.
"Lots. You really know how to treat a gal.” Wade batted his non-existent eyelashes, if only to hear Peter snort. "Didn't even let me pay or nothing.”
"To be fair, I always try to pay when we eat out.” The hero shrugged, still brushing the other man's knuckles, trying to memorize the pattern of his scars.
“Well then, why don't you? Huh?” He raised his other hand, pointing it at Peter, who only raised his eyebrow, unimpressed. "Ohhh, I see, you enjoy being my sugar baby.” Wade teased.
“Wade, the last time I paid for Thai food you bit me hard enough to bruise.” At that the merc burst out laughing. He had, yeah. Peter had pushed him to the side so he could hand over a bunch of bills to the cashier before Wade had even taken his wallet out, once the girl went back to the kitchen to prepare their order, Wade had jumped Peter, biting at him for daring to buy.
"Fun times!” Wade exclaimed, before dropping their hands and swinging their joint arms a little. “But all times are fun times with you, to be fair.”
“Yeah?” Peter blushed so pretty, it started on the apple of his cheeks, going down to his neck and high up to his ears. Pretty little cherry boy. “You have fun with me?”
“Always, Pete,” the mercenary gave a tug, pulling the hero slightly closer, letting them stand chest to chest, forcing Peter to crane his neck up lightly to look Wade in the eye. “The question here is...did you have fun?”
"This was the best date I've ever been on.” Peter raised his free hand to gently place it on Wade's waist, thumbing at his belt. "Thank you for letting me take you out, Wade.”
"The pleasure's all mine, baby boy.” When had their faces gotten so close? Peter had to lift his heels just a tad, and Wade noticed that his gaze dropped from his eyes down to his lips.
So close, he could count the freckles on Peter's face, he could tell that he tweezed his brows at least a bit (nobody could have eyebrows that perfect), and he could also tell they were about to kiss, so close, right outside Wade's apartment, illuminated by the streetlights and the 24-hour bodega across the street -
Beep Beep. Beep. Beep Beep.
Peter dropped his head, resting his forehead against Wade's collarbone and sighing. Wade allowed himself a sniff of Peter's hair before taking a step back.
"Night job calling?” Peter nodded in response, taking out his cellphone from his back pocket to quickly type something before putting it away.
"Always, and I don't think it can wait this time.” The merc nodded, mentally preparing himself to suit up and jump in alongside Peter. “Good night, Wade” Peter leaned close again, laying a gentle kiss on Wade's cheek, staying there for a couple of seconds before parting with a gentle squeeze at his waist.
Wade's skin didn't really allow normal blushing. The scars were always a bit red and the unevenness of his skin made it impossible to see any change in color. But goddamn, he felt red hot, like the tip of his ears might start smoking.
“Night, Pete… don't let the bed bugs bite…” Peter snorted, nodding against Wade's shoulder. “Unless they're me, in which case-” leaning down Wade pretended to bite at Peter’s head, who giggled before pulling away.
“See you later?”
“Yeah, sure, bug boy.”
~♡~
"Hey, Deadpool.” The spider landed in a crouch, quickly straightening up before approaching the other man, feet silent.
"Hi, Spidey-kins!” Deadpool pulled back from the edge of the roof, rushing to meet the other man in the middle. "How was your day? Was everything okay earlier?”
"Yeah, Daredevil needed some help with a laser gun on the loose, but it was quick work between the two of us.” Deadpool awwed, bummed at missing a laser gun. Those were always fun. "But my day was pretty good, actually. Went on a date and everything.” Spider-Man shrugged, hands on his hips, looking slightly over his shoulder to try to determine if any of the noises he was picking up required intervention.
"Ohhh, did you put out?” Wade wiggled his eyebrows, knowing it showed perfectly through the leather of his mask.
"Deadpool, I am a lady!” The hero placed his hand on his chest in mock offense. “I only give handies on the first date.” They were only able to maintain the charade for another second before they both broke into giggles, laughing at what they both knew was a terrible joke but was one of Wade's favorite bits with the hero. "Actually, Wade, can you take the mask off for a second?” Peter pulled his own mask off, gripping it in his fist and looking down at the floor.
Wade nodded, quickly ripping his mask and staring at Peter. "What's up, cupcake?”
Had the date been too terrible? Maybe Peter had been waiting to let Wade down. Maybe he had finally come to his senses and realized a relationship with Wade would be comparable to a house fire in the middle of a knife rain. Fuck. This was it. He never should have let himself hope.
"Uhh... you know how I told you I wasn't awkward around you anymore?” The merc nodded in response, barely paying attention to the question with all the noise in his head. “Well… I lied, because I wanted to do this all night but I was worried it would make things awkward.”
Before Wade could say anything, Peter grabbed him by the waist, pulling him close, close enough that they were connected from knees to chest. The warmth of the hero's body was palpable even through their suits. Peter looked him in the eye, almost like he was looking for something before placing his hand softly on the merc's jaw and pulling their faces closer still, close enough to gently press their lips together.
Woah. It took Wade's mind a second to catch up with what was happening, but it was enough for Peter to hesitate, starting to pull back with an apology ready on the tip of his tongue.
"Oh no, you don't!” Wade wrapped his arms around Peter's neck, dragging him back into the kiss with only a hum of joy from the spider. Goddamn. Kissing Peter was incredible, the softness of his lips in perfect contrast against the steel-tight hold of his arms around the merc's waist. Peter titled his head just enough to perfectly slot their mouths together, giving a little moan when Wade ran the tip of his tongue against the seam of his lips. And, oh God, the whimper when Wade fisted the curls at the back of Pete's head and pulled.
Yeah, kissing Peter was something Wade could see himself doing for a long long time.
~~~♡~~~
When he and Peter finally became official, the merc thought he was prepared. Wade had been pining over the spider-themed hero for so long, occupying his thoughts for 99% of the day, that he had been sure he could handle being the sole focus of Peter's romantic attentions.
Wade had been wrong.
Wade never, ever, would have predicted what being with Peter would be like.
Wade thought himself quite the boy scout, always ready for anything. It seemed pretty obvious how a relationship with Peter Parker would go. After all, they had only been on two dates before Peter had asked to be boyfriends.
"Aren't we a little old for boyfriends?”
"Well, you're already my partner in not-crime, but we can just be a situationship if you want.”
"Fuck off, you're my boyfriend.”
He had not, in fact, been ready. Wade was not prepared for how physical Peter was, for starters. He had expected some hand holding, maybe an arm around his waist, but no. Turns out Peter was the kind of man who liked to put his hand in Wade's back pocket and squeeze when they were in public, just to watch Wade jump. If they were out of sight, Peter wouldn't hesitate to kiss a trail up Wade's neck, always ending at his ear with a little bite.
Listen. Deadpool was no nun. He knew that necking and an ass-squeeze were some of the tamest things they could be doing in public, and he had always been a bit of an exhibitionist, but… Wade was not used to this. Peter seeing him bare and exposed in his civvies with his trainwreck of a face, hearing him talk to himself, and still being so... enamored? So willing to be seen with him in public? It always made Wade feel like he had missed the last step going down. While it was mostly confusing, the part of him that was thrilled with the adoring gestures would grow bigger and bigger with each display of affection.
"What're you cooking, Wade?” Peter obediently received any vegetable Wade placed in his hands, watching the man hmm and ahh about the textures on the spinach leaves and make small talk with the vendor.
“Well you know how I've been on a cooking channel kick lately?” Wade lifted a ginger root up to his nose, sniffing it as Peter nodded "Well, now that I'm not mercenarying as much, I gotta find an outlet for my creative needs, baby boy.” Peter hummed in response. “So! I've taken to the kitchen! Got me doing roasts and pies and all kinds of tasty shit.” He handed him a root and the hero dutifully took it. “I'll be quite the housewife, soon enough.” Wade lowered his sunglasses, giving Peter a wink over the rim.
“Well, you already look the part, gorgeous.” Wade giggled, pushing his glasses up his nose and continuing to browse the vegetables in the stall, lightly swaying in place.
“And tonight, for you my little cutie patootie, I will be making meatloaf.” Wade handed some celery to Peter before turning around and handing the vendor a bunch of bills.
Once he was done, he looked over his shoulder, watching Peter arrange the vegetables in the bags with a smile on his face and humming under his breath as he fixed the bags on his shoulders.
"You're cooking for me, babe?” They kept walking along the street, weaving between buyers and sellers. The market was busy, busy enough that Wade felt comfortable in his short-sleeved maxi dress. It fluttered around him as he walked and the fabric was soft enough that it didn't irritate his scars. He also wore a big ol’ sun hat to protect his extra-raw skin from the sun (he may heal from the sunburns, but they still hurt like hell). With all the people around, nobody really paid attention to him.
Well, not nobody.
"If you have the time for it, of course. If you're not too busy squatting all mysterious and shit.“ Wade shrugged, looking at the honey in one of the stalls and only raising his shoulders higher when Peter laughed.
"A man who cooks for me,“ Peter took a step towards Wade, placing a hand on his hip and standing on the tips of his Converse before kissing Wade's nose. " I don't know how I could ever show my appreciation.”
"You fogged my glasses, you sap!” Wade took a step back, a smile carved in his face even as he cleaned his glasses with the skirt of his dress.
~♡~
Wade had asked Peter over with only the best intentions, cross his heart and hope to die.
Peter was a menace, though.
Wade had tried a new casserole dish, and after deeming it a success, he decided to feed it to the hungriest spider he knew, who also declared it a hit, and with Wade's encouragement ate seconds and thirds.
After compliments to the chef in the form of kisses and dishwashing, they had set up on the couch. The move was allegedly to watch something on Wade's ridiculously big screen, but it quickly dissolved into a makeout session when they couldn't decide what to watch.
"Shit, Wade.” Peter pulled the other man to his lap, squeezing his thighs and laying wet kisses on his neck, gentle love bites that might as well have been brandings with how hot they felt to Wade. "You're so fucking hot.”
"Uh-huh, look who's talking,” Wade could barely focus on what he was saying with the feel of Peter's hands on his body, squeezing, greedily trying to get at Wade's flushed skin, and the steady rhythm of their hips as they ground against each other.
“I mean,” Peter pulled him down, biting at Wade's bottom lip until he whimpered, and then moving down to bite at his jaw. “You always talk about my ass-”
“Hngh. Gift from Odin, pookie.”
“Maybe, but Wade, your ass.” Peter squeezed, pulling at Wade's hips to rub their crotches against each other more deliberately, able to feel the heat of Wade's hard cock through his sweats. “It's perfect, the way it looks in your suit, in your jeans,” Wade squeezed his eyes shut, resting his forehead against Peter's and moaning at a particularly strong thrust. “In your slutty little leather skirt.”
“Pete!” Wade felt like a fucking virgin everytime Peter said anythinh vaguely dirty to him. He had always loved Madonna but had he ever actually comprehended her until now?
“Remember that time we fought the robot ninjas downtown?” Wade nodded, momentarily frowning at the topic change. “Remember that one of them got you in the ass?” Wade giggled. One of the ninjas had managed to slice his ass, slashing his suit and giving him a pretty deep wound that went across both his asscheeks. He had healed in a couple of minutes but he had spent the rest of the fight with a light breeze on his butt. Wade always went commando in his suit, so he had given quite the show there.
“Yeah, fun times, really aired my hole out and everything.”
“I wanted you to sit on my face like that,” Peter bit Wade's neck. “I wanted to tear your suit and have you ride my face right there on the street.” He sucked at the scarred skin, watching as the hickey disappeared in seconds. “I’m lucky I was wearing a cup, because you had me hard enough to pound nails, you and your fat ass.” He finished with a slap at said ass, squeezing after and thrusting his cock against the other man's.
Wade was cross-eyed with pleasure at the idea that Peter wanted him, had wanted him for that long. The thought of Peter fully, secretly erect in the Spidey-suit almost had Wade cumming on its own.
“And these legs,” Suddenly, faster Wade was sitting on the couch with a spider themed hero kneeling between his legs, again kneading his thighs and looking up at the mercenary with a look far too adoring. “Wade, I want you to suffocate me between your thighs.” the merc smiled, playfully closing his thighs on Peter’s face and squishing his cheeks. Peter melted at that, eyes fluttering shut. “Yeah, like that”
“Seems like you've given this a lot of thought.” Wade ran his fingers through the hero's hair, teasing the shell of his ears as he let go, opening his legs as far as they could go.
“You have no idea.” Peter continued to run his hands over Wade's thighs, kneading at the muscle, staring sweetly at the other man, letting his hands wander up a little high, toying with the hem of Wade's pants, pushing up his t-shirt and softly caressing the exposed skin. "Wade… can I?” Peter looked up at the merc, cheeks flushed and lips red from their shared, sloppy kisses.
“Yeah, baby boy you can do whatever the fuck you want to me.” Wade nodded, blush high on his cheeks.
Without breaking eye contact, Peter pulled, prompting Wade to raise his hips so he could pull down his pants and underwear at the same time, leaving him naked from the waist down.
Peter smiled, biting his lip like he was in deep thought, watching a drop of precum go down the shaft.
“What are the judges thinking?” Wade almost wanted to cross his legs, hide his body from Peter's gaze, but said man stopped him, taking his cock in hand and stroking from the base to the head, using the precum to ease the way. “Shit- I take you like it?”
“Tens across the board, Wade.” Continuing to stroke Wade's dick, getting a feel for the texture of the scars there. Softer, the skin a little thinner, warm and if he focused, Peter probably could feel Wade's heartbeat through his cock. The hero leaned down, laying wet kisses on Wade's inner thighs. He sucked lightly just to feel Wade push against his hands, reflexively trying to close his legs. "Let me suck your cock, please baby?”
"Pete…" Wade could only nod, afraid if he tried talking the words would get caught in his throat. “Fuck!”
Peter's mouth was heaven, pulling whimpers out of Wade as he kissed up and down the shaft, taking the head in his mouth, teasing the slit with his tongue before quickly pushing down, taking more of Wade into his mouth.
“Hnngh!” Wade's skin was sensitive, raw as a peeled peach and tender to any rough treatment. That also meant that the feeling of Peter running his tongue over the vein on the underside of his cock made electricity shoot up and down Wade’s spine.
The constant whimpers pulled Peter's gaze, but not his attention, so as he slowly took more and more of Wade's cock down his throat, the hero made eye contact with Wade, shooting his a flirty wink accompanied by a light scrape of teeth.
“Fuck, baby boy, your mouth.” Wade threw his head back, incapable of holding eye contact in that moment, with Peter looking at him with such adoration, with lust, with lo-Fuck!
The hero pulled back, taking a deep breath and smiling up at Wade, his eyes slightly teary.
“Wade, my dear, my baby, my pretty-”
“Pete, you don't have to sweeten me up, after that you could ask me to become a Mormon after that and I'd pull up Utah on Zillow.” Wade was still looking up at his ceiling, he hadn't even cum and his brain was already leaking out his ears.
“I was actually going to ask if you'd fuck my throat but whatever floats your boat, babe.” Peter took Wade's cock in his hand, lightly playing with the sensitive underside of the head.
“Oh God, I'm gonna die.” Wade looked back at Peter, who only smiled like he hadn't just made 46 of Wade's wettest dreams come true.
“I'm pretty sure you won't,” Having Wade's eyes back on him, Peter continued with his task. “But I'll try my best.” Taking Wade’s dick in his mouth and letting him push further back.
“Ah!” Wade placed a hand on top of Peter's head, slowly thrusting his hips, feeling the muscles in Peter's throat gently contract around the intrusion. “Fuck, Pete, you're too good at this.”
Slowly but surely, Peter took more and more of Wade's cock, his hands kneading at Wade's thighs, playing with the thick muscle and feeling the way it trembled every few seconds.
Wade could have sworn he was dreaming. These kind of things didn't happen to him outside of his own imagination, but the sweat on his forehead, the gentle scratches that Peter's nails made on his thighs, the slight cramps on his calves from the clenching of his legs every time Peter swallowed. It was all too real and all too incredible.
After a couple minutes of Wade's gentle thrusts, Peter's nose pressed against the base of his cock, where he hummed lightly, causing Wade's rhythm to stutter and then pick up the pace.
“Pete…baby boy, you're too good, it's too much. Fuck, your mouth, you're perfect” Wade couldn't focus on what was coming out of his mouth, not when it felt like he had been touched by an angel and then got his cock down said angel's throat.
Peter just doubled his efforts, using his tongue to play with the pronounced vein on Wade's cock and letting every moan reverberate as much as he could.
“Shit. Fuck, goddamn I’m gonna cum Pete, I'm gonna cum.” The hero grabbed at Wade’s hips, holding them tight to make sure the mercenary wouldn't pull out. “Pete!” Thrusting a couple more times, all it took for Wade to finally fall of the edge, was Peter, looking up at him with those perfect doe eyes, rolling his eyes back and moaning around Wade's cock.
“Fuck!” Wade was sure this time his brain did in fact leak out of his ears. That was the only possible explanation for the ringing in his ears, and the stars he could still see dancing around the room.
“Come on, big guy,” Peter had pulled off, wiping the corner of his lips with his thumb before sucking on it for a second. Presumably to give Wade a heart attack. “Let's go to the bedroom.”
~♡~
Wade laid his head down on Peter’s chest. The steady beat of his heart was like a lullaby to Wade's ears, a constant rhythm that assured Wade this was real because no hallucinated beat could be this perfect.
Before sleep claimed his body, there was something Wade needed to say.
"You know…if we were rubber duckies in the bathtub of life, or something, and I fell from the edge of the tub, I would flood the entire fucking bathroom to get back up to you.“ Wade looked up, his chin digging into Peter's pectoral muscle.
The hero had his eyes scrunched closed, a smile so wide it made Peter's lips disappear. With a flush over his cheeks, he took a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking down at Wade. "If we were rubber duckies, and you fell into the tub, I would jump down after you.” He placed his palm on Wade's cheek, leaning down and giving him a feather-soft kiss, whispering against his lips. "I love you too, sweetheart.”
Wade smiled, breaking the kiss but not pulling away. Good to know his message was understood.
~~~♡~~~
Aliens. In New York. Again. Did the city have some kind of extraterrestrial magnet? Were the aliens attracted to tall buildings and people who didn't apologize when they bumped into you? Deadpool didn't know, but what he did know was that Spidey and himself had jumped directly into a fight with some lovely orange visitors who looked a lot like blobfishes.
“Nooooo, that blobfish makes me sad, Petey, he's ugly and people make fun of him, it's not his fault he's ugly!”
“Well, I like it, it's funny and cute.”
“Yeah… well, you like ugly things.”
It was a quick fight. While there were many aliens, they were fragile and died with pretty pathetic explosions. Before long, Wade was sitting on the street, legs splayed out as he dried out in the sun, blue goo dripping from him in waves.
“If I had a nickel for every time I've seen you covered in alien guts.” Spider-man landed on a wrecked car next to Deadpool, barely making a noise as he jumped down, so light on his feet the dust didn't even rise.
“You'd have two nickels?” Deadpool raised two fingers, shaking out the goo in his hand.
"I'd have like… a whole seven dollars, Pool.” Coming closer, Spider-Man offered a hand, pulling the other man up. He started wiping some of the goo from Deadpool, swinging him back and forth, turning him one way then the other as he pulled on the leather of his suit. The mercenary giggled, content to be pushed around by his boo.
"You're being very thorough, mister Spider-Man.” The hero nodded, crouching down to wipe at Wade's legs, shaking the excess goo from his hands.
“Gotta be, or you'll be stinking up the couch later. I won't cuddle you smelling like this.” The merc giggled, nodding and shaking off the remaining guts as best as he could. He stuck out his ass and shook it.
“Ohhh, love that.” Spider-Man slapped his ass. He was clearly joking, but it still lit a fire in the pit of Deadpool’s stomach.
“What are you doing?” With a loud CLANK, Iron Man landed on the street. The pavement underneath his feet cracked on impact.
“Deadpool's all slimy. Gotta un-slime him.” Spider-Man didn't even look away from Deadpool, who was pulling out of one of his Desert Eagles to flick the slime off of it.
“And why do you care to do that?”
Deadpool didn't really care for Iron Man, and in turn, Iron Man didn't really care for him, hated him actually. The hero always called him a nut job but never hesitated to use the mercenary for dirty jobs, all the while looking down at him for doing what they refused to do. Fucker.
“Cause I wanna.”
Deadpool snorted, jutting his hip out so Spidey could put the gun back. “He liiiiikes me.” The mercenary threw his arms up, doing a little jump when Spider-Man nodded.
“Like him lots,” The hero agreed, turning around and crossing his arms. Peter also didn't care for Iron Man. It was mostly the billionaire and war-mongering bits, but if given the chance, Peter could go on about Tony Stark and his borderline stalking of the hero, his insistence on knowing his identity, and the pedantic lectures on his “small time heroing” any time Spider-Man was unfortunate enough to share space with the other man.
“Seriously, Spider-Man? This wacko?” Ironman gestured at Deadpool, orange goo dripping from his suit and flying to the ground with his movements.
"I'm not a wacko, I'm a lunatic. Learn the difference, Iron Dick.” Deadpool replied, sticking his tongue out inside his mask but quickly regretting it when he got a taste of the nasty alien goo.
"Not talking to you, Deadpool.” The billionaire pointed one of his mini shoulder rockets at him, which Wade felt was unnecessary. He also felt like ripping it off and taking it for himself just to piss him off.
“Put that thing away.” Thwip. Spider-man hit Iron Man with a web, sticking the weapon to his shoulder and getting part of his mask stuck as well. “And don't call him a wacko.”
“I mean, he is a bit wacky.” Hawkeye joined the conversation, walking up behind the couple and shaking the slime off his bow. “Hey, DP.”
“Hey, pretty bird,” Deadpool clicked his tongue and pointed finger guns at the archer.
“He's a nut job with the arsenal of a small army. I'm right to call him a wacko.” Deadpool rolled his eyes, it was at least two armies, come on! “And don't pretend like you haven't been around him more often!” Iron Man pointed at Spider-Man, who only raised his eyebrow. Nobody could really tell, but Wade totally could.
“And what if I am?” Spider-Man shrugged. “Not like it's cutting into our time together, right?” More members of the Avengers joined their little meeting, Captain America in all his red, white and blue glory, and Black Widow, who always looked ready for action, either on the battlefield or on the runway. Damn. Wade was hella jealous.
“No, but when Deadpool stabs you in the back and throws a grenade as he runs away, you'll see why we're worried.” Black Widow declared, giving the mercenary a once over before crossing her arms, subtly placing her fingers on the triggers for her widow bites.
“He doesn't have the best track record, son.” Captain interrupted whatever Spider-Man was going to answer to Widow.
“Oh, I see,” Deadpool noticed, in the subtle way that Spider-Man's back went tense. The hero was pissed. “Some mercenary redemptions are good and dandy, but not all?” The Captain looked shocked, his step faltered for a second at what Spider-Man had just said.
“We're just trying to take care of you, kid.” Iron Man raised his hand again, like he was trying to reach peace between them.”
“Oh, please, you don't even know Deadpool, but apparently you know he's too dangerous to be around.” Spider-Man pointed at Deadpool over his shoulder. “I trust him, and I'm more worried about what you'd do to me if you had the chance.”
“Fine! Then we'll stay out of your business with the mercenary and watch it blow up from a safe distance!” Iron Man exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.
“Uh-huh,” Spider-Man flicked his wrist, webbing Deadpool to his side in a second and securing him with an arm around the mercenary's waist. “I'll see you on the next alien invasion, and if we run into each other before that, don't say hi, please, and bye.” With Deadpool held tightly to his side, Spider-Man shot a web, swiftly swinging away from the group of heroes.
“Byyyyyeeeeeeeeeee!” Deadpool waved to the group before they lost them around the corner of a skyscraper.
“Jerks. What do they know!” Between webs, Spider-Man raised his free hand in anger, always shooting the next web just in time to make sure they didn't end up like pancakes on the pavement.
“...you don't have to defend me, boo.” Deadpool wanted to scream every time they hit the peak of a swing, but he contained it by squeezing tight around Spider-Man’s shoulders. “And I mean, they're right that I don't have the bestest, shiniest track record.”
“You're right, but you try Wade, you try harder than anyone I know, and I'm not going to let them talk to you like that.” Spider-Man turned his head, quickly nuzzling Deadpool’s mask. “Let's go home.”
~♡~
What fucking time is it?
Way too early, Wade concluded. But something had woken him up. It wasn’t something dangerous, because he would have sprung out of the bed like his ass was on fire. But there was something.
He rolled over, trying to chase any warmth that Peter's body may have left in the bed.
Oh. That was it, Peter was no longer in bed.
But there was still noise in the apartment, so Wade wasn't really worried. it was coming from the other side of the bedroom door, and judging by the clinks and clanks, his little love bug was cooking breakfast for them.
Wade stretched what felt like every muscle on his body, kicking the sheets away as he dragged himself out of bed.
Opening the door, Wade realized his apartment had never really looked like that before, warm, inviting, with a precious man cooking something in the kitchen and the windows opened just enough to let in a cool breeze.
Wade walked into the kitchen, crossing his arms over his chest, hunched over trying to conserve a bit of the warmth he felt in the bed.
“Hey, handsome.” Peter looked at him through the corner of his eye, still whipping something in the bowl with a steady hand. His hair was tousled and he had a cowlick to end all cowlicks. Precious.
“Hi, boo,” Wade stretched his arms over his head, hearing his spine crack and pop with the motion. “Uppies?” The man raised his arms, making grabby hands at Peter. Huh. Was it actually downsies? Considering Peter was a bit shorter than Wade?
“Come here,” Peter grabbed at Wade’s hands, pulling him close, he laid a kiss on his cheek before guiding the merc to stand behind him. “Can't let the eggs burn but I can give you a piggyback ride if you want.”
“Yay.” Speechless for once, Wade climbed on, crossing his legs over Peter's hips and pressing his ear to his shoulder, content to feel him humming.
Peter had said Let's go home.
What a funny feeling, home.
~~~♡~~~
“I'm so sorry, babe.” Wade sucked his lips in, humming in response. “I'm on my way, but you know how it is.” He did know. He could hear the sound of several metal tentacles trying to grab at Spider-man.
"Want me to jump in, baby boy?” Wade leaned against the wall, looking at his sandals and wiggIing his toes as he held his phone up to his ear. "I'm sure the good old doc would be happy to see me.”
"Ha! Something tells me he wouldn't be too thrilled,” the arachnid replied "And you're already there. Don't want to make you rush back home.”
"Fine! But only because it would be a crime to take off my dress.” Wade swayed back and forth on his feet, watching the blue skirt swish around his knees. “You always have all the fun without me. That's so evil and fucked up, cookie.”
"You're so right, babe. I am evil and fucked up. But if you can still stand me, I'll be there in fifteen minutes.”
"I suppose you're cute enough to be evil. I mean look at me, I'm ugly as fuck, and I'm still pretty nasty.”
"You're super cute and also you're not nasty. Don't talk about my boyfriend like that.” Ah. Peter saying boyfriend meant he was away from the fight and from the nosy evil ears of Doc Ock. "And uh…what dress are you wearing?”
"The blue sundress with the white flowers.” And the matching nail polish in both hands and toes, but his baby boy could appreciate the details once he got there.
"I'll be there in five minutes.”
"See ya’ then, baby boy.” The switch in Peter's tone was enough to make Wade shiver, the clear desire in his voice always promised a very good time. But alas, that wouldn't do right now, as they had plans for brunch with one of Peter's oldest friends and Wade wasn't sure that would make his baby boy agreeable to a quickie in the bathroom.
"Alright. Maximum effort.” The merc brushed off imaginary dust from his dress before walking back to the entrance of the restaurant. "Hi.” He gave the hostess his standard five seconds so she could suppress her gag reflex. "Reservation under Watson?”
"Of course, she's already at the table.”
God shit fuck.
Meeting Peter's ex who is also one of his best friends (“The only one left, really” as Peter had said) who also happened to be a model and actress. Super cool, super easy, no stress at all, no sir.
And there she was. Wavy red hair, neatly arranged hair-do that framed a beautiful face, emerald green eyes that sparkled with the light and full, glossed lips. This woman was a vision, smiling at the passing waiters and making faces at a baby in a near by table.
Okay. Wade could do this. He totally could walk up to this ray of sunshine and introduce himself and act like a normal person, play along to the niceness game and pretend he didn't look like something a dog has chewed on and then spat out. He could refrain himself from imagining what her relationship with Peter was like, how perfect they looked together and how their edges blended so well. He could play this game and win against himself. Wade was a pro at it by that point.
He walked up to the booth, head held high and back straight, taller than usual with his wedge sandals and pointedly ignoring the stares he dragged behind him. Let them stare. Fuckers. He was going to be pleasant and sweet and he looked great while doing so.
Wade dropped himself down on the seat, startling the woman and thrusting his hand out, perhaps a bit too aggressively.
“Hi! You're MJ! Of course you are! Peter told me!” This was bad already. Terrible. He knew he looked startling, his skin was a horror show and he knew the lack of eyebrows always threw people off for a second, but clearly he had decided to be startling as well. This was not good.
But maybe it wasn't that bad, because the woman on the other side of the table just nodded, giggling to herself as she shook his hand.
“You must be Wade,” he nodded, too quickly, and kept shaking her hand for what must have been an uncomfortably long time. “It's great to meet you Wade, Peter's told me all about you.”
“I sure hope he didn't!” Wade finally took back his hand, laying his palms flat on the table to avoid wringing his skirt.
“Oh, I can assure you, loverboy could not stop talking about you.” She giggled, giving a smile to a passing waiter to pull her to the table, quickly ordering two bottomless mimosas to get them started. “He's positively enamored.”
“Ha!” Time to wring his dress then. “Well, he's told me about you as well!”
“Ohhh, do tell.” MJ intertwined her fingers, her nails were manicured with French tips. Cute.
“He says you showed him how to make the bed sheets smell like lavender,” she nodded, scrunching her nose with a giggle. “And that his lasagna recipe is actually yours.”
“Damn. He's still using my recipe?”
“It's good lasagna, what can I say?” Wade shrugged, not taking his eyes off the supermodel sitting across from him.
Mary Jane was kind of ethereal, Wade supposed, just the right amount. She had the beautiful eyes, the winning smile, the charm that made heads turn, but she also had the perfect suburban beauty, the girl next door who was approachable and always waved when she saw you, who defended the bullied kids from the jocks. Wade could see why Peter fell in love with her.
The waitress came back, placing two mimosas on the table and darting away with a tray full of glasses, off to the next brunch table.
“It is, but I already know that, now I want to know you.” She pointed at Wade, making circles with her finger and looking him up and down. “Because I won't lie, just based on what Pete told me, I'm quite charmed.”
“Hm. Well,” Wade raised his finger, took the mimosa and swallowed it down in one go. “I'm a Sagittarius, my favorite color is red and I don't know what Petey has told you about me, but I bet it's wrong.”
“Oh yeah? You don't sleep talk?”
“He told you about that?!” Wade did in fact sleep talk, and according to Peter, he could hold some conversation, but Wade mostly saw it as another annoyance, not something to gush about.
“He thinks it's cute!” MJ sipped her mimosa, looking around like they were conspiring. “He thinks you're very cute in general.”
“I'm too old to be cute.”
“Alright, not cute, handsome.” Wade snorted nasally at that. Peter was kind of blind and apparently so was MJ.
“Trying to steal my man, MJ?” Peter was so quiet on his feet, Wade didn't notice his arrival until there was a hand on his shoulder, and a pair of lips on his cheek. “Hi, baby.”
“Hi, cookie cake.” Peter snorted, sliding into the booth, following after Wade until their thighs were pressed against one another.
“Hi, Pete.” MJ crossed her arms over the table. “I might just steal him Pete, you've sold him too well I'm afraid.”
Peter rolled his eyes, grasping at Wade's hand under the table, raising it to lay a quick kiss on his knuckles.
“You look gorgeous,” Peter turned to look at Wade, while MJ had signaled over their waiter, and was now pointing at something on the menu, the waiter nodding along. “Good enough to eat.”
Wade took a deep breath, squeezing Peter's hand as he browsed the menu. “Down, boy.”
~♡~
Brunch was nice. MJ was sweet and wasn't shy with sharing stories about their high-school days, making Peter go red like a cherry and giving Wade a look into a Peter he would have just loved to meet.
After a couple hours, and when most of the brunch crew had stumbled out, shaky on their feet from the continued mimosas, they had parted ways, MJ promising to text Wade the number of her nail artist and with a tighter hug than he would have expected.
Back in their apartment, Wade had instantly shifted his focus on the chopped vegetables he had left on his kitchen counter. Cooking had become a meditation for him, a way of separating himself from his thoughts and processing what had happened.
Peter talked about him, fondly, sweetly and allegedly a lot, talked about details Wade almost didn't even notice about himself, unimportant things he would rather not think about, which turns out Peter found charming.
And speaking of Peter…
"Pete!" Wade squealed, back going ramrod straight as his boyfriend gave his ass a squeeze.
"Hey, hot stuff" Peter said with a grin as he kissed up and down Wade’s neck, nipping his ear softly, tonguing along the shell as he wrapped his arms around Wade's waist, swiftly lowering the fire on the stove before they forgot and abandoned the pot to boil in their absence.
Wade gripped the edge of the counter as Peter’s kisses got rougher, a little bit of teeth against the sensitive scars, a harder squeeze on Wade's ass, the feel of Peter's jeans against his ass, everything was an assault on Wade's senses, and he felt overwhelmed in the best sense of the word, being with Peter Was an experience like nothing wade had ever know.
“Babe!” Wade exclaimed, arching his back when Peter pulled at the skirt, sneaking his hand underneath and groping Wade's cock over his underwear. “What-hm!”
“Let me see you,” Peter let go, dropping a bucket of cold water on Wade's senses when he took a step back. “Here.” He turned Wade around, ass against the counter, and chest rising with each breath.
“I take it you liked my dress?” Wade asked, opening his legs a bit more to allow Peter to slot between them, hands on Wade's hips and eyes on the neckline.
“Shit, Wade, you look so fucking good in that dress.” The mercenary threw his head back, rolling his hips up as Peter pulled at the neckline of his dress, chasing any contact with Peter's body. “Couldn't stop staring at your tits.” Peter kissed his neck, going down to his chest, where he stopped his trail to leave a love bite there, sucking on the skin, nevermind that it would disappear in seconds.
“Perv.” Wade moaned, addicted to the feeling of Peter's lips on his body.
“Only for you, baby.”
“More like only for my tits.”
“Wade, all due respect-” Peter stopped his kisses to reply to Wade.
“Ohhh please, no due respect, disrespect me, baby boy.” Wade winked at the other man, raising his hands to his ribs and raising his chest slightly.
“Okay, no respect then.” Peter smiled, leaning down to press his face down in the cushion that Wade's plush pectorals had. “You have the fattest tits in the world Wade Wilson. Love ‘em”
“Oh Petey, you know just what to say to make a girl feel special!” Wade batted his non-existent eyelashes, raising his hands even higher in a ridiculous move to motorboat himself.
“And I know just what to do, too.” One hand going down to Wade's ass, giving him a teasing squeeze, before the other one lifted Wade’s leg, placing it over his hip, prompting the other man to jump, throwing both legs over Peter's hips and arms over his shoulder.
“Ohhh, make me feel real special, baby.”
~~~♡~~~
Wade
Sitting here
Unkissed
When will it end
Petey Peachy Pie
omw home to solve that
groceries first
do you want apple juice or grape juice
?
Wade
Lies
If u loved me
u would be here to kiss me
Bitch
Appl pls
Petey Peachy Pie
k pookie
mwah
~~~♡~~~
“He's funny,” Domino nudged Wade's side with her elbow, leaning back on the counter, side by side with the other mercenary, who only nodded, not taking his eyes off Peter as Yukio animatedly talked to him about something or other connected to biochemistry.
“He sure is.”
Taking Peter to meet his friend had been somewhat of an easy choice, their lives were growing more entangled by the day and when Domino texted him about a little get together for her birthday, he didn't think about it twice and brought Peter along.
“And hot. How come hot people always date you? You ground meat looking fuck.” Weasel popped up from the other side, handing Domino a shot and clinking his red cup against Wade's plastic pineapple.
“I have a 19 inch penis and can pick up pennies with my ass.”
Wade could barely pay attention to whatever Weasel responded, he only had eyes for Peter at that moment.
“Also, DP is funny,” Domino chimed in. “Funny wins over a lot of things.”
“Oh yeah, I bet his toilet humor really worked on Peter.” Weasel downed a shot, slamming the glass down on the counter. “Maybe there's something wrong with him.”
“Yeah, he thinks I'm cute and he laughs when I make yo mama jokes. There's definitely something wrong with him.” Wade agreed, but tuned out of the rest of the conversation.
Peter fit so well. He fit so well sitting there on the couch, his attention now on Dopinder and something he was showing him on his phone. He fit so well with his friends and in his life and Wade was so excited to bring along to the New Years celebration he had planned with Yukio and Ellie and- wow.
Wade took a deep breath, puckering his lip and looking down at his cup; making plans for the holidays? Picturing himself with Peter for a long time? In love and together?
Wade was fucked.
~♡~
"That was fun, right?” Peter took off his jacket, throwing it over the back of the couch. "But how can you even have luck with Uno?”
"That's Doms for you,” Wade couldn't take his eyes off Peter, following his every move as he walked to their Wade's bedroom. Shit. This man was a fucking dream.
Wade took a deep breath, rubbing his temples before exhaling and walking into the bedroom, where Peter was sitting on the edge of the bed, his shoes already off and now he was rolling off his Game Boy themed socks.
"But it was still lots of fun, and seeing you laugh like that is always nice- woah, hi“ suddenly Peter found himself with a lap full of Wade, who had caged Peter in between his thighs and then sat on him.
"Pete… " Wade took the other man's face in his hand, running his thumb over the slightly stubbled check. "You're so fucking hot.” The only response was a smile, and before Wade could find out Peter had any other opinions on that, he pulled him closer, close enough that Peter slipped his arms tight around the mercenary's waist and squeezed just a bit. Wade leaned down, getting close to Peter's face, close enough that he could feel the tempting warmth from Peter's mouth. " So hot.”
Wade finally closed the last bit of distance between their lips, instantly biting at Pete's lower lip, sucking it between his teeth just like he knew the hero loved, and he earned a whine and a thrust against his ass for his efforts.
"Wade,” Peter sighed into the kiss, but said man only slid his arms around his neck, grinding down against his bulge as he kept upping the intensity of the kiss. "Fuck, Wade l love your ass.”
Wade smiled into the kiss, licking into Peter’s mouth, chasing his tongue and coaxing it to invade the merc's mouth. But Peter was too busy sliding his hands down Wade’s hips, continuing until he settled on his ass, giving it a squeeze that made him jump, but the hero didn't give him the chance, he pulled him back down as he raised his own hips, rubbing the hard line of his cock against Wade's own.
"Let me take my pants off, big guy, or I'm gonna cum in my underwear.” Peter lightly slapped at Wade's ass before standing up, lifting the other man with him.
"Oh, baby boy, you know l get all tingly when you show off that spidey strength.” Wade ran his fingers over the short hairs at the back of Peter's head, tempting him close so he could kiss him some more.
"Hmm...babe…” Peter moaned into the kiss, squeezing at Wade's thighs. God. Those legs. Peter had told the mercenary he had found heaven on earth the first time Wade trapped his head between his thighs in a moment of unchecked pleasure, the first time he had been able to run his hand over Wade's skin, the first time he had seen him, felt him as he came, watched as he went a bit cross-eyed when he reached his peak, and now he took any chance to put his hands on Wade, to feel his skin bare against his own.
“Hm.” Wade pushed a little, lowering one of his legs and letting go of Peter's shoulders, who gently lowered his other leg. “Undress and sit on the bed.”
“Yes, sir.” Wade rolled his eyes, smacking Peter's ass when he turned around.
Wade turned around, knowing if he watched Peter get undressed, he would get distracted, and he wanted to do this for his baby boy. The mercenary stripped off his shirt, tossing it somewhat in the direction of the hamper and he unbuttoned his jeans, leaving them on his hips as he kicked off his shoes.
When he put on those panties in the morning, he hadn't really thought about doing this for Peter, sure, the man was like a dog with a bone whenever Wade wore panties, but Wade wanted this to be a little more special.
“Petey?” Wade looked over his shoulder, seeing his boyfriend sat on the bed, naked as the day he was born with his cock at half mast, the trail of dark curls going from his stomach down to the base of his cock called to Wade, gave him the impulse to run his tongue over it and make Peter whimper.
But that would have to wait, right now there were more important things, like showing Peter just how much he adored him. Through a striptease.
Wade can feel Peter's eyes on him, tracing the muscles on his back, stopping to stare at his ass, the way his jeans frame it, before continuing down his legs. Having Peter's eyes on him always makes the metaphorical hairs on the back of his neck stand. It feels like he's artwork, like he's a priceless jewel and Peter is waiting for a distraction to snatch him and run off into the night.
It feels like being wanted. It feels like being lusted after. It is.
With that thought in mind, Wade pushed down his jeans, slowly over the curve of his ass so Peter could truly appreciate the look of the black lace against his skin. The intricate patterns that cover absolutely nothing.
These panties are some of Wade's favorites. High-waisted, with enough solid fabric to support his cock, but the perfect amount of lace to make them slutty. Wade Wilson loved to feel slutty.
Specially for one man in particular, who was now sitting ramrod straight, eyes wide open and his hand stretched out, like he wanted to touch but had frozen halfway through.
"God, Wade.” Peter had never been more willing to drop down to his knees for his boyfriend, and it showed on his face, biting his lower lip when Wade stepped out if his jeans, kicking them away.
"You like it, baby cakes?” Wade looked over his shoulders, hands splayed on the small of his back, fingers playing with the edge of his underwear. "Wore them for you,” he finally turned around, making Peter groan when he displayed the line of his cock through the black lace. "Got them a little bit wet tho, oops.” Wade reached down, taking his dick in hand through the fabric, thumbing at the head and pulling Peter's eyes to the wet spot forming there.
"Love that. Love them on you baby, you look so good- Let me eat your ass while you're wearing them, please please, babe.” Peter scooted down the bed, ready to grab at his man and throw him on the bed.
“No, no, no, back up baby boy.” Wade raised his hand, freezing Peter in place and shaking his head. “You be a good little ooey gooey cookie and scooch that booty back up the bed.”
"I'll give you the seventeen dollars I have in my wallet if you never call me gooey again.” Despite the complaint, Peter obeyed, moving up the bed until he was reclined against Wade's pillows.
“Deal. I also take payment in the form of bouncing on your dick until I can't see straight.” Wade walked to the bed, swaying his hips to a rhythm in his head until he was at the edge of it.
“Let me do that for you Wade, please.” Peter wasn't one to usually beg, but when Wade finally placed himself on his lap, he could've cried tears of joy.
“Alright,” Wade grabbed Peter's jaw, tilting his head back and smirking down at him. “Rock my world, baby.”
~~~♡~~~
“I should have brought more flowers. Yep. Pete this is unacceptable, who shows up with one sad little bouquet?! She's going to think I'm the worst and not deserving of you and she's going to-!”
“Wade!” Peter reached over, grabbing the merc's face and squishing his cheeks, stopping his tirade dead in its tracks. “Baby.” A quick peck to Wade's pouting lips. “You brought her flowers, wine, a charcuterie board and a box of French cookies. She's going to love it, and she's going to love you.”
“Pete, no, baby boy wait-” Too late. The hero had already knocked on the apartment door.
“Come in!” A voice came fro inside the apartment, and Peter opened the door as he squeezed Wade's hand, trying to reassure him it would be fine.
“Hi May! We're here!” Peter called out, stopping at the door to toe off his shoes and putting them on a little rack.
“Shit.” Wade did the same, making sure his gift basket stayed right side up as he arranged his boots on the rack besides Peter's beat up Converse.
“Peter! You're on time! Miracles do exist!” A woman came out of the kitchen, she was short, shorter than Peter but she still put her arms around his neck to pull him to her height as she hugged him, she was wearing a green apron stained with what Wade guessed was gravy and swayed side to side as she hugged Peter and her smile was still just as kind when she turned to look at Wade. “And is this the famous Wade?”
“Hi, ma'am,” Wade offered his hand, which she gently pushed away before wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him down for a hug. “Oh, uhm, hi.”
“No no no, no ma'am, please, you can just call me May.” She leaned back, looking at him with such open affection in her eyes, it made him want to pull his sweater over his head and hide. “Oh my, those shoulders.” She squeezed his bicep and turned back to look at Peter, giving him a smile and an impressed nod.
“May!” Peter blushed, looking away with a smile.
“I wanted to make sure you didn't lie!” She turned back around, letting go of Wade, who only raised the gift basket and offered it to her.
“This is for you,” She took it from his hand with a smile, taking his now free hand and pulling him to the living room, going round Peter who only raised his eyebrows and shrugged with a smile.
“Thank you sweetie, this is lovely.” She sat him down on the couch, seating him in the middle before putting the basket in the center table and dropping down on the lounge chair. “Peter has been talking about you for so long,” she looked over her shoulder at her nephew, who had gone to the kitchen, before turning to Wade with a conspiring look. “He can't stop talking about your shoulders, or about your legs, he says your thighs are like tree-”
“And that's enough of that!” Peter walked back to the living room, a tray with three glasses on hand and a blush running from the tip of his ears down to his neck. “Wade doesn't want to hear all that.”
“I do!”
“I bet he does!” Both May and Wade spoke at the same time, looking up at Peter who could only look at May with betrayal in his eyes.
“Well, he can hear all about it over dinner, right babe?” Wade smiled, he had been warned many times by Peter about his aunt's cooking, but he was still happy to be invited.
“Alright! Let's move this party then, Peter, help me set the table.”
The dinner was lovely, a tiny bit undercooked and slightly overseasoned and Wade definitely bit into a part that was still frozen, but he swallowed without complaint and hung onto every word May was saying, every story from Peter's childhood, no matter how much the subject of said stories protested.
Now, dishes empty but the conversation still flowing, May was in the middle of telling Wade how Peter had slept under his own bed for a while, for apparently no reason at all.
“No, wait! It wasn't three months, it was a couple of days at best.” Peter wagged his finger.
“Honey, we tucked you in under your bed for ages! You refused to sleep on the actual mattress, and Wade,” she turned to the other man. “He was just as stubborn then as he is now.” The mercenary giggled, nodding along mostly to annoy his boyfriend.
“I like tight spaces! And sleeping there was perfect for…” Suddenly, Peter looked out the living room window, his head tilted to the side in a way that reminded Wade of a puppy, eyes unfocused as he seemed to pick up something nobody else could.
“What is it?” Wade turned, he didn't have super hearing, like Peter, but maybe he could pick something up.
“Robbery. About 6 blocks from here.” Without another word, Peter stood up, rushing into one of the rooms without explanation.
“Off he goes,” May said, giving Wade a sad smile.
“Sorry.” Peter must have done some comic book magic, because quicker than Wade realized, he was back in the room, spidey suit on, except for the mask. “I'll be right back, fifteen minutes tops.” He pried open the window, then stopped, running back to the table to plant a kiss on Wade's head and then May's.
“Want me to come with you?” Wade offered.
“No need, I'll be right back, sounds like only 2 people.” Peter shook his head, going back to the window.
“Stay safe!” May called after her nephew, who pulled his mask on and threw one leg out the window.
“Always!” And off he went, swinging between buildings to help anyone who needed him. Any time, any day.
They sat in silence for a minute, neither one of them taking their eyes off the window, like he would actually be that quick.
“Wade, would you help me with the dishes?” Wade could've gotten whiplash with how fast he turned around, already piling dishes on top of each other to carry them to the kitchen sink. “Thank you, sweetie.”
They slipped into an easy rhythm, Wade scrubbed then rinsed and handed them to May so she could dry and put them away. Some old melody playing from the radio May kept in her kitchen, and it was peaceful enough that Wade allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts.
May Parker was the perfect explanation on why Peter is who he is. She raised him with a firm but loving hand and clearly worried over her nephew, but encouraged him to do what was right. Seeing them interact soothed something in Wade, a part of him that wanted to fuss over Peter like a mother hen, make sure he was looked after and safe, well fed and always had someone waiting for him.
“You're good for him, Wade,” Said man looked up from the plate he was scrubbing, watching May shut one of her kitchen cabinets. “He's…happier, and he's more careful since you've been around.” She leaned against the counter, staring at the window Peter had rushed out of.
“I hate it when he gets hurt,” The mercenary answered, back to scrubbing at the silverware until he could see his reflection in them. May was someone who radiates warmth and just knowing her for a couple of hours left Wade with a warm feeling in his chest.
“Me too,” May took her eyes off the window, now looking at the man beside her. “And that's why I'm so grateful Wade, I know you have his back when he's out there.” Wade’s only response was a tight lipped smile. He would always have Peter's back. “Wade, I don't know if you've noticed this but Peter has been smiling more.” May pulled out some mugs, placing them on the table before putting a teapot on the stove. “He laughs more, he calls me more,” She placed her hand on Wade's bicep. “Wade, you make Peter so happy.” He turned to look at her, surprised to see unshed tears in her eyes. “He has lost so much, and he gives so much to others but since you came into his life he is so much more…alive.”
Wade bit the inside of his cheek. Peter had come into his life to tear down every wall he had built, to fill his days with light and push the dark thoughts away. The thought that somehow Wade had made Peter better, had improved his life, even a little bit, was twisting his insides like a pretzel.
“I'm glad you two found each other.”
A couple of minutes later, Peter found them on the table, drinking coffee and eating from the tin of cookies Wade had brought.
If there were tear tracks on Wade's cheeks, he made no mention of them.
Later that night, back in Wade's apartment, he laid down on his couch, some mindless rerun playing on the TV when Peter approached, Wade received his company with a soft smile.
“Come here,” Wade motioned for Peter to lay on him, chest to chest and at the perfect spot for the hero to tuck his face in Wade's neck. “Pete?”
“Hm?”
“I like your aunt.”
“She likes you too.”
~~~♡~~~
“Shit!” Deadpool rolled to the side, barely avoiding the spear that was now buried in the pavement. "Ha! Missed!” but the hunter had taken his eyes off the merc, back to lashing at Spider-Man, trying to catch him with his whip.
"Oof! This really isn't safe, sane or consensual, Kraven,” Spidey shot a web at him, trying to stick him down to the pavement before he cornered him into one of the multiple traps Kraven set for him.
The villain had clearly been after them for a while, springing up after they had stopped a robbery to a bodega, managing to jerk the two supers around until he had cornered them into an alley; Spider-Man couldn't see them, but he knew it was riddled with traps, and it was only by the power of his spider senses that he had dodged most of them.
"You can try to run bug,” Another dagger, thrown expertly at the hero, who barely jumped out of the way. "But today, our battle comes to an end.”
"I don't think so, you furry!” Wade rushed Kraven, katanas out and with full intention of being used. The hunter turned around, parring Wade's attacks with another spear. “Where are you hiding those?!”
“This is not your fight, Deadpool.” Kraven raised his fist, a blade grasped tightly, but before he could swing down, he was pulled back by a web and dragged back several feet.
“Actually, you made me drop my elote when you ambushed us, so it is my fight!” The hunter cut at the web with a shiny dagger he pulled from his belt. Too shiny. “And now you're not just a bitch, you're a thief! That's a vibranium dagger!”
Snarling at the insult, Kraven pounced on Deadpool, going at him with everything in his arsenal, slashing at the mercenary who simply refused to go down, jumping out of the way with ease, swiping at Kraven's legs to try and trip him up.
Deadpool was a world class mercenary, of course the immortality gave him a boost in the business, but he was a trained fighter and a master at CQC. Deadpool was lethal all by himself, no need for dirty tricks, no need for weapons, he could fuck someone up just with his hands, especially this fucker who was after his sweetheart.
Speaking of, Spider-Man had jumped down, disarming a couple of Kraven's traps before jumping into the fight.
“Pst pst pst, come here Kraven!” Spider-Man again tried to stick him down, the hunter was strong, but if they managed to fully immobilize him, he was done, and something was telling the hero that Kraven was getting desperate.
“Enough!” In a twist worthy of a ballerina, Kraven turned, throwing the vibranium blade directly at Spider-Man, aiming for the center of his chest, but only gracing the side, deep cut, but nothing lethal.
Lethal for Deadpool though, who lost his focus when Kraven threw the blade, momentarily stuck by the idea that he would hit his target, rip his Peter from his arms in a single second.
By the time he was back in his body, it was already too late, Kraven was on top of him, the spear in hand and a second later, the spear was in Deadpool.
“You are nothing but a mangy dog. You're only worth what you can hunt!” Kraven pushed deeper, and Deadpool was sure the spear had to pierce the pavement with the strenght he was applying to it.
Fuck. Shit damn. That definitely pierced something important, something probably vital.
The last thing Deadpool saw was Spider-Man freeze, still as a statue, looking at him as he bled out on the pavement.
“HEY!”
He'd be back.
Right…
Back….
…
“-and I'll use those fancy bath bombs you love, come on babe, I promise, I swear, please.”
Someone was whispering right besides Wade's ear, presumably to him.
“Motherfucker.” Deadpool groaned, everything was blurry, and the floor hurt. He tried to curl himself into a ball but a hand on his chest stopped him.
“Deadpool! Wait! Wait, don't move, let me.” Strong, gentle arms lift him from the ground, cradling him to someone's chest, a steady heart beat under his ear and a quick kiss on top of his mask.
Spider-Man.
KRAVEN!
Wade startles, kicking and floundering for a second, trying to make sense of the position he's in, before the hero tightens his hold.
“Pool! It's me, it's okay!”
He had died! Kraven had pinned him down with a spear and he had left Spidey all alone for the fight!
“It's over, I'm fine, you're safe.” Blinking quickly, Wade took in his surroundings, with a much clearer vision, he looked at the hero, who was still cradling him to his chest like a baby, and took a deep breath.
“It's over?” The hero nodded, resting his head against Deadpool’s and breathing deep, wanting to make sure they were breathing the same air, wanting to make sure Wade breathed all. “What happened?”
“He's down, ‘Pool, we won this time.” Spider-Man's voice was shaky, quiet in a way that pointed to recent tears.
“Where is he?” Deadpool tried looking around. They were on a roof, not very tall but clearly still close to the alley where they had been caught.
Spider-Man sighed, taking some steps to the edge of the roof, signaling with his head for Deadpool to look down at the street.
Holy fuck.
There was a bunch of scraps littered over the street, barber wire and at least three different nets, what looked like a modified bear trap and metal pieces scattered all over.
More worrisome. Kraven.
The hunter was down, surrounded by paramedics and what looked lile half of the NYPD, but he looked terrible, bruises all over, blood dripping down his face, one of his eyes was so swollen Deadpool would bet it couldn't even open. He wasn't even twitching and one could only guess he was alive because the paramedics were taking his vital signs. What the fuck.
“What happened?” Spider-Man sighed, adjusting his hold on Wade's thigh and turning around.
“Let's get you home.”
~♡~
Once they were back in Peter's apartment, it didn't take long for Wade to understand what happened with Kraven.
“Pete, what the fuck? You almost killed him!” Wade ripped his mask off, looking around frantically, looking everywhere but at Peter, unable to face his own guilt. He had done this, Peter may have been the one to beat Kraven black and blue, but this fell on Wade's shoulders.
“He killed you! And I didn't almost kill him, I just made sure he wouldn't get back up.” Peter's voice was strained, angry and rough from crying.
“No! No, Peter! You're not supposed to say things like that! Spider-Man doesn't do that!” Peter shook his head, expression unreadable behind his mask.
“I don't care Wade! He hurt you! He called you a dog!” Peter stomped over to Wade, placing his hands on his shoulders, shaking him slightly.
“Oh my God! I'm making you bad!” Wade slapped his hands over his ears. “You never would have done something like that before me!”
Wade knew this all along. Acid hands. He destroyed everything he touched, and he had touched Peter all over, and here was the proof! He had corrupted Spider-Man and his unwavering morals. The hero had beaten Kraven within an inch of his life because he had been mean to Wade! Lots of people were mean to Wade!
“You're not making me bad!” Peter ripped off his mask, breathing harshly.
He looked a mess, bloodshot eyes, tear tracks marred his cheeks, fresh ones too.
There was a look in his eyes Wade hadn't seen before, not in this context. Fear.
“Petey…”
“Wade. Fine. I might have gone overboard with Kraven, I'll admit that.” Peter took a deep breath, letting it out . “But that's because of my own anger issues, you haven't made me bad, that's ridiculous.” Squeezing his eyes shut, Peter nods to himself, seeming to psyche himself up for something. “Wade. Nobody talks to you like that, and nobody will hurt you like that. Not if I can help it.” Holding his face so tenderly, Wade can only sniff when Peter pulls him down to press their foreheads together. “You're so good Wade. You try so hard, you do so much.” The mercenary wrapped his arms around Peter's waist. “I will never let someone treat you poorly, never; I know you don't believe me Wade, but you deserve so much.”
"You still wouldn't have done that before."
"Maybe, but that's not on you Wade, my mistakes are not something you should feel guilty for." Peter ran his hands up and down Wade's back.
Shit. Maybe Peter tore down his walls, maybe he was warm honey on his sharp edges. Maybe Wade could put down some of the guilt he carries.
~~~♡~~~
“Hey, handsome.” Wade looked up from his coloring book, putting down the marker so he could greet his boyfriend.
“Petey! How was…” Wade trailed off, his eyes pinned to the giant bouquet that Peter was carefully pulling through the window. “Pete?” Wade could immediately feel his heart flutter.
“Hey” Peter walked up to him, quickly reaching up and pulling the mask off. “How has your day been, baby?” He crouched down to the floor, kissing the top of Wade's head before sitting criss-cross applesauce next to him, careful to not sit on any of his drawings or markers.
“Uhmm, good, chill.” Wade showed Peter his drawing, eyes still on the bouquet. “Are those…for me?”
“Yes! Guessed on the first try!”
Flowers for no reason. A huge bouquet of roses and sunflowers just to brighten Wade's day. Fucking sap.
~♡~
Wade
Peteykins
I hve smth to ask u
nd it's v important !!!
if I happened to become a worm
Petey Peachy Pie
I would love you yes
Wade
what if I became a spider
Petey Peachy Pie
hmmmm
Wade
Answer the question bug boy
coward
Petey Peachy Pie
Idk!!!
Too many eyes!!!
Wade
TRAITOR!
BLOCKED!!!!
BLOCKED REPORTED AND J³ WILL
BE GETTING A STRONGLY WORDED
ARTICLE ON WHY SPIDERMAN SUCKS
~♡~
Moving together. Moving together to live together in the same apartment. Together.
Wade suggested it. With Peter's lease coming to an end, Wade proposed to Peter that they start looking at apartments together, that they look for something halfway to aunt May’s place and Peter's workplace. Something with two bedrooms and in a high floor.
Peter had jumped at the idea, a smile stretched so wide across his face it made him squint, and had started looking for their place as fast as he could. Peter wanted to live with him, to share a space and a routine and a life.
Together.
Opening one of the bathroom boxes, Wade had found himself frozen in front of the mirror cabinet, looking at his reflection.
He was still scarred to hell, his skin ever changing and slivers of muscle visible through the more horrid scars, his mind still a mess and his demons always present, nightmares chasing after him and the weight of his actions still heavy on his shoulders.
But he looked…better? Peter had helped him with a skin routine specially for him, there was no cream gentle enough on his skin so Peter had taken to the task and made one himself. He always left him ridiculous, encouraging, lovey dovey post it notes on the bedside table, before he left the apartment, he held him tenderly, tight against his chest when his night terror were strong enough to tense every muscle in his body, to wake him up covered in sweat and with a scream on the tip of his tongue. Peter loved him. Good, bad, terrible, awful. Loved him so much.
And being loved is a great look on Wade W. Wilson.