Chapter Text
Amane couldn’t help but think that the atmosphere seemed more festive than last year. Perhaps it was only in his head, yet he couldn’t deny the sense of mirth and joy that hung in the air.
The New Years had come once again, and he and Mahiru were visiting the shrine they went to last year. Although there were shrines closer to his home, he felt it appropriate to visit the first shrine they had visited together in light of everything that had happened over the past few months.
Amane wore the same outfit as last year—a dark gray Chesterfield coat over a white turtleneck and some black slacks—but didn’t style his hair this time. Not that he needed to, seeing as he had no urge to don a disguise this time around. Mahiru, on the other hand, had come in a blue cable-knit pullover with a gray scarf wrapped around her neck, and a pair of navy blue stockings under a knee-length pleated skirt of the same color. It was in contrast to the kimono she wore last year, exchanging the traditional outfit for a more contemporary style. Amane thought it looked great on her, though he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her in a kimono.
Considering her circumstances though, this might be the best choice for her , Amane thought to himself.
After going through the purifying ritual at the fountain by the entrance, the two of them went inside to look for their two friends. Amane scanned the crowd while Mahiru listened for any sign of their voices. Her cane clacked across the stone pavement as they moved. It didn’t take long before they found each other.
“Heeeey! Amane! Shiina-san!”
A lively voice called out to them. Turning his head, Amane soon saw two familiar figures emerge from the crowd.
“Happy New Year Itsuki, Chitose,” Amane greeted. His friends returned his greeting with two beaming smiles.
“Yep, Happy New Year to you too pal,” Itsuki replied. He wore a thick light brown coat and some equally thick-looking pants. “And you as well, Shiina-san.”
“Likewise, Akazawa-san,” Mahiru bowed. “I hope you can continue to take care of me this year as well.”
“Like we’re gonna stop after having come this far,” Chitose puffed. Unlike Mahiru, her legs were bare save from some striped pink socks that stopped halfway up her lower leg and a pair of black boots. It was a mystery why she left her legs exposed to the elements when the rest of her body was equipped with a thick salmon-pink puffer jacket and a white padded skirt, but Amane decided against asking. “But enough of that! The line’s only gonna get longer if we stand here all day.” Turning on her foot, she grabbed Itsuki by his wrist and marched towards a long line of people that stretched to the shrine in the middle of the grounds.
“Ah, wait! Hey, slow down a bit!” Itsuki’s short protests were summarily ignored.
Hearing a small chuckle, Amane found Mahiru quirk a small smile. “As energetic as usual, those two.”
“Come on, we don’t want to keep them waiting.” Grasping her hand, Amane pulled Mahiru along. “Don’t drop your cane.”
An affirmative nod was given.
“Where’s Shihoko-san and Shuuto-san?” Mahiru asked as they slotted themselves into the queue. She accepted an apology squeaked out by a small child that had bumped into her.
“They’re probably making their way over now unless they’re still looking for parking space,” Amane said. He and Mahiru had come to the shrine via public transport, and were to meet up with his parents at the shrine before bringing them back to his apartment later for a proper New Years gathering. Amane wanted to move some stuff back into his old house, prompting his parents to rent a car instead of taking public transport in order to haul all of it back with them. He felt a little bad for making them go through all that hassle, but he appreciated the sentiment regardless.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. With his free hand, he took it out and read the message he had received. “Yep, I just got a text. They just entered the shrine. I think I can see them washing their hands by the entrance, actually. We’ll see them later after we all say our prayers.”
The line moved forward little by little. Grasping Mahiru’s hand all the way, Amane led Mahiru as he walked, tugging her hand to signal her to walk forward and quickly squeezing it to make her stop—a predetermined routine they had established beforehand to prevent Mahiru from bumping into people in the line.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity of waiting, Amane and Mahiru neared the front of the line. To the side of the saisenbako—the box where they were to offer their prayers—was Itsuki and Chitose grabbing some fortune slips. It seemed that Chitose had drawn something rather unfortunate as her face was marred with disappointment. Itsuki, meanwhile, looked as if he had won a million dollars. The contrast brought an amused huff from Amane.
“What happened?” Mahiru asked him.
“Oh, I just saw Itsuki and Chitose by the fortune stand. Itsuki looks like he just won the lottery while Chitose looks like they gave her extra homework over the holidays. I guess that answers what fortunes they got.” he explained.
“Ahaha. Poor Chitose,” Mahiru chuckled, “I’ll treat her to something later.”
Finally, it was their turn.
Amane and Mahiru stepped in front of the saisenbako. After ringing the bell and chucking in a few coins into the offering box, the two of them went through the obligatory bows and claps before they offered their prayers.
Thank you for letting Mahiru smile again.
Amane wasn’t particularly religious, but as he prayed, he decided to thank whatever deity might be out there for giving him and Mahiru a second chance. He didn’t really direct gratitude towards the gods before in previous shrine visits, but he felt this was a special circumstance. After giving his thanks, he offered his wish.
May we experience many more years of happiness. May our lives be filled with health. And may our hard work pay off.
He wasn’t expecting divine intervention to carry them all throughout their lives. Hard work and effort on both of them would be needed to get through the obstacles that would inevitably come their way, hence the prayer for their efforts to succeed. But hard work and effort was already a natural part of their lives after the incident in June. Having come this far, all they could do was to move forward.
After offering his prayer, Amane opened his eyes. Mahiru was still deep in prayer, her eyes closed and hands clasped. Soon though, she opened her eyes as well. Amane called out to her, directing her attention to him. Poking her cane around her surroundings and scanning the nearby environment for tripping hazards, Mahiru followed the sound of his voice until she was in front of the fortune stand.
“Want to get a fortune Mahiru?” he asked her. She nodded in affirmation. After paying the shrine maiden holding the box of fortune slips, Amane slipped his hand in and drew a slip before Mahiru did the same. Mahiru handed her fortune over to Amane so he could read it for her.
“So what does mine say?” she asked him.
“Well, good news. You drew one that says ‘great fortune’, and that you’ll have luck with…horse racing bets?” Amane looked at the shrine maiden in confusion, who wryly smiled and gave a small shrug in response.
Mahiru giggled. “And what did you draw?”
Amane looked at his slip. “I got a ‘small fortune’. Good luck in spring, but I’m to be careful around fish for some reason.”
Who’s in charge of writing these? , he thought as he and Mahiru went to meet Itsuki and Chitose near the food vendors.
“So what did you guys get?” Itsuki asked, handing Amane some red bean soup in a cup.
“Small fortune,” Amane answered. The red bean soup was warm and smooth, and was perfect in the cold temperature that the winter morning brought despite being a little too sweet for his tastes. “What about you?” he asked after swallowing, “You looked like you were top of the world earlier.”
“Oh you saw that?” Itsuki scratched his cheek and laughed, embarrassed. “I got a ‘great fortune’. Good luck awaits me this year.”
“Is that so? I suppose you’ll need it for the exams this year.”
“Ugh. Please give me some of that,” Chitose groaned. “Or better yet, don’t bring up school during New Years.”
“And what did you pull?” Mahiru asked her.
Chitose grimaced. “...I got a ‘misfortune’. I’m at risk of bad grades and I have to avoid fish for some reason.”
“Huh, what a coincidence. Mine told me to be careful of fish,” Amane remarked as he took another sip of red bean soup.
“Huh? You got a misfortune as well, Amane?” Chitose exclaimed, her eyes brightening. “I mean, that’s a bad thing, but at least I’m not alone in this!”
“Uh, no, mine said ‘small fortune’.” Amane finished the red bean soup. “Ow! What was that for?”
Chitose withdrew her fist, which had buried itself in Amane’s shoulder a second ago. “Traitor,” she sulked.
Mahiru giggled. “I’ll share some of my fortune with you, Chitose. I got a ‘great fortune’ so I should have some to spare.”
Chitose excitedly turned around and grabbed Mahiru by her upper arms, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from the startled girl. “Really?! Are you sure, Mahirun?! A great fortune isn’t something you should just give away, you know!”
“I’m not giving it away, I’m sharing it,” Mahiru clarified, her face recovering from Chitose’s excited outburst. “However, we’ll be tutoring you extensively over this year to make up for the bad luck you drew.”
“Yay! I love you Mahirun!” Chitose hugged her.
“It’s nice to see you in high spirits.”
A deep masculine voice interrupted the ridiculous exchange between the group. Turning around, Amane saw his parents approaching them. Both were coats with matching scarf colors.
“Happy New Year everyone,” his father greeted with a small wave. “I hope we’ll all get along this year.”
“Likewise Shuuto-san,” Itsuki replied with a bow. Chitose and Mahiru followed suit. “It’s good to see you in good health.”
“Ah you look adorable Mahiru-chan!” his mother squeed. Predictably, she started doting on Mahiru the second she laid eyes on her. Chitose nodded in agreement. Mahiru shrunk back a little, clearly anticipating the onslaught that was about to happen.
“What? No New Year's greeting towards your son?” Amane said, hoping to ease Mahiru’s burden a little. His mother smiled and rubbed his head.
“Is my son getting jealous?”
“Not really.”
“Don’t worry Amane, I haven’t forgotten about you,” his mother laughed. “Happy New Year.”
“That greeting felt an awful lot like an afterthought.”
“Perish the thought Amane,” his mother said, waving her hand in denial. “Tell you what, I’ll treat you guys to something, okay?”
“Mom, don’t just change the topic like that…” Amane sighed. Her mother was a hurricane of energy as always, especially at the beginning of the year.
“Oh, uh, there’s no need to treat us Shihoko-san, we have money,” Itsuki said, trying to politely refuse her offer. Chitose nodded in agreement.
“Oh don’t worry, it’s just some loose change,” Shihoko answered, thrusting a few coins into each person’s hands. It was clear that she wasn’t going to take it back.
Itsuki looked at Amane for help. Amane shrugged his shoulders in response, signaling to his friend that he might as well just take it.
The four of them went around the food vendors, chasing whatever smelled good to them. Amane’s parents had wandered off somewhere to take a call from his extended family members, telling them to enjoy themselves in the meanwhile.
They all stopped in front of a takoyaki stall, having followed a particularly delicious scent trail to it.
“Hey there kids!” the owner guffawed heartily. He was a rather stocky man with some burly arms, and his rough smile gave off the impression of a trustworthy uncle-type figure. “The takoyaki here is quite fresh! Want some?”
“Yes please!” Itsuki exclaimed, dropping a few coins on the counter.
“Yeah I’ll have some too,” Chitose added, dropping some coins as well.
“Ah, why not?” Amane decided. “What about you Mahiru?”
“I’ll take some,” she smiled. Amane dropped some coins to pay for both of theirs.
“Coming right up!” the stall owner grinned. Taking a container full of batter from the side of the stall, he poured a large heap into the takoyaki pan, allowing the group to see the food fry in front of them. The smell of roasting octopus and succulent herbs rose into the air. After a short while, the man grabbed some skewers and flipped each piece of takoyaki to allow the other side to fry. After a few more turns, he carefully placed the brown crisp balls into four paper boats.
“What toppings would you guys like? Take your pick,” he gestured to some condiment bottles resting nearby.
“Uh, I’ll take the mayonnaise,” Itsuki said.
“Ketchup,” Chitose chimed.
“Takoyaki sauce please,” Amane answered. “Mahiru? What do you want?”
“What are the options?” she asked him.
“Takoyaki sauce, soy sauce, mayonnaise, ketchup, yuzu, bonito flakes, and something I can’t identify.”
“Ah, that’ll be the squid ink,” the owner answered. “Adds a bit more umami flavoring if the batter isn't strong enough for you.”
“When did takoyaki start getting served with squid ink?” Chitose asked as she stared at the bottle with the substance, her curiosity for unusual food combinations showing through her stare. Amane saw Itsuki shudder out of the corner of his eye, likely out of a sense of foreboding. He decided to pray for his friend’s stomach later.
“Every food vendor needs a gimmick nowadays,” the owner laughed.
“I’ll take the mayonnaise with some bonito flakes please,” Mahiru—who deliberated her choices while everyone was talking—told the owner.
“Coming right up!” he answered, applying the ordered condiments to each paper boat. Sticking a skewer into each boat, he soon handed the boats to the group along with some napkins.
“Careful, they’re hot. Be sure to blow on them or you won’t be tasting anything else for a good while.”
“Thank you for the food,” Amane said as he received his and Mahiru’s boats.
“Enjoy the festivities kids.” He waved them off with a toothy grin.
Amane’s parents were waiting at a group of benches near one of the shrine’s fences when the group came up to them. All of them sat down. Mahiru leaned her cane against the fence before accepting her takoyaki boat from Amane.
“Ah that smells good,” Shihoko said. “Where’d you find it?”
“Near the sugar cane juice. You’ll see it if you go down that lane,” Amane answered, pointing towards the direction they came from.
“Here. Taiyaki,” Shuuto told Amane, waving one in his hand. “You can have it while your takoyaki cools down.”
“Thanks dad,” Amane accepted, setting down his paper boat to receive the fish-shaped treat.
“Anyone else want one? The stall’s just over there.”
“Maybe some other time, Shuuto-san,” Chitose glanced away. “My fortune told me to avoid fish. I mean, I’m not exactly superstitious, but still…”
“I suppose that can’t be helped then,” Shuuto chuckled. Amane couldn’t help but think of the idea of taiyaki—a food associated with good fortune—bringing bad luck as some kind of twisted joke.
The group chatted for a while as they snacked on the food they ordered. Amane, in a rather ironic twist, choked on a piece of taiyaki, leading Chitose to exclaim how she “can’t believe your fortune came true this quickly, Amane. I was right to avoid a similar fate,” right before diving back into her takoyaki boat. The excitement in the shrine was starting to die a little as the crowd slowly shrunk and the line for prayers grew shorter.
“So Amane,” his mother said, “how are you holding up lately?”
“Getting better,” he replied. “The bicycle helped a lot, and I’m not exactly trembling like a leaf anymore whenever a car passes by on the road.”
Shihoko huffed in relief. “That’s good to hear.”
“I’m really sorry again for asking for money.”
“Nonsense, Amane. All of our funds are there when you need it,” his mother laughed off his concern. “If it makes you feel better, it’s still cheaper than therapy.”
“I guess…”
“What about you, Mahiru-chan?” his mother turned to his girlfriend. “How are you holding up? You haven’t been having trouble in the crowd today, are you?”
“I’m fine,” Mahiru smiled. “My instructor says that I’m at a level where I can walk in crowded areas as long as I have supervision. If I keep practicing at my current progress, I’ll be able to walk in crowds like this by myself before the end of the year.”
“Nice!” Chitose exclaimed. “Tell us when, Mahirun! We’ll go on a double date to celebrate.”
“That’ll be nice,” Itsuki piped in. “Amane, you two haven’t been to an amusement park yet, right? Let’s all go together.”
“An amusement park?” Amane remarked. “Well, I’m not exactly against it, but I’ll have to run it through her instructor first.” Although Mahiru might have become proficient at navigating with her cane to the extent that her instructor had deemed her ready to visit the shrine, amusement parks involved more fast moving crowds compared to the slower, more reverent pace the shrine visitors were moving at that day. He recalled the anxious breakdown Mahiru had suffered when she tried walking around with a cane for the first time. He wasn’t keen on having her revisit that state of mind.
“It should be fine if you find one that’s accessible to the visually impaired, I think,” his father said out of the blue. “A lot of parks these days will have more inclusive options to draw in as many visitors as possible. Though I do agree with running it through her instructor first.”
“It’s settled then,” Itsuki grinned. Amane huffed in response as he bit into his takoyaki.
After eating, the group headed towards the entrance. At this point, a majority of visitors had already left, leaving only a few dozen visitors scattered around the shrine. The sun was nearing its apex, and the air was noticeably less chilly than it was when they had first come in earlier. Some food vendors have started to pack up their merchandise, and the sound of stalls closing and being disassembled were heard through the air.
“So, where are you guys going now?” Amane asked Itsuki and Chitose.
“I have to go home,” Itsuki replied with a slight scowl. “I promised my dad that I’d be there tonight for the New Year's family gathering. It was a miracle that he let me come here at all…”
“Thank you for taking some time to come with us, Akazawa-san,” Mahiru curtsied.
“Oh no, thank you for having me, Shiina-san,” Itsuki replied with a hint of bashfulness. “Just seeing you two doing well is enough to help me start the year on a good note.”
“Right then, we’ll be off. Promised my mom I’d get some groceries on the way home. Until next time, Shuuto-san, Shihoko-san,” Chitose said with a bow. She and Itsuki gave off a final wave as they turned to head towards the nearest bus station.
Amane and Mahiru gave their own waves as their two friends soon disappeared from view.
“Well then, I shall go get the car,” Shuuto said as he walked off towards the parking lot.
The trees rustled against the brushing of wind. The shrine had become noticeably more quiet save for the small chatter of a few visitors left behind. The three of them stood near the entrance as they waited for Shuuto to arrive with the rental car.
“Amane,” his mother said, “remember that you’ll always have our support, okay? I’ll say it as many times as I need to.”
“Understood,” he replied.
Shihoko sighed. “I hope this year will be a good one.”
“…Me too,” Amane agreed.
Last year had been rather exacting for him. During the sports festival in May, Mahiru, the most sought after girl in school as well as his neighbor, had confessed to him in the open, leaving him no doubt that their friendship had meant more to her than he was willing to believe. It had been the happiest day he felt in his life.
No more than a few weeks later, in the beginning of June, however, the incident happened.
And his entire world nearly ended.
Through some miracle, both of them survived. Mahiru, however, had been rendered permanently blind. She would no longer see anything the world could offer again. Amane, traumatized by the whole ordeal, had blamed himself for her predicament and started to regress to his former habits.
The next few months were filled with pain and anxiety as the two of them grappled with how to deal with the new dynamics in their relationship. They cried, they toiled, they suffered, and had almost broken each other apart due to some stupid decisions. It was all thanks to their friends that they were able to make it through those tribulations. They both owed their friends a massive debt of gratitude, and resolved not to let their efforts go to waste by sticking close to each other as much as they can.
After a long painful while, they adjusted. They could never return to the way they were, but they could move forward as long as they had each other’s backs. It would be a lie to say that they were completely healed, but it would be untruthful to say that they were broken beyond repair. If one were to ask him how their relationship was affected, Amane would say that he and Mahiru were closer now than before, not because they would collapse should one of them fall, but rather because they both saw each other’s weakest sides, accepted it, and helped each other to grow.
Mahiru had once been asked if she would take the chance to live a normal life again if she could. She replied, “I’m living a normal life right now, aren’t I? It might not be free of pain, but no one is really free from that, correct?”
Similarly, Amane had been asked if he would undo the accident if he could. “I suppose I’ll have to ask Mahiru if she wants that,” he responded. “But I’d rather not dwell on hypotheticals. As long as she’s happy, that’s all that matters to me.”
That exchange had rather embarrassingly cemented both him and Mahiru as a school legend that he suspected would be passed down to successive generations of students for years to come.
“Now then!’ Shihoko clapped. “I suppose I better start planning tonight’s dinner. Is there anything you want to eat, Mahiru-chan?”
“I’ll help,” Mahiru offered. “I’ve gotten to the point where I can use metal knives again.”
“Splendid! I’ll take you up on that then. I’ve always wanted a daughter to help me out in the kitchen,” Shihoko happily accepted the offer.
As the two of them started to draft the menu for that night, Amane couldn’t help but smile. It had been a long road, but Mahiru had learnt how to smile from the bottom of her heart.
Once again, he thanked whatever deity was out there for giving him and Mahiru a second chance at life.
Notes:
Waffle Trivia
Taiyaki is a food associated with good fortune to due it being modelled after 'tai' (sea bream), a fish thought to be harbringers of good luck. Whether or not it actually brings good luck is something you'll have to fins out for yourself, I suppose.
Chapter Text
The air thrummed with the beeps and humming of machinery. Morning sunlight softly lights the room with its radiance.
Amane reached his hand out in front of him, interlocking his fingers with the hand of the person in front of him—a flaxen-haired girl with beautiful milky skin. Her refined facial features, her figure devoid of unnecessary cellulite and an admirable lack of cosmetic defects have often drawn comparisons to the angels of religious lore in the past from smitten onlookers. It was as if she was carved out of the finest marble and painted with the utmost care.
If it weren’t for the IV drip attached to her arm and the wires attached to her, one could’ve mistaken the hospital gown she was wearing for a heavenly robe. That was just how breathtaking Mahiru Shiina was.
Amane reached out and stroked her head, her flaxen curtain interweaving between his fingers like strands of gold.
I’m sorry , he apologized in his mind as he looked at her. It was an apology he had repeated for days now. I should’ve been more careful.
It was a day like any other, very much ordinary in every sense of the word. The temperature was a little chilly, but nothing unbearable. The clouds danced across the sky, the birds sang their songs, the trees swayed to the whims of the wind. It was, indeed, an ordinary day like no other.
But it was because the day was so ordinary that no one could have predicted what happened.
Amane and Mahiru were out walking when all of a sudden a car had collided into a nearby pole. He didn’t know if the car spun out-of-control due to recklessness, inattentiveness or if it was a genuine freak accident, but it didn’t change the fact that the car changed course and slammed into them. Thrown to the ground by the momentum of the out-of-control vehicle, Amane and Mahiru were thrown a few feet into the air before hitting the ground again. The screams of horrified onlookers faded as he slowly lost consciousness.
As he had landed on his right side, Amane’s injuries centered around his right shoulder and right arm, both of which suffered severe fracturing and required corrective surgery. It would take roughly two months to heal, and until then, it was wrapped in a cast. Thankfully, Amane was ambidextrous, so while the injury was an annoyance, it wouldn’t stop him from being able to do schoolwork or any minor chores around the house. His skull also suffered some fracturing, though thankfully it was nothing too major, and he was currently wearing a head bandage to prevent any further bleeding. He would be having headaches for a while. The only proof of a head injury after he heals would be the facial scar that now ran down from his forehead to his left eye, though it wouldn’t be that noticeable thanks to his bangs. Additionally, due to how fast his neck was forcefully rotated as he was sent flying through the air, he ended up suffering whiplash; he would experience neck pain for the next few months as his neck tendons repair. His neck was currently held in a neck brace to prevent any further damage. With all of these injuries to account for, he was told to rest in the hospital for two weeks before he could be discharged.
Mahiru, on the other hand, took far more damage. He didn’t know if it was because of her small frame or if she ended up taking the brunt of the collision, but her upper body suffered rather extreme injuries. This didn’t come as a surprise to Amane, who recalled seeing her mangled form and an expanse of red pooling below her before he blacked out.
He was grateful towards his parents for providing the monetary and emotional support he needed afterwards. As soon as they heard about the accident, they immediately dropped everything and hopped on the earliest train they could catch to visit the wounded couple.
He still remembered the moment he opened his eyes. After registering the pain swelling throughout his body, his eyes recognised his parents, watching over him while sitting next to his hospital bed. His mother, her eyes red and puffy, practically leapt up from the chair she was sitting on, her trembling voice repeating his name over and over, as if fearing that he would disappear like the morning dew. His father, on the other hand, looked like he was on the verge of lifelessness, as if the only thing keeping him awake at that time was his anxiety over Amane’s wellbeing.
The first thing they did, after unwinding their arms around him, was to tell Amane what happened after the crash. Apparently, after being rushed to the hospital, he and Mahiru underwent emergency surgery to remove any debris that buried themselves inside their bodies.
The hospital contacted their parents while they rested. Dropping all their business immediately, Amane’s parents hopped on the first available train and rushed to visit.
After ascertaining the relationship between them, the hospital was kind enough to put Amane and Mahiru in the same ward to recover.
Hearing that Mahiru was with him, Amane looked around the room and saw Mahiru, lying in bed. Her entire body was clad in a hospital gown, but he could make out multiple wires snaking their way out of her clothes and fed into a heart rate monitor attached to the wall. Her upper face was covered in bandages, and a breathing mask was firmly clamped over her mouth, regularly fogging over from her breath. Her arms were just as bandaged as her face, with an IV drip cable inserted through the wrappings.
It was an incredibly disturbing sight. Amane couldn’t help but shed a few tears at her state.
According to her medical examination, most of the damage Mahiru suffered from the collision was centered on her torso area. Through some sheer miracle, her ribs, though slightly cracked, managed to avoid serious damage and would heal within a few weeks. Her shoulders and torso muscles, however, were heavily bruised and required an extensive amount of surgery. In addition, a few of the debris had left gashing wounds all over her face and arms. Crimson streaks that had been stitched up and patched were left behind after the offending fragments were removed.
Amane was shocked over the amount of damage she took, yet felt a tiny prick of relief. He didn’t know what he would do if he was the only one who survived.
Unfortunately, the bad news didn’t end there.
“There’s something else that you have to know,” the doctor had told them. “She was fortunate to survive, but regarding her eyes…”
The explanation took a while and a lot of medical jargon flew over his head, but Amane had understood enough of it that his heart crumbled. The pain he felt far exceeded the impact of the car crash a thousandfold.
“It’s not your fault, Amane,” his mother told him, “so please don’t blame yourself.” Her tone was unnaturally dispirited, showing how much the situation had affected her too. Perhaps the reason she didn’t cry then was because her tears had already been used up.
Before they left, Amane’s parents made known their plans to file legal action against the driver who hit them.
Itsuki and Chitose visited two days later. As if a dam had burst, the two of them heaved and sighed in relief. Itsuki’s eyes, in particular, were rimmed with faint eye bags under them, prompting Amane to apologize for worrying him. Itsuki grinned messily and lightly hit him in the shoulder in response.
When they laid their eyes on Mahiru, however, their smiles disappeared. Itsuki, who often hid his true feelings behind a smile, could only stare blankly as he slightly staggered. Chitose, who occupied the title of Mahiru’s best friend, could only sit beside the comatose girl and cry as she begged her to wake up. It was such a departure from her usual cheerful demeanor that Amane couldn’t help but quietly shed some more tears.
He apologized to Chitose over Mahiru’s state. He told her how his failure to notice the speeding vehicle had caused Mahiru to end up in this state.
“I don’t want to hear you say it’s your fault,” Chitose snapped at him. “If you blame yourself again, I’ll punch you!”
This rather uncharacteristic threat of violence prompted Itsuki to intervene. Chitose, having realized what she said, broke down again.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I must be more tired than I thought.”
“No,” Amane had told her, “I don’t blame you.”
Before they left, Itsuki, holding his teary girlfriend by the shoulders, told Amane to focus on getting some rest. “Otherwise,” he said, “Shiina-san will get very mad at you.”
Almost two weeks had passed since the accident, and roughly a week since he regained consciousness. Not a day went by where he hoped for Mahiru to wake up, yet she remained in the grip of her coma.
Every day, he would get up out of bed and sit next to Mahiru. Thankfully, his legs were mostly unaffected, and the hospital allowed him to stand up and get out of bed a few days after he woke up, allowing him to sit by her side. He clasped his hands over Mahiru’s, hoping that she would be able to feel his presence even in the depths of unconsciousness.
“Can you hear me?” Amane said to her. No response was given, nor was one expected. “If you can, then I guess you’re tired of me apologizing over and over, aren’t you?”
A laugh that mocked himself croaked out of his throat. He reached for a plastic cup on a nearby table, filled it with water, and drank it before putting down the cup.
“Hey Mahiru,” Amane said to her. “Once we return home, is there anywhere you’d like us to go? Our last date was a bit of a disaster, so I’d like to make it up to you.” He shuffled his feet. “I never took you to an aquarium before, haven’t I? We could go…no I don’t suppose you’d be able to enjoy much from there. How about an amusement park? Oh but then you’d probably worry about bumping into someone.”
Amane drooped as he envisioned Mahiru fumbling around. No matter where he could take her, she would never be able to enjoy the sights he wanted to show her. No more would she enjoy the sight of cherry blossoms in bloom or even the scenery of clouds as they drifted across the sky. A world of darkness awaits her when she wakes up, and with it the fear of the unknown with every step she takes. Every step became a potential tripping hazard, every direction meant the risk of bumping into something.
Amane sniffled as the tears he held back poured down. “I don’t care where we go,” he told the sleeping girl in front of him. “I just want to see you smile. Is that too much for me to ask?”
The walls were stained orange in the light of dusk. The sun dipped itself into the horizon, signaling the end of another day.
As had become routine for him, Amane spent the whole day next to her, only leaving her side to eat and to use the bathroom. He had turned on the television earlier, both as a form of distraction and in the hopes that the sound would rouse Mahiru from her coma. He could make out his disheveled appearance reflected on the screen.
Amane sighed in despondency. Dinner had been served an hour ago, and there was nothing to do until he had to go to bed. He looked at Mahiru again. Her chest rose up and down underneath her blanket. Her vitals were stable, giving him some measure of comfort. It was a cold comfort, though. He had hoped against hope that today would be the day she’d wake up, but like the past few days, his patience found itself continuously tested.
Amane stood up, ready to make his way over to his side of the ward. As much as he would’ve preferred to stay by her side, he knew better than to cause trouble for the nurses who prescribed a strict rest schedule for him. He could still keep an eye on Mahiru from his bed, though, so he shoved down any disappointment he may have had.
Carefully, he leaned over and tenderly rubbed her forehead.
Goodnight, Mahiru. He could only hope that his feelings were adequately conveyed through his touch.
Suddenly, the girl’s arm twitched, snapping Amane into attention. Her breathing broke its previous rhythm, and, after a few seconds of tense anticipation, a small groan leaked out of her mouth.
“Ma…hiru?” Amane’s heart pounded with anticipation and elation.
A small, weak voice uttered a reply. “Amane-kun?”
Amane could feel his eyes water. He dropped to his knees and took Mahiru’s hand once more, gripping it tight and bringing his forehead to it.
“Thank goodness,” he cried. “You’re finally awake.”
His body trembled as relief overflowed from the bottom of his chest and tears flowed down his cheeks.
“Good evening,” Mahiru said, returning his greeting. “You sound worried. Are you alright?”
“I’m a bit better now. What about you? How’re you doing?”
“I think I’m fi—” her voice was cut off as she suddenly winced in pain.
“Mahiru?!”
Amane immediately looked at her. Her mouth was grimacing in clear discomfort.
“My…my chest hurts. It’s hard…to talk,” she wheezed.
“A few of your ribs suffered damage so you might have some discomfort breathing,” Amane explained. “Don’t talk right now if it hurts, Mahiru.”
“Is that why…there’s a gas mask on me?”
“Oxygen mask. But, yeah, that’s why.”
“That means…I’m in the hospital…aren’t I?”
Amane grimaced in discomfort. A feeling of helplessness assailed him.
“You don’t have to…hide it from me. I remember the car…hitting us very well.” Amane’s chest grew painful. “How long have…I been out for?”
Amane hesitated.
“...Ten days,” he finally said. “I’m sorry. If only I paid more attention, this never would’ve-”
“It’s not your fault,” Mahiru swiftly interrupted. “No one could’ve…predicted what happened. I should be…happy that I didn’t lose anything…important.”
Amane froze when he heard that. He didn’t know how to tell her that she really had lost something important. He knew that it was only a matter of time before she found out, but it didn’t make it any less agonizing to him.
“Huh? There’s something…on my face…” Mahiru muttered as she reached out for the bandages covering her eyes.
“Don’t take them off!” Amane exclaimed, grabbing Mahiru by the wrist. His girlfriend shook, visibly startled by his sudden maneuver. He immediately relaxed his grip and let go, silently admonishing himself for being rough on a bedridden patient.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he apologized to her.
“Amane-kun, what’s wrong?” She put her hands down and turned her head towards him.
Amane stayed silent as he attempted to organize his thoughts.
How do I tell her?
Another moment of silence.
“Amane-kun?”
“Mahiru…” Amane paused as he took a deep breath and exhaled, resolving himself.
“Mahiru, your eyes were damaged during the crash. You’ve lost your eyesight.”
Amane anxiously locked his gaze on his girlfriend.
He remembered his own world turning dark when he heard the report from the doctor, and he could only imagine what effect this piece of information would have on the affected person.
Color drained from Mahiru’s cheeks. She trembled, prompting Amane to grimace.
“I-I’ve lost my eyesight?” The weak voice that escaped her lips made Amane feel incredibly helpless.
“...Yes,” he replied. Amane knew that there was no point in not telling Mahiru her new situation. To delay the explanation would be to delay and prolong her suffering. But it still hurt to tell her. “During the crash, some debris flew into your face, some of it into your eyes. Your optic nerves were shredded. You’re currently healing from the removal surgery.” Amane took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Mahiru, but you won’t be able to see again.”
Amane let go of her wrist. She fell silent, her face wearing a forlorn expression.
“I see,” she uttered softly. “That explains…the bandages.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“Please stop, Amane-kun,” said Mahiru. “I told you before…that I hate it when you look down on yourself… You have nothing to apologize for.”
Mahiru groped the air until her hand found Amane’s chest. As she felt around, her hands touched the sling of his cast, eliciting a confused expression on her face. Following the sling, Mahiru made contact with the arm cast, causing her to let out a small gasp of surprise.
“Yeah, I didn’t exactly make it out unscathed either,” Amane admitted awkwardly.
Mahiru’s hand stayed on the cast as her fingers traced the individual wrappings coated around his arm.
“How bad…are your injuries?” she asked him.
“My right arm is heavily bruised and my left arm is fractured,” Amane replied. “I also suffered a minor head injury and I’m currently in a neck brace.”
Mahiru’s lips quivered as she put her hand down.
“Ah! Don’t worry, they said I’ll fully recover in a few weeks,” Amane tried to console her out of panic. “I’ll be out of his neck brace by next week, though apparently I have to stay in this cast for two more months. Please, just focus on getting better, Mahiru.”
His voice strained towards the end of his plea. None of them talked for a while, the room silent save for the sound of Mahiru’s heart monitor. Finally, she spoke.
“Amane-kun,” she smiled painfully, stroking Amane’s shirt. “I can feel you.”
“Mahiru?”
“I can…hear you as well,” she choked out, pushing through the discomfort she felt with every word she spoke. “That is…cause for…celebration.”
Mahiru tried to sit up before she winced and lied back down. Amane grasped the hand against his chest and covered it with both of his hands. She turned her head towards Amane’s direction.
“Thank you…for surviving…Amane-kun,” she whispered, tears trickling through her bandages. “Even if…I had ended up…crippled…nothing would…matter if I…had lost you.”
Amane’s vision became blurry as his own eyes took on water. He paid no attention to the warmth sliding down his cheeks.
Muffled sobs echoed throughout the room.
He cursed his helplessness. He didn’t know how he could help the girl in front of him. Yet he knew that there was something he had to say at that moment before anything else.
“You too Mahiru,” he sniffled as he fought back another instinctive apology. “Thank you for surviving.”
Notes:
Waffle Trivia
Optic nerve damage is irreversible due to the fact that the nerve fibers in the eye don't have the ability to regenerate or heal itself. Due to this, diseases that target the optic nerves (such as glaucoma) are incurable with our current level of technology.
Gren10 on Chapter 2 Tue 25 Mar 2025 06:05AM UTC
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Mikechan100 on Chapter 2 Thu 26 Jun 2025 02:49AM UTC
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chemreal on Chapter 2 Fri 22 Aug 2025 10:19AM UTC
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ksh09 (Guest) on Chapter 2 Thu 02 Oct 2025 11:27PM UTC
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