Work Text:
Pairing: Rey/Ben (Star Wars Sequel Trilogy)
Setting: post-canon AU, in which Ben lived
She never had to ask what he was thinking about out loud. Rey knew that if she just knocked on the door of his mind, Ben would almost always let her in, to see for herself. Today was no different, and yet, what she saw beyond the delicate barrier around his thoughts made her brow furrow.
Her confusion caused a half-smile to appear on his lips as he glanced at her, sat silently beside him. Reaching for her hand, he held it tightly in his own.
“I was thinking about Kashyyyk. My father took me there once, for Life Day. It was the most incredible celebration, like nothing else I’d ever seen before or since. It was more than a holiday, it was... it was an expression of love and compassion...”
When he trailed off, eyes going back to the horizon, as the twin suns of Tatooine began to sink into it, his hand started to slip from Rey’s own. Shifting closer, she took a firmer grip of his fingers, let her head fall onto his shoulder too.
“I’ve been there too, for the celebration, and I understand what it means. Ben... you do deserve his forgiveness,” she told him softly. “Chewbacca loved you like family. He still does. He knows that Han understands, Leia and Luke too.”
“I know,” said Ben softly, visibly swallowing hard. “I just don’t feel like I deserve it. All this understanding. All the love and compassion that I saw on Life Day, it shouldn’t be for me, after everything I’ve done. I want to make amends, I’m doing all I can, but I don’t know... I don’t know if it can ever be enough.”
She so wanted to make him feel better, Rey wished she had the words or actions to do it. She knew what Life Day was, because she had experienced it herself, just as she said, but she had heard of it before then. Though it had started amongst the Wookies, it had spread further across the galaxy after the fall of the Empire, back in the day. So many celebrated in the way that Ben remembered, with gifts and feasting and joyful song, all of which she had seen first-hand, but now saw dancing through his mind too, in blurry watercolour images that faded one into another. Through it all, she was sure he had felt joy, but now the memories brought him pain more than comfort, because he was sure he no longer deserved any good feelings that remained.
“We should go,” she said then, his sudden movement causing her own, her head coming up from his shoulder as he looked sharply at her, a question replacing the tears that had been welling in his eyes. “To Kashyyyk,” she confirmed, “for Life Day. I imagine Chewbacca will be going, this year in particular. We will all stand before the Tree of Life and we will be grateful for what we have, instead of worrying over what we’ve suffered, or mourning what we’ve lost. I’m sure it will help. Help you to heal.”
Maybe she was sure because she had great intuition, perhaps it was only wishful thinking that she even suspected it might work, but even if it didn’t, Rey supposed it was worth a try. She so needed Ben to believe he was worthy of the love, forgiveness, and compassion they all showed him. She feared for his heart and soul, even more so than his mind, if he could not accept the light. If he let the dark drag him back down.
Something in his expression told her he felt her worry and wished it away. Raising his hand to her cheek, Ben urged Rey closer, kissed her cheek, her lips, rested his forehead against her own. Without words, he told her he appreciated her, that he loved her, that he knew he was safe as long as he had her affection and goodness to lean on, and yes, they would go to Kashyyyk for Life Day, because he believed her when she said it would help him to heal. She was always right about these things.