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The ceremony is beautiful, technically speaking. The streets are all decked out in red and white banners, and the smell of festival foods wafts through the air. Minato-sensei’s speech is inspiring.
It feels… wrong, to be here without Obito. He would have loved to watch this. He would have gotten all annoying about how that would be him someday. Kakashi misses him.
Rin has been by his side all day, eerily still. There’s a weight to all of her actions, as if she’s on the cusp of making some grand decision. Kakashi wonders if she misses Obito too, and then dismisses the thought. Of course she does- of course she’s feeling the loss just as sharply as Kakashi is.
“Do you want to go meet up with them?” Kakashi asks, turning to Rin.
“...not yet,” she says, words oddly slow.
“Oh, okay,” Kakashi says. He’s not exactly looking forward to the dinner party later tonight, but he’s not dreading it, either.
They wander the streets for a while, looking at all the little commemorative trinkets and snacks. Neither of them buy anything, even though Kakashi is kind of tempted by the dog shoes with Minato-sensei’s face on them. If they were better quality, he probably would have got them.
Finally, it starts to fade into dusk, and Kakashi pulls Rin towards Minato-sensei’s house. She seems oddly reluctant, stopping to read signs and look at art she’s definitely seen before. Kakashi lets her linger. It’s the least he can do.
Finally, they make it to the house. Kakashi slips in the door, toes off his shoes, and glances back- Rin is hovering in the doorway.
“Are you coming?” he asks.
“Y-yes,” says Rin. She smiles. “Sorry, just thinking,”
It’s the same smile she always has. Kakashi knows it well. Something about it seems… off, though, tonight, even though it’s the same. Maybe the problem is-
“Kakashi!” Minato-sensei shouts, and then pulls him into a back-breaking hug. “You guys are kind of late! Enjoying the festival?”
“Yeah,” says Kakashi, and he kind of means it too.
“Rin,” Minato-sensei says, releasing Kakashi. “It’s really good to see you, too.”
“Ah,” she says, eyes flickering between Minato-sensei and Kakashi. “Yeah… I’m glad to be here, too…”
There’s a weight to her words that Kakashi can’t quite interpret. The true meaning dances just outside of his thoughts, taunting him. Shouldn’t he know her well enough to…?
“Rin! Kakashi!” Kushina waves, joy radiating out into the air as she rushes over to say hello. “Did you guys get lots of good souvenirs?”
“Ah, no,” says Rin, laughing easily. “We just window shopped.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun!” Minato-sensei says. His eyes do not leave Kakashi’s face. Kakashi shifts.
“Oh? Are the brats finally here?” Tsunade asks, wandering into the entry-way. “Get them over to the kitchen so we can start eating! You’ve been holding up the party, you know!”
“Aw, screw off,” Kushina says playfully. “They’re young and in love, you know. They have to live a little.”
Minato-sensei giggles and Tsunade slaps him on the back. They must have gotten into alcohol while they were waiting for Kakashi and Rin.
“Do you guys want a drink?” Tsunade raises an eyebrow, noticing Kakashi staring.
“I’m good,” Rin declines, and Kakashi nods in agreement. The idea of being drunk sounds awfully appealing right now, but he’s always hated the taste of it, and it’s not worth choking something down when this is something that he should be enjoying.
“Suit yourself,” Tsunade shrugs, and wanders off.
“Don’t listen to her,” Kushina says authoritatively. “We just barely finished cooking, anyways. Oooh, but come sit down! I even grilled some eggplant for you, Kakashi!”
They migrate to the kitchen. The atmosphere is loose and warm. The room feels impossibly full, and every time Kakashi tries to count everyone, he loses track, but he knows there can’t be more than fifteen people mingling.
Rin stands at a distance, not quite tense. Her posture is loose, and not the faux-casual slouch some shinobi adopt when they’re off-duty. She’s legitimately relaxed right now. Her smile and the idle conversation she engages in back that conclusion up- but it’s just that something feels off. He can’t put his finger on it.
“Say, Kakashi,” Minato-sensei says. “How has Gai been?”
“Good,” Kakashi replies automatically, because Gai is always good. Rin is giggling at something Mikoto said, eyes crinkling happily. She seems normal.
“...Rin, huh?” Minato-sensei says knowingly, tracking his gaze.
“Something’s off,” Kakashi says. “She just seems…”
Minato-sensei frowns. “Well… she was close with Obito, too. It’s entirely possible she misses him about as much as you do.”
“Yeah,” Kakashi says quietly.
“I’ll talk to her later,” Minato-sensei says. “I’ll let her know that it’s okay to grieve.”
“...actually,” Kakashi says. “If it’s okay, could I do it?”
Minato-sensei studies him, and then smiles. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
Kakashi’s ears burn red.
Minato-sensei wanders off to reminisce with Jiraiya. Kakashi gravitates back to Rin, who is standing silently in a corner, smiling pleasantly.
“What do you think,” Kakashi starts, and then realizes that he has no real question to ask.
“Hm?” Rin says, tilting her head.
“What do you think about Minato-sensei?” he blurts out.
Rin pauses. Her eyes trace the room absently while she thinks about it, oddly serious.
“I think,” Rin says. She bites her lip.
“You think?” Kakashi prompts her.
She leans in closer to him, and a sudden sense of vertigo swells up over him. He’s standing on the precipice of- he’s about to find out-
“I think he smells weird,” Rin says quietly, but in such a derisive tone that Kakashi opens his sharingan just to make sure that it’s really her.
“...huh? Minato-sensei?” Kakashi asks, because even though that’s what they’re talking about, it’s just- it’s so surreal that he’s not sure he believes it’s really happening. He pulls his hitai-ate back down.
“Yes,” Rin says, her eyes darting to Kakashi. “Like musty cheese.”
It’s a weird thing for Rin to say- she’s been acting weird all night, but this- the way she’s cornered him, and is talking like it’s something only he’s allowed to hear- it feels like a test. He doesn’t know how to pass.
He locks eyes with her, and then-
Kakashi pulls down his mask enough to reveal his nose, takes a deep breath, and then re-covers it.
“Yes,” he says, very seriously. “I think you’re right.”
Rin smiles the same smile she’s been smiling all night. Kakashi doesn’t know what that means.
- - -
“By the way,” Kakashi says, as casually as he can while walking Rin home that night. “Um, me and Minato-sensei… we noticed…”
Rin’s face twists for a split second before reverting to its normal, calm state.
“It’s okay if you need time to grieve Obito,” Kakashi says, looking away from her. There’s plenty for his eyes to catch on- plenty of reasons not to meet her eyes. “You don’t have to pretend not to be sad for anyone.”
Rin barks out a laugh- a single, harsh laugh, and then freezes. Kakashi freezes. They both-
“I’m not pretending,” Rin says.
She’s lying. The hairs on the back of Kakashi’s neck all prick up- every single instinct he has yells at him, shoves his face towards the deceit, demands that he confront her-
“I’m not that sad that Obito’s dead,” Rin continues, too easily. “It was just- that’s what happens to us, right? Give it a couple years and I’ll be gone, and you’ll be gone… maybe not in combat, but something happens to everyone eventually.”
That was the truth. Kakashi squints at a shadow behind her- did he imagine the lie? No, it was so vivid… but…
“This is my house,” Rin says. She leaves without saying goodbye.
“Oh,” Kakashi says, after she’s already slipped inside. “Okay.”
- - -
“You and Rin are cute,” Kushina says, one day over lunch. “Be nice to her, okay?”
Kakashi scratches his cheek. “I think I usually am?”
Kushina rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean! It’s different when you’re dating a girl, you know-”
Kakashi chokes. “Kushina! No, it’s not- um, it’s not really like that…”
“No, no need to be ashamed!” Kushina insists. “But treat her well, okay? She deserves it.”
Kushina stares down into her ramen. Kakashi swallows. She and Minato-sensei are really, really good together. He’s really happy for them. Sometimes, though, he thinks about Ushuzio, and Kushina’s dream of becoming hokage, and-
Not that any of it’s Minato-sensei’s fault. Kakashi just thinks about it sometimes.
“She deserves good things,” Kushina repeats, and pushes away her bowl. “She’s been crushing on you for ages, by the way! I’m glad you’re finally doing something about it.”
“I’m not- I didn’t really think that’s what I was doing,” Kakashi says quietly. “I don’t really like her- like that.”
“...oh,” Kushina says, face falling. “Well, I guess- if you didn’t know, then-”
Kakashi stirs his ramen with his chopsticks, and tries not to feel like the worst human to ever live.
“I guess it might be for the best, anyways,” Kushina says, so quietly Kakashi can barely hear her. The ache of guilt in his chest does not soften.
- - -
Kakashi needs to find out the truth- he needs to know what Rin wants. Even if he can’t- even if he doesn’t love her like that-
He needs to know. Her odd behavior can’t be a coincidence. If it’s not Obito, then it must be him, and-
“Back when Obito first died,” Kakashi says, staring down at his hands. “You told me you liked me.”
Rin doesn’t respond.
“Rin?” Kakashi says.
“Ah,” Rin says, face blank. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Oh,” says Kakashi. “Um.”
She doesn’t elaborate.
“Why did you say it, then?” Kakashi asks.
Rin’s lips pinch together. Kakashi watches, entranced, as she coils in on herself, every muscle tensing tighter and tighter. Her eyes shine with an emotion he can’t quite name. Then, all at once, she releases the tension, and turns to smile at him.
“I don’t know!” she says, too brightly, too cheerfully. She’s lying.
Kakashi just doesn’t know why. Or about what.
“Okay,” he says, dropping the subject. He’s been paying close attention to Rin, lately. She’s like a finger trap- you can only get information about her out of her when you’re not trying to. It’s probably best not to push the matter. He’s not sure what it means.
- - -
“Oh, Rin!” Minato-sensei says. “Are you able to come to dinner this weekend?”
“No,” Rin says serenely.
Kakashi squints at her.
“O-oh,” Minato-sensei says, once it becomes clear that Rin doesn’t plan on elaborating. “Well, what about-”
“I’m actually very busy right now,” Rin says. “For the foreseeable future.”
“...okay,” Minato-sensei frowns. “But you- I mean, you haven’t been taking that many missions lately.”
“My dad died yesterday,” Rin says.
She’s smiling like normal. She’s-
“Oh,” Minato-sensei pales. “I’m sorry, Rin, I didn’t-”
“It’s okay!” Rin chirps. “I’ve got some family matters to take care of, though, so I won’t be around for a bit!”
“Right,” Minato-sensei swallows. “Let us know if you need any help, okay?”
“Okay!” says Rin, perfectly unaffected. Perfectly cheerful.
- - -
“Did your dad really die?” Kakashi asks.
“Nope!” says Rin.
That explains absolutely nothing.
- - -
Kakashi doesn’t fall in love with Rin. He’s almost completely certain that she’s not in love with him, though, so it’s okay.
He keeps watching her. The more he watches, the more wrong she seems. Her pieces don’t fit together quite right.
Rin stares at him a lot too, but always looks away whenever he notices. He wonders what she’s trying to find.
She smiles like she always does. Everything about her is exactly the same as it's always been- uncanny, because shouldn’t she have changed?- except for the fact that she’s being weirdly mean to Minato-sensei. None of the dots are connecting for him. He doesn’t understand her at all.
- - -
“Hey,” says Rin, swinging her legs. “Do you remember when you asked me why I confessed to you right after Obito died?”
Kakashi blinks. “Yeah.”
“I don’t want to tell you why,” Rin says. “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“Okay,” says Kakashi. He pauses. “Is it…”
“Maybe someday,” Rin says, voice strangely far off. “When I know I won’t regret telling you.”
“I’ll understand it,” Kakashi promises. “No matter what, I’ll understand.”
Rin studies him like she knows just how many oaths his bloody hands have broken. “Maybe.”
“I promise,” Kakashi says.
“It’s not really about what you think of it, anyways,” Rin says, shrugging. “I just don’t like the idea of you knowing certain things, is all.”
It’s not an accusation towards him, specifically- the words sit heavy and cold in his stomach, anyways.
- - -
“His handwriting’s so sloppy,” Rin whispers to Kakashi. “You think it’d have gotten better after he took the hat, since paperwork is all he does nowadays, but I think it’s actually gotten worse.”
“That’s kind of a mean thing to say,” Kakashi whispers back. She smiles at him, smugness radiating off of her.
“I think that they should send him back to the academy until it’s legible again,” Rin continues. “Take the hat away until he can write better than a six year old.”
“Um,” Kakashi says.
He doesn’t know why she keeps doing this. He really doesn’t understand it at all.
“Or maybe they could motivate him in other ways,” Rin leans back. “Chop off a finger for every spelling mistake?”
Kakashi stares at Rin. Her face is oddly blank, and her gaze is fixed on the ceiling with an odd intensity. When she catches Kakashi’s eye, her face folds back into something more presentable- a pleasant smile. It looks like all of her smiles, so it has to be genuine- she must be joking around.
“...right,” says Kakashi. He’s not sure he finds it funny.
- - -
Kakashi stalks into Minato-sensei and Kushina’s house late at night- he’s back from his mission earlier than expected, and all he wants to do is curl into bed and sleep forever. The two of them are in the kitchen, whispering, and he slides past them silently, not wanting to deal with them fussing over him-
“You can’t keep ignoring her like this,” Kushina hisses. “You may have let her to her own devices up until now, but she’s your student just as much as Kakashi is. She’s a part of this family.”
“Look, I’ve offered, but Rin-” Minato protests quietly.
“And Kakashi is any easier to convince?” Kushina snaps. “Look, Minato, I know that she’s stubborn, but all of us are. Drag her here if you have to. We have an extra room.”
“The baby…” Minato trails off.
“They can share with someone when they come,” Kushina sniffs. “I will not stand by while you disregard Rin, okay? If you aren’t going to do something about it, fill out some paperwork and let me be her sensei.”
Kakashi creeps away, stomach churning.
- - -
“Rival!” Gai shouts. “The most peculiar thing happened to me today!”
“Oh?” Kakashi raises his eyebrow.
“You are aware of Rin’s odd dislike of your sensei, correct?” Gai booms.
“Rin’s- oh, yeah, I guess,” Kakashi says. Her behavior could definitely be interpreted like that. It’s actually… almost definitely that. He’s not sure what triggered it, though. Is she mad at him for letting Obito die? No, that can’t be it- she seems okay with Kakashi, and it was his fault, not MInato-sensei’s.
“Well, today she bit him,” Gai says.
Kakashi blinks.
“That’s all!” Gai says. “I thought you should know.”
“Okay,” says Kakashi. Rin? Biting someone? It sounds so wrong- a jagged piece in the puzzle of her behavior that doesn’t fit with anything he knows about her. He’s been collecting more and more of those odd pieces lately. It almost makes him wonder-
- - -
“It was because I was mad,” Rin says, out of nowhere.
Kakashi looks up. “It was-?”
The confession.
“I had to choose someone to like,” Rin says, gazing off into the distance. “And I chose you, because I thought we wouldn’t have to talk.”
“Um,” says Kakashi. She was mad at him- for letting Obito die? But no, that’s not what she’s saying at all.
“I never really meant any of it,” Rin looks down. “I said it because- because that’s what people do. Fall in love. But I never did. So I pretended it was you. And then, when I was mad… well, that’s why. I was trying to hurt you. It turned out… you’re not so bad. I still don’t love you.”
“That’s okay,” Kakashi says, trying for earnest and falling short. He doesn’t-
“I was mad,” Rin says. “I was mad because- um- I guess I really don’t know why.”
“Oh,” says Kakashi.
“But I was mad. And I thought that it would… hurt you, if I did something like that,” Rin says. “So that’s why I did it.”
Kakashi hums. He’s not sure what to say- that doesn’t sound like you, maybe, but that probably wouldn’t go over well.
“Anyways,” Rin says, standing up. “I’ll keep…hanging around. And maybe I’ll tell you more things. But I’m not sorry about that. And I might do more things like it someday.”
“Okay,” Kakashi says quietly. He can live with that. He might deserve that.
- - -
“She’s trying hard, you know,” Kushina says.
“...Rin?” Kakashi says.
“Yeah,” Kushina sighs. “I can see it in her eyes.”
Kakashi’s always had a hard time finding much of anything in Rin’s eyes.
“She’s trying to be honest,” Kushina continues. “That’s what I think. It’s hard for her, though, so we need to be willing to listen.”
“...okay,” Kakashi says. “I’ll try my best.”
- - -
There is a bridge he has to cross, and he really is doing his best- but the gaps between what Rin says and what Rin feels and what Rin has always been widen by the day, and Kakashi doesn’t know how to start interpreting any of the strange things she says.
“Hey,” says Minato-sensei. “Do you think Rin’s okay?”
Kakashi glances up at him. Rin is sitting a few dozen feet behind them- out of earshot if she’s not actively trying to listen. She might be trying, though.
“I don’t know,” Kakashi says carefully. “But… I don’t think it’s really about Obito, whatever it is.”
Minato-sensei frowns thoughtfully. “Her father didn’t really die. I checked.”
“Mmh,” Kakashi says.
“Weird thing to lie about,” Minato-sensei adds. “...stay close with her, okay?”
“I will,” Kakashi promises, and that’s the third time someone’s asked him to protect her. He looks down at his hands, and-
- - -
“I really hate that Obito made you promise that,” Rin slurs over a bottle of sake. They’re splitting it, drinking straight from the bottle. Kakashi’s teeth hurt. His mask lays to the side, discarded about an hour ago.
Rin’s tongue is looser than ever. None of what she’s saying makes sense. Kakashi is trying not to drink too much, so that he’ll remember it all in the morning, and be able to puzzle it out then, but he may be past the point of no return already. He can’t tell.
“Because it’s like-” Rin hiccups. “It’s a thing you have no control over. And someday I might do something on purpose. Because I don’t like you very much.”
“Fair,” Kakashi says faintly, staring at the ceiling.
“Don’t be pathetic,” Rin scoffs. “It’s not your fault I don’t like you. I don’t like a lot of people! I’m just gonna- gonna do something about it, someday, and I’ll be really, really, happy about it, but it won’t be your fault…”
“I don’t wanna break my promises,” Kakashi says. His fingers are numb. “I made- three of them, Rin, I promises it three times-”
“BITCH!” she shouts. “Wait- Minato and Obito, but-”
“Kushina,” Kakashi counts off. Is he holding up four fingers? He can’t tell.
“I hate Kushina,” Rin sighs, slumping over. “Always- always poking around, worrying about me wrong. She thinks I’m like her. K’ashi, I’m too empty to be like anyone. That’s my secret, okay? You can’t tell anyone. I don’t have a person inside me. I’m just a- just a shell, and I don’t even want anything. It’s not fair.”
She kind of looks like she might cry. Kakashi reaches out to pat her hand.
“Maybe I’ll kill myself,” Rin says.
“Please don’t,” Kakashi says. “I’d be really, really sad.”
“Yeah,” Rin nods sloppily. “That’s why I might do it.”
- - -
Kakashi wakes up with a killer headache and no memory of the night before. He looks down at his hand and the barely-legible notes he’d left behind.
Hollow, the ink says. Kakashi can’t remember what it means.
- - -
“Hey, Rin,” Minato-sensei. “Could you pass the-”
She makes eye contact with him, and slowly and deliberately shovels the rest of the cucumber onto her own plate.
“...okay!” says Minato. He seems flustered. Kakashi eyes Rin. She smiles sweetly. It’s the same one as always- except that has to mean-
- - -
In the end, Kakashi decides to just ask.
“Is the smile real?”
“...no,” says Rin.
“Is any of it real?” Kakashi asks.
“...I don’t know,” Rin says, avoiding eye contact, and it’s not a lie. “I’m just- I don’t know.”
“Okay,” says Kakashi. She’s not lying, this time.
“...for what it’s worth,” says Rin. “I’m trying.”
“I kind of guessed,” says Kakashi.
“Not for you,” Rin says. “Mostly, it’s because… I don’t want to be remembered wrong. But I’m trying.”
“Even if it’s just for you, I’m glad,” Kakashi says. “I want to know you, too.”
“...I think the Rin who can smile and mean it is better,” Rin says quietly. “So I’m being very, very selfish. But I don’t care.”
“I really don’t mind,” Kakashi insists.
She looks away, and shrugs.
- - -
“Do you think she’s going to be okay?” Kushina asks.
“...I don’t know,” Kakashi replies honestly. “She’s trying to do… something. I don’t know if it’s…”
Kushina sighs. She leans back, eyes half-closed. “I don’t understand her.”
“...me either,” Kaksahi admits.
“I don’t know why she’s behaving like this all of a sudden,” Kushina says. “Minato… I mean, he’s not any different from how he’s always been. I don’t know why she started hating him.”
“Maybe she always kind of has,” Kakashi suggests. “Maybe… maybe it’s just that Obito died, and she realized that-”
Shinobi are born to die.
Kushina frowns. “Maybe.”
- - -
“Wow,” says Rin. “You’re really pathetic, huh?”
Kakashi startles, pulling his hands out of the water. He’s scrubbed them raw, and they sting distantly. They don’t feel like his hands.
“When’d you get here?” he asks.
Rin shrugs. “Just now. Minato-sensei was looking for you. Do you do this all the time?”
“No,” Kakashi replies instinctively. “Just- sometimes. When I’m not thinking.”
“I think that you were thinking a lot, actually,” Rin says sharply. “Just… not about watching your hands.”
Kakashi looks down. It’s- she’s not concerned about him, exactly, but she’s not behaving vindictively. He can’t figure out-
“Anyways,” says Rin. “Come on. Like I said, Minato-sensei wants you.”
“Are you jealous?” Kakashi blurts out.
She freezes, smile still fixed perfectly in place. Her eyes glaze over for half a second before snapping back to Kakashi.
She doesn’t reply- just walks out of his house silently, and that’s about all the answer he needs.
- - -
“Jealous of what, though?” Minato-sensei muses. “I mean, no offense, Kakashi, but- well.”
“...my skill?” Kakashi suggests, even though he knows that’s not it.
“Yeah… or maybe…” Minato-sensei trails off. “I guess she’s always kind of come second to you and Obito’s training.”
That’s not it either- or at least that’s not all of it- but Minato-sensei seems satisfied with it as an explanation.
“I’ll let Kushina train her from now on,” Minato-sensei decides. “It’s probably too late to get her to like me anyways.”
Kakashi nods. That, at least, is probably an accurate assessment.
- - -
“I wish I knew what you wanted,” Kakashi says.
Rin snorts. “Yeah.”
It would be so much easier to take care of her if he just understood what was wrong.
“Hey, you know,” Rin says. “You really don’t have to keep any of those promises.”
“What?” Kakashi reels back. “You-”
“None of them were talking about me,” Rin says. “They all like Nohara Rin. That’s… that’s a different person from me.”
Kakashi shifts. “Well-”
“Do you really think Obito would have loved this?” Rin snaps. “Look. He liked the smiles and the encouragement. Kushina likes that she thinks I’m like her. Minato- Minato just thinks that it’ll make you happy to take care of her. But none of them care about me. So you can just stop now.”
“... I care about you,” Kakashi says, very quietly.
“Well then, stop it!” Rin exclaims. “I’m doing this because I don’t like you!”
“Why do you hang around, then?” Kakashi fires back- a little too hard, a little too wild.
Rin flinches backwards. Her eyes are too wide, and her smiles wavers before her entire face crashes into unsettling blankness.
“I don’t know,” she says, no emotion in her voice. “I don’t know why I bother at all.”
She stumbles backwards, slumps against the wall, and slides into a sitting position.
Kakashi approaches slowly, crouching down in front of her.
“I really don’t know,” Rin says again.
Kakashi reaches out. Slowly, she takes his hand, grip loose.
“I really do care about you,” Kakashi says. “And- and it probably won’t mean anything, but-”
She stares at him, eyes empty.
“I can break the promises, if you want,” Kakashi says. “And- and do it for-”
Rin tilts her head. “Promise to break those promises?”
She lets go of his hand, and holds out a pinkie.
Kakashi blinks at it. “Yeah. Okay.”
“You have to be okay if I die first,” Rin says with an odd intensity to her words. “You have to remember me right, but you can’t be sad about it.”
That’s a promise that-
“Promise that you’ll break your other promises,” Rin demands. “And that you’ll stop caring.”
Kakashi has always been terrible at keeping his promises. Slowly, he curls his pinky around Rin’s, and breaks three other promises in the name of a fourth one that he will not be able to keep.
Rin knows it, too, probably. She stares at him for another moment, and then smiles the same smile she always has.
“I’ll never forgive you if you break that,” Rin says. He gets the feeling that he’s already done something that she’ll never forgive him for. He doesn’t know what.
“I really do care,” Kakashi says. A shinobi is born to die- the very least he can do is make the time before that a little more tolerable for her.
“I know,” Rin says, a note of finality entering her voice. “I know.”