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Rin slips between groups of people as navigates through the busy streets of Konoha. She’s gotten better at it over the month that she’s stayed so far, and she only expects to improve as time goes by.
It’s a Sunday, which means that she has time to seek out confidants she wouldn’t normally have time for. She doesn’t really like any of them, but they make her personas stronger, and they teach her useful things, so…
She’s deciding between visiting Danzo and Tsunade, today. Both of them are insufferable, but Tsunade seems to like her a person, which is grating because the powers that be basically came down and confirmed that she’s just a shambling husk hiding behind masks, but whatever. Tsunade doesn’t know about the powers that be.
Danzo, on the other hand… is equally annoying, but doesn’t seem to hold any affection towards her in particular. No, the price to pay for his guidance (and magical bonuses to the now physical masks she can swap out) is listening to him complain about his love life.
The thing is… she really needs help training. Shadows don’t just kill themselves. Danzo really does know what he’s talking about, when it comes to martial arts. She’s noticed a stark improvement every time she levels up his confidant.
It still might not be worth hearing about the things he talks about.
She’s already to the alley that he usually teaches her in, though, so she might as well give up the next couple of hours towards an effort to learn. Ugh.
“Danzo-sensei?” Rin calls, ducking under the worn-down sign advertising Danzo’s martial arts training.
The alley is, as usual, empty. Danzo flips his newspaper closed and grins at her, shark-like. “Rin. It’s been a while since you’ve visited. I thought you’d given up.”
“Just busy,” she shrugs off her bag.
“Hmm,” he says, and stands up. “Do your stretches, and then we’ll spar.”
“Got it,” Rin says. She starts running through them, and Danzo watches until he seems satisfied with her form.
“Lately…” Danzo begins, staring off into the distance. “I have been thinking about an old friend again.”
Oh, great, there he goes again. Rin continues stretching and does her best to ignore him.
“He was a dashing warrior,” Danzo says. “One of Konoha’s most skilled. His prowess in battle were truly unparalleled.”
He stops, and looks at Rin expectantly.
“Wow,” Rin says.
“Yes… he was someone to be admired,” Danzo says. “I find myself wishing he was still here today.”
“Mh,” Rin says, twisting around.
“We were… entangled, in some ways,” Danzo continues. Rin wonders if this was happening at the same time as his weird non-relationship with the mayor, and then internally kicks herself for being even a little bit curious about the bastard’s overly-convoluted love life. “And yet, we kept an emotional distance between us. I did not mourn his death. And yet, now, nearly a decade later… I find myself pondering on the matter.”
“Yeah,” Rin says.
“Hah… forgive an old man his ramblings,” Danzo says. “Let’s begin sparring.”
“Rank up,” Kaguya’s voice rings through her head. “Level four.”
Finally. Rin straightens up. “I’m ready.”
Danzo nods, and then they begin.
- - -
“The hierophant,” Kaguya reads, gaze fixed on Rin’s deck of tarot cards. “That’s interesting, don’t you think? I mean, that’s not quite how I’d expected you to see him.”
“Mm,” Rin says, digging around in that place by her heart where her masks sit. “Hey, you said Loki with Agidyne-”
“Loki with Maragidyne,” Kaguya corrects her. “I don’t think you’ll be able to do that for a while, so don’t bother-”
“No, I can do it,” Rin insists stubbornly. She’s been getting stronger- spending more time in the spaces inbetween than she probably should, and her personas show it.
The velvet room is a bedroom, saturated completely with blue tones. Kaguya sits on the bed opposite Rin's while Igor hovers in the doorway. The hallway behind him is dark and unending. Rin dislikes it the same amount that she tends to dislike anything, and for no good reason.
“If you insist,” Kaguya sighs, tossing her long hair behind her. “But on the topic of that old man- what about him seems fatherly to you?”
Rin stops. “What?”
“The hierophant,” Kaguya says patiently. “Represents teachings, tradition, beliefs, and obedience. It’s an arcana wildcards typically assign to figures they look up to.”
“I didn’t assign any arcana to anyone,” Rin says. “That was you.”
“All I did was reach into your heart and manifest your perceptions,” Kaguya sighs, shaking her head. “I put a name to them, sure- but you’re the one who saw him like that in the first place.”
“Danzo? Seriously?” Rin wrinkles her nose, and thinks back to their first meeting- he had stumbled onto her and Kakashi fighting, and had broken them up before slipping Rin a business card. She had taken him up on the offer for free lessons, even if they weren’t quite as free as advertised.
She runs it through her head again and again. She can’t find anything that would lead her to label him like that.
“You must have made a mistake,” Rin says. “Or you’re lying.”
“Believe what you will,” Kaguya sighs.
Rin fuses Loki. Sure enough, it inherits Maragidyne, just as she planned.
“Here,” Rin says, bearing the corner of her heart that Loki sits in to Kaguya. “Is that what you’re looking for?”
“...yep,” Kaguya says. “Rank 6, and all that. Don’t you think you’re speeding through this a little quickly?”
Rin shrugs.
“Well, next you need to bring me a Black Frost that’s at least level 65,” Kaguya says. “Chop-chop, Rin-chan.”
- - -
“Harder,” Danzo insists, and Rin kicks at his outstretched hand with everything she has. Her foot connects with a satisfying thud, but Danzo doesn’t flinch.
“I think I’m keeping too much of my weight behind me,” Rin admits.
“Hmm,” Danzo says. “Try leaning forward a little, then. Your pose seems fine to me, but it’s true that slight alterations will need to be made…”
Rin doesn’t… enjoy this, per say. She doesn’t dislike it either, though- when they’re just training. She very much dislikes listening to Danzo’s convoluted stories.
The fighting, though- she doesn’t mind that. If she could enjoy anything, it might be that.
“The other day…” Danzo says, seemingly lost in thought as he easily blocks all of her strikes. “My… friend and I had an interesting discussion. Rin, do you believe that the ends justify the means?”
“I don’t know,” Rin says, panting a little. “I mean- is there really such a thing as an end?”
“An interesting take,” Danzo hums. “One that comes from your heart, I can tell.”
As if! It’s just the thing that the mask Rin is wearing right now would say.
“Rank up,” says Kaguya. “Level 5.”
She’s very, very good at reading what Danzo wants to hear from her. She’s good at doing what everyone wants her to do. The proof is in the shattered masks she brings with her to the spaces inbetween.
“After we- ah, danced for a while,” Danzo says. “It occurred to me that he would not always be willing to sacrifice what is necessary. We have the same views on many matters- he simply lacks the will-power that I possess.”
The innuendo does not slip over Rin’s head. She grimaces internally while she thinks about what Danzo wants to hear from her.
“Maybe you could show him,” Rin says. “Willpower is something learned, not innate.”
Danzo pulls back to stroke his chin. “Once again, you provide a very interesting perspective. I believe… yes, there are ways to teach him. Thank you, Rin.”
Ugh.
- - -
“Level 10,” Kaguya says, sounding disappointed. “That’s that, I guess. Are you going to abandon me like the rest of your maxed-out links now?”
“Of course not,” says Rin. “You still have things I need.”
“Oh, well, that’s great,” Kaguya shakes her head. “Always good to be needed.”
“I mean, I’ll be out of your hair sooner rather than later, I expect,” Rin says, glancing at Igor. “This arrangement’s only lasting until the year’s up, right?”
“...right,” Kaguya confirms, voice uncharacteristically soft and sad.
“I bet that’ll be nice. You can-”
“Rin,” Kaguya interrupts. “I really, really like seeing you. You know that, right?”
Rin stares at her. That’s not true. She hasn’t been wearing any masks at all here. She’s been blunt, and slow, and empty, and Kaguya knows that Rin is just using her. That statement is objectively false-
Except. She reaches up to feel at the edge of her face. Her fingers catch on a faint crease-
Of course. She has personas for Strength, doesn’t she? The mask is closer to her face than usual, because Kaguya likes honesty, but she’s not herself, here, is she? She still chooses her words a little too carefully, still puts a little bit too much effort into being liked. Of course Kaguya thinks she likes Rin. She doesn’t really know her at all.
“I know,” Rin says, keeping her face blank. Kaguya stares at her for another moment and then relaxes, buying the lie.
She doesn’t know!
Rin’s heart skips a beat, and she can’t tell if she’s elated to have covered up one of the last holes in her facade, or angry that she bought it so easily.
Well. At least it’s nice to know that no mask is unsalvageable. Rin had laid herself far too bare the first time she woke up in this room- but she’s turned it around, shaped that persona into something usable. Someone likable.
Nohara Rin, the mask, is someone worth sticking around for. Rin makes sure that the mask is snug on her face, and decides to stay and talk a little longer.
- - -
“My friend,” Danzo says. “Is a very selfish man.”
“Hm,” says Rin, mouth pinched with concentration. “Wait, is this the mayor, or the-”
“The mayor,” Danzo says quickly.
“Okay,” says Rin. Damn it. A mis-step. He needs to know that she’s listening- he doesn’t want her to pay too much attention, though. She should know better by now.
“We had… a conversation,” Danzo says, a strange look entering his eyes. “Rin, do you believe that it’s selfish to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s sake?”
“Yes,” she says, a little too fast. The honesty burns at the back of her throat.
“Rank up,” Kaguya’s voice informs her, melodic as always. “Level 8.”
“Interesting,” Danzo says. “I think I am inclined to agree. My friend seems to think so as well, but that belief is not stopping him from acting- a common thread.”
Rin nods, and adjusts her pose, not trusting herself to say anything. She’s off her game today.
“I wish he would exercise more self-control,” Danzo says mournfully. “Although… that, too, is a selfish sentiment. After all, there is no real benefit to him living over any other candidate for the task.”
“Maybe we’re all just really, really selfish,” Rin suggests. “Maybe there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Even if we act certain ways… we still want things. Maybe it’s impossible to really be selfless.”
Danzo stares at her, considering the idea. “Maybe.”
It was the right thing to say. Finally. She suppresses a grin and shrugs.
- - -
“You know,” says Kaguya. “This isn’t exactly what the point of all of this is.”
“Hm?” Rin says, flipping through her planner.
“You weren’t supposed to use this place as a justification,” Kaguya says, exasperated.
“Justification for what?” Rin frowns. She needs to find a place to slot in an afternoon with Obito- he’s at rank 9, and the sooner she maxes out his link, the sooner she can stop spending time with him.
“For your weird ‘oooh I’m not a real person’ thing,” Kaguya says. “You’re always doing it. These bonds are real, you know. They wouldn’t level up if you didn’t feel anything.”
“...but I don’t feel anything,” Rin says, surprised. “I don’t like any of these guys at all. I’m just saying what they want to hear.”
“You-” Kaguya cuts herself off and pinches her forehead. “I can’t tell if you’re being obtuse or if you really don’t get it.”
Rin watches her carefully, considering her options. She’s already maxed out her social link with Kaguya, but sometimes, if she says the right things, Kaguya gives her new challenges, and lets Rin take her outside of the Velvet Room on walks. It’s a fine line to walk between stubborn and malleable, but Rin thinks she’s doing a pretty good job of it so far.
“Sorry,” Rin finally says. “I guess I’ll try to be more open minded.
Kaguya frowns. It was the wrong thing to say, then. “I wish you’d be honest with me.”
That’s right. Kaguya likes to think that she’s the only person who knows Rin. She doesn’t, not at all, but the masks that Rin puts on for her are a little closer to the way she actually is- just better.
Because the real Rin isn’t good enough, obviously. She wouldn’t have all these masks if she could just use her actual face.
- - -
Rin stares down at the pamphlet. Councilman Danzo plans suppression of Uchiha.
“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” Asuma says, leaning over the table. “One man, doing all that…”
Somewhere, deep in her heart, her Hierophant link twinges.
“It’s disgusting,” Rin says, because that’s what Asuma wants to hear.
“I can’t believe my dad never saw it coming…” Asuma continues, shaking his head. “Danzo’s been one of his closest advisors since forever. Just goes to show that you never really know a guy.”
“Mmh,” Rin says. This kind of accusation doesn’t really mean anything. She didn’t know that Danzo was involved with the city’s political circus in any way besides how often he was fucking the mayor, but somehow she’s not surprised. The way he talked…
He’s definitely not the only one involved. He’s just the one taking the fall for it.
“Some people just can’t be trusted to be honest,” Rin says, and the words taste sweet. She smiles up at Asuma, and Kaguya’s voice rings in her ears.
- - -
“It wasn’t just you, right?” Rin says, after they’re done training.
Danzo stills.
“You’re taking the fall,” Rin presses. “Playing at martyrdom.”
She only has one rank left unlock with the Hierophant, and she’s pretty sure she knows how to get it.
“...that’s correct,” Danzo says, voice unexpectedly tired. “I suppose you’re always been perspective.”
Rin sits down on an old crate, a silent invitation for him to continue.
“My old friend,” Danzo begins, settling on a barrel across the alley from her. “Who died, many years ago. He… he took a similar role. In the end, the shame grew too much, and he killed himself.”
Is he- is he talking about Kakashi’s dad? Why is this guy romantically entangled with all of her friend’s parents?
“Selfish,” Rin says.
“Indeed,” Danzo chuckles bitterly. “My role… well, I do not intend to fold. Everything I do is for the good of the village. I will continue to give everything I have to Konoha until I have nothing left to give. I will not cut my contributions short.”
“That’s good,” says Rin.
“Everything is necessary,” Danzo says. “Everything I do has to be done. I am one of the only people willing to do it- the Uchiha, you see, must be culled before they upset the balance of the village.Everyone knows this. Everyone agrees. We all worked together to put it in motion, and now it’s failed. There will be backlash- but if I take it, the rest of the village will be safe from it. The rest of them can try again.”
Rin doesn’t say anything. The thing is-
It’s probably not necessary, actually. But Danzo really, really thinks it is. A lot of people do, probably.
Is it still selfish…?
“You can’t tell people this,” Danzo says heavily. “It is my burden to bear.”
“I haven’t told anyone,” Rin reassures him, and then pauses. “I understand what you’re doing. I’m glad you can do what you need to.”
“Thank you, Rin,” Danzo says, and smiles. It’s the first time she’s seen him sincerely happy- her breath catches in her throat and something like disgust tries to worm its way up out of her stomach, but-
“Rank 10,” Kaguya says.
“Thank you for teaching me,” Rin says, and then she leaves.
- - -
She doesn’t ever visit Danzo again.
She’s the best fighter on the team, and her Hierophant personas are as strong as they’ll get. She never liked him, so there’s no reason to stop by.
“Hey, Rin,” Kakashi says, pulling her aside one day as the pile out of the spaces inbetween. “Can I talk to you for a bit?”
“Sure,” Rin says, absently poking at the Emperor bond that ties her to Kakashi. “What is it?”
“I guess I was just wondering,” Kakashi says. “Why you’re here.”
Rin tilts her head. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m- I’m trying to protect my friends, now,” Kakashi says. “Obito’s trying to get stronger, and Kurenai’s trying to find the truth about her parents, and- and everyone has something they’re working towards. But you’re the leader, and you have been the whole time, and I still don’t get why you do anything you do.”
She doesn't know.
“I guess it’s because people need help, and I want to help them,” Rin says, faux-determination lacing her words. It’s an answer tailored to Kakashi, and what he wants to believe about her.
He nods appreciatively. “You’re good, like that. Selfless.”
“Ah, well,” Rin says bashfully, rubbing the back of her neck. “I’m sure everyone else would say something similar.”
Kakashi shrugs, and walks away.
- - -
And when Danzo is executed-
“It really was martyrdom, huh?” Kaguya marvels. “All that talk and he ended up doing the most selfish thing possible.”
“Not really,” Rin disagrees. “There’s nothing to do that’s selfless. It’s selfish, all the way down. It’s all the same.”
Kaguya gives her an appraising look, which probably means that that was what she wanted to hear. “And here I thought you were in perfect agreement with him.”
“I say a lot of things,” Rin says. “I don’t mean them.”
“I suppose that’s true,” Kaguya says, an air of smugness about her. She likes to be special. She likes to think that Rin is honest with her, and no one else, but Rin doesn’t mean things. Any of it. She doesn’t.
“Do you want me to show you the movie theater?” Rin asks, swinging herself up off of the bed. “It’s been a while since we’ve gone out.”
“Well, if you don’t mind,” Kaguya says. Rin takes her hand.
- - -
His grave is plain.
Rin doesn’t even know why she bothered to come. It’s not like she liked him. It’s just- she was going to spend her afternoon with Mei, but then on the train she remembered that all she was getting out of her social links was stronger masks, and it hit her that even that doesn’t really matter, and now-
It’s raining, and she doesn’t know how long she’s been here. All she can do is stare at Danzo’s grave. She doesn’t even remember how she got here.
“Ah- excuse me?” someone clears their throat. Rin turns slowly and finds herself face to face with Mayor Hiruzen.
“Sorry,” Rin says dully, masks off, skin exposed. Her hands ache, too raw to be seen, and she pulls her sleeves down to cover them. “I’ll leave.”
“No, no, you’re more than welcome to stay,” Hiruzen says. “I was just wondering… did you know him?”
Rin stares at the grave. Pokes at her heart full of bonds that mean nothing.
“I guess,” she says. “He taught me martial arts. And complained about you a lot.”
Hiruzen startles backwards, slightly. “He… talked about me?”
He sounds oddly flattered.
“Yeah,” says Rin, flattening herself to fit what he wants before she can think about it too hard. “Every time I met with him, actually. It was kind of annoying.”
Hiruzen smiles. Rin remembers the newspaper- he had been the one to sign off on the order. The people demanded justice. He’s the selfish one, between the two of them, and now, here he is, the one to survive. The one to have to live with the aftermath.
“I’m going to leave now,” Rin says. She turns around. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get to be the martyr. I guess you were both pretty selfish in the end.”
She doesn’t see the face he makes in response to it, and she can’t bring herself to care.
Stupid old men.