Chapter Text
The first thing Viktor feels when he wakes up is the cold.
He feels it under his skin, in his bones as the cold bites into him with a thousand tiny sharp teeth. He almost forgot how it feels. To be cold, to have his body involuntarily shiver and go numb.
Then he feels his skin burn. Everything seems hot, but somehow still so very cold. His legs start itching as if someone was poking his skin with needles.
He can feel his legs again.
The realization sweeps through him as he gasps out, finally able to breathe. The air gets into his lungs sharply. It’s all wrong. It’s too much. He wants to cough but he can’t.
He missed breathing.
He missed feeling.
After all this time he spent trying to escape it, run away from it, he welcomes the pain now as if it were an old friend returning to him. Pain was all he knew all of his life so he thought getting rid of it would fix him. But it didn’t.
“You were never broken, Viktor.”
That’s what Jayce said to him when they-
Jayce.
Where is Jayce?
Viktor has a hard time opening his eyes. He feels like a child who is now learning how to use his body for the first time. The light is harsh and it's burning but he refuses to close his eyelids. He needs to find Jayce. Somehow he can feel him now. Maybe he always has.
He sees the sun above him and as he turns he sees the ruins and debris that surrounds him. There is dust everywhere. He coughs finally and it sounds just as ugly and rough as he remembered.
“Viktor?” He hears Jayce’s strangled voice coming from right next to him.
He looks into the direction of the sound and finds his partner on his right, laying there on the ground. He feels his heart squeeze inside his chest so much that it hurts.
“Jayce,” he breathes out and it's like he can taste his own voice.
Oh no.
That’s just blood. Metallic and bitter.
Human.
He rolls onto his stomach and that’s when he registers that the only thing he wears is his blue cape. His cape, that’s actually Jayce’s old blanket that he couldn’t part from. But that also explains why he feels so cold now.
He crawls to the other man in a way that probably looks desperate and pathetic but he doesn’t seem to find the will in himself to give a fuck about that right now.
He reaches out to grab Jayce’s hand and that’s when he notices that his own skin isn’t purple anymore.
His breath catches in his throat. He stares at his familiar pale skin covered in freckles and tiny dark moles. There is a cut under his thumb that he got when he cut himself on a rock when he fell while playing in the river as a young boy.
But then he feels Jayce squeeze his hand.
“Jayce?” He pulls himself closer to the man with a grunt, trying to look over him searching for his eyes. He needs those hazel eyes to look at him more than he ever needed anything in his life.
Jayce turns his head, his eyes unfocused but still searching until his gaze finds Viktor.
Those hazel eyes widen for a moment and Viktor isn’t sure what will happen next.
Jayce smiles then.
There are so many cuts and bruises on his face, blood trickling down at his left eyebrow, yet when he looks at Viktor he looks so soft and happy. His smile is so bright and wide, his entire face lights up and despite everything he looks so young again. No more than 24, just like when Viktor met him all those years ago.
“Hey,” he says with his damn sparkingling eyes and sweet crooked smile and suddenly Viktor remembers how it feels to cry.
The corners of his lips tremble and his eyes burn with tears. He forgets how to breathe again because he gulps the air down in uneven hiccups as he cries.
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out through hot tears.
He needs to lower his head because he cannot bear the other’s shining eyes on himself anymore. He doesn’t deserve the look Jayce bathes him in.
“V,” he hears Jayce’s warm voice.
He doesn’t know when Jayce moved but all of a sudden he is there, almost sitting, pulling Viktor up into his lap. The strong arms lift him up like he weighs nothing at all even though Viktor feels so damn heavy right now.
Jayce hugs him to his chest tightly, cradling his head with one hand, pushing their foreheads together and says his name again quietly.
Viktor sobs.
“It’s okay,” Jayce shushes him, rocking him gently without even noticing it. Their bodies fit together like the two last puzzle pieces on a board. It feels so right to be this close it hurts Viktor’s mind.
“I’m-I-I’m so sorry,” Viktor weeps holding onto Jayce as strong as his body allows him. “I didn’t…I-”
“I know,” Jayce whispers.
And Viktor knows that because they were in each other's minds not long ago. There are no memories or hidden feelings that they haven’t seen.
Viktor finds that he doesn’t mind that at all. He wants Jayce to know everything . He is so tired of hiding things from him, pretending like his feelings weren’t as intense as they truly were.
He alway thought he was the Moon and Jayce the Sun. And unlike the Sun, the Moon can’t create its own light, it’s only visible when the bright light coming from the Sun reflects off of its surface.
He learned to accept the fact that he can’t live without Jayce. Not like he wants to anymore. He longs to be in the light now instead of the shadows.
“We are alive V,” Jayce says and presses his lips to Viktor’s forehead; his beard scratching his skin leaving a pleasant tingling sensation in its wake. “We did it.”
Viktor realizes he cannot feel the hexcore anymore but to his surprise there isn’t a gaping dark hole in its place. It’s just gone.
Who would have guessed that it would feel this great not to have a constant sharp entity latch onto his mind, manipulating him and tricking him at every turn.
“We did it,” Viktor agrees quietly and his accent comes out heavier. Jayce squeezes him tighter.
They sit there quietly, in the ruins, holding each other close, breathing together evenly. Minutes pass before either of them speak.
“My leg hurts like a bitch,” Viktor says finally but he doesn’t sound mad about it at all.
Jayce lets out a laugh.
“Mine too,” he beams at his partner happily.
“You just wanted to copy me huh, Jayce Talis?”
“Always.”
Jayce’s grin is contagious and soon enough Viktor smiles with him.
“I will allow it just this once,” he nods.
“Oh?” Jayce raises an eyebrow. “You allow me to keep my injury?”
“Just this once.”
“How generous of you,” Jayce said with an amused smile dancing on his lips.
“I know, I know,” Viktor sighs in a way that's quite theatrical.
Jayce lets out an endearing snort. They fall back into their old dynamic as if no time has passed.
Viktor lets his head fall back against Jayce's chest; it’s quite the comfortable resting place.
“I like the beard,” he murmurs.
“Yeah?” Jayce shifts against him, straightening his back proudly.
Viktor is so sure that if Jayce were a dog he would be wagging his tail now like an excited puppy.
“Yeah,” he hums.
“I like your everything,” Jayce says easily and Vikor’s heart skips a beat.
He looks up at Jayce with narrowed eyes, not even trying to hide the blush spreading out on his cheek.
“Idiot,” he says in a zauntie language.
Viktor freezes when Jayce reaches out to gently caress his face with one hand.
“I love your skin,” he says and this time his words feel heavier than before. They imply something deeper. He brushes his thumb over a mole above Viktor’s lips. “I missed seeing these.”
Viktor furrows his brows but doesn’t dare to say a word.
Jayce’s finger travels down to his lips smoothly, swiping across it carefully. His gaze is intense and burning. Viktor wants to squirm under the warmth of his attention.
“I wish I realized sooner,” says Jayce and Viktor knows what he means.
Viktor parts his lips slightly and Jayce breathes through his nose harshly. He pushes his thumb down with a little more force.
Jayce leans down and Viktor tilts his chin up without even realizing.
“Can I?” Jayce asks quietly, his eyes searching Viktor’s.
“Yes,” Viktor says but it sounds more like a plea.
Jayce kisses him.
It’s gentle, almost too careful and so painfully Jayce.
Both of their lips are rough but somehow he presses his mouth against Viktor’s so softly.
Jayce pulls away briefly to look at Viktor who looks back at him through hooded eyes.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks breathlessly.
Jayce grins brighter than the sun.
“Nowhere.”
Jayce dives back eagerly, slotting their lips together with ease.
Viktor’s hand is on that beard in no time, running his fingers over it. He feels Jayce smile into the kiss so he takes the opportunity and swipes his tongue across the other’s lips.
Jayce makes a sound that’s almost a whine and Viktor already feels addicted to it.
Viktor doesn’t quite understand how but he doesn’t just feel Jayce’s lips on himself, he feels his entire being inside his own body now. It’s warm and vivid and quite overwhelming.
He gasps into the kiss but doesn’t pull away. He knows Jayce feels it too. He can feel what the other feels. They are connected.
The love Jayce feels for him is endless and perhaps more powerful than any magic in this world.