Chapter Text
Staring out the window, Kuramochi chewed idly at his lunch as he watched their class rep confess to someone else in their year in the shade behind their building. Chin rested in his palm, he thought about how he'd never been confessed to. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he looked like a delinquent, maybe it had something to do with being on the baseball team, everyone knew that they had no extra time. Teenagers were inherently superficial and Kuramochi supposed it had more to do with what people thought of him, with his reputation, than with his availability. When he thought about it, hadn't Miyuki been confessed to sometime last spring?
Just as he was thinking about the other, that snickering menace approached him, leaning against the desk in front of his, the phrase 'speak of the devil' had never been so apt. Kuramochi didn't look up, he simply continued to watch the awkward display between the blushing second years.
"Jealous huh?" Miyuki asked, voice chiming, irritating Kuramochi with how pleasant it sounded.
"Not really," Kuramochi muttered looking up at Miyuki as the people he'd been watching separated amiably.
"You don't look not jealous," Miyuki said, smiling down at him.
"I don't know," Kuramochi shrugged, reaching out his arms, stretching with a sigh, "don't you think it'd be nice, to have someone like you enough to build up the courage to do something so embarrassing or are you just completely heartless?" He pointedly raised an eyebrow at the other.
"Me, lacking a heart, if only I didn't have one so I wouldn't be pained by your hurtful comments," Miyuki said with mock hurt, hand dramatically held over his heart. It only lasted a second before he broke out in giggles, arm wrapped around his waist.
"I can't imagine a world where that's true," Kuramochi said, disbelief written all over him.
"Ouch," Miyuki laughed.
Kuramochi wondered if Miyuki was like this when rejecting someone's confession, wondered if instead the other let them down gently. He couldn't really picture it.
"I guess it's a compliment, but only to my face," Miyuki said, "people who fall in love with my face will be very disappointed with the rest of me," he smiled, like that was something to be proud of.
"You're practically a fraud, a con artist, a trickster," Kuramochi said, tapping his fingers against the desk.
"Did I fool you Mochi-chan?" Miyuki asked, smirking as he bent in half, holding his face inches from the other's.
"Maybe for a split second before you opened your mouth," Kuramochi said wholly not amused, brows furrowed.
"You're being extra mean today," Miyuki pouted, walking around Kuramochi and going back to his own desk behind the other.
Really, Miyuki had pissed Kuramochi off from second one, which was wholly unsurprising considering what the other had said that first day. The surprising part was how they'd become friends, not that he'd ever say that they were friends out loud. And really it had just happened, had just been happening the whole time without him noticing, as though they'd moved closer by a millimetre everyday and he hadn't realised until Miyuki was right in front of him.
"It's just what you bring out in me," Kuramochi smiled, turning around as Miyuki sat.
Kuramochi wouldn't admit it, but there was a part of him that felt like he was missing out on a fundamental part of high school life. Weren't you supposed to have someone confess to you or confess to someone? Stupidly, it was really all he could think about through the last periods of the day, watching the teacher write on the chalkboard without really seeing anything. Who would he confess to, who would he want to confess to him, no one came to mind and he figured if he wasn't ready to accept it then he probably didn't deserve it.
He couldn't afford to have such useless thoughts rattling around in his head during practice, there wasn't any room for them. So naturally he forgot about it, instead the burn of muscles and issues of timing were all he could think about.
It was satisfying really, to have something to focus wholly on, it mostly stopped him from having all those irritating teenage thoughts. It didn't last as long as he would have hoped though, white day had recently passed and a few people at dinner were still talking about the events. Kuramochi wasn't even sure that he remembered white day, his mind drew a blank when he tried.
Kuramochi wondered if he didn't have the time or the inclination to date someone now, when would he? Would he ever have something, or more aptly someone that he'd prioritise over baseball, he knew there was more to life than baseball. There really was so much more to life than just baseball, but between that and trying to keep a passing grade he couldn't fathom having a third responsibility.
If anyone was to confess to him he was sure that he would disappoint them at some time or another.
He didn't feel like doing extra practice after dinner, didn't feel like spending time in the louder areas of the school grounds. After going to the vending machine, Kuramochi found a quite spot and sat cross legged on the bank that overlooked one of the fields. Holding the can of drink to his forehead, Kuramochi sighed, really why was he thinking such useless things? He couldn't tell, sure he had the tendency to over think things, wind himself crooked around a meaningless issue. This was probably just that, but he couldn't seem to shake the disquiet.
Groaning, he threw himself backward, lying down upon the grass, feeling it scratch against the nape of his neck. He was far too young to be thinking that he'd never find anyone, that he'd never have the time for someone, Kuramochi would never be with anyone if he didn't think that he could give them the attention they deserved.
"Oh, have I stumbled across a corpse?" Miyuki's voice came, sharp and dancing on the edge of laughter.
"I'll turn you into one if you don't shut the hell up," Kuramochi barked, kicking out at Miyuki's leg.
"Could you really kill me?" Miyuki asked, smirking as he plopped himself down beside Kuramochi.
"You might push me to it," Kuramochi shot back, glaring at Miyuki as he opened his can of drink.
"Ah, some people would believe that," Miyuki said, leaning his head against his bent knees.
"I think everyone would believe it," Kuramochi returned.
"I don't," Miyuki murmured, "I know it's kinda lame to just come out and say it, but something's been bothering you right?" He asked, looking out and down at the field, at Sawamura and Furuya still tearing around it.
"Don't start acting like a good friend now," Kuramochi smiled, elbowing Miyuki in the side, "it's gross."
"It's not really like us is it?" Miyuki smiled back, it took up his whole face.
"Ahh, I'm just winding myself up," Kuramochi said, scratching at the back of his head, "I'll get over it," he added.
"You would call me an idiot for trying to carry all my burdens on my own," Miyuki said, as condescending as ever.
"It's not that kind of thing, it isn't a big deal, don't be so irritating," Kuramochi grumbled, pushing at the other's shoulder.
"If it's not a big deal then why won't you talk about it?" Miyuki asked, looking smug as hell.
"Why are you so irritating? What happened to you? Are you actually an alien?" Kuramochi said, reeling because he really did not want to talk about it, at all.
"Is it something embarrassing?" Miyuki whispered conspiratorially, hand curled around his mouth as he smirked.
Kuramochi ground his teeth before deciding to down the rest of his drink, standing abruptly he looked down at the other.
"You're such an ass," he muttered, turning to walk away. Sighing as Miyuki followed him, walking shoulder to shoulder.
"Come on, I'm curious now," Miyuki said, bumping the other's shoulder.
"Figure it out for yourself," Kuramochi snapped and instantly regretted it watching the way that Miyuki's face lit up, Miyuki held his chin in his hands and pursed his lips. Kuramochi figured that this was a bad idea, the other wasn't an idiot and would zero in on the real issue with ease.
"Ah," Miyuki said a few moments later, finger pointed to the sky, "the love confession during lunch," he said looking over at Kuramochi knowingly.
"Drop it," Kuramochi said, voice stern and low.
"I don't see why that would bother you," Miyuki said absentmindedly, "unless you like the class rep," he smiled and Kuramochi groaned.
"I'm not interested in our class rep," Kuramochi stated.
"I know," Miyuki returned, "so I don't get it," he said frowning.
"I've never been confessed to, so yeah I was kind of jealous," Kuramochi shrugged.
"Do you even have anyone you like?" Miyuki asked, narrowing his eyes.
"No," Kuramochi drew out, he knew this was stupid, he knew he was being utterly stupid but he just couldn't help it. "Don't look at me like that, you don't know what it's like, at least people like your face," he barked, watching Miyuki's frown deepen. "There's really nothing about me to draw people to me," he smiled weakly, making to turn for the bath house when Miyuki pulled him back by the elbow.
"Oi, you think it's easy to be labelled as nothing but a pretty face?" Miyuki asked, brows furrowed.
"Yes, I think it's incredibly easy," Kuramochi spat, "you're such an entitled son of a bitch, at least you're given the opportunity to disappoint people, at least they don't write you off the second they look at you," he snarled, this was getting out of hand.
"Maybe you should consider a different look Mochi-chan," Miyuki said, Kuramochi got the distinct feeling that he was being laughed at.
"Are you asking me to punch you?" Kuramochi said, brows raised and he just wanted out of the other's grasp.
"What you're talking about is a matter of appearance, wouldn't it make sense?" Miyuki said, tightening his grip on Kuramochi's elbow, like he could feel the tension in the other's body from there.
"That's not the point," Kuramochi growled, "don't you want someone that likes you for who you are?"
"I have you for that," Miyuki said without missing a beat.
The pair of them froze and stared at each other, growing redder by the second, Miyuki let go and took a whole step back. A foot of distance between them and still that didn't feel like enough.
"God you're so gross," Kuramochi laughed, tossing his empty can into a nearby trash can.
"I've never really thought about it," Miyuki said after a moment or two, "I've only got enough space in here for baseball," he smiled, tapping his temple with his knuckles. "Must be nice to be able to worry about other things," he added, unable to resist prodding at Kuramochi.
"So you're not worried about that pop quiz next week?" Kuramochi bit back, smiling sharply.
Miyuki laughed and then sighed.
"So you're worried that no one's ever going to like you for who you are?" He asked flippantly.
"Something like that," Kuramochi ground out.
"Why don't you date me then?" Miyuki asked, as though it wasn't incredibly embarrassing.
"W-what?" Kuramochi exclaimed, eyes wide as he froze again staring at the other.
"Let's pretend to date for a week," Miyuki said, "since you know, I actually like you for who you are," he shrugged. "We could do all that couple stuff," he added and it'd definitely sounded several kinds of wrong coming out of his mouth.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kuramochi said, disbelief heavy in his tone, brows riding high up his forehead.
"No, I'm not kidding," Miyuki said, looking as serious as Kuramochi had ever seen him.
"What am I supposed to say to that?" Kuramochi said, at a total loss for words.
"Would it really be all that bad?" Miyuki asked, gaze heavy on the other.
"When would we have time to do all that couple stuff? It's spring, if you hadn't noticed," Kuramochi said, pulling out every excuse he could think of just to worm out of this.
"I don't know, you seem to find enough time to slack off and play video games," Miyuki shrugged, cornering Kuramochi with his words.
"This is just weird, even for you," Kuramochi said, taking a step back away from Miyuki.
"It's a solution to your problem," Miyuki said, taking this far too lightly for Kuramochi's liking. Taking a few step forward, stepping directly into the other's personal space. "Are you gonna run away from me, Mochi-chan?" He asked, hot breath sweeping down and across Kuramochi's face.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that," Kuramochi bit out.
"You shouldn't be so blatant about trying to change the subject," Miyuki said, eyes dark from the lack of light as he stared down at the other.
"Tsk, have I told how irritating you are?" Kuramochi said, sneering, showing teeth.
"About five minutes ago actually, stop changing the subject," Miyuki said, returning everything that Kuramochi threw at him like an easily held tennis rally.
"Fine, if that'll make you shut up about it," Kuramochi sighed, looking away from Miyuki as he conceded.
"If pretending like I'm forcing you into this makes you feel better then I guess it's okay," Miyuki said, smiling like he was the victor of this situation.
"I'm gonna wash this feeling off my skin," Kuramochi grumbled, trudging off with Miyuki close behind.
Walking side by side again, the cool air bit at his hands and he was about to put them in his pocket when oddest sensation ran over his skin. Miyuki's hand grazed against his own, fingers curled around the space between his thumb and index finger. Instead of making another scene, Kuramochi let this one go.
After a moment though he regretted not just shaking Miyuki off. He was so acutely area of how sweaty he was, he wondered if this was uncomfortable for the other, if Miyuki thought his clammy touch was gross. Was he gripping too loosely or too tightly? Was his hand too hot or too cold? Why the hell was just holding hands with someone for less than thirty seconds so damn stressful?
Kuramochi considered it nothing short of a miracle that he'd made it to the bath house without having a meltdown, surely if something was wrong Miyuki would have said something, right, the other wasn't exactly known for sparing people's feelings.
Miyuki let go, moving to get out of his clothes and Kuramochi snapped his head forward. There was no way he was watching that, fake dating or no, he didn't want to inflate the other's ego. Strangely, as he changed himself, he was oddly aware of Miyuki's presence beside him. He'd never thought so much about how close someone stood to him, he had been so fixated on the distance between them and how easily he could reach out and touch the other, how easily he could sneak a look at the other.
He wanted to smack himself, wasn't it something that happened all the time, how likely was it that he'd already seen parts of Miyuki's naked body. Probably quite likely, he thought back to the countless times they changed together in the locker room or here even, tried a little too hard to figure out just how much of the other he'd already seen. He wasn't a pervert was he?
"Spacing out naked is dangerous Mochi-chan," Miyuki whispered into Kuramochi's ear, "you never know what could happened," he said and the other shivered.
"Pervert," Kuramochi spat, spinning on his heels to face the other and really wasn't that just a bad idea. Suddenly he was faced with Miyuki's broad and naked shoulders, he never thought he'd have to fight himself not to look another boy up and down before, or more accurately just down.
"Says you," Miyuki said, wriggling his eyebrows.
Kuramochi released a frustrated groan as he turned to make his way inside, sitting at a random stool. Washing himself diligently, doing his best to ignore the fact that he couldn't ignore Miyuki. Stool scraping as the other sat upon it, sound reverberating around the room.
Much to Kuramochi's chagrin, Miyuki rose first, walking behind him to get to the bath. There was one rule between the boys in the bath house, keep your eyes above the waist. For absolutely no reason, no reasonable reason at least, he wasn't so sure that Miyuki would keep to the unspoken rule.
"I'll kick your pretty teeth in if you watch me," Kuramochi said before standing.
"You think my teeth are pretty?" Miyuki asked smiling, Kuramochi levelled a hard glare at him, "I heard you loud and clear, no watching," he said, saluting the other.
Miyuki was true to his word, looking off to the side as Kuramochi approached the bath and lowered himself into the water. They sat there awkwardly silent for five minutes or so, until the next dilemma dawned on Kuramochi. Which one of them was going to get up first or would they both get up at the same time or would that be a completely new layer of awkward, Kuramochi found himself groaning again.
So even fake dating was awkward, huh? Was it that he was looking at things from a different perspective, thinking about things that he didn't usually think about. Kuramochi threw caution to the wind and rose from the water first figuring that it'd be worse if he was sat there staring at Miyuki's backside as the other got out, then that made him wonder if Miyuki was checking him out.
He desperately tried to ignore every nagging part of him and focused on just getting a towel, changing as quick as possible. Honestly this was so troublesome, it was bothersome to be so anxious about things that had never mattered before.
"What's the rush?" Miyuki asked, adjusting the waistband of his sweats.
"Wanna get in some gaming before I go to bed," Kuramochi mumbled, eyes slowly crawling up Miyuki's front. Just like the other's face it wasn't terribly hard to look at.
"Want me to join you?" Miyuki asked, pulling on his shirt.
"Am I the girlfriend here?" Kuramochi spluttered, really being chased around like this was the weirdest kind of headache.
"Kuramochi, you're a boy," Miyuki said, mock serious tone as he fought a losing battle against a fit of laughter. Bent double and holding himself, he let it rattle out of him, wheezing out the terrible noise.
"That's not what I meant," Kuramochi ground out, standing there just watching the other.
"Yeah but what you meant was so stupid that I just couldn't help myself," Miyuki forced out, recovering from his fit, wiping his eye with his finger.
"I guess you're right," Kuramochi sighed, "walk me to my room like a real fake boyfriend," he said, leaning against the wall as he waited for Miyuki.
"Yes, sir," Miyuki smirked, regaining control of himself.
They held hands again as they walked back to the dorm, it was a bit easier this time. The silence between them was still pretty awkward though, the atmosphere just seemed to get worse and worse as they got closer to Kuramochi's dorm room. Maybe it was the anticipation of separating, an impending departure that had him kind of anxious. Really how odd, were they supposed to spend all their free time together? If Miyuki didn't bug the hell out of him, he thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
"Well," Miyuki said as they stopped in front of the door, looking like just saying that was painful.
"Yeah," Kuramochi drew out, fingers still entwined between them, he wriggled his fingers enjoying the sensation.
"Are you waiting for a good night kiss?" Miyuki asked smirking, looking pretty pleased with himself as he said it.
"You'll have to wait a lifetime to steal my first kiss," even as he was saying the words Kuramochi wished he would just stop, horror dawning on him as he spoke.
"You don't have to look so horrified, it's not like I thought you'd been kissed you know," Miyuki said, almost condescending.
"Oh yeah, it's totally obvious, stupid me for forgetting that," Kuramochi said, forced laughter and all. He tore his hand from the other's as he opened the door, "see ya," he said smiling as he slammed the door in Miyuki's face.
Sawamura wasn't back yet, neither was Masuko. The room was empty and Kuramochi didn't have anything to focus on, he climbed into bed and pulled out his hand held console. The distraction didn't last long though, he couldn't find the energy to really care about it. Lazily packing the console away, he flopped back down on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. He had over reacted, Kuramochi knew how obvious it was that he had no romantic experience whatsoever, but it really was a sore spot for him. A sore spot that he was awkwardly fumbling through, like teenagers always did.
He'd been dumb, done something dumb, were things going to be even more awkward tomorrow? Maybe he'd forget about all this fake dating crap and ignore Miyuki long enough for the other to get it, that was probably the best thing to do anyways. This whole 'pretending to be dating' thing was really stupid anyway, it was a joke, they were just messing with each other.
His cell phone buzzed beneath his pillow, he fished it out and flicked it open, held it above his face as he read the message.
I'm sorry about that, you're really touchy about these sorts of things ne? I never thought you'd be the kind to take those things so seriously. See you tomorrow, good night.
Miyuki had messaged him, Kuramochi blinked at the words, practically blanking Masuko and Sawamura as they entered the room. Was he blushing, was he being completely disgusting? He reread the short message several times over before replying, tapping out his message with his tongue held between his teeth.
You'll have to do better than that, I deserve something for suffering through your presence. Don't dream about me, good night.
He shut his phone and thrust it back under his pillow, closing his eyes, he tried to think of anything but Miyuki Kazuya.