Chapter Text
October, 2024
Donghyuck was exhausted. He had been in meetings nonstop since 9 AM and hadn't stepped outside or seen the light of day. At least it was a Friday.
Right now, he was fantasising about taking a shower.
He caught himself contemplating his existence, but he knew he was not actually mad about his lifestyle. He earned a good sum of money, had a (mostly) nice roommate, and got to enjoy weekends and vacations with his friends. He may just be a regular 24-year-old, but he didn't want to be more.
"Hey, Haechan, did you check your emails yet?" a voice said, suddenly emerging from behind him, interrupting his train of thought.
"Oh, hey, Jungwoo-hyung! No, I haven't, should I be concerned about something?", Donghyuck answered.
"Nothing that serious,” Jungwoo said, swatting Donghyuck off with that infectious smile of his. “I'm sure you're already aware that we have the meeting with the Canadian investors next Friday. To ensure we win them over, Yuta-hyung's team put together a little profile study on our investors. I have already emailed it to you, make sure you check it out!'
Donghyuck was well aware of the meeting; he had been anxiously preparing for it for a while. This meeting could give their company, Kwangya Global, millions of dollars in funding, potentially enabling them to expand to the North American market and recover from last year's economic pitfall.
So yeah, no pressure.
"Thank you, hyung, I'll make sure to do that as soon as I can," Donghyuck replied with a smile.
As he made his way to his car, Donghyuck wondered how the hell Yuta managed to get his hands on the Canadian Investors' profiles. Donghyuck had been trying to get a hold of them for a while now to no avail.
Throughout the journey home, the meeting was all Donghyuck could think about. He took pride in what he did, and he did marketing extremely well. But he was also a hard worker, and especially since there was so much at stake, he couldn't help but feel a little intimidated.
Something about this meeting in particular instilled some sort of irrational fear in him. At least he could discuss it with Jeno over the weekend.
It was 8 PM, and Donghyuck had finally made it to his front door in one piece.
As he fumbled for his keys, he could hear vague, hushed noises coming from inside the house.
He sighed. Jeno was over for the weekend again. He almost regretted introducing his coworker to his roommate, but seeing how in love they were, he didn't mind Jeno staying over. He was still contemplating making him start paying rent, though.
Donghyuck's life hadn’t been easy when he moved to college. He was so grateful to have had Jaemin as his roommate. Jaemin was super weird and often too quiet, but he could read Donghyuck as no one else could. They eventually bent to each other's weird schedules, and it was only natural for them to continue living together after graduation.
As he entered, Jaemin and Jeno suddenly stopped talking and turned to look at Donghyuck in shock.
"What, were you guys so caught up in each other that you forgot who I am?" Donghyuck remarked sarcastically.
To that, instead of rolling his eyes like he usually did, Jaemin averted his gaze. Jeno was awkwardly smiling at him. Something was off.
The couple was huddled together on the couch. Donghyuck was used to walking in on their horrifying displays of affection on a daily basis, but today was different. They weren't all over each other; they seemed to be having a civil conversation before he walked in.
Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows.
"Okay, who's gonna tell me what's wrong?"
Instead of answering his question, Jaemin just pointed at the table.
"I made dinner. We should eat." He was still averting his gaze.
Donghyuck walked towards the table and took a peek at the dishes. Jaemin had the mini grill laid out, and he had prepared some samgyeopsal.
Donghyuck was confused. As an intern practising to become a surgeon, Jaemin barely had time to cook, let alone make elaborate dishes for all of them. Even though he was an amazing chef, on most days, it was Donghyuck who cooked or brought take-out for the two of them.
Was there a special occasion he was forgetting?
Jeno came to sit across from him with a wide, unnatural smile on his face, and Jaemin stood behind Donghyuck, massaging his shoulders.
‘This is so fucking weird,’ thought Donghyuck.
Shrugging away from Jaemin's grip, he eyed both of them.
"Okay, guys, out with it. You're spooking me."
Jeno's smile was fading slowly. He and Jaemin exchanged a glance. They seemed to look... scared? Donghyuck felt uneasy.
Jeno met his gaze.
"Haechan, did you take a look at the email Yuta-hyung sent us yet? About the Canadian Investors?"
Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows.
"The investor profiles? No, not yet, why? I was planning to look at them tonight."
What could be in the email that got Jaemin involved, he didn't know.
Jaemin was feeding him the grilled pork now.
"I think you'd better look at them after dinner", Jeno said as Jaemin placed a piece of pork in Donghyuck's mouth.
That weird, irrational dread was coming over Donghyuck again.
He pulled out his phone immediately to open his email.
This was killing him.
Jaemin, however, didn't let him go through it. He grabbed his phone from his hand, all while glaring at Jeno.
“Jeno, I told you you're gonna scare him. Let me handle it," he said as he dropped down next to Donghyuck.
Donghyuck had reached his limits now.
"Care to tell me what you two are on about, meddling in my business while keeping me in the dark?"
Jaemin smiled at him, but it looked kind of sad.
"First, tell me if there's any chance you can pull out of this meeting," he asked.
"The very important meeting that we have been anticipating for months? The same meeting that could make Kwangya extremely successful? The same meeting with millions of dollars at stake?", Donghyuck asked, incredulously.
Jaemin winced.
"...Yes."
"Not even if someone died.”
He looked at the expressions on the couple's faces.
"...Did someone die?" Donghyuck asked.
"No!"
"Then why are you guys acting so fucking weird? You're acting like I'm going to walk towards certain death, not a meeting room."
Jaemin sighed.
"Haechannie, I'll cut to the chase. Jeno told me there was someone named... Mark Lee in the meeting list. Now, I know that it's not an uncommon name. It's probably not your Mark because you told us last you heard, he was in Singapore, right? I just feel like if you meet someone with that name...I don't know…", he said, holding Donghyuck's hand.
Donghyuck's world paused.
Canadian Investors, Mark Lee...No, no, this couldn't be happening.
Suddenly, the reason for his irrational fear became apparent to him. In that moment, nothing felt real.
With slightly trembling hands, he took his phone back from Jaemin and scrolled through his emails.
Investors.docx. He opened the file.
Donghyuck kept scrolling through the list of unfamiliar names and faces until he reached the letter M.
'Mark Lee, 25. Vice President of Investments, Neo Global Canada.'
Next to the words was a picture of an unsmiling man with long-ish black hair, sharp cheekbones and a perfectly angled nose.
Donghyuck's heart stopped.
It's been seven whole years since Donghyuck last saw Mark. Seven whole years, and he looked even more devastating than he did before. Seven whole years, and Donghyuck absolutely hated how his heart would not calm down, beating anxiously at just the thought of having to meet his first tragic love again.
He had always known he would have to face Mark again someday. He still hadn't received any closure, after all.
Even though he had moved on in life, even though he had changed from the Donghyuck that Mark knew to the Haechan that everyone he cares about now knows, he never wanted it to happen like this. If they lost an investment opportunity because of something that happened seven years ago, he would never be able to forgive himself.
Donghyuck didn't realise how long he had been sitting there, trembling in shock, until he felt Jeno squeeze his hand with a little too much force. Jaemin was still sitting next to him, running his hands through his hair in calming motions. Donghyuck didn't have to look up at them to read their expressions to tell that they knew. Anyone would have known by the way he reacted.
He hated this. He hated this so fucking much.
Jaemin was planting a kiss on his forehead. "Are you okay, Haechan?" he asked.
He knew how shaken he must look for Jaemin to be acting like this. He loved Jaemin, but they were always having petty fights every day, and they were never this genuinely affectionate with each other unless it was really, really serious.
Donghyuck forced himself to calm down. "I will be. I have to be", he whispered. "Mark ruined my sanity for so many years, I'm not letting him take this away from me, too.", he said.
Jeno was still squeezing his hand with slightly superhuman force. Donghyuck was grateful for the pain at that moment. "Don't worry, Haechan, I will be there. I will protect you," he said
Donghyuck let out a weak chuckle. "You guys are acting as if I'm going to war, not meeting someone from the past who is practically a stranger to me now. This is an important business meeting, remember?"
"You sure look like you've been summoned to war," Jaemin said instinctively.
Donghyuck was honestly a mess. He couldn't let it show. For years, he had trained himself to put on a front, to not let it show when he wasn't in control of his heart. Now, more than ever, he needed to put it to use.
"Stop worrying about me. Besides, you know me. You know I won't make it easy for him. I am going to make him very uncomfortable. It's what I do best!" Donghyuck said, in his typically chirpy voice, even though his heart was not in it. He wanted to believe the brave front he was putting on.
"There's the Haechan we know and love," Jaemin said, although he sounded solemn. Donghyuck knew Jaemin could see right through him. He was still clinging to him.
But at the end of the day, Donghyuck was a survivor. He once believed that Mark was what made his world spin. He used to see Mark in every early spring flower, in every star. Mark being around used to be second nature to him, as natural as breathing. But now, seven years without Mark, the world spun around the same, the early spring flowers still had the same fragrance, and the stars shone just as brightly. Nothing would change; he would make sure of it.
That night, Jeno and Jaemin crawled into bed with Donghyuck. He didn't protest. They huddled together, Jaemin grossing them out by telling them in gruesome detail what he saw in the operating room that day. Their presence kept Donghyuck grounded, and at least for a little while, he didn't have to think about the coming week.
March, 2007
It was early spring when Donghyuck first met Mark.
Mark's parents had just moved to Korea from Canada, bringing their two sons, 13-year-old Johnny and 8-year-old Mark, with them. Johnny was funny and popular and immediately clicked with the neighbourhood kids, especially with Donghyuck's older brother, Taeyong, who was also 13.
One day, Taeyong brought Johnny and Mark over to play. Donghyuck was sure that his older brother only invited Mark too because he was sick of having to entertain Donghyuck when Johnny came over. Taeyong was the best brother in the world, so Donghyuck forgave him.
Mark was a shy kid, unlike his older brother Johnny. He was technically older than Donghyuck, but it didn't feel that way, maybe because Mark barely ever said a word to him. He looked solemn, and he was always reading something in a corner.
That day, Donghyuck was getting tired of bothering Johnny and Taeyong and decided to go bother Mark instead.
He was about 90% sure that Mark was some sort of English-speaking alien who was sent to earth on a top-secret mission, and that's why Mark never seemed interested in Donghyuck or his best friends, Renjun and Jisung. They had tried speaking to him before, but Mark just looked confused and would only say an occasional polite 'yes' or 'no'.
"I think he is an alien", Jisung had said.
Donghyuck had watched some sci-fi movies with Jisung, and his theory seemed to make sense.
"Maybe he just doesn't like us?" Renjun had chimed in.
That wasn't possible. There was no one in the world who didn't like Donghyuck.
"No, I'm telling you, he's an alien. I'll bring proof when he comes to my house tomorrow!" he had proclaimed. Jisung and Renjun had already resumed playing, forgetting about the conversation and Donghyuck entirely.
That brought Donghyuck to the present day, sneaking up on Mark as he was reading one of his books in a corner again. The title was in English, and Donghyuck couldn't understand it, but he was sure it was some alien-mission-related information. He leaned in to take a better look. Mark noticed him, but he either didn't mind or didn't care.
To Donghyuck's surprise, the content was all panels. It was a comic book. In fact, it was a comic book he recognised very well.
"Spider-Man!" He exclaimed.
To this, Mark suddenly turned to look at him, his face transforming into a gigantic smile.
Donghyuck was shocked. Mark Lee was capable of smiling?
His alien theory was failing.
"You know Spider-Man?" Mark asked excitedly.
"Of course! He is my favourite superhero!", Donghyuck replied, still not believing that Mark was talking so excitedly. In fact, Donghyuck was sure this was the most Mark had ever said.
"Mine too! I want to be him when I grow up!"
Donghyuck looked at him in disbelief. Mark was getting the grammar all wrong, but he was speaking to him. He felt oddly accomplished, as if it were an achievement to get Mark to talk.
He didn't want this moment to end.
"Do you want to see my Spider-Man collection? It is in Korean, though, you might not be able to read it", Donghyuck said.
But Mark had already gotten up, practically bouncing with excitement. He was grinning widely. "Yes!" he exclaimed.
Mark's smile was infectious. Donghyuck didn't understand why, but he felt like it was his duty to make him smile forever. He found himself grinning along. He grabbed Mark's hand and ran to his room.
Mark was so fascinated by his collection. He was trying to read the words out loud, but was very slow and struggled with a lot of characters. But it was obvious that he wanted to learn.
Huh. Maybe Donghyuck was wrong all along. Mark wasn't some alien; he was just a kid who came to a new country and barely spoke the language. If Donghyuck were suddenly put in Canada among English speakers, he would've probably been shy, too.
Donghyuck started teaching Mark how to read the words. Each time Mark got a word right, his eyes lit up and started twinkling like actual stars. Donghyuck had never met someone who piqued his curiosity as much as Mark did. He felt satisfied being Mark's teacher, and he was extremely proud every time Mark got a word right because of him.
Hours passed. It was time for Johnny and Mark to go home.
"Please, Mom, can't they stay for a bit longer?" Donghyuck asked his mother. He didn't want Mark to go just yet, not when they had made so much progress.
"Their mother will be worried, Hyuckie. You usually can't wait for Mark to leave. I'm happy you've become friends. But you can continue tomorrow," she said.
Dejected, Donghyuck had to say goodbye to Mark. He let him borrow a few of his comics so that Mark could practice reading Korean at home.
Slowly, it became their ritual. Mark would come to Donghyuck's house almost every day, and they would read comics together.
Donghyuck was shocked by how much Mark improved in just a few weeks' time. He realised that Mark was quite outgoing and talked a lot when he was comfortable. He would tell Donghyuck about his friends in Canada, what school was like there and how he enjoyed writing and wanted to write a superhero book by himself when he was all grown up. Donghyuck would teach him the names of Korean snacks, popular games among Korean kids and the customs they followed here.
It was time for the new term to begin.
Much to Donghyuck's joy, Mark was enrolled on his class despite being a year older so that he could adjust to learning everything in Korean. They sat next to each other and were slowly becoming known throughout their grade as inseparable best friends.
They were so comfortable with each other now that Donghyuck's favourite pastime was getting on Mark's nerves, an honour he only reserved for close friends. Mark pretended to be annoyed, but Donghyuck saw him control his laughter, which just made him want to do it more.
Mark had become a regular at their playgroup now.
Renjun and Jisung got along with him almost as well as Donghyuck did. Once his shyness faded, Mark became a natural leader. He took care of Jisung and bandaged his wounds while scolding him softly when he did something stupid, fixed Renjun's outfits when he performed a disastrous fashion experiment and comforted Donghyuck whenever he got into a petty fight with a neighbourhood kid. Mark became the pillar they all leaned on.
Mark was super nerdy, and it wasn't only the comic book obsession. He knew almost every flower's English name, and he would often bring them flowers that reminded him of them.
Since it was spring, He brought Donghyuck some beautiful yellow flowers that were very common in spring. "You remind me of sunflowers, but since it's spring, I could only find these! I don't know the Korean name, but the English name is Forsythia".
Donghyuck didn't know why Mark associated him with the colour yellow. But ever since then, whenever their teacher would ask them for their favourite colours, he always said yellow. His favourite flowers were now sunflowers and forsythia.
Donghyuck realised that Mark loved jokes that no one else would laugh at. The type of jokes his dad said. So every time his dad made a horrible joke at the dinner table, Donghyuck would remember it and recite it to Mark. Mark would always think it was the funniest thing in the world and would immediately erupt into fits of laughter.
Mark's weird, pitchy laughter quickly became Donghyuck's favourite sound in the whole entire universe.
June, 2012
On his twelfth birthday, Mark gave Donghyuck a beautiful yellow guitar with a teddy bear plushie charm on it. "It reminds me of you", he said, pointing to the sunflower on the bear's hat. Donghyuck's heart was thumping wildly, and he didn't understand why.
March, 2013
Mark told Donghyuck that he would have to transfer to a Catholic middle school. They would still be close, he promised. Donghyuck smiled at him and squeezed his hand, trying to prevent the hurt he was feeling from showing on his face.
June, 2015
"Would you love me instead of her if I were a girl?"
October, 2024
Donghyuck woke up in cold sweat. Jeno and Jaemin were still sleeping. He carefully got out of bed so that he wouldn't wake them up and entered his soundproof studio, where he often went when he had nightmares about the past or bad days.
Today was especially bad. Being reminded of Mark seemed to have opened old wounds in his subconscious mind. He kept dreaming of his childhood, about moments with Mark, which he hoped he could bury in the past forever.
Exhaling, he picked up his guitar and sang an old ballad his grandmother had taught him before she passed away.
Finally calm, Donghyuck decided to build a plan to get through this meeting. He had a week to prepare, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let Mark Lee ruin his future.
The eyes of the bear plushie on his beautiful yellow guitar seemed to glisten in agreement.