Work Text:
Satoru figures it out in what he can only assume is the most ridiculous way ever.
He’s jerking off kinda idly and not really getting anywhere. He almost stops before he decides maybe it’s just that the video is boring. He backtracks and scrolls around, clicks on a threesome video at random. The plot part sucks so he fast forwards, half paying attention, hits play when the girl is sucking one guy off, jerking the other one. The camera pulls back to show the two guys making out, like really into it. Satoru’s into it too– he loves making out. However, because Satoru’s mind can never just be chill, he immediately starts thinking about Suguru making out with a guy at the bar a couple months ago. Which, like, okay. Suguru is not usually what Satoru thinks about while jerking off but, aside from Haibara and Nanami, he hasn’t really seen any guys making out recently. He doesn’t want to think about Nanami and Haibara with his hand on his dick. Especially because Nanami would, like, know somehow. Give him that dead-eyed angry look that Satoru so wouldn't deserve. The mind is a strange thing, he can’t help it.
Suguru though. Suguru had seen Satoru watching—not creepily just, like, looking— and smirked, eyebrow raised, all you see something you like? Satoru had, honestly. He’d been, still is, pent up. He’s not had time to fuck around with anyone for a long time, hasn’t been particularly interested in anyone either, and Suguru seemed like a good kisser, intent with it, tugging at the guy’s lower lip with his teeth. Suguru had winked as he left and Satoru gave him a quick bro pound for pulling a hottie or whatever.
So yeah. Image association. Hot guys making out means he thinks of Suguru making out with a guy.
Satoru watches the guys kiss while he works his foreskin over the head of his dick. Obviously the video’s highlight is not men making out so that stops pretty quickly. He tries to get into it when the fucking starts in earnest, but Suguru’s hand tight on that guy’s jaw to angle him as he licked into his mouth flashes through Satoru’s head. He shifts. The video is one of those, like, too high production ones too. The kind where everyone’s making sounds that Satoru is pretty sure are fake and it turns him off and then he starts thinking about how much of porn is fake and then he gets worried someone’s been coerced into it and then he gets concerned about the ethics of porn in general, all of which is a huge boner killer.
He palms his balls as he navigates back to a more trust-worthy ethical site, if such a thing exists. Not because of the people making porn, he respects sex-work. He’s not sure he trusts website developers though, like, are they getting a cut? Who are these so-called developers? Weird bros, probably. The type to send gross messages and unsolicited dick pics to tinder matches.
He’s half soft at this point, killing his own vibe.
He grunts as he works himself, scrolls. He wants a video that’s self-uploaded, real people. He’s thinking about the guys from the last video and Suguru and that guy so he filters for gay couples and— yeah. His dick hardens back up in his hand. Satoru’s jerked off to gay porn before. All guys have, he suspects. Curiosity if nothing else. Satoru’s not gay probably, but he’s not not gay. Probably. Maybe he’s slightly more gay than the average man, using the Kinsey Scale or whatever. It’s not like he’s ever done anything in real life with a guy. Well, he did kiss Suguru once, but they were both drunk. Anyway though, all of that aside, porn is often just a convenient visual, soundtrack, whatever while he jerks it.
He finds what is clearly a couples’ page and the title of the most recent video is ludicrous. Honestly, he half clicks because of it, which is probably the point but— finger fucked to explosive orgasm? Explosive? How does that even work? Or, he knows how it works, he understands gay sex, but— does it feel good? Does it feel that good? He’s never done, you know, that. Not even his most sexually adventurous girlfriends ever went near his ass and he’d never bothered to attempt to play with it when his dick was right there.
He starts to fast forward to get past the foreplay, which is probably good if you’re into guys or whatever, but then he figures why not? He got here because he was watching guys kiss. He starts the video over and watches the guys make out, get each other’s clothes off. Satoru’s dick pulses in his hand at how hard the guy lying on his back is. It’s nice to see someone into sex, that’s always hot. He likes it when girls get really wet, so it’s logical he’s into when guys are, like, visibly extremely hard. This guy is wet at the tip of his dick too. Satoru slides his foreskin up a little and massages the head of his cock through it, rubs at his slit.
Honestly, the guy who’s going to get fingered is a little too skinny for Satoru’s taste. He likes ‘em thick, something to get his hands on. The other guy is built though, his back muscles moving as he bends over his partner. He has longer dark hair that’s falling in his face and— oh shit. The camera zooms in on the guy and, from that angle, he looks a little like Suguru, but with more tats and fewer piercings.
Satoru hesitates, sticky fingers hovering near his very hard dick. Maybe he should find a different video. Not only is Suguru already popping into his head, but he’s had random sex dreams about Suguru before. He doesn’t need to give his unconscious mind fuel or anything. Satoru goes to click out, but the other guy makes a sound when the first wet finger circles his rim that goes right to Satoru’s gut. The Suguru-looking guy goes yeah baby, there you go, just like that. Satoru lubes up his hand to make his strokes real nice and wet and rewinds so the guy says it again. It’s cheesy as fuck but Satoru’s dick, like, leaks for some reason. He wonders if Suguru says shit like that during sex, obvious lines. Satoru wants to think he wouldn’t let Suguru get away with it, but honestly he would, especially if Suguru was doing whatever this guy’s doing because it’s making his partner straight up moan. Satoru jerks his dick a little faster. The guy is teasing, pressing his second finger in and then out. Satoru thinks Suguru would do that too, tease and shit.
“Fuck.” He shifts, rubs right below the head of his cock, squeezing a little. He should stop thinking about Suguru now— he’s trying to do something here.
He props the phone up on the bed next to him as the fingering starts in earnest. Satoru’s got one hand on his dick and the other— he palms his balls and then rubs under them, pressing on his taint. The guy is digging his fingers into his own thigh where he’s holding his leg up, head tilted back and mouth open. Does it feel that good? Satoru’s had some great orgasms before, great fucking sex, like A+ intercourse, and it looks like this guy is already at that level of pleasure.
Satoru pokes at his rim uncertainly with his pointer finger, circles around it. The guy in the video groans and clutches at his boyfriend, fucks down on his fingers like it’s the only thing that matters. Satoru’s dick twitches. He shrugs internally and goes for it. His fingers are wet with lube and precum so the tip of his pointer slinger slides in when he pushes and it’s— fine? Nothing to write home about. Not that he writes home about sex, but metaphorically speaking. He wriggles his finger a bit, working it deeper, past the first knuckle, and keeps jerking off. He’s not getting soft, but it’s not like the finger in his ass is making him harder.
He plays with his foreskin and then starts jerking himself off with steady strokes. He circles the finger that’s inside himself, drags it out, pushes it back in. Huh. It’s not bad, but he doesn’t really get why the guy in the video is making all those sounds, talking about oh god it feels so good.
“Sure, bud.” He tells the guy. He’s committed though so he hikes one leg up, mimicking the video, and sticks his finger back inside himself. He rubs a second finger around his entrance, presses it in too. It’s enough of a stretch that it burns. It’s sorta unpleasant actually, until he loosens up. Overall, it’s just sorta like oh okay. Satoru would mostly say his wrist kinda hurts from the angle? He pushes his fingers in deep enough that his other knuckles press against his ass before he fucks them in and out a few times. Gay sex is maybe not all it’s cracked up to be, he thinks, stroking himself short and tight. He’s close though, just from the grip he has on his cock and the sounds the guy in the video is making.
He wonders if Suguru did this with that guy that night— fingered him, loosened him up so he could take Suguru’s cock. Suguru’s got good fucking hands. Satoru grinds his hips down as he imagines Suguru in between his thighs, fingers stretching Satoru out as he watches him with those dark intense eyes he gets.
“Fuck,” Satoru mumbles. He scissors his fingers a little, which— oh— that is pretty nice, and then crooks them up as he works his dick.
The orgasm catches him so off guard he doesn’t even make a sound. He straight up forgets to breathe the feeling is so unreal. He feels it in his spine, whole body shuddering as he cums. He can barely even work himself through it, back arching off the bed and hand spasming. He clenches down so hard on his fingers he tweaks something in his wrist, but it doesn’t register until afterwards because he is so fucking overloaded on sensation.
“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants brokenly as he starts to come down. His body’s still twitching like his orgasm might not be fully over. Satoru pants and blinks at the ceiling and listens as the finger fucking my pretty twink boyfriend to explosive orgasm video winds down in his ear. He’s 100 percent sure he came harder than the guy in the video. There’s cum on his fucking face. He licks at his lower lip, tastes bitter salt. “Jesus Christ.” He tells his phone. He strokes his softening cock with a gasp, squeezing over the head. He can’t bite back the whine as he drags his fingers out of his body. He clenches down against the empty feeling and shakes out his wrist. “What the fuck,” he asks his empty room, letting his leg fall down on the bed with a wince. He looks down at himself. He has never, full stop, never cum this much.
He’s still a little shaky when he eventually goes to clean up. He looks at himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth. Okay. Massive orgasm from ass play. Thought about his best bud while he was doing it. He spits, clears his throat.
“Well.” He says. “Listen, bud.” He waves his finger at himself. He doesn’t know where to go from here so he does the only thing he thinks is reasonable— leaves it for future Satoru.
He basically passes out when he gets into bed. It’s pretty amazing sleep, honestly.
Suguru dead-eyes him across the table.
“Please listen to me, man.” Satoru says.
“No.” Suguru responds in that long suffering way that means he’s going to listen to Satoru but he’s gonna be pissy about it first. “It’s, fucking, 7AM.” Suguru adds. Suguru is not a morning person. It’s why Satoru went and bought the fancy coffee Suguru likes and breakfast sandwiches and red bean buns. He had to go to the bakery across town to get those.
“It’s so important.” Satoru tells him.
“Your opening gambit at 7-fucking-AM was ‘say I’ve gotten into anal play lately, why do I leak cum before I cum?’” Suguru says with a glare.
“Yeah.” Satoru says.
Suguru glares even harder.
“Well, you could answer me at least.” Satoru huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I hope you fall off a bridge and die.” Suguru tells him, but he’s unwrapping a breakfast sandwich and pulling the lid off one of the cups of coffee, so.
“I hope you do too.” Satoru says amicably, taking a seat. He pushes some napkins toward Suguru and switches out the breakfast sandwich. Suguru likes the ones with avocado better. “So why do I?”
“You’re giving me a migraine.” Suguru informs him with a glare. Satoru’s the one who gets migraines. Like he has to carry around prescription medications and shit. It’s so rude to mock that.
“It’s so rude to mock that,” he tells Suguru, “that’s a real health condition, bud.”
“Why are you here,” Suguru asks plaintively.
“Anal play.” Satoru supplies. “That’s not gonna help your so-called migraine.” He informs Suguru as Suguru thuds his head onto the table. “Frankly I think you’re being dramatic, my dude.”
“I think you should find a modicum of shame, my dude.” Suguru informs him witheringly, holds out his hand. Satoru gives him a hot sauce packet. He fiddles with his daith piercing as he waits. Suguru took him to get it, to help with his migraines. It sorta does help, actually.
“It’s just,” Satoru sighs, “what am I supposed to do, ask Shoko how the prostate works and why mine is dialed up to a hundred thousand? I came so hard the first time I got cum in my mouth.” He wrinkles his nose. “I need to eat more fruit by the way, that’s a real thing, right?”
“Jesus,” Suguru says, coughing. He must have swallowed his coffee wrong. “It, uh, feels that good for you?” He asks, eyes a little distant.
Satoru dead eyes him.
“No, asshole, I came so hard I went nonverbal because it felt just okay.”
Suguru looks at him for a second and then rubs his eyes like he’s real tired.
“Shoko is a doctor, I guess.” Satoru shrugs. “Well, almost. Anyway, if you’re too embarrassed or whatever to talk to me about it I can—”
“Die in a ditch, bud.” Suguru says. “Sounds like you’re milking your prostate.”
“I’m not a cow.” Satoru says offended, grabbing his own sandwich to take a bite. “I don’t know what that means.” He admits around his mouthful.
“You’re pushing cum out of your dick by pressing on your prostate.” Suguru says, staring at the ceiling. “It happens to some guys, supposed to feel real nice.”
“Doesn’t happen to you?” Satoru asks, chasing a piece of bacon he’s dropped on his wrapper so he can pop it in his mouth. “It does feel good, the whole thing is like this weird extended mini orgasm before my cumming all over myself orgasm.”
“I guess my prostate is not dialed to a hundred thousand.” Suguru says after a second, like he had to think about the words first. He stares at his sandwich. “Shit feels good, but I’ve never gone non-verbal.” He’s not looking at Satoru when he speaks. Satoru is offended for reasons unknown.
“Oh, I was very non-verbal last night.” Satoru assures him. Satoru was. He had figured maybe it was a one-off thing so last night he tried again and— holy fuck. Definitely not a one-off thing. It felt like his orgasm lasted forever. He was leaking more than just precum too, like actual cum it seemed like, and the whole combination of everything led him to Suguru. He can trust Suguru and he figured Suguru probably had answers. “It’s wild— I don’t even have to touch my dick, you know? Came so hard there were no more words in my head.”
“I would pay good money to see that.” Suguru says in response eventually. Satoru doesn’t know if Suguru means pay to see Satoru shut the fuck up or pay to see Satoru cum so hard he can’t talk.
“To see me non-verbal?” Satoru asks and then, because he doesn’t have a modicum of shame or a brain to mouth filter, “Like in general or do you mean pay to watch me cum? A lot of people would, buddy. Take a number. Aren’t you gonna eat your sandwich?” He asks this because Suguru is just, like, sitting there.
Suguru stares at him while Satoru takes another bite of his own sandwich. He nods encouragingly at Suguru.
“I—” Suguru starts and then stops, frowns. “Wait, did you say you didn’t touch your dick?” He asks. Satoru nods and makes a mmhm sound around his sandwich. “Like, at all? You came untouched?”
Satoru nods yet again and takes a sip of his coffee. No matter how much creamer and stuff he uses it’s never enough. He finds another sugar packet and dumps it in. When he glances up, Suguru is starting to look, like, pretty pissed or something for some reason. He’s got a real serious, brow furrowed, face on.
“Do you want me to ask Nanami for ass play tips?” Satoru says. “That’s where this is headed if you don’t get yapping.”
Satoru leaves Suguru’s apartment feeling remarkably horny and packing a little too much of a semi given how dryly Suguru talked about fingering guys and sex with men in general. And also because, at one point, Suguru said, with this intent look in his eyes, the prep feels good. bet it would for you especially, if you’re that sensitive and when Satoru had said I don’t know, it’s mostly weird until I really get in there, Suguru had said, then you’re doing it wrong. Satoru was going to get offended but Suguru had added I could do it right, make it good and moved on before Satoru could even react.
Satoru is a simple man. Suguru said that and Satoru’s brain was immediately like oh shit what would you do to make it good? He spent the rest of breakfast looking at Suguru’s hands a little too much, especially when Suguru licked some hot sauce off his pinky, and then Satoru was just looking at Suguru’s mouth.
The thing is, Satoru’s always been able to appreciate the finer points of the male form. He’s always assumed he was straight but like— he’s got eyes. Suguru is hot, with his hair and his tats and his piercings and his intelligence and empathy and dark deep eyes. And he works out. Satoru has seen him naked and the man has a beautiful body. He gets why Suguru is popular with everyone. Satoru would hit it. He’s said that before, which earned him general pained looks from their friends, but like— he would. Sorry for being fucking honest, he guesses?
All of that being true though, Satoru’s never particularly thought about how Suguru must fuck for any extended amount of time. Now he can’t stop thinking about it. Like, for the entire fucking day, incredibly unprofessionally, he can’t stop wondering what Suguru’s cock would feel like, hard and hot in his hand or his mouth or, fuck, inside him.
He doesn’t necessarily mean to, but he starts thinking about what Suguru said when he’s in bed a few nights later. He’s horny and tired so he plans to just rub one out, and then it hits him like— he’s doing it wrong? What’s right then?
He palms his dick through his shorts idly. Suguru would go slow, he decides, kicking off the sheets. He trails his fingers up his thighs and feels kinda silly about it. He wriggles out of his shorts, strokes his inner thighs again, then the base of his dick. He presses in on his taint, fondles his balls. It’s fine? He’s half soft as he rummages in his drawer for lube and this slim wand dildo thing he ordered and hasn’t used yet. It vibrates. He downloaded the app, turned it on, and chickened out when it vibrated so hard in his hand that it fell onto the bed.
He lubes the wand up and drags it back and forth on his hole, circles it. It’s not particularly arousing. It’s mostly cold and wet. He sighs, shifting. The thing is, he gets it in theory. He teases girls a little before he eats them out, but this is like. He shifts again, gets the tip of the dildo in, chewing at his lower lip. Fuck it. He pushes it in like an inch. That’s not slow and definitely a little uncomfortable because he did slightly too much, but it’ll be worth it. He can almost feel Suguru’s disapproving eyes on him. He winces, trying to circle the wand so that he loosens up.
It’s just fine and a little weird at first, exactly like he said. Then the wand drags against his prostate and he’s glad he’s biting his lower lip because the sound he makes definitely should be muffled. He gets hard so fast it’s dizzying as he drags the wand in and out of his hole, making sure he’s hitting his prostate with each pass. Yeah, this is it. This is the good part. Suguru would tease him a little more for sure, Suguru likes to tease him just in general, but Satoru just wants this. The prep is never gonna be the good part. He drags the wand out and lubes it up some more before he fucks it back in himself, making sure to press on his prostate. God, Suguru would probably tease him with this part too, purposefully avoid his prostate or something. Fuck Suguru, man.
Satoru fumbles with his phone and the app that turns the vibe on. He makes sure it’s low as anything but—
“Fuck,” he swears, so loud it’s like the word has been shocked out of him. “Oh fuck.” His whole body jerks, a whining sobbing sound escaping him as he tries to hold the wand in the right spot. It’s so much sensation that his hand spasms, dragging the wand halfway out. “Oh Jesus, fuck,” he repeats on a whine, pressing it back in. It’s so much. It feels so good. He pants, lifts his head up to try to look as he fucks himself with it. His foreskin is pulled back all the way and the head of his cock looks swollen, a deep dark color. His dick is bobbing on his stomach with every movement, leaking precum and, as he nudges against his prostate and presses in, thick cum. He makes a sort of garbled sound, manages to get out, “Fuck—”, which is truly the only word he’s got right now.
Suguru’s face flashes in his head again, the dark look in his eyes. He’d pay to see it. God. Satoru chokes out a hysterical laugh, twisting on the bed. When he gets the dildo against his prostate and manages to hold it there his whole body jolts out of his control. His hand twitches hard and the wand slides out a little. He’s clenching down without meaning to so it doesn’t fall out out but still. He groans as he fumbles with it, pressing it back in deep.
“Please,” he mumbles, trying to work himself and hold off from coming and get the wand to hit his prostate just right again, keep it there, “oh fuck, please—” He rolls over and up onto his knees, fucks the dildo in and out. God. He’s shaking too much to get up a steady rhythm but he wants it. He wishes Suguru was here because he bets Suguru would get the rhythm right, good and deep for him. Wouldn’t falter, wouldn’t have to worry his sweaty hands or the jerks of his body from the pleasure would make him fumble. Suguru can always sort of read Satoru’s mind— he would be able to edge him purposefully, not this weird half ruined thing Satoru is doing to himself on accident because he’s so overstimulated and everything is so much. He slides his legs wider, humps the bed.
Honestly, not that he’s going to tell Suguru, but he bets Suguru would make him like the prep part. He’s got like— the hands for it. His fucking hands, fuck. Satoru whimpers, bites at the pillow. Suguru has the voice for it too. Satoru loves his voice, the way he says Satoru’s name. Yeah— Suguru would fuck him good, press him into the bed, heated whispers right in Satoru’s ear. He’d get a hand on Satoru’s hip to lift it up, get the angle right for Satoru, make him see stars with his cock in Satoru’s ass. Oh god. Oh god.
“Fuck,” Satoru sobs. His hand spasms again. He moans, trying to get his grip back to keep fucking himself.
He shouldn’t think about it. He shouldn’t. God. Satoru’s seen Suguru’s cock at the baths, all heavy and soft. He’s big already. What would he be like hard? Would Suguru’s cock even fit in Satoru? Suguru would make it, make him take it. It would feel so good inside him, thick and hard and hot. Satoru whines, tries to think about something else. The vibrations are almost too much, especially combined with his cock rubbing against the sheets. There are tears in his fucking eyes, on his cheeks, the pillow damp under his face.
He rolls onto his side and keeps fucking himself. He’s leaking steadily, getting cum and precum everywhere. God. He wishes the dildo were thicker, filled him up more. Suguru would fill him up so good. Hold him steady and fuck him good. Shit. Shit. He should stop thinking about Suguru but, fuck, he wants to. He imagines it, Suguru whispering there you go, just like that, ‘toru, fucking him hard, deep, his voice hot in Satoru’s ear, come on baby.
Satoru fucking gives it up with a dildo in his ass thinking about Suguru sweet talking him, everything fading away except for the pleasure that starts in his groin, hips, pelvis— it radiates out, all up his spine and into every nerve. It’s like falling apart if that was a good thing. When he comes from jerking off it’s centered in his dick, feels good as shit, but this is different. He hasn’t even touched his cock for real, but he’s cumming in waves like it’s never gonna stop, hips jerking up and down, getting it all over himself, the bed, everything.
“What the fuck,” he sobs into his pillow, whole body shaking. The vibrations are still going and he can’t find his phone to turn them off, just starts sobbing harder as he slaps his hand around the bed for it. Spit is leaking out the corner of his mouth because he can’t close it, can’t get air into his lungs right. “Oh fuck, fuck—” his tongue is heavy and the words are all slurred. He manages to find his phone and get the vibrator off, barely able to see the screen through the tears.
He reaches a shaking hand back to play with the wand, drag it out a little bit then push it back in. He ruts into the ruined sheets as much as he can stand and loses track of his entire body. He thinks he’s cumming again or maybe it just never ended. His whole body feels like it’s electrified or something.
He’s not sure how much time has passed when he pulls it together a little. He kinda wants to keep fucking himself, just to see what would happen, but he can’t even keep up a steady rhythm before he cums. He’s useless right now. Suguru would definitely keep fucking him, overstimulate him, get him hard again and make him come a second, third?, time. God. Or Satoru could ride him, get him really deep while Suguru looks at him, tells him how good he’s doing, how good he is.
“Fuck.” Satoru mumbles. Is he into that, getting told he’s doing good, is good? Apparently. His dick is trying to respond to the thought. He drags the wand out of himself with a wince, tosses it to the side and rubs at his rim. Shit, he feels so empty. He tries to lift up to move away from the massive wet spot he’s created, but his arm shakes and gives out. He whines pitifully as he falls back down on the bed.
Maybe he can get a dildo he can suction to the wall or the floor or some shit and like— pretend it’s Suguru? God. Fuck. Surely at that point he should just— what? Ask Suguru to fuck him?
Actually.
He’s about a second away from finding his phone to text Suguru do u wanna fuck me, before his higher brain functions manage to kick back in. He should not make any friendship-altering decisions all fucked out and cum drunk or whatever.
“Fucking hell.” He mumbles, brain and body still buzzing. He closes his eyes. He’s gonna get up. He’s going to. He has to. He needs to get up and clean up and strip the bed or some shit.
His phone dings and Satoru looks at it blearily. Suguru’s texted asking if they’re still on for lunch tomorrow and then a cat meme because Satoru fucking loves cat memes and Suguru knows him better than anyone. He just got off to the thought of Suguru fucking him and now he’s got to be all normal and chill and like yeah man lunch sounds dope. That’s how he talks, right? He sends some appropriate stickers to the cat meme. Okay. Mission accomplished. He plugs his phone in and it buzzes a few times like Suguru’s responding. Satoru can’t right now. God. He’s like white noise and flatline at the moment, that’s all he is. He wants to be asleep.
“Come on, bud.” He mumbles encouragingly to himself.
He lifts up on his knees and his whole body is still so shaky from how hard he came that he simply flops back down again. He could clean up or he could sleep.
Yeah. Sleep is gonna win.
He regrets it in the morning. Jesus, he didn’t even know he could cum that much. He just tosses the sheets. He orders that suction cup dildo though.
[satoru]
yo am i gay
[utahime]
well
good morning to you too gojo
im doing well, thank you
[shoko]
okay tbh gojo
this crisis is like ten years late
[utahime]
at LEAST ten years
[satoru]
it’s not a crisis
and what do u mean
forget it u guys SUCK
maybe ill go ask suguru
he’s a better friend than the two of u combined
and a gay man
and he taught me about prostate orgasms
[shoko]
he what
like hands on or ?
[utahime]
i don’t wanna know!!!!!
shut the fuck up shoko!!!!
love u!!!!!
[shoko]
lol
no but really gojo
what
[satoru]
we had a Conversation
u know
when people trust each other?
and talk to each other???
[shoko]
right
[utahime]
that poor man
he puts up with too much
mainly u
[satoru]
idk what y mean
im a pleasure and a joy
[utahime]
you are a something
[satoru]
a gay something???
[shoko]
for fucks sake
gojo
are you gay
Satoru considers. People tell him sometimes his, like, common sense is a little whack from how he grew up (rich, sheltered) but he knows liking it up the ass doesn’t make him gay. Straight couples do that. His prostate might be, like, god’s gift to a bottom, but that doesn’t make him a gay guy.
However a lot of other evidence, in fact one might hazard to say all the other evidence, points toward yes. He’s had some not heterosexual thoughts about Suguru before, but he usually just shrugged them off the same way as when he has sexual thoughts about, like, Kimura Takuya or whatever. He’s jerked it once or twice thinking about Suguru fucking someone, but he was drunk when he did so he’d assumed it was the liquor. Looking back, that seems sorta fake. Also, there’s not any heterosexual explanation for fucking yourself with a dildo wand thing and pretending it’s your best bud’s cock. Or for cumming because you imagined him calling you baby. That’s pretty gay. Also, maybe Satoru should get a modicum of shame. Suguru might have been onto something.
[satoru]
yeah bisexual
[shoko]
congrats king
[utahime]
yeah
congrats on coming out
dumbass
[satoru]
neither of u seems shocked
[shoko]
bc we’re not
[utahime]
not even an iota
ive seen u lick geto on the mouth
[satoru]
he had WHIPPED CREAM
i was drunk and assisting
for the Last Time
[shoko]
u weren’t that drunk
and straight men don’t lick their buds on the mouth
not even for whipped cream
ur a fool (disrespectful)
[utahime]
also it’s happened more than once
not drunk even
like 11am on a Sunday
Satoru literally doesn’t have to put up with this. He has labs to go to and his friends suck.
[satoru]
whatever don’t be homophobic
He mutes the chat before Utahime starts screaming at him. When he looks at his phone again he has 32 messages. All in a day’s work.
“Hear me out.” Satoru says, sliding onto his usual stool. Suguru used to work at this bar full-time, still picks up shifts sometimes, so they all tend to congregate here. Especially because the manager likes Suguru so they get free drinks on occasion. Satoru tries to get there a little early if Suguru is working so he can sit at the bar and bother Suguru one-on-one. Best friend rights. Suguru puts a beer in front of Satoru. Satoru looks at it, confused.
“Is this a sex thing again?” Suguru asks and puts Satoru’s shirley temple next to the beer. Satoru smiles at him. Suguru taps his nose.
“Yes,” Satoru hedges, “but—” Suguru takes a very long drink of the beer. “You shouldn’t be drinking on your shift.” Satoru tells him severely. Suguru wipes down the bar in front of Satoru and purposefully gets the rag on his hand. “Gross, dude.” Satoru wipes his hand off and eats his cherry, ties the stem into a knot with his tongue and holds it between his teeth to show Suguru. Suguru looks at his mouth for a very long time. Satoru spits the cherry stem onto the bar so he can speak. “So I was—” Satoru starts.
“Are you, like, gay now?” Suguru asks suddenly.
“Huh?” Satoru says. “Oh, yeah.” He shrugs. “Bisexual. Dude, that’s not the point.”
“How is it not the point?” Suguru asks after a second. “Why aren’t you having an existential crisis or whatever?”
“Do you, like, want me to?” Satoru asks uncertainly.
“Are you gonna fuck a guy?” Suguru asks.
“I can’t keep up right now, bud.” Satoru responds after a second.
“Nevermind.” Suguru furiously dries a glass that seems pretty dry, honestly.
“Okay, so I bought a dildo.” Satoru tells him, around a sip of beer. He regrets it and gulps his drink. “It vibrates. I think I broke myself using it last night. I truly don’t know if I came twice or if it was just, like, world record long. Super non-verbal, crying from how good it was, passed out in my own cum.” He nods, takes another sip. “Oh, came untouched.” He adds, because Suguru had seemed to think that was important last time. Satoru doesn’t get why. His porn adventures have shown him cumming untouched is pretty standard. Unless porn is lying to him. Oh fuck, porn is lying to him. “Is porn lying to me, do most guys not cum without a hand on their dick? I sure don’t need one, not that I mind one, I’m just saying–”
He pauses because Suguru is– staring at the ceiling? Suguru is just staring at the ceiling, saying literally nothing for so long it gets concerning. He’s still holding the towel and the glass like he’s drying it but he’s not moving even the littlest bit.
“Suguru?” Satoru tries. “Man, you good—”
“Can you shut up.” Suguru says without looking at him. “Just, fucking, shut up for a minute.”
Satoru counts to twenty in his head and sips his drink.
“So hear me out,” he says again and Suguru flicks eyes down to him, “the prep part is still,” he makes an iffy gesture with his hand, “and then when I’m doing it, I’m too shaky and messed up, can’t get up a rhythm and I want to keep going while I cum, and after really, but I—”
“Why are you telling me this?” Suguru cuts in, asking in the calm voice he usually reserves for belligerent customers or really shitty parents of the kids he works with. “Satoru, why are you telling me this shit?”
“Oh.” Satoru fidgets. “Should I not?”
“Are you telling other people?” Suguru asks patiently.
Satoru wrinkles his nose.
“No?” He says. “Ugh. Why would I?”
“So you’re just telling me?” Suguru rubs the bridge of his nose.
“Yes.” Satoru says.
“Why?” Suguru asks.
“So hear me out.” Satoru says again. Suguru looks at him with an eyebrow raised. “I can’t stop fucking thinking about it.” Satoru blurts out, which makes Suguru look more confused. “You said I wasn’t doing it right. You said you could do it better. I want— what if, like, you do it better. To me.” He finishes sort of lamely.
Suguru looks at him. Satoru looks back. It’s a very weird standoff. Satoru thinks Suguru’s a little chubbed up in his jeans though, which is great because that means Satoru’s got a fighting chance here. He’s about to say something, absolutely no idea what, when Suguru speaks.
“Sorry, what? You want me to do what?” Suguru asks, leaning forward.
“Well, you said you’d pay to see it, so this is even better because it would be free, you know? I just— I want someone, you actually, to make it good, show me how to make the starting part good. I don’t–” He frowns, tries to start his sentence again. “The whole sex with men thing is new and I trust you, like, so much and even if I’m a terrible lay you won’t make fun of me and you would make it good and—” He physically cuts himself off by taking a huge gulp of beer. “Gross.” He mumbles and stares at the bar instead of meeting Suguru’s eyes.
Suguru’s fingertip under his chin is cool as he tilts Satoru’s face back up. He’s looking at Satoru real seriously, almost calculating in a weird way. Suguru’s a big guy but Satoru is too. He’s taller even, but right now since he’s sitting down he’s gotta tilt up to meet Suguru’s eyes. He feels kinda small. It’s a new and not bad feeling. Satoru swallows a little heavily.
“Are you saying you want me to fuck you?” Suguru asks without dropping Satoru’s eyes.
Satoru fidgets.
“Whatever you feel comfortable with.” He says. “Like, if you just wanna show me how to make the first part good or whatever that’s fine too.”
“Whatever I feel comfortable with?” Suguru tilts his head. “What about what you feel comfortable with?”
“I feel comfortable with anything.” Satoru says way too quickly and way too honestly. It’s just— was Suguru always this hot? Satoru feels like he’s Paul on the road to gay Damascus. The scales have fallen from his eyes and shit. “I just,” Satoru takes a breath, “can’t stop thinking about it.”
“About me?” Suguru asks, voice low. Satoru leans forward to hear him better. God. They’re very close.
“About you and— what you would do to me.” Satoru whispers. His whole head and body feel like he just downed the beer, all fuzzy and bubbly. “Would you—” His mouth is so dry. He’s going to say would you fuck me or could you fingerfuck me to an explosive orgasm even though that’s a personal reference, not something Suguru would get, but what comes out is, “Would you even want to fuck me?”
“Would I want to fuck you?” Suguru repeats, like it’s a real question.
Which. Yeah, actually. It is a real question. Suguru repeating it makes Satoru feel– fuck. Fuck. Suguru is gay, but why would that mean he wants to do anything with Satoru? It’s not like he’s just like yeah I’m a guy, you’re a guy, let’s fuck. Jesus. Satoru’s so in his head he didn’t think this through.
“Fuck.” Satoru says. What if he fucked up their friendship somehow, like Suguru’s real offended by Satoru asking. Assuming. Satoru can’t live without Suguru. More than anything, Suguru is something, someone, he needs in his life. “Fuck. Nevermind. I’m sorry—”
“Hey,” Suguru says, that soft comforting tone he gets that does things to Satoru’s stomach, makes him feel all warm inside and, holy shit, how did he not realize he was gay before this, “‘toru—”
Satoru makes a small sound of discontent. He’s definitely getting turned down and that’s completely fine. He just— is Suguru upset with him?
Suguru cups Satoru’s face. He used to do that when Satoru was getting those really bad migraines every few days and no medicine was helping and he was just vomiting and crying and in so much fucking pain. Suguru would cup Satoru’s face with cool hands and say it’s okay, ‘toru, i’m here, you’re okay and it didn’t make the pain any less or anything better, except that then Satoru didn’t feel all alone and he had Suguru to anchor him even when it hurt so bad he could barely breathe.
“It’s fine, man.” Satoru says quickly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. I know friends fuck around but, damn, way for me to assume, huh?” He looks anywhere but Suguru’s face. “Sorry, just forget it, okay? Don’t—”
“‘toru,” Suguru says, “wait, I wasn’t—”
“What are you two talking about so seriously?” Shoko says, sliding onto the stool next to Satoru. She takes Suguru’s hand from Satoru’s face and puts it under her chin, smiles at him. Suguru laughs, turns around without looking back at Satoru. Satoru’s gonna be sick actually. He smiles vaguely at Shoko when she looks at him. She looks down at the beer then back up at him. “Were you drinking that?” She asks, sounding incredulous.
“Satoru’s drinking beer?” Utahime wraps her arms around Shoko and peers at Satoru’s face. “Man, are you good? You look peaky.”
“Yeah,” Satoru says, voice way too fucking high. He clears his throat, downs his shirley temple like it’s vodka. He wishes it was vodka. “We were just talking, shooting the shit, you know.”
Suguru puts a whiskey down on the bar for Shoko and a soju highball for Utahime. He snags his beer back.
“It was for our ears only,” he says with a wink. Shoko and Utahime boo loudly. Suguru taps Satoru’s hand after he speaks, comforting-like. Satoru smiles weakly at him. Suguru makes him a cosmo but puts it in a regular glass because Satoru has a vendetta against martini glasses.
Nanami and Haibara show up pretty soon after and the conversation drifts to other topics. Satoru’s second drink is enough that he’s not so ashamed anymore and certain he and Suguru will just move on, no problem. That’s his literal best friend– what’s a little friends with benefits request and rejection. They’re good.
He looks up and Suguru’s looking at him, leaned back against the bar, arms crossed on his chest. Everyone else is distracted so Satoru beckons him close and then closer.
“You can just. Forget it.” Satoru says. Suguru doesn’t answer. Satoru starts to turn away and then Suguru’s voice is right in his ear, one of his hands on the back of Satoru’s neck, thumb stroking his undercut.
“What if I don’t want to forget it?” Suguru asks. The hairs on Satoru’s arms stand up. “I will if you want me to though. Do you want me to?”
“No.” Satoru whispers.
“Good.” Suguru says, low and promising and, wow, Satoru’s dick responds to that. Suguru squeezes Satoru’s neck before he removes his hand and walks off to deal with a patron. Satoru’s whole body is tingling. Fuck.
He jerks off like four times that night.
Suguru shows up for pizza and Mario Kart the next Tuesday, as is tradition. He loses miserably, also as is tradition. He’s drinking a beer, Satoru is drinking a cider because beer is gross thank you, and lounging on Satoru’s couch when he brings it up.
“So,” he says, “you think about me when you fuck yourself or something?”
Satoru chokes politely on his cider but recovers.
“Maybe.” He says. “Man, I just— you said you would make it good but the prep part is so fucking boring, so I keep being like how.” Satoru’s aware this is not quite how he thinks of Suguru when he’s fucking himself but a man is allowed his secrets, surely.
Suguru’s leaned back in the corner of the couch, one leg up and one on the ground, just looking at him. Satoru sort of wants to crawl between Suguru’s thighs and make him beg to fuck Satoru. He doesn’t know how he would accomplish that, but he knows what he likes when he’s getting sucked off so he could probably like—
“Sorry?” He says because Suguru definitely just said something and Satoru was absolutely not listening.
“What do you want me to do exactly?” Suguru repeats. “What were you thinking about just now, where did you go?” He pulls his legs up, half mimicking Satoru’s curled up posture.
“Nowhere.” Satoru says smoothly, which is technically not a lie. “I want you to—” he fiddles with the pull tab of his cider can, “show me how to make it good?”
“What does that mean, Satoru?” Suguru asks, patient-like.
“What do you mean what do I mean?” Satoru frowns. He waves his free hand generally. “You’re the one well versed in gay sex, help a buddy out.”
Suguru looks at the ceiling for a bit. He’s doing that a lot lately. Satoru’s getting concerned for his neck.
“What do you mean, Satoru?” Suguru asks again as he tilts his head back down. His voice is very measured. “What does fuck mean to you? You want, what, foreplay? You want me to do it clinically, lay you down and prep you? Or do you want me to do it the way I’d do to a guy I’m gonna fuck, open you up like you’re gonna take cock? You want me to get you ready and then you’ll fuck yourself until you cum? You want me to watch? You want me to make you cum?”
Satoru nods vaguely.
“Sounds good.” He says.
Suguru rolls his eyes.
“Satoru, give me something to go on here. Like, I’m working you open– am I allowed to kiss you?” Suguru moves closer on the couch as he speaks. “I’m allowed to use my fingers, right? What else? Do you want me to use your little wand you’ve been telling me about? A dildo? Or is that not quite right— do you want my cock in you, Satoru? Want me to fuck you like that, feel what it’s like to have a guy cum on you, in you?”
“Jesus.” Satoru manages as his dick twitches. “Um.” He clears his throat. God. He adjusts himself, half hard in his sweats, and watches Suguru watch him. His mind is filtering through things too fast. “Whatever you want, man.” He gets out. Then he thinks about it a little. Suguru’s waiting like he knows Satoru needs to think. “Like we’re on a date,” he decides, “like if you were gonna do that to a guy you’re seeing, make him cum like that, I want you to— do that.”
“Like a date.” Suguru muses. “So I could kiss you?” Satoru nods. “Touch you anywhere?” Satoru shivers hard, which is definitely an answer, but he nods yes again too. “And then you want me to make you cum?” When Satoru nods, Suguru asks, “How?”
“I—” Satoru whispers, “With your fingers?” He doesn’t mean for it to be a question. “I mean, fuck, any of that is okay. I just know you’ll make it good.”
Suguru nods like he’s considering.
“Can I get off too?” He asks. “Or is this only about you, because, listen man—”
“No,” Satoru cuts him off with a frown, “come on dude, I’m not a total jackass. Fuck, man. If— if I make you hard then yeah, I want that, want you to cum too, but I get you’re doing this as a favor so if—”
“A favor,” Suguru sort of snorts, “if I get hard? Jesus. I swear. It’s wild to me, ‘toru. It’s like you have no fucking clue how hot you are.”
“Huh?” Satoru says. Like, yeah, he’s hot but this is Suguru. Suguru doesn’t think of him that way. Suguru shifts on the couch, opening his legs a little wider, and oh, oh. He’s at least half hard too, sweatpants tenting. Satoru looks for a second and then flicks his eyes back up to meet Suguru’s. “I’m clean.” Satoru says, maybe abruptly. “Just so you know, I got tested like six months ago and have not fucked anyone since.”
“Me too.” Suguru says. “Well, I’ve been tested recently. Haven’t fucked anyone for months.”
“Cool.” Satoru says idly and stares at Suguru’s covered dick.
“Was this our date, Satoru?” Suguru’s voice is quiet. Satoru jerks his gaze back up to meet Suguru’s. Suguru’s looking at him calmly, like he would agree either way. He would, Satoru knows.
Satoru wasn’t entirely intending this to happen tonight but, to be honest, he was planning to try to fuck himself with that dildo he got after Suguru left, if Suguru didn’t stay the night, so— he’s cleaned up and ready. He could say no too. He could say nevermind all of this, actually and Suguru would say okay. Suguru would probably suggest they watch a movie, eventually order midnight pizza with Satoru and gripe about how he’s gonna regret it in the morning while Satoru explains it’s a perfect meal— carbs, veg, protein, dairy– just like always. That thought makes Satoru real sure.
“This was our date.” He agrees and then Suguru’s leaning in and kissing him. Satoru nearly drops his cider. Suguru starts to pull back but Satoru stops him with a quick hand. He puts his drink down on the table and pulls Suguru’s mouth back to his, licking into it. Suguru tastes like beer and his cigarettes and spearmint gum and his mouth is hot and opens to Satoru easily. Suguru grabs him by the jaw to slow him down and Satoru shivers, arches into him. “Fuck.” Suguru says, all heated. It takes Satoru a second because he was thinking that and can’t process that he’s not the one who said it. Then he stops thinking because Suguru is kissing him again.
Satoru genuinely likes making out, always has. It’s a little different with a man– like the rasp of stubble on Suguru’s chin or the hardness of his pecs under Satoru’s hand, so it’s like a whole new experience. Especially when Suguru falls back against the couch and hikes Satoru up onto his lap, hands tight on Satoru’s hips, big palms, hot fingers creeping under his shirt.
“Oh shit,” Satoru breathes into Suguru’s mouth as he straddles him. It’s weird at first, he’s never sat on a girl’s lap. He wiggles to try to get comfortable and Suguru makes a sound that Satoru really likes. He rocks his hips down and Suguru’s fingers bite into his waist. Satoru grins into the kiss and spreads his knees a little wider so they’re more pressed together. He likes this, he decides. He gets his hand in Suguru’s hair and controls the kiss, pulling away and leaving Suguru chasing him. He’s got the height even more than usual and Suguru’s abs are good to grind against. He can feel Suguru hard against his ass and that’s a super new sensation. He’s into it. They make out for a while, grinding against each other. Satoru’s mouth feels kinda tingly from it. He tilts his head back as Suguru kisses down his neck.
“Can I leave a mark?” Suguru asks, biting lightly. Satoru nods, threading his fingers into Suguru’s hair. He rolls his hips down into Suguru’s lap while Suguru bites and sucks at his skin. The pleasure-pain is so good.
“Fuck,” Satoru mumbles, “fuck—”
“Bedroom.” Suguru says, dragging his mouth off of Satoru’s neck like it pains him. “Bedroom is next on a date, if you want, if you still want–”
“Yeah, fuck,” Satoru says, stumbling to his feet and pulling Suguru after him. “Come on.” He gets his shirt off before they’re even in the bedroom, tugs at Suguru’s, trying to keep kissing him and get more skin to touch at the same time. Satoru manages to step out of his sweats without really breaking the kiss, which he’s kind of impressed with himself for.
“Eager.” Suguru says, pulling back and stripping his shirt off.
“You have no fucking idea, bud.” Satoru tells him and falls back on his bed, bouncing on his elbows. Suguru rolls his eyes, but he’s also looking at Satoru’s bare chest and abs appreciatively. Satoru flexes a little and it makes Suguru laugh. “Oh, I— I cleaned up down there so— it’s—” Satoru kinda flushes. He doesn’t know exactly how to say what he’s trying to say. “I’m cleaned up down there.” He says finally, voice soft.
“Yeah?” Suguru asks quietly. Satoru nods. He would feel awkward, but Suguru’s looking at him, like, half hungry, half tender. Satoru feels very safe and also very turned on. “You were thinking about it, hm? Got ready?”
“Yeah,” Satoru wiggles a little on the bed, “get over here, come on.”
“That’s hot.” Suguru says, as he follows Satoru onto the bed, crawls up his body. Satoru scoots back so he can lie down comfortably.“You know,” Suguru muses and leans in, elbows on either side of Satoru’s head. “This isn’t gonna be much help to you if I’m kissing you and shit, how are you gonna do that to yourself, bud?” He manages to make it sound sexy and lowkey a little condescending in the best way possible. Satoru knew his bedroom voice would be good.
“Dunno,” Satoru squirms as Suguru noses into his neck, kissing and pressing in on the mark he left. His fingers play with Satoru’s nipple and like— did that always feel that good? Satoru’s never paid them much mind. Suguru travels down his body slow, kissing and licking and seemingly enjoying the feel of Satoru’s skin under his mouth. He tugs at the waistband of Satoru’s boxers with his teeth, looking up at him through his lashes. “Such a fucking move,” Satoru gasps at him, like he’s not fully hard.
“Yeah, I can tell you really hate it.” Suguru says, lifting up. He smacks Satoru’s thigh. “Get ‘em off, bud. Where’s your lube?”
“Drawer.” Satoru points and lifts his hips up as he wriggles out of his boxers. When he looks back up Suguru is holding up the suction cup dildo thing.
“Wow.” He says.
“Fuck off.” Satoru tells him. “I’m learning and growing, don’t be rude.”
“I’m not being rude—” Suguru glances at Satoru and stops, eyes taking him in, traveling down his body, landing on his hard dick and sticking there for a second. “‘toru,” Suguru says, voice all tight and turned on. He’s looking at Satoru like he sorta wants to eat him. Satoru sorta wants him too.
Suguru tosses the dildo and the wand and the lube on the bed, knee-walks over and muscles Satoru’s thighs apart to sit between them. He strokes the back of his hand up Satoru’s inner thigh. It’s almost exactly what Satoru did to himself so many nights ago but instead of feeling silly it feels like the best way he’s ever been touched.
Satoru waits for Suguru to get in there, start working him open. Suguru does not. Suguru doesn’t seem to want to do much more than look at him and touch softly. He pets at Satoru’s legs and his hips and his stomach and then strokes his knuckles up Satoru’s dick which makes Satoru jerk. Suguru pauses.
“Still okay?” He asks.
Satoru nods, impatient. “Get on with it.” He says. “Can’t wait to prove you wrong that prep sucks.”
Suguru fucking laughs at him.
“No,” he says and settles himself on his stomach between Satoru’s legs, pushing them up a little. “You’re annoying,” he adds, but it sounds affectionate. “Also, this is part of it so deal.” His feet hang off the bed and Satoru would give him shit about it, but Suguru starts kissing Satoru’s hip, the base of his dick, sucks a hickey into the tender skin of his inner thigh.
He just— does that. Kisses him and touches him, strokes a knuckle down under his balls and across his taint and to his hole, dragging at the rim all dry and slow. Fucking tease. Satoru goes to say that, opens his mouth to tell him, but never gets there.
“You ever been rimmed?” Suguru asks, dragging his teeth lightly over sensitive skin.
“Obviously not.” Satoru manages, arches up into Suguru’s mouth.
“Mm,” Suguru presses a soothing kiss to Satoru’s thigh before he gets hands under him, lifts his ass up a little, and pulls his cheeks apart so that he can lick over Satoru’s hole.
Satoru moans, slaps a hand over his mouth to prevent anything even more embarrassing from coming out.
He can feel Suguru’s grin, his teeth against Satoru’s skin.
“Yeah?” He asks, lifts Satoru up higher so he can tug his rim open a little with his thumbs, flick his tongue inside. It’s a weird sensation. It’s a fucking good one. Satoru wants more.
“More.” He gasps.
“Another time I’ll do it for real,” Suguru murmurs, “I love doing that. Right now I wanna get my fingers in you though, watch you go all non verbal.”
Satoru’s brain is whirring. Another time???? is just bouncing around in there against a total white background. He wants to ask, but he feels a little nonverbal already. Suguru is working a dry finger against his hole, massaging but never really going in. He said he wasn’t going to rim Satoru, but he’s still kissing and licking places Satoru has never been touched before. He licks Satoru’s hole again, presses against his rim with a wet finger, and Satoru groans. Suguru bites a kiss into Satoru’s thigh before he lifts up, tapping Satoru’s hip like he’s telling Satoru to get in position. He looks behind him for the lube.
Satoru’s not sure what the protocol is– what do you do while you’re waiting for someone to lube up their fingers to stick in your ass? He hooks his arms under his knees and hikes his legs up so Suguru can get in there easier. It feels a little weird, how it spreads him, but he figures that’s a good thing.
Suguru glances at him and pauses.
“Jesus.” He says.
Satoru shifts. Was this wrong? He felt kinda like he looked silly but—
“Is this—” Satoru’s not sure what he wants to ask. It’s clearly not bad, given how Suguru’s looking at him.
“Fuck.” Suguru says and leans over to kiss Satoru’s knee. “I thought you were gonna roll over.”
“Oh.” Satoru’s face burns. “I can—”
“Don’t.” Suguru says, grabbing a pillow. He massages Satoru’s hip as Satoru lifts up and lets Suguru nestle the pillow under the small of his back. Then Suguru does the fucking thing again, tracing his fingertips up and down Satoru’s thighs, looking at him like he can’t believe what he’s seeing, like Satoru’s the best thing he’s ever seen. “Fuck.” Suguru says softly.
Satoru’s gonna ask what he means, but then one wet warm finger is dragging back and forth over his hole, just barely pushing in.
“More.” Satoru breathes, when Suguru’s been doing that for what feels like a long time and Satoru’s a little desperate.
“No.” Suguru says and does it again, “don’t be a brat.”
Satoru pouts at him. Brat is what he’s best at, when it’s Suguru. And Suguru’s just, like, playing with Satoru. Sliding his finger in up to the first knuckle, dragging it out. Satoru tries to push down to get more but Suguru presses on his hip to hold him still. He does that for a while, just this slow massaging of Satoru’s rim and fucking his finger in and out, a little deeper each time. Then he works two fingers into Satoru, twisting them and scissoring them. He gets them deep enough Satoru really wants it before he goes back to one finger. When he does two again he crooks them and, Jesus, it’s like he’s purposefully avoiding Satoru’s prostate.
“You’re a shit top, can’t even find it,” Satoru pants, trying to taunt even though he’s rolling his hips down on Suguru’s fingers because it feels fucking good so it’s probably not super effective.
“First of all, not a top, I switch,” Suguru says all chill like he doesn’t have two fingers in Satoru, “second of all—”
“Oh fuck—” Satoru gasps out, hips kicking.
Suguru stops almost as soon as he starts. He strokes Satoru’s prostate gentle and perfect and then removes his fingers and leaves Satoru with fucking nothing. It’s so good and frustrating and amazing all at once.
“Fuck you.” Satoru groans at him.
Suguru grins wickedly before he starts fucking Satoru with shallow strokes, one finger then two. He scissors his fingers and does this thing where he, like, drags them out spread, holding Satoru open so he can lick into him. Satoru straight up moans. It would be embarrassing how loud he’s being, except that it’s Suguru.
“Suguru,” he gasps.
Suguru does it again, then goes back to finger fucking him. Satoru is all over the place with how good it feels. Suguru’s fingers are different from Satoru’s, thicker, not as long. He’s kissing and biting at Satoru’s skin and his other hand is rubbing the base of Satoru’s dick, pressing on his stomach. It’s, like, unreasonably good. Suguru’s fingers are not hitting his prostate really, just the occasional purposeful touch, but it feels amazing and it’s making him want more, riling him up so good, and— fuck. Fuck.
“Shit, fuck, okay, you were right, I’m sorry,” Satoru pants, grabbing at Suguru’s wrist with one hand to try to hold him still so he can fuck down on his fingers, “I’m sorry, you’re right, the prep is good, this is so good, but please, please, fucking please, oh fuck— ah—”
Suguru seems real proud, smirk on his face and everything, when he lifts up and kisses Satoru. Satoru is about to say gross because Suguru just kissed his ass, but he wants to kiss Suguru pretty bad and it doesn’t actually feel gross. Suguru’s really into the kiss, sucks on Satoru’s tongue and bites his lip.
“Oh, oh, oh,” Satoru pants as Suguru presses against his prostate. His whines and his dick jerks, leaks on his stomach. The little zings of pleasure are becoming more all consuming, sparking over his stomach and his hips and his dick as Suguru fucks him with his fingers.
Suguru pulls back and sits on his heels, watching him. Satoru can’t keep his eyes open, can feel tears pricking at the corners as Suguru starts massaging his prostate with steady constant pressure. It feels so fucking good. He whines, toes curling as he digs his fingers into his legs.
“Fuck,” Suguru sounds choked. “Holy shit, ‘toru. Look at you.” Satoru can’t, but he appreciates the appreciation. Suguru is getting him just right with each thrust of his fingers and it’s so much, so good. He jolts on the bed as Suguru presses in hard and then eases up completely. Suguru holds him still when he tries to move, fucks him shallowly with his fingers, tugs at his rim.
“Oh please, please, please,” Satoru whimpers reaching for him, losing his grip on his legs, “fuck, please, Suguru.”
“Jesus.” Suguru says. “You want your dildo, you want—”
“No,” Suguru gasps, “your fingers, can you— please, I like your fingers, S’guru–”
Suguru’s kissing him. Satoru can’t really kiss back, it’s more like Suguru licking into his lax mouth than anything. He wants to kiss back. His brain and body are not working together here.
“You’re gonna make me cum,” he manages to sob when Suguru starts fucking him with three fingers, holy fucking shit, “you’re gonna make me cum, Suguru.”
“Yeah?” Suguru breathes against his mouth, travels down his body, biting his nipples, kissing his stomach. He never stops working his fingers, crooking them, fucking them in and out. “You going to cum like this for me?”
“I’m gonna cum,” Satoru slurs, blinks away tears as they lock eyes, “oh god—” He doesn’t understand the way Suguru is looking at him. Satoru’s not even doing anything, but Suguru’s looking at him like he’s amazing. He reaches for Suguru, clutches at his arm. His dick aches so bad, leaking fucking everywhere, and if he had any semblance of normal mind left he might like— “Oh fuck,” he chokes out as Suguru does something and then Satoru’s whole world falls apart.
It’s new and different every time– he thinks he knows what it’s gonna feel like and then he gets hit by it like a freight train or something. His body tries to curl up as he cums and he jerks against the bed with a cry. There’s too many feelings. It’s everywhere all at once and it just keeps going.
“Holy shit,” he dimly registers Suguru saying, “holy shit, Satoru, sweetheart—”
“S’guru” he manages. God, there’s cum on his face again, he thinks. He’s shaking so bad, every part of him is lit up. Suguru just keeps fucking his fingers in slowly as Satoru sobs and shakes. It’s fucking amazing. Satoru might still be cumming. It’s hard to, like, distinguish. “Oh fuck,” the words are all tangled in his mouth, “S’guru, I—”
Suguru drags his fingers out to play with Satoru’s rim, press on his perineum. Satoru tries to breathe. He doesn’t think he knows how to actually.
“Fuck,” Suguru whispers, sounding all broken up, “I’ve never— that’s so hot. I didn’t even touch your dick, ‘toru.” He trails his fingertip up Satoru’s cock which makes Satoru’s whole body jolt. He whimpers. “Shh, sorry, shh—” Suguru sounds so soft. “Too much?”
“No,” Satoru croaks, “no, s’really good.” He blinks open teary eyes to meet Suguru’s. “S’so good.” He slurs.
“Yeah?” Suguru asks. Satoru nods weakly and Suguru does it again, drags his knuckles up Satoru’s cock, circles his dick with loose fingers and strokes him. Satoru sobs and twists into the touch as Suguru leans up to kiss his neck, shuffling up the bed on his knees.
“S’guru,” Satoru says brokenly, clutching at him, “Suguru—”
“God,” Suguru whispers, “Satoru, I—” He wipes some cum off Satoru’s chin with a gentle finger and thumbs at Satoru’s mouth. Satoru opens it obediently. “Fuck.” Suguru breathes out as he slips his finger between Satoru’s lips, presses down on his tongue.
Satoru closes his mouth slow and sucks on Suguru’s finger, licks over the pad of it to taste his own cum. It’s so fucking hot, the way Suguru is watching him. Satoru feels all tingly from it. Suguru leans down and kisses him, dragging his finger out of Satoru’s mouth as he does. It takes a lot of concentration to try to kiss back, Satoru’s still shivering with aftershocks, which is maybe why it takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize Suguru is jerking his own dick. He doesn’t even know when Suguru pulled it out.
“I want,” Satoru slurs, lifting a hand up helplessly, batting at Suguru’s cock. God, he can’t move right. He had a whole plan. He was gonna give Suguru a fucking amazing orgasm, show him that this whole hear me out thing was worth his time. Satoru hadn’t planned on being fucked to a new plane of existence, although maybe he should have planned for it. He definitely should have. “Want to—” Satoru shudders as another aftershock courses through him. “Suguru, let me.” He pleads.
Suguru stops moving his hand with a stuttered inhale, holds his dick with a tight circle of fingers at the base like just looking at Satoru, hearing him, is gonna make him cum or something.
“I’m not gonna last,” Suguru’s trembling a little, “Fuck, can I cum on you? Is that—?”
Satoru nods and then nods again to make sure it’s clear. He tangles his fingers under the head of Suguru’s cock and squeezes.
“Please.” He whispers.
Apparently that pretty much does it for Suguru because he tenses up, mouth dropping open, and cums. It gets on Satoru’s chest but mostly on his face.
“Fuck,” Suguru gasps, “sorry, shit—”
Satoru’s glad his eyes were half-closed. The thought is barely there though, just in the back of his brain. Mostly he’s thinking holy fuck that was hot. He’s speed running the ‘sex with a man experiences’ here, so maybe it should feel weird or something but, fuck, it’s just really hot. He wants Suguru to do it again, like, purposefully.
“Sorry,” Suguru repeats, wiping Satoru’s eyelids with shaking hands.
“No, s’good, it felt good, like it.” Satoru manages.
Suguru cups his face and Satoru assumes that means there’s no cum on his eyelids. He opens his eyes to see Suguru looking down at him like he’s never seen anything better. Satoru runs a finger through the cum on his cheek, pushes his finger into his mouth. He sucks on it, tasting Suguru. He feels giddy, out of his body.
“Holy fuck.” Suguru breathes, grabbing a tissue to clean Satoru’s face more. His dick twitches against Satoru like if immediately getting hard again was an option Suguru would be halfway there.
“Uh-huh,” Satoru says as best he can. He shifts on the bed a little, reeling. Suguru grabs his opposite thigh and tugs. Satoru squishes against him which, gross, he’s probably getting cum all over Suguru, but Suguru’s got Satoru’s leg over his thighs and his fingers are pressing gently against Satoru’s rim, one pushing in. “Oh god.” Satoru chokes out and buries his face into Suguru’s shoulder as he kicks his hips back. It’s too much in the best way possible. Satoru’s definitely having an out of body experience. Suguru fucks his fingers in careful, one then two. “We— do this again,” Satoru slurs, rolling his hips back, “wanna come on your cock,” he adds without thinking about it because he really wants that, keeps thinking about it, and the tiny brain to mouth filter he usually has is completely shut off.
“Fuck,” Suguru pulls his fingers out and massages Satoru’s rim, “yeah, fuck, we can do that.” He sounds as out of it as Satoru. Satoru almost says yes please, he’s so delirious. He bites at Suguru’s skin and makes a low sound. “So hot, ‘toru.” Suguru whispers.
Satoru hums happily and burrows into Suguru’s neck. Fuck, he’s tired. Good tired, like he could float off forever. He feels so fucking good. He strokes his fingers over Suguru’s chest and tries to ground himself.
“Hey.” Suguru says, slaps his ass when he doesn’t answer. Satoru grumbles at him but doesn’t pull away or put any effort into waking up until Suguru makes him.
It occurs to him later that, if this happens again, it's no longer Satoru’s hear-me-out proposal for the making-prep-good thing, but— it’s whatever, right? Yeah. Plenty of friends fuck. Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. It’s a common thing.
There's no reason to get all worked up.
Shoko looks at him in horror. She’s definitely all worked up. Utahime pretty much upends the champagne bottle into her mimosa with a long suffering sound.
“What do you mean,” Shoko says icily, “that Suguru gave you the best orgasm of your life.”
“We had a sexual encounter.” Satoru says. Again. Suguru and I had a sexual encounter, it was the best orgasm of my life, that’s what he said. Neither of them seem impressed by this. “Is that…bad?” He guesses. “Oh look, Nanami is here. And Yuu. Hi Yuu!”
“Was this a one-time thing.” Shoko hisses at him, grabbing his hand. “Was Suguru okay?”
“Huh?” Satoru says, waving when he sees Suguru enter the restaurant. “Yeah? We passed out and then got green juice the next morning, it was disgusting. I hate green juice. Then he kicked my ass in the gym. It was arm day— thank god I wasn’t doing glutes, am I right?”
“I hate you.” Shoko says to him seriously. She doesn’t. She loves him.
Satoru’s coming back from the bathroom later and stops short when he sees Shoko and Suguru through the window because, lowkey, it looks like they’re arguing? They clearly went to grab a cigarette, a vice Suguru allows himself once a week if that. Shoko’s got her cigarette lit and everything, but it’s just burning while they discuss something intently. Shoko stabs at Suguru with a finger. Suguru kinda shrugs. He says something real emphatically. They go back and forth and then Shoko shakes her head and frowns. Suguru bends down and puts his head on Shoko’s shoulder, which is super cute. She rubs the back of his neck. Satoru doesn’t know what’s going on, but Suguru will tell him if it’s a big deal. Besides, Shoko’s always been the best of the three of them at problem-solving and common sense or whatever. She’s, like, their first line of defense. He gets it.
They both seem fine when they come in. Suguru messes up Satoru’s hair like a little bitch so Satoru messes Suguru’s up too and calls him a little bitch. Suguru tells him he’s a little bitch. Utahime calls them both misogynistic. They ignore her while they rearrange each other’s hair back to normal. No problems, no awkwardness. Everything is fine with the world. Satoru makes a face at Suguru and Suguru makes one back and, yeah, they’re good.
Sex doesn’t have to change anything. Not even the best sex Satoru’s ever had. Not even if they have sex again. And they are, Satoru thinks, going to have sex again.
God, Satoru can’t wait to have sex with Suguru again.
The thing is, a week passes and they don’t have sex again. In fact, Suguru doesn’t even bring it up. It’s like Satoru had an extremely fucking vivid dream, only he didn’t— Suguru’s fingers were inside him and he made Satoru cum so hard he saw a parallel dimension, so what the fuck?
Maybe Suguru doesn’t remember saying that he would fuck Satoru again, doesn’t remember Satoru saying very explicitly that he wanted him to. Or maybe he does and wasn’t as into it as Satoru so he’s trying to be polite and never mention it again. God, what a fucking awful thought.
Satoru isn’t sure what to do. Should he ask? How is this supposed to work? He googles and gets nothing. He creates a burner Reddit account and gets back a lot of you’re gay. He’s like yeah. Fucking late to the party, buds. He tries to explain that he wants Suguru to fuck him, he’s not concerned or confused about the gay thing.
Someone else responds to his post asking if he’s considered he might be into the friend he wants to fuck. He’s like yeah, duh— it’s Suguru. Only he doesn’t call him Suguru, he’s using the code name Joe. His code name is Travis.
of course im into him, he says, my man, it’s //joe//. i love that dude.
not a man. also no, i mean, yes, but— you want to date your friend, user sugaslilnose responds, like you are in love, you just said that.
apologies, my friend, simply how i talk but ill be more careful, Satoru says. i love joe but im not in love with him
are you sure? user sugaslilnose asks.
Satoru scoffs. It’s his feelings. Of course he’s sure. He loves Suguru. Suguru is the best guy in the whole universe.
joe and i are connected beyond a normal romantic relationship, he explains, he’s literally the other half of my soul.
that feels like what im saying, like, that’s really gay, sugaslilnose says. Somehow the text post seems patient and also vaguely condescending like Satoru’s missing something important.
im gay, he responds, so duh.
nvmd just ask him to fuck u, keep us updated, sugaslilnose says.
Finally, some good fucking advice.
“So, here me out,” Satoru starts. Now, obviously it’s fine if Suguru doesn’t want to do anything with Satoru again. Sure, Satoru wants to fuck around with Suguru, and Suguru had seemed into it at the time, but now maybe he’s not and that’s chill. Satoru’s not going to try to make Suguru fuck him out of some sort of weird obligation or something. He just has to know. He’s not good at not knowing. So his plan is to ask if Suguru wants to fuck around again and get a clear answer. That way the little voice in his head going you’re the worst lay suguru ever had, he hated every second will shut the fuck up maybe. “Was fucking me that bad?” Satoru asks, completely throwing his own plan haywire.
Suguru legit freezes. He stares at Satoru in something like horror, leaned forward, water bottle in his hand just hovering over the coffee table because he was in the middle of picking it up.
“Okay.” Satoru breathes out through his teeth. “Damn.” He’s kind of offended. He’s not a bad lay but, if he was, it’s because it was his first time with a guy. It was outside of his normal range of experience. Suguru should be more, like, understanding.
“It was not bad.” Suguru says slowly, sounding really confused. “Alternatively, Satoru, it was really fucking good. Are you kidding?”
Satoru brightens. “Nice.” He says happily to Suguru. “For me too.”
“Okay.” Suguru says and they look at each other for a minute.
“So—” Satoru starts and gets nowhere.
“I didn’t want you to feel forced.” Suguru says, all in a rush. “Like if I brought it up again or whatever. I know you’re like—” he waves his hands which Satoru interprets as learning you’re a massive bottom and like when i cum on your face.
Or maybe he means exploring sexually.
That’s really sweet, actually. Satoru should have figured that. Of course Suguru would be considerate and want to make sure it was Satoru’s idea if they fucked again, make sure that Satoru was 100% comfortable. What a fucking guy.
“So hear me out,” Satoru repeats, back on track with his plan, “and at any point say no or Satoru shut the fuck up and done deal, won’t mention it again.” Satoru is glad to know getting fucked is still on the table, but he’s been thinking and wanted to throw something else out there.
“Okay.” Suguru says seriously as he unscrews his water bottle cap.
“Can I blow you?” Satoru asks with terrible timing, right as Suguru takes a drink. Suguru chokes, which is funny only because he’s fine and not actually choking, just coughing. “Hah.” Satoru says. “Go to swallowing school, dumbass.” Which is funny because of the blowjob thing so he winks at Suguru.
“Why.” Suguru says very carefully, like he’s confused as fuck. “That has nothing to do with–” he gestures vaguely at Satoru’s lower half and, presumably, Satoru’s ass and thus his prostate. It does not have anything to do with that. Why is a valid question.
Satoru is surprisingly unprepared.
“Well, ” Satoru says, “so—” He does not have a why beyond that was the best sex i’ve ever had and i want to see you cum again. Also, he wants Suguru’s dick in his mouth. Not that he’s gonna say it but two nights ago he was using his wand and mouthing at his dildo pretending it was Suguru’s cock. He had it suction-cupped to the wall while he sucked at it and everything. He can’t share that. He has no excuse for it. He has no excuse for anything. It’s like Satoru realized how hot Suguru was and now he has a hair trigger for the guy.
Suguru is still staring at him. Satoru keeps talking, assuming his brain will catch up and make this into a real reason.
“I’ve never done it before, what if I’m bad at it? You know how I hate being bad at stuff. Could be good for me to practice. And for you hopefully. No promises though, I really might be bad at it.”
“Practice.” Suguru repeats, sounding sort of spacey. Satoru’s knocking this out of the park for sure. Suguru frowns. “Is it just because I’m here?” He asks. “And gay?” Not knocking it out of the park then.
“No,” Satoru sputters, “what the fuck. I told you— you’re my best friend. I trust you. Also, I want to. You're hot, man, come on.” Suguru blinks when Satoru says that, like he doesn’t know that he’s hot as shit. “Plus you could teach me.” Satoru adds with a nod. “Generally speaking, even though I may be annoying about it, I do listen to you.”
“Teach you.” Suguru repeats in that same spacey voice. He looks at Satoru directly before he adds in a quiet questioning voice. “You think I’m hot?”
Satoru gives him a look. He’s not going to respond to obvious fishing for compliments. Suguru keeps looking at him though, like he’s really not sure that Satoru actually thinks he’s hot.
“Duh.” Satoru says. “My man.” He gestures at Suguru and repeats emphatically, “Duh.”
Suguru blinks. His eyes are still so far away. Satoru’s going to tell him to think on it and they can reconvene at a later date, and then Suguru just goes,
“Okay.”
After he says it he seems startled. Satoru gives him a look like are you sure? Suguru thinks for a second and then nods firmly, even though his voice still sounds like he thinks he’s dreaming when he answers.
“Okay, yeah, you can blow me.”
“Great.” Satoru says, picks up a cushion and slides over on the couch so he can get between Suguru’s legs easier.
“What, like, now?” Suguru jolts a little at Satoru’s hand on his thigh.
“Oh.” Satoru says, in the process of tossing the pillow on the floor. “But you showered and you’re clearly spending the night and we’ve been arguing about what movie to watch for an hour so we’re not gonna watch a movie, just argue about it. I thought maybe— not now is fine, you can say no, dude. I’m not gonna force a blowjob on you.” He starts to remove his hand.
“No, shit, right now is— fuck.” Suguru says.
“Real eloquent, bud.” Satoru says with the smirk he knows annoys Suguru the most. It works. Suguru rolls his eyes and looks at him fondly and whatever tension was in his body seems to leak away. “It’s really okay, right?” Satoru asks, feeling worried suddenly. “I’m not taking advantage or—”
“I’m the one getting a blowjob here,” Suguru says, cups Satoru’s jaw in that way he does where his thumb slides across Satoru’s cheekbone and it makes Satoru want to nuzzle into Suguru’s hand like he’s asking for pets. He nuzzles into Suguru’s hand and Suguru strokes his cheek some more. “Surely I’d be taking advantage of you.”
“Nope.” Satoru says. He taps at Suguru’s hips and helps him shuffle out of his sweats. Then he slides to the ground between Suguru’s thighs, adjusting the pillow under his knees. He runs his hands up and down Suguru’s bared skin. He’s gratified to see Suguru is already a little chubbed up in his boxers.
He brushes his fingers over Suguru’s covered dick and Suguru inhales sharply. Satoru likes that, grins at him. Suguru chews on his lower lip and watches him with wide eyes. Satoru winks and then returns to business. He traces the shape of Suguru’s cock through his boxers, finds the head to press on, rub at, with his thumb. Suguru makes a muffled sound when Satoru squeezes him, like he’s stopping himself from being loud. That won’t do, but Satoru will deal with it later. Satoru shifts forward and nuzzles at Suguru’s covered dick, kisses him over the fabric. He likes when girls do that to him. Also, he realizes, he likes doing it, likes letting his lips catch on the rough material and feeling how hard Suguru is getting under his mouth, the heat of him as he stiffens up. Satoru licks at the damp spot that’s forming and Suguru sorta whimpers. “I have no idea what I’m doing, man.” Satoru says, tucking his fingers into Suguru’s waistband. “Let me know if it’s bad.”
“Not bad.” Suguru says, voice all tight and turned on. Satoru glances up and sees Suguru white-knuckling the couch.
“Bud, you can touch me.” Satoru informs him.
“Can you please stop calling me bud during sex?” Suguru asks, lifting up his hips as Satoru drags his boxer briefs down. It’s a little awkward because Satoru wants them gone-gone, but he’s in the way so he has to move to make it happen.
“Nah.” Satoru says once the offending clothing item is gone.
He looks for a second, hands soothing up and down Suguru’s thighs. Satoru touched Suguru’s dick last time but he was so out of it that he doesn’t really remember. He’s going to take his time, this time around. Suguru’s fully hard now, leaking, foreskin pulled back. He inhales harshly when Satoru touches him. Satoru strokes a finger up Suguru’s cock. He spits into his hand just in case and then jerks him off for a bit, changing up the speed, the tightness, using just a circle of his fingers then his whole palm. It’s an adjustment, at first. He’s jerked off plenty, but the angles all different and Suguru’s thicker than him, fits in his hand different. The ‘this is maybe awkward’ goes away quick because it’s really hot, stroking Suguru’s dick and listening to the little sounds he’s making, all muffled like he’s still trying to hold them back. The head of Suguru’s cock is wet and red and Satoru wants it in his mouth.
Suguru groans when Satoru places a kiss on his cockhead. Satoru tightens his fingers on the ridge below the head as he tongues softly at the slit. Suguru gasps out a shaky fuck, fingers twitching on the couch. Satoru’s dick jerks in his sweats at the taste of Suguru on his tongue. He mouths at the head of Suguru’s cock, getting a feel for it, letting it drag over his lips, circling the head with his tongue, licking at it. He glances up to see Suguru watching him, wide-eyed like he’s in pain or something.
“Fuck.” Suguru says emphatically when their eyes meet. “Fuck.”
He’s still not touching Satoru. Satoru sucks Suguru’s cock into his mouth for a second and then pulls off to look pointedly at Suguru’s hand. He’s not sure what he expects— Suguru wouldn’t just choke him on his cock, but he’s not expecting the incredibly gentle touch he gets. Suguru glances his fingers over Satoru’s cheek, rubs his fingertips on Satoru’s jaw. His thumb presses on the corner of Satoru’s mouth so Satoru opens it, jacks Suguru off while he sucks on his thumb. When he releases it with a little pop Suguru shudders.
Satoru gets his mouth back on Suguru and tries to set up a rhythm. It’s a little distracting, how Suguru keeps petting his hair and thumbing at his cheek. Heat is pooling in Satoru’s stomach because of it. Honestly, Satoru has a lot of respect for the women who gave him amazing blowjobs in the past because like— he’s got to cover his teeth and his mouth is open so wide and he’s already reaching his limit even though he’s not even halfway down. His lips are bumping against his hand where he’s trying to hold Suguru steady and make sure he doesn’t choke himself and he’s also trying to jerk off the part of Suguru’s cock that’s not in his mouth and, god, Suguru keeps touching him. Satoru literally asked for him to but, fuck, it feels so good. The thick heavy fullness of Suguru in his mouth feels good too, the ache in his jaw. He wants more. He takes Suguru down deeper and chokes, has to pull off, turning to the side and coughing as his eyes water.
“You okay? Hey—” Suguru thumbs away a stray tear from Satoru’s cheek.
“Yeah.” Satoru croaks and, oh, he sounds like he’s been sucking dick. That’s new.
He wriggles away from Suguru’s hand and sinks back down on his cock. He’s not going to be able to take the whole thing, deep throating is a thing for a different and distant day, but he wants to. He tries to go as far as before, maybe a little farther. He wants to make Suguru feel good. His mouth hits his fingers and, God, he’s making a mess, spit is dripping everywhere. He blinks back tears and tries to not pull off so quick, give Suguru something to fuck into, but it’s a little bit of a lost cause. He twitches and pulls back, tries to suck in air as he coughs. Suguru grabs him by the jaw and stops him before he can try it again.
“What?” Satoru gasps. God, someone should have told him that sucking dick feels this good. He jerks Suguru, rubs his thumb over the head of Suguru’s cock, works his foreskin a little, presses on his slit. Suguru’s hips kick up. “Wanna. Let me do it,” Satoru tries, leaning forward.
“Fuck, ‘toru, hey, you said I was teaching you,” Suguru sounds a little out of breath. Nice, Satoru thinks distantly. He did that. “So ask me what I like.” Suguru tugs at Satoru’s hair gently.
“What do you like?” Satoru gets out, has to clear his throat in the middle. He rubs the sticky head of Suguru’s dick on his lips, up over his cheeks so he can kiss the shaft.
“I like that.” Suguru says. “Yeah, real slow like that, make me want it.” Satoru listens, presses kisses to the shaft of Suguru’s dick, teases with his tongue. He glances up at Suguru for confirmation and Suguru sucks in a sharp breath. “I like when you look at me,” he says, all gravely like his throat is dry, “fuck, I really like it. You look good like this, ‘toru.” Satoru tries to subtly press against his own aching dick. He’s not subtle. “Yeah?” Suguru asks. “It’s getting you off too, huh?” Satoru nods as best he can as he sucks the head of Suguru’s dick. “That’s good,” Suguru whispers, “you look good with a cock in your mouth, ‘toru.” Satoru groans around Suguru’s dick, pulling off so he can lick him from base to tip, working right below the head of Suguru’s cock with his tongue as he sucks on the head. Suguru’s hips jerk. “That’s so good.” He breathes and it goes right to Satoru’s dick.
“Frenulum.” He tells Suguru, pulling off. He knows shit. “What about— don’t you want me to, like, choke on it?”
Suguru shrugs, which is so interesting to Satoru.
“I like that sometimes, but I really like—” he wraps his hand around Satoru’s and gets Satoru jerking him slow and steady. His other hand slides into Satoru’s hair, like he needs to ground himself or something. Satoru tugs away from it so it pulls and Suguru blinks down at him. “You like that?” He rasps. Satoru nods, starts sucking Suguru’s cock again, and Suguru tugs hard, hips kicking up. “Yeah, like that, god, make it wet,” Satoru does, lets more spit pool in his mouth as he works the head of Suguru’s cock and Suguru groans. Satoru runs his tongue over the ridge, working it as he slides down an inch or so. “Fuck, your mouth feels so good,” Suguru says with this little, like, whimper that makes Satoru reach down and tuck his sweats under his balls so he can get his dick out, jerk himself a few times. “Play with my foreskin,” Suguru tells him, “and, fuck, right there under the head, ‘toru that’s so good, it feels good, you’re so good.”
Jesus.
“I think I have a praise kink.” Satoru manages, pulling off and sliding his hand up to keep massaging the head of Suguru’s cock. Suguru chokes out a laugh, thumbs at Satoru’s cheekbone. Satoru presses a wet kiss to the shaft of Suguru’s dick, sucks at his balls. He drags his mouth back up, tugs Suguru’s foreskin up gently so it covers a little of the head of his cock. He slides his tongue under and circles it slow, looks up at Suguru while he does.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Suguru says as Satoru slips the tip of Suguru’s dick back into his mouth, playing with the slit with his tongue, licking under his foreskin. He makes it as wet as he can. “Jesus, yeah, like that, ‘toru–” Suguru sounds out of his mind, hands tight in Satoru’s hair. “God, fuck— you feel so good, baby.”
Satoru has to tug on his own dick a few times at that because holy fuck. Baby.
Satoru swallows Suguru down a little more as he plays with his balls and Suguru outright moans. He works Suguru with his hand and mouth in tandem, sets up a rhythm. The sound Suguru makes when he does is obscene. Satoru wants to hear it on loop.
“You gonna cum?” Satoru asks, pulling off and jerking him fast. It’s all messy and wet and he’s not sure he’s good at this, like maybe it’s too sloppy, but Suguru seems into it. Satoru presses a kiss to Suguru’s leaking cockhead.
“Yeah, yeah, I— fuck, oh fuck,” Suguru squeezes his eyes shut tight then opens them again, looking down at Satoru. Satoru holds his gaze as much as he can as he slides down Suguru’s cock, tries to have his tongue pressed against the vein and keep the suction tight. He gets pretty far this time and Suguru’s hips kick up, choking him a little. It feels nice. He hums. “‘toru,” Suguru gasps and pushes at his shoulder frantically, “toru, shit, I— pull off, I’m gonna—”
Satoru is absolutely not pulling off.
He jerks Suguru a little faster and sucks the head of his cock hard. Suguru makes this straight up wounded sound when he comes. It’s wild. It’s an overload of sensations. Suguru’s fingers are tight-tight in Satoru’s hair and Satoru can feel Suguru’s dick pulsing in his hand as his mouth floods with cum. It’s hot, salty and bitter, and probably cum never tastes, like, good but it feels good. He chokes a little because, even though he knew it was gonna happen, it still takes him by surprise. The first spurt hits the back of his throat. He swallows once, and then tries to hold it in his mouth. Is Suguru cumming a lot? Satoru doesn’t know. It feels like so much. He likes it. Suguru’s curled over him a little, protective-like, and he likes that too.
“‘toru,” Suguru says, half a sob. Satoru is so into it. His dick is aching, he wants to get off, doesn’t want to stop sucking Suguru’s dick. “‘toru, baby, Satoru–” Suguru pulls him off, panting and wild-eyed, face flushed.
Suguru gags a little, throat working and tears in his eyes, but he doesn’t swallow. He opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue so Suguru can see. He likes when girls show him. Suguru probably likes it too.
“Fuck–” Suguru says and sounds broken. Bullseye.
Then Suguru does something Satoru hasn’t done to a girl, which is cup Satoru’s face and pull him up into a really deep kiss before Satoru can even swallow. He was planning to, but this is even better. He swallows some and the rest Suguru is licking out of his mouth. He’s shaky, like Satoru made him cum real good. Satoru lifts up into the kiss and strokes Suguru’s softening sticky dick one more time because he wants to do that all over again or forever maybe.
“C’mere,” Suguru gasps and tugs Satoru up and into his lap. He gets a hand on Satoru’s dick and squeezes just right, starts jerking him off. It feels so fucking good that Satoru’s gonna cum in, like, thirty seconds flat. “That felt so good, ‘toru.” Suguru tells him in between kisses. “Christ, you made me feel so good. You liked it?”
Satoru nods and buries his face in the crook of Suguru’s neck. He’s close, abs clenching and hips kicking forward into Suguru’s hand. Suguru presses a kiss to his temple and keeps whispering about how good Satoru was, how hot he was, how good he looked with Suguru’s cock in his mouth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck—” Satoru whisper-chants. Suguru slides his free hand into Satoru’s sweats, palms his ass. He drags his dry finger against Satoru’s hole and says, hot and heated and right in Satoru’s ear,
“Cum for me, baby?”
It’s like a fucking cheat code. Satoru cums with a gasp. Suguru works him through it like his whole purpose in life is making Satoru orgasm so hard he can’t breathe. He clutches at Suguru, tugging at his hair.
“You like being called baby, huh?” Suguru says when Satoru has mostly regained the ability to think.
Satoru shrugs as nonchalantly as he can.
“Maybe.” He says, wrinkling his nose. “Or at least when it’s you saying it.” He’s gonna say something else, but Suguru starts kissing him again and he gets distracted.
Suguru strips off Satoru’s shirt, pushes him onto his back and then gets his sweats off. He lifts up and takes off his own shirt. God, his body is unbelievable. Satoru runs his hands over Suguru’s chest and his arms, tugs him back down so their mouths meet. Suguru strokes Satoru’s dick as they kiss and Satoru jolts. He’s still kinda hard actually, which seems unreasonable. Suguru slides off the couch between Satoru’s legs and tugs him forward by his thighs, pushes Satoru’s knees up to his chest.
“You cleaned up good down here?” Suguru asks, stroking Satoru’s ass and tugging his cheeks apart a little.
“Uh-huh,” Satoru says. He cleaned up just in case. He’s been doing it every time Suguru comes over and also sometimes even when he’s not seeing Suguru because that wand thing is amazing.
“Good.” Suguru says. He pulls Satoru’s legs over his shoulders and spreads Satoru’s cheeks, thumb rubbing over his taint. He blows softly over Satoru’s hole and Satoru jolts, smacks his hand on a pillow before he remembers it’s tacky with cum.
“I’m going to have to get this couch fucking steam-cleaned.” Satoru gasps.
“Mm,” Suguru says and tugs Satoru’s hole open with both of his thumbs and spits right on it.
Satoru jerks and makes a really embarrassing sound.
“S’good,” he slurs, when Suguru meets his eyes.
Suguru licks over his hole with the flat of his tongue before he starts to lick properly inside Satoru and– holy shit. Satoru has never felt anything like it. He arches up off the couch and into Suguru’s mouth, whacks Suguru hard with his heel by accident.
Suguru makes a vaguely pained sound and looks up at him disapprovingly. It’s not Satoru’s fault though. It’s Suguru’s, actually. He brought it on himself. Satoru pants down at him.
“Be good.” Suguru says, touching Satoru’s leg with a light hand.
Satoru’s dick jerks and he makes a weird little helpless ah sound in response to that.
Suguru raises an eyebrow at him.
“Can you be good?” Suguru asks, like he really wants to know, like he really wants Satoru to be able to be good for him. Satoru wants to be able to be good for him. He whimpers without meaning to. “Yeah?” Suguru asks, looking very into it. Satoru’s so glad everyone’s learning so much about him tonight. He bites his lip to stop himself from promising Suguru he can be so good for him. “Can you, baby?” Suguru asks, massages Satoru’s rim and presses the tip of his thumb in.
“Yeah,” Satoru croaks, “yeah, I can— I’ll be good for you, S’guru, I–”
Suguru grins before he starts to work his tongue back inside Satoru, and holy fucking shit. Satoru’s head is spinning. He doesn’t even understand the sounds he’s making. Suguru and his fucking tongue, Jesus. He tries to lift up into Suguru’s mouth but Suguru stops him from moving with a heavy arm over his hips and oh– oh. Satoru clutches at his couch again. Who cares, honestly. Forget steam cleaning, Satoru will literally buy a new couch if it means Suguru will keep doing this. Actually, fuck his couch. He has never cared less about anything in his whole entire life.
“Please don’t stop,” he manages to beg, reaching to touch the top of Suguru’s head, threading his fingers into Suguru’s hair. Suguru digs his fingers into Satoru’s skin and doesn’t, not until Satoru, like, ascends to another plane of existence. Suguru wrings another two orgasms out of Satoru and then cums on his face again.
It’s fucking aces.
So Satoru is pretty sure they’re on the same page here. Sex friends. Friends who fuck. Suguru had slept over and everything had been normal the next morning, except for Satoru’s couch which really did need serious cleaning.
Satoru is like— nice. Excellent. Things are good. He updates his reddit friends that all is well.
Only then another week passes, they hang out, they sleep over at each other’s places, and— they do not fuck. Satoru knows he should bring it up but, like, damn. He’s getting a complex about it, you know? Like, what happened to the whole calling him baby thing? The whole you make me cum so hard thing? Satoru knows that it’s not that the sex is bad. First of all, Suguru said it wasn’t. Second of all, Suguru very clearly didn’t have a problem with Satoru’s first attempt at a blowjob, and then he got off again from rimming Satoru within an inch of his life, so like?
Satoru frowns.
wyd, he texts Suguru because he has every right to bother Suguru at 11:23pm on a Wednesday.
Suguru doesn’t answer right away. Satoru frowns at his phone and flicks through Netflix and reads three Reddit posts and considers jerking off. He’s fumbling for his lube and stuff when Suguru texts back.
[suguru]
why
Rudeass.
[satoru]
rudeass
[suguru]
lol
wyd
Satoru frowns at his phone.
[satoru]
jerkin it
He says, even though he’s not.
[suguru]
really?
Satoru considers.
[satoru]
maybe
why do u care
[suguru]
are you really
[satoru]
maybe
Satoru feels a little petulant, sue him. He glares at his phone and then glares harder because Suguru doesn’t answer, doesn’t even type like he’s trying to respond, no ellipses to be seen. Now Satoru feels real petulant. He glares at his wand, even though it’s never been anything but kind to him. He switches to glaring at the dildo he hasn’t used except to mouth at because, lowkey, maybe it surprised him how big it seemed at first, and then because he thought he was gonna get dicked down by Suguru.
“Jerk.” Satoru mutters. He can get off by himself just fucking fine. Who even cares if Suguru wants to fuck around with him again. Not Satoru, that’s for sure.
Suguru calls him. Satoru stares at his phone for a second before his brain catches up. He answers, still feeling vaguely annoyed and upset for unplaceable reasons.
“Hello?” He mutters.
“Hear me out,” Suguru says quietly. Satoru sits bolt upright in bed.
“Okay.” He says. “Listening ears on.”
“You’re not even jerking off,” Suguru says, disapprovingly or something.
“Well, I was gonna.” Satoru frowns at the phone even though Suguru can’t see him.
“Yeah?” Suguru asks.
“Yeah.” Satoru says. “Hanging up now if you have nothing useful to say.”
“I keep thinking about fucking you,” Suguru says which, holy shit, okay.
“You do?” Satoru asks after a second. “Why haven’t you— I thought it was obvious I want you to.”
“I—” Suguru pauses like he’s not sure what to say. “I don’t want to take advantage of you—”
“I’m telling you you’re not.” Satoru says, cutting him off. “I told you that you wouldn’t be. I fucking asked, bud. I want us to— I want —” God. He’s, like, embarrassed. His words are a mess. He breathes in, then out.
“What do you want?” Suguru asks softly.
“What do you want?” Satoru tosses back. “You’re just going along with whatever I say. Tell me what you want— are you just humoring me?”
“Having sex is pretty intense for humoring someone.” Suguru says.
Satoru makes a hmph sound at him.
“You’d do anything for me.” He informs Suguru.
“Yeah.” Suguru agrees in this real quiet tone. Satoru shivers, he doesn’t know why. “I want to make you feel good.” Suguru says. “I really like making you feel good, ‘toru.”
“Gay,” Satoru tells him, but he knows Suguru heard the way his breath hitched. “What else?” He demands.
“Watching you cum on my fingers was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Suguru says in that same low voice. “I keep jerking off thinking about it, thinking about the way you looked with my cock in your pretty mouth.”
“Fuck.” Satoru says. He palms himself through his boxers. “You like my mouth? Like making me cum?”
“Yeah,” Suguru says, voice all tight, “fuck, I—after you asked me about stuff that first time, ‘toru, I—” He pauses. Satoru’s dick twitches under his hand.
“Did I turn you on?” Satoru whispers.
“I jerked off after you left.” Suguru admits quietly.
“Fuck.” Satoru breathes as he tries to imagine it, Suguru in his kitchen or maybe against his door, like he couldn’t wait, like Satoru got to him that much. “Wish I’d stayed.”
Suguru laughs a little.
“Please tell me you’re touching yourself too,” Satoru blurts out, “because if I’m jerking it alone on the phone with you that makes me a creep. I’ve been plenty creepy.”
“How have you been creepy?” Suguru asks. “Yeah, ‘toru, I’m touching myself. I’m going slow. I still got my jeans on.”
“Take ‘em off.” Satoru says, getting his dick out. “I don’t have mine on.”
“Impatient.” Suguru chides.
“That’s me.” Satoru says and puts in his AirPods and tosses his phone to the side. He opens the bottle of lube right by the mic. “ASMR.” He tells Suguru. “Thanks for visiting my channel.”
“Shut up.” Suguru says, but Satoru hears the harsh exhale. He lubes up his fingers and palms his balls before he circles his rim with a wet finger. “Go slow, ‘toru.” Suguru says, like he can see that Satoru is about to not go slow.
“Maybe.” Satoru breathes, pushing the tip of his finger in.
“What are you doing?” Suguru asks. “What did you do that was creepy, ‘toru?”
“I’m going slow,” Satoru says, “I’m just doing the thing you do, the, um— fuck. Fair warning, I’m bad at phone sex. You’re in for a tough time, bud.” Suguru snorts, which makes Satoru smile because he can imagine the exact face Suguru is making, ever so fond. He pushes his finger in a little more while he thinks about the way Suguru looks at him. “I thought about you while I jerked off— isn’t that creepy?” Satoru offers.
“I know that already,” Suguru answers, “didn’t feel creepy, felt hot. Besides, isn’t that what started this? You having a Suguru can make the prep good fantasy after we talked?”
“Eh.” Satoru says, pushing his finger in deeper. “God, this feels better when you do it. The angle, your fingers.” He squirms, starts to add another finger, circling it around his rim.
“Go slow,” Suguru says, “one finger–”
Satoru huffs at him.
“It started,” he tells Suguru, “because I was thinking about you making out with a guy while I jerked off, so then I watched some gay porn and decided to stick my fingers in my ass to try it out. Only I thought about you fucking me when I did and that’s when I came. Then we talked and then, frankly bud, I went off the rails. I had that dildo you saw, you remember?” He waits for Suguru to make an affirmative sound, “Fucked myself with my wand and had it stuck to my wall so I could suck on it, pretend it was you. I came so hard I cried and that is why I asked if I could blow you and now I am putting another finger in, fuck you.”
Suguru is real quiet and then all he says is–
“Yeah?”
–but it’s so aroused that a shiver courses through Satoru’s whole body.
“Yeah.” He whispers, pressing two fingers in.
“Were you gonna think about me while you fucked yourself tonight?” Suguru asks, voice low and dangerous. God, Satoru wants him here.
“Uh-huh,” Satoru gasps. He shifts so that he can scissor his fingers better, feel the stretch.
“You like that one? It makes you feel good?” Suguru asks.
“I haven’t used it,” Satoru gets out, “I was a little— it’s big.” He squirms against his hand. “I’ve only had the wand, your fingers.”
“If you can’t take that how are you gonna take my cock?” Suguru asks like it’s nothing, like he’s asking about the weather. Satoru bites his lip to stop himself from making an incredibly embarrassing sound.
“I—” Satoru doesn’t know what to say. “It’s you.” He finally manages. “You’ll make me take it and you’ll make it good, won’t you?”
Suguru exhales. It’s half Satoru’s name and half something feral. Satoru smiles, feels a little wild. He’s always been good at that when it’s Suguru. Giving as good as he’s getting.
“Fuck, yeah, I’ll— yeah, ‘toru. I’ll make it good.”
He’s definitely got his dick out, Satoru can hear the slick sounds of skin on skin. Suguru groans a little and Satoru thinks he’s probably stopped moving his hand. Teasing himself. God.
“Wanna fuck yourself open on it for me? Let me hear you?” Suguru asks and he’s really asking. Satoru could go no thanks and Suguru wouldn’t miss a beat.
“I was gonna pretend I was riding you.” Satoru admits, starts circling his third finger, doesn’t put it in yet.
“Fuck.” Suguru breathes.
“Can I do three fingers?” Satoru asks for reasons unknown to him.
“Yeah, do it.” Suguru says. Satoru listens, like, immediately. He tugs his hand out and adds more lube first though. The third finger is a stretch, not super uncomfortable, but it’s got him shifting on the bed. He tries to relax.
“It’s a lot.” He admits, spreading his fingers inside himself. He crooks them so he’s pressing on his prostate and jolts. “Ah, fuck.” He grits out as his dick leaks on his stomach.
“Feels good?” Suguru asks. “Keep working yourself open so you can take it easy, okay baby?”
“Uh-huh,” Satoru says, “I– fuck– I thought maybe you didn’t mean it when you said that you wanted to fuck me, like it was just sex endorphins or whatever—” It’s easier, when he doesn’t have to look Suguru in the face and admit he thought Suguru didn’t, like, want him. “I didn’t— fuck— didn’t want to—”
“I wasn’t going to force it,” Suguru says, “‘toru, you were so out of it I didn’t know if you even remembered. It was so hot, Satoru. You’re hot. You loose? Stretched enough to take me? Wish I could feel you around my fingers.”
“Wish you could feel me around your cock.” Satoru tells him and the sound Suguru makes in response is extremely gratifying. Satoru spreads his fingers inside himself again, crooking them. He has no idea if he’s loose enough. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. “Want you here.” He chokes out.
“I know, I’m sorry, I know—” Suguru says, “I want to be there. Fuck, I just didn’t want to force it, force you. I keep jerking off thinking about it, thinking about the way you looked. I want to make you cum on my cock, ‘toru, want it so bad.”
Satoru slides his other hand down experimentally and pokes the tip of that pointer finger in with his three fingers. His hips kick up a little and he pants, massages his prostate, listens to Suguru’s encouragements until he thinks he’s ready.
“I’m good,” he pants, “I think I’m good, I— it’s smaller than you maybe.” He eyes the dildo as he speaks. Suguru snorts. Satoru can almost hear him go yeah yeah bet you say that to all the guys. He slaps it onto the floor to get it to stick and it makes a dumb sound and then just, like, waves at him. “It looks ridiculous.” He admits, shifting, “fuck, I don’t—”
“You wanna see?” Suguru asks suddenly. Satoru doesn’t know what he means, so he just goes uh-huh.
His phone dings. Suguru’s sent him a picture. Satoru inhales sharply, looking at it. Suguru’s so hard, all swollen and red. There’s precum stringing to his abs from the head of his cock. Suguru’s hand is tight on the base, holding it steady. Satoru’s whole body feels overheated.
“Want your cock.” Satoru tells him, feeling a little gone. “Suguru, come on, I want it in me.” He touches his leaking dick then puts his wet fingers to his mouth and pretends they taste like Suguru. “Can I put it in?” He asks, even though he doesn't know why he’s asking. “Can I? Tell me I can.”
“Fuck, I love when you ask,” Suguru tells him, “so good for me, ‘toru,” and, oh right. That’s why Satoru’s asking. That goes right to his head like he’s high as a kite, all floaty. “Lube it up good first, okay?” Suguru says.
Satoru does. He pulls a blanket to the floor as a cushion before he knee-walks over the dildo. He holds it steady with one hand and tries to hold his ass open a little with the other. It’s awkward. The tip catches on his hole and slips, slides up between his cheeks. He tries again and it pops out before it even really goes in.
“I can’t,” he says, frustrated and empty and all alone in his bedroom when Suguru could be right here.
“You can.” Suguru soothes. “Come on, want it so bad, ‘toru.”
Satoru gets a grip on the dildo higher, near the head. He pushes it against his hole, rubs it back and forth a little so it catches and because he knows Suguru would like it. He pushes down and feels this pressure as the head pops inside him and—
“Oh fuck,” he says to Suguru, “oh fuck.”
“Is it good, fuck, wish I was there.” Suguru sounds desperate. Satoru hitches down a little more and can’t stop the groan.
“I—” he says, “I—” It’s hard to talk so he just stops. He tries to lower himself down slowly, his thighs trembling not quite from exertion but from all the stimulation and newness. “Ah,” he whimpers at the way it rubs and presses on his prostate. “Oh fuck, S’guru, fuck–”
“Fuck,” Suguru says a little wildly, “is it all the way in?”
“No—” Satoru gasps, spreading his knees wider, his arms shake as he falls forward. He’s so stretched and full and it’s not even all the way in yet. He pushes down a little more and groans. “I don’t– I don’t know–”
“You can take it, baby.” Suguru whispers. Satoru wants Suguru holding his hips and guiding him down onto his cock. He makes a helpless sound as the dildo slips farther in. “Relax, baby, come on—” Suguru says. Satoru can’t take it. His phone is between his hands, still open to the picture of Suguru’s dick but that’s not what he wants.
“Video.” He begs, “Suguru, need to see you.” Suguru hangs up. Satoru lifts up a little, fucks back down, and answers the video call as the dildo hits just right. He half moans, half sobs.
“Oh fuck.” Suguru says. It’s just Satoru’s face at this angle, he doesn’t think Suguru can see his dick or anything, but that’s kinda what it would be like if he was riding Suguru, he figures. “Jesus, Satoru, fuck, look at you.” Suguru says, all disconnected words. He’s jerking himself off fast, Satoru can see his arm moving.
“I think it’s all in.” Satoru chokes out. He thinks he’s flying. He’s so full. “Fuck, I’m— I—”
“Grind it deep.” Suguru tells him, “God, that’s what I’d do to you, baby. What I’ll do. I’ll get real fucking deep, make you feel it. I bet you’re so tight.”
Satoru wants to say something but he can’t get his mouth to work right. He grinds down like Suguru told him to, working his hips.
“Feels good.” He tells Suguru real ineffectually. He wants better words and doesn’t have them. The pressure on his prostate is unrelenting like this. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“Look at what you do to me,” Suguru says, pulling the phone back a bit. Satoru blinks away tears as he opens his eyes to watch Suguru work his leaking dick. Satoru fumbles with the phone to prop it up so Suguru can see him better before he starts to bounce a little, barely lifting up, keeping it deep but trying to time his movements with Suguru’s strokes.
“Want your cock in me,” Satoru chokes out, grinds down again. It’s so good, it’s so good. Fuck, he can’t take it. “Want it, please—”
“I want that too.” Suguru’s voice is rough with need. “Want it so bad, you have no fucking clue.”
“Do it then,” Satoru gasps, circles his hips in a figure eight like he’s seen girls do when they’re riding him and god, fuck, that’s really good. He does it again. “Want you to do it.”
“I will.” Suguru says like a promise. “God, I will ‘toru.” Satoru nods as best he can in response, can’t form the words he wants to say. “Can you fuck yourself a little harder for me, baby?” Suguru whispers. “Come on, show me how good you can be for me, ‘toru.”
Satoru whimpers, lifts almost all the way off and fucks back down, does it again.
“There you go, sweetheart.” Suguru breathes. Satoru moans helplessly in response. Suguru watching him makes him want to keep moving even when his thighs start to burn. He doesn’t want to stop moving. He doesn’t want Suguru to stop watching him. He wishes Suguru were here, could fuck up into him. Push him down. He kinda just wants to lay there and take it.
“Suguru,” he manages. He wants to tell him all that but he can’t get anything else out. He can barely breathe. He slows to a deep grind and blinks back tears, looks at the phone. “Suguru,” he says desperately.
“Fuck,” Suguru says, “fuck, I’m gonna cum, are you close?”
“Tell me,” Satoru pants, falling to his forearms as he works himself deep, “come on, tell me—”
“Gonna fuck you, gonna make you cum on my cock. You’ll never want anyone else, ‘toru, I’ll make it so good for you, baby–”
It’s lines and it’s ridiculous and Satoru wants it so bad. He wants Suguru so bad. He grinds down hard and reaches for his cock. He barely touches it before he starts cumming, body shaking. His hips kick down with the force of it, pushing the dildo deeper. He can hear himself saying Suguru’s name like it’s someone else and then Suguru says, Satoru, fuck, fuck—
He tries to get his eyes open to watch Suguru cum, half sees it, all blurry through his tears, his whole body shaking. Cum gets all over Suguru’s chest, his stomach. Satoru wants to lick him clean.
“I wanna lick your abs.” He slurs at Suguru when he can form a sentence. “I want you inside me getting soft.”
“I’m going to fuck you.” Suguru says, sounding real determined like he’s saying he’s gonna ace an exam or get a goal in a game or something.
“Yes, please.” Satoru manages. He shifts against the dildo and pants. He doesn’t want to be empty but the angle he’s at is uncomfortable. His legs are trembling as he lifts up with a little distressed sound. He lets himself collapse on his floor, reaches back to press against his empty hole and clench around his fingertips. “Fuck,” he groans.
“So fucking hot, ‘toru.” Suguru whispers. Satoru thinks that, if Suguru was here, he would be stroking Satoru’s face the way he does, pressing little kisses to Satoru’s shoulders, his neck, gently bringing Satoru’s mouth to his. Satoru wants it. He feels kinda cold and alone. There’s a silence and then Suguru says,
“Satoru, please tell me you’re not asleep.”
Satoru grunts at him. Fuck, he doesn’t know if he can walk right now. He keeps his eyes closed.
“So awake.” He mumbles after a few seconds.
He only wakes up for real because Suguru says Pokémon would win if they were fighting Digimon, which is so fucking fake. In destructive power alone Digimon outrank Pokémon. Even if Suguru could name an exception somehow, which Satoru knows he fucking can’t, Pokémon are outclassed by Digimon easy.
“I simply think the Pokémon would be stronger.” Suguru says, all messed up hair and bare chest, his nose wrinkled a little because he’s trying to hide a smile.
“You’re just trying to make me mad,” Satoru says, casting about for new boxers after he finishes cleaning himself up. He’ll take a proper shower tomorrow. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he tells Suguru threateningly, “or I wouldn’t put up with you.”
“Careful bud,” Suguru says, “might start to think you like me or something.”
Satoru sticks out his tongue.
“You would be lucky.” He tells Suguru and flops onto his bed.
“I’d be something.” Suguru says, real soft. “Sleep well, okay?”
“You too.” Satoru mumbles. He turns off his lights and falls asleep before he can start to analyze why his feelings are lowkey hurt by Suguru making a joke about Satoru liking him.
Suguru takes what Satoru said at face value, thank god. A few nights later he texts Satoru all hey what are you doing next thursday? and Satoru responds getting your cock in me and cumming so hard i pass out. Instead of responding with satoru get a modicum of shame or just satoru all disapproving or whatever, Suguru texts back yeah, exactly. im going to fuck you so good you won’t remember your own name, ‘toru. Satoru can’t respond what a fucking line or anything because he just ends up jerking off thinking about it.
Suguru comes over on Thursday at 8, just like he said he was going to. He throws himself on Satoru’s couch.
“Wanna watch a movie?” He asks innocently, tilting his head.
“Fuck you, fucker.” Satoru throws a pillow and nails him right in the face. Suguru can actually beat him at hand-to-hand, and he looks like he’s about to, so Satoru flees to the bedroom. He gets his shirt off and arranges himself as artfully on the bed as he can in like three seconds.
Suguru snorts when he sees him.
“C’mere, big boy.” Satoru crooks a finger at him.
“I should leave,” Suguru tells him, but he’s stripping off his shirt and undoing his buckle, “I should go home.” He says, kneeling on the bed and leaning down as Satoru lifts up. They meet in the middle and god, Satoru loves the way Suguru kisses, loves the way he gets his hand on Satoru’s jaw to angle him, takes control in this real sweet way. It makes Satoru want to fight back, give in, just throws him off entirely. It’s his favorite thing. He gets both of their pants and boxers off and traces fingers over every inch of bared skin as they kiss.
“Come on,” he whispers eventually, feeling antsy and ready and unreasonably turned on.
Suguru fumbles in Satoru’s drawer for the lube, condoms. Satoru climbs into his lap. He likes how simple it is to distract Suguru, like Suguru’s real real easy for him. Satoru kissing Suguru’s neck and scraping teeth over his collarbones makes Suguru drop the lube, kiss him a little frantically.
He pulls away so he can get off Suguru’s lap and onto the bed, maybe on his back or all fours or something, but Suguru holds him still, pulls him close.
“No, stay like this,” he mumbles.
Satoru’s not opposed to it. Suguru lubes up his fingers, Satoru watching as he rubs them together to warm it. Always such a gentleman. Satoru’s fucked himself open with cold lube a lot, maybe that’s why it feels better when Suguru does it. He’s not sure that’s it though because Suguru’s finger circles his rim, not even pressing in, and it feels so good that Satoru shivers. He spreads his knees so Suguru has better access, drops his head to Suguru’s shoulder.
Suguru opens him slowly, gently, like this is the whole thing, this is the endgame. It’s how he kisses too, Satoru puts together, like each kiss is that– his end goal, exactly what he wants from the whole fucking encounter, all his attention focused like there doesn’t have to be anything else. Satoru rolls his hips down and lets Suguru do what he wants.
Well, he lets Suguru do what he wants for a little.
“Go faster,” he tells Suguru, knocking their foreheads together when Suguru has two fingers in him and is purposefully teasing. “You know you want to.” He says. He knows Suguru wants it, he’s hard as shit. He traces fingers over the head of Suguru’s cock, listens to his shaky inhale. God, Suguru’s cock is thick. Is that really gonna fit in him? “I can take it.” Satoru tells Suguru, because he’s never been anything but slightly overconfident and it’s always worked out for him.
“Mm,” Suguru says softly, “but I like this, baby. Look at you.” Satoru wiggles a little and looks down at himself, looks back up at Suguru. Nothing new, particularly. Suguru tugs him closer. “Hold on, okay?” He says. Satoru thinks about making a crack, but Suguru’s got his fingers crooked just right so instead Satoru winds his arms around Suguru’s neck. Suguru gets his hand on Satoru’s cock, strokes him.
“Fuck–” Satoru breathes out, pressing a kiss below Suguru’s ear. It’s so much, rocking back on Suguru’s hand and forward into his tight fist. It’s overstimulating from all angles. He whimpers, dick leaking over Suguru’s knuckles.
“Look at you,” Suguru says again, pulling back a little so Satoru has to lift his head up, look at him. “Gonna do three, okay?” He asks and, when Satoru nods because of course Suguru waits for Satoru to nod, he slowly fucks three fingers into Satoru. Satoru doesn’t know if it’s the angle or the intensity of Suguru’s gaze on him, but he feels way too overstimulated and way too close to cumming.
He bats Suguru’s hand away from his cock.
“Can’t,” he pants, “I’ll cum.” Suguru nods and starts kissing Satoru again, soft and slow, as he fucks him with his fingers.
It’s a lot. Not just Suguru’s fingers, but how Suguru’s looking at him in between kisses— so tenderly it’s unbelievable. He kisses the corner of Satoru’s mouth, presses their foreheads together. Satoru’s going to fucking cry or something. He doesn’t even know why. He has to be ready, this has to be enough, he can’t do it anymore, he can’t. It’s too much. Too intimate. It’s, like, emotional overstimulation.
“I’m ready,” he gasps, “fuck, I’m ready–” He crawls off Suguru on shaky legs, settles himself on all fours. “Like this.” He says, looks at Suguru over his shoulder, “Come on, please fuck me.”
Suguru pauses, looks at him. Not upset or anything, just like he’s slightly confused.
“I heard it was better,” Satoru hedges, “for the first time. Like easier?” He read that this or, like, spooning with a leg up, but that feels– he can’t do that right now. He feels all raw and everything is too much.
“Could be.” Suguru says after a second before he kneels behind him, rolling a condom on. Satoru jolts a little when Suguru touches his hip. Suguru soothes his hand over the small of Satoru’s back, presses a kiss to the base of his spine. Jesus Christ. Satoru sort of wants to take it back. He wants to be kissing again. He wants to watch Suguru’s face when he pushes in.
He takes a breath.
Suguru’s hand is pretty steadying on his hip and that’s good because Satoru feels fucking wild, especially when the tip of Suguru’s hard dick, hot even through the condom, rubs against his entrance. He drops his head with a gasp. Okay, maybe this is good. Maybe just one thing to focus on, just this, just the feeling of Suguru pushing inside.
“You okay?” Suguru asks, rubbing the head of his cock back and forth over Satoru’s hole, letting it catch on his rim.
“Fuck me,” Satoru whines, just to be a brat because it’s Suguru and he can be a brat and it doesn’t matter.
Suguru leans over and gets a hand in Satoru’s hair, pulls him up a little.
“Say please, Satoru,” He says, in this real silky voice.
Satoru’s going to lose it. Like for real. He’s glad he’s not facing Suguru, actually. He doesn’t want Suguru to see the face he knows he’s making, like he’d do anything for Suguru forever.
“Bud,” he says and his voice cracks. He pushes his hips back and Suguru’s dick slides up instead of inside him. Satoru huffs out a breath. “Bud, come on, fuck me, you know you want to.”
“I want you to say please.” Suguru says, letting go of his hair. “God, look at you.” He squeezes Satoru’s ass, rubs the head of his cock against Satoru’s hole again, making these small sounds like he’d be content to just—
“Oh fuck,” Satoru says, “oh fuck, oh fuck.”
Suguru groans in response as he pushes the head of his cock in and just— stops. Satoru tries to push his hips back but Suguru’s holding him steady. He’s jerking himself off, Satoru thinks wildly, just the tip inside, Suguru’s knuckles brushing Satoru’s ass as he strokes himself slowly.
“God, you’re tight,” Suguru tells him, “feels so fucking good, want to fuck you, baby–” and Satoru is so far gone. He gives in easy.
“Please,” he says, pushing back as much as Suguru lets him, “fuck, please, Suguru, come on, you said you would make it good for me, you said you would fuck me, please, please, want you inside me—”
“Yeah,” Suguru groans, pushing in a little more. Satoru’s like. Oh wow. Holy hell. He makes a sound and Suguru squeezes his hip reassuringly. Suguru’s pushing in so slow, forcing Satoru open in this gentle steady rush of pleasure and pressure and fullness. “Fuck, ‘toru. You feel so fucking good.” It’s so much. The words are like lit matches on his skin. There’s so much stimulation he can’t process it all. God, he didn’t know his body could feel like this. “I’m gonna make it good for you, fuck you so good, ‘toru.” Suguru tells him, massaging his hip.
It’s already so good.
“S’so much,” Satoru slurs because holy shit. Holy shit. He’s so full it’s overwhelming, overpowering, the press and good ache, and he can’t— he can’t— “Suguru–” he’s shaking too much, can’t hold himself up, so he falls to his forearms.
“Too much?” Suguru pauses, presses on Satoru’s rim where his cock must be only part way buried. Satoru sort of sobs. He feels a little crazed.
“Not too much,” he pants, “just so full, it’s— oh fuck, is it all in—”
“No, but you can take it, can’t you?” Suguru asks. Satoru nods, mumbles uh-huh. He can, he can do that, he can do that for Suguru, wants to. “Come on, take it all.” Suguru whispers and he rocks out a little before he starts pushing forward again.
Satoru has never felt this way before, the way it feels getting opened up on Suguru’s cock. He blinks open his eyes, looking down his stomach to watch cum leak out of his cock with each slow rocking movement forward of Suguru’s hips. Suguru slides a hand low on Satoru’s stomach, pressing right at the base of his dick.
“You feel so good, sweetheart.” He whispers. It’s so much pressure, inside and out, Suguru’s dick, his hand, his voice. “You’re so tight.” Suguru says, half a groan. He pulls out a little and pushes back in, changing the angle so that he hits Satoru just right, doing it like it’s nothing. “Feels good?” Suguru asks, at the strangled sound Satoru makes. He does it again, movements smooth.
“I’m gonna cum,” Satoru says wildly, “Suguru, fuck, I think I’m gonna cum.”
“I’m not even all the way in, ‘toru—” Suguru sounds a little broken. “Relax, okay baby?”
Satoru can’t. He can’t.
“Please,” Satoru says, half a sob, “Suguru, please, need–”
“I got you.” Suguru whispers. “I got you, okay?” He pushes forward in one movement, burying himself until his hips are flush against Satoru’s ass. Satoru chokes on his own spit. He feels his dick leak. He didn’t know he could feel this way. He clenches down without meaning to, trying to adjust. Suguru swears but Satoru only distantly hears it. He’s overwhelmed. Out of his body. He can’t say anything, can’t catch his goddamn breath, is just making little choked off sounds. He’s going to cum. He’s cumming maybe. He can’t tell anymore. He clenches down again, hips shifting. “You okay?” Suguru asks him, fingers trembling on Satoru’s waist, clearly trying to hold still. “You okay, does it hurt?”
“S’so good,” Satoru manages, pressing his face into the pillow. He arches his back more. “S’guru, can you—” Suguru pulls out a little and fucks in deep again. “Yeah,” Satoru sobs, “yeah, yes—” He’s overloaded, shaking. He bites at his pillow, spit leaking out of his mouth.
Suguru keeps fucking him like that and he can’t be moving that much at all– but it feels like so fucking much. Satoru’s so full and Suguru’s all pressed up and dragging on the spot inside him that makes him see stars. He reaches for Suguru, wants to touch, to feel him. Suguru understands, manhandles Satoru to his knees, holds Satoru tight to his body, arm around his waist, his chest. Suguru’s somehow deeper this way, like he’s up in Satoru’s lungs, his throat. Satoru lets his head fall back on Suguru’s shoulder with a moan. He gets a hand on Suguru’s ass, feels his muscles flex as he works his cock deep in Satoru.
“Suguru,” Satoru chokes out. He’s sobbing. He doesn’t mean to be, he literally doesn’t understand the sounds coming out of his mouth, raw and scattered. Suguru keeps grinding against him, little circles and figure eights of his hips that have unrelenting pressure on Satoru’s prostate. God, he didn’t know he could feel like this. He gets what girls mean when they say they got their guts rearranged. His whole body is melting, molding around the pleasure, the feeling of Suguru’s dick pushing inside him. It’s like taking Suguru’s cock is all he’ll ever be good for again. It’s amazing. He reaches a hand up to tangle in Suguru’s hair, tries to kiss him, can’t get his body to respond right.
“You feel good, baby?” Suguru’s voice is rough in his ear.
“Uh-huh,” Satoru sobs, “so, so— so good, Suguru, please, I— ah, fuck—” There’s not a word for how he feels. He might be dying. He can’t think. His dick bounces against his stomach with each thrust. Suguru presses it there, holds it to Satoru’s abs with his hand. Doesn’t stroke it or anything, but just the pressure of his hand makes Satoru sob again.
“Baby,” Suguru whispers in his ear.
Satoru can’t answer, can’t keep his eyes open, feels like he’s just cumming and cumming and cumming, his dick leaking with the low pressure constant overload of sensation. He doesn’t know if he’s orgasming yet or still or what’s happening.
“I’m gonna cum,” Satoru sobs. “I think I’m cumming– I don’t– I can’t– please— ”
“Yeah?” Suguru whispers. “You gonna cum ‘toru?”
Satoru doesn’t manage much in response, just a low whine. Suguru kisses his neck, loosening his arms a little. Satoru falls toward the bed, can’t keep himself upright, and Suguru follows. He hikes one of Satoru’s legs up with a gentle hand to his knee, changing the angle.
“Oh god,” Satoru chokes out. He stuffs his fingers in his mouth, needs something to suck on, can’t stop making broken sounds around them.
“There you go,” Suguru whispers, hand sliding down Satoru’s body to his hips to hold him steady. He works them up the bed a little as he starts to thrust harder.
“S’good,” Satoru moans around his fingers. It’s his fantasy from that first time— Suguru’s hands angling his hips up, tilting them so he’s hitting Satoru just right, fucking him so good, making Satoru’s body light up. Satoru wiggles a hand under himself on the bed. He doesn’t need or even want to touch his dick, but he wants— he palms his tight balls and then reaches back more and feels—
Suguru, thrusting in and out of him. Satoru spreads his fingers so Suguru’s dick is sliding between them as it enters him.
“Suguru,” he sobs, dragging his fingers out of his mouth and onto the pillow, damp with spit and tears, “S’guru,” he feels frantic, sort of hysterical. He looks over his shoulder, sees Suguru staring at where they’re joined, watching himself fuck into Satoru. Suguru slows then stops moving entirely and Satoru makes a sound he didn’t know he could make. Suguru touches Satoru’s fingertips around his dick, looks up at him.
“Satoru?” He whispers.
“You’re inside me,” Satoru chokes out which, yes, obviously, but, “you’re inside me, Suguru, you’re—” God, he can’t think. “Suguru.” He manages to bite out. “Need to kiss you, please, want to see you, I don’t, I can’t—”
Suguru looks vaguely stricken. He pulls out so suddenly Satoru cries out, confused and empty, but Suguru’s rolling him over and pushing back in, their bodies pressed together as he kisses Satoru like he’s air.
“Yes,” Satoru gets out, “yes—” This is what he wanted. Needed. Suguru’s body over his, Suguru looking at him, Suguru’s mouth on his. Suguru kisses him so good and Suguru’s inside him and it feels so fucking good. It’s all so fucking good.
“Fuck,” Suguru says, “we could have done it this way the whole time baby, didn’t know, wanted to kiss you but wanted you to be comfortable—”
Oh, Satoru’s talking out loud. Or Suguru can read minds.
“You’re inside me,” Satoru sobs, words all broken up. He slides a hand down so he can touch the side of Suguru’s cock as he fucks Satoru, dragging this endless-feeling orgasm out of him.
“Fuck, ‘toru— ” Suguru’s thrusting harder now. It feels like he’s deeper even though Satoru doesn’t know how he could get deeper. He hikes his legs up around Suguru’s hips and moans. “I’m inside you, fuck,” Suguru says.
“You’re gonna make me cum again,” Satoru feels wild, his body is going in every direction, all his nerves are sparklers.
“Yeah,” Suguru pants, sounds possessive. His forehead is sweaty when he presses it against Satoru’s. Satoru wraps his arms around Suguru’s neck and tries to kiss him, can’t quite manage it, “I’m gonna make you cum, Satoru,” Suguru breathes into his mouth, “come on baby, show me—”
Something overloads inside Satoru. He loses track of everything but this fucking wave of pleasure that’s been building and building and building. He feels himself cumming between them, getting it all over himself, hot and wet. He clings to Suguru, nails digging into his skin, and sobs, tries to figure out where his body ends. The lines of it. He can’t, he can’t.
“Suguru,” he pleads, “Suguru–”
“Jesus,” Suguru is saying, “‘toru, ‘toru, baby—” and then he’s kissing Satoru who can’t kiss back but wants to, is trying to. He gets trembling hands on Suguru’s face, threads them into his hair. He hangs on as Suguru fucks him through it.
“Don’t stop, cum inside me,” Satoru manages to whisper. Suguru has a condom on, but he gets what Satoru means because he goes fuck and I’m close fuck, and starts really going at it, knocking Satoru up the bed. It’s overstimulating. It feels so fucking good. Satoru’s pretty sure he’s still orgasming, it’s just not necessarily involving ejaculation anymore. He tries to organize his thoughts into words and can’t. “Suguru–” he whimpers.
Suguru cums with a groan and Satoru can feel it through the condom, the hot of it, Suguru’s dick jerking inside him. It’s unbelievable. It’s, like, the best thing he’s ever felt, makes the aftershocks of his own orgasm stronger. Suguru bites his own lip when he cums, curling into Satoru like he’s protecting him from something. It’s so hot. Satoru whines underneath him, half hard somehow. He strokes his hands up and down Suguru’s sweaty back, tries to make soothing sounds.
“I’m–” Satoru tries to say after a few minutes, pressing a kiss to Suguru’s temple, the fine hairs there. He can feel Suguru getting soft in him and, for some reason, that’s kind of doing it for him. “I—”
“I got you.” Suguru breathes out, kissing Satoru’s temple and his cheeks, nosing into his neck. He grinds in Satoru again before he pulls out. Satoru makes a sound of vague not quite distress. He doesn’t get very far with whatever he is trying to conceptualize into words because Suguru slides down his body and fucks three fingers into him.
“Oh,” Satoru gasps, arching off the bed. “I—” and then Suguru swallows him down before he can make any other sounds at all.
Suguru maybe feels ambivalent about deepthroating but damn if he’s not really good at doing it to someone else. His nose is pressed into Satoru’s stomach and Satoru’s hips are kicking up into his mouth and Suguru’s not even flinching. He stops Satoru from moving too much with one arm over his hips and swallows around Satoru, scissors his fingers. Satoru sobs out Suguru’s name brokenly and Suguru just hums around him. He keeps working Satoru until he’s fully hard again, aching and beside himself, chanting Suguru’s name without meaning to, tugging Suguru’s hair.
“Suguru,” he begs, gasping for air. “Suguru.”
“My baby,” Suguru whispers when he pulls off, like that’s not a completely weirdly devastating thing for him to say, “so good for me, baby,” and then he sucks Satoru back into his mouth as he crooks his fingers inside him.
“I’m gonna—” Satoru doesn’t know what, honestly. “You’re gonna make me—” Cum feels wrong, it’s more like fall apart, like his body is shattering outward. Suguru’s going to break him, and it’s going to feel so good, and then he’s going to put all the pieces of Satoru back together again. Satoru can let go, he can let go completely. “Please,” he moans through a sob. He doesn’t know what he’s asking for exactly. “Suguru, please.”
“You can cum again for me, baby.” Suguru whispers, tongues softly at the head of his cock before he presses his nose to Satoru’s stomach again.
Satoru truly loses it. It’s nearly dry when he cums, even though everything is so wet and hot and Suguru’s tongue is stroking his slit so he can’t really tell. It wipes him out. He loses track of everything.
He’s shaking, when he starts to feel like he’s partially back in his body, shivering like he’s cold, his fingertips all prickly. He’s crying still, whimpering softly, hands threaded into Suguru’s hair. Suguru pulls off completely when Satoru starts to soften and kisses the head of his dick, strokes around his rim, thumb pressing on his perineum. Satoru jolts hard. It’s maybe too much. He doesn’t want Suguru to stop.
“Suguru,” he mumbles weakly. He’s floating away, can’t get his limbs to coordinate with his brain. Suguru gets it though. God, Suguru always gets it. Suguru lifts up and presses Satoru into the bed, keeps him all safe and covered while he finds the edges of his body again. Suguru kisses him until Satoru comes partially back online and can kiss back. “Holy shit,” he slurs into Suguru’s mouth.
“Adequate?” Suguru asks with a gentle smirk, because he’s an absolute dick and he’s gonna make Satoru say, that was the best sex I’ve ever had, thank you. But honestly it was beyond the best sex Satoru’s ever had. He’s gonna have to create a whole new Good Sex scale after this encounter. He’s not even sure he knew sex could be like that.
Satoru decides to just pull Suguru back down for another kiss. When words are a thing he knows again, he cups Suguru’s face, squeezing his mouth into a pout.
“Thank you for your service.” Satoru tells him seriously. Suguru snorts. “Additionally, you are gonna have to carry me if you want me to shower within the next hour, don’t think I can walk. Holy fuck.”
“Mm.” Suguru says, looking all proud and soft. He starts kissing Satoru’s neck again, his mouth, his tear stained cheeks while he strokes Satoru’s body with firm hands. Satoru is so into it.
Eventually Suguru drags Satoru out of bed to clean up. Satoru’s legs do give out a little when they walk to the shower so he makes Suguru carry him. Suguru is way too smug about it. When they get back to the bedroom, Suguru pulls on a pair of Satoru’s boxers to sleep in and strips the bed, tosses the sheets in the washer. Satoru sits on the reading chair in his room and hums while Suguru remakes the bed.
“I’m still on another planet,” he tells Suguru, when Suguru turns to face him again, “my man, I—” He mimes a little explosion with his hands as Suguru rolls his eyes. He doesn’t fool Satoru. He looks so fucking proud.
Satoru makes his way to the bed as Suguru finishes cleaning up. Suguru turns out the lights before he settles under the covers next to Satoru. He’s only kinda touching Satoru though. Bullshit.
“Bullshit.” Satoru says through a yawn.
“Hmm?” Suguru asks. “What’s up?”
Satoru slings his leg over Suguru’s hips and tugs him close. Suguru makes a small surprised sound.
“Your dick was in my ass.” Satoru tells him. “You fucked me so good I still can’t think right. You’d better fucking kiss me until I fall asleep, man. Basic post-coitus manners if you’re gonna give someone multiple orgasms like that.”
“Coitus.” Suguru says with a wrinkled nose. “Dude, you’re such a freak.”
“Your freak,” Satoru coos at him.
“Yeah, yeah,” Suguru rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it, just leans in. “My freak.” He says. Satoru’s stomach gets all warm. He can’t stop the smile.
“Damn straight.” He nods.
Suguru does what Satoru told him to do, kisses Satoru right until they’re both falling asleep and their kisses are more drags of lips than anything.
“Sleep well,” Suguru mumbles into his mouth. Satoru kisses him once, with purpose.
“You too.” He says and then puts his forehead on Suguru’s chest and falls the fuck asleep.
He wakes up before Suguru because of course he does. It’s Suguru’s one fault, not being a morning person. His future husband is gonna have to be in charge of walking their dogs or whatever. Satoru frowns at that thought, he doesn’t know why. He watches Suguru sleep for a while. Maybe that’s a little weird, but he’s allowed. He doesn’t feel like getting up and Suguru is cute. He’s got his arms pillowed under his head, mouth open a little, hair all fucked up. Satoru brushes some of it back from Suguru’s face. He’s so pretty. Handsome. All the words, really. Suguru’s future husband better treat him so fucking good. Satoru starts to feel a little weird again, like, in his heart, so he gets out of bed with a wince. He stretches real big in the kitchen before he measures the coffee grounds. While he waits for the coffee to brew he runs his hands through his hair and goes to grab a t-shirt. Suguru is just starting to move in bed, probably enticed by the scent. It makes Satoru smile.
“Morning,” he says, when he hears Suguru pad into the kitchen behind him. Satoru doesn’t turn to look, he’s busy pouring, making sure he’s got enough sugar and cream in his mug. Suguru grunts in answer, comes up behind Satoru, and puts his forehead on Satoru’s shoulder. Satoru bites down a laugh. “Yes, I slept well thanks for asking.” Satoru assures Suguru, shrugging him back to standing. “Coffee?” He offers.
“Mm,” Suguru mumbles, accepting the cup with a grateful look. Satoru leans back against the counter and watches Suguru walk to the table. He doesn’t have a shirt on and his back muscles flex in the morning light.
“Get out of my house.” Satoru says, to piss Suguru off.
Suguru waves him off with a middle finger and a yawn, slumps at the table with his mug.
Yeah, Suguru is going to need someone to take care of him proper-like. Like how Satoru can, you know? Satoru digs through his fridge. He’s good at making breakfast. When they lived together Suguru did other meals, but Satoru did breakfast since he was awake. Honestly, at the end of this lease, they’ve been talking about moving back in together. It’s almost a full year with separate apartments now, mostly done in a fit to prove they weren’t codependent, and it kinda sucks living apart? Suguru spends half his time at Satoru’s anyway and the other half of the time Satoru is at his so, like, what’s the point of separate apartments?
Anyway.
Satoru likes making breakfast. He really likes making breakfast for Suguru. He’s got a whole catalog of recipes Suguru likes in the morning when he doesn’t like much of anything.
Satoru makes them breakfast sandwiches.
“S’good,” Suguru tells him all earnest, yolk dripping down his pinkie. He’s so cute. Satoru can’t stop himself— he licks it off for Suguru and watches Suguru’s eyes get dark. “Not right now,” Suguru says, “but to be clear, I want to fuck you again, if you want.”
“Yes.” Satoru says. “So badly. Please.”
Suguru kisses him, which is a little surprising, but Satoru really likes it so he kisses back. Later he pours the rest of the coffee into a to-go cup and smacks Suguru on the ass as he walks out the door, cleaned off and in some of Satoru’s clothes. Yeah. That’s what friends with benefits do. How they act. He thinks.
Satoru frowns as he puts their plates in the dishwasher. He kind of wishes he’d kissed Suguru goodbye too, but that would be weird, right? Whatever. He’s got shit to do today and a sore ass. There’s time to be weird about Suguru later.
Next time Suguru comes over, Satoru genuinely doesn’t mean for it to be a hear me out let’s fuck thing. They’re watching a movie they both wanted to see. Satoru glances at Suguru halfway through and Suguru looks back at him and then they’re kissing, like full on making out in between one heartbeat and the next.
“Hear me out,” Satoru mumbles into Suguru’s mouth.
“Fuck yeah, let me fuck you,” Suguru says, like that’s just the normal way they talk now. Satoru’s dick reacts to it and it’s nearly exactly what he was going to say— can we fuck, please fuck me— so he’s not upset at all.
“Bud, you can do pretty much anything to me.” Satoru says, maybe a little too seriously. It riles Suguru up though, which is great. Satoru’s never been stripped of his clothes so efficiently and sexily at the same time.
Suguru insists on doing it missionary, muttering about how he’s gotta make up for last time. Satoru points out, as coherently as he can while Suguru works him open, that Satoru was the one who chose the position, not Suguru. Suguru sorta shrugs and works his third finger inside of Satoru. Also, Satoru continues around a moan, they ended up face to face anyway, and also they’ll probably fuck in all sorts of positions eventually, so who cares? Suguru, as though he’s not even listening, licks Satoru’s dick into his mouth as he massages Satoru’s prostate.
Satoru temporarily loses track of things.
Also also— Satoru manages when Suguru is getting the condom on so Satoru can breathe and think a little— probably most importantly, Suguru fucked Satoru, like, so good. Made him cum so hard he left the planet. What could there possibly be to make up for?
Suguru seems moderately receptive to this feedback and even more receptive when Satoru tells him, holding Suguru’s face so Suguru has to look in Satoru’s eyes and know that he’s not fucking around, that Satoru has never had sex that good or cum that hard.
“Gonna make you cum that hard again,” Suguru mumbles, lining up his cock with Satoru’s hole. Satoru was right— watching Suguru’s face as he pushes in is pretty much life-changing.
Satoru cums like three times on Suguru’s dick and Suguru calls him baby and they watch the movie the next day, when Satoru is able to focus and not completely fucked out. The whole encounter is a win-win, as far as Satoru is concerned.
A few days later Suguru sleeps over like he used to and they don’t fuck. Sure, Satoru climbs into Suguru’s lap after breakfast and Suguru jerks him off with a quick tight hand while Satoru whines into his ear and then cums all over him. When Satoru gets it together a little he strokes Suguru off with a shaky hand. Suguru bites Satoru’s lip when he cums, which Satoru is sort of proud of even though it hurts a little because that means he made Suguru lose track, cum really hard. Suguru keeps thumbing at Satoru’s lip after, like he’s worried Satoru is injured or some shit. It’s cute.
They do fuck a lot honestly but that’s, like, normal, Satoru thinks. At the start of fucking someone you want to fuck a lot. Plus the sex is so good it’s unbelievable. Literally unbelievable. Satoru has never fucked like this. Like, there’s this time Suguru edges Satoru for so long that Satoru literally can’t think. His whole world is narrowed down to only Suguru and Suguru touching him. He cums when Suguru gives him permission, calls him good and pushes just the tip of his dick inside Satoru. Suguru fucks him through the orgasm and keeps going, Satoru drooling and sobbing and begging, clinging to Suguru. He’s so out of it by the end of everything, so thoroughly fucked good, that he needs, like, copious aftercare. Suguru feeds him apple slices in the bath as Satoru comes back to himself from a whole other pleasure plane of existence, still sorta sobbing. Suguru spends most of the next day cuddled together on the couch with Satoru. Suguru reads while Satoru fucks around on his phone and then his Switch. He eventually slides down the couch to suck Suguru off because he wants the weight and taste of him in his mouth. Then they get pizza and Satoru kicks Suguru’s ass at MarioKart.
So like— they’re still just them. Sure, now ‘them’ involves Suguru fucking Satoru so good Satoru gets turned on when he gets in bed from the sense memory of sheets on bare skin. And ‘them’ also involves Suguru fingerfucking Satoru to orgasm any chance he gets, often before he fucks Satoru so Satoru’s strung out and sobbing when Suguru finally puts his dick in him. And, yes, ‘them’ also now includes Satoru randomly and periodically insisting he needs more blow job practice and asking if he can suck Suguru’s dick. Well, it does until one day when Suguru says no and jerks himself off, makes Satoru watch until Satoru ends up begging to touch, talking about how much he loves Suguru’s cock, how bad he wants it in his mouth, how good he’ll be. Suguru smirks and finally gives in and lets Satoru suck his dick, praising Satoru for being so good, for blowing him so good. Satoru cums in his pants from how turned on he is by the whole thing and never bothers to come up with an excuse to suck Suguru’s dick again— though he does act like a brat sometimes to get Suguru to make him beg for it. Turns out Satoru really likes that.
But they also argue about moral relativity cuddled together on the couch and go try out the new izakaya that opened and compare and contrast it with the ones back home and create really complicated games of HORSE and then argue over the rules and talk nonsense at the bar while Suguru makes Satoru increasingly bizarre mocktails and sit in comfortable silence just being together for hours— all of which is classic them.
Nothing weird, nothing changes— it’s just them. They do all the things they used to do and now they also fuck and apparently Satoru can come like three consecutive times on Suguru’s dick which is super cool.
And okay, sure, there are a few things that change but it’s nothing major. It’s stuff like sometimes Satoru wants to kiss Suguru good morning even when he’s not there or hold his hand when they’re out with their friends, kiss his knuckles or something. He also keeps getting miffed when he thinks about Suguru’s non-existent future husband— which had also happened before this all started, sure— but it’s to the point where Satoru blows Suguru one morning when Suguru was literally just brushing his teeth because Satoru started thinking about how Suguru’s husband might not even realize Suguru doesn’t like toothpastes with a screw cap because they’re too messy, but Satoru knows that, Satoru remembers that, and then Satoru’s like — sucking Suguru off in the bathroom and Suguru ends up fucking him against the wall. It, you know, had made sense at the time.
Anyway.
It’s all totally definitely just— normal stuff.
Somewhere around the day when Suguru jerks them both off in his entryway before they leave for work and then has to change his shirt because Satoru’s cum gets all over it and they can’t stop laughing and touching even though they’re both late and then they kiss goodbye in the lobby, Satoru thinks that he should probably analyze if this is, like, normal stuff.
The thing is Satoru, and he means this so lovingly at himself, is a little weird with feelings. He wasn’t taught how to express them as a kid and there’s a lot going on in him when he thinks about Suguru. Like, in general. Not even just when he thinks about how good they fuck and how much he wants to do it again and then again and also forever– or how part of that fantasy is the morning after stuff, like making Suguru breakfast or Suguru grumpy in Satoru’s clothes (?) which like. Okay. He doesn’t know what to do with that.
He doesn’t get much of a chance to do anything with it though, because things pick up in his PhD program and he’s working pretty much all the time. He extends his TA hours because he feels bad for the undergrad kids who are panicking about midterms. General Relativity is a bitch of a class even at the undergrad level. They’re lucky they’re not in his Monte Carlo Simulation in Statistical Physics course. What the fuck is up with that course. God. He was a mathlete and an athlete— he’s strong mentally, physically, the whole deal— and it’s brought him nearly to tears.
Bad tears, he reflects, tapping his pencil thingy on his iPad. Negative tears.
“Huh?” Says the undergrad in his office who is looking at him with somehow both defiant and horrified eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept for years.
“Good hair.” Satoru observes. “Okay, sit down buddy, we’re gonna make it all okay. Would you like a banana.”
The kid stares at him but Satoru is already handing him the banana. He looks at it like he’s confused and then tentatively starts to peel it. He eats it in like two bites. Kids these days.
“Okay.” Satoru claps his hands together. He likes this kid. “So. Megumi. Tell me what you don’t get.”
“General relativity.” Megumi croaks.
“Cool. Let’s start from the top then.” Satoru absolutely knows this kid understands more than he thinks he does, Satoru grades his quizzes, but— sure. He gets it.
He ends up extending his office hours even more. The kid is an exchange student from Japan, Satoru’s been there. Also his boyfriend is this, like, pink-haired Phys. Ed. major who always waits outside the lecture hall for him all beaming and proud. He actually shows up halfway through their session and sits there saying things like wow megumi you’re so smart and i could never do this, man, you’re amazing until Megumi is like this is a basic concept. That only seems to impress the kid more. Satoru likes him.
The days continue in this trend. Satoru still tries to meet up with his friends and hang out with Suguru, fucking or no fucking, but he also has to meet with his advisor and study and work on his research and do office hours and keeps forgetting to eat properly and then, well over a week later, he realizes he hasn’t been sleeping more than four or five hours a night. Fucked up sleep is a huge migraine trigger for him. He realizes this because he’s on hour three in the library and his head starts to hurt. Not a normal headache hurt— this is the very particular sort of pain above his right eye that means he’s going to be throwing up and incapacitated if he doesn’t do something pretty soon.
He presses in on his forehead, squinting at his computer. Well shit. He should still have a few hours before it’s like— fully crying in a dark room, throwing up from pain or whatever though. He’ll just get home, take his rizatriptan, and pass out. He winces, packs up his stuff. He’s got time surely, the migraines don’t come on so quick anymore. It’s fine. He makes it to his office to drop off stuff, grab a book he needs, and then gets back outside and is like.
He sinks slowly to a crouch and covers his eyes to block out the sun. It’s so fucking bright out. Like. Abnormally. Surely it’s not always this bright.
He tries to take a deep breath. His hands are shaking a little. The thing is, he hasn’t had a migraine come on this fast in years. Not since that terrifying almost full year of his life where he was just vomiting and unconscious for most of it. He’s got meds that work and started tracking his sleep and stress and Suguru learned all these headache pressure points, which mostly helped because Suguru touches him so gentle that Satoru felt safe even when he wanted to tear his own eyes out if it would make the pain stop. It’s better now. The migraines aren’t gone but usually they’re controlled.
He needs to get home. Like, stat. He needs to go home. He was going to wait and take his rizatriptan when he got home so that when it knocks him out he’ll be, like, safe or whatever, but that might not be an option. That’s cool. It’s fine.
He fumbles in his bag and holy shit. Holy shit. He does not have his meds. He always has his meds. Why doesn’t he– okay. Okay. He’s starting to see colors a little funny, which means he’s way past the point of having time to get home. He doesn’t want to vomit or pass out in the car of some college kid who is just trying to make a buck. He should— call an ambulance? Fuck. Fuck. He kinda wants to cry.
He rubs his forehead as he pulls out his phone and thanks god for facial recognition and also Siri because he doesn’t think he can or should focus on the screen right now.
“Siri, call Suguru.” He squeezes both his eyes shut, listens to the phone ring. Suguru picks up right when Satoru is about to just give up the ghost. Pass out in the quad maybe until the pain wakes him up.
“‘toru?” Suguru says, kinda quiet like he’s stepped away from something. He probably did. Satoru did not think this through. Suguru is working. Jesus. He can just call an Uber. What the hell is he doing?
“Sorry,” he says and can’t modulate his voice. He can’t tell if it’s too quiet. Everything seems very extreme and loud at the moment. “I can call an Uber, fuck.”
“What?” Suguru says and there’s noises like he’s moving. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”
“I– migraine.” Satoru grunts. “It’s like my old ones I don’t– I was fine and now I’m not and I don’t have my meds, not that— they’d just knock me out, but I could sleep in the physics department, only I don’t– I–”
“Where are you?” Suguru says. Satoru hears him say sorry, I need to go and something else to a concerned voice. Suguru’s hand is over the mic so Satoru can’t quite hear his answer, and then Suguru’s voice is back. “‘toru where are you?”
“No,” Satoru says, “you’re doing something. It’s fine.” He blinks back tears and tries to stand. A little shaky but he can make it work. Maybe. “I’ll just– it’s totally fin–”
“Where?” Suguru repeats. “Campus, right? Where on campus, baby?”
“Emory Hall.” Satoru says. Baby, his mind repeats.
“Give me twenty minutes.” Suguru says, real quiet. “I’ll be there, okay? You don’t have your meds?”
“No.” Satoru manages.
“Fifteen minutes.” Suguru says.
Satoru sinks back down to the ground. He closes his eyes and holds his phone to his ear and listens to Suguru repeat I’m almost there, hold on, until suddenly Suguru is, in fact, there. He gets Satoru to his feet and walks him toward the main road. He must have already called for a car because they’re getting in one, Suguru’s hand on Satoru’s waist, the back of his head.
Satoru buries his face in Suguru’s shoulder.
“Hurts.” He says. Fuck, it hurts so bad.
“Shh,” Suguru presses his cool fingertips to Satoru’s temples. It helps in the way it always does. It doesn’t make the pain any less but Satoru knows he doesn’t have to try to do anything anymore, just withstand this one moment and then the next. Suguru will do the rest for him. He exhales, finds Suguru’s hand and just– holds on.
He doesn’t remember the ride. He vaguely conceptualizes they’re in the elevator at Suguru’s building when he squints open his eyes, but he’s on Suguru’s back and everything is bright and hurts so much, so he just closes them again and burrows into Suguru’s hair.
Satoru has his rizatriptan at Suguru’s, obviously. He’s got all his meds here. Suguru gets him into boxers and a giant t-shirt, brings Satoru his meds and water. Suguru is pulling the blinds tight when Satoru finds it in himself to speak properly.
“Sorry.” Satoru manages. “Sorry, were you doing something important?” He tries to remember what Suguru was doing today, what day it is, what Suguru’s schedule is– but it’s all wrong in his head and he can’t think. He feels a tear leak out of the corner of his eye. Fuck he feels nauseous.
“Nothing is more important.” Suguru says, like that’s a thing he can just say, like he would have walked out of anything for Satoru no matter what. Well. He might have. Satoru would probably walk out of his own wedding if Suguru called and said i need you in that voice he gets, like when his depression was real bad early in college and he didn’t know how to deal with it yet. “Just rest, baby.” Suguru says and presses a kiss to his forehead.
Satoru gamely tries to give him a thumbs up and then lets everything slide away and knocks out.
He wakes up what’s gotta be like five hours later feeling not great but better. There’s still a bit of a throb above his eye because he didn’t catch the migraine quick enough and his head feels all cotton stuffed slow because of the meds, but he’s definitely, like, human again.
Suguru is working on something on the couch when Satoru exits the bedroom.
“Hey,” he says, shifting so Satoru can plop down. Satoru puts his head in Suguru’s lap, heedless of his laptop. “Okay,” Suguru says, “drink some water first though.” Satoru grumbles but sits up and drinks some of the bottle of water Suguru is holding out. “Gonna eat, gonna shower, gonna get back in bed, bud.” Suguru tells him, like he’s in charge of Satoru’s life or something.
“You’re not in charge of me.” Satoru says, putting his head back in Suguru’s lap. “Okay.” He adds. “These are great sweatpants.” He rubs his cheek on them as Suguru strokes his head.
Honestly speaking, Satoru could leave. He could make it home. Suguru would take him even, make sure he’s good. But he doesn’t want to leave. He wants to be with Suguru, even though with a migraine he should probably be alone. He’s either freaking out from pain or dead to the world. Either way is less than fun. Suguru rubs Satoru’s neck and doesn’t suggest he leaves.
Suguru makes them ochazuke for dinner, gives Satoru a strawberry daifuku when he finishes his bowl. Satoru eats it curled up next to Suguru, goes and takes a quick shower, brushes his teeth, and crawls back into Suguru’s bed.
He’s half asleep when Suguru gets in later, all freshly showered and smelling like bergamot. He kisses Satoru’s forehead so Satoru tilts his head up and kisses Suguru for real. Suguru makes a little surprised sound which is cute so Satoru deepens the kiss, licks into his mouth all minty with toothpaste. He falls back on his pillow and smiles at Suguru.
“Sorry.” He says again. “I hope I didn’t fuck up your day.”
Suguru shakes his head and points at his little reading lamp like is this gonna bother you? Satoru yawns out a no and punches at his pillow to get it right under his head.
“G’night.” He says. Suguru’s fingers are gentle on his temples.
“Night, Satoru.” He says softly.
Satoru sorta misses being called baby, to be honest. He’s not gonna make it weird and say that though, so instead he just lets sleep take him down.
Like a week later, they’re at the bar to annoy Suguru who picked up a few hours to cover for someone.
“Lay off the murder eyes.” Shoko says to Satoru and kicks him in the shin.
“Fucking ow.” Satoru tells her. “I don’t have murder eyes.”
“You do, actually.” Utahime says. “You’re staring so hard at that guy it’s alarming.”
“I don’t trust him.” Satoru says.
“He’s just talking to Suguru.” Nanami sounds so tired. It’s like– why does he hang out with them if they all tire him so much? Why does he jump to their defense all the time like he cares about them? Why does he always smell like freshly baked bread? Why does his face light up when he sees Haibara? Why’s he all in love and healthily in touch with his feelings and shit?
“What?” Shoko says.
“Nanami is in touch with his feelings and disgustingly in love with Yuu.” Satoru repeats. He loves calling Yuu ‘Yuu’. He’s allowed, this isn’t Japan, he can do what he wants with anyone’s given name. Nanami frowns at him. “Haibara-kun is my friend.” Satoru tells him witheringly.
“We are friends,” Haibara says cheerfully, coming back from the bar with drinks for him and Nanami. “Here you go, babe.”
Nanami legit kisses his forehead. Satoru frowns.
“What did I miss?” Haibara asks, looking between them all.
“Satoru is mad that Suguru is talking to a man,” Utahime says sweetly, “and that you and Nanami have a healthy relationship.”
“Aw.” Haibara says and kisses Nanami’s cheek. Nanami smiles at him super soft.
“Despicable.” Satoru tells them. He’s so outnumbered by couples here. “Anyway, I just don’t trust that guy.” He explains, gesturing at said guy. “He’s suspiciously in Suguru’s space, like, look at him— it’s like he thinks he knows Suguru.”
They all look.
Suguru is leaned forward on the bar to hear something the guy is saying, their heads close. He laughs in response and smiles at the guy. It’s disgusting. It’s Suguru’s customer service smile, not his real one, but the guy doesn’t know that. Fuck, what if the guy says something that makes Suguru laugh for real? Smile his real smile? Then Suguru might give the guy his number and they would go on a date. What if the next time Satoru sees him Suguru is smiling at this douchebag and it’s the smile he usually reserves for Satoru, that real gentle one? And then they’ll be dating, fucking, and Satoru’ll have to hang out with this distrustworthy fucker and his punk band t-shirt and stupid ripped jeans that actually kinda match Suguru’s aesthetic. What if this asshole doesn’t know Suguru needs to wake up slow, doesn’t know how to make Suguru’s coffee in the morning or they get married and he forgets to walk their dogs?
“God, he probably won’t even want yellow gold wedding rings,” Satoru tells the table at large, because the guy is wearing all silver jewelry, “and yellow gold looks so good on Suguru. Plus, Suguru loves it. Fucking jackass.”
“What the fuck.” Utahime says pleasantly to him.
“I think he’s just ordering a drink,” Haibara says, “so they’re probably not gonna get engaged.”
“Yet.” Satoru says darkly.
“I’m gonna send you the number for my therapist.” Shoko says. “She’s really great, I think you’ll like her. She can help you get medicated too for whatever the fuck it is that you’ve got going on right now.”
“Idiocy?” Utahime says.
“Delusional jealousy.” Nanami says. Utahime snaps and points at him like yeah actually.
“I’m not jealous.” Satoru says witheringly. Is he jealous? Is that what’s happening? He has no right to be jealous. He’s not jealous. He just doesn’t trust the guy. Plus Suguru doesn’t need to fuck that guy. Suguru has Satoru who is a way better lay definitely probably and Satoru knows how Suguru likes his eggs in the morning. “Excuse me.” He says vaguely.
The guy is still leaning toward Suguru who is still smiling at him because he’s the best guy in the world. It’s why he’s good at dealing with shitty parents and stuff, like as a hospital social worker and a youth soccer coach, and just in general— like he doesn’t even get road rage for real.
“Hey.” Satoru says, slides onto the stool one down from the nameless fucker. He has good hair, all brown and curly and framing his stupid eyes.
“Hey,” Suguru says, and smiles that smile. That’s the one. That’s Satoru’s. Fuck this guy. The guy smiles at Satoru and takes a sip of his drink and looks up at the TV over the bar. Playing it cool. Satoru hates him. “What’s up, ‘toru?” Suguru asks, taps the bar in front of him. “You good?”
“Uh-huh.” Satoru tilts his head. He can see the guy glancing at them out of the corner of his eye. “Was wondering if you wanted to come over when you get off.” He reaches out and plays with Suguru’s fingers on the bartop as he speaks.
“Yeah?” Suguru says after a second. He tilts Satoru’s face up with his other hand. Looks at him seriously like he wants to make sure they’re on the same page here. His thumb is by Satoru’s mouth.
“Yeah.” Satoru agrees and tilts his head so he can press a kiss to Suguru’s thumb. Suguru’s eyes darken and he opens his mouth like he’s gonna say something, but Satoru doesn’t wait for a response. He lifts up, gets right by Suguru’s ear, and whispers, “I want to cum on your cock so bad. Don’t keep me waiting, okay?”
“‘toru.” Suguru says, like he’s being strangled.
Satoru pulls back and smiles sweetly at Suguru, who looks like he’s been hit by a two by four, and then smiles just as sweetly at the guy, who definitely heard, and then pushes off the stool and saunters back to their table. He sits down and looks back at Suguru. Suguru looks like he wants to hop over the bar, grab Satoru, and break some public decency laws. Mission accomplished.
“What the fuck was that.” Utahime says.
Satoru takes a large drink.
“Did Suguru touch your mouth?” Haibara asks.
“No.” Satoru says. He taps his empty glass on the table. “I’ve gotta go now, goodbye friends.”
“What?” Shoko says. “Gojo,” she calls after him, “why–”
Satoru waves goodbye at Suguru when he leaves. Suguru looks sorta pissed, like he does when he’s really turned on.
Satoru’s gonna get dicked down so good.
Suguru is on him the second that Satoru lets him in the door, which really does it for Satoru, honestly. He gets a laugh out before Suguru has him pressed into the wall. He’s got his hand tight on Satoru’s jaw, a little possessive with it. It’s so hot. Satoru’s so fucking into it. Suguru wastes no time licking into his mouth, kissing him deep, thigh between Satoru’s legs like he’s gonna get him off right here. Maybe he wants to. Maybe he’s gonna.
“Fuck.” Satoru says and kicks his hips up. He palms Suguru as best he can and Suguru’s, like, already hard. “Fuck yeah, come on,” he says, in between kisses, getting Suguru’s jeans undone.
“What the fuck was that about?” Suguru says, “Had to work the rest of my shift thinking about how you look when I fuck you—” He’s got his hands in Satoru’s sweats now. “God,” he says, palming Satoru’s ass, squeezing it and spreading him. He slides a finger in between Satoru’s cheeks and then stills completely.
Satoru laughs again. Bites Suguru’s ear.
Suguru strokes between his cheeks, pressing against his hole. The tip of his fingers sinks into Satoru. Satoru exhales sharply, buries his face in Suguru’s shoulder.
“Did you fucking prep yourself, ‘toru?” Suguru asks. “Did you come home and fuck yourself while you waited for me?”
“Didn’t even cum.” Satoru says, wiggling to try to get Suguru to slip his finger inside Satoru for real. “Wanted to wait for you. I told you, I wanna cum on your cock. Worked myself open so I could take you easy, be ready for you, good for you. Come on, come on–”
Suguru takes a deep breath and then licks at Satoru’s mouth, teasing him, half kisses. Satoru chases him for a real kiss or pressure on his dick or a finger deeper in him and gets nothing, nada.
“Come on, do something.” He whines, getting himself out of Suguru’s grip so that he can strip Suguru’s clothes off. He tosses his jacket, his shirt, runs fingers appreciatively up his abs. “God, you’re hot. Drives me crazy.” Suguru smells like the bar and Satoru should probably let him go shower or something but he just wants Suguru inside him, only thinking about him, wants to make Suguru cum so hard he forgets other guys even exist.
“What did you think about?” Suguru asks, voice rough. Satoru drops to his knees, tugs Suguru’s pants and boxers down enough that he can get at Suguru’s cock. “Jesus.” Suguru says. Satoru looks up at him through his lashes and pools spit in his mouth so he can press a wet kiss to the head of Suguru’s dick.
“You fucking me at the bar.” He tells Suguru before he sucks Suguru’s cock into his mouth, pushes it against his cheek. It had been an easy fantasy after the way Suguru looked at Satoru when he was leaving. He lingers a little before he pulls off with a pop. Suguru groans, hips twitching forward. “At night after you close, behind the main bar— you could just bend me over and take me right there–”
“There are security cameras,” Suguru gasps, thudding his forearm on the wall, resting his forehead on it to look down at Satoru. Satoru’s busy sliding his mouth over the head of Suguru’s cock and tounging at his foreskin gently. “Oh fuck, like that, baby. Shit. You into voyeurism now, ‘toru?”
“Ruining my fantasy.” Satoru tells him, jerking him off with a slow loose hand. “You didn’t even get me naked, just got enough off you could stick your cock in me. And no.” He pauses, drips spit on the head of Suguru’s dick and watches it trail down his knuckles. He jerks him off a few times, looks up at Suguru. “Are you?”
“No.” Suguru groans as Satoru takes him down again. He’s getting better, takes him deeper, makes Suguru kick his hips forward even when he doesn’t mean to. Satoru hums. Precum spurts into his mouth like Suguru’s close or something. Suguru grabs Satoru by the shoulders and pulls him off, holds him by the jaw to make Satoru look at him. “No one else should get to see how you look when I make you cum.” He says, sounds so fucking possessive it makes Satoru’s dick twitch.
“Fuck,” Satoru says, palming himself. Suguru pulls him to his feet and kisses the taste of himself out of Satoru’s mouth while Satoru runs his hands over Suguru’s bare skin. God, he wants to leave marks all over him. He wants someone to look and know Suguru is taken. Taken? “Why were you talking to that fucking guy?” He asks nonsensically. “He was hitting on you.”
“Who cares, I wasn’t hitting on him,” Suguru says, pulling Satoru’s shirt off. He presses a kiss by Satoru’s collarbone, licks at his skin.
“You don’t need him.” Satoru tugs at Suguru’s hair hard so that Suguru lifts his head and kisses him again.
“I don’t,” Suguru agrees, kissing him back all messy, “what the fuck, toru?”
Satoru can’t explain. He tilts Suguru’s head back and sucks a hickey on his neck, too high to be covered in a t-shirt. Suguru’s hips kick against him so Satoru drags his mouth to another spot, does it again, really works it over. He pushes off of the wall so he can walk them toward his bedroom.
“I want to ride you,” he announces, likes the way Suguru’s breath catches, “thought about that, fucked my fingers and imagined getting you down on the floor and getting your cock out and fucking myself on it.” Satoru shucks off his sweats, pushes Suguru toward his bed. “Not letting you touch me, just making you watch and take it while I made myself cum on your dick.”
“Jesus.” Suguru says, kicks his clothes fully off, falls back on the bed “Come here,” he pulls Satoru on top of him and into a kiss that goes a little haywire when he slides a finger into Satoru. Suguru adds a second and scissors them, then tentatively presses a third finger in. Satoru jolts on top of him but takes it easily. “Yeah, there you go, sweetheart.” Suguru says as Satoru lifts up and fucks himself on Suguru’s fingers. It’s a little dry but it doesn’t feel bad. He used a lot of lube earlier.
“I’m good, I’m good,” Satoru breathes out, leans over to grab the condoms and lube from the nightstand. Suguru doesn’t stop fucking around with his hole, crooks a finger inside him. Satoru drops everything on the bed, a groan caught in his throat. “Suguru,” he manages as Suguru pulls his fingers out.
“‘toru,” Suguru says, “Satoru, fuck, why’re you talking about that guy? What– why would I want anyone but you?” He rubs Satoru’s thighs as he speaks. His eyes are saying something Satoru can’t understand. It’s too much. Satoru’s stomach feels all funny. He feels weird.
“Good.” He says, hates that he sounds so needy, so petulant about it. He shifts.
Suguru looks at him then smiles, slaps his ass.
“You gonna show me how you bounce on my dick, baby?”
“Ugh.” Satoru rolls his eyes. “I hate you. Also yes.”
He gets the condom on, Suguru lubed up, Suguru just watching him, hands glancing over whatever parts of Satoru he can touch. Satoru gets over Suguru on his knees and Suguru holds his dick steady at the base with one hand, squeezes Satoru’s hipbone with the other.
“Mmm, fuck—” Satoru groans as the tip of Suguru’s dick slips inside him. Suguru’s hand clenches on his waist. Satoru pushes down a little more. He loves how he can feel his body adjusting to accommodate Suguru’s dick, make space for Suguru inside him. He loves the feeling of Suguru’s cock fucking him open. He wants more, faster— wants to go for it, fuck down all the way, but Suguru is holding him tight, stroking a thumb on his hip.
“There you go.” Suguru breathes as Satoru works himself down a bit more, circling his hips, “yeah, fuck, like that–”
Satoru decides he has had enough of slow and just goes for it. Sits down fully in one movement.
“Oh–” He gasps out, falling forward. That’s a lot. It’s a lot. Suguru catches him, lifting up with a moan that sounds like it’s been shocked out of him.
“Jesus, fuck– ‘toru,” his hips kick up a little on the bed before he stills them, “holy shit.”
Satoru pants into Suguru’s neck, bites at his skin. He whimpers a little, not from pain exactly, just from so much all at once. He can’t tell where any sensations are coming from. His body is overwhelmed. He moans, voice cracking.
“You okay?” Suguru asks, hands tight on Satoru’s waist. “Sweetheart, you—” Satoru makes the best affirmative sound he can, starting to move his hips in tiny circles as he adjusts. “Oh shit,” Suguru groans, his nails digging in.
Fuck, Satoru’s so full. It’s so good. So much. Suguru hits all the right places inside him and he gets so fucking deep like this. Satoru’s body feels like it’s on fire. He can feel his dick leaking steadily. He’s so hard it kinda hurts. He pushes himself to sitting, hands on Suguru’s flexing abs, and Suguru’s cock pushes even deeper somehow.
“Yeah,” Satoru says, hips jerking a little at how good it feels, the word half a moan, “yeah, fuck—” He starts to move his hips again, circling them and grinding down.
“God, look at you,” Suguru whispers, running hands up Satoru’s trembling thighs and his hips and across his stomach.
Satoru knows he’s hot. He knows he looks hot fucking, he’s fucked in front of mirrors before, had girls tell him before. He’s never seen himself from this angle, but he can take a guess. He’s had girls riding him and he knows how hot that is and, when Suguru’s fucking him, it’s hot as shit watching his body work and his muscles flex. But there’s something about the way Suguru says it, hands trailing, that makes Satoru think even if he lost all his muscle mass, didn’t have the same body type he has now, Suguru would still look at him exactly the same– that almost reverent shit in his eyes. He would still run hands over Satoru’s body and say god, look at you. Suguru has seen Satoru immediately post-vomit, seen him vomiting, all tears and spit and bile, and still looked at Satoru like that, still pressed their foreheads together and told Satoru i’m here, you’re gonna be okay.
“Satoru,” Suguru whispers, strokes his skin, “‘toru, baby,” he says and looks at Satoru so tenderly, like Satoru is the only thing in the whole world. It makes Satoru’s stomach feel warm, like he’s gonna cum but emotionally or something.
He can’t take it.
He lifts up and fucks back down.
“Oh fuck,” he mumbles, eyes falling closed as he sets up a rhythm, working himself on Suguru’s cock. Suguru groans and, yeah, that’s it. Satoru wants to make Suguru feel good. He wants to take care of him.
“Gonna take care of you,” he tells Suguru as he fucks himself on Suguru’s dick. He blinks open his eyes so he can see Suguru, “Gonna make you feel good, won’t be able to think about anyone but me.” Too honest at the end there, but it slips past his lips. He can’t think. He’s so full, everything is all Suguru, all inside and out of him.
Suguru groans out a laugh. “Always, ‘toru,” he says, all nonsensical, “that’s always true.” Maybe he feels as fucked out as Satoru. “Satoru,” he says, kicks his hips up, “‘toru—”
Satoru whines, head lolling to the side. He can feel tears slipping down his cheeks, body overwhelmed. It feels so good to have Suguru’s cock in him, Suguru’s eyes on him. He collapses forward onto Suguru for a messy kiss, rocking his hips down, keeping Suguru deep.
“Feels so good.” He pants as he noses into Suguru’s neck. “Your cock’s so good, S’guru, makes me feel so good.” Suguru fucks his hips up a little like he can’t help it. Satoru’s voice cracks on the words, slips into a moan. “Yeah,” Satoru slurs, “yeah, your cock’s made for me, S’guru, I’m made to take it—”
“Oh god.” Suguru says, sounding like he’s choking.
“I am,” Suguru gasps, feeling a little delirious. “I’m made for your cock, made for you.” He trails his open mouth up Suguru’s neck, licking at the salt sweat of his skin. “Tell me.” He demands, grinds down as he cups Suguru’s face, bites his lower lip, licks at it. “Tell me I am.”
“Satoru,” Suguru mumbles, sounding almost pained, “‘toru, I— ”
“Tell me,” Satoru rolls his hips down, “It’s true, isn’t it?” He’s desperate for it, looks at Suguru’s wide eyes, strokes over his cheekbones with his thumbs. Suguru nods slightly, mouth open. Satoru licks at his teeth. “So tell me.” He demands. “Please tell me.” He begs.
“Yeah,” Suguru gasps, “yeah, fuck, you’re made for me, Satoru.”
“Uh-huh,” Satoru agrees. “M’perfect for you?” He asks, arching his back as Suguru’s nails scrape up his thighs, dig into his ass. Suguru’s eyes are wild. He nods again, looks like he can’t speak. Satoru pushes himself up to sitting. “Yeah,” he breathes out, circling his hips, “yeah, Suguru, m’your baby, right?”
“Fuck, I’m gonna— I’m— close,” Suguru says all strangled, “oh fuck, ‘toru, I—” Suguru moans when Satoru lifts almost all the way off and fucks back down. Satoru does it again. He wants to make Suguru feel even better. He starts riding Suguru hard, legs muscles straining. “Shit,” Suguru says, “fuck, shit—”
“S’guru–” Satoru can’t get air into his lungs. He looks down at Suguru desperately, legs shaking. Suguru surges up and kisses him. Satoru’s overwrought, kisses back messily, whole body trembling. Suguru holds Satoru’s jaw steady to control the kiss, his other hand on the small of Satoru’s back guiding his movements deep and slow.
“Satoru—” Suguru breathes.
Satoru doesn’t know how to explain. He has all these words but he can’t organize them right, just keeps stuttering out breaths, sobbing, while he tries to kiss Suguru back. He cups Suguru’s face. He doesn’t want anyone else, not for anything, and he doesn’t want Suguru to want anyone else either. Satoru wants to be enough for Suguru all the time, all the ways, because he— he— because he— because Suguru—
“You’re mine,” Satoru sobs. “Mine.”
“Yours.” Suguru agrees breathlessly. He swings his legs off the side of the bed so he’s stable and can fuck up into Satoru hard. “I’m yours, Satoru.” He promises as he does.
“Yeah,” Satoru gasps and looks at Suguru looking at him and— oh.
Oh.
Satoru gets it. He gets it. It’s because he loves Suguru, like, is completely head over fucking heels in love with Suguru.
“Suguru—” he manages and then he’s cumming so hard his vision wipes out. His body goes limp in Suguru’s lap and Suguru fucks up into him and then lays him out on the bed, fucks him through it. Satoru can feel the bed shake at the force of Suguru’s thrusts, Suguru nearly folding Satoru in half. It’s so good. It’s so much. Satoru sobs, hands tugging at Suguru’s hair, as he tries to kiss him.
“Satoru,” Suguru pants, manhandling him and getting a hand tight on Satoru’s thigh to hold it around his waist, the other sliding to the back of Satoru’s neck, as he presses their bodies together, “baby—” Suguru thrusts in hard, grinds deep in him. “Are you mine, baby?” Suguru whispers into his mouth. “Say you’re mine.”
“Yours,” Satoru babbles, “swear it, yours, only yours, made for you, your baby, only your baby—”
“Fuck,” Suguru moans, “fuck—” Satoru can feel Suguru’s dick jerk as he cums, his hips fucking forward in sharp movements as he works himself through his orgasm. Satoru clings to him and sobs, repeating his name over and over. Suguru presses their foreheads together and doesn’t pull out even after he finishes, just grinds deep because he knows, he fucking knows, exactly how Satoru likes it. When Suguru does pull out he pushes his fingers into Satoru. Satoru cries out, hands grabbing at Suguru’s wrist. It’s so much. He doesn’t know if he wants Suguru to stop or keep going.
“Oh please,” he moans because Suguru will know what to do, what he’s asking for even if Satoru doesn’t know. Satoru can’t organize his thoughts, can’t see straight, can’t stop shaking. Suguru touches him like there’s nothing he’d rather be doing, playing with Satoru’s hole and his sticky cock, pressing kisses onto Satoru’s body while he repeats over and over baby, my baby, sweetheart, you’re so good. Satoru can’t stop whimpering, tugs at Suguru’s hair. Every part of his body feels oversensitive.
“I think I’m, like, still cumming,” Satoru slurs, arching up into Suguru. “I need— I need—”
“Anything.” Suguru whispers. “Everything.”
Satoru can’t think. He bites Suguru’s fingers, sucks at them so he won’t say I love you.
“Keep touching me,” Satoru says around Suguru’s fingers in his mouth. They tug his lower lip down as Suguru drags them out. “Want you to— rim me—”
“Yeah, fuck.” Suguru presses a kiss to his temple. “C’mere.” He pulls Satoru up on his shaky legs to the edge of the bed.
“Oh god,” Satoru says, shaking from the chill of the air on his Suguru-warmed skin, and mostly from Suguru’s hands spreading him, thumbs tugging his rim open so he can work his tongue inside. He starts finger fucking Satoru too after a bit, three fingers as he licks into him. The feeling is so intense it’s almost painful. Satoru loves it. He loves Suguru. “Oh god,” he sobs, “oh fuck.” Suguru finger fucks him and tugs at his oversensitive dick, bites and kisses his skin, keeps telling him how good he is until Satoru’s shaking and crying and begging all over again. “Please, can I– I wanna cum, S’guru, please, can I?”
“‘toru,” Suguru says, his voice strained. “God, yeah, you can cum, cum for me. You’re so good.” He palms the head of Satoru’s dick as he speaks.
Satoru sobs, his face a mess with tears and spit, and cums all over Suguru’s hand and the bed. He feels it hit up under his jaw. He groans in overstimulation as Suguru keeps working his cock with a loose circle of wet fingers. Suguru slows down his hand and Satoru grabs at it, tightens Suguru’s grip on his cock.
“Satoru,” Suguru’s voice is broken. He stands up and drapes himself over Satoru to kiss the back of his neck. His hard cock slides in between Satoru’s cheeks, tip wet, like making Satoru a mess is enough to get Suguru leaking
“Fuck me,” Satoru chokes out, pushing back.
“You just—” Suguru groans, “‘toru, you just came again, it’ll be— isn’t it too much—?”
“Need it.” Satoru gets out around a moan. “Please, m’yours, want you inside me, I—tell you if s’too much, need you—”
“Okay, fuck,” Suguru gasps, “let me get a condom, baby. Hold on—”
I don’t want one, Satoru thinks, realizing how much he means it as it occurs to him, I want you to cum inside me, I want to feel you dripping out of me, Suguru, please—
“Hurry,” He gasps. He can’t formulate the right words and Suguru won’t fuck him raw just because Satoru says to. Not when he’s all cum drunk and fucked out and barely able to string words together. Suguru’s the type to make sure that’s a real conversation which is, like, good of him. It’s why Satoru loves him. Oh wow, he loves him. “Hurry,” Satoru pleads.
Suguru flips him over and fucks him slow and deep. It’s way too much. The pleasure is too intense, almost sharp. It’s perfect. Satoru twists underneath him and begs for Suguru to hold him down. Suguru pins his wrists with one hand, pinches and plays with his nipples with the other. He tells Satoru he’s good. He’s perfect. He’s Suguru’s. He gets Satoru’s leg up over his elbow while he fucks him. He tells Satoru he’s the best thing in Suguru’s whole life, the best fuck he’s ever had, the best person he’s ever met.
Satoru’s disconnected from his body. He’s flying.
“S’guru,” he sobs, “baby, don’t stop.”
“Yeah?” Suguru whispers against his lips. “I’m your baby?”
“Mine.” Satoru whines through tears, arches into Suguru’s body. “Suguru, you’re m’baby, you’re mine.”
“Oh fuck,” Suguru moans. He makes the sound that means he’s about to come, that harsh exhale. Satoru feels him cum and wishes, god he wishes—
His body shakes as he cums dry. He wasn’t sure he would, that he could, honestly. It takes forever to come down. He can’t stop sobbing, Suguru kissing him and kissing him, whispering praises. Satoru’s not sure he does come down, honestly. It’s all a blur. He doesn’t really remember the bath, just the feeling of the water and Suguru’s strong body behind him, holding him up. The sweetness of fruit on his tongue. He sort of remembers getting dried off, brushing his teeth, peeing. Vague memory imprints. He remembers falling into bed and pulling Suguru’s mouth to his. He remembers lying there as his body continued to come back to him in increments.
“Suguru,” he says, which might be the same thing he’s been saying but he can feel each syllable in his mouth. He licks his lips. “Suguru, holy fuck.” He adds.
Suguru kisses his forehead. His mouth.
“Hi,” he whispers. “Hey, ‘toru.”
“I don’t want a condom next time, I want to feel you cum inside me—” Satoru blurts out, unable to stop himself. He wants Suguru to know, wants it so bad. Wanted it so bad.
Suguru stops kissing him, shuddery breaths glancing over Satoru’s lips. Suguru’s fingers brush over Satoru’s cheekbones, his jaw.
“‘toru.” He whispers.
“I’m not fucking anyone else.” Satoru adds, not sure it needs to be said, it should be obvious, but— Suguru just keeps looking at him. “I haven’t, I swear. I don’t even want to.” He adds. He touches Suguru’s cheek softly. “Is it— do we— do we need one?” He adds quietly. His heart feels vaguely like it’s breaking. He hadn’t considered that— of course they hadn’t said they were, like, exclusive— it’s just that Satoru thought— but Suguru maybe—
He makes a soft sound of distress.
“Shh,” Suguru says, holding his jaw gently so Satoru meets his eyes. “No, we don’t need one. Fuck. No, baby. I haven’t been with anyone else, don’t want to. God, Satoru, you have to know that. I wouldn’t. I haven’t. Not for a long time, there’s you, there’s only you. How could I want anyone else, how could I—” Suguru’s lips are all pale like when he gets anxious, he’s biting at them. Satoru thumbs the lower one out from between his teeth.
“I believe you.” He whispers.
“I’ve never—” Suguru blinks at him, stroking his face, “I’ve never done it without a condom, Satoru.”
“Yeah?” Satoru asks softly. “Wanna do it? Fuck me raw, get me pregnant?” Suguru’s eyes flash, tongue darting out to touch his lower lip. “Oh wow,” Satoru feels delighted, all syrup slow like he’s drunk, “is that a thing for you?” Suguru makes a little sound and Satoru laughs breathlessly. “Yeah? You gonna fuck me so good I get pregnant? Is my ass so good biology no longer applies, baby? Gonna—”
“God, shut up.” Suguru says with a sigh, nosing into Satoru’s neck. Satoru smiles dreamily at the ceiling and pets Suguru’s head. There’s a pause and then Suguru speaks in that low silky voice he uses to tell Satoru to say please, or that he’s going to fuck him good he forgets his name, or that Satoru’s so good, so tight, so perfect. “Yeah,” Suguru says and Satoru shivers, “yeah, I’ll get you pregnant if you want, baby. Fuck my cum into you so deep it’ll drip out of you for days.” He bites Satoru’s neck and heat travels all up and down Satoru’s spine, burns low in his belly.
Wow. Okay. Well then.
“Turns out I’m into it too.” Satoru manages after a second. Suguru snorts into his neck but then presses a soft kiss there. He lifts his head up, eyes strangely vulnerable.
“You’d want to?” He asks softly. “Think about it, okay? I don’t mind using condoms. I want you comfortable. I can get tested again, we can both go, if you want.”
Yeah. That’s why Satoru loves him. He loves him so much. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Okay,” he croaks and then goes to say something else but a yawn interrupts the words. His jaw cracks. “Ow.” He mumbles, pouting
Suguru brushes his hair back.
“We should sleep. It’s— extremely late.”
Satoru is going to argue, just because, but Suguru’s right, it had to be obscenely late. Plus he’s so tired, so thoroughly fucked out, so thoroughly fucked good. His brain is still floating in the clouds. He doesn’t think he’ll ever come down.
Suguru strokes his cheek and tells him goodnight and Satoru’s, like, half asleep already, like his body was just waiting for permission. He feels Suguru settle beside him. He hears Suguru say his name softly, half a question. Satoru’s not sure if he’s dreaming that Suguru is speaking or not. His body’s too heavy to move, respond.
“I’ve always been yours, ‘toru.” Suguru whispers. “You don’t even have to be mine too, if you don’t want. But I’ll always be yours.”
Satoru thinks he feels the press of Suguru’s mouth on his temple but it’s the faintest trace of a memory.
He sleeps in and still wakes up before Suguru. He doesn’t know when he actually fell asleep, what was a dream. He still half feels like he’s floating. He kisses Suguru’s forehead and the corner of his mouth and then all around his face until he starts mumbling and frowning.
“Get up, sleepyhead.” Satoru whispers, pressing another kiss to the corner of Suguru’s mouth. Suguru smiles softly, doesn’t open his eyes. “It’s almost noon.” Satoru whispers before he gets up and brushes his teeth, heads to make them coffee. A few minutes later Suguru comes into the kitchen and puts his head on Satoru’s bare shoulder, wraps his arms around Satoru’s waist. He just holds on while Satoru gets mugs down and pours coffee for them. He shuffles to the fridge with Satoru to get Satoru’s creamer and only stops holding him when Satoru starts talking about food. Satoru makes them breakfast and Suguru gets more talkative as he wakes up, just like always. Suguru offers to clean up the kitchen but Satoru kicks him out because Satoru is free until a lecture at 4, but Suguru has a shift at 2.
Suguru texts him like five minutes after he leaves because he sees a street cat and thinks Satoru would like her. Satoru gets that emotionally cumming feeling again.
For the sake of a trial, he decides to do a thought experiment. He tries to imagine fucking another guy. He hates it. He tries to imagine fucking a girl. He hates it. He tries to imagine Suguru fucking someone else, that guy from the bar, and gets so mad he legit wants to toss said guy in a lake. Egg his house or some real immature shit. He doesn’t want to fuck anyone else and he doesn’t want Suguru to fuck anyone else and that does not nearly cover it. That is not the scope of what is happening inside his head.
He imagines Suguru saying they have to stop fucking and it’s okay, as long as he and Suguru are still okay. Sucks to lose the best sex he’s ever had, but it’s fine as long as he doesn’t lose Suguru. He imagines Suguru saying I found someone I want to be with and that makes him feel upset in the strangest way. He squirms when he imagines never getting to make Suguru his morning coffee again. Never getting to hear him rant about disparities in the mental health system or watch his face get gentle when he talks about the kids he works with. He imagines never spending another lazy Sunday on the couch together, never getting to eat another one of Suguru’s dinners. He imagines Suguru never directing his gentle smile at Satoru again. He imagines a life where Suguru is with someone, dating someone, committed to someone with that beautiful dedication he applies to all things in his life– and that someone is not Satoru.
Wow, bad idea. This was a bad fucking idea. Satoru’s gonna cry.
Right. Okay. Original conclusion correct. Satoru loves Suguru and also, as it happens, he’s in love with Suguru. Like, Hallmark movie type romance shit. If Suguru has a husband, Satoru wants it to be him. He would make Suguru coffee and hold him when things are hard and never forget to walk their dogs. He would take out the trash and buy the right toothpaste and make sure that Suguru knew he was safe and protected and loved. He would make so fucking sure that Suguru always knew that.
Satoru’s got feelings. All of the feelings. God, fuck. Sure, Suguru is into the sex and, you know, loves Satoru and all— but Satoru is in love and Suguru signed up to fuck Satoru because he likes to watch Satoru cum untouched.
“Well,” Satoru says to his empty apartment, “listen, bud. I guess—” His phone buzzes with another text from Suguru, telling him to come over tomorrow because Suguru bought stuff for carbonara the other day and wants Satoru to try a new recipe with him and also that Satoru should come sleep over tonight, if he wants, even though Suguru gets off late. Satoru wants. He blinks back tears and looks at his ceiling. “Bud,” he whispers and his voice cracks.
He’s got nothing.
He’s fucked.
“Chat, are we cooked?” Satoru says as Utahime opens her and Shoko’s door four days later. He’s been trying to come to emotional terms with the ‘I love Suguru’ development all by himself. It has not worked.
“I wish I hadn’t let you up when you buzzed.” Utahime says seriously but she’s stepping back and ushering him into the apartment. “Come on,” she sighs, “we’re getting ready.” He has no idea what they’re getting ready for, but he does love watching them get ready and booing or cheering at outfits. Plus sometimes Utahime lets him pick her eyeshadow colors so that’s cool. Her eyeshadow is done though. The hits keep coming. He kicks off his shoes and follows her into her and Shoko’s bedroom, wringing his hands.
Shoko gives him a weird look and then looks at Utahime. Utahime settles onto the bed with a shrug at her.
“No idea.” She says, clearly meaning what the fuck is up with Satoru.
“What are you getting ready for?” Satoru asks.
“Duh,” Shoko says as she does something with her eyeliner. Suguru used to wear eyeliner sometimes. It was hot. “Geto’s working. We’re going to the bar to bother him.”
“Funny story,” Satoru says and tosses himself onto the bed by Utahime. “Suguru and I fucked.”
“Yeah.” Utahime rolls her eyes. “We were unfortunately graced with that knowledge when it happened.”
“Uh.” Satoru says.
Shoko puts her eyeliner down and spins on her little stool thing so that she’s facing Satoru. She looks super deadly.
“Satoru.” She says, all even like which means he’s really fucked up somehow.
“He was inside me, Shoko.” Satoru pleads. Utahime makes a strangled sound from behind him and kicks him in the ribs. It barely registers.
“Satoru.” Shoko says again. “I am aware you and Suguru have fucked twice.” Satoru doesn’t remember telling her about the second time, but then– the bar thing. She probably gathered they fucked again. “Please tell me that is the extent of you and him fucking.”
“That is,” Satoru says hesitantly, “not quite the extent of it. We fucked three times.”
Shoko keeps looking at him.
“Fine, four times, fuck you.” Satoru says.
Shoko glares at him.
“Fine,” he throws up his hands, “you win. Many times, we’ve been fucking, there has been a lot of fucking– that’s not the point. The point is that I’m in love with Suguru.”
“Yeah.” Utahime says, like this is old news. Shoko had stopped looking at Satoru somewhere in the middle of him talking to text someone furiously, which is rude. She tosses her phone on the bed and sits beside him.
“Bud.” She says, reaching out and holding his hands.
“Oh my god,” Satoru looks between the two of them, “did you both know I was in love with Suguru?”
Utahime smiles and pats his thigh not comfortingly at all.
“Yeah.” She says, like he’s a fool.
“How long have I been in love with him?” Satoru looks blankly between them. “Oh my god.” He pulls his hands free and points at Utahime. “You said my gay realization was a decade late, have I been in love with him since I was eighteen?”
“Shoko said that. I said more than a decade. You’ve been in love with him since you were sixteen.” Utahime responds.
Shoko’s phone buzzes. Satoru looks at it on instinct. It’s Nanami being like I’ll check on him which, like, okay? Is something wrong with Haibara? Why is Shoko telling Nanami that? Why wouldn’t Nanami know that? Satoru looks at the phone and then looks at Shoko. She doesn’t even care that he’s reading her text messages. He really is cooked. He doesn’t know why though.
“I love him so much.” Satoru says, breaking a little.
“I know.” Shoko shakes her head somewhere between comfortingly and exasperatedly. “Okay,” She adds, “you know what, I’m going to tell you what I told S—”
Utahime coughs loudly and makes big eyes at her, shakes her head slightly.
“Someone else,” Shoko says, after a second, “who is going through the same thing—”
Satoru frowns. “You know someone else who’s in love with their fuckbuddy who is also their best friend?”
“Apparently.” Shoko says darkly. “Although I was only given some of that information.”
Satoru stares at her. “Who?” He asks. “Do I know them, maybe we can start a support group.”
“That’s not the point, bud. Focus.” Utahime says.
“Right.” Satoru straightens. “The advice. Okay. Hit me.”
“Okay,” Shoko says, “I want you to, like, sit with this, okay?” She waits for Satoru to nod. “Geto is actively fucking you and spends all his time with you and genuinely cares about you, yeah?” Satoru nods again. “So, think real hard about some explanations for that as in, like, Geto’s possible feelings for you.”
Satoru stares at her. He got into good posture and everything for that?
“I’m his best friend.” Satoru despairs. “He doesn’t feel the same way about me. I know he loves me, Shoko, but it’s different. Obviously.” He flops back on their bed and stares at the ceiling. “Leave me here to die.” He tells them.
“Or we could go get drunk.” Utahime says after a long moment. “And see Geto.”
Well. Satoru’s never been anything if not helpless for Suguru. Even before he realized he was in love with Suguru he’d go basically anywhere if it meant seeing Suguru smile. A bar four blocks away isn’t that bad.
Like an hour later, he’s in the bar’s bathroom, frantically tapping on his phone.
u were right, he responds to sugaslilnose before he carries on panicking. Suguru tapped Satoru on the nose when he gave him his drink and Satoru had almost dragged Suguru over the bar to kiss him and propose marriage. He gets a question mark in response a bit later. bro (non-gendered), he types, pausing to stare at Suguru’s biceps while he shakes a drink, im like in Love love
He gets no immediate response. Suguru smiles at him and Satoru smiles back totally normally. He’s so normal and chill right now. Nanami gives him a look after Suguru walks away. Okay fine then. Satoru’s so vaguely normal and chill right now.
is he too? sugaslilnose responds when Satoru is at home, brushing his teeth and vibrating out of his skin.
no????? he sends back.
are you, like, sure, sugaslilnose asks.
Satoru stops, toothbrush in his mouth and looks at his phone. Is he sure? Shoko and Utahime had also asked a variation of this question. Told him to think real hard.
He thinks real hard for a second, movie montage style. Suguru tapping him on the nose, making a special drink for him, smiling across the bar at him, eyes all lit up. Suguru making sure he didn’t slip in a puddle, hand on Satoru’s elbow, then his waist, as they walked to a cafe the other day. Suguru in the mornings, resting his forehead on Satoru’s shoulder. Suguru calling him baby, holding him late at night, falling asleep next to him. Suguru sticking by his side during the worst year of his life, and also every year before and after that. Suguru coming to Satoru when he was almost broken, dark circles under his eyes and a deep sadness in his heart. Suguru trusting that Satoru would hold him, keep him safe, until he could do it himself. Suguru letting Satoru rant about anything and everything for hours, chin in his hand, watching him with gentle eyes. Suguru, looking at Satoru like he is something important, something Suguru treasures deeply. Suguru giving Satoru that soft smile he only ever directs at Satoru. Suguru, who loves Satoru and has never given Satoru any reason to doubt that.
“Bro.” Satoru says numbly. He drops his toothbrush.
bud, Satoru types, feeling tingly all the way down to his toes, he might, like, feel the same way
yeah, sugaslilnose says, i think the part where he held u tenderly and called u baby every time u fucked was, like, a giveaway
It’s almost 1AM but he calls Shoko and Utahime anyway.
“What the fuck?” Shoko says.
“Twenty seconds.” Utahime says.
“Chat, we’re so back.” Satoru tells them. “So–”
Shoko hangs up. He had like fifteen seconds left. That’s rude.
[satoru]
i think i migh thave a chance
;ike with suguru
like in a relationship
what do u think
[nanami]
you’ve just realized this?
[satoru]
still not sure but
im thinking he might like me
[nanami]
you’re an idiot.
[satoru]
so do u not think he likes me like that
[haibara]
you should go for it!
good luck!!!
[utahime]
ur dumb as rocks
and that’s being rude to rocks
[shoko]
go get ur man king
tomorrow maybe
It is like 1AM. Satoru goes to bed. He feels too jittery to sleep but it’s important to attempt to maintain sleep hygiene. Suguru has always said that and Satoru listens when it’s Suguru because, Jesus Christ, he’s been in love with Suguru. Maybe since he met him.
Oh my god, Satoru mouths at his ceiling.
Suguru’s doorman lets him up because of course he does, holy shit, the guy thinks they’re dating, doesn’t he? Satoru spends half his time here. He comes here at night, leaves in Suguru’s clothes in the morning, has made Suguru piggyback him all the way to his front door when he loses in rock paper scissors.
Holy shit, are they dating?
Satoru beeps himself into Suguru’s apartment because he knows the code. Jesus Christ. They’re each other’s emergency contacts. He’s an idiot.
“Babe,” he shouts from the door.
“Sure.” Suguru calls back from the kitchen. “I guess.”
Satoru stumbles to the kitchen. Suguru nods hello from where he’s just finished making a smoothie. He still has bedhead even though he’s pulled his hair back. He’s not wearing a shirt, but he’s maybe going to workout soon– he’s got his pre workout supplements on the counter. His smoothie is fucking green. It probably has kale in it.
“Does that have kale in it?” Satoru asks.
Suguru pauses.
“Yes?” He says, like it’s a question.
“Of course it does.” Satoru says. “That’s disgusting. I’m in love with you.”
Suguru jerks and his smoothie sloshes, gets on his hand and the counter.
“Uh.” He says and looks at Satoru. And then he just keeps looking at Satoru, eyes real wide and mouth slightly open.
There’s this incredibly long silence. Satoru’s ears are ringing.
“Bud,” Satoru says, kinda pleading, “I’m saying that I’m in love with you. You gotta say something back.”
“Are you fucking with me?” Suguru asks, not like he’s mad or anything, more like he’s confused.
Not what Satoru expected but he can roll with it.
“Why would I be fucking with you?” He takes a cautious step closer to Suguru. He’s so fucking cute. He’s got a little strand of hair sticking out the top of his ponytail like a sprout.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were like sixteen.” Suguru says, like he’s not sure that he’s speaking in the right language or something. “I don’t— you— what?”
“Really?” Satoru says. He pauses. “Why though?” He asks, legitimately kind of confused. He wasn’t, like, super popular at that age. Suguru was though. “Also, I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I’ve loved you for a long time, that’s for sure.”
Suguru makes a weird little helpless sound.
“What are you talking about, Satoru? What do you— why are you— are you—?” His sentence stumbles to a stop. He looks legitimately distressed, which is not how Satoru wanted this to go down.
“Hear me out,” he says and Suguru gives him a dead-eyed look. Oh right. “Not a sex thing,” Satoru assures him, “just a thing where I keep thinking like— what if you get married and he can’t make your coffee right? I can make your coffee right. I won’t forget to walk the dogs. I know what you like for breakfast.” Suguru looks really confused but Satoru’s in it now. He keeps talking. “I like making you breakfast. I like waking up next to you. I know how to get you out of your head when you’re too in there. I trust you when I can’t trust anything. I know what toothpaste you like.” Satoru’s all over the place here, but it’s a pretty accurate representation of his mind right now. “I can’t imagine a future where you’re not right there beside me, even if we’re not fucking, and then I realized, like, oh— that’s just being with someone. I want to be with you, like—” he trails off and stares at Suguru who is staring back at him. “Yeah,” he finishes, “so, that’s me, bud.”
Suguru blinks. He holds up his hand like he’s trying to say wait a minute but forgets words. He goes to the sink and really methodically washes smoothie off his hand. He dries his hands carefully and then he walks over to Satoru. He stops close enough to touch, looks him dead in the eye.
“You’re in love with me?” He asks and Satoru nods. “No joke, like, you want to be with me?” Suguru looks so vulnerable and precious. Satoru’s having cuteness aggression. He wants to hold Suguru forever. He wants to bite his cheeks. “Like be in a relationship with me?” Suguru confirms.
“You’re my emergency contact.” Satoru answers, “We have locations on for each other. I know your door code. I think of you and feel safe. No disrespect, my man, but I think we’re already in a relationship.”
Suguru smiles that smile, the smile that’s just for Satoru. He cups Satoru’s face. Strokes his cheekbone. It feels so good Satoru shivers.
“Yeah?” Suguru whispers. “I want that too, ‘toru. Want us.”
Satoru wants to melt or explode or something. Both. Can he do both? What does he do with everything inside him? Holy shit.
“Hear me out,” Satoru whispers and Suguru pauses, looks at him like he’s waiting. “Marriage.” Satoru does jazz hands.
“I love you so fucking much.” Suguru says, like that’s a normal response to jazz hands. Satoru’s about to call him out on it but Suguru leans in and kisses him which is like— fuck yeah. Satoru kisses back, gets his hands on Suguru’s bare skin, his slim waist, his strong back, hauls him in close. “I really love you.” Suguru whispers, their lips brushing.
Satoru’s smiling so big his fucking cheeks hurt.
“What a coincidence,” he manages, “me too, bud.”
Suguru laughs and rolls his eyes like he’s sick of him but Suguru’s never sick of Satoru, not ever, lets Satoru be whiny and needy and anything he wants to be and is always, unfailingly, indulgent with him. Suguru kisses him while he’s smiling and Satoru kisses back, lets Suguru push him up against the fridge.
“Come on, do it,” Satoru whispers into Suguru’s mouth when he’s feeling like he’s gonna break apart and can’t take another second, “call me baby, come on.”
“Baby?” Suguru says, pressing little kisses all around his face. It’s ridiculous. It’s so good. “Okay baby,” Suguru whispers, “my baby, huh?”
“Your baby,” Satoru agrees. He holds Suguru’s face steady, cheeks between his palms, presses his forehead to Suguru’s. “You and me, bud. That’s all there is for me. That’s it.” He means it like he doesn’t even understand. “Sorry it took me so long to realize.” He adds.
“Nah,” Suguru pulls back and kisses his forehead, “I wasn’t going anywhere. You’re my best friend no matter what. You’re it for me too. You’ve always been it, it’s always been you.”
“I’ll never forget to walk our dogs.” Satoru tells him earnestly. “I’ll always buy the right toothpaste even if we’re fighting.”
Suguru laughs and it vibrates through his chest, warming Satoru right to his core.
“I know.” He says, thumbs stroking Satoru’s cheeks. “I know, ‘toru.”
“As long as you know.” Satoru says.
Suguru takes him by the jaw to kiss him, that sweet gentle control that Satoru can’t help but yield to. It’s a real deep kiss, the kind that’s so intent, like this is all there is, all there could be and, damn, the way Suguru kisses him really is Satoru’s favorite thing in the whole world.
“Hi baby,” Suguru says softly when their mouths part.
“Hear me out,” Satoru says and Suguru starts to laugh.
Yeah. Satoru’s never gonna get tired of that.
“Oh fuck.” Shoko says, when she sees them. “Now I owe Utahime fifty fucking bucks. You idiots have been dancing around each other for literal years, full on fucking and pretending it means nothing for months. I thought it would take you at least another week to get together.”
“Who says we’re together?” Satoru asks.
“You’re holding hands.” Shoko tells him witheringly.
“We’ve always been touchy.” Suguru argues.
“I hate you two.” Shoko says sweetly, tugging out her wallet like she’s checking she has fifty bucks in it.
“No, you don’t.” Satoru assures her. “Also, who carries around cash anymore?” He wrinkles his nose. “Venmo Utahime the money like a normal person.”
“Don’t you and Utahime share a bank account?” Suguru asks. “Just by the way.”
“You’re both very annoying and also I am genuinely happy for you two.” She says without looking at them.
“Hah.” Satoru says, as Suguru tugs him close, wraps an arm around his waist, kisses his cheek. “Gay.”
“I’m married now.” Satoru tells Megumi who stares at him.
“Okay?” He looks at the ring Satoru is showing him and then back at Satoru’s face. “I’m glad for you.” He says, kinda hesitantly.
“That’s amazing,” Yuuji says, “We should get married too, Megumi.” Megumi blinks at him real slow. “Love wins.” Yuuji says, like it’s an explanation.
“Love wins, bud.” Satoru says and holds out his fist for Yuuji to pound.
“Love fucking wins, man.” Yuuji agrees and slings an arm around Megumi’s shoulders.
Fuck yeah it does, Satoru thinks. His phone buzzes and he knows it’s Suguru before he even looks. Love fucking wins. It fucking rocks. He texts Suguru back with a gratuitous amount of hearts and what he needs from the grocery store.
“Okay.” Satoru says, clapping his hands. He beams at Yuuji who beams back. Megumi blinks.
“Quantum mechanics?” Megumi says after a second.
Oh right.
“Oh right.” Satoru says. “I’m gonna be real, my man. This course is gonna be a bitch.”
There is a small silence.
“At least we’re in love.” Yuuji says encouragingly to Megumi, who looks slightly ill.
“Amen, dude.” Satoru says with a nod as his phone buzzes with Suguru’s response. “Amen.”
♡♡♡