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Bad Ideas

Summary:

Leon and Mace were always close, but after Mace’s divorce…

Well, they got a lot closer, even if that wasn’t the best idea for either of them. Especially tonight.

Especially with booze.

Notes:

So! I love this podcast only to find there’s no content for it yet! So…I shall make it myself for no one but myself! I cannot not ship them and I shall go mad if there is zero content for them so...Enjoy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Leon held his breath as he rang the doorbell, hoping Mace would answer. He adjusted his grip on the bag he’d managed to drive with all the way here without it breaking the contents inside.

“C’mon Mace…” Leon grumbled, adjusting the bag again. “Can’t become a hermit yet you old-“

“Watch it.” Mace’s voice chuckled from behind the door, making Leon jump. "I'm not old enough I'm going deaf."

Leon forced out a snort and rolled his eyes. "Sure, that's why it takes you forever to answer the door."

The door's lock clicked and Mace pulled the door open, half leaning against the doorframe, smirking as he crossed his arms over his open flannel shirt. "Just making sure you actually wanted to come in...so, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Mace nodded to the bag, cocking one eyebrow.

Leon let out a chuckle, grabbing the neck of the whiskey bottle within out just enough for Mace to catch a peek at the label. "Is there a need to enjoy good drinks together?"

"Nah." Mace grinned, stepping aside and motioning for him to come in.

Leon let the bottle settle back into the bag, smiling as he walked past Mace, kicking off his shoes. "Great! You getting the glasses?"

"You know you've come here enough I know you know where I keep them." Mace scoffed, but Leon could see him from the corner of his eye approaching the familiar cabinet as Leon set the bag down on the coffee table next to the old couch that Mace and he had shared many a free evening on to kick back and relax.

"Just bring 'em over will you?" Leon called as he carefully worked the lid off the bottle of whiskey, sitting down on the couch with a sigh.

"Yeah yeah..." There was the clinking of glass before Mace walked back over, dropping heavily into his own spot before passing the two glasses to Leon. "Get us started?"

"You know it." Leon started to carefully pour the amber liquid into both glasses. "So...how goes the divorceuary?"

Mace groaned, rubbing his face. "I thought I told you not to call it that."

"You did, but you also vetoed 'sad lad day' and 'being back on the market holiday' so you've gotta choose your poison, Mace."

Mace let out a low chuckle, rolling his eyes to the ceiling before taking the glass Leon offered out to him. "Fine, fine...guess I should've known what I was in for, letting you come over today."

"Please, we both know you were just dying waiting for me to show up so you wouldn't be all lonely on today of all days." Leon ignored Mace's second eye roll, instead offering out his glass. "Cheers."

Mace clinked his glass softly. "Cheers." He smiled before leaning back and taking a quick swig from the glass.

Leon downed his glass, letting the warm burning sensation blaze its way down his throat as he relaxed back into the couch.

This was what he appreciated most. Whenever they weren't having to hunt down some new case, new horror, and instead just...getting to relax with one of the few people he felt truly got him.

The only thing that would make this better is if Phil had actually been able to come along too. Leon started to pour himself another glass, briefly looking over just in time to catch Mace finishing his own glass, eyes subconsciously locking on the way his throat worked. He quickly forced his gaze back down to his own glass, face starting to burn as he took another sharp swig. Well, maybe not better persay.

"Easy there Leon." Mace chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "Not in a rush now are you?"

"Pfft, nah, no rush. Just enjoying the taste." Leon smirked, looking down into his glass again.

Mace let out a laugh, shaking his head as he reached out to grab the bottle. Leon's eyes silently traced his thick, rough fingers, calloused from all the work they'd done. "Guess I can't argue with that, can I?" Mace filled his glass, giving a soft satisfied hum before he drank again.

Leon tried to focus anywhere else again. It was too easy to get lost watching Mace, he'd often caught himself watching Mace a bit too long when they were working. When Mace was breathing heavily from a quick sprint, when he was stretching on a long stakeout in a way that made his shirt lift a bit too high, or like now, when they were just sitting a bit too close, and all Leon had to do was lean a bit sidewise and he'd fall right against Mace's side.

I could do it so easily, and I could even blame it on being drunk- Leon shook his head sharply, drinking the rest of his glass quickly and trying to ignore the slight spinning in his head. Fuck, I think I am getting a bit too tipsy, get it together.

“Uh…Leon?” Mace’s calm voice broke through Leon’s thoughts quickly.

“Yeah Mace?” Leon tried to sound casual, like his thoughts weren’t continuing to spiral in directions he definitely shouldn’t be letting them-

Only to freeze when he turned his head, Mace’s face only inches away as Leon realized in a panicked rush he’d in fact gotten way drunker than expected…and had somehow slid and leaned slowly over as he drank til he now found himself almost pressed into Mace’s side.

Quickly he jerked back, losing his balance slightly. “Ah-shit-sorry Mace-“

Leon’s words stopped as quickly as his teetering when Mace reached out and caught him. But he didn’t grab his arm like he normally would’ve, like he should’ve.

Mace’s hand was so warm against the back of his neck, steadying him and stopping him from pulling away as Mace studied Leon’s face intently, making his mouth and throat go so so very dry.

Leon tried to swallow, face prickling under Mace’s intense stare.

Mace let out a slow, long breath as he looked across Leon’s face, Leon trying to ignore how he could almost taste the whiskey and smoke on Mace’s breath from this distance. “Leon…why did you come here tonight?”

Leon’s mouth was so dry, he felt like he was burning from the heat in his face. “Mace I-you know why I’m here-“

“Nah, not the reason you always give.” Mace said quietly, and Leon could only focus on the feeling of one of Mace’s fingers starting to slowly rub a circle into his skin. “The bullshit about just wanting to not get me too lonely. Phil is one of the closest people to the both of us, but she doesn’t deal with my bullshit like you do. Like you…always do.” Mace’s eyes dropped finally. “Leon…please, I…I need you to be honest with me.”

Please. Please don’t make me. Please don’t make me say it Mace. Leon tried to pull away. “Mace-“

That was all he got out before warm lips crashed into his, Mace’s tight grip pulling him close and second hand brushing against his side-

Leon didn’t have time to think before he was pressing forward, tasting Mace’s teeth and tongue as he scrabbled desperately to pull Mace closer to him if that was somehow possible.

Leon’s lungs were already burning when Mace abruptly pulled back, he was breathing hard like when they’d have to sprint after a suspect, when adrenaline and excitement and fear all ran fast and hot-

Leon’s stomach flipped at the mere thought that kissing him could get such a similar reaction. “Fuck…M-Mace…”

“Sorry.” Mace whispered hoarsely, starting to pull back. “Shit-sorry, I shouldn’t have just-“

Leon quickly ducked back closer, pressing a quick kiss against Mace’s lips just long enough to shut him up. “Shut up, fucking-shut up Mace. Don't fucking ruin this." Mace's eyes flickered across Leon's face and Leon quickly dipped back in, this time Mace meeting him in the middle. Mace's hands moved to gently brush Leon's sides and Leon barely held back a soft groan before he quickly moved to get closer, sliding one leg quickly over Mace's lap to straddle him as he tangled his hands in the front of Mace's flannel, twisting to get a better angle.

Mace let out a sound that Leon quickly filed away to replay over and over again later, hands quickly wrapping around Leon's waist and pulling him closer, heat pooling in the air between them as Leon broke briefly from the kiss to gasp in a few gulps of air before diving back in again, hungrily taking in the way Mace tasted and how he could feel his warmth through his clothes and yet-yet yet yet, it wasn't enough.

Leon rocked his hips, seeking out friction as he broke again from the kiss, head swimming as he panted, trying to get his thoughts to focus and letting his forehead rest against Mace's.

Mace let out his own shaky little breaths, hands tightening on Leon and making him go still. "Wait...wait...Leon we uh...we should stop..."

"Why?" Leon mumbled. "Fuck Mace c'mon."

Mace let out a short, sharp breath before scrambling his hand down to the side of the couch, flipping the small latch and quickly kicking out the footrest and making the back of the couch drop back. Leon let out a small startled swear as he lurched, having to quickly brace his hands on Mace's chest to keep himself from toppling on top of him completely. Mace smirked up at him briefly before quickly unzipping his own pants and nodding slightly at Leon. Leon quickly scrambled to inch back, tugging down his own zipper and then his waistband to let his dick slip out.

"Fuck...eager aren't you...?" Mace's voice was breathy, but the joke didn't reach his eyes as he looked at Leon with pure desire.

"Shut up." Leon smirked, quickly slipping his hands into Mace's pants and moving til he slid past his waste band and felt Mace's own hardening dick. "Doesn't seem like you're any less excited are you?"

"Heh...yeah, 'suppose you're right bout that one." Mace’s laugh was more just a shaky breath, head dropping back and eyes closing as he let out a soft groan. “Mmmmph…fuck…”

Leon couldn’t help his own growing need, and quickly moved to pull out Mace’s dick but Mace lightly swatted his hands away. “Mace-“

“Let me, eh?” Mace murmured softly before he gently took Leon into his palm.

Leon’s mouth fell open, a gasping moan escaping him when Mace finally gave relief to the burning need in his skin. He leaned forwards and let his head drop against Mace’s shoulder as the large, warm and calloused hand that belonged to the other man worked with eased, confident persistence.

"There we go..." Mace murmured into Leon's ear, stroking gently but steadily.

"Shit-fuck Mace-" Leon gasped, tightening his grip on Mace. "C-C'mon, I haven't waited this fuckin' long for you to take your goddamned time-"

"Jeez, always in a rush aren't you?" Mace teased, pace still so agonizingly slow. "Sure you don't wanna take your time-"

"Mace!" Leon ground out, twisting his head til he could snap his teeth at Mace's neck. "Fucking get a move on this or I'm gonna start causin issues."

Mace shuddered slightly, letting out another noise Leon silently tucked away. "Fuuuuck-yes sir!"

Leon moaned sharply as Mace changed his pace, Leon's body shaking as pleasure started to spike up his spine. He pressed his face against Mace again, trying his hardest to keep his voice down but the sounds that were escaping him only grew louder as Mace kept up his new pace, murmuring something soft and soothing that Leon no longer had enough of a brain to comprehend as his body fried out with the glorious new input.

"F-fuck-Mace!" Leon tugged desperately on the front of Mace's shirt, curling as he began to pant.

Shit, shit I'm close, this is fucking embarrassing! Leon knew he should be able to hang on longer and yet-

Mace felt so good against his skin, each stroke bringing him closer and closer-

Leon shuddered and gasped as the climax hit him all at once, muttering a frantic curse as he tipped over the edge, limbs going limp as he sagged against Mace.

"Well...I almost wish I'd confronted you about this sooner..." Mace chuckled softly, carefully helping Leon shift to one side and grabbing tissues to start cleaning.

"Don't...say that yet." Leon grunted, starting to try and push up onto one elbow. "I haven't gotten to pay you back yet-"

A loud knock at the door made Leon and Mace both freeze, eyes immediately snapping to the door.

"Boys? I got some space time and figured I'd swing by after all!"

SHIT! Phil!

Leon quickly moved to stand only to quickly catch on the edge of the couch and falling with a muffled curse into the coffee table hard, hitting his elbow and filling it with pins and needles as he failed to get up again.

“Boys-?”

“J-just a minute, Phil!” Mace yelled, flailing to get himself upright as he tugged his flannel back in place, zipping up his pants again only to let out a frustrated grunt when his current issue became even more apparent. “Shit-damn it Leon-“

“You weren’t protesting a few minutes ago-!” Leon hissed back, quickly fumbling to tuck himself away and zip up his pants.

“Just-just go get the door for me real quick I’ll be right back!” Mace quickly started to trip back towards where his room was.

Leon opened his mouth to protest before quickly thinking better of it, stumbling quickly to the door and opening the dead bolts before finally hauling the door open. “Phil! What a surprise.”

Phylis cocked an eyebrow, adjusting the small basket in her arms. “Wasn’t it you who suggested we both crash Mace’s pity party today of all days?”

“I mean-in my defense, you did say you couldn’t make it.” Leon stepped aside to let Phil in.

“Well, make it I did.” Phil stepped past Leon, moving to set the basket on the coffee table, eyeing the bottle and two glasses. “I see you’ve already gotten the party started-where is Mace?”

“Ah, he uh-“

“Spilled some drink on myself.” Mace’s voice was a welcome relief as he stepped back out, tugging down a long baggy hoody that was clearly a size or two too big. “Had to change. Nice to see you, Phil.”

Phil paused, slowly looking from Leon to Mace and then back before sharply sighing, rubbing her face. "Boys, do you have something you'd like to say?"

Leon froze, heat starting to curl into his face. Shit. Shit uh, no, no she can't tell-she can't tell! Keep it cool!

Mace quickly looked at Leon, alarm clear in his eyes even as he cleared his throat. "Uh...no? What're you getting at Phil?"

Phil lowered her hand, looking at the two of them with an exasperated look. "You do both remember I'm physic, yes?"

Leon tried to not tense. "Course we do, what does that have to do with-"

"Leon, your attempts to hide this are very sweet, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out whats going on here." Phill gave a pointed look at him before turning it to Mace who's face was starting to take on a faint, blotchy red hue. "If you two were busy, you could've just told me to leave."

"Wait-uh-Phil, this isn't-I-I mean uh-we weren't-" Mace's stammering was cut off when Phil lifted a hand.

"I'm not going to argue. I'm happy for you. Hopefully now I won't be trapped between your pining looks and sexual tension for hours on end." Leon let out a small offended sound in protest but a simple look from Phil shut him up too. "Just please, next time...let me know so I don't have to possibly see anything. Now, I'll take my leave. I will accept apologies in my preferred brands of tea or good bourbon." With that she turned on her heel and briskly walked back towards the door.

Leon blinked, face getting hot as he looked back to Mace as the door slammed. Mace rubbed the back of his neck with a grimace. "Well...should've seen that coming..."

"'Pining looks'?" Leon raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I know I noticed you were good lookin' but I didn't notice any of that."

Mace's face grew redder if that was possible. "Fuckin-damn it Phil..."

Leon laughed, relief slowly making him relax as he made his way over. "Guess she's been watching us both be idiots in more ways then one huh? Well...now that we aren't gonna have any more interruptions...wanna finish what we started?"

Mace looked up from the floor quickly, and slowly a smirk started to curl his lips. "Oh...oh yeah."

Leon grinned himself, and without hesitation grabbed Mace to drag to the bedroom.

Phylis, somewhere driving back away, rolled her eyes.

"Dumbass boys."

Notes:

Originally this was going to be more angsty, then I questioned why I'd do that to myself when comedy is more fun and decided to do that instead! Anyways, the brainrot is real so be prepared for more for this podcast!