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Jaiden was anything but stupid. She had her flaws, sure, but nothing was anything like stupid. She was clumsy, and unlucky (oh how she was unlucky, gods strike her down), and terrible at social interactions, but at least she wasn’t stupid.
She was outside on a balcony, recovering enough stamina to have the socially acceptable amount of words in small talk (how many words? she had no idea) and watching the stars. Or, what she could see of them at least. Clouds and light pollution and her own memories made it hard to unblur the sky, as if it was a photo still airing out.
The balcony was a small one, maybe room for two, no more than three. She had her hands placed on the sleek white railings, and she could feel the smooth cold nature of it up to the tips of her fingers. When she was young her mom signed her up for piano lessons because of how long her fingers were, but none of the notes she strung together ever sounded quite right, so she dropped it. She did have a friend, though, who was amazing at the piano. His fingers were shorter than hers, but he still did well.
Behind Jaiden, a guest bedroom with a twin bed and the darkest sheets she had ever seen, and she was kind of afraid that if she lay in it then she would disappear from existence. There was a screen door too, and another door leading to the bathroom, and one last door that was cracked just enough for her to see the hall, if she were to turn that way.
In front of Jaiden, an unknown neighborhood that she had some note on to explore at some point because Kidd lived there. She was at Kidd’s house now, ignoring a raging party just a floor down from her. The neighborhood was vast and kind of frightening, but not in the ‘poor people just trying to survive but going about it through violence and bad decisions’ kind of way and more of the ‘all the happy families here have got to be fake because there is no way they are that happy with so much money and so little time together’ kind of way. She kind of pitied them, but not enough to do anything about it.
As she looked over the vast stretches of backyards and front lawns, the amount of pink little flamingos sickened her. Just lies, each and every one of them. The trees were nice at least, a few conifers but mostly birches and oaks. It was late spring, so everything was nicely green and lush, popping out against the boldly bland houses (she stopped herself from saying homes because they weren't) and the comforting evening sky. A few kids were laughing and pushing each other a few streets down, kicking a sad-looking can.
She remembered being their age, all smiley like she had a perfect life. Obviously, she didn’t. She was that kid with bad luck and dark hair, and a mother who did care but maybe not enough, and her desks always had scribbles on them of everything in her heart at a certain moment. And she wasn’t stupid, and thought that part very important.
Wind chimes dinged from a nearby house but Jaiden couldn’t see them, only hear. Something else made noise too, and she suddenly turned as the screen doors slid to the side. A man, drink in hand and a look that she couldn’t quite place stood there like a deer in headlights. Or possibly something more witty. He stammered for a few moments, as if when he went to open the door he hadn’t even seen her there.
“Sorry, I’ll- uh- go somewhere else.” As he turned, Jaiden felt obligated to say something completely stupid.
“I don’t mind.” He seemed taken aback for a second, but then a smile flashed on his face and he moved to lean against the railing beside her. A few seconds of silence that Jaiden cherished greatly, the wind picked up just a bit as she enjoyed nothing at all. “So…” She tried to start, but she didn’t really know where to go from there.
“Start with your name?” The man offered gently.
“Jaiden.” She was quick to answer, fidgety and possibly a bit scared but she couldn’t really tell. It was just like when she was 15 and on the TV a flood warning buzzed in bright red, and her mother was still driving home and she knew it would be okay but that little beep kept going and it was just too much. “You?”
He laughed for just a second, something hearty but so soft that it almost hurt. She had no idea why he was laughing but she found herself without the drive to figure it out. Just hearing his laugh was enough. “Jacob.”
She turned to look at him for no particular reason, and was almost blown away by how happy he looked. He seemed so content, like that balcony was the only thing in the world, and when he turned to meet her eyes she saw the secrets of the universe. There was something about his eyes, something weird and unnerving but also inviting. He was looking at her, but also past her. Like he could see the future.
Jaiden took a moment to actually look at him too. His clothes were informal but brand new nonetheless, no tears or stains and not even a loose thread. He was some amount taller than her, but not enough to be truly tall. Maybe some people would disagree with her on that though. He had a thin brown beard covering his chin, and short white hair that he covered up with loose strands. She knew a girl once, years ago, that bleached her hair maybe twice a day. The only other thing that she remembered about the girl was the Jersey Girl posted she hung menacingly over her bed.
“I haven’t seen you around.” She started again, moving her hands to play with her fingers. Oh, her fingers. “I like, generally know everybody at parties like this. Do you- uh- do you know Cade?” Jaiden really hoped it didn’t come out as rude, and by Jacob’s face, she hadn’t killed herself just yet.
“Nah, I came with Smith.” Jaiden’s lips parted softly into an O, and she internally smacked herself when nothing came of it. “We work together, but we’re also just friends, you know? And I’m new to town so he said I could come to this? Honestly, though, I’m not sure how much I like it. The beer is nice though, good brand.”
She was kind of taken aback by how much he just spoke, but he seemed so confident that it shouldn’t have been that surprising. It was the tone, the way he was almost stuttering but saving it. Like he couldn’t stop. It was also nice, in some ways, because Jaiden always felt better around people who talked as much as she did when they were in the moment. And it was a moment, of a few stars and some of a crowd under them and the faint smell of alcohol wafting around. She noticed that Jacob’s cup was near full.
“I don’t drink, but I’ll take your word for it.”
“Any reason? No offense, just curious.” He grinned and it was so genuine that she couldn’t help but smile back. Something about him seemed so natural, more natural than human. Nobody was natural like that anymore, and it wasn’t anything against any one person, it just seemed to be a general rule, that they all listened to (without hearing it, mind you).
“I just don’t like it, I never have. Oh, there was this one time where like all my friends were drinking and I tried it and I literally threw up. Do you like Pokemon?”
“What’s that?” Jaiden’s jaw literally dropped. So suddenly, she had so much more to say. One, who doesn’t know Pokemon? Two, who doesn’t know Pokemon!? And the look Jacob was giving her, of pure and raw curiosity, was so inviting that she felt the need to hold herself down.
“Oh my god, you don’t know what Pokemon is!?” He looked taken aback, almost fearful if she had to put her finger on it. He even stepped back, as if Jaiden was going to hurt him. She found it a bit weird, but the absolute need to talk and talk and talk ground at her head too powerful to be sane.
“What?”
“I- okay, okay, this is a big deal. Uh-” She fiddled with her pockets until she found her phone, a nice android that had done her well for a few years. She got it for herself when she first moved out of her mom’s house, and it had held up all through her few college years. “I will literally explode if you get me talking right now, so-” Jaiden held out her phone, her number forming some sort of bridge between the two of them.
“Those… Are some numbers.” He said, smiling but making no attempt to grab his own phone. Another odd thing about him, but she truly didn’t mind. And then it hit her, that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. This man, this odd man that had just shown up out of the blue, knew exactly how to seem like the smartest person in the world and yet knew nothing. And he hadn’t pretended to know it either, his personality was effortless. It made absolutely no sense, Jaiden had no idea where to even start with figuring out just who this was, and yet she kind of needed to know.
“Ok, let's do this instead. Uh- my address? I know this’ll sound weird but I have a spare room and- or- or maybe not, you don’t have to actually, that was stupid.” She turned away, ready to go sulk in some other dark corner, maybe a closet or under those black sheets (they would actually eat her alive but it was better than this), when he grabbed her by the wrist.
“I’ve been staying with Smith, just on his couch.” A lot came back to Jaiden at that moment. Touch was special to her, each hand grabbing hers was searing a mark into her very being. She was so shiftable, like when she was six and watched a glassblower for the first time, and everyone around her was fawning over how pretty it was and she felt like she was going to throw up because if she was that piece of glass and she was being shaped like that then she definitely wouldn’t be happy. And there he was, that strange man with the kindest face and the most secretive eyes, looking at her like a plea for life, for real, no-plastic-or-messing-around life.
A loud noise broke the silence painfully.
“Jaiden, where the actual hell have you been!? We’re doing hide and seek, you’re playing.”
“I’m what? Dash, you can’t just sign me up for things!” Jaiden turned back to Jacob, only to find him looking unsurprisingly distant. He didn’t seem to do well with multiple people around. “I’ll, uh, text Smith and we can talk through him, okay?” He just nodded, as if talking would be painful.
As she moved back into the guest room, one last gust of wind hit her right in the face. Her lashes fluttered just a bit, and the smell of home-brewed depravity hit her as well. She passed the bed and the furniture and then she was out in the hallway, looking at but not really seeing the hanged photos that lined the walls. They were like guiding signs, warnings if you squinted, and everything about them was love and soft little suspicious kisses. She started to feel sick again.
“So, who was the guy?” Jaiden sighed dramatically, moving a hand up to hide her face.
“It seriously is not like that, don’t you dare.” Dash chucked and thankfully dropped it. “He’s new to town, might be coming to live with me. His name was- uhh- Jacob? Yeah.”
“Oh, I heard he played a few rounds of among us on Smith’s stream and absolutely dominated. He’s got a sharp tongue, be careful.” She believed the warning, but also didn’t. Something about Jacob was sweeter than other people, innocent maybe. Or guilty, it didn’t matter in Jaiden’s mind. He could kill her but she wouldn’t resist quite as much as with other people. It was just something about him. Terrifying, comforting. Yeah, definitely had to write a note for herself about how she felt today, because normal her would not be thinking as stupid as she was now. Maybe a contact high?
Jaiden got to the stairs and almost fell down them.