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As loathe as Zoro was to admit it at times, he did love all of the ragtag crew members Luffy had found and brought together. Sure they annoyed the hell out of him and there were times he seriously wondered how they could be so stupid, but all in all, he knew that they would always come through when it was asked of them. No matter what shit Luffy got them into they all walked into it without wavering and if they got knocked down they just got back up again and brushed the dust off. They looked out for each other, worked well together. They were good.
And then it all fell apart.
The cracks had been showing for awhile, the casual disobedience and disrespect from Usopp and the way Robin refused to fully integrate. Neither of those things had seemed bad at the time but now, with pieces raining around them, it was obvious. They were always bound to fall along those lines. And yet, none of them had seen it coming.
They were silent as they hauled their belongings off of the home they'd made together, the ship almost looking like it was crying with them. Months of sailing together and it came down to hurriedly packed bags and quiet sobbing as the five left walked away.
It was the quietest Zoro had ever heard the crew, the only sounds the sniffling and occasional hiccup from the others. Even Luffy, as vibrant and full of life as he was, looked dull, trailing along behind the group and looking the furthest from himself he ever had. Silent tears tracked down his cheeks, his hat pulled low so that only shadows could be seen on his face. He didn't even react when Zoro slowed to walk at his side and caught one of his hands, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Luffy didn't even look at him.
Nami wiped the moisture from her eyes before she straightened up and marched into a hotel lobby, securing three rooms for them. If Zoro didn't know her better he'd think she was fine—but he did know better. He could see the cracks in her demeanor that said she was barely holding it together.
She returned to them with the keys, thrusting one into Sanji's hand and another into Zoro's. “You boys will have to share,” she said quietly, voice choking back up. “And I have a double for when we find Robin.”
No one reminded her that their other crew member had been missing for the entire day. Or that the one glimpse of her anyone had seen had been her disappearing with a masked man. There was no point in breaking anyone's heart any more tonight.
“Come on, captain.” Zoro tugged on the hand he had wrapped around Luffy's, the other just allowing himself to be pulled along. He glanced back at the other three. “I'll help you with the tangerine trees after I get him settled.”
Their room was on the second floor at the end of the hall and for once in his life Zoro found it without problem. He made a quick inspection of the room as Luffy stood quietly in the doorway, eyes fixed on the ground. It wasn't as secure as Merry had been but, for now, it would do.
Zoro dropped the bags he'd been carrying onto the dresser across from the beds before returning to Luffy's side, encouraging him to walk farther into the room with a hand on his back as he closed the door behind him. “You get settled while I go help Nami with her trees, okay? I'll—”
The air from Zoro's lungs was forced out when rubbery arms suddenly wrapped around his neck and a body slammed into his own. Limbs twined tightly around him, wrapping him up like a boa constrictor would its prey.
“Zoro can't leave,” Luffy begged, voice the rawest Zoro had ever heard. He could feel part of his heart breaking at the tone, huge dark eyes peering up at him through clumped lashes and gathering tears. “Need Zoro.”
“I'm not leaving,” Zoro promised him, using the tiny bit of motion his wrist had to stroke a hand along rubbery skin. “Nami is down in the lobby and needs help getting her trees moved. I'll be right back.”
Luffy sniffled. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
The limbs around Zoro slowly unwrapped until he was free again, though Luffy remained pressed against him for a moment longer. Anger was rolling through him at the broken look of his crew, at the broken look of Luffy. No one should ever make them look like that. They should be cut down and obliterated first. And yet here they were, cracked brave faces put on over tears. It was a good thing that Usopp had been part of their crew because if he hadn't been and had still caused this pain, Zoro wouldn't have hesitated to cut him down. He was still tempted to. He had promised to never raise one of his blades against a crew mate—Sanji excluded since he could take it—but right now he was tempted to. Though he supposed his promise wouldn't matter. Usopp wasn't part of their crew anymore anyway.
Zoro gently pushed Luffy back to arms length when he still hadn't moved. “Why don't you go sit on the bed for a bit? Maybe when I get back we can take a bath?”
There was no nod or word of agreement but Luffy obediently sat on the bed, head hanging and straw hat slipping forward to cover his face once again. Zoro needed to leave right now before he went and did something he'd regret.
Leaving the room, Zoro returned to the first floor and found only Sanji sat in the hotel lobby, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips as the staff glared at him. One blue eye glanced up at Zoro but for once it was without comment. He just stubbed the cigarette out and tossed the butt out an open window.
“Hotel said we can put them on the roof,” Sanji said, using a thumb to point at the trees behind him.
“Where's the other two?” Zoro asked a bit gruffly as he began to haul the trees towards an elevator. If he had to carry these up the four or so flights of stairs to the roof he would be pretty pissed off. Well, he normally would be. Today he would have done it without complaint regardless.
“Nami went to her room with Chopper.” Sanji grunted a bit as he helped drag the third one in. “I told them to go ahead and that I'd watch the trees.”
They stayed silent as they rode the elevator to the third floor and through the time it took for them to drag them up the final flight of stairs that brought them to the roof. They situated them carefully along the little maintenance shed, Sanji sitting on the ground next to them.
“You gonna stay up here?”
“For now. Let Nami and Chopper know, will you?”
Nami had the room right next to his and Luffy and when he knocked Chopper opened it in heavy point, holding a finger to his mouth. Zoro relayed Sanji's message to him, looking past him to spot Nami sat on the bed and holding the room's transponder snail. She was talking quietly into it, too quiet for Zoro to hear, but it wasn't hard to guess who she was speaking to.
Leaving the two of them, Zoro retreated back to the room he shared with Luffy, finding that he hadn't moved the entire time he was gone. He was still sat hunched over on the bed, staring down at the floor while his hat hid his expression. Seeing him like that just made Zoro mad all over again.
“Hey, captain,” he began as he entered the room, locking the door behind him. When Luffy made no acknowledgment of him he tried again, crouching down in front of him. “Hey, Luf. You wanna take a bath? The water would feel nice.”
A tiny shrug was his answer but it was good enough for Zoro. He straightened back up before curling an arm behind Luffy's back and his second one beneath his legs. Luffy didn't even react as Zoro picked him up and carried him to the bathroom, just staring emptily at the room around him.
Zoro set him down on the toilet as he turned the water faucet in the tub on, cranking it to hot. He dug around in the cabinet under the sink until he found the samples the hotel offered and snagged the one that had bubbles on it. Turning back to the tub, he dumped the entirety of the little bottle in, watching as bubbles immediately began to fill the tub along with the water. He moved the faucet a little more towards cold to make the water more tolerable and then turned back towards Luffy.
“You gonna take a bath in your clothes?” he teased, trying to sound like this was just another day. It wasn't—god knew it wasn't—but that didn't mean he couldn't try. They all needed any little bit of normalcy they could get.
Undoing his swords, Zoro propped them carefully against the sink before he pulled his own clothes off, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Since Luffy still hadn't moved Zoro stepped forward and began to help him out of his own, careful to avoid touching the small cuts on his skin from Usopp's attacks.
With their clothes on the floor he helped Luffy stand up and step into the tub before he slid in behind him, his arms wrapping tightly around his waist and pulling him back against his chest. The water was almost too hot but Zoro ignored it, letting it soothe away the aches in their muscles. He knew it couldn't do anything for the pain in their chests, only time would, but it was still better than nothing.
Luffy moved forward a bit and Zoro loosened his grip. He was about to ask what was wrong when Luffy turned completely around, his face settling into the crook of Zoro's neck and their chests pressing against each other. The tiniest of sighs left him but otherwise he remained quiet, just nestling his face in closer and his arms holding him by the waist tighter.
For a long time it was silent in the room, the only sound being the gentle sloshing of water and their soft breaths. Luffy finally spoke, his voice breaking into the quietness. “Am I a bad captain?”
Zoro had been stroking his back when he spoke and his motion stalled. “Of course not.” He forced his hand to move again, sliding it along the tense muscles of Luffy's body. “You’re a very good captain.”
“But our crew is falling apart.” For as quiet as the room was his voice was still almost lost among it, barely audible even when they were still. “Robin is missing and....and we don't have a ship and....U-Usopp is....”
“None of that is your fault,” Zoro said. He pulled his arms away from Luffy's back and used them to cup his jaw instead, gently tugging his face up until they could look at each other. “None of us knew about Merry, Luf. We all thought we could just keep patching her back up every time and keep going. None of us knew how deep the damage went.”
Dark eyes stared almost numbly at Zoro's own. “Our crew....”
“I don't know what's going on with Robin,” Zoro continued, thumbs stroking against damp skin, “but that isn't on you either. There's something going on with her that I'm guessing she is trying to deal with on her own. She'll come to us when she's ready.”
“And Usopp?”
Zoro swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Usopp made his own choices. Whatever he did or said, you acted like a captain should.” Privately he thought he should have been a lot more firm with Usopp from a lot earlier on but now wasn't the time to say that. Everyone's wounds were still bleeding raw and those words would just be pulling them open wider. Maybe when emotions had settled and they'd had more time he would say them, to show Luffy that this confrontation had been a long time coming. No matter what happened in the end, that confrontation was long overdue.
Luffy just blinked slowly. “I don't....I want it to go back to how it was before.”
“I know, Luf.”
“I don't like this.”
“I know.”
One of his hands came up to rub furiously at his red-rimmed eyes. “Will Zoro ever leave me?”
“Of course not!” Zoro was quick to answer, barely letting the words hit the air before speaking. His fingers tightened against Luffy's face, pulling him just a little closer to him. “I'll never leave you. No matter what happens.”
“Never?”
“Never. I promised you that I'd be your swordsman forever, didn't I?”
“Forever is a long time.”
It was but Zoro knew it still wouldn't be enough for him.
Tugging Luffy up higher, Zoro bent down, carefully pressing their lips together. He had never been good with words, not even when Luffy was involved, but he was good with actions. So he pressed his unwavering loyalty into Luffy's lips with his own and licked undying devotion across his mouth when it parted for him. His hands trailed his love through Luffy's hair as he brushed it from his face and reaffirmed his promise of forever when they curled into his palms to intertwine their fingers together.
Forever may be a long time but Zoro would gladly take it. Any moment he had with his captain was enough. He knew his touch and love wasn't enough to make up for everything that had happened, but Luffy still relaxed just a bit against him. Letting his promise give him just a little bit of relief. Tomorrow would probably be another shit show of a day but for tonight Zoro was going to do everything he could to make Luffy remember just how adored he was. And when tomorrow came, he would still be by his side, no matter what the day would bring.