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“Get her!!”
The fuck do you think I’m trying to do??
Zoro swore under his breath, lunging at the Straw Hats’ unwanted visitor only to find her already leaping to the railing opposite. He spun on his feet to catch her and crunched directly into Usopp’s oncoming nose. Poor bastard dropped like a sack of rice. Zoro swore, again. This fuckin’ ship is too small for this sort of- acrobatics, even with Nami’s oh-so-helpful ‘advice’.
“Truth Bomb!!”
Nami herself screamed and narrowly avoided another projectile - lucky for her, but not so lucky for Luffy, who had been standing behind her, winding up to knockout the intruder. He hacked and swatted at the luridly coloured cloud of smoke that erupted around him.
“Troohoohoohoo!”
Zoro winced. He’d become all too familiar with that nasal peal of laughter. This fuckin’ woman - anywhere from twenty to forty, hard for him to say - who’d been bouncing around their ship since they left the dock had proven surprisingly slippery. Buttercup hair piled messily on her head, her ill-fitting jacket was held together by patches, she had a nose long as Usopp’s and whenever she threw that head back to laugh Zoro could swear that her tongue was yellow.
“Straw Hat Luffy!” The woman yelled, dodging their captain’s elastic punch. “Have you, or have you not, discovered the whereabouts of Captain Bluebeard’s Holy Treasure?”
“Yeah!” Luffy hollered back before Nami could clasp her hands over his mouth.
The Devil Fruit User’s shriek of laughter made Zoro’s teeth hurt. She thrust her makeshift playback-model den den in Luffy’s direction, its eye stalks lolling to observe him.
“And where is it!?”
“I dunno!” Luffy continued to bellow, fighting off Nami’s hands. “I wasn’t listening when they told me!”
Zoro bit back a laugh of his own. Nami lurched, frozen halfway between hugging Luffy and throttling him. Trust Luffy to have his ass saved by his own inattention. The fruit-user and her den den both seemed to deflate.
“What kind of captain are you??” She changed tactics, vaulting over Zoro’s incoming swipe and looping up from the rigging to make another familiar gesture with her pinkie fingers. “Truth Bomb!”
This time the projectile flew towards Nami - but got kicked out of the air at the last moment, exploding off the side of the Sunny’s hull. The fruit-user scowled at Black Leg Sanji skidding a trail of embers across the deck, who scowled back, though Zoro grit his teeth as he observed that telltale pinch in the cook’s brow and bob of his throat. Useless fuckin’ git could stare her down all he wanted, but he was never gonna be able to actually take the woman out. Best he could do was deflect her Truth Bombs whilst trying not to be hit himself - since he had certainly been hanging on Nami’s every word back when she’d explained the heist.
Half the fuckin’ Grand Line is after this treasure, but sure, we’ll be the ones lucky enough to get it. What’s another target on our back, after all? Zoro rolled his eye as he tried to jump into a position that would afford him a cleaner shot up at the assailant, but Luffy, now freed from the fruit’s effects, was keeping the woman on her toes with a volley of gattling punches.
“Truth Bomb!” The woman switched tactics too, somersaulting at the last moment to flip her trajectory downwards - at Usopp, the poor sod, who had only just righted himself on the lawn from their earlier collision.
“Usopp!” Yelled Sanji and Nami in unison. Zoro swore again, but their sniper emerged from the smoke cloud hacking but only slightly worse for wear.
“Usopp, you oka-”
“Where is Bluebeard’s Treasure?” The bomber interrupted and Zoro grit his teeth as he watched Usopp convulse with a full-body shiver.
“IiiiiIIIIIiiIIIiiIIiittt’s under a tree-!” He gasped, managing to hold out against the fruit’s power long enough to come up with an answer that, while technically true, didn’t give away too much of their information-
“Which tree!?”
“HHOOOOOoooouuuugghghhhhh- annnnnnnn elm.”
“You can do it Usopp!” Zoro cheered, slashing at rigging in an attempt to bring her down. The woman continued her interrogation hopping from rope to rope.
“Which elm!?”
“No, slippery!”
“Where is this elm tr-”
“ELLMMMMMM treeessssss exist in higher altitudes on sub-tropical islands!” Usopp had picked himself up and was now tearing across the deck of the sunny, his hands over his ears as the woman gave chase, yelling more unheard questions- “Most elms are deciduous! Meaning they lose their leaves over winter! But some- AUUUGHHH-” He had rammed his knee into the railing as he hurled himself down the stairs- “Some maintain their greenery year-round! Their seeds come in these little leaf pods that fall to the ground when-”
“For cryin’ out loud!” The fruit-user staggered to a halt on the railing opposite from everyone, gasping for breath. “Why can this kid gab so much about trees!?”
“I didn’t have any peers my own age when I was growing up! Can somebody please stop her already?? I’m feeling very self-conscious and I don’t want any of you guys to think I’m uncool!” Usopp slapped his own hands over his face as he stopped himself one truth too late.
“Usopp!” Luffy called across his shoulder, hands shooting across the ship in an effort to catch the woman - “We love you, man! None of us thought you were cool!”
“Thank you,” Usopp said, flatly, still muffled by his hands.
“No job is worth this,” the woman muttered under her breath before dashing off across the railings and leaping over Franky’s Strong Right. “Truth hurts, kids! Argue among yourselves while I make a hasty retreat.” She snapped her fingers at Usopp. “How cute is the redhead!”
“Not as cute as she thinks she is!”
Zoro could’ve heard a pin drop.
“Excuse me?” Nami might have scoffed as she spoke but her tone was icy.
Usopp whined with his hat jammed down over his eyes. “Nami- please- is now the time?”
“So last week when I asked about that sweater and you said I looked like Aphrodite reborn-”
“Are you surprised that I’m a big fat liar?? Oh, God- Guys, real quick, if you’re not gonna get her, then can you at least get me-!?”
If the Devil Fruit User’s intent had been to cause a distraction then she had been wildly successful as she was very nearly close enough to make the jump to her waiting rowboat. Zoro managed to intercept, skidding across the grass and slashing at her. The truth really did travel fast, because that still wasn’t quick enough to let him seize her - but he did manage to block her escape route, turning her trajectory around again.
She flung her pinkies out desperately to the first Straw Hat she could see. “Truth Bomb!” The projectile hit Franky square in the chest, distracted by winching back his fist, which wasn’t that difficult to achieve given he was roughly barn-sized. “How’s the food here?” She yelled back at him, racing past with her hands cupped around her mouth.
“Needs more heat!” Franky yelled helpfully in return. Zoro full-body winced in anticipation. He risked a look over at their cook to find him thoroughly distracted.
“You try fuckin’ cookin’ for nine of the biggest weenies this side of North Blue-”
“Am I the only one trying to stop this woman?” Zoro snarled around his sword as he raced past Robin laughing behind her fingers, that sadist-
“I gotta balance the menu for everyone, sorry if I don’t always get the spice exactly fuckin’ right- If I throw in anything more exciting than a peppercorn I’m gonna deal with sniffling from Chopper and Zoro-”
“You wanna pick a fight? Now-?” Zoro flinched in anticipation. He’d been baited right into this one, just that second too late to stop himself from rising, as always, to one of the cook’s pointless taunts-
“Truth Bomb!”
The impact didn’t exactly hurt. It wasn’t like the ‘bombs’ were primarily used to cause damage, after all. But it sure did fuckin’ wind a guy. Zoro gasped for breath, willing his diaphragm to stop spasming, eyes watering through smog as he tried to spot where the woman had run to-
That voice came from behind him. “Who’s the strongest on the crew?”
“Luffy!” He responded without hesitation, swiping out across the railings just as she took a flying leap over him to scrabble up the mast. There were murmurings of agreement amongst the other Straw Hats. Zoro smirked. He was a waste of a bomb. He’d happily offend anyone else standing.
“Who’s the cutest!?” The woman continued to babble, swinging from one of the ropes until she was thrown off-course by one of Usopp’s projectiles and forced to roll across the deck.
“Chopper!”
“Nice one!” Nami shot him a rounded gesture with her fingers to indicate that she approved of his diplomatic response to what had likely been an intent to stir drama between the Straw Hat women. Zoro was closer to the fruit-user now that she’d been brought lower, but Sanji was the closest, and he raced to loom himself in front of her with a leg raised and crackling with the threat of fire. But whether Black Leg’s useless chivalry was as famous as his eyebrow, or if he was just as transparent to her as he was to Zoro, the woman called his bluff, and barreled unharmed past him. Zoro had no such qualms, though. He was closing the distance, and he would reach her before she could make it over the railing to her row boat-
The fruit-user skidded to a stop and, to both men’s surprise, grabbed Sanji by the arm and whirled him around as some kind of meat-shield between herself and Zoro.
“Whaddaya think about this guy?”
Aw, fuck.
Zoro’s heart thudded so high in his throat it pushed against Wado’s hilt. He watched the woman move as if in slow motion, throwing Sanji out the way, taking advantage of the seconds she’d bought herself to clamber over the railings. Maybe she’d picked up on their spark of animosity from earlier. Maybe she chose Sanji because he was the closest crew member to grab. Maybe Zoro was simply that easy to read. But he no longer had the luxury to care about capturing her. Escape, for all he cared - his singular mission now was to find a way to hold back the truth that might tear apart the Straw Hats’ cosy little dynamic before they’d even made it to Elbaf.
It doesn’t matter what you say, it just has to be true-! There are a million viable options, pick any one of them- anything at all- except for ‘I’m in love with him’.
The truth was pressing against his teeth like bile. His body was shaking. The woman was long fuckin’ gone. Sanji’s eyes were on him, and there was the beginning of a pucker between his brow in confusion at what was taking him so long to answer-
Anything!
His voice spewed out explosively, half through his nose, his chest retching at the effort -
“He’s my best friend!”
Ohhh, no.
It was almost as bad as if he’d told the whole truth anyway.
Alright. That was hyperbole. Even Zoro, Sanji’s bestest friend in the whole wide world as witnessed by every single member of the Straw Hats and then some, could admit it was still better that he’d managed to keep a lid on the bigger secret. But that didn’t make the fallout any less humiliating. As soon as the words had slipped from his stupid treacherous lips he’d known how insufferable Sanji was about to become, but he’d been wrong - somehow, he was even worse.
“I think he’s a shitty dancer,” Zoro mumbled to himself, dish towel squeaking on a half-dry plate. “I think he can’t hold his alcohol. I think his head looks like a ginkgo nut. I think his fashion sense is really gay.” Adding to the tally, that brought him up to a total of ninety-seven truths of how Zoro felt about Sanji that he could’ve pulled from instead of resorting to-
“Heyyy, bestie.”
Zoro’s whole face scrunched.
Sanji traipsed slow and easy through the galley to slap Zoro on the shoulder. His face scrunched even further. He couldn’t remember a single thing Sanji had said to him in the past week that hadn’t been punctuated with some sort of reminder. Could you do your best friend a favour and take these scraps to the garden? Would a guy really let his bestie wax this whole deck by his lonesome? What does a guy have to do around here before his best friend will help clear the table?
“What do you want.” Zoro's tone was flat and rude and completely impotent.
“Aww, hey, man, come on, now.” Sanji slung that arm around his shoulder and gave him a good jostle. It made him feel equal parts pissed off and flustered and he wanted to kick himself about it. Sanji continued in mock concern, “Is it something I said? I wouldn’t want to jeopardise our best friendship.”
Zoro shook him off and Sanji ambled off towards the larder trailing laughter behind him. “I only came in to grab snacks for the ladies. When you’re done with that, I’m gonna need a certain special bestie to cut the skin off about… hmm… eight pumpkins.”
Zoro tossed the plate back in the sink. “Are you kid-”
Sanji bobbed his head back enough for them to catch eyes through the pantry door and Zoro bit back his complaint. God dammit. There was no winning here. To argue would just be inviting more humiliation, but to simply agree made him some obedient errands boy. Either way, Sanji got exactly what he wanted. In the end he gave a dismissive grunt and turned back to the sink pretending he didn’t notice the grin Sanji’s face had split into.
With two women waiting on him, Sanji disappeared just as quickly as he’d arrived, leaving Zoro alone. Soap suds crackled around his hands submerged in the tepid water and the galley’s silence.
“Least you could do is say it back,” he said in an attempt to sound dismissive to an empty room and earning only a twinge just behind his heart. He had expected Sanji to either mock him mercilessly or to act really awkward and emotionally stunted, but they’d ended up in this weird stalemate somewhere between the two. On the surface, Sanji was acting like he thought the whole thing was hilarious, but Zoro wasn’t accustomed to washing dishes by himself. In front of the others, Sanji was playing it up. In private, Sanji was anywhere Zoro wasn’t. Zoro moved the last dried bowl to the stack and shuffled to start putting them away.
He’d always kinda thought he and Sanji were on the same page. That there was something between them that went unspoken - well, if it hadn’t been for errant Devil Fruits - but no less understood; I know you don’t really hate me, cook. You and me, we’re the only two who really get it the way we get it. And that makes us something.
Which was better than nothing, and had been the best Zoro had assumed he was going to get. It helped take the sting out of falling for the straightest man from all of North Blue. But if the situation had been reversed, then after Zoro had taken his fill of Sanji’s humiliation, he would’ve waited for a day when the two of them were out of earshot, given him a manly punch to the shoulder, and said something cool like - ‘That makes two of us, y’know.’ Or- something better than that. He would’ve had time to workshop it. Point was he wouldn’t have let a man go unanswered for so long and so now Zoro kind of had to assume that Sanji didn’t feel that way about him at all which, on top of being humiliating, meant that he’d been wrong. About Sanji and him. The whole time.
Zoro dragged a hand down his face, ear tips burning red, and slumped over towards the pantry to assess the pumpkin situation.
Does that fucker mean the butternuts or the kabocha? He contemplated both sleepily, one in each hand. Personally, he preferred kabocha, and had half a mind to just blame the cook’s shitty instructions if he guessed wrong - but if Nami’s calculations were correct, and they always were, then it meant it would take more than a week for them to reach the next island, and the cook always got extra pissy about rationing when they were this far from land. Zoro’s head slumped between his shoulders and he allowed himself one whine of self-pity before he hauled himself upright to go dartboard hunting.
Zoro was turned away from Usopp’s workshop, Franky in the hull, Chopper in the infirmary, Usopp’s workshop again, and Luffy in the crow’s nest before Jinbe and Robin on the upper decks finally pointed him towards the aquarium bar where they thought they’d seen Sanji headed with a tray.
And they say I get lost, Zoro grumbled inwardly. Sick of juggling these fucking pumpkins all over the ship ‘cause you don’t know how to delegate.
He bobbed around to glance through one of the bar’s windows to confirm that stupid ginkgo nut was, in fact, inside, and had nearly reached the door handle with a ‘hey, shithead’ primed in his throat before he bobbed back for a second look.
Something was off. Sanji was with Nami, but he wasn’t doing his usual somersaults around the walls. They were sitting together on one of the couches lining the room, and from Zoro’s position, though he couldn’t get a clear look at their faces, the cook’s hunched body language said everything. Nami was ever so slightly leaning on him, their shoulders together, and when she gently lowered her head to rest against Sanji’s, somehow - instead of erupting into a tsunami of blood - Sanji simply laid a hand atop hers.
Zoro’s grip dropped from the door handle. Nami wouldn’t get so close to Sanji if there wasn’t a problem. Sanji wouldn’t be so withdrawn about that closeness if it wasn’t serious. And whatever that problem was… Zoro wasn’t good enough to be told.
I’ll just do the fucking butternuts, he decided, pivoting back to the kitchen with that same heat behind his ears.
The week-and-a-half at sea had been worth it. This little island on the way to Elbaf was a beauty; generous locals, cheap booze, and a corrupt militia just waiting to get taken down by Luffy - what wasn’t there to love? Celebrations were in full swing, and the fact the little island served as a trade point between several common Eternal Pose routes meant the exotic foods and liquors would be pouring in for days.
Usopp, Luffy, and Franky had a crowd of about a hundred or so revelers cheering on some weird little dance they’d hashed out. Nami and the leader of the rebel army, a lithe yet imposing woman commander, lounged by one of the campfires with drinks held loosely in hands, their eyes darting across each other unsubtly enough to tell Zoro they’d probably be in town for at least one more night. Sanji was- Sanij was somewhere. Off bothering the guys running the barbecue pit, probaby, or trying to chat up some of the rebel soldier girls, or-
“Heyyy, bes-tie!”
He never thought he’d come to miss marimo. Zoro’s face screwed up for just a second before that arm crashed around his shoulders again, the cook’s weight clammy and dead heavy, searing hot against the cold air.
“See you found the moonshine,” Zoro drawled, not even dignifying Sanji with a glance. Sanji laughed from roughly level with Zoro’s armpit then righted himself with great, great effort.
“I could use this to strip my pans,” he slurred, peering into his mostly-empty tankard. “Give ‘em all a… proper re-seanoning. Seezeses. Seasoning.” He toasted his linguistic victory with a gulp of his drink. Zoro allowed himself a chuckle and a sip from his own.
“How many have you had?”
“Enough. Listen, man-” he prodded Zoro with the rim of his mug- “I need you to be my wingman. I’m so close. I’m so in.”
“With who?” Zoro glanced over Sanji’s sorry visage, baffled. The man’s eyes were rubbed red and his shirt had somehow been re-buttoned one buttonhole off. Sanji shot him the knowing look of a man without a single clue.
“These rebel girls, man. They’re so into me. Do you remember the one with- with the hair.” He took another sip, eyes hunting through the thronging crowd around them. “I’m so in, man, I just need you to-”
“Yeah, she’s gay.”
“No,” Sanji gasped, clutching his drink to his chest, mouth hanging and features slack in drunken shock. “Nooo,” he whined, looking back around as if he’d be able to spot her. “Okay. That’s fine. There was this other one, with the boots-”
“She’s gay too.”
“How do you knowww?” Sanji looked like he was about to throw his tankard on the ground and stomp his feet in a tantrum. Zoro hoisted him back up from where he’d been about to slip off his shoulder.
“Let me save you some time, cook- Every single one of those rebel girls?” He patted Sanji’s chest comfortingly as the other man stared back, wetly. “Huge lesbian.” Sanji opened his mouth to interject but Zoro continued- “Because every single one of them? Joined up with the rebels ‘cause they had it bad for the leader, who-” he held up one finger around his mug to silence Sanji- “You guessed it - is also a big huge half-giantess lesbian.”
Sanji swayed for a moment, contemplating that, his chin hollowed in a pathetic pout.
“I was gonna try her next,” he whimpered. Zoro just tipped his head back and laughed.
“Oh, you are drunk drunk.”
“Don’t laugh, you bastard, help me.” Sanji attempted to punctuate his whinge with a kick to Zoro’s shin but missed and had to leave his weight entirely to the other man lest he collapse. Unperturbed, he continued - “Who here isn’t gay? Use your powers for good.”
“Why would I help you?”
The words came out a split second before Zoro realised what he’d set himself up for and winced in anticipation. Sure enough, he’d sent Sanji giggling, the grip around his shoulder tightening.
“Aww, c’mon, is that any way to treat your besssttt frieennndddd?”
Mouth taut, Zoro let Sanji titter to himself and stepped their way through the crowd of people, trying to catch sight of someone he recognised who might be able to point him to Chopper, or some other doctor, or at least to a quiet area where he could shake Sanji upside-down by the ankles to empty his stomach.
“When are you gonna let that go, man?” He muttered, more to himself than anything. He hadn’t really expected Sanji would hear him, and even less so that Sanji would respond if he had, so he couldn’t help but jump when a reply came hushed close to his ear.
“Never.” Sanji’s voice was thick and there was something behind it, something loosened by but separate from the alcohol. “’S all I’ve got.”
Zoro blinked. He blinked again. He kept staring and blinking as he marched them forward, Sanji’s feet stumbling across wet trampled grass, Zoro’s unspoken response louder than any of the party going on around them. He had almost processed to the point that he was about to open his mouth to ask - Huh? - only for Sanji to skid to a stop, Zoro’s momentum slipping Sanji’s arm from around his shoulders in a fluid movement.
“I gotta go,” Sanji said to his own shoes, hands raised, tankard holding on only by a thumb through its handle. “I gotta- I gotta go. I think I forgot something important.”
“Hey, wait-” Zoro reached for him- he was way too drunk to be left alone, and he needed his help, and he had to finish whatever the fuck he’d just started- but for a flash Sanji caught his eye from under his fringe, dark, sober, and then he was gone, swallowed up by the crowd so completely Zoro knew it had to be intentional.
Zoro let the crowd pull and push him until he realised that smooth cobblestone had replaced grass under his feet and the starry sky shared its space with tall, stucco-clad buildings. It was a winter island, and the snow had picked up again, light and annoying, but the people didn’t mind. The party had reached here, too. The entire city was celebrating. Between every alley some new gaggle of citizens shared drinks, shared stories - exaggerating Luffy’s exploits to the point of legend and yet still somehow falling short of the truth.
Zoro sucked his cheek between the nip of his teeth. The truth was overrated anyway. The truth was what had gotten him into this stomach-churning, nerve-chilling mess, and the truth was what danced just out of his reach. He had been okay not knowing how Sanji felt about him when he’d thought there was nothing much to know. Knowing there was something and not knowing which side of bad it fell on was spinning his head worse than this island’s most potent spirits.
It should’ve been you, not me, you slimy bastard, Zoro thought, bitter, stalking through the revelry. You’re the one who holds onto all his secrets when it only hurts you in the end. You’re the one who never says what he means, even when it fucks things up for the rest of us, you- Zoro ran a hand over his mouth, grunting, frustrated- How can you stand to watch a guy fold and still not put your cards on the fucking table? If any one of us deserved to get blasted, it was-
“Troohoohoo!”
Snow crunched under Zoro’s boot as he stopped.
Maybe the truth really did have a way of making itself known.
“... And if you want me to record it, that’s an extra fifty percent for audio, a hundred and-”
“Shut up.”
“Sheesh, you could stand to lighten up a little, ya know. I was just tryin’ to party, you’re the one takin’ me to a secondary location-”
“I said shut up.”
“Some mouth you got on ya! You’re lucky I’m even doin’ business with a pirate.”
“You’re lucky I don’t hold a grudge.”
“Hey, I gotta earn a livin’ somehow, sugar- ain’t youse a Pirate Hunter? You get it! It’s a dog eat dog world out here- Hold on, where are we even goin’?”
“The docks.”
“... Honey, we came from the docks.”
Zoro smacked a hand over his face.
“Say something sooner!” He hissed, scooting in a smooth 180 around the obnoxious woman-
“Oi, bestie!”
Zoro whirled back, nearly taking out all four-foot-something of the fruit user just in time to catch Sanji jogging down the cobblestone path.
“There you fuckin’ are,” the idiot of the hour continued, slowing to a stop, “I’ve been trying to find you, Nami thinks she may have accidentally just agreed to join the rebel army as second-in-command so we’ve gotta get back to the ship before the molotovs come out- oh, who’s your fr…”
Sanji trailed off as his brow sank and eye widened in recognition.
“Him! Him!!” Zoro yelled, jabbing wildly in the cook’s direction- “Get him!”
“What-!?”
“Truth Bomb!!”
The projectile hit Sanji square in the face at point blank range and the poor lanky sod went flying. Zoro cheered, fists clenched in celebration, and screeched to a stop beside the man’s prone body, still smoking, to bellow out-
“How do you feel about me!”
Sanji stared up at him from the ground, fingers pinched around his nose bridge.
“Hahgh!?”
Zoro bobbed down close enough to make Sanji flinch. “How - do you feel - about me.”
Sanji’s eye widened further and he started to curl onto his side.
“Oh, no, no, no, no-”
“Don’t fight it, swirly, it gets worse the longer you try-!”
“Zoro, please, don’t-” Sanji made a guttural noise like he was choking back vomit- “You really, really don’t- want-”
“Oh, come on, you big baby!” Zoro straightened to his full height, arms folded. “Be a man and tell me about your feelings!”
Sanji’s mounting whine through his nose burst through his lips-
“I hate you!”
Zoro’s mouth stayed stuck open, watching Sanji, still on the ground, who had now crawled onto his front.
“Hah!?” Zoro gave him a rough nudge with his foot and Sanji gripped the back of his own head with a muffled groan- “I make you my whole best friend and I don’t even get a look-in!? That’s it, I’m promoting Usopp-”
“That’s why-!” Sanji couldn’t help but yell into the stone pathway. “That’s why I hate you-!”
Zoro shot a baffled look at the Devil Fruit woman. She shrugged back. He returned to yelling at Sanji.
“You hate me because you’re my best friend?”
“I hate that it’s all I’ll ever be…!” Words were spewing out of Sanji now like he really was being sick, his body lurching in full- “I hate that you said it so blatantly, I hate that it’s the first thing that came to your head, I hate that friendship is the best I’ll ever get and I hate that I can’t even be happy with it.” Sanji had managed to make it to his knees but his head was still bowed low to avoid meeting Zoro’s eye. “I hate that I wanted to be friends with you ever since Loguetown and it’s still not enough. I hate that you said- the second-nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Sanji swallowed back the tear-congested tone his voice was taking on. “And that I still wished you’d said- something else.”
Zoro pressed forward, sharp. “Like what?”
Sanji glanced up at that, eye red and wide and nervous, and he shook his head in a rush before clapping his hand over his mouth. Zoro just reached down and grabbed it away, making him gasp and blurt-
“I wish you’d said you loved me.”
Zoro’s heart thudded against his chest scar. Sanji’s head sank down, but his shoulders drooped in defeat against the devil power, mumbling- “When she asked you, for a second I genuinely thought that’s what you were going to say, even. Like, it was so stupid, but it was just a blip, in my brain, oh, he’s gonna say it, and we’ll finally get together- God, I’m so embarrassed I just said that. I’m so embarrassed that I said I’m embarrassed.” Sanji sucked a breath through a stuffy nose and tried to glare up at Zoro, then around at the woman. “Why th’fuck are you doing this??”
He turned his attention back to Zoro who felt an odd lump crop up in his throat. He swallowed. This is what he’d wanted - not just this evening. It’s what he’d wanted for- it felt like forever- since the cook got back from Whole Cake, since they’d both gotten back to Sabaody, since Zoro had woken in Mihawk’s castle and realised it was Sanji’s face he’d been dreaming up.
So then… it should be easy to say it, now that Sanji was asking him to. It would be so easy to finally admit. So, so easy, so natural, so- just- if he could get his fuckin’ tongue unstuck-
“Truth Bomb!”
Zoro skidded flat across the pavestones with a squawk. He scrambled to sit, coughing smoke from his mouth and nose, glaring at the woman who was already scaling a lamp post on her way to a drain pipe.
“The fuck-!?”
“I got bored waitin’!” She hollered, rubble kicking off the ledge she’d scrambled over. “No job is worth this! I got a gig with a marine witness tomorrow noon, figure it out amongst yourselves!”
And she was gone. Zoro pitched a forgotten tankard at her and it bounced pathetically off a cornice.
“Hey! Don’t threaten a lady, dipshit!”
Zoro turned incredulously towards Sanji, who was standing, now, brushing street gunk and frost off his knees.
“You just fully confessed your love to me and you’re still tripping over women??”
“Did not,” Sanji spat under his breath, avoiding Zoro’s gaze, then- eyes alight- he snapped up with a leer. “Hey! I can lie again!”
Zoro took a step away but jutted his chin forward. “You realise what you just admitted, right?”
“I can lie, because now you’re the one under the bomb.” Sanji had his finger pointed at Zoro and took a decisive step forward, forcing Zoro to take another back. “Your turn, asshole. What the fuck were you thinking? Huh? Did you get what you wanted?”
Zoro clamped his teeth against the wriggling little tendrils of truth. Sanji’s finger was now dangerously close to his good eye, waggling. “Ah ah. Now who’s the fuckin’ baby? Tiger got your tongue all of a sudden? Why the fuck were you working with a Devil Fruit user to attack me-?”
“‘Cause you wouldn’t say it otherwise,” escaped from Zoro’s lips like a deflating balloon. Sanji’s eyebrow lifted.
“Say it? What part?”
“What else-? That you love me.”
Sanji bristled, blush starting at his neck and working its way up, as Zoro had long noticed it usually did. He snapped away from Zoro to rifle through all his own pockets in a familiar ritual.
“Well- No shit, genius. Not like I meant to let it slip, when- I was trying, okay?? Why would I have ever said it, knowing I was in the friendzone?”
“I only said that ‘cause I thought I had to,” muttered Zoro, a second before he realised he shouldn’t.
Sanji curled back around, brow flat, a yet-unlit cigarette stuck to his open bottom lip.
“Huh??” It jiggled when he spoke.
Zoro winced so hard it felt like his face was trying to invert itself but he knew it would be pointless to resist. “I only said you were my best friend,” he elaborated, slowly and carefully, “because I thought it’s what you would prefer to hear.”
He cast a look up at Sanji from under his brow ridge. Sanji was looking back at him, a curve and a pinch between his eyebrows, a soft and surprised bend to his mouth.
“I’m not your best friend?” He asked in a pathetic little whine.
“Can you fucking focus??” Zoro snapped- “I’m trying to confess to you!!”
The cigarette dropped to the ground.
“You- You are!? What?”
“Yes!! Of course!! Why else did you think I went to all this trouble!?”
“Because I- I thought you’d figured out how I felt, and wanted to beat an admission out of me.”
Zoro reeled. “Why in the hell would I even care unless I felt the same!?”
“Zoro, you have to understand that I have spent the last- year or so paranoid that at any given moment I could say the wrong thing and that you’d know and then you’d hate me forever and-” Miraculously, the cook pulled himself back mid-rant to stand, hands on his hips, staring at the row of closed shops directly opposite. After a ridiculous beat of silence he managed to peek over his shoulder only to whip his head away just as fast. It took him another moment in solitude amidst the drifting snow to turn around for good. Hands in pants pockets, he glanced Zoro up and down, and finally, he took a step in his direction. This time, Zoro didn’t step back.
“You still under the bomb?” Sanji asked, his voice quiet but clear. Zoro’s focus ebbed as he tried to feel it out. In all likelihood - probably not. The effect had faded pretty fast after that woman had made her escape the last time, and she was surely long gone by now. He returned his attention to Sanji.
“Yes,” he lied, experimentally. Sanji gave a lazy nod.
“So if you were asked now.” His eye flicked down to Zoro’s mouth for a second that had Zoro’s heart high in his throat. “You’d have to tell the truth.”
Zoro held Sanji’s gaze. “‘Fraid so.”
Sanji nodded again. He faltered, looking down and away, but took in a breath, not yet shrinking. “Troohoohoo, then.” He jabbed a thumb in the direction of his own bowed head. “Whaddaya think of this guy?”
A single snowflake floated down to catch on that crown of blond hair. Zoro just smiled, and took in a steady breath to speak.
“I think he’s a smartass.” Sanji let out a small puff of laughter through his nose but did not shift from his position. “I think he can be selfish. I think he sells himself short. I think his head looks like a ginkgo nut. But most of all- I think- none of that stuff really matters.” He reached out to brush the flake off Sanji’s still-bowed head and heard a tiny intake of breath at the touch. “Because I think he might also be the love of my life.”
He was braced and ready. As soon as he felt that thump of Sanji’s red-hot forehead landing against his chest his arms were wrapped around him, pressing them together, hiding his nose in Sanji’s collar and feeling the other man bury himself in Zoro’s jacket. There, in the snow, the sound of songs and crowd-cheers distant but warm, despite everything he’d always wanted to say, despite everything he’d always wanted to hear, despite the insurance that everything between them that night had been the truth so help them God - Zoro knew better than any word or pact that it was real and honest because finally, he could feel it; Sanji’s heart, thundering in time with his own.