Chapter Text
Everyone knew Subaru and Emilia were close. Like really close, which only made sense given the context of their relationship. He was her knight and confidant and she was his liege and the one who loved him above anyone else. Although a certain twin drilled little girl would beg to differ. But that was neither her nor there. The point is that the two of them have been through thick and thin together. Surviving harrowing incidents such as the machinations of the Witch Cult and the insatiable hunger of one of the Great Demon Beasts of Gluttony. Thus it would only make sense that there would be rumors of just how far their relationship had come since then. With many suspecting an intimate affair of sorts. But nothing has ever been substantiated, which only fueled further speculation about the alleged couple and what they've been up to. So it came as no coincidence when Anastasia Hoshin called for a meeting with both the Emilia and Crush Camp to discuss a potential trade agreement and to renew their alliance. But in truth it was more of a social get together between friends and a subtle way for the savvy businesswoman to scoop out the competition without being blatantly obvious.
Predictably Subaru wanted to accompany Emilia to Lugunica's Capital where the gathering was set to take place and the half elf was more than happy to bring him, along with their Minister of Internal Affairs, Otto Suwen who would be leading the negotiations for their camp and the Oni Maid Ram who'd only agreed to come in order to represent the interests of her master Roswaal L. Mathers and to make sure the others didn't get up to any shenanigans. Coincidentally the group met up with Crusch's Camp outside the city's gate and decided to make their way to the restaurant Anastasia had rented out for the occasion together, with the Duchess's own knight Felix Argyle and Wilhelm Astra joining them.
And almost immediately Emilia's fierce protectiveness over Subaru had begun to become apparent and she was not shy about showing it.
"Stay close to me alright Subaru. Lugunica is a really big and scary place and I don't want you wandering off and getting lost while we're here okay." Emilia said as she beckoned the boy to take her hand.
Those from Crusch's side tried not to laugh and snicker at the awkward situation Subaru found himself in while Otto and Ram didn't appear to be too bothered with this arrangement, almost as if it were commonplace now.
"Yeah, whatever, you say mom." Subaru grumbled and moped, but did as he was instructed with little to no complaint and intertwined his right limb with the half-elf's left, grasping it firmly.
Most assumed that he didn't want to make a bigger fuss over it and draw his crush's anger.
Not that would stop them from teasing him mercilessly.
"Nya, Subaru! You didn't tell me you and Emilia-sama had that sort of relationship." Felix joked, watching the man hold onto the half-elf in an almost maternal fashion. "Nyot man enough to walk around without having your Lady holding you by the leash."
He chuckled, getting a light pinch from Crush who despite trying to be stern and reprimand her knight couldn't help but crack a smile herself.
"Shut up." Subaru muttered, with a slight blush on his cheeks. "And what does it matter, lots of people do this don't they. It ain't that big a deal."
"Well spoken Subaru-dono." Wilhelm smiled faintly, recalling the tender moments when he and his own wife would go on a lovely stroll in the city together hand and hand.
But Ferris wasn't content on letting such an embarrassing moment slide so easily and continued pestering the boy, trying to milk this situation for all that it was worth.
"Nya, but most people don't let their lady friend treat them like an immature brat." He said gleefully,
"Well if Subaru didn't act out so much I wouldn't have to do this." Emilia grumbled, leading the boy through an oncoming crowd of people.
Subaru gave an offended look. "Hey! I don't misbehave that much!" He argued, at which point Otto and Ram had to step in and call him out for his blatant lies.
"Yeah, you sort of do." the merchant and maid said simultaneously.
Subaru blanched, "Ack! My poor aching heart!" Subaru clenched his chest dramatically. "I expected this betrayal to come from Ram but et tu Otto?"
The merchant rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry Natsuki-san but you have to admit you can be kind of reckless."
"And a trouble maker on top of it." Ram jumped in to finish him off.
Subaru growled, unwilling to take these accusations to his character lying down.
"Name one time I dug myself into a hole I couldn't pull myself out of?"
"The Royal Selection." they both repeated again in sync.
God dammit! Subaru winced.
Ferris looked like the cat that literally caught the canary as Crush and Wilhelm were both throwing him pitying looks now.
"You completely embarrassed our camp with your childish outburst, Barasu. Do us all a favor and die quickly." Ram said with no real heat to her voice.
"I may not have been there myself, but a few of my colleagues were and let's just say that your conduct was unbecoming of a knight." Otto grimaced, frankly he was amazed that Subaru got off as lightly as he did after he all but insulted the entire government and made a complete ass out of himself in the process.
Subaru blanched at the double whammy from his friends and ducked his head down in shame as Felix reveled in his fellow knights misery.
"You got that right, Nya!" Felix sing-songed.
"Ferris - " Crush sighed. But Blue would not be deterred. He'd been waiting a long time to tease Subaru about the events of that day and low and behold, here was the perfect opportunity to do that and remind Subaru of just how much he screwed up! Could you ask for anything better!
"If Juli hadn't stepped in, your butt have been toast Subaru-kyun!" Felix mocked and he wasn't lying. There were many knights who wanted to teach the boy the meaning of respect that day and it was only thanks to the vicious beating Julius unleashed that Subaru was sparred from any further reprisal.
Subaru flinched, the memory of being tossed around like a rag doll and being beaten within an inch of his life with a wooden stick made him shutter.
"As if I needed that jerk's help." Subaru raised his fist and shook it in the air defiantly, "I had the situation handled. In fact I could have taken on any of those bozos with one hand tied behind my back." Subaru boasted.
Ram and Otto both deadpanned. Crush scratched the side of her cheek while staring up at a particularly fascinating cloud the shape of a large whale and Whilhelm coughed into his closed fist trying to stave off the awkward tension that had filtered in. No one had the heart to tell the boy the truth.
"Come nya Subaru, Enough is enough." Felix rolled his eyes at the boy's immaturity to admit fault. "We all know you messed up, so fess up and we can move past this."
Of course the healer was lying through his teeth. What? Good blackmail material was hard to come by and he intended to hold this over Subaru's head in the years to come!
Subaru opened his mouth, possibly to retort or possibly to get into another shouting match. He wouldn't get a chance to do either as a rough tug on his earlobe replaced any argument that he might have had with a sharp 'hissss' and an 'owowow!'
"Subaru, what did I tell you about picking fights?" Emilia said, less than impressed with the flailing boy in her grip.
"B-But mom! Felix started it!" Subaru said, with tears budding in the corner of his eyes.
"And I'm ending it. So hush up and don't say another word until we get to the restaurant young man." Emilia said with finality, garnering another round of laughter and heckling at the youths expense.
But unlike before Crusch wasn't laughing and instead she stared transfixed at the couple in front of her. The emerald haired woman wasn't entirely sure what she was searching for, but something about the way Subaru and Emilia were acting struck her as weird.
"As for you Felix," Amethyst's eyes then turned their ire onto Blue who shrunk under the weight of her gaze. "I expected better from you. Bullying a child. Have you no shame!"
"H-Huh!" Felix gaped and sputtered, completely taken back by the woman's outrage. "What do you mean Emilia-sama?! I Nyow, Subaru isn't the sharpest tool in the tool shed."
"Oi!"
"But he isn't that much younger than us, right?" At the wave of silence coming from both Emilia and her camp members, Crusch felt an uncomfortable weight begin to creep into her gut.
"What are you talking about?" Emilia said slowly, as if she were speaking to a dimwit "Subaru is only fifteen years old!"
The Crush camp collectively drew in a deep breath and released it all in one go."
"What!" They blurted out.
"Huh? You're telling me you all didn't know." Ram rolled her eyes at the group's lack of attentiveness. It was obvious when you really thought about it. "Of course Barasu's a brat. Who else could make such a public spectacle of themselves and not feel a lick of shame over it."
"Hm, too true." Otto nodded sagely alongside his companion while holding the edge of his chin as though he were some deep philosopher thinker. "Natsuki-san is legendary for his tantrums and we've been trying to get him to tone it down…with mixed results as you might've guessed."
"Come on you guys! Subaru said miserably, "You're killing my reputation here!"
"Too late for that!" Ram and Otto responded in unison.
Subaru protested and threw a fit but made no refutation about being labeled a 'child' which could only mean…oh dear.
Felix shook his head in fervent denial at the assertion that all this time Natsuki Subaru had been a - no! They were lying or it was a bad joke! Please tell him that they were making all of this up! Because if it was true that would mean…
"Subaru-dono…" Wilhelm started, then trailed off, unsure as to what to even say.
"What is Wilhelm-san?" Subaru said, tilting his head. From this angle his childlike qualities stood out like a sore thumb.
Discounting his height, the small traces of baby fat on his cheeks, the shape of his jawline and the way his clothes barely clung to his still growing body should have made it exceedingly clear now that Subaru was far from being an adult. Not by a long shot.
Then there was his behavior which many attributed to him being spoiled. Yet if one were to take a step back and really examine it, the most likely answer was that Subaru was a loudmouth kid just trying to seek validation from his peers.
"Od, it's true." Crusch trembled and nearly collapsed from the shock of such a startling revelation and the knowledge that she had unknowingly taken a child with her to hunt down and slay one of the three Great Mabeasts!
Wihelm wasn't too far behind his liege in that line of thought, remembering the image of Subaru being flung several meters into the air and the White Whale bearing down on him intending to swallow him whole. What was once a selfless act of bravery had quickly soured and become a horrifying memory as the Sword Demon realized that he had inadvertently used someone who wasn't old enough to drink much less join an expedition to destroy one of the greatest horrors that plagued their world as bait to avenge his dead wife. The old knight felt like was going to be sick.
"Subaru!" Felix growled, his arms stretched out to - Throttle? Hug? Slap some sense in the minor in front of him? He didn't know - uggghhh!
"Y-Your a kid." Felix said shakily, trying and failing to keep his breathing under control "A child, who we took on a dangerous mission. Od, what were we thinking? You must have been what? Fourteen?!"
"Actually thirteen." Subaru grinned, which made Felix go completely pale.
"Nya! That's even worse!" The healer barked, gripping his head to stave off the pounding in his skull. "We let you fight the White Whale, we let you take on the Witch Cult and a fucking Sin Archbishop! A-And- and…oh fuck, Julius beat up a kid."
It would have been hilarious if the truth wasn't so downright disturbing.
"I don't see what the problem is." Subaru pouted. "Mimi is young and so are her brothers. They got in on the action so I should too!" He defended himself poorly, further highlighting his childish tendencies.
"That's not the point!" Felix moaned, he felt as if he were on the verge of a full blown panic attack. "Mimi is trained and the Captain of a Mercenary Group! Meanwhile you were -"
'- a random boy who talked his way into negotiating and allying with the political camps of Crusch Karsten and Anastasia Hoshin. They literally got played by a teenager.
If word of this got out to anyone all their reputations would be down the drain.
"Thanks for reminding me Felix." Emilia said with a growl in her voice, "I've been meaning to have a talk with both Crusch and Anastasia about their conduct on that day along with Julius's actions toward Subaru during the Royal Selection."
"Emilia-sama, I - " Crusch wanted to defend herself but what could she really say? The Duchess had unknowingly led a child into the jaws of death. That was inexcusable.
"You should have consulted me first." Emilia said sternly, "Subaru is my responsibility and as his legal guardian I should have had the final say on any decision involving him.
Wait, hold up! Was the half-elf saying what they thought she was?! Emilia was Subaru's…
"Emilia-sama are you suggesting that Subaru is your - " Wilhelm began shakily, not wanting to imply anything uncouth, but what the woman was saying was utter lunacy!
"I'm not suggesting anything, Wilhelm-san." Emilia said in a no nonsense tone, a hand was placed on her hip as the other squeezed Subaru's protectively. "Subaru is my son. I adopted him a month after meeting him, though officially the paperwork only went through a year ago. But he is mine in every sense of the word." she said, lovingly.
Crusch jaw dropped to the floor. The Winds of Untruth hadn't blown. She was telling the truth. The earlier interactions hadn't been harmless fun after all, but displays of affection between a mother and her child. What the fuck?!
Wilhelm was speechless as was Felix who could only point and stutter out,
"But I thought Subaru loved Emilia, nya!"
"He does." Ram was the one to answer. "As any good son would love his mother. He's obsessed with her." The maid shrugged nonchalantly, knowing just how big a mama's boy Subaru was.
"In hindsight the whole fiasco at the Royal Selection was perhaps due to the insults that were being hurled at Emilia-sama and as you all know Natsuki-san can be quite over protective." Otto chuckled.
"This is unbelievable." Felix said, his face planted in his palms.
"Why are you all getting so worked up?" Subaru said, glancing at his friends and Emilia who were also bewildered by the Crusch and her camp's reaction. "I have a mom. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal?!" Felix laughed incredulously.
'Was he serious right now?'
Crush laid a gentle hand on her knight's shoulder in an attempt to keep him relaxed despite failing at it herself. "Subaru, you have to understand. We were all under the impression you were in love with Emilia!"
"B-But I am!" Subaru defended himself.
"Romantically!"
"E-Eh!"
Subaru made a choking sound at the back of his throat as if he might throw up.
"Ill, gross! Are you insane! That's absolutely disgusting. Me and Emilia aren't like that at all! Why would you think that!" He said in pure revulsion.
Wilhelm wisely decided to keep his mouth shut but he couldn't help but mourn the destruction of the romance between Emilia and Subaru that he was now learning was fictitious all along!
"Perhaps it would be best if we continue this discussion over lunch." Ram drawled, pointing out the numerous eyes that were staring at their group as they stopped in the middle of the street.
This was shaping up to be a stressful day indeed.
And it was about to get so much worse.
...
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Subaru! Emilia-sama! Please forgive me for my ignorance! I should have known better!"
Julius slammed his head on the table repeatedly, rattling numerous dishes and causing one of the servers to 'yelp' and nearly drop the stack of trays they were carrying.
The 'Greatest Knight' had practically been unconsolable since he learned of Subaru's actual age and has been kowtowing to him and Emilia at every opportunity since then.
"Hey, cut that out already you idiot!" Subaru exclaimed hotly, trying not to let the idea of Julius bowing to him of all people freak him out so much. "I said it's fine and it's not like it changes anything! So stand up you moron before you get us all kicked out!"
"But it's not Subaru-kun." Julius said morosely, causing Subaru to nearly lose it again at the change of honorifics the knight started to use to reflect his age. "I have brought shame to the white cloak. If I had known that you were only attempting to defend your mother on that day I would have helped you. Instead I punished you severely. Please accept my humblest apologies."
"It's alright Julius," Emilia smiled gently as she helped Subaru cut the steak that he had ordered into smaller pieces using her own knife and fork. "I'll admit I was a little angry before, but since I know that you and Subaru are really good now I'm willing to overlook it. Just try to play a little gentler with him next time, alright."
"Mooommm!" Subaru whined pathetically. "I don't need this bastard going easy on me!" the dark haired boy argued.
"Heh. I guess he is a brat after all." Ricardo chuckled at the expense of the purple haired knight next to him who was becoming more and more despondent from Subaru's childish outbursts. Honestly, was it really much of a surprise to anyone? "I've got to say Emilia-sama, I never took you for the mothering type. No offense."
Emilia nodded in understanding, "I thought the same thing but when I met Subaru and learned that he was all alone with no home or family to go back to, I couldn't abandon him." the half-elf said passionately, "And besides, I'm over a hundred years old and figured that now would be the best time to raise a family and so far everything seems to be going splendidly."
Subaru hummed in agreement. "Yeah, I never had anyone else until I met Emilia-tan. After my folks kicked me out when I was young, I was living on the streets and thought I was a goner until an angel swept in to save me." Subaru then smiled softly and fiddled with his fingers tentatively, "I'm truly grateful to her."
Emilia cooed.
"Oh, Subaru, you're such a good boy, mwah." Emilia leaned over to give the boy a small peck on his head. "And I love you too sweetie."
Most who were watching the scene found the act to be endearing, Ricardo being one of them, given that he had a surrogate daughter of his own who he met under similar circumstances and who was currently drowning her sorrows with a large swig of alcohol as they spoke.
"I-I can't believe I was tricked by some snot nosed brat." Anastasia slurred her words, with dozens of empty glasses stacked right next to her. "M-My reputation is ruined!"
"S-Speak for yourself!" Crusch said with flushed cheeks, downing another shot with her own knight having already passed out from his bounteous cup of gin.
They were still reeling from the fact that a kid had made a mockery of them both and it would be a while before either one of the women recovered from this humiliation.
"Um, I have a question." Hetaro raised his hand shyly. "If Subaru-chan is so young, why did you make him a knight?"
Subaru grumbled something about 'not being that young,' but a few head pats by Emilia helped to settle him down.
"Truthfully it's a ceremonial title. Subaru did so much for me back at the Sanctuary and helping Beatrice defeat the Great Rabbit it was the best thing I could think of to reward him with at the time." the woman then smiled slyly, "For now he's training to take on the role when he gets a little older."
"I'm going to be the greatest knight in all the land!" Subaru proclaimed, raising his fork in the air triumphantly.
Most groaned. Others like Ram and Otto gave him dry looks, with Emilia being the only one to clap along to the declaration.
Wilhelm for his part sighed in amusement. Despite Subaru being revealed to be an actual brat, he was still the same Subaru which only gave the old man that much more of an incentive to spoil his 'Grandson' to the fullest extent. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all!
"Oh! Oh! Mimi's got something to say!" The oldest and the most energetic of the Pealbaton triplets jumped in her seat. "Does that mean your title as The Lolimancer is just a misunderstanding?"
Err…what?!
"Maybe?" Subaru scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Still don't know where those rumors came from since the only people I regularly hang out with who are close to the same age as me are Petra and…maybe Beako if you stretch it?" the boy shook his head as if ridding himself of such a ridiculous notion. "But she's a granny so that doesn't really count I think?"
Mimi's eyes glimmered. "So it would be okay if Mimi asked you out on a date then?!"
"Mimi!"
"Sister!"
"What?" The girl smirked. "He's not that much younger than me so it should be fine." she giggled.
As voices started to be raised from his sister's antics, Tivey Pearlbaton was the only one to bring attention to the serious dilemma arising from the discovery that Subaru was in fact Emilia's son.
"I think you're all ignoring the key issue here." the boy said, drawing attention to himself. "If Subaru is indeed Emilia's eldest son, then if she wins the Royal Selection doesn't that make him her primary heir?!
Silence. You could have practically heard a pin drop.
"So, I get to be King! That's so coooool!" Subaru cheered.
Then chaos ensued.
Yeah, it was definitely going to be a long day.