Chapter Text
💋 First: Kugelblitz
Heavy, brutal bass thrummed through Lila’s body as the music reverberated through the space, at the same time buoying and anchoring her to the moment; to that absurdly large living room, under the watchful gaze of a bevy of taxidermy animals of exquisite quality but questionable taste. The champagne had been flowing freely for a while, not her usual drink of choice, but enough to keep her buzzed and giddy. Intoxication blended with the adrenaline high of saving the world, making Lila feel fizzy and loose, a feeling shared by the gaggle of Hargreeves around her. How had Lila’s life become so intertwined with this family? Multiple versions of it even? She remembered a time, not so long ago, when they were nothing more than names in the Commission rumor mill; figures only relevant for their connection to the legendary assassin against whom management measured the skill of every agent. Speaking of illustrious killers, Lila draped an arm around Five’s shoulders, recklessly invading his personal space. For all of his prickliness, he had a gravitational quality about him that kept her in his orbit, straying closer and closer to him without conscious thought. Lila has always loved to play with dangerous things.
Five rolled his eyes, body language guarded but not closed off, and perhaps more telling, he didn’t pull away from her loose hold on him. “I knew it!” She chuckled, narrowing the distance from her lips to his ear, trying to be overheard above the music and the roaring fireplace near them. “Deep down you do like me, you old turd.”
As expected, his bone-dry reply came within a heartbeat. “Your general psychosis has evolved to full-on delusion, crazy lady. You should get your head checked.” Not a muscle of his face was out of step with his put-upon air except for the slightest of curls teasing the corner of his lips. Antagonizing each other was the bedrock of their dynamic, but it had shifted from animosity to banter somewhere along the line. The alcohol in Lila’s blood bubbled over with her laughter, surging in a wave of warmth for the grumpy little gremlin at her side. Instead of replying, she mussed his hair. She’d seen Five run his hands through the soft-looking strands hundreds of times; he was very particular about his hair, it annoyed him when others touched it. Lila found enjoyment in annoying him.
Disgruntlement flared on Five’s face, and he shot her a look that spoke volumes. But he didn’t dislodge her arm or move away, she doubted he was conscious of the inherent contradiction. Not the slightest bit intimidated, Lila grabbed his hand and spun him around. “Come dance!” He didn’t reply but followed her lead beautifully, going wherever she wanted him and never missing a step. It didn’t surprise her, there was a bewildering correlation between the level of control it took to train your body to kill with the accuracy and grace he did and the discipline of a dancer, the willpower to master the movement and position of every muscle until it became second nature. As the dance progressed, Five’s attitude relaxed, his grip became firmer, his smile took the proper space on his face, and a flash of a dimple came out to play. It was a pity he didn’t smile more often, it was a glorious sight.
During a turn, she pulled him closer, his back to her front, and the scent of his hair filled her nostrils. Something warm and earthy: coffee, wood, a hint of citrus at the end - maybe bergamot? Pleasant and intoxicating, somehow interacting with the alcohol running through Lila’s veins and sending the bubbles to a boil. Laughing at her body’s overreaction, fueled by the whole saving the world/champagne combination, she channeled the surge of excess energy into a smacking kiss to Five’s temple; just a silly, playful thing she didn’t even think about before doing. The miffed expression he pulled in reply made him look like a grumpy cat so much that it sent Lila into a renewed fit of laughter. It continued long after he disappeared somewhere else in the house, like the tingly feeling on her lips.
🫦🫦💋🫦🫦
💋 Second: Wedding
“Oh pet, that was gorgeous.” Lila wiped imaginary tears out of her eyes as she rushed to Five’s side. “I’ve always known you were just a kitten under the sharp claws.” A wedding wouldn’t have been her go-to idea to celebrate the end of the world, but she learned in the last few weeks that Hargreeves were just made of different stuff. And Five dared to call her delusional, he should take a long hard look at everyone else around him.
Despite the madness of the situation, Lila could concede that walking into the bedecked ballroom, dressed in their Sunday bests, had been a lot of fun. The soft lighting painting starlight on the ceiling gave the room a dream-like quality, a cocoon of beauty to shelter them from the ugliness of a world tearing itself apart. It was an extreme game of Carpe diem because there wouldn’t be any more days to seize, they all knew exactly what the next one would bring. Perhaps death was for the best. Lila didn’t have to make a choice about the baby, the decision was out of her hands; taken away by circumstances more extreme than anyone in her position had ever faced. The Handler had been a terrible example of a mother, Lila would have surely ruined the kid’s life, and Diego didn’t have any sort of paragon to follow either. Despite the show he was putting on tonight, old Reggie was an incompetent parental figure at best. But she had to admit the old man's efforts to get his children to fix the world were highly amusing. As was the equally dogged way most of those children ignored his attempts.
Instead of presenting a united front in the face of human extinction, the Umbrella Academy replayed their game of petty rivalries and shifting allegiances to the bitter end. They took full advantage of the entire ballroom, flitting around like butterflies only to convene in clusters of twos or threes around the different tables. Like an archipelago, Lila snickered at the thought, each Hargreeves an island connected by the ocean of shared trauma. But, underneath it all, there was love too. So much love… They poked and prodded at each other’s soft parts, cheerfully drawing blood, but would defend one another to the death if necessary. The death of countless others, when it came to the oldest/youngest sibling, the one now reacting to Lila’s heartfelt compliment about his speech with an unimpressed look. “That makes no sense. Kittens have claws too; sharp, needly ones.”
“Exactly!” She agreed, reaching out to muss his hair. “You are a pet.” Her efforts disturbed the careful styling into fluffy disarray, making him look disgruntled and adorable.
“And you’re a pest. I’m so glad you’re going away soon.” He swatted away her hand, but his voice never quite mustered the venom of their early exchanges. Lila had been on the receiving end of plenty of his vitriol and could pick out the difference without even trying, he aimed for growly but there was an undercurrent of softness. She knew her own tone had suffered a similar transition in the last few days.
“This is curtain call, grumpy pants. You’ll be dying right next to me.” One of her arms snaked around his shoulder, and a part of Lila wondered when invading his personal space had become a part of their routine, not to annoy or harm, but just because. “But look at the bright side! We both get to be amused by the other’s ending.”
That got her a snort from Five. “Comforting thought.” Eyes crinkling and cheek dimpling, his arm found purchase around her waist as casually as if he’d done it a million times. “Cheerfully morbid, you fit right in.” Warmth rushed Lila’s blood, spilling over her skin and tinting it rosy-red. Something about his words felt like a benediction. She knew little about belonging, had never been certain of her place with her mother, valued only if she was of value to the Handler’s plans; but if Five thought she fit with them, it meant she was part of a family for the first time and fighting so hard for a relationship with Diego had been the right call.
“How much did you drink tonight, duck?” She squeezed his slight frame closer to her side and placed a playful kiss right where his dimple had popped up.
“Dollface, I assure you, not nearly enough to be groped.” But more than enough to stumble over his own feet and spill the contents of his glass the second he tried to untangle himself away from her. “And now I need to get more.”
“Methinks the lady doth protests too much.” Like the giver she was, Lila helpfully stabilized him while he gathered his bearings. “Klaus didn’t bat an eye when I kissed him. And neither did Luther and Sloane.”
“Are you collecting Hargreeves or something?” Five owlishly blinked at her before a slow, devilish smirk transformed his face. “I dare you to kiss Ben next.”
That startled a laugh out of Lila; of all the things she had expected from Five being challenged to a kiss-a-ton wasn’t one of them. “It’s like you don’t even know me. Watch and learn.” She had three more Hargreeves to kiss before the night was over. The end of the world was proving far more entertaining than she’d ever imagined.