Chapter Text
"Dave."
Nothing but the slight static responded. John pouted, strumming his fingers on his desk in the natural piano-playing position they rested in, just in front of his keyboard, then adjusted his mic and more insistently called a louder, "Daaaaaaaave."
Movie night was a best bro institution! It was their thing! Every Friday night for the past year they'd sat up together, picked a great (or shit) movie, and settled in to stream it and chat and laugh and argue over its quality until it was time to drag themselves to bed. Dave wouldn't let the side down! He even set the video-calls to auto-answer because it was set in stone that John would call him then, like clockwork, like gospel. He totally always showed up, he was just in the bathroom or something, he would never leave John hanging!
"Dave!" Nothing. "Dave!"
Wow okay he was taking a long time. But he was clearly there. Clearly.
"DAAAAAAAAVE!"
There was a loud crash, dulled through a wall, which definitely did not sound like someone casually returning to their room. It sounded a lot more like someone storming to it, cursing in a barely audible stream that John couldn't quite make out the contents of, although he was pretty sure some of that was Japanese (he was dimly aware of it from the animes Dave had insisted on subjecting him to) and also pretty sure Dave was about to get a stern talking to about leaving certain bros waiting for him while he did whatever and then being pissy about answering his own computer-
-aaaand that wasn't Dave.
Without meaning to, he shrank in his chair, confronted with a full screen of Dave's doorway, now filled with 6'6" of drowsy looking, angry Texan, a shaggy mop of blonde hair down around his face, larger, pointed shades a little askew where he was scratching irritatedly at one of his sideburns. He was broad at the shoulder, muscular and tan, with a toned torso that pulled in to a tight waist and also the boxers that were the only thing he was wearing. So freckles did go further down than the face, John noted in a desperation not to note anything more intimidating, staring at the dark glass roughly where eyes should be like a deer caught in blacked out headlights.
"Huh." Oh good he was moving over, leaning forward on the desk with gloved hands splayed just in sight, clearly focused intently on the screen with mouth in a tight line. "You Dave's boyfriend?"
"No!" John yelped loudly, then coughed as a single eyebrow swept upwards. "Uh, no, sir, Mister Strider, I'm just his friend-"
"Bro."
"Well, yeah, that too-"
"No. It's Bro. Don't call me Mister Strider, Jesus Christ I'm not that old." Not that old equated to roughly the same age as Dad, John guessed, looking him over closely, which was weird because John had always thought that was pretty old before. Nonetheless he nodded, and the tensed shoulders relaxed a little. "Why the fuck did you wake me up anyway, kid? Davey's out with his girlfriend."
His girlfriend? Dave had a girlfriend? How had this not been something he was told? That was a massive violation of the best bro code and if Dave had actually run off with some hussie when it was movie night John would...would...get totally upset with him and stuff! That would teach him.
"What?"
"Some chick named Teezee or something, I don't even care. But he ain't due back tonight. Staying at her place. Made sure the dude had protection and then told him if any of it was actually needed I'd hang him off the roof." Bro's attention was finally off of John, as he rifled through Dave's stuff until he produced an apple juice and sipped it, pulling a face and setting it back down a moment later. "Shit that's sick. Sorry to break it to you but the little man's got all whipped as fuck. What did you even want? I'll tell him if I remember once I've slept this shit off."
"...movie night."
"Movie night? You wanna go out on a platonic bro date or something."
"No! Oh my God, I don't want to date Dave. It is movie night. Right now. He's meant to watch one of my favorite movies with me I've been begging him to for months and it was finally the night and he's off with a girl instead of here with me!" John sniffed, pouting just a little. This was stinging quite a bit actually. It was mostly the abandonment, but also the jarring realisation Dave had real life friends, people he actually went out with, he wasn't stuck in a house all the time alone but for his father. "It isn't fair! He didn't even tell me! Tell him he's a jerk!"
"That I totally can do. Right well if that's everything, I'm going back to fucking bed."
John rubbed his eyes on his sleeve and nodded, staring at his desk as he definitely did not almost actually cry. For a while, the static continued, then it cut off with the hang-up tone and John shuffled his feet, imagining Dave out somewhere laughing and chatting with people who weren't him, and weren't just on a screen. That thought sucked hard, so he thought about watching the movie alone and even that didn't cheer him up much, because it wasn't any fun without Dave. He was jealous of his best friend having other friends. That made him a total selfish dick. A totally upset, lonely selfish dick. Yes it did.
He pulled off his earphones and dumped them on his desk. Fucking Dave. Fucking movie night ruining Dave. Maybe this was hormones and stuff but seriously he felt terrible and he didn't have some girlfriend to go running to to make it all better. He had a bunny, which he cuddled like the totally mature fourteen year old he was. The bunny was his friend. There! He did have a friend in real life! Suck on that, Strider!
It took him a few moments to actually notice the trill of a ringtone, and when he looked up from whispering to the bunny about what a bitch Dave's girlfriend clearly was his screen had a flashing video chat invite from Dave's account. First up Dave never called him first, and second Dave was not home, so he'd been told. Maybe Bro was lying? Dave was actually there?
He bounced over and accepted it before he'd finished fumbling his headphones on, bunny now in his lap, his smile dimming when the window reopened to Bro, now in a white shirt at least.
"Oh. Hi."
"What movie were you gonna watch?"
"Um, why?" John shuffled the bunny out of view, and swore the corners of that impassive mouth twitched in a smirk. "I mean, I was going to go to bed now, I guess."
"Were you gonna cuddle that thing all night long?"
"Shut up! No! Maybe."
"So what movie was it? Work with me here, come on, I'm pretty sure I'm still hungover."
John frowned at him, then mumbled the name, watching him type away until a link for a stream popped up in the chat window beside the video. He didn't click it, giving the shades a look he hoped was questioning but probably came across more gormless.
"You looked like a sad puppy that I was kicking with every word I said so because my bro is a fuckup who just leaves his friends in the cold I guess I will be the host of your movie night tonight and then you can stop being depressed and I can go back to sleep with a clear fucking conscience, okay?"
That wasn't quite what he'd expected. Given Dave's descriptions of Bro swung from 'he's the coolest shit ever' to 'he's the world's biggest douchebag', or often were both simultaneously, this felt like a trap. The link was probably porn. He totally shouldn't click it. Stranger danger and all that jazz, after all, this was like a thirty something guy he'd never actually talked to before. John hovered his mouse and then wondered what Dave would even say if he knew John had spoken to Bro, given how quickly he quit chat whenever his brother actually walked in.
"Plus I ain't got anything better to do so I figured what the hell. It's this or sleeping." Oh right Bro was still there, watching him inwardly debate this with his stupid thinking expression where he sucked his whole mouth to the the left and bit his bottom lip. He rapidly dropped it for a less derpy look, flushing to the tips of his ears. "If the movie's shit, which it is, you better prepare yourself for me giving it a patented Strider redub and improving the whole fucking thing to levels never before witnessed though, kid."
What the hell, he had nothing else to do but cuddle a bunny.
"It's John." He offered, settling back and clicking the link.
.:.
It wasn't porn, and he really hated to admit it but Bro's version of the movie was as funny as it was heretical. It started with odd comments, then when John giggled once or twice it built up into a full commentary, switching to text when John shooshed him at the best parts, then back as soon as he thought he could get away with it. John as always excitedly interjected about the genius of the best moments, which Bro blew raspberries to and proceeded to 'improve' them. The only time he didn't was when John emotionally reenacted the reunion with his bunny and Bro as his loving daughter, and at the end they both laughed and John realised at some point Bro had started smiling and laughing and he was a lot less scary when he wasn't deadpanning.
He was kind of likeable. Sort of. Maybe.
"That was shit." The Strider announced as the credits rolled, stretching his arms out and cracking his elbows loudly. "Total and utter shit."
Nope. John took it all back. He was a total douche.
"That was incredible don't even lie, you cannot fault that film, that film is perfection."
"No, no, pretty sure it's still shit."
John snorted, leaning his head on his hand and doing an overdramatic roll of his eyes. "You were totally into it. Come on, man, the bunny. You were my Casey. That stuff was heartwarming."
"You are such a dork."
"Yeah well you totally are too! I've seen beyond the shadowy figure of mystery now, and he's a total dork who talks over great films and ruins them-"
"-improves them-"
"-for fun while making stupid faces and doing voices. Oh my God, you're totally not cool. You're the opposite of cool."
"I think you'll find it's cool because it's beautifully ironic."
"That doesn't even make sense!" He threw up his hands, then lowered them and considered the smile on his face and the way his jaw hurt from laughing and all of the other things he usually only got from time talking to Dave. "But. Thanks. It was fun."
"Yeah it was." Bro replied with a shrug, sipping the orange juice that had just fucking appeared in his hand halfway through the movie, though he swore he'd gone and got it from the kitchen, "You're alright for a total derp."
"You're alright for a total poser."
"Ouch. I'm hurt, John. I thought we had something special."
"Oh shoosh. I need to go to bed before Dad comes in and finds me talking to a guy twice my age." Curiosity reared its head, and he frowned. Dave had actually never said it, far as he could remember. "Huh. How old are you, actually?"
"Thirty one." Bro conceded reluctantly, like parting with the information caused him physical pain. "I'm not that old."
"Oh. So only...seventeen years older than me."
"Shut the fuck up."
"Like I said, I'm going to bed. Thank you for saving movie night, oh mighty Bro." John bowed over-dramatically, and straightened to another smile that quickly faded to a deadpan. "Truly, you are the greatest. It is you."
"Damn straight. Sleep well, you little princess you. Don't forget your bunny."
"Shut up."
"No you shut up."
A few minutes of back and forth and John finally hung up, smiling at his screen for a minute as the warm fuzzing in his stomach ceased to fade. So he guessed Bro was a little cool, though he'd never admit that. Just as he went to switch off, the text widow pinged one last time before Dave's account went offline.
TG: timaeusTestified
TG: If you ever want to bitch about Dave or whatever.
TG: Night, kid.
So that made five friends and a bunny, he decided as he sent a chum request before shutting his computer down, even if Dave could never know of his forbidden broship with the elder Strider. He would totally do one of his ridiculous acrobatic pirouettes off the handle and act like the world was ending, John could see it already. Nope. If he was going to be a dick and run off with some girl John could totally run off with-
No. Wait. What?
-could totally become friends with Bro. Fair's fair. Yeah.
He hopped into bed, and did not snuggle the bunny all night long at all.