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Hey, so tiktok just died; RIP you were a real one *insert hand pointing to the heavens*.
For whatever reason it didn't really hit me until I couldn't reach it anymore and now I'm in tears and quite literally don't know where to turn. So I figured fuck it, I'll post here because why not. I didn't get to say goodbye (didn't let myself) so here's the goodbye I didn't want to say.
When tiktok first got popular I waited a while before downloading it; I've always been like this and it was a point of pride for me that I wasn't one of the people that was downloading this "silly dancing app". I ended up getting it because my college roommate convinced me to just try it; crazy thing about small innocuous choices, they can lead to the most profound of places.
I found so many people on tiktok; so many things that helped me through rough moments. I laughed, cried, and raged on this app; I learned about so many new things, places, and people; I was introduced to cultural practices I hadn't known and found people I understood on a deeper level than I thought I ever would. I found music, art, a new love for creating that I thought I didn't have anymore. I wasn't a big creator; I had 60 followers and had stopped making videos because they felt fake and not like me. Figures that once I finally get my creative spirit back and start finding my way, just as I am going to start trying again, that option was taken from me.
I scrolled until the end and it was worth the time. I'm going to miss all the people I met and the ones I didn't; I wish I wish I wish
I wish this didn't have to happen; I wish community was easier to come by and not so callously thrown to the wayside.
I wish there weren't people taking away something that has done profound good because some loser in a t-shirt or hoodie wants more money.
I'll find you all again, someway somehow; but by the God I don't believe in I wish there didn't have to be space between.
I won't give up but I think I'm going to be here a little while; just take a moment and let time pass.
As the tears roll down my cheeks, American Pie by Don McLean playing in the background, I love you all and I already miss you. Please don't forget me cause I have no plans to forget any of you <3.
See you on the other side.