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In which Arwen overhears the council of Elrond and immediately goes “hell no Aragorn is the last of his line and with no heir there is no way he's going on a jolly good trek to Mordor” and she joins the fellowship in his place.
Elrond, the helicopter girl-dad that he is, joins as well and leaves Boromir in Rivendell (he did not trust him anyway, also men are weak etc.etc.).
Aragorn gives Anduril to Arwen the same way Arwen gave him the necklace in the original version.
While in Rivendell, Boromir goes to therapy and becomes besties with Aragorn. Together they start plotting how to get Aragorn safely to Minas Tirith and how to carry out a fucking coup against Denethor.
The four Hobbits, Gimli, Legolas, Arwen, Elrond and Gandalf leave and head to the Pass of Caradhras.
Ofc they have to turn back but at least Elrond solves the riddle of the doors of Durin immediately because he was there when they fucking installed them it goes like this:
Merry: what do you suppose that means?
Gandalf: Oh it’s quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the passw-
Elrond: Mellon.
*doors of durin open *
The hobbits: OoO OoO OoO OoO
Gandalf: O_O
Elrond: =_= Moving on.
Arwen fucks up the Watcher in the Water in like 0.2 seconds.
Pippin and Merry stress Elrond out so much he becomes addicted to pipeweed.
Gandalf still falls fighting against the Balrog while Elrond is busy keeping Arwen (if Glorfindel did it so can I) back.
They get to Lorien and Galadriel yells at Elrond for three days straight for putting Arwen in danger. Then she goes to have tea with her granddaughter and they laugh about it.
Nobody dies at Amon Hen when they are ambushed, the tear-jerker scene at the end of the first movie is Elrond-Arwen goodbye because he is the only one who has been to Mount Doom and will need to guide Frodo and Sam. There must be a speech from Elrond about how Arwen has inspired him to have courage and face the mistake of his past (not forcing Isildur to destroy the ring) and how he now knows she will make a wonderful queen and leader.
Arwen, Legolas and Gimli become the three hunters. They meet Eomer and when he lends them his horses he is gobsmacked by Arwen’s horse riding skills.
When they get to Edoras, Arwen sees Grima being creepy with Eowyn and thinks “What the fuck, why is nobody doing anything about this” then she looks around and sees she’s surrounded by men and goes “Oh, thatll explain it” and fucking shoots Grima in the face point blank. Arwen and Eowyn become besties. (Yes Eowyn still gets a lil bit of a crush on her new hero and Theoden still approves of his niece’s choice cuz he’s cool like that also Arwen is very good with horses)
Elrond is an amazing guide and while he still allows Gollum to follow, he warns Frodo to listen to Sam and not to trust Smeagol. Elrond still gets lost a couple of times because “Okay yeah it has been a while since I last visited alright?”
When they meet Faramir in Ithilien he goes full fangirl mode over Elrond because “Omg I studied you in books could you introduce me to Lady Galadriel one day also may I get an autograph on my quiver pls?” Elrond (signs the quiver and) explains why they need to go to Mordor and Faramir lets them go of course but not before asking after his big bro.
Haldir does not die in this version because I say so.
Aragorn gets a full dream-like sequence of himself moping and brooding in a sheer nightgown because he’s worried for Arwen. (Boromir witnesses it like “what the fuck man”)
Gandalf and pippin leave for Minas Tirith and the beacons are fucking lit (Obligatory scene of Arwen running up the stairs to Meduseld and tearing open the double doors -god I wish that were me).
Yes, Arwen knows who Dernhelm really is and completely approves.
Arwen takes the Path of the Dead with Gimli and Legolas and since she wields Anduril she manages to convince the ghosts to come with her and fight for the King.
Elladan and Elrohir pop out of a bush and are like “Hey lil sis we know you and dad told us to watch out for Estel but we missed you and he has a new buddy which he’s busy planning to overthrow a government with anyway so he’s fine.”
They immediately join in with Legolas and Gimli’s kill count competition.
Meanwhile Aragorn and Boromir get to Minas Tirith undercover and Odysseus style sneak into the citadel. Boromir is right there when Pippin calls for help to save Faramir and Boromir decks his father in the face. Aragorn does not stop him because sure he’s a healer, but-
Arwen leads the decoy attack on the Black gates while Aragorn heals Faramir, Eowyn and Merry in the Houses of Healing, and Boromir tries to keep Gondor on her feet as the new Steward.
Elrond, Frodo and Sam meet Shelob. Sam manages to fight it off and Elrond nurses Frodo back to health again without him getting kidnapped.
When they get to Mount Doom Elrond sees Frodo succumb to the Ring’s will just like Isildur did and has a bit of a life crisis right there. He’s sure to grow a nice beard after this.
Gollum bites the ring off Frodo’s finger and falls into the lava.
The war is won. Aragorn is King of Gondor, Boromir is alive and we got Arwen screen time.