Chapter Text
“Lieutenant Asuka,” that woman called him as he and his team turned to leave her office. “Can I have a word before you go?”
Shinn had to bite his mouth to contain a curse.
Even if he had overcome his negative feelings about Orb and its rulers, or at least he was working on it, facing its current head of state was hard, no matter if it was just for a work meeting and Luna, Agnes and their commander accompanied him. The fact this was the very woman Shinn had lashed out more than once at in the past didn’t make it any better either.
But he, alone with her? It was a recipe for disaster.
He searched for an excuse to refuse, but nothing came to mind. After all, as a member of COMPS, it wasn’t easy to deny an audience with one of its overseers without a good reason, and it was even worse when said person seemed to be a good friend of your superior officer. He could hardly miss the encouraging smile Commander Yamato was giving him.
Great. Just great.
He inhaled deeply as Luna whispered something about lunch before she and the rest left the room. When the door closed behind them, Shinn turned around, bracing himself to face Representative Athha without fucking things up more than they were.
Only for Commander Yamato’s sake, of course.
“Yes?” Shinn asked. He sounded more annoyed than angry, which counted as a win in his book.
The Representative remained seated behind her desk, elbows on the table, hands with crossed fingers in front of her, and her amber eyes fixed on him, glimmering with serene interest. Lately, she had been more composed and resolute than the first time he met her, he had to give her that at least. They looked at each other for some long, tense seconds, as Shinn waited for her to broach the topic. Finally, she sighed.
“Look,” she said, her voice calm and assertive, even if a little tired. “I know we’ve had differences in the past, but since we’ll have to work closely, I'd like to clear the air between us.”
That? As far as Shinn was concerned, he would rather avoid interacting with her altogether, but even he realized that may not be a mature way to go about it. He crossed his arms and nodded grudgingly, not trusting himself to speak without screwing up. She seemed to take his silence as a clue to keep talking.
“Maybe you don’t want to hear this,” her eyes looked away for a second, before returning to him with a renewed strength, “but I want you to know that I listened to your criticism, and that I’m trying to do the best I can for Orb and its citizens. If you have any complaints about my methods, I'm open to constructive criticism.”
She opened her hand to him as a way to stress her point, always keeping a polite smile. Shinn could recognize she was trying to be friendly with him, but he didn’t know how to deal with that. Not in this context, and especially not with her. Rage, resentment, those were emotions he was familiar with, that he used to express without remorse to those he deemed guilty, she among them. But he had already learned they would only lead him to dark places he didn’t want to return. And yet, he didn’t know how to go another way…
He didn’t know what expression was on his face, but whatever it was, it seemed to dissuade Representative Athha from trying to coax an answer out of him. She inhaled deeply, most likely suppressing another sigh, and joined her hands again.
“That being said, I understand that you may feel uncomfortable working closely with me or Orb, so I won't mind if you don't want to come here, and I’ll try not to bother you too much.” She shrugged, closing her eyes. “In any case, you can always leave Orb’s related matters to Kira.”
“... Understood.”
He may not have her in good esteem, but he could appreciate the effort to mend bridges between them, although it may only be because they were working in the same organization and towards the same goals. And in that sense, he felt she deserved at least an acknowledgment, even if he still didn’t know how to be polite around her.
That should be enough, right?
… Then why did he feel as if something was missing?
Ahh…
Deep down, he knew. He couldn’t just leave things like that. It… it didn’t feel right. She had extended the olive branch, and if he wanted to be better than in the past, if he wanted to understand things better and correct his past mistakes, he should take a step forward as well.
No matter how hard or uncomfortable that may be.
“... Sorry,” he blurted before he could think twice about it. Representative Athha looked back at him, and even if she kept her expression in check, Shinn could distinguish surprise in her eyes.
Well, there was no way to take that back. Not now.
“I mean- I’m sorry for my words when we first met. And after,” he explained, forcing the words to come out of his treacherous mouth as he looked everywhere but her. Since he was already in this situation, he could at least try to explain himself. Only this time though. “I… pushed towards you most of the hatred and pain I had for war and my own helplessness. I don’t know if I will ever be able to let those feelings go, but I realize now I was out of line.”
Plucking up the courage, he dared to glance at the Representative again. No matter her previous efforts to keep her poise, she was now looking at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head. Shinn felt his cheeks burn.
“So, that,” he concluded, raising the volume of his voice to hide his embarrassment. “Do you have any problem with it?!”
The Representative blinked twice, and then…
Then she laughed, a warm, genuine laugh that seemed to light up the whole room with its resonance. It made her look less stiff and more juvenile, and Shinn suddenly remembered that, despite her high position as a politician, she was only one or two years his elder.
“That’s ok,” she conceded, regaining her breathing. “You seem to have grown a lot.”
She then beamed at him, and Shinn shifted uncomfortably. Those warm eyes and pleased smile made her seem like a mother, or maybe an older sister, proud of her younger brother…
But he? Being seen as a younger brother by Cagalli Yula Athha? He would rather die!
“S-shut up!” Shinn looked away again and crossed his arms. “I still will leave all of Orb's job to Commander Yamato.”
“That’s ok. I'll be happy to have a reason to talk to Kira more often.”
That comment reminded him of something. Commander Yamato and this woman seemed to be awfully close, and at times, even more physically affectionate than he and Miss Lacus, his actual girlfriend. It usually left Shinn with a nasty taste in his mouth.
“If you’re going after the Commander…” he began, gaining confidence with each word. Maybe his superior officer could watch his own back, but a little help wouldn’t hurt. “You should give up. He’s completely faithful to President Clyne.”
The Representative didn’t even try to hide her shock this time, her brow furrowing and her shoulders rising.
“What?!” she exclaimed, moving her hand in front of her in a gesture of denial. “You’re getting it all wrong! Kira is my little brother!”
… Seriously?
“That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard!” he blurted out, matching her tone.
“It’s true!”
“You can’t be serious!”
“I am! Just go and ask him!”
***
As the caring superior he was, Commander Yamato asked about his meeting with the Representative later that day, and Shinn couldn’t help but comply. The older boy listened to his story later that day with his usual serene smile until his subordinate reached the end.
“No, she is wrong about that-” He pointed out, and Shinn couldn’t contain a sigh of relief in response.
“I knew you both couldn’t be related-”
“-she’s the younger one,” his commanding officer added, emphasizing the last words.
And Shinn was left speechless.
“SO YOU TWO ARE SIBLINGS FOR REAL?!”