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In the end, she asks him on a date.
They’d talked around it for weeks, months really, and she ran out of patience, her desire to move forward with him, to be with him, overtaking any need to take it slow.
She and Aaron had become closer since she’d come home from Paris. He understood her, what she’d been through, in a way no one else could. She was grateful for it in a way that sometimes made her feel selfish. He’d gone through something awful, something she wished he’d been spared, but it meant that she was less alone. That he was there with her in the dark, his smile and his kindness a bright light that chased everything hiding in the shadows away as he helped her figure out how to pick up the pieces of who she once was to build who she had become.
They spent all their spare time together. She spent weekends with him and Jack at their place or at the zoo or aquarium. They’d bake together and watch movies, and after Jack was in bed, she and Aaron would drink wine and talk about anything and everything, their relationship almost as far away from their hostile first meeting as possible.
Almost as far away.
Sometimes, she thought he was going to kiss her. She’d catch him staring at her lips before he’d clear his throat and blush like a teenage boy with a crush. It was frustratingly endearing. She’d find herself standing on the threshold of his apartment, the door closed behind her, and her fingers pressed against her lips as if he had kissed her.
She gives up waiting on him to ask her out after some gentle pushing from JJ and Penelope. A girl's night that descends into them talking about her and Aaron’s relationship, or lack thereof, as if she wasn’t there, their smiles wide and teasing as she tried and failed to change the conversation more than once. A comment JJ made about Aaron having likely not asked anyone out since Haley sticks in Emily’s mind, and it’s the final push she needs to take that leap for him. He smiles at her the moment she asks, wide and bright and gorgeous in a way that makes her stomach flip, and she knows ready to jump with her.
It takes her longer to get ready than she’d like to admit. It feels final in a comforting way. The fact that she was going into this knowing it was likely her last first date not something that scared her like she thinks it should. It’s freeing. Safe. And when he knocks on her front door, happiness and excitement fizzes under her skin in a way it hadn’t since she was young, and she has to take a moment to try and centre herself.
A small part of her worries it will be awkward, that they may be ruining the best friendship either of them had ever had, but it isn’t. He shows up with flowers that he shyly tells her are safe for Sergio, and he opens the car door for her before he gets in himself. He lets her playfully argue with him about who pays for dinner, but she relents, knowing on some level that it’s important to him to do this the way he thought he had to.
He was a gentleman. He always had been, and she loves it in a way she thinks a teenage version of herself would turn her nose up at. He’s kind and funny and soft in a way she would never have guessed he was capable of in those first few months she knew him.
He walks her back to her apartment after their date, his fingers tangled with hers as they walk slowly, both of them dragging it out as their shoulders occasionally knock together. When they make it to her front door she digs her hand through her purse for her keys and presses her lips together whilst she pushes the key into the lock, turning her head just enough to look at him, clearing her throat to push down nervousness she doesn’t fully understand.
“Want to come in?” She asks, suppressing a smile when he simply stares at her, “For a drink?”
He looks around to make sure they’re alone, that none of her neighbours can hear them, and he smiles at her, “Em, I don’t want you to think I’m expecting anything.”
She chuckles and leans in to kiss his cheek, her lips lingering there when she feels him suck in a breath, “Aaron, you’re probably the last gentleman left in the entire world, I know you’re not expecting anything,” she says, and he smiles at her, an edge of anxiety to it, and she reaches for his hand again, “I want you to come in. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
She knew it went both ways, that they were both nervous for different reasons entirely, and no matter how much she wanted him, how much she wanted to make use of the lingerie she’d bought with him in mind. The lingerie she’d bought to make her feel more comfortable at the idea of someone seeing what her body looked like now. She wanted him to be comfortable too. She wasn’t the only one out of the two of them whose body had been changed beyond her control. The landscape of them both altered by men who sought revenge with violence, the topography of their bodies something new for the other to explore.
He smiles at her and lifts her hand to his lips, stamping a gentle kiss to her knuckles, and she presses her lips together in an attempt to hide the breath she sucks in. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I hope you know that.”
She nods, her eyes drifting to her hand, to where she can feel tingling where he’d pressed his lips against her skin, and then she looks up at him.
“I know. I think we’re both nervous because…because this is important,” she says, and he nods, kissing her knuckles again, making her shake her head at him as she laughs, something that felt like it could be her future flashing in his eyes when he laughs too, “But, why don’t we start with a drink and go from there?”
He nods in agreement and tugs her closer, stamping his lips briefly against hers before he pulls back, “I like the sound of that.”
___
“Daddy, Emily, watch me!”
Aaron chuckles as he tugs Emily closer, his arm looped around her shoulders as they sit huddled on a park bench, both of them watching Jack as he rides his bike on the path in front of them. It was only his second time riding it without his training wheels, and he insisted that he wanted to do it without help, he told them to sit down and watch as he rode back and forth in front of them.
“We are watching, buddy,” Aaron says, “I promise.”
“You’re doing great, sweetie,” Emily says, taking a sip of the coffee in her hand before she passes it to her boyfriend, smiling up at him as their fingers skim over each other as she hands him the take-out cup, “You know,” she says, lowering her voice so only Aaron can hear her, “There was a time when Saturday mornings were for laying in my bed hungover,” she says, smiling despite her attempt to appear grumpy as he smiles at her, “ Not sitting in a freezing park in the morning watching your son ride his bike.”
He hums and sips the coffee before he passes it back to her, taking the opportunity to lean in and kiss her, the taste of coffee and him lingering on her lips as she pulls back, “This is better though, right?”
She nods and kisses him again, making a point of stamping it against his lower lip, “Much, much better.”
There were times when she couldn’t believe that this was her life now, that she was part of a family in a way she’d given up hope on. It was small. Made of broken pieces they’d glued together with love and purpose, but it was beautiful and hers. She loved Aaron and Jack in ways she didn’t think were possible, they’d worked their way into her heart and taken up space she thinks must have always been there waiting for them. She spent most of her nights with them these days, and on the rare occasion she did go back to her place alone, she hated it. Hated the silence that she used to find comfort in, the emptiness of it somehow louder than Jack’s toys or the movies he liked to watch whilst sandwiched between her and Aaron. She couldn’t sleep without Aaron’s breathing skipping across her neck and the weight of his arm across her chest.
She loved them, and they loved her, and that was everything.
She’s about to kiss Aaron again when she’s stopped by the sound of a crash and a yell. They both look over to see Jack on the floor, his bike next to him, and his face collapsing into a surprised sob.
“Daddy! Emily, I hurt my hand.”
They are up and running towards Jack before he can finish calling for them, their shared cup of coffee abandoned on the bench they’d claimed as theirs for the morning. Emily is sure she must skim her knee as she lands on the floor next to him, the sting of it through her jeans just about registering in the back of her mind as she cups Jack’s face, Aaron’s hand over hers as they encourage him to look at them.
“Are you okay, buddy?” Aaron asks, wiping a tear from Jack’s face, “Are you hurt?”
Jack sniffs and shifts so he’s leaning against Emily, the fibreglass of his helmet knocking against her chin as she tugs him closer, her smile soft and encouraging as her eyes meet Aaron’s.
“I fell off my bike,” he sniffs, holding up his palm, showing that he’s skimmed it, bright red skin with small dots of blood shining up at them, “My hand hurts.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Emily says, unclipping his helmet for him and taking it off, “That looks sore.”
He nods and shifts closer to her the moment his helmet is off, “It is.”
Aaron holds his son’s hand and gets a closer look, “I don’t think you’ll need a bandaid, but we should clean it,” he says, digging through his coat pocket before he pulls out two individually wrapped antiseptic wipes.
Emily smiles at him, “You just…carry those around with you?”
He smiles too, winking at her as he rips the top off one of the packets, “I have a 7-year-old,” he says, nodding towards his pocket, “I have a whole pharmacy in here. Jack, this is going to sting,” he says, tightening his hold on his hand as he tries to pull it away, “But only a little, okay, I need you to be really brave.”
Jack nods, “Okay,” he says, turning to look at Emily, “You’ll keep hugging me, right?”
It feels like he has his hand wrapped around her heart, the earnest look in his eyes enough to make it skip a beat, the breath she sucks in painful as she nods and holds him tighter, stamping a kiss against his forehead, “Always, baby.”
Jack turns back to Aaron, missing the fond way Aaron smiles at them both, “I’m ready.”
Aaron wipes his skin gently, apologising to his son as he winces. Emily soothes him, her hand cupping the back of his head as she kisses his forehead, and then it’s over - his damaged skin clean and already no longer bleeding, and the offending wipe back in the packet it came from and in Aaron’s pocket.
“There we go,” Aaron says, smiling at Jack, “You were so brave, buddy.”
Jack furrows his brow, “You forgot to kiss it.”
“Of course, silly Daddy,” Aaron says, a fake dramatic flare to his voice that makes both Jack and Emily laugh. She smiles curiously as Aaron nods, pulling Jack’s hand closer to kiss it next to the broken skin, “All done.”
Jack turns to look at Emily and holds his hand out to her, “You have to kiss it too,” he says earnestly, his expression as serious as she’d ever seen it, “Otherwise it won’t get better.”
She looks over at Aaron and sees that same look in his eyes as she had just a few minutes ago, his smile full of adoration, and she looks back at Jack.
“Well, we can’t have that.” She kisses the palm of Jack’s hand and then pulls back, “There we go,” she says, kissing it again for good measure, “You know what I think?” She asks, waiting for Jack to shake his head in response, “I think because you’ve been so brave, Daddy should take us to that diner you like with the smiley face pancakes.”
His eyes widen with excitement and he turns to Aaron, “Can we?”
Aaron smiles and stands up, offering Emily a hand to help her up as Jack jumps to his feet, his injured hand already forgotten. Aaron raises an eyebrow at Emily, as if they didn’t both know he’d been thinking of suggesting the same thing, “You two could convince me of anything.”
___
She finds him in their home office.
He’s left the door slightly open for her so she doesn’t knock, knowing if he didn’t want her in there with him he would have closed the door. It was a silent rule of theirs to let the other know if they truly wanted to be alone or if they wanted company. She pushes the door open and smiles as he looks up at her, a glass of untouched scotch in front of him and his tie abandoned somewhere on his desk.
“Hi honey,” she says, closing the door behind her, “Jack is asleep,” she says as she walks towards him, sitting on the edge of his desk, something in her chest easing when Aaron immediately reaches out for her, his palm warm and heavy through her leggings against her thigh, “He’s so excited I think he’ll wake us up earlier than he did at Christmas.”
Aaron chuckles at that and squeezes her thigh, “I’m excited too.”
She knows he is, knows that his seemingly solemn mood has nothing to do with her or their plans for tomorrow, but everything to do with his past. The chapter he’ll finally close when the morning rolls around.
They were getting married. He’d proposed a couple of months ago, and neither one of them wanted a long engagement. Aaron had said more than once that he’d take her lead, that he wanted to make sure she had the wedding she wanted, but all she wanted was to be his wife. They were going to city hall, just the two of them and Jack, in the morning, and she could feel the excitement bubbling under her skin. She was going to marry the love of her life in a dress she’d bought off the rack whilst he wore a suit she’d seen him in a hundred times before. It was beautiful in its simplicity, and she couldn’t have asked for anything more.
She knew Aaron was excited too, but it was different for him. He’d been down this road before, had promised forever to Haley in a church surrounded by their families, and it was a promise he hadn’t been able to keep. She knew it weighed heavily on him at times that he was getting another chance, that he was happy again, and that Haley would never be able to do the same.
“Want to talk about it?” She asks, reaching out for him to cup his cheek, her engagement ring cool against his skin as she encourages him to look at her. He nods, and she smiles as he turns his head to kiss her hand, his lips catching the band of her ring. She stands, and he moves without prompting, pushing himself back from the desk just enough to make room for her to sit on his lap. He wraps his arm around her as she settles against him, her side against his chest and she links one of her hands through his, rubbing her finger back and forth over the heel of his hand. She waits for him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t, so she carries on “She’d be happy for you, you know that right?”
He hums and squeezes her hand, “I like to think she would,” he sighs and shrugs, “But…”
It breaks her heart, the silence around them as he drifts off filling her lungs as her breath stutters in her chest, “I know she would be.”
He smiles sadly, “You didn’t know her very well, sweetheart. How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know you, and I know Jack, and there’s no way someone who you loved, or someone who is half of that amazing little boy, could be anything other than loving and kind,” she runs her fingers through his hair, “And, I was there when…” she drifts off and clears her throat, thinking of the final words of a mother who knew she’d never see her son again. It was strange to think that back then Aaron was just her friend and her boss, and Jack was his son. They weren’t hers yet, it hadn’t even crossed her mind that they one day could be.
Haley’s words were imprinted in her memory, burned into her brain, and now it was a promise that was also up to her to uphold, part of the role she’d agreed to when she walked into Aaron and Jack’s family and took a permanent place. She lifts his hand to her lips and kisses his knuckles, her lips catching against scars he’d earned when getting vengeance for the first woman he’d loved whilst protecting their son. His skin torn open on the face of a man who had tried to take everything from him and had almost succeeded.
It made Aaron’s gentleness all the more incredible and precious to her, because she knew what he was capable of, what he could be driven to but only when it was the only option left. He was a soft, gentle man despite everything in his life that had tried to harden him, a true show of the strength the rest of the world thought it understood when they saw it in him.
“She wanted you and Jack to be happy,” she says, kissing his knuckles again, “She would be happy for you.”
He nods and laughs, looking at her, his eyes shining with tears, “Did I ever tell you that she used to think I had a crush on you?”
She shakes her head, her eyes going wide, “No, you didn’t.”
“She used to ask me if I’d asked you out yet whenever we did handover with Jack,” he smiles, a hint of happiness peeking out from behind the sadness, “At one point she started threatening to ask you out for me.”
She laughs, “She’d love to know I eventually had to ask you out.”
He nods, “She really would,” he says, smiling as she reaches out to wipe a tear away from his cheek, unaware that he was crying at all until her skin touches his, “She’d love you.”
She clears her throat in an attempt to push her unexpected emotions down, but it forces them upwards, tears springing at the back of her eyes, “Well, I love her too,” she says, running her fingers through his hair, “How could I not when she’s part of our family?”
He doesn’t know how to respond, everything he wants to say seemingly not enough as it sticks in his chest. Instead of saying anything, he pulls her closer, resting his head against her chest, blowing out a slow breath as he listens to her heartbeat, letting it soothe him as she runs her fingers through his hair.
“I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow,” he says earnestly, and she rests her cheek against the top of his head, hugging him closer.
“I can’t wait to marry you either.”
___
Emily hums quietly, keen to make sure she doesn’t wake up anybody else in the house. She tilts her head to look down at the newborn baby fast asleep on her chest, smiling softly at the sight of her son’s cheek squished against her t-shirt and the small patch of drool below his mouth. It was their first night home from the hospital, the first night she had all her boys under one roof, and she wasn’t sure she could sleep despite being exhausted. She felt strangely wired, excitement and love making her restless in a way she’d never experienced in her entire life.
She and Aaron had already playfully argued at length who Issac looked the most like out of the two of them. She thought the newborn was all Aaron, apart from her unmistakable nose and her slightly darker hair, but Aaron insisted all he saw was her. She knew that would be part of the fun of watching her baby grow up, seeing who he took after in looks and personality, but for now, she couldn’t even bring herself to think about it. She wanted to sit in this phase of her life for as long as she could, the long hours and sleepless nights something she knew she’d one day look back on and wonder how time had moved so fast.
“Only the cutest boys get to drool on me, sweet boy,” she says, kissing the top of his head, “I hope you know that.”
“She says that to all the boys, Issac,” Aaron says, drawing her attention to where he’s standing in the living room doorway, his hair rumpled from sleep and his eyes tired, “She’s said it to me before.”
“That was when you had a tooth removed and I felt sorry for you,” She jokes as she kisses the top of Issac’s head, “Sorry if we woke you up,” she says to Aaron as he walks over to join them on the couch, “He wouldn’t settle so I brought him down here after I fed him.”
“No need to apologise, sweetheart,” he replies, kissing the top of her head as he wraps his arm around her, helping her shift closer to him so she’s comfortable, “You could have woken me up.”
“I know,” she replies, turning her head to kiss him, “But we were okay,” she looks back down at Issac, “Huh, Zaccy? And I was able to feed him without either one of us crying,” she says, smiling up at her husband, her pride unmistakable, “Which is more than we managed in the hospital.”
“That’s amazing, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her temple as he rests his hand over hers on Issac’s back, “I’m so proud of you.”
She beams at him, “Thank you,” she says, tears shining in her eyes as she leans in to kiss him, “I’m proud of me too,” she looks back down at her sleeping newborn and sighs contentedly, blowing out a shaky breath as a tear slips down onto her cheek, “I just want to stare at him forever. He’s so cute I could cry.”
“You are crying, Em,” Aaron replies softly, his tone gentle as he makes it clear he isn’t making fun of her whilst he wipes her tears away for her.
“Give me a break,” she grumbles good-naturedly, “I pushed a person out of my body two days ago. I’m allowed to cry.”
“I know,” he replies, running his hand up and down her arm, “You’re allowed whatever you want for the rest of our lives.”
She chuckles and reaches out for Issac’s hand, her breath catching in her throat when he grasps her finger, his tiny fist tight around it. “I know Reid would tell me that’s just a reflex,” she says, sniffing as she tries to push down the happy sob she feels building in her chest, “But it’s a really fucking cute reflex.”
“The cutest,” Aaron affirms, kissing the top of her head as she lifts her finger to her lips to kiss Issac’s tiny knuckles. She does it several times, stamping her lips against his soft skin, and then she lets her hand drop back down to her chest. She sucks in a shaky breath and Aaron continues to run his hand up and down her arm, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“I made that hand,” she says, her voice full of awe, “Isn’t that crazy? I made his perfect little hands.”
Aaron kisses her, his lips catching her cheek before her lips, and when he pulls back he smiles, and she already knows what he’s going to say, “It’s not crazy. You’re perfect - so of course he is too.”
She rolls her eyes at him but is cut off from saying anything by a cry from Issac. He rubs his face against her chest and she immediately starts to soothe him, “You’re okay, sweet boy,” she says, smiling when he roots against her, tugging her finger towards his mouth to suck on it, “You’re hungry again, huh?”
Aaron helps her rearrange her shirt and unclip the cup of her bra, and sits back afterwards, knowing she wants to get the hang of the rest of it by herself, “Maybe he just really likes your breasts,” Aaron quips, smiling widely when she raises an eyebrow at him, offering her a shrug in return, “He looks exactly like you, he had to get something from me?”
She smiles and shakes her head, adjusting her hold on Issac as he latches on, “Daddy thinks he’s funny, sweet boy.”
Aaron stands up and kisses the top of her head, “I’ll get your water bottle and a snack.”
“Thanks, honey,” she replies, looking up from Issac to watch Aaron leave before she returns her attention to her youngest son, “Want to know a secret, Zaccy?” She says, smiling as he wraps his hand around her finger again, making her wonder how something so small could mean so much, “Daddy is very funny, but we can never let him know.”